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The Bartender at the End of the Universe
Ch 64: An Accidental Attack

Ch 64: An Accidental Attack

"I'm telling you; we have to find a way!" Og'drimun put his arm around Death's shoulder as he grinned at him.

You're preaching to the choir bro. But it's just that funky mist out there and some woods.

"Don't forget the carnival." Og'drimun added.

Death grumbled, Wish I could. He looked down at his shirt as he let out a sigh.

"I'm just saying, they've got a bunch of sandbags. Well, those had to come from somewhere, right?" Og'drimun reasoned. "I think we should just follow our noses and stake out a good spot."

Death snapped his fingers. Although, since he was a skeleton, it sounded more like a tree branch scraping against marble. Oh man, I never thought of that! We could just ask Sid about it then. They said he was in charge of that whole thing, right?

Og'drimun put a finger up to Death's mouth. "Whoa whoa, slow down. We can't just let this secret out just yet. We need to get everything ready first."

Uh, but how can we do that without asking for help? I mean, we don't know most of the stuff we need for this thing. Death added as Og'drimun's finger kept his mouth shut.

"I knew the finger thing was symbolic but come on man. You can't even humor me?" the tiny demon whined.

Oh, sorry. I wasn't thinking, huhuhu.

Og'drimun smirked as he shook his head. "Eh, what's done is done. The point is, we just need your scythe and the source of those bags. I'll handle the information side of things."

If it's a big secret, how will we get them to wear...

Og'drimun smacked Death's head so that it spun around. "Whoa, careful now. Don't want anyone to overhear you. And that's what magic is for, catch me? I'll know everything we need to know and get them all ready without anyone noticing a thing."

Death put his hands up to stop his head from spinning and seemed to think over Og'drimun's words. I'm gonna be honest man. This seems sketchy as all get out, but the end result is too tempting. So yeah, I'm in!

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Og'drimun smiled wickedly as he grabbed Death's hand and shook it. "Then we have a contract, and shall both abide by it."

I mean, no need to be so formal dude. Death said as he pulled his hand back to scratch the top of his skull.

There was a twinkle in Og'drimun's eye as he said, "Except it is important. Oh so very important."

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Ted sat in silence as Og'drimun and Death left through the front door. Things had been so fractured lately. It felt almost impossible to get everyone in the room at the same time anymore. They all had their own things that they were off doing. Their own plans they were working on. However, like usual, Ted had no real plans. Tomorrow would come, and he would face it when it did, but through years of practice it had become hard to even imagine that day coming. Tomorrow always felt like it was so far off in the distance.

"You ever spend an evening with a girl?"

Ted choked on air as Sentenza asked him such a startling question out of the blue. "I.." *cough cough* "That's not..." *Cough sputter*

As Ted went into an impromptu coughing fit Sentenza smiled. "Just figured I'd ask. Honestly, I could see it both ways. A guy like you, quiet, but firm when he needs to be, wooing ladies left and right, or paralyzed by his own fear and just letting them pass him by."

"I don't...is that a compliment, or an insult?"

Sentenza shrugged. "Both I suppose."

"Well...have you done it?"

"Done what?" Sentenza said coyly as Ted squirmed in his seat.

"I don't..." Ted cleared his throat. "Have you..." he lowered his voice down to a whisper, "kissed a girl before?"

Sentenza looked utterly shocked for a moment, and then burst into laughter. "What? Kissing? That's what you thought I meant?"

"Shhhh," Ted panicked as his face grew flushed. "Don't just shout it for everyone to hear."

"Oh relax," Sentenza laughed as he pulled out his cigarillo and tossed it into his empty mug. He smiled as he pointed an accusatory finger at Ted. "You almost made me choke on that, you know."

"Sorry, it's just...it's embarrassing." Ted whispered as he lowered his gaze and sat uncomfortably.

"It's fine. I can't say I expected this though. So, you've never kissed anyone?"

"Well I..."

"Your mom doesn't count."

"I wasn't going to!" Ted seemed to realize he was almost yelling and shut his mouth immediately. With reddened cheeks, he leaned across the table as he whispered, "That's not what I was going to say."

Sentenza was clearly enjoying this conversation immensely. "Oh, it wasn't was it? Then illuminate me. Explain your clear expertise in this matter."

"No, I've never kissed anyone okay? It just never felt like the right time. I don't..." Ted's sentence trailed off as he let out a sigh. Of course this would make him think of her.

"The right time? What's that supposed to mean. You either kiss them, or you don't. How could it be the wrong time?"

"Things aren't so simple." Ted sighed as he shook his head.

"Why not? You like a girl, and if she likes you, you kiss her. Life is short, and things go from there."

Ted snorted. "Yeah, right."

"What? You aren't exactly the ugliest son of a gun there is." Sentenza said calmly. "What was the problem? No girl good enough for you?"

"That's not..."

Ted looked defeated, and Sentenza leaned back in the booth. He clicked his tongue and slowly pulled off his hat. He shifted forward and stood up as he set the hat down on Ted's head. "No point worrying about it now. I was just curious is all. Don't want to rip open old wounds." Sentenza started to walk away as Ted stayed there and stared into the wood grain of the table. The old cowboy tossed his duster onto the counter and rolled up his sleeves. "I've got some dishes to take care of. Feel free to come and talk if you feel like it. I've got nothing better to do." Sentenza offered one final smirk, but Ted was too busy inspecting the table.

Ted knew Sentenza didn't mean to, but this whole thing had really brought down his mood. I mean, what made more sense, that he had some of the worst luck ever, or that there was something fundamentally wrong with him? After all, he was the common factor across everything. That made it hard not to blame himself.