Back in my void kitchen I open up a cooking window. I don’t want sour, savory is good, but I’m not trying to make a meal, -- even as I have the thought I know that I can eat. I can always eat. And it’s not my fault! Whoo! -- but what’s a mindless snack I can munch on? I can fry up some greens --.

“‘Tato chips,” I immediately say, checking to see if I have anything I can use as a slicer, besides me, and staring blankly at the assortment of knives I have in my inventory.

These might be dumping warehouse items, but they’re more suitable for combat. I sigh as I try to figure out which knife will work before sorting for size. And there are a lot of small personal knives that are thin and won’t look ridiculous trying to wield in the kitchen. But what if...? I look for a poor, rusty sword that I can consume, and find several cheap weapons that appear to have rusted in their sheaths? But I can see the bare blades and their greasy looking cracked sheaths.

I shrug and bank absorb the crappy blades in the hopes that I can Will something small and sharp in my attempt to make a slicer. When a few voices ask why I just don’t just slice the mushrooms by hand, I point out that that sounds tedious as sagging balls. I get a few laughs and admonishments for my phrasing before a debate over who should be blamed for my laziness causes another shouting match.

I sigh, recreate a small, slightly curved, swooping triangle blade, and use that to slice up some not ‘tatoes. The work is surprisingly fast. When I try to decide what kind of oil to make and use, making a bowl and filling it with water to soak my taters, my thoughts on using my generic nuts is shot down. Apparently they’re poisonous.

I set the knife down, stand up straight, and stare blankly at the stupidity in telling me not to use something I consume regularly because it’s toxic because it’s toxic... A reluctant, strangled sigh gets dragged kicking and screaming out of me before I Will a press to squeeze nuts to make oil without just grinding everything down, and there are protests by two people who think their voices will get lost in a crowd shouting loudly. I can taste the embarrassment as they immediately notice the discrepancy and wind down quietly.

They want me to boil the nuts, -- which sounds disgusting, -- and then try to skim the oil, and the crowd finally starts shouting that that’s a terrible idea. Aunty tells them to hush before telling me I should pull the oils from the milled nuts. I’d be getting water, flour, and oil as well. There’s an option to request oils from nuts, but the cost goes down drastically if I grind the nuts, not too finely, and then press them. I can soak the nuts and then mill them if I want, but I’d rather just crush some nuts and request the water and oil. It’ll still take the same amount of effort, just all at once instead of over time. Kinda don’t want to wait for my research snack.

I request crushed nuts, pause my cutting, and set down the knife when I wonder if the mushrooms I use as ‘tatoes have oils I can use. Then I wonder if I have anything else with oils in it, refocusing to realize I’m scraping my tongue with the back of the blade at the thought of shiver thorn oils. There’s a thought! Maybe it tastes better when mixed with other things. I put the knife down and transfer to the hedge around the shit shack. I’ve put it in tea and it was definitely better. Maybe the same will be true with the ‘tatoes?

I set a request to pull the moisture from the milled ‘tatoes, getting water, a small bit of oil, and a starchy flour for my efforts. This gets me back to thoughts of the mills. I mill not-potato and nuts together, and request water and oil from the resulting mash before transfering back to the kitchen. I set up a series of woks, already owned from my... Calling them victims at this point is odd, considering how I’m not sure when they got inside my bank or if I was even --.

Was someone using me as a dumping ground?

There’s an uproar as some people acknowledge that they were tricked into paying a fee in order to get into Eager Heart “hidden” rooms, and led directly into my maws. I’m a body dumping ground. Figured some of the people were already dead, but they were alive and tricked into sacrificing themselves.

Wow. Shitty.

And some of the tricksters are inside me now. Huh.

Not my fault! I throw my fists in the air in celebration. Another thing that happened to me that I didn’t do! I’m not the asshole! I swear there’s a loud snort. Tch! This time!

