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The Bartender at the End of the Universe
Ch 275: Knights of the Oval Table

Ch 275: Knights of the Oval Table

"I suppose I should be grateful they lasted this long," Ted sighed.

Narissa shrugged as she leaned against the counter.

"Are you gonna try to stop them?" Narissa asked.

Ted scrunched up his face. It seemed like the shooting upstairs had resolved itself, but it sounded like a fairly rough brawl just outside the kitchen. He wasn't sure how the new people would react if he just stepped in to stop them.

"I'm just about fin..."

Ding.

Ted turned around with a smile. "Ah, perfect."

"What? Baking already?" Narissa teased.

"Well, it'd be a waste not to use the place, right? After all, it's so fancy now." Ted said as he opened the shiny and new time machine.

Inside was a barrel. Ted smiled as he struggled to get the massive thing out. But, by rocking it back and forth slightly, he managed to get it to move. Even if it was a slow process.

"Impressive." Narissa said. "You certainly didn't waste any time."

"Well," Ted explained. "I wanted to turn this into actual rum, but it sounds like I don't have that kind of time."

"Or the strength to carry it out to the forest." Narissa pointed out.

"Right, that too," Ted chuckled.

"Actually, this place has changed a lot. It's almost closer to a village now." Narissa said. "Do you think they left your setup alone out in the woods? It kinda seems like they tore through a lot of stuff around here."

Ted shrugged. "Haven't checked, but if they did there's not really anything I can do about that, is there?"

Narissa watched Ted for a brief moment and then smirked. "Right right. Well. Seems you've got things handled here. Guess I should head out and let you work."

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"Um, actually," Ted chimed in. "This is pretty heavy, any chance you could..."

"Yep," Narissa nodded. "Real shame I can't stick around."

"If you could just..."

"See you around!" Narissa added as she slipped out of the kitchen and left Ted alone with the barrel of alcohol.

He couldn't help but smile. It was so obvious she didn't want to help, but he figured he'd ask anyway. But, she never even gave him a chance. He didn't know why, but for some reason that almost made him laugh.

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"This is a fruitless endeavor." Sid explained.

Abraham kept throwing jab after jab towards Sid, but he kept dodging from side to side. Not a single punch landed once Sid actually stood up and started to move around more.

"Your silence does not help this conversation." Sid added.

Abraham scoffed as he threw a powerful uppercut. Sid stepped out of the path of his fist, but Abraham had already started to follow it up with a hook. Sid wasn't able to react fast enough to dodge. So, he swung his arm up, and punched Abraham's elbow.

Crack!

Abraham's attack missed as his elbow was shattered and his arm went slack.

"It would benefit you to stop." Sid commanded.

Abraham spit on the wooden floor. "Too bad."

Immediately, Abraham stepped forward with another uppercut. As Sid dodged it again, Abraham followed up with another hook. Sid had a confused look on his face as Abraham's fist hit him square in the jaw.

"Ooh, that looked like it hurt," Og'drimun winced from a distant vantage point.

Sid was knocked to the side, and his jaw hung crooked. He reached up and grabbed his dislocated bone, and with a quick snap he forced it back into place.

Abraham hung back and frowned as he watched Sid. "Tch. Figures you'd be able to heal quickly."

"Indeed," Sid explained as he stood back up.

Sid shifted his jaw side to side as if he was testing it out before he added, "I made sure to integrate the most beneficial properties my creators dreamed up when I created this form. What is perplexing is your healing abilities. It seems to greatly surpass my own."

Abraham snorted. "You don't say?"

"Quite." Sid nodded. "The energy needed to recover should have weakened you or your body, yet you are indistinguishable from when you started this fight. Like a machine running at the same efficiency, but even a machine heats up."

"Who knows," Abraham said, "maybe it just hasn't been long enough."

"Perhaps, but doubtful." Sid surmised. "Perhaps if you explained how you do it? Then I would be sure to understand it better."

"Hah!" Abraham scoffed. "An abomination like you wants our secrets? Do you think I'm that idiotic? As if I would tell your kind anything!"

As Abraham clenched his fists again, the door swung open.

"Guess what?" Ted cheered as he carried out four mugs of fresh beer. "I just finished the first batch! You've just got to have a taste."

Abraham looked over at Ted, but kept his fists clenched. "You're the normal guy, right?"

Ted smiled as he set the mugs down on an oval table.

"Normal? That's selling me a but high I'd say." Ted joked. "But yeah, no crazy powers or origin story for me. Just a laser who stands among giants."

"That is an unfair comparison Ted." Sid pointed out. "As you know, we all have our strengths and weaknesses."

"Yeah well, my strengths weren't really much use in that weird castle thing, were they?" Ted retorted.

"I mean, you didn't...uh, that is...of course you...hmm..." Og'drimun stumped over his words as he seemed to search for the right thing to say.

"Even I struggled." Sid explained. "It was quite a challenge."

"And did we even get anything out of it?" Ted sighed as he pulled four chairs up to the table.

Ted motioned for the others to join him as he took a seat. Sid and Og'drimun immediately made their way over, but Abraham stood his ground. Although, he did relax his fists.

"There was much we did obtain," said Sid. "But it is hard to fully comprehend it all. I need more time to peruse through the data."

"Uh, I learned how to make a teleporting room, that was pretty cool." Og'drimun added. "Oh! And how to use Death as a sort of super armor. That was pretty sweet."

Ted smiled weakly. His constant failures down there still weighed heavily on his heart. And when he thought about that strange woman in that land of the red sun, his side almost felt like it was burning.

"Hopeless, all of you." Abraham grumbled as he joined them at the table. In one quick move, he downed one of the mugs completely.

Ted immediately perked up. "Here, let me get you another one."

As he rushed to grab another drink, Abraham eyed Sid and Og'drimun warily. "So, why don't you two catch me up on that...strange place you just ransacked?"