:: Dear Diary: I’ve decided to prepare somethings to surprise Nello. This would involve me having to run back and forth between my friend and the city to make some arrangements. I was thinking we could celebrate our friendship together, regardless if it has been two or three weeks since he transmigrated. Wait, that’s a good idea!! We’ll celebrate his new rebirth in the new world and starting a new life. He is no longer a machine for war now, so this is a good occasion to splurge some money on! Come on Diary, stop kicking my shin and let’s get to work! ::
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“A-aaahn. B-Birdy L-Lady…Y-you’re not Big Sis, s-so please d-don’t touch my armor like thaaaat!”
“Ooooh! To think that this province would have such an exotic creature as a wild animal. Should I catch you to make you my beloved magical familiar. Oh-ho-ho, the possibilities of what fun we will do together.”
“Haaah! Wh-what are you licking your lips? A-are you hungry Miss Birdy?”
“Fu-fu-fu. Wouldn’t you like to know, my dear…….whatever you are.”
Nello was in trouble. Deep trouble.
No, he wasn’t suddenly called back to fight on the Eastern Front in his original world. Neither was fate so cruel as to transmigrate a horde of German Tiger Tanks around him like a plot twist in a manga. The trouble came in the form of a beautiful woman. Nyet, she didn’t have pointy ears. Nyet, she wasn’t exactly a regular human you meet in a regular fantasy world. Nyet.........Sorry narrator lost train of thought...
Rather, she was wearing this elaborate robe made out of 1000 raven feathers, long silky black hair, and sported a cute cone hat.
“…Um…Miss Birdy… My name is Nello…Who are you?”
“Oh-ho-ho. Don’t you know the Wicked Witch of the West when you see one, my darling?”
“……. What’s a witch?”
“Th-that was supposed to be a joke to tease you, y-yet why does your honest response hurt my pride… I-I feel like I want to cry now that I realized how unpopular my class is…”
Yes, a Witch.
As this was an alternate fantasy realm where regular people in our world would be reincarnated or transmigrated, or both, over to this side of the coin, it was only a matter of time before our heavy metal hero would stumble onto these peculiar creatures known as Witches.
The woman who resembled a walking and squawking raven etched a smile over her face as she continued to rub her palms over the front of the T-34 Tank’s armor. She would examine every crevasse and line, every bolt and screw, to even tickle her finger in the small spaces between the bottom of his armor cover and his tank treads.
<< Raven Witch used TICKLE. Nello's Defenses Sharply Fell. >> << Nello has been dealt -100 Emotional Damage. His Status is: Paralyzed. >>
“Guugh! N-not my feet! I-it tickles! Ugyaagagagaga!”
“Hmm…Jokes aside, I still find you an odd specimen. The fact that you’re an advanced form of automaton with a high level of independence and intelligence still confuses me, despite the fact I wholeheartedly want to believe you’re a real magical structure. Say, little one, could you do me a favor?”
“U-um…I-I don’t know if I can really help you Miss Birdy.”
“Please call me Sleipnir. It’s easier to roll off your tongue, Oh-ho-ho.”
“Shipyard.”
“…Sleipnir.”
“Sou-Souvlaki?”
“Sleipnir.”
“Sh—BICHUUGUGFFF!”
“…… Bless you. And you still got it wrong.”
“S-Sorry Miss Birdy.”
“…. Alright fine, Birdy it is… Although, I don’t like being referenced to a scoring in a golf game.”
“Sniff. Cough. U-Um. You said you want me to do a favor… wh-what is it?”
The T-34 Tank was confused as he stared at this beautiful woman who called herself a witch. He was supposed to be patrolling around the outer edge of the forest while his Big Sister dealt with ‘private matters’ within the bushes.
He knew she was in dire need to let it all out with all her heart, so he respected Pastrache enough to roll away to let her speak in her diary. To make sure he didn’t accidentally overheard anything, he ‘walked’ about 100 meters from the lake she was sitting at and exploring the area.
While he was scanning the road to spot for any possible threats, the biggest one suddenly surprised him by falling onto his head. Not gracefully no. More like she just dropped from a 10 story roof, tried to fly on her broom, and she just up and slammed her body onto Nello’s head.