I check to see that the oils are hot in the series of pans before throwing in my sliced Death Beans, -- I snort. Me calling them not ‘taters is one thing, but I guess calling them deadly earth fruit works, -- into the various oils, letting my auto collect work as I slice up more not tubers to throw in, not soaked and dried. For kicks I throw in some of the shit I did Have drying to see how that comes out. Then some pastes.

I end up spending way too much time just using up the oils I’ve made. As a result I now have a lovely variety of fried nonsense in my bank, and I remember that I haven’t been making salt. So I have a variety of unseasoned fried nonsense. I wasn’t using salt for my death taters, so --. Do I register some heat transformed toxins as “salty”? A question for another time.

I make a snack tray, grab a jar of tea, and transfer to my bed, climbing in before I realize I don’t want to deal with crumbs in bed, so I transfer outside and set up on the steps.

“Drink, food, cushions...?” I’d rather a mat than an actual pillow, and end up with a nice soft, crushed woven reed mat. “Sweet.” I make myself comfortable and stare off towards my shit shack. “Now where was I?”

I think I was on Devour bullshit? I did the faster absorption, got in trouble, went back to check the other options --. Oh! And then was told not to so I went all the way back to see how Thousand Valleys fucked me with all their awesome gifts and a life ending interest rate.

I grab a chip, -- it’s amazing that the excess oil got recollected into my bank for later. No waiting or blotting or draining. Yay! -- and crunch into something that’s tingly, salty, and feels like salt and vinegar chips without the over-powering taste. Not bad. These I can handle. What are they though?

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

Logs say... Sliced Death Bean fried in Shiver Thorn oil. Not bad. I eat another one, try to chase it with tea, and it somehow kills the sweetness of the tea, making it a better match. Gods only knows what these things would do to a hunan body.

So... Silk production instead of camouflage. I pick another chip at random, this one tastes like lightly salted ‘tater chips. Pass. Would prefer more salt. What are you? Sliced Shiver Thorn in Death bean oil? No shit? There’s no tingle, no nothing. So Death Bean --. No, pretty much any poison neutralizes Shiver Thorn. Huh. The thinly sliced Shiver Thorn has a nice crunch to it, but I’ll have to work on the taste. I grab a lite salt and lite vinegar and crunch them together – the shiver thorn is definitely crispier, -- and keep reading.

I got Lacerate pretty early, but I don’t remember what I used that on. I remember eating through the screens and stuff --. Oh! Is that when I cut through Demon Web Net Leaf thingy? Yeah! It’s Demon Web when it’s still fleshy, and just net once it’s stripped. Don’t remember it tasting like much, but I got that Lacerate pretty --. Instead of Stab or Siphon.

Wait. Why? Siphon I understand. Don’t want me going all ‘skeeter on folks, but what about Pierce. Being able to cut something up seems a lot more dangerous than a weak pierce. Or is it so I could eat the net?

I’m still ignoring Silent Howl, mostly because there’s so much shit to go through without him trying to distract or misdirect me. I’ll see what’s what then ask him questions. Weave instead of Enshroud, -- got it later anyway, so fuck you, -- and Ram instead of Pounce. Think I got that anyway, too. Nyeh nyeh!

I stick my tongue out and make faces despite the fact that Silent Howl and Thousand Valleys are unrepresented. I nibble on a bit of fried Dragon-headed eel skin, scales still attached, and it’s like knock off pork rinds with a light citrus finish. Ah. Fried in Shiver Thorn oil. Does cooking shiver thorn just destroy it’s citronella-iness and make it just citrusy? Does poison have nothing to do with it? I like the meaty, citrusy chip, so that’s definitely an again. I gulp down some tea at the remembrance of over indulging in salty foods in human form and return to “my” Skill selections.

There’s a sudden surge of heat related resistances, and I wonder if this is when I ate the Fire naner or when I was introduced to Maiden’s Blush. Either way I made quite a few gains in such a short period of time. The pain is dampened now, but I remember thinking I was going to burn to ash --. Wait. Was this from the spicy sausage incident? In Resounding Dragon’s room? Dragon’s Resounding Shout. Don’t care. I’ll call her Emo Lady. I’ve done it before and I’ll go back to it.

