“An Imperial Treasure?” the bald man with the scripts looks at Freckles like the kid just asked him how much for the night. “Which Exorcist told you that?”

“Either you people get out of the way or you can’t blame me for punishing you alongside Singing Swallow,” I shout as Hatchet keeps ducking behind people.

I hop back in alarm as people start screaming and running. It occurs to me that maybe I should keep an eye on Hatchet in case she makes a break for it, but then I spy her on the ground looking stunned. She’s not looking at me, but she’s not trying to climb to her feet. Did someone deck her?

I lunge towards her, banking her before I think I’m in range, -- hells yes, I spammed the ability! I’m not trying to let her get away! -- and then hop into my bank after her. I run up, wrap my hands around her neck as she glares at me and reaches up, probably to break my arms, and --

Devour

-- take a deep breath while focusing on my memory of how she used to be. I can feel people looking at me. Literally a light weight on my skin like someone standing next to me. Does that count as an eating nom?

Nom!

I don’t feel full or like I’m eating. I look her over to see she looks alive, -- which I never noticed, but I wasn’t really looking for, -- but she looks like she’s reading. Focused on not here, but something here adjacent.

Who the fuck is watching me through my anchor? I literally just realize that I can feel eyes on me, but I’m in my bank. I turn to face where I feel one of the gentle pressures, on the back of my left arm, and there’s a bear. Which means the other eyes are from --.

There’s more than four eyes… I narrow my eyes and bank Hatchet before slipping out of my bank, bumping into the Exorcist as he mumbles, head bowed one hand up and the other hand clutching a black pole with rings on rings.

I stare at him in surprise. Was he waiting at my anchor or was he peeking through? He keeps chanting for a second or two after I bump into him, fingers in sword form, -- a stray thought telling me it’s also “wand” form, -- and I’m not sure if he’s focused or just didn’t notice. He eventually stops, taking a deep, straining breath, centering himself I guess, then just casually relaxes. He huffs out the deep breath he just took, straightening himself up and looking at me. He startles, eyes bugging out and recoiling, before looking me up and down.

“Were you looking into my void?” I ask. Figure he didn’t notice me and I kinda want to know this more than I care about whether or not he was in deep meditation.

“I’m not skilled enough to assess value, but your void registers as an Imperial Treasure, not you. No one should have been able to claim you,” he tells me.

Okay, so I felt bad that people could try to own me, -- pretty sure slavery is a thing here, or at least in Rising Sun Empire, -- but it feels kinda like he’s telling me I don’t have cancer after someone convinced everyone I did. So bad situation that’s gonna have repercussions regardless of how well I do in getting this misunderstanding resolved.

“How do I fix this? Is it possible to punish someone who gives a false claim?” I ask way more calmly than I think I would. Cool as a cucumber.

Want me as a tool? I can be a tool. Let’s see how well that asshole deals with it. I didn’t like tickles or him taking advantage of his ability, what the hell does he think I’m going to do when he registers me as his property?

“We can find the Exorcist who filed the report or put in a petition to have the claim repealed,” the Exorcist places a hand on my shoulder, trying to reassure me, as serious as my not cancer.

“Running River would gladly relinquish the claim! Singing Swallow may have been a bad actor, but Running River was trying to protect you!” Freckles interjects, fists clenched, looking earnest, for the love of all, don’t let him hit me. “When you started affecting the wards Eager Heart tried to sue for damages, then they demanded we sell you! Running River did it to protect your freedom!”

“Is that so?” All the doubt. “Let’s see if we can’t resolve this peacefully then,” I incline my head to the Exorcist, trying to get him to acquiesce to coming with.

“I will be your witness,” the Exorcist raises his hand, flat in a blade form, a supplication as he bows his head in some kind of ceremonial acceptance.

“Wait.” It took forever to get here, how in the hells did they know exactly where we were. “How’d you know where to find us?”

“Singing Swallow came back,” Freckles says, turning around and slowly walking back to the boat pickup I guess.

Fuck, it’s going to be a long trip back. Wait. Can I set my anchor on a moving object?

“There were alarms on the ward, but they hadn’t gone off,” Freckles continues. “Someone noticed your anchor was gone and set off the alarms. That’s when Singing Swallow came back.”

I temper myself in apprehensive expectation. I’m about to here some bullshit.

“She says that you had wandered out, and she followed you to a forest --”

Called it.

“We were confused when she said Flowers At Sunset had decided to say and keep watch while she came back to get us,” Freckles finishes, hanging his shaking head with a sigh. “She said that you led them to a forest filled with miasma, which you cleansed, and then you climbed into a hole where they couldn’t follow you.”

“When did you realize she was full of shit?”

Is Quiet really proactive? She’s super honest whenever she speaks, very straightforward, and Hatchet kept telling her to shut up.

“The forest looks natural,” Freckles says sadly.

Why am I thinking about hair dye? Oh! He means the forest isn’t mutated. I was wondering if they’d noticed. Was wondering what I’d find in the hole. What did I find in the hole?

