I wake up, one arm folded under my head, the other arm extended, drinking gourd loosely held in my hand, and no idea where I am. I'm leaning against a table, I'm sitting on a couch, I appear to be in a sitting room, there's a glass storage cabinet with various drinking cups, saucers, and plates, and more seating and display cases around the room. A study maybe? There are other people in the room, none of them too close, and someone nods at me, before staring straight forward, hands on their knees, just jiggling their leg. Nervous? Am I at a doctor's office? Is this a reception room?

"Hey! You're awake!" Nate booms, raising his hands, both of them, and walking towards me.

"And you have your hand back," I narrow my eyes at him. "Don't want it anymore?"

His grin slowly falls, his steps slowing before Freckles sprints around him and up to me.

"Hi! There's a whole application and testing process, but you were with us on a hunt, so it counted for a lot," Freckles reassures me, steering me around a pouting Nate.

"You did quite well and managed to contribute, even if you didn't manage to get first place," Nate grumbles and I don't know if he's consoling me or being snarky. "If you want to contribute any of the bodies to the guild you'll gain rank and access to more resources."

"Isn't it better for Kisandera to eat the spirit beasts?" Freckles looks back and forth between us. "To further their cultivation?"

"I fully intend to consume them," I reassure the kid. "I'd like to learn how you process the parts you consider less edible."

"You can actually take on jobs where you process things brought in, either for requests or personal materials!" Freckles beams at me. "You can get reputation towards your rank from those jobs, too!"

I thank Freckles as he explains that we're in the administrative building, a place where people have formal meetings. There's a library and a shop for less standard resources, luxury items as it were. He points out that there are items specifically for the many spirit beasts who had attained a hunan form and work with them, a large, muscular man with thick eyebrows, slit pupils, fangs and a tail staring unblinking at everything as he heads in the direction indicated. Huh.

-*He doesn't mess with people when they're in hunan forms], does he?*- I ask Freckles, 'cause Nate didn't stop playing around even after the miasma bubble thing.

"He says spirit beast are less inclined to tolerate his jokes in hunan form. Something about you all finding it more stressful than your natural forms. You're more likely to lash out without thinking," Freckles stammers, shrugging. "Something about being proud in a hunan form."

-*If he wouldn't do it to another hunan what makes him think we'll tolerate it?*- I point out. -*It's not about pride, it's the lack of respect.*-

"What's the difference?" Freckles ask, head tilted to the side.

-*Why do we warrant less consideration?*- I ask him, honestly. I'm a person, same as him, so why would it be okay to do things that would humiliate me as a person?

I get to watch the wheels, well oiled though they may be, spin. I'm really hoping he goes through his memories and sees the way people treat spirit beast, which warrant respect, apparently, and the way they treat people, animals, low beasts, and higher beings. We don't want to be worshipped, at least I don't, but show some fucking respect. Just because I'm not hunan doesn't make me not a person, and if taking on a shape that makes people understand that is the only way to get some people to realize it, well that sounds like a failing on their part. The world does the weird flinch thing, expanding and constricting, and Freckles glows softly.

"Ah... Thank you for your instruction..." he mutters, sounding less him and more like who he's going to become.

I hope I did a good. He continues the tour, more thoughtful, less energetic, but still considerate to the fact that I might not need the same facilities as the others. There really are a lot of spirit beasts, or not as many hunans, in this place. I know that there was a nursery where I was, where they were breeding and raising different things, but I never got more information after they took me out of the building. I don't even know where the other --. Scratch that. If the tonin farm was anything to go by, they just used them for their produce then turned them into food or batteries after. And the stuff they couldn't safely dispose of? Dunno what happened before or after me.

-*Thank you for your instruction,*- I say to Freckles as he explains some of the more esoteric facilities to me.

I don't know if I need to vent anything, or how to control it if I do, but there are places for that. And there's no miasma. They manage to keep the elements separated, filtered and siphoned to various artifacts or trinkets which can then be sold. Spirits have a way to dump their energy and earn reputation so that they don't mutate or go on rampages. Neat.

