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The Bartender at the End of the Universe
Ch 257: Should've had a Better Backup Plan

Ch 257: Should've had a Better Backup Plan

BANG!

A bead of sweat rolled down Sentenza's forehead as he ground his teeth against each other.

As smoke rose from the barrels of his now empty guns, not a drop of blood spilled outside the small room. All that could be seen was a thick fog that seemed oddly heavy.

As they hovered over it, the fog seemed to surge up towards them, and try to creep into the room.

In a flash, they were gone again.

What do you think that is all about? Death asked as he sat atop his unnervingly calm pale horse.

Og'drimun shook his head as the two of them looked at the slowly growing mist.

"It's trouble," he said succinctly.

"Tttthhheee wwwwooolllfff," Bakade mused. "Hhhheeee'ssss dddaannnggeeerrrooouuussss."

"Wow, really? But he looked like such a sweet lil puppy!"

The sound of a creaky door hinge echoed around them as a square chunk of the floor swung open. Pockets walked through from the other side. She was walking straight up, as if the door was what decided gravity for her. But, as her foot stepped over the threshold, she swung forward seamlessly until she was stepping onto the flat ground again.

"Did ya miss me!?!" she cheered happily before she reached her hand up and squeezed her nose.

Honk. Honk.

"Oh, you were gone? I didn't really notice." Og'drimun said.

Death let out a frustrated groan. I was hoping you'd stay gone.

"Aw, I knew you'd miss me!" Pockets cooed as she reached into her shirt's pocket.

The clown pulled out a shockingly realistic heart. It was dripping some strange clear ooze and throbbing in a clear heartbeat rhythm. She forced it into Death's hand.

Uh...no thank you? Death replied as he tried to shove the gift back.

Pockets made sure to step out of the way and turned away from the skeleton. "I just knew you couldn't resist my feminine wiles!"

"I think she likes you," Og'drimun teased in a mocking voice.

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She just like destroying my coolest shirts. Dearth grumbled as he reluctantly pulled the beating heart back.

As he was trying to find somewhere to stash the gift, it started to beat faster and faster. Then,

BOOM!

Death, Og'drimun, and the horse were enveloped in black smoke from the exploding heart.

cough cough

Og'drimun cleared his tiny lungs, but the smoke didn't seem to leave them at all. It sat around them in a big circle that obscured them completely.

Hey! Stop that! Death complained.

"Wait," cough, wheeze, "Someone's in here!" Og'drimun managed to squeak out through coughs.

"Tttthhhiiisss rrreealllllyyy iiisssnnn'tttt ttthhheee ttttiiiimmmmeee." Bakade sighed as she shook her head. Her eyes flashed to the side as she seemed to catch something moving. It was the robot.

The machine was zooming across the battlefield. As it picked up speed, the room mad of flesh appeared in front of it, and twelve bullets slammed into it. Each bullet slowed it down just a bit before it was able to leap far away from the room that had suddenly appeared.

Each time the room popped into existence near the robot, a little more of the mist seemed to drip out of it. These small bits of water vapor sat around the large cavern, and not only that, but each small section seemed to grow ever so slightly as they sat there.

The sound of metal scraping on bone was coming from inside the black smoke that was finally starting to dissipate.

"I disagree. In fact, I'd say it's always the right time." Pockets said in a dreamy voice, "After all, what's a little stab between friends now and again?"

To some of us, it matters quite a bit! Death complained. You obliterated my awesome bad to the bone t-shirt you jerk!

"Don't forget about me!" Og'drimun wined. "That knife came way too close a few times. I could've sworn I was going to lose my tail a dozen times at least!"

There wqas a brief pause, before Og'drimun cried out, "Wait wait wait! Noooooo!" His voice slowly started to fade away, like he was running into the distance.

The smoke finally cleared, and Death had soot all over his face and body. Somehow the horse seemed completely unaffected and was its normal white. And Og'drimun, well he wasn't anywhere to be seen.

Across Death's ribs were several thin lines, as if a piece of twine had been dragged across them to wipe off the soot. Well, that or a knife like the one Pockets was currently holding in her hand.

Hey, what'd you do to my pilot! Death grumbled angrily.

"Well, he was worried he'd get between us, didn't you hear him?" Pockets asked. "I just made sure he wouldn't get in the way again. It's much safer for him. Trust me."

----------------------------------------

Ted was sprawled out on the ground. It felt oddly familiar to him. Almost comforting in a way. But he seemed to be having trouble staying awake.

His mind seemed desperate to rest. To just shut down for a moment to recover. Yet, when he tried to drift off to sleep, he found he couldn't.

It was like something was physically blocking him from drifting off. Such a strange feeling. Like being too tired to actually fall asleep. A paradox that made no sense, and yet here he was.

"How mundane."

Ted had almost forgotten the strangely predatory woman who had been nearby. He looked down at his side, and he could see someone's hand still inside him. It was nice and warm, but that seemed strange to him. Why would someone sticking their arm inside him feel warm?

Then he let out another groan as he remembered how painful it was when Narissa had been rummaging around inside his guts. This felt way different, but he didn't know why.

Maybe it was...or...it could've been...

He was finding it harder to think in complete thoughts. Half-baked ideas drifted by, but not enough he could actually grasp any of them.

"Is that really all there is?" She scoffed dismissively.

For some reason, her disapproval felt worse than even the fear he had been subjected to just a little while ago. Red, he knew there was something about the color red, but what was it? It was important. A warning maybe?

She slowly pulled her hand out of Ted's side and wiped the dripping blood on her hand off onto the back of his shirt.

"I figured with all you've done you were some nexus. A spiritual battery for that realm. Yet here you are. Absolutely unremarkable." She seemed irritated almost.

"Sorry I guess?" Ted replied almost instinctually.

"Is it just dumb luck that you're at the center of all of this? Or could it be..." She grunted in frustration, which made Ted flinch.

"A waste." she scowled.

It was clear she was frustrated. He entire demeanor had changed. Before it was almost like Ted was a curiosity, but now it was more like he was, at best, an annoyance.

And suddenly, she was gone. Ted was left alone, but whatever was blocking him from sleeping seemed to have disappeared. Now his stomach felt warm too, and the warmth was spreading across his body that was touching the ground.

He was so tired. Just a small nap. That was it. He'd get up after that...

Just...one...minute...

A small voice called out to him, but Ted couldn't make it out.

"Don't,,,with me...up...UP!"

Was he already dreaming? He could swear he heard that voice before, but it was louder now. What was their name? Pynga? Was that it? Why would he be dreaming about them yelling at him? He didn't want anyone angry at him. He hated when people were upset. It was so...stressful...

9...