"Come on Krys," Stercus said as he petted Krys like a puppy. "We'll get more, don't worry."
"B-B-Buh.., but..," Krys sobbed. "I could've made some money!"
"There there," Stercus said as he cuddled her. "I'll help you get some more."
"Th-Thank you."
"Geez girl," Veritas complained. "Stop complaining about this so much."
"Crying's a natural reaction to negative events," Stercus said. "I cried for two weeks on end when my brother died, and that wasn't even the end of it!"
"I'm pretty sure that's different."
"How is it different?"
"How is it the same?"
"Well," Stercus said as he thought about it. "Both times we cried because something was eaten after all."
Veritas just sighed. "Does stupidity run in your family or are you just an odd one?"
Stercus just shrugged.
"D-Did you at least find a rubiginous stone?" Krys asked this, still crying.
"Unfortunately I'm a fighter, not a miner," Veritas admitted. "So no."
"I just want out of this cave already."
"Can that wait a moment," Pan said. "I never fucked a golem before and there's so many in this cave that I just want to try it."
"You shouldn't," Scitus said. "Sexual interactions with rocks are linked to many STIs like HIV, AIDS, and some weird affliction that involves the dick getting hard."
"Do you think that would stop me?"
"Very well then. I'll be sure to see you at your funeral."
"See ya," Pan said, walking on to find a rock golem.
"Well that happened," Diamond said, still not noticing the slime still trying to snuggle up to him. Before it could continue the zombie pulled it away as if saying it was their turn. The slime didn't care and the two argued, not noticing the kitsune snuggle up to him during the moment.
"Um guys," Diamond said not noticing the extreme fluffiness rubbing against him. "Shouldn't we continue now?"
"Shh," Stercus said as he put Krys down to rest. "Let Krys sleep okay?"
"Zzzzz," Krys snored.
"This is stupid," Diamond said.
"You can pass the time reading while we wait," Stercus suggested.
"We brought books?"
"We have this one," Stercus said, handing him a red book.
"It's just the spellbook for the god Ignis Gloriae! What am I supposed to read!"
"You could just look at the spells a lot," Stercus said, not realizing it was the magical equivalent of reading a dictionary.
"Of course," Diamond mumbled. Not seeing any use in arguing about it any further he just sat down and opened the book.
He read about fireballs.
He read about bigger fireballs.
He read about giant fireballs.
And he fell asleep.
Look, Daemonium was never the studious type anyway.
"Hey hey," Stercus said as he shook Diamond awake.
"What is it?" Diamond asked this groggily, still half asleep.
"Aren't these spells cool?"
"No. It's just different ways to shoot fire, with a single fire punch on page two!"
"Come on, at least try it first. Just learn the basic fireball spell."
"Fine," Diamond said as he used the book to learn Fireball. The text glowed as the knowledge seeped through his skin, entered the brain, and his eyes glowed red from the revelation that normal fireballs are kinda boring.
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"Okay," Stercus said, who apparently didn't learn that fact when he learned to make fireballs. "Just shoot one at this rock over here and you'll see what I mean!"
Diamond shot a fireball at a rock.
"So what am I supposed to feel?"
"You're supposed to see how cool it is here! Shooting a fireball is an exhilarating experience in combat!"
"It's not an exhilarating experience, just an experience. Even experience is too strong of a word for how bland it is."
"Maybe you just need it to hit a living being," Stercus said, pulling Pan along. "Shoot him."
"Why me?" Pan, like most living people, didn't want to be a meat shield.
"Scitus would die in one hit and Krys is asleep. And I don't want to risk Veritas killing Diamond."
"Couldn't you have done it yourself?"
"I'm sorry," Stercus said. "But fireballs hurt and I don't like pain."
"NEITHER DO I! DON'T JUST TELL SOMEONE TO SHOOT ME-"
At that moment Pan was shot in the face with a fireball.
"Feels a bit better than before," Diamond said. "But it's still not an exhilarating experience."
