“Sir. The hired guns you’ve dispatched should be about done. Would you like me to prepare their payment?”
“In a bit, let me finish this game.”
“…It’s Cat’s Cradle. Surely you can set it on your desk. No one will dare touch it.”
“If there is one thing you should know about me, I dislike leaving something unfinished. Why do you think I’ve been able to stay as mayor of this dingy town for so long? I always get the job done, by hook or by crook.”
The Mayor if Carnegie Hall Village turned in his comfy velvet chair and onto the face of his desk. He had his eyes narrowed as if focused on a very important task at hand. Literally wrapped in his fingers.
“Hmm…What do you think of this? What does it look like to you?”
“…A Vermillion Sea Star with a Bra.”
“No. A Chameleon Lion Girl with a Bra, where is your sense of taste man?”
“Sorry. I’m a leg person, so I can’t really give my honest opinion on lingerie above the hip line.”
“Fuuuh. I hate this job.”
The Mayor gave up with a groan and chewed on the edge of his cigar. He puffed out a fog of blue smoke from his lips before he ended up ruining his own hard worked creation and shoved it into his officer drawer. Right next to his secretarie’s three different panties.
“……Hmmm…I’m in the mood for black side tie.”
“Sir. About the money for your hired guns.”
“I want for them to come to me personally and tell me from their lips that they’ve done the job. I don’t want even one disgruntled union worker to be breathing about this event. I chose to bet my gold on these profesionals to save me the trouble of going through all the paperwork and finances involved in terminating their contracts. Do you know how much I have to spend on them, as well as their family now that they're out of a job? Hmm? Surely you can estimate the thousands and millions in gold I would have to bleed from my treasury!"
“Hmm…It truly is a pickle.”
“You, Mr. Assistant. Why are you standing around like a scarecrow. Join me for a drink. I’m in a good mood today.”
The Mayor grinned, as if he discovered he won the lottery by didn’t want to show it. To celebrate whatever occasion he had in mind, he opened his fined bottle of cheap whisky into two cups. One tall and one small. It was obvious who would get who.
“Dibs on the small.”
“That, Mr. Scarecrow, is why you’re still my Confidante in office. Drink up.”
Inside of his office was another man. Much like his nickname, he was tall, thin, too skinny for his health, and held himself as stiff as a board. He even had strips of hay falling out of his sleeve for some reason. So we’ll call him Mr. Scarecrow.
Mr. Scarecrow downed his drink with one motion. Somehow, it dripped all down his shirt but no one knows how that phenomenon happened. The Mayor didn’t notice, he was already deep in thought about something more pressing.
“…Side ties and a triangle bikini…Something daring today to spice up my life.”
“What about your wifie sir? If you haven’t noticed, she has kept a strict surveillance on you from her secretary on the third floor.”
“Hmm…She’s my woman already too, so she will be acting as a double agent.”
“Truly, the Mayor knows how to play the game.”
The man mulling the cigar shot a finger gun at his confidante. Mr. Scarecrow returned fire.
“... Still about that payment.”
“Fine. Fine…1000 Won.”
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!__ >>
~ Creativite Disposition ~
You thought of a word that sounds plausible to be real. Good imagination Chief. *Finger Gun*
The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
“What currency is that?”
“Don’t know just made it up off the top of my head…Oh. I got an achievement for being creative. Fu-fu-fu. I seem to be stepping up my game in this world. Ha-ha-ha!!”
“But seriously sir, these are professionals who have experience in fighting wars between rivalling clans and kingdoms. How much would you like to pay?”
“Full amount as promised. No need for them to come after me if I short change them. Although no one is interested in running for office and the next Mayor for the following term is obvious. Handling scandals or blackmarket dealings at this point is too much of a hassle. That why I keep the surface of my pay bills 'clean'. My wife actually thinks I was spending extra money to purchase those exotic toys in the East, to whip her body into shape."
“That sounds exciting sir.”
“…………”
“…Ahum…yes. I’ll begin arranging the money at once. The moment they return to the designated meeting place, I will complete the transaction to their Swissa Account via the Ethereal Net Drive and they will no longer be affiliated to us.”
“Very good, very good…Now…Maybe I should have my secretary dress up as an Elf today instead. I mean, that fair maidenly adventurer who dropped by earlier sure was a firecracker.”
“You mean the woman who drop kicked your groin sir?”
“Yes. That’s the girl! I like women like her, full of sass and character! Hah! Mr. Scarecrow, dind some roguish looking men in town and ask them to do me a favour.”
“Catch her. Clean her. And serve her on a silver platter with food on her body, sir?”
“Yes! Exactly! That’s why I chose you to be my second in command in office! Bwaa-haa-haa!”
*Creeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!*
The Mayor wanted to enjoy this glorious day. And Mr. Scarecrow was hoping to sneak in close to get a second round of that cheap Whiskey while his boss was laughing and none the wiser.
However, the door to their office slowly creaked open… like the beginning of a horror film.
“…Hmm? Who is she? Why is she covered in lily pads and pond scum?”
“Po-Pointy Ears…sir, she’s the Groin Killer”
“…Oh yes! Of course! I remember you now, the Elf slu—I mean Adventurer! Cough. Greetings again. So, have you considered my, ahem, previous offer. It still stands…. If you know what I…Hmm? Captain Barbossa? What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be manning the barracks at Fort Sienna 1-1-7?”
Standing at the open doorward was a certain Half-Elf.
She was drenched from head to toe, with a series of seagrass and lily pads draped over her head and shoulders as if a new fashion line. Her eyes did not look happy.
Flanking behind her, was this man in an important looking military uniform covered in a full suit of crimson armor. A sword and long dagger at his hip, where his hand was resting. He had the exact same look.
At first, this gesture alone didn’t sink into the Mayor. No, he was still staring blankly at the two intruders while biting on his cigar. Until he noticed Mr. Scarecrow acting strangely.
“…You. Confidante. Why are you climbing out my window? Do you have a fetish for free fall?”
“…I don’t know this man…and I quit sir.”
“What?”
Before the Mayor knew it, Mr. Scarecrow jumped out of the window—
<< Accessing KNIGHT'S ACTION CAM....................... COMPLETE >> [https://78.media.tumblr.com/162828a714d428e4fc049a35885661a3/tumblr_inline_p3vgnqCPIM1s81w8r_540.gif]
—Only to have several soldiers in silver armor swing in through that same window on iron cables and kicked him back inside.
“………………………………………………..Wh…what’s going on?”
All sorts of warning windows were popping up. Each and everyone of them was trying to tell him tha his windows and doors were being attacked. One by one, more soldiers entered the room through the windows, and even through a secret compartment in the attics
About 20 fine looking men with swords and muskets were standing in front of the Mayor.
The only person who stood out, was that Half-Elf with unhappy eyes, and this strange rifle in her hands.
“…That’s the guy. F**k him boys.”
“…Wait…H-hold it! No! Stop! I-I! I DON’T TAKE IT LIKE MY SECRETARY! STOP! NOOO! NYWAAGA GAAAAAA AAAAAAAA!”
<< Knight Lv 5 used ARMORED PUNCH. Dealt you -10 Bludgeoning Damage! >> << Knight Lv 4 used ARMORED KICK. Dealt you -9 Piercing Damage! >> << Knight Lv 7 used MARTIAL STOMP. Dealt you -20 Psychic Damage! Critical Hit! You are Concussed >> << Your Status is now Prone. Enemies have Advantage over you. >> << Your Health Status is: 5 / 40. Would you like to surrender? (YOUR ANSWER IS CANCELLED) >>
Moral of the story – don’t be a d**k.