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Ch 58: It's on the House

SLAM!

The whole room turned towards the door as the smiling man strolled in. The music from the karaoke machine was still playing Black Betty by Ram Jam, but Death had stopped his air guitar solo.

Dang bro, you can really kill a mood, can't you? Death commented as he looked around at everyone else's nervous faces.

"It seems so," The smiling man mused. "Though a few of your players seem to be missing. They didn't have any sort of mishap, did they?"

"Did you come here to taunt us again?" Trizel snarled.

"Why would I ever do that? Of course, I worry about you all so much," the smiling man lied. "Why, cannibals, murderers, war criminals, assassins, and so much worse just seem to pollute this world. I'd hate to see something happen to one of you actually good folk."

"That is it!" Snapped Trizel as he stood up with fists clenched and fury burning in his eyes. "Why you pompous, self-righteous, cocky piece of..."

Just as Trizel was approaching him, the music cut out. Death looked down at the machine and cut Trizel off with a snicker. huhuhu. The skeleton turned towards the smiling man and pointed a bony finger at him. I nominate you to sing now!

Everyone, even Trizel paused as Death nominated their tormenter to sing. The whole group turned to look at Death, who just nodded his head in beat to some silent tune as he crossed his arms and vacated the stage.

"What's this? A nomination? How quant, do you actually believe something like that would..." The smiling man cut his sentence short as the corner of his mouth twitched. It almost looked like he was going to frown, but then an even bigger smile crept onto his face. "I see. That is interesting..."

Suddenly, he appeared on the stage, kneeling in front of the karaoke machine. "Let's see, does it have...yes! Perfect."

Everyone still seemed to be in a state of shock as the sadistic man stood up tall and moved his hand to straighten his tie. At least that's what Ted assumed he was doing, as he was still difficult to actually see clearly with all the shadows that clung to him. He cleared his throat slightly as upbeat pop music started to play. He started to swing his hips back and forth and dance around as he sang;

"I stay out too late

Got nothing in my brain

That's what people say, mm, mm

That's what people say, mm, mm

I go on too many dates

But I can't make 'em stay

At least that's what people say, mm, mm

That's what people say, mm, mm

But I keep cruising

Can't stop, won't stop moving

It's like I got this music in my mind

Saying it's gonna be alright

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off (Whoo-hoo-hoo)

Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break

And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off (Whoo-hoo-hoo)

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...

Hey, hey, hey

Just think while you've been gettin' down and out about the liars

And the dirty, dirty cheats of the world

You could've been gettin' down

To this sick beat

My ex man brought his new girlfriend

She's like, "Oh my God!"

I'm just gonna shake

And to the fella over there with the hella good hair

Won't you come on over baby?

We can shake, shake, shake (Yeah)

Yeah, oh

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

..."

The most shocking part of his performance was that he sounded almost identical to Taylor Swift. Well, that and he implied Trizel had good hair, as he pointed to directly at him during that part of the performance. Perhaps it was just to toy with him, but whatever the case everyone was still too stunned from the performance to say anything.

"Oh, I just had a fantastic idea!" The smiling man broke the silence as he flipped through more songs and his smile only grew wider. "Perfect, but I need someone to back me up, but who..."

He lifted his head and scanned the room, and finally settled on Trizel, which wasn't really a surprise to Ted after their constant prodding of each other. "I nominate Trizel to duet this next song with me."

Finally, Trizel seemed to find his tongue as he scowled. "There's no way I'd..."

With a snap of his fingers, Trizel had disappeared and reappeared on stage. He scowled, but as the music started, Trizel's mouth started to work on its own, clearly against his will. While the smiling man, of course seemed quite into it.

[Trizel:]

"Hiya, Barbie!"

[The Smiling Man:]

"Hi, Ken!"

[Trizel:]

"Wanna go for a ride?"

[The Smiling Man:]

"Sure, Ken!"

[Trizel:]

"Jump in!"

[The Smiling Man:]

I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation

[Trizel:]

Come on Barbie, let's go party

I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world

Life in plastic, it's fantastic

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a blonde bimbo girl

In a fantasy world

Dress me up, make it tight

I'm your dolly

[Trizel:]

You're my doll, rock and roll

Feel the glamour in pink

Kiss me here, touch me there

Hanky panky

[The Smiling Man:]

You can touch, you can play

If you say, "I'm always yours"

Ooh whoa

...

[The Smiling Man:]

"Oh, I'm having so much fun!"

[Trizel:]

"Well Barbie, we're just getting started."

[The Smiling Man:]

"Oh, I love you, Ken!"

As the music ended, everyone seemed even more awestruck than before. Maybe it was how the smiling man kissed Trizel's cheek at the end.

"I didn't realize how much I needed this kind of distraction." the smiling man said in an uncharacteristically sincere voice. "Consider this week paid for, and I may need to bring a few friends to make this a real party next time. Tata!"

And like that the mysterious man slipped out the front door.

I think...

"Not a word!" Snapped Trizel. "We shall never speak of this again. It never happened."

But we got...

"Never happened!"

"I think. I think I agree with Trizel," Ted added. "That was...kind of much to be honest. Like whiplash."

"I do not..." stammered Sid. "None of that fit his data profile. He should have...I agree. Purging this data may be necessary for my sanity."

"IIII ttthhoouuugghhttt iiitt wwaasss kkkiiinnndddaaa fffuuunnnyyy." mumbled Bakade as he looked down at the ground.

Death pointed towards her excitedly. Exactly! Bakade knows what's up. I'm just surprised he didn't make you sing Barbie's part, because...

"Enough!" shouted Trizel in a weary voice. "It never happened. But I shall head to my room anyway. This situation," he turned and looked directly at Dearth, "that no one shall speak of again, seems to have drained me. Good night."

As Trizel made his way up the stairs, Death shook his head. A free week for that seems pretty worth it to me. Just saying.

Trizel leaned his head down from the upper floor, "Everyone in here can hear everything you say, you know!"