"Oh." Stercus walked around and thought about it for a moment. "Use it while fighting someone then! The greatest time to use such a great spell is during the epic heat of battle after all!"
"No thanks," Diamond said. "Sounds boring anyway."
"Now that I think about it," Scitus said. "I haven't seen Diamond fight even once during our quest."
"I think you're right," Stercus replied. "I want to see some of the overwhelming power Krys talks about all the time!"
"Hey, Mr. Diamond. The next time we face a large swarm of enemies let's have you destroy them all this time! What about it?"
"I'll pass," Diamond said, wanting to hide his true power level.
"Seriously? Wouldn't it be easy for you to fight them off?"
"Now that I think about it," Pan said. "He doesn't seem to be anything similar to the Diamond Krys describes at times."
"True," Stercus said. "It's as if he's trying to hide something."
"Because he is," Veritas said. "Admit it!"
"Alright alright," Diamond said, shaking as if they were onto him. "I'll fight then."
"Yay!" The group cheered.
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"Time for the liar to reveal the truth," Veritas said as Diamond stepped in to fight a large horde of Mega Bats.
"Stop calling him a liar Veritas," Krys said. "I'm sure he's going to show us his true power here!"
"Remember to use a fireball or two," Stercus said to Diamond as he took on the challenge.
"Okay," Diamond said, sweating buckets as he tried to figure out how to bullshit himself through this one.
Before Diamond could say 'fireball' though the bats spat out globs of poisonous goo at him. At an unbelievable speed Diamond quickly avoided them all, weaving past each one like a graceful ballerina. He then proceeded to shoot the bats down with his fireballs, burning their wings and making them drop to the floor one by one. Realizing this strategy was too boring he ran up the walls and onto the ceiling, slashing the bats down like grass in a field. Gravity did still exist though, so he was forced to get back onto the ground and dodge more of the poison attacks.
"Wait a minute," Diamond said. "You guys wanted to see how powerful I was right?"
Stercus nodded.
Scitus nodded.
Pan nodded.
Krys nodded.
Veritas put up the middle finger.
"Then it looks like I'll have to go further beyond," Diamond said as a yellow aura appeared around him.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" After about as much screaming as your average episode of Dragon Ball Diamond seemed to transform. His muscles became more defined. He started to float off the ground. His hair grew longer and became yellow. While this seemed to be only a fraction of his power it made the cave start to crack as if it were overflowing.
"FINAL FLASH!" Putting his hands together, Diamond fired a large yellow beam so powerful that not only the bats were destroyed, but also the cave's ceiling. The sun shone down on the spectators eying the scene in awe.
"So," Diamond said, returning to normal. "How was it?"
"AMAZING!" Stercus was impressed.
"INCREDIBLE!" So was Scitus.
"Told ya so!" Krys was proud.
"I shouldn't have doubted ya!" Pan smiled.
Veritas just facepalmed.
"I told you I was great," Diamond said. "So let's just move on."
The crew continued to go through the cave while Veritas just cursed under his breath.
So I guess some of you are wondering how this happened. After all, that couldn't be his actual power, right?
You see, the answer was surprisingly simple.
Diamond simply told his kitsune, Fake Diamond, to use illusions to create the entire scene. Lucky for him Fake Diamond was intelligent so that fox was easily able to recreate it all word for word with perfect voice acting coming from the real Diamond.
Of course, that meant that the bats weren't actually killed, so Diamond had to leave the familiars behind to clean that mess up. Which they did not enjoy at all.
But since they were doing it for the great, wonderful, and magnificent Diamond, it was at least bearable.
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General Info Stats Spells
Name: Daemonium Dissimulato Rex STR 24 Amare Ignis Gloriae
Species: 50% Demon + 50% Succubus DUR 27 Lovely Pheromones Lovely Kiss Fireball Age: 16yrs 61days INT 32 HP: 40/40 SPE 33 Level: 11 LCK 94 Exp: 1269/4096 CHR 154 Spells Known: 3