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The Love of a Lazy Potato with Cheats- MCU FanFic
Episode 35- When a Potato becomes the Doctor to keep the Doctor away!

Episode 35- When a Potato becomes the Doctor to keep the Doctor away!

I opened my eyes to see I was back on the sofa lying on it.

"Wow, Nat was right. You look strong but got a very weak heart." Clint tried to joke from across me.

It was dark but there was enough light for me to see.

"Nat?" I asked him once more as I sat up.

"We gave her the best treatment in the world. They said she will be fine after a few months of rest." Clint informed me as I sighed but I didn't trust their doctors. Not because they could be potentially Hydra but because they were incompetent compared to me.

"Nat knew this will happen and told us not to tell you. She wanted to stay in the base, but I made her come here." Clint informed to which I offered a wry smile.

"Anyway, get some rest. She is on medication now and will most likely wake up in the morning." Clint told me.

However, I could not sit here knowing she was upstairs suffering.

"Can I stay with her?" I asked him.

He sighed. "You sure are persistent you know that? Fine, I think she would be happy to see you in the morning instead of worried Lila."

"Thanks." I thanked him.

"Can you stand up?" He asked me.

"I should hope so," I said with a smile as I stood up without much problem and walked upstairs while Clint followed me.

I walked in to see her sleeping peacefully amidst the beeping of the machines. My heart gripped in tightly in pain, but I bore it.

I walked towards her and sat beside her bed and held onto her bruised fingers close to my chest.

"I will be sleeping next door. Call me if you need anything." Clint told me as he left.

'Assess her condition and find any ways to make it better without the use of superpowers.' I ordered my ability.

I stayed by her side and caressed her head until morning watching her sleeping face while my gift looked for ways to treat her.

As morning arrived, I saw her face contort in pain as she woke up. "David?" She was surprised to see me.

"I told them not to tell you." She spoke amidst her pain.

"You think I wouldn't know if you were hiding it?" I asked her which earned a small pain-filled smile from her as I kissed her hands with tears.

"What happened?" I asked her.

"Someone tried to hunt me down to find my escort target. They would have killed me if not for…" She paused for a moment as I saw confusion and worry in her face.

"…The doctors said I was lucky my liver and diaphragm weren't damaged from the bullet's impact." Natasha quickly diverted the topic, but I made sure to remember it.

I sighed at this. "Be careful next time," I told her as I kissed her.

"What makes you think I want to go back?" She asked me.

"I just know, just like how I knew you were hurt," I said with a smile as she looked at me in confusion.

"Bart didn't tell you?"

I shook my head as I placed her hand on my chest. "Heart speaks to heart." She smiled hearing that as she felt the pounding of my worried heart.

*Knock* *Knock*

Laura came in with some tablets. "Good morning Nat, David." She greeted us as Nat looked at her with a smile.

"I think you were right when you insisted to not tell him," Laura said as she looked at the both of us.

"Why?" Nat asked in confusion.

"You should have seen him yesterday. He nearly started having a panic attack when he began figuring out something was wrong. Then he fainted as soon as he saw you." Laura smiled as she poured water into a glass.

Natasha looked at me with shock. "Are you ok?" She took my right hand in fear of my wellbeing ignoring her pain from her bruised hand.

"I am fine. You should be more worried about yourself with that bullet wound on your stomach and arm." I told her with a smile as I flicked her forehead.

"Ow!" She let go of my hands and tried to rub her forehead only to stop in pain.

"Sorry." My smile vanished as I rubbed her head to which she began to smile.

"David she needs to take her painkillers," Laura said from behind me.

"Give me a second Laura," I told her as I helped Nat sit up while Laura gave her the tablets and the glass of water.

After helping her lie back down I looked at the names of the tablet while Clint came in with some fluid bags to replace on the machines. "I need to examine you," I told Nat after looking at the tablet.

"Why?" She asked curiously.

"Simply because I don't trust in other people's judgement on your treatment plan, especially with this kind of medicine," I stated.

Nat just looked at me with an open mouth. "What?" I asked her.

"I didn't know you had a medical background," Clint said from behind me.

"He doesn't," Nat replied for me looking still shocked while Clint looked at me amazed.

"What? I told you I was a genius rivalling Tony Stark." I said with a smug grin trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh, speaking about that playboy, he is alive and has been rescued by the US military from Afghan," Clint informed all of us.

"Damn! Here I was hoping they would never find him." Natasha cursed to which I just laughed along with Clint while Laura looked at us in confusion.

"Tony once tried to …" I explained to her what happened between me and Tony as I began examining her wounds.

"Wow Nat, you weren't joking when you said he was a genius were you?" Laura asked with amazement to which I just smiled humbly.

"You finished with the examinations doctor?" She asked me to which I nodded.

"Good because I am hungry." She grumbled.

"No solid food until your stomach is healed," I told her only to see her disappointed look. I sighed as I helped Clint replace the fluid bags which will provide nutrients for her.

