I sigh, think about working on the dehydration chamber, nearly dismiss that train of thought, then remember that I’ll be saving on energy I could spend bitch slapping people when it’s time to stop being polite.

I storm over to the shit shack to see if the brambles are growing up, and see that they’re getting thicker, but they’re parallel to the ground. My bad. How do I stand them up? Limp-vined... Fucking... I’m so mad, but If I wasn’t so tired I probably would’ve snatched her shit before she could think about snatching mine. Instead I was all understanding, ‘cause why? She wasn’t doing anything to earn half as much face as I gave her. I gave her so much face I’m at a net deficit.

I check my Logs to see what the gardeners said about cultivating River Oak. I swear there’s --. Yeah, no, there’s probably lots of things called River Oaks by lots of different people for different reasons. Fair. I huff and keep reading.

So... I look for one end of the bramble so I can trace it to know which side is the root and which side is the “top”. They’re supposed to start out parasitic, but I put the brambles with some shiver thorn, ‘cause brambles, and some thorny bushes, because brambles. So are they just chilling with the homies, or did I set up some weird symbiotic --. Nope, they’re mutating.

I’ve circled around the entire fucking fence, pretty sure it got destroyed, but now Ive got some mutated fruit, nut, berry, flower thorn hedge. Did the pieces grow back together? How am I supposed to practice green dehydrating? Did they cover what the other stuff does? Where the fuck did the fruit come from?

I glower at what appears to be a green pear, my brain hard stopping before finishing my thought, and I know it’s me. I sigh, turn to where my Golden Pear tree should be, and just stare. I thought the bears took it. The thought that they just knocked it down or did something that left behind the roots to join with whatever the hells this is in some kinda twisted miasma chimeric orgy kinda hurts. Like, if they stole the tree that wouldn’t be as bad as finding out they just destroyed it. Why’d they destroy it? What’d it look like before it--.

-Gyack!- I flinch, bringing my arms to my chest as I stumble away, staring with eyes wide the fuck open.

It didn’t get me, but I swear the hedge just pulsed with electricity. There was an arc and a pop and everything. There’re cheers from the peanut gallery and lines of fireworks and crowns from Silent Howl, and going to my Logs better tell me what the fuck, ‘cause I’m so fucking tired I could cry. Why does this shit keep happening?

I wake up with my head resting on Dead Aunty’s lap. When’d I go to sleep? She’s gently patting my silk, and I’m just curled up in a ball, shivering. What the hell? I struggle to sit up, -- why am I cold? -- trying to gather myself, and figure out what happened. I’m not a bitch, I’ve got resistances out the ass, so new question. How am I cold? I feel sick like I just did a big project, but I was shutting things down, wasn’t I?

“You need to cut down on your fish farm. You’re not just breeding regular fish, your breeding and sustaining treasures. That takes a lot out of you,” Aunty mumurs, her breath warm on my ear as she gently pats my shoulder in time with her words. “Reduce your kitchen. Stop drying foods until you are ready. Quickly. Work on these things first.”

I nod at her, thinking I should lay back down. Problem is she was able to breathe into my ear because I’m already lying down on her lap again. What the fuck...? I take a breath, try really hard to focus on the fish farm until I can remember what I’m supposed to do again...

“Stop breeding fish,” Aunty says. Go ghostly cheat sheets.

I stop fish production, I’ve got a lot of cool ones I need to document before they get wiped out by the next biggest baddest entree. Wasn’t there something about seaweed and moss...?

“Good. Now I know you don’t want to hear this, but stop drying foods. Just for now.”

I was going to get rid of my dehydrators. I have a plant for that now. I nod, stumbling to my feet and transferring to my kitchen, walking around and touching things to turn them off and reabsorb them. I notice that I’m grilling fish and wonder why the fuck I’d automate grilling fish. There are so many ways to prepare that shit, and I’ve got super fancy shit that can be eaten raw. How wasteful.

I stop the automated cooking for everything. No more milling, no more grilling, no more drying, no more tea. For now. I’ll have to bring tea back up as quickly as I can. The rest of this shit can wait.

I transfer back to bed. To bed? Was I in bed? Wasn’t I meditating? Aunty was there. I fall into bed and pass out, my head throbbing. I raise my head, frowning as I try to remember if I banked Tepid’s body or not. I try to Will it to me, note her standing with her back to me, and bank her before she can get any ideas. I can, but I’m not supposed to be able to. I narrow my eyes as I try to remember why before shrugging and passing back out.

“Shh...” Aunty reaches out to me, walking me to the edge of the stairs before she sits down. I sit down beside her before resting my head on her lap again. “Remember your funny hedge? The one with all the different plants making one plant? You need to make sure it doesn’t spread. You have more than enough food. You can stop food production, just until you wake up. You’ll wake up sooner if you do.”