-*I'm not sure how or when I dump my energy,*- I admit to Freckles who blushes and fidgets, refusing to make eye contact. Is this an everybody poops, but don't talk about it, thing, or is it something closer to menstruation? -*I think I dump multiple elements, or they bleed from me like shed.*- I pause as I remember the lotion that knocked me on my ass. -*Guess I need to visit the shop after all...*-

"It might be better for you to speak to some of the other spirit beasts," Freckles stammers, still avoiding looking at me. Periods it is. "They'll be able to help you figure out your situation better."

"Thanks for the advice," I drawl. I don't want to laugh at him, but it's awkward and adorable.

"Wait," he blinks, focusing on me and losing all embarrassment. "I thought you were a Queen? Doesn't that make you a girl?"

"I am both," I shrug. What am I supposed to say. "I am neither and both. I can't sire or birth, but I can spawn advisors. They don't appear to work for me though..."

I narrow my eyes as I process that maybe I didn't spawn the triplets, Silent Howl did, and they were doing exactly what he wanted them to do. So, memories, what did you --.

Feeding. Help me.

I blink, wait, and then take a minute to process. That's the message I sent out? What the fuck? That's it? Wow, okay, that's super open to interpretation. ... Does explain why they started eating the swarms... Oh, my gods. What? That's so vague. So. What? Does that mean that as long as I was eating they could do whatever they wanted? How's that include killing me? I don't think the payment matched the job, but wow was that a great opportunity.

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And that's why they were so pissy? I send out a hiring sign to the aether, "Feeding. Help me." They get here, eat, then I keep asking them to do so much stuff that was outside of their job description. Oh, gods... Then I Karened them and told them to do their jobs. No...! I am the asshole! I am the asshole. But not the father.

There's an aethereal job board? And I accidentaly-ed it how? So... The triplets were disembodied, recently deceased, or free floating urges that I gave life to? I hired ghosts. I...

"What is this world?" I veer off and sit on the side of the road, elbows propped on upraised knees, my head in my hands, just feeling not okay.

I cut off the triplets, who aren't triplets, which explains why their features are so drastically different. I influenced them, yeah, but they're not made of just me. They needed a shit ton of Qi and essence to maintain human form, but does that go towards their sentience as well? When I got out of the picture did they turn into blobs of goo, insects, or lose physical form completely? Is Thousand Valleys haunted now or did they keep them on retainer? They couldn't handle miasma, supposedly, so are they just trapped on a tonin farm?

And I know I can be pretty blase about killing people, but what would happen if they had managed to kill me? Would they divvy up my energy? If I die does all the stuff in my bank just drop? I'm getting conflicting information from my internal sources. Stories of all the treasure I have being placed in the space I occupied, and people who killed bank bugs killed this way. Stories of tearing the little spatial area I keep my stuff in, it sucking in stuff from around my corpse into some collapsed garbage compactor that can't be shut off, but the door can be closed. Even stories of the treasures being lost forever because the door, me, would no longer exist.

I killed the bus that was the beetle king in the bug prison, and he just 'sploded. Did he dump stuff later or is it trapped like a hidden treasure near his body? Is there a special organ that can be turned into a key to access the space? Is the job board read by energy condensed from these trapped voids gaining sentience and looking for a way out?

"Am I the pop star this world deserves, even if I'm not the one it needs?" I mumble, flopping onto my back.

I get up and wander around, Freckles long gone. Until I find the answer I can make as many obnoxious guesses I want and it won't fix or explain anything. I'm not gonna not think about it, but that doesn't mean I can't try to be productive in the meantime. Now where's the guild mission board? I can go to the store and window shop until I find someone who can refresh me on where the board is. Might even run into another hunan form I can ask about puberty.