<< Replaying Record for 'Travelling Reader'............... COMPLETE >> [https://thumbs.gfycat.com/IdioticEqualIcelandichorse-size_restricted.gif]
"Gulp, gulp, gulp. Puwaaaaaah. That hits the spot! Thanks for the Health Potion little one. If I kept bleeding out like that from such a tragic fall, my life points would surely hit zero. Ooh, this concoction is surprisingly effective. Even my discloated shoulder is back in place. See, my arm isn't swinging around like dead rubber!!"
“………..Um... Don’t tell Big Sis about it. Sh-she’ll get real mad if she finds out I borrowed three potion for you to recover without her permission...Uwaa, maybe I should have asked first....”
“Oh don’t worry. A woman never tells her secret… especially to another cow-b*tch.”
“What’s a cow—”
“So, what exactly are you? And can you promise to do me that favor I mentioned?”
“Um…Fi-first, I’m a T-34-85 Battle Tank of the Soviet Red Army. I-I was born and fought in the Battle of Stalingrad when the German Tanks invaded my homeland…Um…..I can shoot with my nose and my eye.”
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The Witch tilted her head when the tank said ‘eye’. To emphasize, he wiggled the barrel of his anti-infantry machine gun installed into the turret head.
“And… I can use my body as a shield!! B-Big Sis always told me how helpful I am whenever people try to shoot at her! I can block the bullets!”
“Impressive, truly impressive. Why if this contract between us is successful, I could surely take advantage of my stronger foes with that iron body of yours…Fu-fu-fu. Oh the possibilities I can have with you in my future quest for continental domination!!”
“…Miss Birdy, your drooling on my armor.”
“Sh-sh*t! M-my bad habit is showing when I get excited. A-ahem.”
“U-um. N-not to be rude, Miss Birdy but… you mentioned something of a favor three times. Er… what do you want me to do?”
The Raven Witch wiped something off from her mouth, re-applied her lipstick with a compact mirror, and turned back to look at the T-34 Tank with hungry eyes. She suddenly leaned over the front, even climbing her one knee across the iron slope as if it were the edge of a bed.
With one arm supporting her body on the metal, she would use her other slender hand covered in a black bridal gauntlet to make her fingers walk across the armor plating as if a pair of fine legs.
A sweet smile coiled on her lips as she breathed.
“…Be my familiar♥.”
“What’s a familiar?"
“Geh!? D-don’t ruin the moment! Just say yes! Here, let's make it official!”
<< Message Received: Raven Witch had sent you a Magical Contract. >> << Raven Witch is offering you a Position to become her Arcane Familiar. Do you accept? (Y/N) >>
=> ............................
“… Um…B-Big Sis told me I shouldn't promise anything from a stranger…Now that I think about it, she told me to not talk to people I don’t know. They can be super scary and eat me…A-are you going to eat me Miss Birdy?”
“Does it look like I have teeth capable of crushing diamonds and an intestines that could withstand sharp metal fragments. Even if I did survive the initial biting phase, my body would surely twist and fail from bad case of iron indigestion. I don’t want to reincarnate to another world so soon!”
“………………………………Uuuuuuuuuuuuuu. M-Miss Birdy is mad at me…Uuuuuh.”
<< Raven Witch used SCARY GLARE. Nello's Emotions Sharply Fell. It's Super Effective! >> << Nello's Status is now FRIGHTENED. Please seek counselling. >>
“…W-wait a moment. A-are you… are you actually crying? You, this advanced form of magical artificial intelligence!? A golem that shouldn’t have any form of indpendence of emotion, yet here you are!! Surely, you’re not actually crying because my voice is only two decibals louder!?!?”
“Big Sis! Wh-where are you!? I-I’m scaaaaared……..Now I forgot the way back! I’m lost! Big Siiiiiiis! Uwaaaah! (TxT)”
“Nuwooooh! Y-you’re seriously crying like a child lost in a shopping market!? Y-you weigh over 100 tons and covered in diamond-hard carapace, yet you’re really bawling because you can't find your mother in beauty section!? I-I’m a beautiful girl, a nice witch born from the north – s-surely that should mean something!”
The Witch was proud she found herself a good catch.
She was looking for a magical pet and combat mount, in order to support her in her future to dominate the the continent as she would fly around on her magical broom spreading chaos everywhere. Cackling beautiful along the way, no less.
However, she didn’t expect the T-34 tank to actually drop his 3 meter cannon into the dirt and make sobbing sounds. If she didn’t know better, she thought a child was hiding behind that armor. But no matter how much she would peek inside the cracks and open spaces, she saw no one curled up in tears inside of the crew compartment.