"Don't worry I will find a way to help you eat solid food soon," I promised her to which she nodded.

Suddenly I received the full knowledge of how to improve her condition along with taking away her pain without putting too much strain on her body, unlike these crap quality medicines of 2009.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"Anyway, I am going to buy some stuff. I need to make a medicine to replace these rubbish life-draining painkillers." I told them as I kissed Natasha's forehead before leaving behind a confused trio.

I went out purchasing a few items I needed even though they were expensive. I had to contact the local black market dealers to receive some of the materials much more quickly.

I brought it all back to Clint's home to begin working on it.

"What is all this junk?" Clint asked as he came down to see me taking boxes of stuff out from the car.

"You got any place where I could safely mix chemicals?" I asked him to which he nodded.

"Yeah, but it might be easier if you put all the boxes back in the car and drive there." He pointed at the barn that was about 2 minutes' walk.

"Okay." I placed the boxes back in the car as I got in the car with Clint.

"What's in all this?" He asked on the way.

"Some things I am going to use to improve her condition like chemical for developing new medicines etc." I parked the car beside the barn.

"You were serious about that?" Bart looked at me to which I nodded.

"I never joke around with matter relating to her." I stopped the car as Bart got out to open the door.

Soon we began shifting the boxes into the barn one by one. "I presume she is sleeping?" I asked him to which he nodded as we began unboxing.

"You got any spare tables lying around?" He nodded.

"Might need to take your car back to the house." I shrugged my shoulders as I gave him the key.

He came back a few minutes later as I had finished unboxing everything. "These things look expensive." He pointed at the several pieces of equipment.

"Costed me 9 months of restaurant profit." I began putting some stuff on the table.

"I have no idea how much that is but considering your restaurant is a popular place that must be a lot." I nodded at that.

"You had lunch?" He asked as he stood around allowing me to do my thing.

"Grabbed a sandwich on the way," I replied after finally finishing up all the setups.

"Okay I am going to lose myself in work here for the next few hours so don't expect me to respond to any of you," I told him to which he nodded.

"Before that can you answer a question for me?"

"Sure." I looked at him.

"Did anyone see you coming here?" He asked in worry.

"I noticed a few people following me in New York, so I took plenty of diversions to lose them before I bought my tickets in cash at the airport reception." Bart sighed in relief.

"That's good. Looks like you learned quite a lot from her." I smiled hearing that.

"Hopefully one day Lila can learn to shoot just like you." I complimented him back, to which he grinned while I began wearing a mask to stop the intake of chemicals.

"Anyway, I will be in the house. Shout for me if you need anything. Also, how dangerous are these chemicals?" He asked in concern.

"It will be better if you don't let Lila anywhere near here for the next few hours. Or she is going to feel very sick for the next 2 weeks." I warned him to which he nodded eagerly as he left.

I started processing the chemicals using my ability to get the exact measurement right.

5 hours later in front of me were 4 bottles of chemicals; anyone in the world would pay billions to acquire these babies for their potential uses.

I stretched myself as I grabbed the bottles and went back home just in time to see Clint coming out of the door wearing a scarf over his face.

"Oh, I was just coming to fetch you since Nat is awake and wanted to see you." He said while his eyes looked at the 4 bottles in my hand.

"That stuff safe to breathe in?" He asked in worry to which I smiled as I pointed at my uncovered face causing him to remove his scarf.

"That's great." We both went up to Nat's room to see her talking with a worried Lila.

"Good evening Lila." She smiled as she saw me to which I smiled back.

"Good evening uncle Dave. Dad said I can't come to visit you in the barn." She grumbled to which I chuckled.

"I was doing some dangerous things in there Lila. You would have been hurt if you came in." I nodded at her as I placed the bottles on the desk.

"Lila, have you finished your homework?" Bart asked causing her to whine.

"Go and finish your homework then you can talk with Aunt Nat." He got her out of the room seeing I wanted to ask Nat something.

"How are you?" I asked as I sat by her before kissing her forehead.

"Painful but years of tolerating pain makes it easier to bear it with painkillers." She smiled as she grabbed my hands.

"I am going to reopen your bullet wounds and stitch them back together again. Will you allow me to do it?" I asked her.

"You what!?" Clint cried in shock.

"Re-open the stitch and do a better job than your half-assed doctors." I pointed at the stitch.

"I thought you were making a medicine to help alleviate her pain." Clint shook his head.

"How confident are you?" Natasha asked me.

"100%," I told her confidently.

"Okay, then I am fine with it." She nodded as she looked at Clint.

"No, you are not fine with anything. First of all, it is not you but painkillers talking so you have no say in this." He pointed at Natasha who rolled her eyes.

"2nd of all, ignoring the fact that the process is going to be bloody how are you going to do it without anaesthetic to numb her?" He pointed at Natasha.

