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The Bartender at the End of the Universe
Ch 22: Silence and Slip and Slides

Ch 22: Silence and Slip and Slides

"What do you mean it is irrelevant!" Snapped Trizel as he slammed his fists against the table. "You were on the brink of death!"

I mean, he seemed pretty fine to me.

"You can just tell dead or alive! Nuance is not your expertise," retorted Trizel.

Wow, harsh bro.

"Can we maybe calm down?" suggested Ted as he set down several more plates of fried dough and bananas.

"Trizel appears to be the only one who is not calm at the moment," stated Sid.

"Of course I am not calm! You won't tell us a dang thing!" yelled Trizel.

"There's something else," interjected Ted. "I couldn't hear anything you guys said as soon as I went into the kitchen."

"Nothing?" queried Sid.

"Not even Death. It was just me and the sound of frying oil."

Whoa, that's crazy! I didn't even notice that!

"This is not really a laughing matter," Trizel said as he slammed his fist onto the table again. "Bakade has minor injuries but managed to damage this invader somewhat. You Sid were also attacked, and now we find that the kitchen cannot hear anything beyond it? This is an expertly crafted invasion, and it is clear they are planning to take us out one by one. We must assume both Narissa and Sentenza are dead. We know nothing of their capabilities, except that they are enough to not only mostly evade Bakade, but outlast her and injure her."

"You are making too many assumptions," Sid said. "You have nowhere near enough data to know any of those things for certain."

"Darn it! This is a declaration of war against The Oasis! We cannot just wait for them to be kind enough to tell us everything about them! Every second matters. We have to shore up our defenses and prepare for the greater invasion force this assault is clearly preparing for."

"Now you assume there are more coming?" Sid asked as he shook his head. "You would have us put our efforts into preparing for an army when that is one of the less likely outcomes of this situation."

"Then what would you suggest?" sighed Trizel.

"We wait."

"WHAT!?!" roared Trizel.

"With how little we know," explained Sid. "I believe it is best that we wait for more information."

Trizel grabbed Sid by his shoulders and spun him around, so they were face to face. "You darn machine! Tell me what you know! Who is out there! Who did this!"

"Relaying half-known information at this point would be..." Sid responded calmly until Trizel started to shake him, and his voice got warbly. "counter...intuitive...and...actively...harm...things."

Finally, Trizel shoved Sid towards the table, grabbed his plate of food, and sent it flying off into the wall as he let out an angry yell. "Useless! Why would you choose to be so useless!"

Dang. That guy is the one-two combo. Dumb, and angry.

Trizel grabbed the back of his chair and hurled it at Death with all his might. It crashed into his skull, and ripped it from his vertebrae, sending it flying with the chair.

"What the heck Trizel!" said a very startled Ted. "You killed him!"

Nah, I'm all good bro. Death's voice echoed out as his skeletal body, now headless, turned and gave a thumb up to Ted. The headless body then got up and walked over towards the now shattered chair as it seemed to search around for its head.

Trizel rubbed the bridge of his nose as he practically growled with each breath. "Useless all useless!"

"Trizel, did you even know that would happen? That he would be fine?" asked Ted accusingly as he pointed a finger towards the giant.

"I have fought skeletons before Ted, but if you are asking if I was certain he would survive? No, I was not. I was fairly certain, but I was also very alright with that blow killing him." Trizel replied as he glared at the headless skeleton.

Whoa, not cool bro. Ouch! His body had found him, but as it reached down, it accidentally kicked his head away. Hey, careful with the goods man. Wait! Oh no! Where are my glasses!

As he set his head back on his body, he twisted it back and forth, and then frantically began to look around. They've got to be around here...oh man... Death dug his hand into the debris of the chair and pulled out a crushed pair of sunglasses. They dangled in his hand for a moment before falling back down onto the floor, leaving just a small piece in his bony fingers. Bummer...

"Just calm down Trizel." sighed Ted.

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

"Calm down! You ask me to calm down with enemies within our gates!" Trizel scolded as he held his arms out. "Calm is the last thing I should be, especially since Sid is seeing fit to withhold information from us!"

"As I explained earlier, if I gave you the information you wanted..."

"Shut up!" snapped Trizel.

