"Come on, can you please be our girlfriend?"
"We'd get along just fine, so you really should please be our girlfriend."
"Please?"
"Pretty please?"
Pan's mom chuckled softly as she wondered what to do with the kids. The house around her was the cleanest it had been in ages, and it was so shiny one could swear it could be seen from space. Turns out becoming someone's girlfriend was a really good motivator.
"Well it's getting late," she said as she noticed the sunset. "Why don't you spend the night here as I think about it?"
"Thanks for the offer," Scitus said. "But I was planning to camp outside tonight and-"
"We're having cookies tonight."
"I appreciate the offer but I must decline."
"Scitus," Stercus said with his mouth full of drool. "They have cookies."
"I know," she replied. "I still refuse. It seems my coworker wants to stay at your place, however."
"Young'un you can't stay outside," Pan's mom says. "There are many sexual deviants and predators out at night that would take advantage of the poor visibility to assault you."
Says the woman sho gave birth to about a million of those and has around 90 of them in her house at that moment.
"I guess staying over one night won't hurt," says the so-called intelligent young lady who isn't smart enough to realize this was a bad idea.
They stayed inside for the night and had a relatively peaceful time there. Well, asides from the three times they were raped, but it was relatively peaceful.
The following morning had the duo split up in order to cover more quests at the same time. Stercus had to kill some gryphons and small chimeras in the city while Scitus had to fix a bike and gather wood.
"Gryphons," Stercus muttered to himself. "This will be my first time seeing one."
In case you had no idea a gryphon was a creature with the front half of a four-legged mammal and the back half of a bird. They were seen as majestic creatures, with one even being the national animal of another country in this world. Well, the lion-eagle breed was at least.
Before Stercus could take another step a small flying animal crashed into him with its claws out. It was small and annoying but a quick slash of Stercus's sword was able to destroy it. Wondering where it came from he turned around to see a large swarm of them battling around a small area in front of someone's house while someone who was clearly not an adventurer tried to shoo them away with a broom and trash can lid.
"Excuse me," Stercus said to get the young man's attention. "Do you need help disposing of them?"
"Yes please," the guy said, clearly exhausted. "These gryphons have been getting in the trash again, please take them away."
"Okay then." Stercus put his hand forward and shot a fireball towards the mob of gryphons. It didn't hit any of the gryphons miraculously but it did set the trash can that they were swarming on fire. The gryphons, noticing this, flew away from the trash can to who knows where.
"Problem solved," Stercus said. "Your welcome."
The man sighed. "You've never dealt with racoon-crow gryphons before have you?"
Stercus just shrugged while taking a cookie out and biting into it.
At that moment the sky darkened. A dark cloud flew over the show, with closer inspection revealing that it was a swarm. That swarm seemed to be full of the gryphons from before, each with there eyes closed in on the cookie in Stercus's hand.
"Welp," the guy said as he went inside. "You're fucked up."
Stercus had never thought he'd see something so dangerous in his lifetime.
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"So this is the bike you want me to fix," Scitus said as she picked up a red bike with a broken pedal.
"Yes," a young woman said. "My job is in a faraway town so I'd appreciate it if you fix it as soon as possible."
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"Can't you just learn a teleportation spell?"
"Do you think I have the money for that? And besides, I'm on a diet, I need the exercise."
"Okay then." Scitus looked at the bicycle. "Well, it's clearly broken."
"Thanks captain obvious."
"Well, can you hand me a bottle of glue and the broken piece?"
"Okay," the lady said, somehow having them on hand at the moment and handing them to Scitus.
"Now watch a professional at work." Scitus took the glue and poured some on the broken edge of the bicycle and stuck the broken pedal onto it.
The pedal fell off again immediately.
"The only glue I have is for paper," the woman explained. "Not bicycles."
"Then why did you even bring it here in the first place?"
"I thought you might want to make arts and crafts later or something?"
"Why would I want to make arts and crafts?"
