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The Love of a Lazy Potato with Cheats- MCU FanFic
Episode 34- A Potato a day keeps a Doctor away!

Episode 34- A Potato a day keeps a Doctor away!

Tony decided to follow me after a while probably trusting the call, he had with Pepper a few minutes ago.

"Oi genie hold onto your lamp for a minute!" He said before he quickly walked back to the cave and started setting fire on all his company weapons.

He quickly got out of range of those explosions and came to me.

"Off you go Alladin's bitch." I shrugged with a chuckle.

We walked back in silence before I started hearing him pant heavily. "Lose the tin suit Mr Stark or you will die of dehydration."

"Aren't you supposed to make sure I don't die, smurf?" He asked annoyingly.

Smurf? Oh blue colour like a genie.

"I will do that, so get out of your PJ's, princess Jasmine."

"As if I will listen to you ugly face-hugger." He ignored me and kept walking. Face hugger for probably changing my face. I have to say he watches too much movies.

Needless to say, a few minutes later he collapsed after being dehydrated and probably suffering heatstroke.

I sighed and ripped the armour off and put him on my shoulder and started running to my car with him.

We arrived within 40 minutes due to me having to make sure not to travel too fast to kill the weak Tony.

I tapped on my face to change it to Mr Random while switching of the magnetic interference field.

I placed him on the seat and fed him some water while connecting him up with the emergency fluid I bought just for this scenario. "Where are we?" He asked after waking up a few minutes later.

"On the way towards the airport where I will drop you off with the local US Military, while I get my flight back home," I told him.

He sat up and rested back before he realised something as he felt his chest. "Wait where is my armour?"

"Back where you fainted," I told him to which he just shrugged his shoulders and sat back to rest.

"How much did Pepper pay you?" He asked me as we began moving off.

"Ask that to Ms Pepper, Mr Stark," I told him he looked seriously pissed by my short and snappy answers.

"Anyway, when you are questioned about who took you to the airport say 'Jack of All Trades'. No more no less. If anything, more comes out then I myself will be giving every terrorist organisation in the world your companies weapons blueprint." I warned him.

"Whatever Scaredy Smurf." He said as he laid back to rested after drinking some water too tired to make any remark.

After arriving 30 minutes' drive away from the airport I got out of the car.

"I have pinged the American troops to this location, they will arrive within 2 minutes. Call me should you ever need help with anything related to poisoning." I said as I looked at his arc reactor which earned glance of confusion from him.

"See you back in New York," I said as I walked towards the crowd and melded between them.

A few minutes later I watched as Armed units ran through the crowd with their guns and aimed at Tony after having received a signal that someone was hacking their system from the location they were all converged on.

However, seeing it was 'The Tony Stark' who have been kidnapped they quickly called in reinforcement for medical attention.

As Tony was being carried away, he saw me in the crowd and mouthed 'Fuck you asshole' to me.

I could have wasted my time entertaining that playboy but I got better things to do.

I just smiled and wore the mask of Gary before taking my flight back to India.

Leaving the Indian Airport I made my way towards a company which I had offered to help. Every lie needs a sentiment of truth after all.

I made sure to keep my calm mind active during all-day lest I suffered a mental break down. Killing people wasn't exactly easy thing to cope.

I occasionally deactivated my calm mind to feel the full emotion rolling through me as the realisation hit me, I had taken lives. However, I slowly got over it very quickly with the occasional help of my calm mind being activated and deactivated in short rapid sucession.

Calm mind was great like this. It helped push down these emotions for me to deal with later. I will deal with the emotions of killing people later, not now.

After 2 days I took my flight back to New York.

I came back home to see Bruce in his rabbit hole inside the lab.

"Ready to go back?" I asked him only for him to nod as he ran some test on the screen.

"I will join you later." He waved at me.

He is probably going to be in there for a while.

I shrugged and instead went to the store on my own.

"Might as well try doing it on my own." I shrugged before I opened the door to store.

I looked at the shield database later that night to see Nat was in Iran trying to escort someone out of the country.