I'm snickering to myself, knowing I'm going to make it as awkward as I can, and get blindsided by Nate calmly blocking my path with a polite open expression. He didn't stand off to the side, doesn't try to walk with me, doesn't say a word. Just. Stands right in the way. I punch him in the face. It's not a very good punch, I didn't hurt my hand or his face, but it's startling enough that he recoils, stumbles backwards, and he's off balance enough that I can push him one of my legs behind his, knocking him on his ass off the path. Behind him hatchet holds her hands up in surrender, keeping them pulled in tight as she shuffles out of the way, Joe standing off to the side, arms crossed, face blank. Freckles is back and standing off to the side, letting out the saddest little chuckle and the sickliest smile.

"Don't just block the path," I call down as I keep walking, nodding to the others in acknowledgement.

That's a good point. They said I got admitted to the guild, gave me a little tour, but I don't have a badge or anything. So. Administrative office to double check if I'm actually registered as a member or a pet, and make sure I'm registered as a person. After making sure there're no weird stipulations like I have to give them 10% of anything I produce, regardless of when I do it, or that they're allowed to store so much stuff in my bank at any given time.

" ♪ I'm not your beast of burden, ♪ " I sing to myself before noticing Freckles, Hatchet and Joe following me. "And what are you doing?"

"Nate suggested we invite you on a mission we're running," Freckles warbles looking a little green. "He wasn't supposed to block your path, though..."

"It's an extermination mission," Hatchet explains, stone faced. "The client is a homeowner with some kinda mole tearing up their garden. They sent wolves to dig it up, and it ate one, so they figure it's a job for hunters. At least fighting cultivators instead of mages, sorcerors or scholars."

"You'd be surprised what you can do with the right poison," I murmur, thinking of the various ways to poison a creature to cause face physical degradation, utilizing the Qi enriched corpse as a fertilizer. Depends on the crops there are any number of pesticides that don't just work on plants or animals.

"What was that?" Hatchet frowns at me, eyebrows bunching.

"Nothing important," I frown. Because it's more baseless speculation until I get more information.

And practice. Because what works for Silent Howl might not work for me. Back to the whole processing and verifying specific plants and herbs based on senses that pick things up differently. Once I get it down I can probably manufacture most of the poisons in my void space. Might even just have a meal all prepped that will do the job nicely. And as far as I can tell my senses in bug form are the same as my senses in hunan form, so that's one less complication to worry about.

"Sure." I'm not against working together, I just have to beat some bad habits out of Nate. "I'm gonna keep checking him whenever he does something obnoxious."

"It's your right," Freckles squeaks.

"Why are you so uncomfortable? What aren't you telling me? What else did he do?" I demand, freeing my arms. I can sacrifice a limb if they come at me.

It'd be a great way to get physical contact. No silk needed.

"You shouldn't be able to do that..." Freckles says tactfully.

"Running River has a special affinity for spiritually sensitive creatures. Spirit based entities can't hurt him. No matter what. Someone said he registers as a part of you," Hatchet interrupts, saying a lot and somehow not explaining anything.

"Cultivating and getting stronger involves doing a lot of things that make you uncomfortable," I frown. Who in the hells hasn't hurt themselves? "If you can't ignore the pain or make the sacrifices needed, how can you become a cultivator?"

I try to imagine how horrible it would be to not get stronger from all the Tiger and Blush Blossoms. Just painful death. For no reason. Or crippling agony forever for no reason...

"Ugh," I shudder.

"Not like that," Hatchet waves away the stench of my reasoning 'cause what did she mean then? "Imagine cutting off your own hand for no reason."

I raise my hand, curious. If I had something to drain to help me heal I could do it. I wonder what I taste like. Technically I don't need the whole hand. I shrug, bite off one of my fingers, flinching as I chew. I taste like bacon, and chocolate hazelnut. Not bad, but weird.

Devour

Achievement Unlocked

Know Yourself I

You've achieved a total of 5000 reputation points!

Achievement +100!

Now what'd I do? I ignore the horrified looks to check the Smorgas-Board. So...?

Know Yourself I Requirements [Hidden]Hurts So Good I Continue to eat something that hurts you and become better for it Consumed I Willingly ingest a piece of yourself

I feel like maybe I shouldn't tell anyone about this...