There was a gnawing in Ted's gut. Something felt wrong about this entire thing. Narissa hadn't been seen in a while, then Sid and Bakade got attacked. Sentenza was usually out with Bakade, so he was probably fighting too, and if it didn't get him, then he was going to still be tracking it down. Yet something felt wrong. Like one of those horror games where everything in the room changed just slightly. And now they were fighting over what to do. He didn't realize it with how isolated he had lived his life, but he hated this. He hated conflict and seeing people fighting so viciously. Playful teasing, like it usually had been, was fine of course, but this. No, this was something completely different.

"Trizel!" Ted yelled as he slammed his palms against the table and stood up. "You're the most pressing problem right now!"

"What! With our friends being attacked, and not saying a word about it? I am the problem!"

"That's right." Ted gulped as he somehow found the courage to continue. Likely helped from the slight tipsiness he felt from already having a few drinks. "You're sloppy. Getting too focused and blinded by your anger. You're going to miss something important because of your rage. You've got to take a step back and try and think this through."

Trizel let out a huff. "Then what is it we should do? Wait around and just let this enemy have their way with The Oasis and all of us in it?"

Ted gulped. "I think."

"Well go ahead. If you're so smart all of a sudden, tell the great Trizel Forellian what he should do when confronted with an act of war."

Ted took in a deep breath, and slowly let it out. "We should listen to Sid."

"WHAT!" snapped Trizel as his rage quickly grew.

"Sid isn't perfect, but I trust him. There's got to be a reason he won't or can't say who attacked him. He wouldn't just withhold something like that if he didn't have a good reason."

Yeah bro, like what it's like some monster that grows in strength the more you know about it? Or like only attacks whoever knows about it?

"Those are some of the most idiotic explanations I have ever heard!" roared Trizel. "But fine! If you want to be caught unprepared, be my guest. We shall let this thing stomp all over us like we do with that smiling beast who demands our tribute then punishes us anyways!"

Ted held a hand up towards Trizel as the giant stormed toward the door, but before he could say anything, Trizel turned his head back towards them and said, "There was a reason I was at war with both the heavens above and the underworld. I refuse to bow to capricious powers that claim to rule simply for existing." He roughly slammed the door behind him as he headed out into the rain.

Ted slumped down into his seat, as the exchange had drained him. It was like standing against a hurricane, and his entire body felt sore and exhausted. He put his hand against his forehead and leaned back as he let out a sigh.

"Your vote of confidence is noted."

"I'm sorry?" said Ted as he shook his head and looked around the room.

"I have noted your vote of confidence," repeated Sid. "It is strange, as hearing it was oddly reassuring. Despite my knowledge that such a thought process is, of course, correct."

Don't overthink it bro. Just let it slide in and enjoy it. Death nodded as he sat in a chair, with an arm hanging over the back. Then he leaned it back as he put both of his feet, one over the other, onto the table.

"That is rather unhygienic," Sid stated as he pointed to Death's feet.

"Sid," sighed Ted. "Just reassure me. Things won't get worse, will they?"

"I cannot say." replied Sid. "There are far too many variables now."

Ted sighed as he shook his head.

"Although I will say," added Sid. "That it does appear patiently waiting is the prudent option in this scenario. Information will likely come soon. If Trizel or Bakade do not overreact even more of course."

Ted bit his tongue before sighing angrily. "So, you do know what happened to Bakade?"

"I have a confident guess, but sharing that at this time would..."

"Be a bad idea or whatever yeah yeah." Ted shook his head, and then slapped his own cheeks a few times.

Whoa, what'd you do that for?

"I've got to shake myself out of it. worrying won't change anything, right?" explained Ted as he tried to convince himself it was true. "I've just got to trust Sid is right, and let whatever happens, happen."

----------------------------------------

"Magic, huh?"

"Shut up." sneered Narissa.

Sentenza tossed the small sack up a few times. "I thought you wanted to be partners?"

"That doesn't mean I have to talk to you, much less like you." she scoffed.

"Fair enough I guess, but what, did you sell your soul or something?" Sentenza asked as he scratched the uninjured side of his face with the barrel of his pistol.

Narissa rolled her eyes as she kept her hand on the wall as they slowly made their way in the dark. "Of course you would jump straight to that. It's not all like the stories."

"Oh yeah?" mused Sentenza as he nodded. "Did you have to learn, or is it something your born with?"