"Got that covered." I smiled as I pointed at the bottles with the different coloured chemicals.

"The best disinfectant before surgery, the best anaesthetic in the world for her surgery, a special chemical that will help her get better faster and start eating solid food which has to be used inside her wounds and the best painkiller for after surgery." I labelled each of the chemicals.

Clint's eyebrows twitched. "I am not going to ask how you made all these in a few hours."

"Good because it will be a pain in the butt to explain the chemical reaction." I grinned.

"I am still not on board with you performing the surgery. You have got no medical practice at all." He pointed at me.

"The doctors around here are barely good enough to perform this surgery, you probably don't want shield doctors here in your secret home and 3rd of all I am really a good surgeon just haven't got the chance to perform a surgery." Natasha laughed hearing the last part while Clint had an annoyed look.

"We can move her to a place that is far away from my home before inviting shield doctors." He pointed out.

"At which point it will re-open her wound from moving too much." I pointed at her wounds.

We spend the next few minutes arguing back and forth before Clint reluctantly agreed. "Okay, you better go and eat something before we start. This is going to be a long surgery." I informed Bart who looked at me in confusion.

"Wait what? Why do I have to join in the surgery?" He asked me in confusion.

"You are going to be my helping hand. I can't ask Laura as she isn't probably used to seeing blood and guts, but you are." He sighed before reluctantly walking out.

"Thanks for trusting me." I kissed Nat.

"Who else can I trust if not my genius?" She smiled as I placed her back.

"Although I have to ask how do you know stitching and surgery? The background checks my director did on you never said anything about you having medical skills or the likes." She asked me in confusion.

"Did you guys check my browser history or look up on the books I read while in Uni?" I asked her.

"But… that's impossible. How can someone just learn medicine just from watching some videos and reading books?" She could not believe what I told her.

"People with genius minds works differently I guess." I shrugged my shoulders.

"I figured as much. I have trust in you but don't tell Bart about learning surgery from YouTube." She smiled while I laughed.

"You will admit how great of a boyfriend you got when you wake up tomorrow." I smiled.

"I have always admitted to that." She leaned on my chest.

After a while, I spoke up. "Nat let me go get everything ready for you." She nodded as I helped her back to bed.

I got up and went down to get everything for the surgery from the car.

By the time Clint came back, he saw Natasha lying on the desk knocked out, on top of the plastic cover on the desk and the floor. Along with several machines connected to her.

"I still don't feel alright with this." He began stressing out again.

"Can't we have at least 1 certified and legal doctor watching over the process?" He asked to which I shook my head.

"What kind of certified doctor will allow me to operate on her?" I asked back to which he looked speechless.

"So, you do agree this is illegal." He pointed at me.

"You going to argue the whole night or help me with the process?" I asked back as I got all the surgical tools ready.

"Are you sure about this because I got zero knowledge about surgeries?" He asked seeing the scalpels and me wearing gloves.

"Your only job is to pass me the red bottle and taking it from my hand when I ask you to, along with giving me an update on her pulse every 2 minutes," I assured him.

"Okay! Bottles and pulse. Got it!" He cheered himself while shaking his head in worry as he locked the door to stop Laura or Lila from walking in.

I activated the partial speed and recovery aspect of my HE serum as everything slowed down before me. This way I would be in top condition throughout the surgery.

'Calm mind' I activated calm mind.

'Perform the surgery perfectly using all the knowledge I have.' I ordered my 2nd rooted potato which took control of my body and began.

I began wiping the disinfectant on her stitch before reopening it. "The red bottle with the nozzle." I stretched out my arms as I saw her stomach which was stitched together.

The special chemical was a reagent that will hold together and support the ripped apart organs and tissues until it recovered on its own after which the reagent would slowly dissolve harmlessly from the body.

I carefully held onto the perfectly stitched stomach and began applying the reagent skilfully as if I had done this 1000's of times before while Clint kept reporting her pulse to me every 2 minutes from the machines.

After finally finishing I stitched her stomach together before applying the reagent on her stitches as well.

"The abdomen is done," I informed him to see him sigh.

"Now the right arm." I moved onto her right arm and repeated the same process of applying the reagent after reopening her wounds.

"Done." I removed my mask and gloves as I took control back off my body as I switched off HE.

"See I told you I am an awesome surgeon." I boasted in front of Clint who nodded as he sat down on the bed relaxing.

"How are you so good at surgery?" He asked me.

"Watched some videos and read some books," I told him to see his eyes opening wide awake.

"She told me not to tell you," I told him before he could open his mouth.

"I give up." He sighed in defeat before walking out.

"Hey, at least help me clean up." He ignored me as he shut the door behind him.

I sighed as I moved Nat carefully to the bed before administering the painkiller I made for her.

I began changing her clothes as I hooked Nat up to the monitoring device.

'Thankfully, she will be able to eat starting tomorrow.' I thought in happiness as I got next to her in bed.