They seem okay...? Not sure how fast the food took out mama, but this is just -- oh. No. The things I thought were veggies were actually poison. Fack! I slowly look down, waiting to put the babies out of their misery, and it takes me a second to realize they're going from red and black to red, purple, and black. Um... No... I feel my eyes bulging as I slowly squat down next to them. They aren't having an easy time of it, but they're smelling less like blood and more like... Heran if I'm being honest. A kind of woody, incense-y musk. I liked it, but Heran said they were toxic. Might be one of the reasons they were so tolerant of me if they couldn't control it. Not many people they could turn to. Huh.

"Um... Hello, little not 'me's. I'm not your mom or your dad, but I can be your aunty for a little while..." I murmur, scritching them and running my hands around their constantly shifting forms.

I can feel their bones thinning, and their bodies seem to be lengthening. I'm really hoping it's not just a slow wasting death and they are young enough to not be locked in to any one element. But I don't know if that's how this works or just wishful thinking on my part. I sigh, Will a large pot out of stone, then, with information from the clan members who had to do menial tasks to accrue enough points to earn the right to use the guild resources, and information from the oldest Weaver sister, I bleed out the bodies that aren't Two-Weeks, potting the jar for storing later, and banking them to keep them fresh. A scoop of blood from the pot of cultivator's blood goes into the plate of mill and mash has the babies thickening up again, although they're still pretty long, no longer little balls. Progress?

So, daily diet, 'cause they're still eating. Check on the babies, give them a plate of blood and fish and milled nuts --. I stop making a mental list, standing to go mill nuts before I weave, then line their nest, with a small piece of a panel of blood silk. That done, hopefully it's warm, I head back to the house to go through the things in my bank to find out what are nuts and not just woody fruits or modified leaves. Counting on the information from Silent Howl and Two-Weeks I try to find any nuts that help with blood production. There are some, but I don't have any.

I learn that there are common seeds that can be ground down, if I have them, and more. There's quite a few things that can be ground down, filtered, then used as a fake milk. Do they consider it milk because it's white, because it's missing a lot of the things that I think make milks milk. Or maybe I just need to mill them more and not strain them? Reduce them to a nice powder? My pastes seem good enough... I drink some milled seeds and nuts, treating it like a milkshake. The texture is right, even if it's warm, and it doesn't taste bad to me, but my physiology is different. Would've been nice if I found out where Granin was. Could I visit him without getting found out by the Emperor?

I shift from my void, planning on sitting at the table and just eavesdropping while I go over my recent insights. Nate and Freckles are both standing near the desk, arms crossed, glaring at me. I make a face at them, sit down at the table, then wonder what would happen if I found whatever board or screen where the acknowledgement is for them. I don't know if I can just acknowledge them without meditating, 'cause I feel different, but it doesn't feel as good as when I get those cheese points.

Hatchet nudges my hip with her toes and I look up at her then look around in confusion. At some point in time I sprawled out on my back, hands behind my head, and I've just been taking up floor space. I swear I was just sitting. I sit up, yawn and stretch, heading to the bookshelf before getting yanked back after one step. I look back to Hatchet pointing at Nate who sits caddy corner to Freckles. Apparently Freckles was sitting on one side of the table, between the two of us. Were they talking to me? I need a nap bad.

"Whatever it is, please say it quickly, I have to bank sleep," I spit out, eyes wide, trying not to blink. I don't know if I'll do a long blink and fall asleep, but I don't want to risk it.

"Bank sleep?" Nate and Freckles exchange looks while Hatchet ignores us.

"Bank bugs don't move or run around much, but I do, and I have to go to sleep now to make up for it," I say, slipping into my void in the middle of the room, not even making it up the steps to my house.

I lay down in the yard, willing a shallow pond with plants Silent Howl knows are high in protein, fiber, and sugar, hoping the babies can sniff it out without drowning before I'm out. I wake up to one of the cubs tearing into my finger. Oh, right. I smell like a plump grub. I'm not awake but awake enough to see I'm in a pile of shiver thorn and the poor thing's practically gutted. Literally. It got disemboweled climbing through the thorns to get to me. I bank the thorns, get swarmed by a pack of ravenous, rotting pus buckets, drop Crimson Star's body on them, stripping it of all of the not naturally attached bits.

I palpitate the poor things, crudely stitching the guts of the most desperate, banking the infections and rot that they've had to endure, set down shallow bowls of blood for them to drink from, then upgrade it to a basin that I drop them in and fill with blood. I hack off Crimson Star's limbs and put them in the basin too, hoping that if the little ones do go to sleep, they don't pass out and drown in the blood. The basin isn't full, but they're still tiny. Staggering away I fall forward, dropping on my face and just nodding off again.

Another moment of lucidity and I get to hear one of the cubs screaming. I feel a burst of something, probably adrenaline, my head nearly splits apart, and I stumble to my feet, grimacing, as I try to find out what happened now. The tub's too short for it to climb into. I make another basin, much shorter, short enough for them to hop in and out of, put blood and shredded Crimson in it, empty the morass in the other basin next to it, just dumping it on the ground, then bank the no longer useful bin.

The babies I dumped out... There were 8 pups before. Now there are only three. I start crying, ashamed, guilty, sad, and afraid. I can't just give them to Joe or someone. Someone made them and they're gonna be experimented on one way or another, but they can't stay here. Experimentation would probably be on par for the shit they had to go through trying to figure out what was food on their own.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

I sit down, shakey, tired, sick. I'm not good enough to be awake. I shake more as I concentrate, trying to remember how to produce element from what's available, to make an orb.