I have no idea who dragged that correction out, but they better stop before I stop even trying to use real names. Where was I? I crunch on some lightly floured, fried Dragon-headed eel slivers. Doesn’t taste like fried chicken, and I’m definitely missing a lot of seasonings, but the texture is right. Good to know.

I lean forward as I read the next skill changes. Water Retention? And it’s pretty high level. Aren’t bugs naturally good at retaining water? What the fuck happened here? Water Retention instead of another attempt at unlocking Siphon... Why did I need water retention? Was it from the heat? I was eating fire essence a bit, got resistances, then something with retaining water. Weird.

Someone shouts to get my attention. I chug more tea, dust my hands, then turn inwards. There’s a man with over robes as a jacket over his over robes, with what might be more robes or underrobes. Just layers. He’s waving at me excitedly while holding a big ass book with actual thick binding, not a scroll or wooden drying mat that someone decided to right on, but an actual tome.

“You were drugged with Lunar Nectar! You didn’t die, but you were severely dehydrated, and you nearly lost all need for water for extended periods of time,” he says, beaming widely as he closes the book.

“The fuck are you reading?”

I vaguely remember getting drunk, but I think it was from Shimmering Steel’s cup. He hisses in disappointment, fanning the thought away, but I get to retain the memory. Didn’t even know that was a fear until now.

“You were put in a restraining cage and drugged, then sent to an arena. They expected you to die after realizing you were adapted to cold and fire. You didn’t now how to use Absorb or intentionally consume souls yet, but they didn’t know that you wouldn’t,” he continues. He sounds legit upset that I forgot how I wound up at the arena. “They were very upset and very happy when you killed Heavenly Armada.”

“Happy that I gave them so much face, upset because ‘oh, shit, it killed a dragon’?” I guess and he sags in relief before nodding energetically.

“That massive influx of Qi and dragon essence allowed you to finally ascend to your next form. Before that most of your energy was wasted on silk production,” the man says, looking upset for me.

We’re immediately swarmed by people who rail at the man saying that my silk production was the only thing keeping me alive, and how I became famous in the first place, so how dare he discount all the hard work Thousand Valleys put into raising me. I’m tempted to just attack and consume them all in an indignant rage. I’m even angrier as I realize I’m aware enough to understand where they’re coming from. Doesn’t make it right, but it was done, and it did work.

I thank the man, clapping him on his shoulder before remembering that the book was bothering me. Before I can say a word Aunty swings around, hooking my arm, and just bulldozing her way through the crowd.

“Honestly! I tell you we’re expanding your library, and you think it’s a waste? How do you think you’re finding your information so quickly? Hmm?” she hounds me, lunging forward and waiting for my answer, somehow holding the awkward pose while still dragging me along. She relaxes, shaking her head and sucking her teeth. “You have all this information just crammed loosely in your ‘Logs’, a transcription of the Heavenly Records, and you complain that we’re making it easier to find. Hmph!”

Oh~! Library. I don’t know why I thought they were just making a place to put their tabloids and old newspapers, pretty much anything with writing on it. I thought they were making some weird sort of museum for their lives. A memorial. Wait. The books aren’t real. They’re collated data of my Logs... The swords...?

Oh! Blueprints! What I have in this inner inner space is a collection of information and the souls. Not actual weapons and silks and stuff. There’s important stuff I can look up and use, and then random miscellaneous garbage in the dump warehouse. This isn’t just another more inaccessible void.

Judging from the collective groans and the fact that a lot of people are just shambling away, I guess I was supposed to have already figured this out. How? Why? Why would I think that I’m in my head and soul when I thought that my void was already in my head and soul? I’m no trained cultivator or genius! Why would I just assume I’ve got an army of souls helping me think better just ‘cause. I’m treating them like real people! Should I just think of them as errant thoughts? Should I get rid of the clutter and just think for myself.

I cross my arms and glare lightly as suddenly everyone wants to congratulate me on reaching new insights while complimenting how handsome and beautiful I am. I roll my eyes and gesture for Aunty to keep taking me to the Library.