I decided to make things easy for her like I occasionally did, to see her sooner.

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[Natasha PoV- Odessa]

*Bang* "How much longer?" A man in his late 30's asked me as I kept swerving the car to not give them an accurate shot.

"You guys there?" I asked through my communication device.

"My Gloria better be in pristine condition when I come up, Agent Romanoff!" A voice came through my communication device.

"Whatever Tom!" I rolled my eyes.

"For the last time my name is not Tom but..." I didn't let him finish whining.

"We are here!" I grinned as I pressed on the brake drifting close to the cliff just as 2 military choppers came up.

"Adios!" I smiled as the choppers began open firing causing the chasing vehicles to retreat.

Only 3 out of 7 vehicles managed to survive under the assault of the guns.

"Come on. We haven't got all day." I got out of the door along with the nuclear scientist who sighed in relief seeing the choppers.

"What have you done to my sweet Gloria?" A man in shield uniform pointed at the car I was driving.

"You should have made it bulletproof." I retorted back.

"It's a luxury car not one fit for missions." He cried but I ignored him as I got into the chopper.

"You need to find a girl!" I stated.

"You don't understand a man's romance. Cars are everything for us." I rolled my eyes as I remembered a certain person saying the complete opposite to me a few days ago.

"This way please." We got into the chopper and headed back to a safe point from where we could catch a flight back to New York.

I couldn't wait till I got home.

The Red Room was wrong. Emotional attachment was great source of strength to complete missions. Since David has come into my life I have been completing all my missions with higher efficeincy.

To see him was the greatest source of my strength behind every mision. It enabled me to complete all my missions much more efficiently.

If I could see those fuckers I would put a bullet through their heads for what they took away from David and me.

'Focus!' I told myself.

I wanted to call or text David now but I was in a mission and distractions were fatal during missions that much was correct in what they taught us and that was where I drew the line between the Red Room's ideaology and emotional attachments.

But just 1 text wouldn't cause any harm, would it?

"You seem awfully excited to return home early." My escort target pointed out.

"I have got plans." I smiled as I held onto my necklace. 'Whenever you miss me just hold onto that necklace.' I remembered his words.

"Thanks for getting me out of there." I was broken from my thoughts again by my escort target.

I smiled. "No problem."

I kept debating with myself for a while before I decided not to text him. 'I can see you in a few hours.' I smiled.

"Touch down in 90 seconds." The pilot called out.

"Good luck." Tom wished as both as we got out of the chopper.

"See you back at the base Tom," I stated as we moved to the car that was prepared for us.

"How many times do I have to tell you my name is not Tom!" He shouted back from the chopper but I ignored him as I went with the scientist.

*Boom**Boom* I jumped forward with the scientist protecting him as I felt the heatwave hitting my back.

"You ok?" I asked him to see he was barely conscious.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

Unholstering my gun I lifted him up as I looked around to see who had fired the shot at the choppers.

"Fuck!" I cursed as I saw a tall burly man with long hair walking forward-moving the RPG to his back while he took out a semi-automatic rifle from his back.

"What the fuck!" I cursed as I saw shotguns, rifles and an RPG in his back.

Before he could fire I began firing I moved with the scientist to the car. "Agent Romanoff report!" I heard Maria asking through the comms.

"Choppers gone bust from an RPG from an unidentified target. Mercenary most likely but I don't recognise him." I pushed the scientist into the car while I hid behind the cover and return fired.

"Backup will arrive in 10 minutes. Think you can hold off?" Maria asked in worry.

"I got a Glock, and he has got a whole armoury on him.

How he is moving so smoothly with all that weight I have no idea. So, you better hurry Agent Hill!" I shouted as I tried to find a gap to get in and drive off from his assault.

"Uhh!" His left arm suddenly dropped limply by his side while he was loading his gun.

"Wait he has got a metal arm!" I shouted in shock as I used his state of shock to quickly climb into the car and drive off.

Looking through the rear mirror I saw he was attempting to get another weapon from his back but couldn't with one arm.

