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Willingness

“I didn’t expect to see you here.” Ann turns around and is surprised to see a familiar face. “Is this seat taken?” Clarissa sits down as Ann is left speechless. She sits there silently paying attention to Clarissa’s every move.

“What are you doing here?” Ann asks on guard.

“Well, I am secretly following a guy and I’m going to arrest him,” Clarissa says pointing to an old man. “You want to help me take him down, just tackle and I’ll cuff him.”

“Are you crazy?” Ann asks stunned while Clarissa laughs.

“You are so easy to fool,” Clarissa laughs as Ann sits tight trying to ignore her. “Come on now, you didn’t think I came here to bully you or something.”

“Look I have a lot on my mind right now so can you please…”

“So does Oscar,” Ann looks surprised at Clarissa’s words.

“What do you mean?” Ann asks as Clarissa ordered a drink and looked at her. Her face though looking stern has a relaxing feature to it. She takes a sip of her drink and then answers.

“I don’t know what’s been going on with him but I know you do. So, I just came to say tell your brother to shake it off, we have work to do,” Clarissa says as Ann continues to stare at her. “You want one?”

“No thanks,” Ann replies holing up a glass of soda.

“I know that,” Clarissa says rolling her eyes. “You really need to stop stressing out. I came here to relax and then I saw you. So I thought two birds, one stone.” Ann decides to ignore her wanting a break from all the drama. “You want to ask me for advise? I don’t know if I want to do that.”

“I don’t need your advise,” Ann replies annoyed.

“Clearly. That’s why you’re here alone just staring into space,” Clarissa’s words leave Ann troubled. “Look, I am not great with words or advise but if you want someone to listen, I guess…I…”

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“You were right,” Ann interrupts Clarissa. Ann orders another drink for herself quickly finishing the one in her hand. She seems hesitant and determined, rehearsing her words before she says it out loud “It’s a crime is a crime and there is no excuse, no matter how much we try and explain it.” Ann then looks Clarissa in the eye and continues, “I’m here alone because I am trying to make peace with that.”

“What’s there to make peace about, just accept it and move on,” Clarissa replies dully.

“How do you do that?” Ann replies.

“You seriously expect me to give you some sort of three-step program or something? Though I understand that’s part of your job,” Clarissa says sarcastically as Ann rolls her eyes. “Can’t you take a joke?”

“Never mind,” Ann replies as she ignores Clarissa once again.

“You can’t just keep feeding into your feelings and then wonder what to do. You know what to do. Now it’s a question, do you want to do what’s right or what you feel.” This was true, Ann knew that and at times she even repeated this statement. Just as Ann is letting these words sink in the women hear someone call out. They look behind and they see Fiona. Ann notices Fiona seems to be looking a lot better and so she gets up and hugs her.

“How are you?”

“I’m ok…doing better,” Fiona says giving a soft smile. “What are you doing here?”

“If you say ‘hanging out with a friend’ I am going to barf,” Clarissa says as she stands up. “Duty calls.” With those words, Clarissa walks away and Fiona looks at Ann.

“Forget her,” Ann says as they sit down. “What are you doing here?”

“Just wanted some fresh air, I spoke to Ben… it wasn’t one-sided this time.” Ann brightens up upon hearing the good news.

“What did he say?”

“Nothing much but…” Fiona says and then pauses. “It’s a start. He was really trying to hear me out and…”

“Give him some time. This is difficult for him too you know.”

“Actually, Ann I am glad I ran into you,” Fiona says as Ann looks at her. “I have never given you a proper apology and I am so sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“Everything,” Fiona replies. “It’s stupid for me to think I have no fault in this but… if it wasn’t for me not only will Scarlet still be here but, you wouldn’t have loved Nicholas.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Ann says defensively. She then takes a deep breath trying to control herself as Fiona speaks.

“Ann, you wouldn’t have met him if it wasn’t for me. And as much as I have my own problems, I can tell you are in turmoil as well. This was emotional for all of us and all because of one decision I made.” The guilt in Fiona’s voice causes Ann to sigh irritably.

“Fiona, let’s just let it go and move past it,” Ann says firmly. “We all have made mistakes and have done stupid things.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Fiona asks noticing a certain change in Ann’s behaviour.