“W-wait. Wait a minute! D-don’t make this Witch look bad! I-I’m very nice, y-you know. I-I love children! See! …. Bleeeeeeeeeh! I-I can make a funny face that even babies will laugh at—”
“GYAAAAAAAH! A GHOOOOOOOOOOOST! BIG SIIIIIIIIS! HELP MEEEEEEEE! (0д0)”
“DON’T F**KING DISS MY FACE, YOU RAT-@SS PIECE OF METAL! DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE MY MAKE-UP IS! IT’S MADE FROM UNICORN HORN AND PROTON SEAWEED! BOTH ARE RARE INGREDIENTS IN THIS WORLD! I INTENTIONALLY TWISTED MY DELICATE FACE JUST TO MAKE YOU SMILE! BE – F**KING – GRATEFFUL!”
“UGYAAAAAAAAAH! BIG SIS! BIG SIS! WHERE DID YOU GOOOOOO!? UWAAAAAAAAH!”
“Oh my god, I honestly don’t know how to solve this……Would you like some taffy, little boy?”
“…....................Sniff…What’s taffy?”
“It’s very sweet and makes your teeth…eeer…nose chewy??”
“Oh! I see, lubricant for my gears! Okay! I’ll try it Miss Birdy!”
“………………………..Mein gott, what is wrong with children these days. To follow a stranger because she’s passing out sweets…….Sigh. Never mind. I’m not a villain type character, so rest assured. Maybe, let’s talk things over about making a pact in being my Magical Familiar while I offer you some ice cream.”
“Oh! Something cold and sweet! Okay! Let’s go!”
No sooner did the Raven Witch smiled, feeling relaxed that she had made a new friend–
–Nello’s original friend LUNGED!
“GET THE F**K AWAY FROM MY NELLO YOU RAVEN WH*RE!!!!!”
“NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
<< You used MILITARY-GRADE FLYING TACKLE on Raven Girl. You dealt -90 FORCE Damage. >> << The target's status is now Prone and Dazed. You have Double Advantage over her body. >>
Nello stopped in his tracks and turned to the squeal of a cat being tortured. When he looked over his shoulders… er, tracks, he saw a familiar Half-Elf rolling across the grass with the Raven Witch. In the eyes of a normal man, they would have a lovely reaction to the sight in front of him.
In Nello's eyes... was a different story altogether.
“…Oh! Big Sis! You’re back! Sniff. I was so worried about you!!!”
“Nello! Who is this woman that’s dressed like a slutty crow and propositioning her body to you!? I told you, never say yes to a shady pretty girl who offers to show you things men want to see!”
“G-geeg…I…I’m not a…..p…pro…prostit…Aaag! H-heelp! …… M...my familiar...… s…saaaaave me…”
The Tank looked down at the two lovely woman wrestling each other in a life and death match.
The Half-Elf could be seen mounting the Raven Witch across the waist, both of her elegant hands wrapped tight around the latter's throat. Maybe because of her class as a Witch, she had zero combat or physical strength to even save herself. At most, her only method of defense was hitting the Half-Elf in the gut with her fists.
Again, each blow weighed exactly as a cat punch. They did nothing more than tickle Pastrache's belly button, and it only added more fuel to her womanly fire.
“From now on Nello, always be on your guard when you’re around pretty women. They can’t be trusted!! Housewife is okay, but if she is lonely and giving you signs like brushing her hair over her nape or tracing her fingers across the color of her dress, just turn away and talk to me. I’ll calm you down with a head pat!!”
“……C…Can you say that again Big Sis? Miss Birdy is making too much noise, I-I can’t hear you.”
“H-help…I-Innocent…F..Familiar…. Business….Ggeegg…….N…not…s…sluuuut….”
“WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU F**KING EGG-LAYING CROW!? I WILL BEAT YOU LIKE A CHEROKEE DRUM!”
“Uwaaah! W-wait! Wait! Big Sis! You misunderstood, she’s a nice lady who only wanted to treat me to candy and ice cream! I-I don’t know what it is, b-but it sounds like she’s a good person!”
“I – DON’T – CAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!”
“GGEGGGHFF! I-I DOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Don't worry, Miss Raven Witch lived to fly another day... although, she was hospitalized for a month after this...and had to seek occasional therapy for her phobia towards Elves.