"Hill I am going under the radar until we arrive back in New York.

Try not to inform anyone other than Fury about what went wrong." I spoke to Hill.

"You don't think…?"

"How would he have known about our exchange point?" I asked her.

"Very well I can lie to others, but Fury will know."

"That's fine with me." I threw my ear comms out of the car.

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[David PoV]

From the shield database, I knew she was extracted safely along with her target. I looked up the mission as I felt a familiar nostalgia as I read her mission report.

It was to escort a nuclear scientist out of Iran.

Feeling something wrong I had decided to keep a close eye on her.

*Beep* I received an alert on my watch in the middle of the night. 'Nat in danger!' My UI reported on my watch.

I quickly jumped out of bed and grabbed my phone. "Show me the situation!'

Suddenly a hologram popped up from the nearby camera's in the airport giving me a live feed of what was happening there.

Bucky firing off an RPG at the choppers taking them down.

Without wasting time I activated the speed of HE(Hulk and Extemis) serum. I quickly ran down and grabbed my laptop to try and remotely hack into his arm as I saw him firing onto Natasha.

"Come on. Change your magazine bastard!" I waited for him to take time to change his magazine while locking my satellite at him.

If worst comes to worst I won't care he is mind-controlled. I will kill him!

Luckily he ran out of bullets and began changing magazines. "Fry it!" I shouted at my UI which fried his cyber arm.

"Don't do anything foolish and run Nat!" I prayed and luckily my prayer was heard as I saw her driving off to my relief.

I finally remembered why I felt something wrong with Nat's mission.

From the movies, Nat had stated that Bucky shot a bullet through her stomach to kill her escort target in Odessa. But due to my helping hand, she had managed to evade Bucky in time to not encounter him in Odessa and safely manage to extract with the scientist.

However, seems like he was adamant in completing his mission and tracked them down to their exchange zone.

I heard through her communication device as she stated how she was going under the radar.

It looks like even Hydra won't easily find her now. Looks like my beautiful red-headed spy will have her perfect track record.

"Looks like you failed your task Bucky!" I grinned as I watched Nat as long as possible.

I moved the satellite back in position to observe my family.

Nat got rid of her phone and all electrical pieces of equipment on her not long after. Her last location I was able to track down was in France a few hours later with the scientist before my 'eyes' lost track of her again. 'She is fast and good.' I smiled.

I could only believe in her skills from now on until she came back in my radar.

During the first few months in our relation, I would constantly worry about her wellbeing. But I had learned to trust her skills after a while. I wouldn't butt in with her missions unless it was to see her sooner.

So, I just trusted her skills and her ability while simply waiting for her.

This job was seen as a way of redemption for her. She was atoning from her past mistakes through working in the Shield. I wanted her to feel redeemed in her own way. She doesn't have to know it was me who provided her with the occasional sneaky aid.

All the help I provided were a coincidence after all. Like if she managed to grab her targets phone which required a password she would suddenly find the phone doesn't require a password as she turns the phone on. A badge to enter a records room only to later realise that badge didn't have the clearance to that records room but a glitch in the system allowed her to get in.

I waited and 2 days later I received an alert on her as she established her communication with Fury.

I listened in on the conversation at 3 am in the morning.

"Finally!" I smiled in excitement. I couldn't sleep for the rest of the day so I opened the store early to keep myself occupied.

She would probably be back home by 11 am.

Time dragged on and every minute to me felt like hours.

"You are up early. Where is Jeff?" A customer asked me.

"He is gone on holiday." I smiled.

"You really have to stop the irregular opening times." A customer complained to which I just smiled.

I closed the shop at 10 am.

"David, why are you closing so early?" A regular asked me as he saw me going out.

"I have to meet someone." I smiled as I excitedly ran back to her home ignoring the pleading of the customer to make something before I left.

She usually went to her house to get changed before coming to our shop to pick me up. But I didn't want to wait for her and decided to wait for her at her home in order to give her a surprise.

I waited until 11 am and she still wasn't back. "Damn I forgot about her briefing." I rolled my eyes. She usually had to give a detailed report after every mission which usually took a while.