Oh~! I’m tired because I made too much stuff to make food again. Tch! I was just fine and now I’m collapsing? That’s some bullshit. Oh. Miasma! I’m making a lot of fancy shit! Waow~! My bad. Good looking out. I pat Aunty’s knee. As she waves at someone racing up the steps towards us carrying a covered bowl.

She order soup? For me or her? Am I sick? When’s the last time I had chicken noodle.

She shushes me, waving for me to sit up before offering the bowl to me. When I grab it she removes the lid, and it’s soup, just not chicken noodle. It’s some kinda herby fish dumpling soup with nuts in it. It weirdly hits the spot, being a nice broth soup with gentle flavors and some things to chew, while also having strong notes of something that makes me recoil. That’s how I know it’s good medicine. It tastes like it’s good for you.

I wake up with Aunty trying to pull the bowl out of my hands. I look down, see I’m halfway through, and just drink it down. I chew up the dumplings and they’re juicy enough that I don’t need to wash them down, and I’m even more grateful that bug mouth is built different when I don’t just choke, and start coughing with my overly full mouth. I hand back the bowl, lie back down, and pass out again.

I wake up in my bed, tucked under the sheets with a bowl on a nightstand, wondering if I was possessed by the ghosts or if I just had a fever dream. Did I hallucinate being fed medicinal dumpling soup? I feel better, well-rested and clear-headed.

-Fuck, how long was I asleep?- Did I really have to jump head first into some drama before I went back to sleep? Fack!

I remember wanting to have a good soak/snack room off of the kitchen. It could be under the house, but should the kitchen be under the house and the soak under the pots, or the kitchen under the pots and the soak be under the house. I like the idea of things stewing in either location and transfer to the newly Willed bath underneath my house.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

I’m wearing robes and slippers, have a towel draped over my arm, and a tray of snacks in my offhand. The room comes together as I move. A large tub in the center with a table set into the corner on a raised platform that also adds height to the tub to allow more depth.

Big mostly empty room. I sip on some herb broth that tastes suspiciously like the medicinal fish soup in my dream. I can imagine heated stones in the corner of the room with some kind of medicinal water. Pretty sure someone knows some physical reinforcement steams that I can benefit from.

Maybe more soaking tubs? Can have this Qi--. I look down and realize I’m soaking in cloudy water with nuts, berries and leaves.

Ooh! My own broth soak. I might can sell this to Red Silk, but what am I soaking in? I shrug. I can sample it after I finish my other broth.

I sit back and just relax, letting my mind unwind. Physically, I’m fine. Mentally, I was better until I remembered what waking up feeling better usually means. I sigh, leaning back and trying to get back to that post coma freshness.

I hum and wonder if I should put some of the seaweed dragons in tubes in the corners as aquarium pieces. They seemd chill, but I don’t think they’d appreciate being boiled. I could probably keep the water cool, but what if they start reproducing --.

I hear myself grunt. I wait for whoever hit me to show themselves. No one starts monologuing at me, so I open my roster, and no one’s in me.

-Phrasing,- I grumble, sitting up and resting my elbows on the side of the tub. I look around, confused, trying to figure out who punched me. -I swear someone just --. I turned all my shit off!-

I leap out of the medicinal soak, slide across the floor, run back to drink a handful, -- don’t forget to take your medicine! -- then splash down into my fish farm. There are big fish, little fish, glowy fish, and standing fish, and all of them don’t look particularly fishy...

Long, sinuous forms, some with arms. Stubby, wide forms, with arms. Some random dragon staring at me as I look around.

I feel goosebumps, my scales rippling as I watch what feels like a cat or dog in mini-dragon form watching me watching them. They don’t move. Or blink. I do. I’m not gonna risk being uncomfortable. More uncomfortable. I blink again and they slowly turn away, moving without doing the weird snaking movement. It just drifts sideways out of nowhere, eyes slowly losing focus before it turns, straightening and still not swimming, and still moving away.

I transfer to my washing basin to scrub while staring into the distance. Why was that so intimidating? I know why it was embarrassing, but I kinda don’t want to fuck around and find out. Why was it watching me? How was it moving?

-Did I just get moonwalked on by some jumped up mackerel?-

I need a win.

What are they doing at Red Silk?

I dress in tangerine under robes, the color bright and refreshing and not gold, then wear black to red to tangerine over robes with a blood red to tangerine swallow-tail butterfly embroidered on my back. I am stealthy subtle escape artist! Want a piece? Stare in confusion at your full hands as I dance away. Oh... you got a piece of me? Is it everything you’ve ever wanted?

