Novels2Search

Cave 3

"Get me a familiar Diamond," Stercus said, tugging onto Diamond's arm and pointing at a butterfly in the distance. "Maybe something like that over there!"

"Now now," Diamond said. "Slow down a bit. Don't go too far ahead of everyone now."

The two were just a small distance out of Danlgne, but the place was surrounded mostly by forest anyway so it appeared as if they were in the middle of nowhere. They weren't lost though; there was a well-known cave they would encounter in that direction after all. In no way, shape, or form would they be lost.

"Yeah, but do we have to bring Diamond along?" Pan comes near, clearly discussing something with Krys. "He doesn't seem too powerful."

"That's ridiculous," Krys said, following along. "He's so strong, I bet no attack would even touch him in there!"

"Yeah, but what if he wants a cut of the reward?"

"There's no way he'd want it," Stercus said, clearly eavesdropping shamelessly. "I mean according to what I heard Diamond is so nice that he wouldn't ask for any bit of the reward. Right Diamond?"

"Well," Diamond said, thinking about how he would love to have some of the rewards. "I mean..."

At that point, Pan grabbed the guy by the head and pointed a sharp tree branch into his neck.

"Look kid," Pan said. "I don't know what you did but if you even try Krys here would probably give you every penny in her pocket. As the one sane man keeping her in check I must ask that you respectfully decline any payment or else." Pan pointed that stick straight into his neck.

Wanting to join in on the fun Stercus decided to also grab Diamond by the head and pointed his sword towards his neck.

"I heard you were so nice you would never ask for a reward," Stercus said with a happy go lucky voice. "RIGHT DIAMOND?"

"Y-Yeah," Diamond said, covered in sweat and his voice shaking. "I don't want any money at all."

"Okay," Pan said, letting him go. "You can let him go now Sterc."

"But this is fun," Stercus complained with a pouting face. "Can't I continue for a little bit longer?"

"Please don't," Diamond said, quivering. "Please don't."

"Fine," a disappointed Stercus said as he sheathed his sword and walked away.

"How did Krys even allow this? I thought she supposedly loved me?"

"We had to take care of her," Pan said suspiciously.

"What do you mean by that exactly?"

"Tie her up, tape her mouth shut, blindfold her, and then throw her off to-"

"He just waited until she was distracted," Stercus said. "She's talking to Veritas right now."

At that moment Krys, Scitus, and Veritas walked into the scene. Scitus was saying something to them about how the best way to kill someone is to strike the heel or something before noticing Stercus.

"Assistant," Scitus said as she ran up to him. "I saw a really cool tree back there! Wanna see?"

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Before Stercus could say yes Scitus grabbed his hand and dragged him over to a large tree. It appeared to be normal, so normal that a small lizard even climbed up and a few birds landed on its branches. That impression was practically destroyed when large mouths appeared under the place those animals were resting and swallowed them whole.

"So cool," Stercus said. "Hey, Krys? What kind of tree is this?"

"It looks like the common mimic," Krys said. "Just one disguising itself as a tree."

"Oh, like the one that killed my brother?"

"Yeah, like the... may you repeat that?"

Stercus's eyes went dark. His head lowered. His aura changed to that of absolute edginess, more so than Veritas's did earlier.

"My brother," he said. "He always wanted to become a god one day, yet before he could ever achieve his dream a mimic ended his life early. In order to honor his memory, I will become the god that he was never able to be."

"I never knew your brother died," Krys said, patting his head. "Are you alright?"

"No need to worry," Stercus said, his aura returning to normal. "It's been a while so I'm over it now. Although you should've seen me after it happened. I think I cried for two months on end. Quite a quick recovery time compared to most of my family, especially my dad. I think he might still be upset to this day! Weird huh?"

No one laughed at his attempt to joke about it.

Krys just looked more concerned for him than before. Scitus mumbled something as if trying to say something or the other. Pan stayed silent, knowing this wasn't his place to speak. Veritas and Diamond weren't even listening and just eyed each other the entire time.

"Well, what about this cool tree here? I want something like this as a familiar Diamond," Stercus said to try and change the subject as quickly as possible. Clearly, his Veritas impression wasn't getting the attention he wanted.

"Oh, that?" Diamond looked at the carnivorous tree with no regard to what happened earlier. "Do you have a spellbook for Zoo's spells?"

"I don't think so. Do you have Krys?"

"No," she replied.

"Well, the best way to get familiars would be to use one of those spells. Quite unfortunate we didn't bring one."

"Oh," Stercus said dejectedly.

"On the bright side, I'll allow you to ride F- my kitsune to the cave."

"Yay!" Not a hint of sadness remained as he climbed onto the back of the large kitsune while the slime and zombie thought about their irrelevancy. "It's so fluffy!"

"Yeah," Veritas said. "Too bad the owner is a piece of shit."

"Can't you at least filter your words to something nicer?" Diamond asked that honestly. "Maybe say I'm not the greatest instead of a piece of shit."

"The god of truth only speaks the truth."

"Not even a less hurtful truth?"

"Why would I call Daemonium anything less than a piece of shit exactly?"

"Well," Diamond said, thinking about what to say as he held his zombie back from attacking. "What if you were the piece of shit?"

"That would just make you the old piece of gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe."

"Veritas!" At that moment an enraged Krys made her best Super Saiyan impression as she stomped towards this so-called god here. "I will not allow you to call him a piece of shit anymore. He is kind, thoughtful, and strong! The only piece of shit here is you!"

"Seriously," Veritas groaned. "Why defend him so much? I mean if you love him this much why not marry him already?"

"Marry!?" Krys's face went a bright red as she fidgeted around like a lovestruck schoolgirl. "I mean he is certainly handsome and dreamy and strong, so I would love to of course. I mean I don't think I deserve him personally but if he's okay then mayb-"

"Oh I see," Veritas said. "The only thing that could love that piece of shit is another piece of shit of course!"

It took three humans, a zombie, a kitsune, and a 'human' to hold her down that day.

After tying her up so that she wouldn't cause a ruckus the group continued on their way to the cave.

"Is it just me," Pan said. "Or are we walking for much longer than usual?"

"MMMNNPH LLMMMTH," Krys yelled with her mouth taped up.

"I haven't been here much so I don't have any idea," Veritas said.

"HHHMMMMMMPTH!"

"Maybe Krys knows where we are," Stercus said, removing the tape.

"GET THE FUCK BACK HERE YOU DIRTY SHITBAG! YOU CAN'T JUST INSULT THE GREAT DIAMOND LIKE THAT AND WALK AWAY YOU FUCKING PUSSY! GET OVER HERE AND FIGHT ME YOU STUPID CUNT!"

"She doesn't know," Stercus said, putting the tape back on.

"MMMMMMMMMPH!"

"I hear something," Scitus said. "Are we near the cave?"

"Scitus," Diamond said calmly. "Does a cave sound like a waterfall?"

"Of course! After all the echoes create the sound of large amounts of water crashing an-"

"Nevermind. The important thing here is that we're not next to the cave. This is a river."

Indeed they were in front of a river, which was in the exact opposite direction of the cave.

"Wow. I knew you were shit but didn't realize it applied to your sense of direction as well," Veritas said.