As it became 2 pm I felt things weren't right.

I tried to pick up her last location on her phone to see it was still in the shield headquarters.

Something was wrong. I picked up on the GPS on her necklace to see she was in Clint's home.

I was so confused at this point. She never went there without telling me unless it was for a mission.

I looked up the shield database to see nothing was updated on the mission.

Looking up her profile all it said was. 'Successful surgery. Out of commission until recovered from injury.'

My heart stopped for a second as my mind scrambled.

*Slap* "Focus!" I woke up from my state of shock and read the rest of the report.

'Taken back to her residence by Level 7 Agent Barton at 9 am.' I frowned reading that.

The shield database stated she went back home but instead she went to Clint's house.

I knew something was wrong.

*Ping* I looked at my phone to see an alert.

'5 human signature detected to be monitoring the house.' I sighed. Now I definitely knew something was up. Most likely something related to what happened with Hydra.

I called on Clint's phone but there was no answer.

I switched on the camera I placed inside her necklace to only see the roof of Clint's bedroom.

Guess I have to go there myself.

I took the keys for her car and opened the doors for her garage.

I got in her car before coming out.

"Stalkers are following." My UI instructed me.

"I don't have time for these jackasses.

Lose them and book a flight for me to Missouri," I said in seriousness before a route appeared on my phone.

'Follow the route.' I ordered my gift as navigation appeared on my phone.

I began speeding through the city for the next 30 minutes before I lost the agents tracking me.

I parked at the airport and took the flight to Missouri.

"Arrange a rental car for me to get to Clint Barton's home!" I ordered through my watch as I sat down on my seat.

Arriving at Missouri 7 hours later at around 10 pm I made my way to the car park where I saw someone waiting there. "David Henswick?" The woman asked me.

"The car?" I went straight to the point as I flashed my ID to her.

She pointed at the 2009 Ford F-Series as she smiled at me. "Your keys."

"Thank you." Grabbing the keys and ignoring the woman's attempt to flirt with me I drove off to Clint's home.

"I was stupid!" I berated myself as I drove.

"I should have added monitoring system on her necklace as well to alert me! Why didn't I do that?" I felt like punching myself not being extra careful with Nat.

3 hours later around 1 am I arrived in front of their house. As I drove in front of their house I noticed some movements through Clint's windows.

Getting out of the car I came in front of the door and knocked on it.

The door opened, and I had a gun pointed on my head.

Seeing it was me, Clint sighed and lowered the gun down. "What are you doing here David?" He asked me in confusion.

"Where is Nat? She told me she would be back in a few days." I asked him with trepidation in my heart.

"She is on a mission David. You know how she is during missions?" Clint lied to me.

"Then why didn't you answer my calls?" I retorted.

"Lila was playing around with it. It lost charge and I must not have seen it." He smiled.

"You are lying Bart. You aren't that careless in case your director ever called you in. Natasha always made sure to keep her phone with her at all times." I stated frantically as my heart began pounding while Laura came down from the stairs looking worried.

"Then you point your gun at me! Do you do that to every person who comes to your house late at night?

That means something is definitely wrong. Where is Nat? What happened to her?" I began firing question at him as I began feeling as if I couldn't get enough air to breathe.

"Just relax, will you. I can be careless sometimes, especially with Lila and Laura around. Hence the reason why they say family isn't suited for secret agents." He gave me an awful smile while Laura didn't look too happy seeing Clint lie.

"Why don't you stay here tonight? I will …" I felt it was very difficult to breathe at that moment as my vision blurred.

"David are you ok? David!" Clint caught me as I tried to stabilise myself by holding onto the wall but failed.

"What's happening?" I heard Laura quickly ask Clint in worry.

"I think he is having a panic attack! David stay with me." He said as he slapped my face to make sure I didn't lose consciousness.

"Nat?" I asked.

"Breath slowly. Nat is alright. She is sleeping upstairs." Hearing that I calmed down, but I knew it was worse. Otherwise, they wouldn't have said surgery.