She turned around to glare at him, and just like earlier, when she stopped moving, he did too. "I could swear I told you that I worked for every scrap I have to claim my place at the top." Her words were dripping with venom as she spoke.

"Sorry then if you did."

"Why are you suddenly acting so nice?" she asked with clear frustration in her voice.

"Nice? Nah, I'm just trying to understand what all you're bringing to the table here." nodded Sentenza as his eyes darted around them nervously. "I've pretty much been using a gun since I could walk. Learned from a few folks here and there, but mostly picked it all up with my own practice. I figure magic has got to be more complicated than that. So, how did you work for it?"

Narissa turned around and started to walk. Sentenza kept the same pace behind her. "You're not going to leave me alone until I explain things to you, are you?"

"Nope?"

"And if you can't understand?"

"Try."

Narissa let out an irritated groan and begrudging explained some things. "You can't just learn magic on your own. You have to find some suspicious old crone, or if you're lucky, some kind of creature of the Fae realm. Both are hard to find, but the Crones tend to want to be found, so look long enough and you'll stumble across one of them. Although getting them to teach you? That's the real challenge. Every darn one of them held knowledge close at hand, like sharing even a scrap would weaken their own abilities somehow. Do you understand how hard it is to try and pry knowledge from a powerful witch you're essentially an indentured servant too?"

Sentenza's hand shaked slightly as he put a fresh cigarillo in his mouth. He did not light it though, as he seemed to forget it as he turned sharply towards his right. "Servant, right." he gulped.

"Oh yes. It was always, 'not now,' 'I'll teach you after your chores are done,' 'the stars aren't in alignment for this,' 'ask again and I'll beat you with a fresh switch,' and more nonsense. At first, I simply left when they wouldn't teach me. Then I discovered that they were all the same. Hording their knowledge and hoping for some foolish child to devote their life to them and get nothing in return. They gave me no choice of course; I'd sneak peeks at their precious spell-books while they'd be out and take my own notes. If one started to get suspicious, I would leave, and find a new one."

Narissa ran a hand through her hair as the subject seemed to be upsetting her. "It almost a decade to get to a respectable level, and it was more and more frustrating at how difficult those crones made it. So, who could blame me if I sped up the process by stealing their books? Things sped up considerably. Of course, that got them all in a tizzy, and they came together to do something about the uppity girl who was stealing their secrets. They even sent a monster to hunt me down. Freed him from his century's long imprisonment just to take care of me. They never would have expected that I'd make him a better offer."

"Turning the table on them, huh?" nodded Sentenza. "Not bad. Wouldn't have worked on me though."

"Oh? You'd turn down a better offer?" Narissa scoffed. "Seems pretty dumb to me."

Sentenza shook his head. "Everyone's got a code. Mine is when I'm paid for a job, I finish it. Had a guy beg for his life once. Offered me two thousand dollars even. When he found I wouldn't budge, he changed the offer. Kill the man who hired me, and the two thousand was mine. What'd you think I did? Why I killed him then and there, took the money, and when I reported the success and got paid, killed the man who had hired me."

His story seemed to amuse Narissa, but she tried to downplay her smirk as she said, "Maybe I'm the one who should be worried about working with you?"

"Probably," agreed Sentenza. "Problem is you're the one without a choice in it."

"Oh? What if I use some magic to charm you into being my slave?"

Sentenza scratched his neck as he weighed her words. "Don't know. Feels almost like a challenge. I mean, you try something like that and fail, I'll just shoot you. And not just to slow you down so you couldn't run away."

"Pfft. Pretty full of yourself, aren't you?"

"Just know my own skill."

Narissa stopped as they stood before the carved skull. "Alright, this is it."

She reached her hand into the eye socket, and the mouth opened wide to reveal a long slide down. Sentenza broke the distance he had been keeping between them to get close to the skull and looked down into the maw.

"Down there?" he asked.

"Yep." she said with a smirk. "I mean, if it's too much for you, we can always just go back."

Sentenza nodded. "I suppose we could." Then, with a hand on her back, her eyes grew wide as he shoved her forward.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" she cried as she went tumbling forward and eventually landed on her back as she started to slide down.

After listening for a moment, Sentenza put a hand on his hat and jumped down after her. "Might want to clear out of the way when you land. I'm coming down fast as lightning!"

"I'll get you back for this!" she called up from deeper below.