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The Bartender at the End of the Universe
Ch 139: Let's go for a Drive

Ch 139: Let's go for a Drive

"Hey."

"Hey."

"HEY!"

Ted slowly opened his eyes. It was so bright. Like he was staring straight into the sun. He blinked slowly and the light seemed to get a little less bright each time he opened his eyes again.

Suddenly, Ted felt himself being shaken.

"Come on, now. You need to wake up!"

Then, reality hit Ted like a punch in the gut. Everything came crashing into focus. He was lying on the ground, and his uncle was shaking him. Above him was a beautiful, blue sky, framed by two rows of green, pine trees. The sharply sweet smell of pine filled his nose as a warm breeze blew across his face.

"You gave me quite the scare there, nephew," Ted's Uncle said with a relieved sigh.

"Huh? What happened?" Ted was surprised as his voice came out hoarse and dry. Instinctively he brought his hand up to his neck, but everything felt normal. Though he suddenly realized that his throat was so dry it almost felt like it was cracking from a lack of moisture.

"I wish I could tell you," his uncle sighed. "You just sort of went all slack on me there."

"Oh, sorry." Ted said out of habit. He couldn't help what happened, so he knew he shouldn't need to apologize, but it still felt like he needed to be sorry for inconveniencing him. It was a strange feeling.

His uncle stood up and tilted his head up to glance at the sky. He took in a deep breath through his crooked nose, and slowly let the air in his lungs out through his mouth. He turned down to Ted, who was still on the ground, and he held out his hand.

"Well," his uncle said, "do you think you can stand?"

Ted nodded and grabbed his uncle's hand. His hand was rough, like sandpaper, but firm and strong. Ted's uncle pulled him up with seemingly no effort. It was so quick, Ted's legs seemed to not understand they were needed, and he faltered a moment. His uncle put his other hand on Ted's shoulder and helped steady him.

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"That bad, huh?" his uncle chuckled as Ted's legs finally straightened out to support him.

"No, I'm fine." Ted croaked.

His uncle slapped Ted on his back. "Well, I'm at least glad I don't have to carry you. Now come on. We're going to go for a drive."

"Huh? Wait...weren't we doing...something?" Ted had this tugging in his brain, like he was forgetting something. He knew they had to have been doing something, but he couldn't remember what it was. When he tried to focus, the thought slipped away, as if it was made of melting ice.

"We'll figure it out later, but you need to get checked out." His uncle said firmly as he basically pulled Ted along.

"But I'm fine," Ted protested. Again, saying that didn't make any sense, not even to Ted. Yet, he felt compelled to fight against being a burden, or at least that's what he thought.

"Oh, sure you are," his uncle teased. "You just go fainting all the time, do you?"

"It's not..."

"Look, argue all you want, but you're going kiddo." His uncle interrupted. "It's for my sake. I mean, if you don't get checked, it'll worry me all day, and I won't be able to focus. Okay?"

Ted wasn't sure what to say, and his throat hurt so much. So, he decided he wouldn't say anything. He just looked down to the dirt and pine needles they were walking over.

The next thing Ted knew, they were in his uncle's car. It was what most people would call a hunk of junk. It was top of the line back in what must have been the sixties. Back before car manufacturers understood aerodynamics as it had hardly a rounded edge and was as wide as a boat.

Ted remembered his parents lamenting over the car and his choice to keep driving it around. A money pit he never got around to fixing up, and all around an inconvenient way to travel. Yet, his uncle wouldn't have given that car up for most anything. Ted was sure of that.

Ted was in the backseat. It was not very comfortable, and the carpeted floors looked their age, with dirt from what must have been hundreds of pairs of shoes over decades. Ted was sure if he was barefoot, he'd be at more risk from the carpet than whatever caused him to faint.

"Feeling any better now?" his uncle asked as he reached back towards Ted with a water bottle in his hand.

Ted grabbed the water bottle and nodded. "Yeah." He may have said he was better, but just that one word felt like he was spitting up razor blades through his throat.

"Really now?" Ted's uncle adjusted the rearview mirror so that it was pointed right at Ted.

Ted saw his uncle go slightly white. "Dang, sorry I live so far out," his uncle apologized as he turned his eyes back to the road. "Wasn't a lot I could afford, and the privacy suited me pretty well."

Ted decided it'd be better if he didn't say anything else, but he agreed with his uncle. The countryside suited him. He couldn't imagine his uncle living in the middle of a busy city in a condo. Heck, sometimes it was hard to imagine him living somewhere you didn't have to get your water from a hand pump. Though, where he was now had running water. It just...well, he just seemed so wild and rustic.

"Hey nephew," his uncle said as Ted heard the engine roar to life. "Why don't I show you what this baby can really do?"

The car sounded more like an industrial machine than a regular car, and Ted felt himself jerk back slightly as it started to speed up faster and faster. The muscle car quickly climbed past a hundred miles per hour, seemingly without much effort outside of growing louder.

As the car sped up, Ted felt himself get pushed down into his seat as well as back. Everything in the car seemed to settle into place the faster they went, almost like the vehicle itself was built for these speeds. It slipped into a groove as his uncle sped forward.

Only then did Ted realize there was no music. His uncle always played music. It was usually classic rock or some sort of modern disco, but there was nothing. Then he saw a bead of sweat fall down his uncle's forehead.

Was it really that bad? What happened? Why did his throat hurt so much? What did his uncle know that he didn't? What couldn't he remember?