They brought me in and sat me down.

After a few moments, I was stable but my mind wasn't. The only thing I could think of was the word 'surgery' on her profile.

I quickly got up and ran upstairs. "David wait!" Ignoring the shouts of Clint and Laura.

My heart was pounding rapidly as I came in front of the door. Something screamed at me not to open the only door from where I could hear beeping sounds. But I ignored that feeling and opened the door just as Clint came running upstairs.

As soon as I saw her sleeping with a heavy bandage over her stomach, arms and bruised face along with few machines beeping, I lost control.

"David!" I heard Clint shout. That was the last thing along with the beeping of the machines I heard before I blacked out.

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[Natasha PoV- Few hours ago]

After 2 days I had arrived in America with my escort target. I had relocated him to a safe place under a different identity.

I switched my phone back on and called Fury as I got back to my room. "Is our scientist safe?" Fury's voice came through the phone.

"Yeah, I dropped him off at Nevada," I informed back.

"I will send an extraction team for you in 10 minutes. Be careful until then" The phone hung up.

I looked at my phone thinking if I should message David or not. 'Focus Nat! No distraction.' I told myself as I waited.

I began packing up everything.

*Ping* I looked down at my phone in excitement.

'I was told to pick you up!' It was Bart. I was slightly disappointed but at the same time glad it wasn't David.

I can't afford to be distracted until I got back to base.

*Bang* I recoiled back into my bed from the impact. "Ah!" I held onto my right arm which kept pouring out with blood.

'How?' I looked from where the bullet had come from to see it was from behind the door which had a bullet hole.

*Burst* The wooden door of my room flew open as I retrieved my gun while flipping over my bed.

I kept of firing rounds with my good arm from behind the cover. Strangely all I heard was the bullets ricocheting from metal instead of flesh.

'Damn not this guy again.' I cursed as I remembered a certain person with a metal arm from a few days ago. I looked for ways to get out of here.

'The window.' I made up my mind.

Just as I prepared to move off. "Uh!" I felt someone grabbing onto my gun and finger tightly as the gun was ripped off my fingers.

"Where?" His arms tightly locked onto my neck as he lifted me up.

I tried to get out of his grip only to find I couldn't. 'Bart you better hurry!' I cursed as I tried kicking him, but he simply shrugged it off.

He ripped the gun from my left hand and threw it away.

"Where?" He asked me without any sort of life in his eyes.

I ignored the pain from my right arm as I went for his eyes with my right arm only for his metal hand to tightly grab my fingers and began bending it back.

"Where?" I ignored the pain in my finger as I was running out of air at this point however I got the opportunity I needed.

I punched his nose with my left hand with everything I had left in me causing him to let go of my throat and arm.

I didn't bother recoiling in pain as I jumped out of the window from the 2nd floor into the street below.

"Fuck!" I cursed as I felt several of my bones break.

I tried getting up as civilians began curiously looking at what was happening. My vision was very hazy but I knew I had to start running.

*Bang* I could barely make out someone in front of me, but I knew it was him. 'How did he manage to jump from the 2nd floor without any injury?'

"Where?" He pointed his gun at my head with his right arm.

"Sorry, David looks like I am going to leave early." I smiled as I saw him about to pull the trigger as my vision started to become clearer.

Everything began slowing down for me. This was something very familiar to me, something that only happened when I was so close to dying.

Suddenly I saw a person in an orange robe covering their face walking behind the metal arm mercenary before nudging his shoulders.

*Twack* He was pushed forward as he pulled his trigger.

*Bang* I gritted my teeth in pain as I felt the bullet aimed for my head go through my abdomen.

Everything became very unclear from that moment on.

"Natasha, you ok?" I heard Clint's voice along with the voice of other people.

"Don't tell David," I told him with my last strength hoping David, wouldn't come to know. He can't really handle to see me like this even though he acts tough.

Just seeing a bruise on my body after the occasional missions gets him worried even though he acted as if it didn't bother him at all.

I smiled seeing his smiling face in my head before everything became dark.