"You can make a cool action figure with enough cardboard. I have Ultraman stickers you can use."
"Not interested."
"Really? I thought all young boys your age were interested in Ultraman stickers."
"I'm a girl you know."
"But Scitus sounds like a boy's name," the lady said confused.
"My parents always said they expected a boy, so when I turned out to be a girl they just gave me the name they had in mind anyway," Scitus says, forgetting about the bike.
"Oh really," the lady said, also forgetting about the bike. "They seem weird. I'd plan for both if I were a parent."
"Of course you would. My father is quite the idiot after all."
The girls continued their talk until the sun started to set. Scitus had to gather wood so she left for the forest after a small while.
She never got her bike fixed.
"Alright then," Scitus said to herself. "I need to make sure my coworker is okay."
"No need for that. I'm alright."
Scitus turned behind her to see Stercus covered in blood, guts, and feathers. He dragged a large sack behind him that was dripping with blood and left a long trail throughout the town.
"What's in the bag?"
"Just some gryphons that gave me some trouble. A few chimeras as well."
"Okay. I'm going to the forest to gather wood, you wanna come?"
"Okay," Stercus said as he slowly followed Scitus into the forest. The large sack was slowing him down, but he was sure that it may be important later. It did end up as their dinner so I guess it was important, but we're not at that point yet.
Scitus took one of the sacks by her belt and pulled out a large axe that clearly wouldn't be able to fit there if it weren't for some sort of magic. Barely out of the city grounds she took the axe and began to chop the tree down.
"Why do you have to chop the trees down?" Stercus was genuinely curious.
"The client wants wood though," Scitus replied
"Well, this may not be the best idea, but can't we burn them down. They only wanted wood and never specified that it shouldn't be on fire."
Scitus grinned. "It seems that my genius is rubbing off on you, after all, that idea was genius."
Scitus grabbed some clear, glass wine bottles out of another one of her small sacks. The bottles were full of a red light bouncing around rapidly like bug or bolt of lightning.
"What's that?"
"This is a MagiBoh, a special bottle of magical sealing properties that you can get in packs of ten for only two payments of 3998 genty! I spent all of my money stocking up on these!"
For a better explanation, absorbing bottles, this specific brand being MagiBoh, were magically enforced containers that could seal any projectile spell inside it and releases it whenever opened or destroyed. Scitus did in fact use all of her money on these bottles and proceeded to fill a majority of them with various different spells, these ones being filled with Fireballs and Great Fireballs and the like.
Scitus laid the bottles on the ground over a large area of forest land, each of them about five feet from each other.
"Do you have any fire spells?" Scitus asked.
"I have Fireball."
"Okay, so on the count of three you should shoot the MagiBoh closest to you with a fireball. One... Two..."
"HOLD IT!" A large bearded man who had an outfit and clothes that made him resemble a lumberjack. He had a large shotgun in hand and seemed prepared to shoot it if necessary.
"This is my property," the man said. "I forbid you from damaging this forest any further."
"One thing first," Scitus said.
"What do you want?"
"Three."
Nothing happened.
Crickets chirped.
The man tapped his foot impatiently.
"Coworker?"
"Yeah!" Stercus seemed to snap out of a trance-like state he was put in upon seeing the man's gun.
"I said three."
"Oh," Stercus said as he shot the bottle with his fireball. Despite looking sturdy the bottle broke apart quite easily, creating an explosion so big most of the other bottles were destroyed and exploded as well. The trees in the area lit ablaze and toppled one by one in a grand forest fire that killed the man before he could move.
And he would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids.
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General Info Stats Spells
Name: Stercus Pauls STR 33 Ignis Gloriae Age: 13yrs 28days SPE 31 (+20) Fireball Fire Sniper Rifle HP: 38/38 INT 28 Level: 11 DUR 29 (+20) Exp: 728/2048 LCK 26 Spells Known: 1 MGE 34 Armour: Malice's Heart (+20 DUR, +20 SPD) CHR 7