:: Dear Diary… I…… What the f**k!? ::
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<< You are dealt -10 000 Emotional Damage. It was super effective. >> << Your Current Status is Stunned and Dazed. Enemies have Advantage over your body. >>
"D-Diary! Wh-what the f**k are you doing to poor Nello! Get off his head right now!"
"...H.......Help.....Big Sis.......I....I can't feel my nose any moooore...."
Pastrache was supposed to be happy. Supposed to be.
After visiting a certain Constable's collection of 59 sisters who served a convent, she was able to obtain the necessary intel as well anti-undead weaponry and defenses to battle against the rough riding Vampires... As well as a side inventory of hand-knit scarves, a package of Chamomile Tea bags, and a free rosary or two.
Overall, it cost her about two bottles worth of Iron Scotch and an expensive 'Well My Lover's' Chocolate Set to acquire it all (as well as other sweets and wine), but she felt it was worth the 500 Gold pieces she invested.
Just when she came back, to the Lake House, wanting to celebrate her successful preparations with her favorite Tank Little Brother...
...She had the look as if she entered a violent crime scene gone bad.
"N-Nello! Poor Nello! S-speak to me! Wh-what happened!?"
"....Uunggg...A...Anne...Anne wanted me to become stonger....Uunng....Sh-she made me do pushes up........ Big Sis... my nose hurts..."
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The T-34 Tank had no arms.
It was impossible to do push-ups. Impossible to do them like a regular human that is. So he was forced to use his 3 meter long nose to force the front of his 23 ton body off the ground and back down... off the ground and back down... off the ground and back down.
It was the same as a strong man lifting up the nose of a car, up and down, up and down, up and down.
Sitting on top was his 'coach', Miss Hologram Diary Girl. She was cross legged and was focused on counting the astral fingers on her hands. Judging by the number of digits she had curling and uncurling...one... two... five...
Oh dear god...
This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.
<< You gained 10 000 XP from regular exercising. Your STR has increased by 30 points. >> << WARNING! Joint Stress are reaching critical levels. Your CON has temporarily decreased by 20. >> << WARNING! Your Hydration Status is: ERROR_UNKNOWN_VARIABLE. Your are THIRSTY. >> << Please cease all training and hydrate now. >>
"...Hnnnn....Th...three hundred...f...fifty seven.... th....three hundred f-fifty eiiiiiiiiiight...uugaa..."
"D-Diary! S-stop torturing my dear Nello and get the f**k off his head! No! Not give me the bird and mouth 'go f**k myself'! D-do you want me to shove this free courtesy pen I got from a special sales up your holographic @ss!? I know you can feel pain, so get off him RIGHT NOW!"
".......Wheeeeze.....Wheeeeeze......F...four...hundreeeeeeed!.......Pant pant.......F-four hundred an-and oooooone--"
"STOP! Nello! Oh my poor Nello! Stop it right now! You don't have to do any more push ups now! Oh my poor baby! F**K YOU DIARY! WHAT THE H*LL WERE YOU THINKING!?"
The Hologram Girl that slid off of the Tank's turret head as if a slide waved her hands around.
Along with her garbeled speech, she was trying to explain that Nello was going to be the star pitcher in her future Ball Base team and she was training him for the day where they will shine in the World Series.
The Artifical Intelligence ended up being spanked, violently.
"Turn yourself off and go to your room in my pocket! Think over what you've done and write a 500 page essay as to how wrong you were! NOOOOOW!"
After a valiant kick to the Half-Elf's shin, the Holographic Girl disappeared into nothing more than a lifeless leather bound diary book. Pastrache was about to stomp on its inactive form, but that would end up breaking expensive equipment (and memento from daddy) so she just groaned and shoved it down into her pant pocket.
Then her rage dissolved when she buckled over to caress the tank's armor.
"Nellooooooo! I'm sorry for leaving you alone like that! B-Big Sister promise she will never leave you with my Dairy again! Did she hurt you?"
"N-no... I-I'm okay.... but.... I can't move my nose... it's cramping."
To express his point across, the T-34 Tank tried to move his 76 mm cannon. A lot of creaking could be heard, along with his moaning pain.
It was the exact sound a 200+ pound person would make after their first day of intense cardio workout.
"Fear not, Nello! She won't bother you again! Oh my sweet, sweet little brother tank! Ooooooh!"
"Uwaaaah! B-Big Sis's face is so warm on my belly!"
The best way to picture this heart-felt scene, is this fragile looking Half-Elf surrounded by cr*p on of shopping bags and equipment packages around her, on her knees and cradling the front armor of the T-34 Russian Tank. Cooing as if it were her pet Welsh Corgi....................................................................
Yeah.
"Gughg!?"
"Nello! A-are you hurt? D-did you sprain something!? Talk to me! Say something!"
"U-um, I'm okay. It's just that........Big Sis's ears are very long... it tickles."
"...................................... Nello. Are you making fun of my ears?"
"Uwaaa...B-Big Sis is suddenly super scary... S-sorryyyyy!"
"W-wait a minute! I-I'm supposed to be consoling you! So-so why are you crying even harder!? Nello!"