"So," Stercus said. "What's the first quest?"

"First is this one where some lady wants to teach her kid how to read," Scitus replied. "You know how to read right?"

"Yep. I can do that one easily. Can you read?"

"Nope. It's not needed with someone as smart as me. I can tell what the person wanted thanks to the picture on the paper."

It was a picture of a dragon killing some warriors.

"Dragons start with the 'duh' sound, and the 'duh' sound is made by a letter in the alphabet. And since you read the alphabet it is clearly a quest about reading!"

"But it says on it that it's a fetch quest to deliver 10 dragon scales."

"That's clearly just some code to make sure only intelligent people are sent to help."

You think this would alert Stercus that this person wasn't so smart, but Stercus wasn't so smart either.

"Amazing," he said. "I would've never guessed."

"Just go to the house with blood on its roof for some reason," Scitus said as she pointed to a dreary and suspicious house on Elm Street with blood splattered on the roof. The atmosphere around it was so dark and spooky you could almost hear the dramatic music and lightning strikes behind it.

Not like these kids could read that atmosphere and realize it was supposed to be scary.

Stercus skipped over to the door of the house and knocked on it without any hesitation. The scary music and lightning strike happened yet again, this time accompanied by the sounds of the cawing of crows. The door slowly opened as an old, wrinkly woman with green skin and warts and bony fingers like a witch. She slowly stuck her head out the door, showing off her pointed, witch-like nose and big eyes that seem to bounce out of the skull. She wore all black and had a pointed hat, looking kind of like the stereotypical witch.

"Yo," Stercus said as if he were coming up to a friend. "I came to teach your child how to read."

The woman laughed, or should I say cackled.

"Come right in," the woman said. "The child you'll be teaching will be right this way."

Turns out the woman actually did have a child to teach reading to.

Meanwhile, Scitus was closeby and was looking at which quest to do next.

Luck stat created due to special action!

LCK +5

Scitus looked at the new unneeded stat she received. Of all things, why luck? No one actually used that, right?

Anyways, there was no need for a luck stat in Scitus's mind. This is why she had a Stat Distribution spell on her in the first place.

Stat Redistribution

Requirements: N/A

Effect: Takes a value in one stat and places it in another

Can't make any of the original four stats go below 1

If a stat is made to be 0, the stat disappears

You probably didn't need the description here to figure out what it did. Scitus decided to put all of her points into her Strength stat, while completely abolishing the new Luck stat and setting Durability and Speed back to 1.

You may wonder why someone who claims to be intelligent like her pours everything into Strength. Well asides from me now being able to call her the dumb muscle, Scitus had a reason for this. You see, according to her, these stats were a lie. Intelligence was actually a useless stat, and your true brainpower was determined by the Strength stat. Sure everyone disagreed and it made no logical sense and she was shown many things that disprove her hypothesis, but she believed it so it must have been true. That's how it worked right?

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Anyways that was enough distractions, she needed to get back to doing her quests. She looked at one paper with a request for gathering woodland mushrooms and went to the park to pick up trash.

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"Why thank you," the witch-looking lady said. "Say thank you, Tommy."

"Thank you," Tommy said.

"No problem," Stercus said as he walked out of the house.

"Alright Tommy," the witch-woman said. "Time for lunch."

"Okay," the boy said as he ran into the kitchen.

The witch-looking lady was about to follow until she heard a knock on the door. Opening it showed a guy with long blonde hair put in a ponytail, deep blue eyes that showed great experience, and red armor of a grand warrior.

"Excuse me, ma'am," the guy said. "I am Edward, the adventurer who will teach your son how to read."

"How nice," she said. "But unfortunately another adventurer already came to teach my son how to read. Sorry."

The witch lady closed the door on Edward, leaving him outside alone. The guy had hoped to make a quick buck with this quest in order to buy the new sword he wanted, but now it seemed like it was a bit farther away.

Lucky for him he registered for another quest. All he had to do was clean up the park and he'd have enough money to get his sword!

The park was a grassy field with a large trail around it and a small playground in the center. When built the area was advertised as being a clean and environmentally friendly area that was free from the trash of the world. Well, that lasted about a week. The park is now more often completely smothered in some trash than it is clean, and it would look as if it was hit by a Max Ooze from a Dynamax Pokemon. Lucky for Edward here, cleaning the park provided a lot of money to whoever did the quest, so he could end up buying his sword and maybe even 5 more.

That is if it weren't already cleaned by the time he got there.

"It's a bit wet," Scitus said as she rubbed her hands dry. "But I'm sure they won't mind."

Edward sighed and walked back to the guild with a sad look on his face. At least he could still wash the Depravo house.

"Yo Scitus!" Stercus ran into the park with his hand in the air. "I finished that quest!"

"Great," Scitus said. "The next quest is to go wash that house over there." She pointed to a large mansion in the distance.

"Oh," Stercus said as he noticed the house. "That looks like where Pan lives."

"So you know the place. That makes things easier."

The two quickly ran to the Depravo house. While from far it looked like a respectable mansion if one were to get close they'd notice how atrocious it looked. Broken windows, dirty yards, and the surface being covered with who knows what. The house was quite horrible to look at.

"Welcome Stercus," Pan's mom said as she walked out of the house. "Who's the girl with you?"

"Call me Scitus," she said. "I'm his coworker, though you could also call me a partner, ally, friend, or lawyer."

"Lawyer?"

"With someone as smart as me legal businesses are a piece of cake."

"Right... Anyways Stercus, have you and your girlfriend come to clean the house?"

"Yep," Stercus said. "And what's a girlfriend?"

"It's what people call their female friends these days," Scitus said. "I'm your friend and I'm a girl so I'm your girlfriend."

"So that means I have two girlfriends now!" Stercus jumped for joy as he yelled that, causing many of Pan's siblings to peek out the window confused.

"One day," Stercus said. "I'll have a hundred girlfriends. Will you be my girlfriend too Pan's mom?"

If one were to look inside the Depravo house at the moment it would be a wild mess of people rushing outside, spreading rumors, and speculating on what Stercus's harem would look like in the future.

"I'll have to decline," Pan's mom said with a chuckle. "But I'll consider if you help clean the house."

"Alright then." Stercus skipped into the house to grab a bucket and water.

"If we finish cleaning this place," Scitus said. "Will you be my girlfriend as well?"

"Okay." Pan's mom chuckled so much you could swear she was a Saturday morning cartoon villain.

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General Info Stats Spells

Name: Scitus Beescube STR 50 Unus Centum Glacies Species: Human DUR 1 Stat Redistribution Give and Take Ice Swimming Age: 13yrs 123days INT 1 HP: 40/40 SPE 1 Level: 5 Exp: 8/32 Spells Known: 3 Armor: Cursed Anklet