"Please can I do it just once?"

"For the hundredth time, no."

"But the farmer-"

"Would probably prefer you don't do that."

"Stercus," Pan said. "What do you think about this?"

"About what?" A tired Stercus kicking a rock by a tree decided to look at what happened.

"You see that farmer I picked up with my attack earlier?"

"Yeah, what about him?"

"Don't you think he looks nice?"

"Um maybe, for a farmer maybe?"

"Yeah, he looks quite fuckable." Pan licked his lips in a creepy way.

"So... is this it?"

"Yeah. Isn't that ass beautiful, with thighs so great tha-"

"Lame," Stercus walked away with a disappointed face. "Who would want to do that?"

"Young Stercus!" Pan let a few manly tears out of his eyes. By a few, I mean 500 per minute.

"Give it up," Krys said. "You shouldn't just do the snu snu on every random person you see."

"I don't do that, I have standards. Also, why did you call it the snu snu?"

"There's a child here, you should care about your inappropriate speech for once."

"I'm sure the guy already knows what it is."

"What's a snu snu?" Stercus asked, clearly no knowing what it was.

"Pan," Krys explained. "You know how bad your reputation has become due to this behavior right?"

"What's a snu snu?"

"I can't help that," Pan replied. "People will naturally judge me for who I am whether I do this or not. So let me have a chance to do it if it won't change anything."

"What is a snu snu?"

"I'm sure it would change something."

"A snu snu is what?"

"Not much. Besides, I do kinda want a reward for saving your asses back there."

"A snu snu is what?"

"Well, I can reward you, but not with sex."

"Is snu a snu what?"

"Not like I'd want sex from you, yours is the worst I've had in years."

"What snu a snu is?"

"Hey! That hardly even counts as sex considering the circumstance!"

"Is snu snu what a?"

"Come on. It was 100% consensual, pure sex. Not only was it consensual, you even consented! You were just bad at it."

"Snu is a what snu?"

"Let's not get off track here. If you decide to not fuck the farmer I will buy you anything you want."

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

"Is snu a what snu?"

"Would you buy me a prostitute?"

"Snu snu a is what?"

"Well, it's better than doing the snu snu with a farmer, so it's a deal."

"What is a snu snu?"

"Okay, deal."

"What's a snu snu?" Stercus asked.

"Nothing important," Krys replied. "Come on Sterc, let's go."

The trio continued on their jabberwocky hunt. As they walked and walk they managed to run into a few packs of jabberwocky and kill them on the spot. It had been a few days, but everyone has shown notable improvements.

"Hey Krys," Pan asked. "How many more packs do we need to do?"

"I think just one more should be okay," she replied.

"Well there is one right there, so I guess we're practically finished."

"Wait a moment," Stercus said. "I want to try something."

When he was bored earlier Stercus decided to take a peek into Ignis's book of spells. There he realized there were even more gun-based spells than just the machine gun. Stercus decided to take the most interesting spell of the bunch: the fire sniper rifle spell.

Fire Sniper Rifle

Requirements: Knows Fireball, STR 1+

Effect: Shoots out small but fast fire bullet

Power is determined by STR stat

Power is doubled if the target doesn't see the attack happen

Can only be used once every two hours

He pointed his right index and middle fingers to the sky and grabbed his right hand with his left as if he were forming a gun with his hands. He brought them down and pointed them to the pack of jabberwocky. As he did so red magical energy was seen forming between the two fingers.

"Fire," Stercus whispered, which caused the magic between his fingers to rumble as if it couldn't contain itself.

"Sniper Rifle!" The resulting shot was a bit much for Stercus, pushing him back a bit. The bullet he made did cleave through the air like a jetplane and eventually found itself slicing cleanly through many of the jabberwocky. The sudden influx of heat was too much for them, making the jabberwocky in the middle of the pack explode.

"Not bad young Stercus," Pan commented. "Was overall excellent, though you did make it clear it was your first time. I'll give you a 9 out of 10."

"Thanks, old Pan," Stercus replied.

The jabberwocky were clearly not amused.

"Guys," Krys said. "I think they are coming towards us."

"Of course they would be," Pan replied. "Who wouldn't come seeking revenge after their friends got completely demolished by a surprising and unprovoked act of terrorism?"

"I wouldn't," Stercus said.

"I know who I'm not trusting with my life now," Krys replied in a somewhat worried manner. Anyways, let's move!"

Well, they didn't actually move from where they were standing. Krys shot some more lightning arrows at the pack while Stercus fired even more fireballs. Meanwhile, Pan just sat there and watched.

"Well," Pan said. "It doesn't look like anything could go wr-"

"Don't say that!" Krys replied. "When you say that everything starts to go wrong!"

"When you say what?" Asked Stercus.

"That nothing could go wrong!"

"But didn't you just say that?"

"The way I said it was different, right?" Krys started to wonder if that was really true.

At that exact moment, a brick with a yellow sticker on it zipped through the forest and hit her straight on the back of her head, knocking her out.

"I guess those stickers do work," Pan stated the obvious upon close inspection.

"Cool!" Stercus picked up the brick and threw it. It went about a foot away before coming back and landing in his hand again. "Where are the other stickers?"

Pan looked down and the excited Stercus bobbing up and down like a puppy.

"I don't know," he replied. "Didn't you use them on some pebbles earlier?"

Stercus's excited face became a confused face.

His confused face became one of understanding; finally realizing what had happened.

That face became a face of fear.

The face of fear became one of despair.

The face of despair slowly turned into a face of cold acceptance.

"Pan," Stercus said, his head low and spirits lower. "What is death like?"

"I don't know," Pan replied. "Why?"

Pan then saw what appeared to be a large cloud of pebbles flying towards Stercus.

"Will I ever see a gun after I die?"

----------------------------------------

General Info Stats Spells

Name: Stercus Pauls STR 33 Ignis Gloriae Age: 13yrs 25days SPE 31 (+20) Fireball Fire Sniper Rifle HP: 38/38 INT 28 Level: 11 DUR 29 (+20) Exp: 20/2048 LCK 26 Spells Known: 2 MGE 34 Armor: Malice's Heart (+20 DUR, +20 SPD) CHR 7