In a dark room, a humanoid figure in a black cloak sat on a chair with a crystal ball in his lap. He waved his hand over the sphere, which was brown, wrinkly, and had blades instead of fingers on it. His face was reptilian in shape, covered with the color of dirt mixed with dead leaves, and topped with piercing green eyes and pupils that looked like horizontal slashes across the face. He smiled briefly as the crystal ball showed a picture, showing off many rows of small, serrated teeth in the process. He had finally found the young demon he was looking for and was ready to go on to the next phase.
"Yo Apsconditum!" A being of the same species walked into the room. He had red eyes instead of green, was a bit shorter than Apsconditum, and had long fingers. Instead of a long cloak, he wore a pair of shorts, allowing him to show off the exoskeleton-esque armor that covered his torso and six limbs akin to spider legs that were attached to his back.
"Cultro," Apsconditum said with a sigh. "How many times have I told you to knock before coming into my room?"
"I know, I know," Cultro replied. "But I thought it would be fun to stop by for a moment and spy on some people with you." Apsconditum was the God of Spying, so he was quite skilled at looking at a person and observing them without their knowledge. He did have help with his god skill.
God Skill
Information Gathering
Effect: Allows the user to observe any other living being as long as he inputs their full name into any crystal ball.
User can also use the randomize function to look at someone random, although this still requires the crystal ball in order to be used
He was essentially able to spy on anyone in the world with his crystal ball, which his friend Cultro would sometimes take advantage of whenever he wanted to kill or blackmail someone. The two of them also enjoyed using the randomize feature from time to time, often laughing at how dumb some people act in their lives or sit confused when it somehow makes them look at themselves for the 27th time. There are a billion people in the world and somehow it targets them 6 times in a row! How was that even possible!? That was something they could never find the answer to.
"So," Cultro said. "Ready to look at some random people being dumb again?"
"A bit later," Apsconditum replied. "I'm watching the current Demon King. Just a little bit ago he defeated some guy named Veritas. He claimed to be the God of Truth but doesn't look like any god I know."
"Did he respawn after death?"
"Respawn?"
"Yes. When a god is killed they then reappear in the exact place they died as a level 1 version of their previous self. It happened to me the last time I was demoted after all. If he didn't do so then it is likely he was lying."
Apsconditum chuckled. "The God of Truth was actually a liar this whole time. Anyways, it seems Calumnia has gone home while Daemonium and Sanguisa are burying the zombie's body and telling him to rest in peace or something."
"A zombie?"
"It's a long story. I guess now's a good time to look at some other people since those two aren't doing anything interesting."
"Yay!" Cultro sat beside Apsconditum and stared at the crystal ball. Apsconditum turned on the randomize function, only for the crystal ball to show the top of two brown creatures in a dark room looking at a crystal ball.
"Not again," Apsconditum groaned. "This crystal ball hates me or something."
He turned on the randomize function again, this time revealing two adventurers in a guild as they play hangman on the table. One had heavy armor, a large club, and a disturbing air around him that felt like that of a rapist. The other was slender and beautiful and, in Cultro's opinion, the kind of person one would just want to rip to shreds and defile in every way possible. He has a weird taste, don't mind him.
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"Eight letters," Pan said as he drew eight lines to signify each letter. He then drew the post for the hangman to get hung onto right next to it.
"Pan," Krys pointed out. "I haven't said anything yet."
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"I know."
"So why is the head already there?" She points to the hangman which already has its head drawn onto it.
"That? Oh, that's not the head. It's actually the noose. The hangman does need something to hang off of after all."
"Since when was the noose supposed to be there?"
"I just add it in to make it look more natural."
"Okay. Is A a letter in the word?"
A was the sixth letter.
"E?"
"Nope, no E." He then drew a line under the noose that curved to the left side a small bit.
"Wait," Krys realized. "You said that was the noose, not the head!"
"I don't remember doing that."
"But I only guessed one letter wrong!"
"No, you guessed two letters. Try another one."
Krys was pissed but decided not to continue the accusation. "F."
F was the first letter.
"S."
S was the last letter.
"T."
"Wrong." Pan drew a line next to the point he made the curve in the body, making it so that the figure appeared to have two legs already.
