Since you all probably don't care much for a lie, here's the actual backstory.

His actual name is Absconditus, a creeper born in the country of Napaj. Not to be confused with the ones from Minecraft, a creeper is a unique race of shadow person, characterized by reptilian bodies and six spidery limbs attached to their backs. They aren't fairly prominent, being forgotten next to the demons and vampires of the world, but they still have a vast and wide culture. The gods Apsconditum and Cultro from that one intermission from long ago are creepers, not like anyone cares about them anymore but still.

But life was good. Absconditus would run outside to play in lush forests and sunny skies. He would catch bugs with his friends, swim in the lakes, and run around in the great outdoors. The area was devoid of any dangerous predators, all of the nearby plants were safe to eat, and the water was perfectly clean. The place was like a paradise, or at least to Absconditus. Nostalgic memories probably made him forget all about how bad the place could smell sometimes, and the number of insects that would swarm the place in the summer was unbelievable.

But he could still remember the night it all happened. The sun's warm glow blanketed the sky, and he ran home to the smell of his mom's cooking. His dad and younger sister were already at the table, and the four of them sat together and ate a nice and steamy bowl of soup. His dad would often ask him about his day, and he'd tell wild tales about the day's many adventures to both of his parents.

This day was different, however. His dad frowned, stabbing the bowl with his spoon every time he took a scoop, and shaking the table with every bite. His spoon looked less like a spoon and more like a bent metal stick, and the rest of the family simply stared in silence. His mom shivered, his sister tried to look away, and Absconditus didn't notice a thing.

"Yo, papa!" Absconditus lifted his hand and jumped up and about, his eyes fortunately closed so he couldn't see the angry glare coming his way. "You should've been there today, it was amazing! Remember Scalpere, that one short kid? Well, he told me that he knew about some hidden den in the woods and took me to see it. And then-"

"Quiet!" His voice was low, but just that one word was able to stop Absconditus in his tracks. Looking back at his father's eyes, he saw the terrifying glare that gave their species the name of creeper. His father's eyes were like deep black orbs, so black that one wouldn't be surprised if Cthulhu stepped out of them right there. If one were to describe the aura that permeated the area with one word, 'terrifying' would have to be it.

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Absconditus shivered, the ten-year-old boy now recognizing the pressure and desperate to end it quickly. "So," he said, with his voice quivering and wavering out of fear. "Nice weather we're having, don't you think?"

His father smashed his large hand onto the table, cracking it right in half. The spidery limbs on his back stabbed into the ground, and his teeth gnashed and smashed into each other.

"Boy..." He growled, sounding more like a wild animal than an intelligent human being. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Absconditus looked around the room as if he wasn't the only other male character there at the moment. "You mean me?"

"DON'T ACT SMART WITH ME!" The father quickly became animated, leaping into the air and landing right over his son, staring him in the eye. "I've been in contact with your teacher, and it seems like all of this time you've been skipping class!"

This is when Absconditus grew worried. His dad would often brag about his achievements back in school and encourage the boy to do the same. Absconditus couldn't relate. If he had to describe what school was to him in a single word, oppressive, unfair, malevolent, discriminatory, inequitable, dishonest, unreasonable, spiteful, malignant, rancorous, malicious, maleficent, tyrannical, ruthless, and all related synonyms would be fair words for him to use. His father would never listen to his complaints, and so he decided to silently skip. It wasn't like his father would find out...

"Did you really think I wouldn't find out!?" His father seemed insulted. "Did you really think that I wouldn't hear from your teachers that you're skipping?"

"I-I j-just... well..." Absconditus struggled to find the words.

"You just what?"

"I've told you already, I-I just can't stand it there."

His father groaned. "I should've known." He put his hand to his face and stomped away, groaning and sighing with every step. "I shouldn't have raised such a lazy-"

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" Absconditus screamed right back, slamming his hands on one of the remaining halves of an abused table. "What did you say about me?"

"Don't talk back to me! I'm calling you exactly what you are, and that's a lazy, good-for nothing, waste of oxygen of a child!"

"What part of me is lazy!? Tell me!"

"You never wash a single plate, always disappear whenever it's time to handle the laundry, pay your sister to clean your room for you, make your parents do your homework for you..."

This went on for about thirty minutes.

"That doesn't mean I'm lazy!" Absconditus snapped back, having clearly listened to none of it. "I do plenty of work in the forest!"

"Oh you certainly do, those little adventures of yours are such hard work," his father said sarcastically. "None of those even matter!"

"They matter more than school! When will I need to use exponents in the future!? When!?"

"ABSCONDITUS!" This time the voice was from his mother, screaming at the top of her lungs and pointing to the staircase. Her eyes were of a similar abyss to her husband's, like Cthulhu could walk right out. "To bed. We'll talk about this tomorrow.

"But mom-"

"NOW!"

Disappointed, the kid walked upstairs, ending another day.