“No!” Fashion Disaster points at me with his cup before setting it down like it’s punctuation. Did I catch him before he put on his makeup?

Also. ‘Scuse the fuck outta you?

I transfer to what should be a lab, wind up standing in the weird sitting room hall of mirrors facing Fashion Disaster on his little throne, and he just tried to shut me down. First off, how’d I get here? Secondly, how did he know I was here? But most importantly --.

I turn and walkaway. So I can’t transfer around? Good thing my legs still work. So how’s that “no” gonna work?

I wander around, unopposed, peeking behind curtains until I find the door. I pause when I remember that Fashion Disaster doesn’t wear makeup, then turn back to see that his skin isn’t “am I pretty?” princess painted all the travesties of the rainbow. His skin isn’t a bright peach. he’s more of a dark apricot versus a dark beige. His hair is a lighter dark brown, pretty sure it was like ink stained black before...

He just keeps sipping tea, giving me plenty of time to note the changes to his complexion. His hands are kinda splotchy, which is weird. Did he use the Soak as a hair and face wash? Is the rest of him still nightmare clown? What’s going on?

I tap my finger on my lips, eyes narrowed in focus, my other arm crossed loosely over my stomach, shrug, then turn and try the doorknob.

Now he’s getting pissy. What happened to Mr. Cool Guy? I ignore him as he tries not to get up while shouting.

Heh.

I use Ultravision -- When’d I stop doing it naturally? Thought that was my default? Was that proof of power saver mode? And... On! -- to see him waving a hand at me, keeping himself seated with a death grip on the arm of his chair. I lift the handle. Nothing. There’s a weird click as I push down, but I don’t feel it coming back up.

So... I’m supposed to stop myself? Brain feeds me a weird “match the arrows” when I test the door again.

“ ♪ Dun dun-nuh duh, dun nuh nuh... ♪ ” I sing along while jiggling the doorknob, and I am a little disappointed when the door swings open. “I was doing a thing...”

Fashion Disaster -- Tch! He even dresses normally now. Boring... -- bellows, leaping to his feet and reaching towards me, but he stumbles, looking back in surprise. I yelp, slamming the door behind me as I race down the hall, thankful that he forgot he shackled himself with a death grip.

“Who’s cool now, dumbass!” I shout before the breath is knocked out of me. I watch as Little Sis goes flying, literally sliding across the smooth stone floor, looking as stunned as I probably did when I wound up in the private throne room of Little Lord.

Hmm... That might work.

I jump over Little Sis, bending down to slide her in front of the door to slow Little Lord down, then I’m off. I can’t transfer? Can you catch me? There are lots of cultivators, true, and they’re very strong, true, but the fast ones are sneaky, and probably out doing all the foot work.

Shitty dead clan hidden behind a low-tier sect with no members says ...? Listen to the silence...

“Hey!”

I cackle as I keep running. I got my silence, bitches!

“Suck it! Gyack!”

Fucking Noisy Dog. The little bastard came around the corner, face set, jumped to clothesline me, -- short fucker! -- and, I don’t know how the fuck, but I feel like I need an adult. I’m wrapped up, I don’t know how, -- tits not supported at all by all the extra rope. What kinda knots are these? -- my legs and arms bound to my back and sides. Slimy Smile is cursing as they bundle me up, and I still don’t know what the fuck happened.

I transferred, left the room, ran down the hallway and around the corner, now I’m being carried down another hall away from the throne room, and the fact that the place is empty isn’t so funny anymore... I snort, grabbing up both of them as I try to transfer to my void. Hello, transfer trap!

“Aw... Tch!”

That didn’t work. We actually made it into my void. I look around to make sure I’m not just outside, but it looks like I’m in my void. I try to transfer to Red Silk, and we’re back in the sitting room with Little Lord, head lowered, pinching the bridge of his nose while Little Sis whines.

“Yes!” Let’s see you fuckers explain this! ♪ I don’t need to fight, but feel free to fight over me... ♪ Noisy Dog immediately turns tail and runs to the wrong door.

“We caught the Catastrophe!” Slimy Smile immediately bows down, turning to look at Noisy Dog before realizing we’re not near him.

For his part Noisy Dog immediately stops before getting to the curtain, looking back as he comes to a shaky stop. His eyes bounce back and forth between the Little Lord and Lady before ♪ oh, so smoothly ♪ wandering back to stand next to Slimy Smile. The eye roll on Slimy Smile is so much stronger than the angry confusion on Little Lord’s face. I watch Little Lord as he watches Slimy Smile and Noisy Dog, eyes still bouncing between them, brows furrowed, -- this bitch painted on thicker eyebrows. I knew they used makeup! -- body still angled towards Little Sis. His neck is gonna be stiff as fack.