-*Getting mad at me for being broken like I did it on purpose when you joke about being subscribed to the "Sandy Show",*- I jazz hands to the best of my ability before going back to scrolling the food menu.
I've got simple tastes. Should I just make bowls, mash some tubers and fish, then bank them? Pull them out when I'm ready to eat?
-*One: I call it the Chaotic Caterpillar Carnival, because you are a shit circus, no doubt about it.*- A small flame, like a mini firestorm swirled into being when he said "one". Is this bish making bullet points for his list? -*Two: ,*- another flame. Fack. -*You managed to fuck up something as simple as spinning silk, becoming one of the Top 100 silk producers. How the fuck did you imbue them with will?*-
-*What are you talking about?!*- Ruining my appetite! -*Imbue what with will? My flying silk things? And probably the same thing I do everything else!*-
I will some bowls out of my ass. Technically it's from resources I've gathered, will and essence, but essentially the same thing, pull out some tubers, there are still so many despite the mess of meals the emperor made, and --.
[Maul Successful]
[Successful Use: 2/100]
[Con. Qi -10]
[Karma 10]
[Aura of Suppression Successful]
[Successful Use: 15/100]
[Con. Qi -90]
[Karma -900]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,840,769/24,001,429]
[Current Qi: 574,508/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 96,005,718/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,594,621]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
-- pulp them. I'm not as good as the emperor so the stuff generally lands on the bowls more than in them, so I have to scoop the mash into and off of some of the bowls. The ones that look good enough, I bank, the rest I try to fill to the best of my ability, then I collect the mess, rearrange the bowls, then dump the mess over the bowls.
-*That! The attack not the banking. Or plating. Don't judge me! I'm not a cook... I focus on something and do it. Or I don't focus and do it. Either way stuff happens!*- Now I'm angry, frustrated, and embarrassed. And confused, 'cause I still don't know what I'm doing different.
-*How the shit are you imbuing Qi attacks with Will when you have no soulfire?*-
I glare up at the proxy to find out that the emperor's just a disembodied voice again. He doesn't even help out by bringing a proxy back out. Tch! How the hell is he still scrying me when I'm hidden?
-*How can you see through my aura suppression thingy?*- I shout when he doesn't explain what in the hells he means.
-*I can't unless I focus. That's when you start getting crispy...*- I swear I feel him narrowing his eyes at me.
-*But you keep looking dead at me!*- I smell bullshit!
-*No, I'm looking at a thin trace of wimble fart you let off. You shed scales, constantly. Kinda gross. Pretty. But gross.*-
I freeze. Da fuq he just say? Holy, shizballs. My scales come off and he's tracking the scale cloud instead of me? Fack! Wait. Why don't I see it? Oh. I do. And then I auto collect and eat it because there's bits of essence and I don't want it to turn into miasma... Holy shit! He can pick them up that quick?!
-*But. I clean them up.*- Smooth, me. Very smooth.
-*Yeah, but I'm lookin' for them.*- Not terrifying at all. Oh, no no no no~!
-*I feel pukey...*- Fack!
My embarrassment is not at all helped by the emperor cackling. At least he doesn't sound crazy any more. Unless he's always been crazy and he just broke a little earlier. Either way, he's back to normal crazy levels now. And stopped being helpful.
-*Oy! Stop being weird!*-
-*You first...*- Oy!
-*I will drink tea in front of you,*- I glare. It occurs to me I could have mashed the tubers in a basin and then filled bowls from there... Fack! -*And savor it!*-
-*Threatening me with bullshit for what reason...?*- Did I not say anything?
-*Explain what you mean about imbuing. How do you do stuff if it's not imbued?*-
-*You...*- I feel myself gagging, but I'm not gagging. Sympathy gagging?
-*When you do something special it gets imbued with essence and will. That's how you can change what direction it goes in, right?*- This is basic shit I had to learn. Why's he being weird.
-*You... Don't get to do that.*- He sounds hurt and offended.
-*You say, but I did.*- What'd I say?
-*People redirecting attacks when they miss their targets...? That's storyteller nonsense. Usually people will set up a fight at a location they already modified with weird traps and scripts in place ahead of time. They can aim an attack at someone, and, if it misses it might hit a trap they set up already, and look like it redirected, but it doesn't really.*-
-*So I'm legendary?*- Holy, shit. I'm a baby god thing...
-*No, you're a pain in the ass with janky control issues,*- he snaps. But there's no heat.
-*You sound as tired as I am,*- I point out, settling on another fruit and tuber puree made by his holiness. Frickin' advanced, tastey, artsy bull... -*I'm going to eat this bit of tastiness then turn in. Any other complaints will have to wait until I wake up.*-
Might as well check to see how I did on the Smorgas-Board.
Collect 5000 Void Qi 11,720/5000 Condensed Qi
Collect Energy I Completed
Void Palace expanded
Achievement 100+
Fuck me, when? But I just checked my stats and I only had more Qi. ... Didn't I? Fack! Now I'm more nauseous! Did I really look through all my info and tunnel on "that's a lot of nuts!" like everything else was the same? Didn't I just get a notification for skill use and I don't --.