[Orb Production Successful]

[Blood Orb Produced]

[Successful Uses 2/100]

[Qi -1000]

[Karma +1000]

[Current Condensed Qi: 1831174/23764796]

[Current Qi: 251282/957945100]

[Current Karma: 95059187/107275977]

[Max Will: 9579451]

[Mortal Wallet: 10E,27K,180P,154R,179Da,175De,105k]

[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10506St]

I tried to will it between my hands and I still puked it up. I felt it stretch my throat out, then my jaw, then plop into my hands instead of forming between them. How did I do that? Don't know. Glad it was so easy. I drop the blood orb I produce into the blood of basin. Basin of Blood. Lower case. I swipe a hand down my face, realize I'm covered with gore and pus and gods only know what, wander away far enough that they should choose the basin over me, then drop again.

I wake up, covered in awful, awful things, the pups cuddled up to my underside. I'm on my stomach in my natural form. Shit. Did they try to eat me again? Everything smells so bad. Is that why I reverted? I hear the shell of ew on me crackling, see it shaking, then notice the babies aren't doing much better. I groom myself quickly, the babies looking around in confusion before drowsily watching me. After I finish myself I work on them, knowing that I'll have to go back to cleaning myself. There's only three. Maybe the others are back at the nest.

After I clean them I check the basin. It's bad. I bank it for cleaning later, will a new one, fill it with fresh blood, Crimson torso, then --

[Orb Production Successful]

[Blood Orb Produced]

[Successful Uses 3/100]

[Qi -1000]

[Karma +1000]

[Current Condensed Qi: 1831174/23765046]

[Current Qi: 250282/957945100]

[Current Karma: 95060187/107275977]

[Max Will: 9579451]

[Mortal Wallet: 10E,27K,180P,154R,179Da,175De,105k]

[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10506St]

--out a new orb like a cherry on top. I nudge the pups towards it then trot back to the blood bush. There's something massive rotting and festering in the pond I made. So that's that mystery solved. At least one died there. There are three desiccated corpses in the bush, curled up in a pile. That's at least four bodies taken care of. There's either two in the pond or one's still unaccounted for. I bank the bodies, then head to the pond and bank that, checking for skulls, but apparently the pup or pups really did liquify. One last stop.

I head to the burrow I made for the blood family to the sound of weak crying. The sound makes me run faster to see another ball of skin and bones. There's no fur on it, but it doesn't look like it got poisoned and injured. It's so hungry though. I do my best to pick it up, using only my mouth, then race to the blood basin. I lay it on its side so that its nose is propped up out of the blood, and it starts suckling, still trying to call for help. I put it in a smaller basin, put blood in the basin, and shift it and Crimson's torso to the mill. I mill Crimson's torso into a meat paste with crushed bone bits, banking the bone shards and leaving the marrow, then shift that basin of ground Crimson back to the blood basin, carrying the starved baby with me. I add a couple of scrapes of Crimson into the blood for the pups then bank the rest for later.

The lone pup is already doing much better, trying to climb to its feet, eyes strained open, looking surprised. I put a little milled Crimson into the basin for it and it does its best to eat, gumming it as best it can. I set the basin down, the other cubs coming over curiously. I tense, still tired, still sick, and go up to groom the shaky pup as it stumbles around, hoping that the others recognize it and don't just think it's more food. After I groom it I go back and groom the others, 4 out of 8 pups survived. Pup cub bebes. Once they're done I slowly nod off while grooming me.

I wake up, on my back, being dragged backwards, by my wings, by one pup while the others circle around. Two of the pups look not at all like they did when I first got them, the blood red pup I guess being the one that wandered back to the first nest to wait for mom. I double check that they're not about to come close then start trying to roll over, the pup letting go of my wing immediately only to scream at me while racing backwards. I recoil and the others race up, nipping and screaming at me.

-What the fuck?!- I scream at them, forelimbs tucked to my body as I try to stay still.

A couple of nips and shouts and I start to go towards Screaming Red. The screams change and everyone gallops off. Wait. I do a quick check as I trot with the mini pack. There's only three... I hear the whining cry in the distance and move as quickly as I can, leaving the other pups behind before shifting, racing back, gathering them in my arms, then continuing my sprint for the fourth. What bullshit did it get up to now? I find it, screaming and covered in its own filth, immediately drop down and shift, releasing the startled pups as I go to groom it. Don't they know how to --. Probably not. No... They wouldn't know how to keep clean. Who was there to clean them. I groom everyone, -- I swear my waking time is spent cleaning them, -- and then groom myself.

--Why were you over here?-- I grumble, still trotting in the direction the cub was going, the cubs following behind me quietly.

Then I stumble over a large pond of bubble bath Qi.

-- Fuck!-- I shout, realizing that it's the Qi I was supposed to use but stopped any auto draining for experimenting with later. --I totally forgot about all of this.

--I was looking for a spot in the shifting woods to hide in, and then I was gonna use this stuff instead of water on my farm to see if that made Qi produce.

--Then I needed to find out if using it like water in recipes made Qi rich food.

--How did I forget!-- I scream to my heavens, head thrown back, forelimbs spread in supplication, then I get a flashback of everything since I found the scenic bamboo pond and calm down immediately. --Nevermind.--

I turn back to the kids and groom them as they race past me and start nibbling at the bubbly, frothy pink Qi. I swear it didn't look this much like bubble bath before. Is this my fault? Probably. I start Willing and loading large barrel after barrel with Qi. Don't want this stuff laying around being influenced by my thoughts on Coal's super spa Qi. It takes a while and I shift the cubs feeding bath, scooping out little bowls for them to eat out of without telling them not to climb into it 'cause I'm too busy to be a hypocrite right now, and then keep filling barrels while taking quick dips in the Qi to refresh. This is refreshing but it doesn't fully restore my Will. I need to get a full week's sleep, probably.