"Wait, since when was that first leg there?"
"Since your last letter."
"But I never got that many wrong."
"I don't know, you might be having memory problems now. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Krys said, calming herself down. "Anyways, is there a D?"
D was the fourth and seventh letters.
"J?"
"Wrong." Pan put a horizontal line in the middle of the hangman to make arms. "Game over."
"But aren't you supposed to put the arms on one at a time?"
"Yes."
"Then what was that?"
"I put them on one at a time though, are you out of your mind?"
"Fine," Krys said with a dejected sigh. "What even was the word?"
"Fwhdgads."
"I'm sorry, may you repeat yourself?"
Pan filled in the remaining spaces. The word there was FWHDGADS.
"Like I said," Pan said. "The word was Fwhdgads."
Pan swore that he never saw Krys as angry as she was this day, and is currently happy he even survived her fury.
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"Is Fwhdgads a word?" Cultro asked Apsconditum a strange question.
"I think it might be," was Apsonditum's response. He honestly didn't know.
"Yo guys!" The door burst open and Amare walked in. She currently looked like a human with long red hair and sparkling blue eyes. "Spyin' on peeps again?"
"Yep," Cultro replied with a small blush. "You can come on in if you like?"
"Maybe later. I just wanted to ask Apsconditum if he knew some sort of breast growth spell."
"Does a shapeshifter even need a spell like that?" Apsconditum pointed out what should've been obvious to Amare, but the girl clearly didn't think about it.
"Oh...," Amare said as she felt dumb for not thinking about that. "In that case is there a way for me to change the size of other people's breasts?"
"Maybe, ask Mamila, the goddess of Boobs, Breasts, and other Mammary Matters."
"Thanks!" Amare left and closed the door.
"Alright," Apsconditum said with a hint of excitement. "Let's see the next one."
The randomize function was activated yet again, this time targeting a human with brown hair talking to a girl with blonde hair.
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"Mitchelle," the random guy with brown hair that was seen above this line said. "I have something to say."
"W-What is it?" Her voice wavered and a blush started to form on her face.
"These past few years have been the happiest in my life. Ever since I've met you I have always enjoyed your company, and the moments I've enjoyed with you were the happiest moments in my life. I want to be able to enjoy the rest of my life with you in it, so there is one thing I want to ask you."
He went down on one knee and pulled out a box.
"Will you marry me?" The guy said it in the sweetest voice he could muster while opening the box. Mitchelle smiled and blushed as she gave her reply.
"No."
The guy that currently still has no name looked up a bit confused and maybe had a small tear in his eye.
"I mean," Mitchelle started to say. "Where do I even begin? Maybe I can start with how you're ugly? You are the ugliest person I know anyway so that should be obvious."
The dude was sad and confused; mostly sad but a bit confused.
He hurt himself in confusion.
"You suck, in multiple ways. I mean look at you! You're 35 and don't have a fucking job! You drink way too much and still owe me 300 genty! Look at how horrible you look as well. It's not like your looks are all I care about but I still can't get over how ugly you are!"
The tears spread even more.
"You're ugly, rude, hardly ever bother to shower, and the worst guy I've ever dated. At least you've treated me to free dinner, so I wouldn't call you the scum of the universe just yet. But basically, you are scum." She left with an angry yet seemingly satisfied expression while the guy that still has no name wept on the floor and others crowded around impressed at her roast.
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"Well damn," Cultro said.
"That guy might as well quit dating at that point," Apsconditum said.
"Wait, how long have we been here? I have a date to get to!"
"You're still going on your date right after seeing that?"
"Well, I've got time to spy on one more person."
"Okay then."
Apsconditum activated the randomize function, this time showing two humanoid figures in a dark room. One was in a black cloak while the other only had shorts. They had skin that looked like a mix of dirt and dead leaves in color, bright eyes with horizontal slashes for pupils, and spider-like legs on their backs. One had a crystal ball on his lap and was staring at two humanoid figures in a dark room. One was in a black cloak while the other only had shorts. They had skin that looked like a mix of dirt and dead leaves in color, bright eyes with horizontal slashes for pupils, and spider-like legs on their backs. One had a crystal ball on its lap and...
"GODDAMMIT! NOT AGAIN!"