I stop. Take a deep breath. And try to break out of my spiral. I stand up and do a slow spin, trying to see if I'm still a house on a hill. The cookhouse is still on a hill, but the hills are taller, and I think my area's wider. I can haz lakes?
Wait. I didn't bank cultivate! Did I? I was asleep but I don't remember having my bank open. Did I cycle in --. I gasp in excitement. I was eating in dude's soul space! But it didn't change anything. I stored that shiz for later, didn't I? ... Am I still digesting it? Am I gonna keep getting Void stuff from when I was in his void? Or did going into his void get me stuff?
-*I just finished a void quest, but I don't remember doing it, but I think I got credit for rampaging in dude's soul space...*-
-*Hardstop: WHAT?!*- My ears hurt and the world shakes. Fack! -*Sorry. No. Not sorry. You did what where?*-
-* ... *-
-*Don't you dare! I tell you why you're impossible. Tell me what you did, and I'll tell you how fucked up it is.*-
... Point.
-*I climbed inside of him after whittling him down, and there was this, like, bright white, not triangle, the pointy top and bottom with a square middle like two really tall pyramids with small bases smooshed together. Like a Seven Moons' info crystal, if you saw those.*- I wait for my mind to tell me what the shape is called, and either I have no information or I don't care as much as I want to. -*But it was glowing so I touched it, then I was in this weird hot spring place with some pretty boy with hair like a floral arrangement.*-
-*You climbed into his body and saw his soul space as a physical item that you touched, probably trying to eat it..., and you then gained access to his soul space, a place made of Will and the essence of creation, where you saw his mental or spirit self?*-
-*You say that like I know what the hell happened. I went into his body, tried to touch the crystal, I wasn't gonna eat it yet, then got inside his soul space. And drank his hot springs.*-
There's thunder, but I'm only stunned instead of shattered.
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-*You fucking interacted with his spirit self and his soul space representation? On a level you saw it? Not on what it actually was?*- Another phantom deep breath, and I groom after finishing my tastey meal, banking the bowl for reusing.
-*Remember how I was in weird clothes and everything was autumn 'cause you 'sploded my head?*- I hope it's not so common he doesn't remember. -*With the phoenix down lumberjack hiking clothes? I peeled those off like clothes and they turned into robes.*-
-*How the heck you gonna peel off energy?*- He snaps.
-*Try me, bih,*- I say with absolutely no heat, raising my forelimbs. Dress da baby!
I yelp as I'm swaddled in a smothering quilt of more plaid felt. The fuck is with the plaid? Who was he?
I cough, a buggy disgusted sigh crossed with a scoff, and wiggle, loosening the blanket before pulling it off. Once it's off it turns into a sheet of silky reddish-gold with a red tint. I place it on the ground and step to the side.
-*I don't remember the last time I took a nap...*-
-*I need one, too,*- I remind him, but it sounds echo-y. Does that mean he blocked me or that he's not listening anymore? -*Welp.*-
Basin. Pile of bowls. Fish in basin.
[Maul Successful]
[Successful Use: 3/100]
[Con. Qi -10]
[Karma 10]
[Aura of Suppression Successful]
[Successful Use: 16/100]
[Con. Qi -90]
[Karma -900]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,840,639/24,001,077]
[Current Qi: 574,507/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 96,004,308/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,594,621]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
Fish mash! I grab bowls and start scooping, licking the outside clean before banking the bowl of fish mash for later. Once the basin is practically empty I eat it, opting to just make a new one. A nice grooming session, feeling nice and full from eating emperor meal and snacking on my simpler nonsense, then I waddle my sleep ass in my kitchen house to turn in. I was productive.
I lay down in bed, under the covers, 'cause it's my bed and my sheets, and check to see what all's in the Smorgas-Board. Collecting. All of the quests are about having stuff. So what can I pick? There's a food one, and I do need to make some farmland. Cooking will push me into being productive. I hope. Sleepy accept!
Eat 10 Different Foods 11/10 Unique Foods
Collect Food I Completed
Void Palace expanded
Achievement 100+
I'll take the win. I open my bank screen and nod off.
I wake up cradling a barrel. A sealed barrel. And I'm eating it. I'm simultaneously disturbed and elated. I won't ever need can opener. Suck it!
But seriously... Where'd I get this? Thought I had wine barrels and stew pots. This is handy, but --. Why am I wondering.
I bring out a pot, a barrel, and a bowl of mashed tubers to snack on while I try to figure this shiz out. The pot has a white cloud bracketed Stew name, and, below that? Instead of race or school, it has two numbers. Number with a slash and a larger number. Is this based on the amount in the pot or is this the however many of whatever item I can have out of the amount of similar jars or stews...?
I focus on the jar, still hugging the barrel with one arm, and try eating from it. No dice. Um... I apologize to the barrel, telling it I'm just gonna go to the store for a soda, I'll be right back, then take my snickering ass over to the pot. One arm around it, I try to eat from it without removing the lid. First number goes down, second number stays the same. Huh. I give it a pat and bank it before heading back to the barrel.
-Gas station didn't have a special so I just came back. Wanna do nothing?- I climb back into bed and hug the barrel.
What's wrong with me?
I finish the barrel, think about taking out another jar, but I'm kinda full. Or not hungry. Same difference. I put away the food, look around, and see that there's another barrel. How long I was napping? Not napping. Qi condensing? Qi pyre building?
[Name: Kisandera “Kissy Kissy” or “Sandy”] [Affiliation(s): +Thousand Valleys, +Seven Moons, +Companion of the Sacred Phoenix Sovereign, +Inner Void Productions, +Wimble Sunrise, -Scarlet Silk Society] [Race: Celestial Void Moth Queen[Shattered] (Saint)] 🦋 [Current Form: N/A] [Current Realm: Shimmering(Tier 5)] [Current Karma: 95594208/107275977] [Master: Shimmering Steel] Will: 9597021 Rank: SS [Current Condensed Qi: 1840819/23898552] [Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k] Emperor: 7 Regent: 54 [Current Qi: 337473/5850300] King: 27 Dalin: 179 Block: 531 [Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St] Prince: 180 Denii: 155 Square hole Sq: 126 Reborn Count: 5 Kin: 105 Rnd: 1199
...
Would be nice if I remembered what the numbers were to compare them to. They're not low, except for the money, so I'm fine, right? Would be nice if there was a way for me to tell if they were going up or down other than rote memorization, but I'm not dying, I'm well-fed, I woke up in a bed indoors, so I'm gonna take the win and keep going.
... Where am I going?
Was there a specific board I was supposed to look at... Was I gonna look over my skills? I open the skills menu, see that the first number that catches my attention is nearly ten times over a hundred, out of a hundred, and close the window because I cannot deal with that nonsense. Am I supposed to divide the number by a hundred? Is it out of a hundred? I didn't get a good look for context, but I was having a good day. Just started, started off great, -- Remember me? Breakfast, lunch, dinner, question mark, in bed? -- and I'm not gonna let some math-ing garbage ruin that.
Speaking of garbage. I bring up my skills list so I can dismiss it again, pause to glare at the nonsensical numbers, dismiss it just to dismiss it again, then open up my bank.
Me am big petty.
Spatial storages. With numbers. Inventory levels or quality ranking? I need to keep emptying --. No! Was supposed to sort the stuff I already emptied. Fack! Ugh.
My energy drains as I think of the busy work. Yeah, I get to eat the garbage, but I don't know the value of things to figure out what's worth keeping. Do I have a Smorgas-Board quest for collecting spatial storages. I open the screen of same sized rectangles, realize that they're all collecting quests and I don't always get the specifics of how much of what, or what specifically, before remembering that I also don't want to deal with cheeky, random void quest bullshit.
No banking. No working. No questing. I'm full, so no eating. ... The fuck am I supposed to --.
I could go back to sleep... That bed was comfy. But no... Meh.
To the bank! 'Cause I can harvest, get garbage to eat, cycle garbage for Qi, and I don't have to move. Boom! Nailed it!
So... Barrels...? Why the fuck are the barrels made of shiver thorn? I scan through to see how much wood based food storage is made of shiver thorn. Not much. Just the one barrel I was remote chuggerating. So why was I on the only ew barrel?
...
I don't even bother ranting about being experimented on in my sleep. Gonna guess it was the emperor for the same reason I wake up to any weird nonsense. For science! So I probably maybe didn't lose years? But they usually give me a nod or something when I'm up again. Unless things have gone to shit.
I don't even bother ranting about how fucked up the kingdom is. I do snort at how jaded and cynical I'm becoming, and keep scrolling through the bank, in list form, because icons followed by name quantity then description is easier for me. I wonder what the others use. Don't care enough to find out. I've got tons of personal items and tools that might be worth something.
-This isn't very productive,- I grumble.
I've already harvested--.
-Farm!-
I've expanded my void with quests, right? I've got some information on how to farm. From multiple perspectives! Persephone, feral saint that she was, would put in requests, and for me I'd just feel hungry or thirsty to correspond with whatever shit the plants were taking out of me. My void. Me? Mmm. Don't like that.
Does every aspect of this world require something from you physically or spiritually? What's Qi? Body energy, spirit energy, or mental energy? Gasp! Emotional energy! Now I'm tired just thinking about constant emotional drain... No~...!
I sigh, clean up the room, then lie on my side on the bed, completely limp and devoid of purpose or energy.
-Wait, farms!-
Aren't I supposed to be better now? I ate the Big Four and a "minor" god-thing! How do I keep forgetting stuff? Maybe it's just a buggy -- err-- me reflex? Fack, I can't wait for the time I get to be just me again.