“She said she had a quest that she needed me for, hid me in a sheet of fabric, then tossed me down a hole,” I say, looking around before seeing the Exorcist peering down into the same hole. “I told her I didn’t agree to the quest.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

“What happened to her?” I ask Freckles as he opens his mouth to say something. “She used to be wary of me, now she kept hitting me in the face, and snapping. I’m kinda mad she died so quickly…”

Freckles opens his mouth to respond, stops, mouth open, then closes it. He blinks and I’m still waiting for a response before it occurs to me that maybe I shouldn’t have said that out loud. His jaw clenches and he nods, -- firming his resolve? -- and then relaxes his body.

“Our group has been earning a great deal of merit with Eager Heart and Green River due to your power,” Freckles says seriously. He’s taking me seriously.

“You know I’m a Catastrophe Rank spirit beast, what did you think I could do?” I ask slowly. This kid’s coming to terms with something, but I don’t know what.

“We’ll discuss it later. In private,” he says, his eyes darting to the Exorcist and back to me.

“Catastrophe Rank?” I turn to see the Exorcist leaning back in surprise, eyes wide open before he starts making hand seals in a flurry to possibly peek at my shizz.

“Let’s go,” Freckles grabs my arm above my elbow and starts pulling me behind him.

“Do you mind?” I ask blithely. I know his intentions, and I guess the Exorcist has a range, but rude.

“How are the cubs?”

“Fuck!” Everything clenches as I register Joe is walking beside me, arms crossed over his chest, just relaxed and out of nowhere. “Were you talking to them? Did you guys ever find Trinity?” Fuck, what was his --. “Fresh Caught Fish.”

“Is that who you meant?” Joe’s eyebrows shoot up, but they still look blank as fuck. How? “We found Three Suns in the stables. They claimed they’ve never met you.”

“I don’t know who that is,” I admit, looking around to see if there are any more surprises.

The Exorcist and Quiet are both trailing behind, Quiet looking like she’s not sure if she’s allowed to come with, and the Exorcist hustling after us, one hand holding up his robes so he can walk, the other holding his ringed staff. Joe, Freckles, Hatchet’s in the cooler, and I’m not actively being fucked with… I narrow my eyes and look around for Nate.

This place wouldn’t be so bad to squat in. I already started digging a den out, and the bears like to burrow.

I smell Trinity.

I catch a whiff of the fox man’s scent before startling when Freckles claps me on the shoulder.

“Running River stayed behind to make sure there are no misunderstandings, and to reassure people that we’re bringing you back,” Freckles says, giving me a slight shake before keeping his hands to his gods blessed self.

“Bringing me back to what,” I growl.

Misunderstanding my ass. You can’t say you did it for my own good then try to profit off of me. If I decide I don’t want to go back to Eager Heart, what then? Were they being paid for my unintentional expansion of the place? The transfer wards and portals were a lot smoother, how were they compensating me?

“You haven’t been receiving the tributes?” Freckles frowns fiercely, looking like he’s going to hurt someone.

“Tributes?”

I frown as I see the boat, -- we’ve made it back to shore, yay… -- and sit down with the others moving to sit around me. I’ll have time to check… Wait.

“Noodles?” I ask Freckles, remembering that I’ve eaten lots of fish and noodles.

“There --!” Freckles stops mid shout, patting his mouth and looking chastised.

Why’s he blushing? What was he going to say? Wait. Did the money not come from the spatial storages I’ve looted?

Holy shit, did I actually get paid?

My mood is vastly improved and I just take in the scenery trying to set my anchor on the boat versus just having it floating in air. I wanna ask how they gave me tribute, but I figure I should wait for that private conversation. Any time the boat gets too far, Quiet is usually hanging off the boat, hand outstretched to grab me. She’s nice, and apparently very capable, just… not all there.

I switch between dropping my anchor, telling the bears to wait, going through my logs to see if I can see when I got the mons and how, all while the Exorcist tries to get a read on me. Apparently switching locations messes with his ability. Not just mine. The boat moving literally cuts into his ability, which sucks. Not sure if it’s a skill issue or not, but, seriously, that sucks.

I’m not sure why, but I can’t focus on a spot while moving into my bank. Put that on the back burner.

I pull myself back to now to hop off the boat at the piers in town. There’s cheering and celebrating, Freckles waving and speaking to people as our little procession moves to Eager Heart. I have no idea how these people recognize my hunan form.

Were all the bug crafts supposed to be me? Rude. I don’t remember a single rainbow-rific item, most of the things were grey and not me. I don’t even think they were moths. I swear I saw some flies.

“What’s with all the bugs?” I finally ask.

There’s an occasional bug doll or craft where we are, but the room my anchor was in had tons of people with tons of them. And~ he’s blushing again. Is this a sex thing?

“The bugs and other things are Devourer trinkets, and they’re being sold as lucky charms for prosperity,” Nate says tiredly, scrubbing at his forehead after we enter the front doors of Eager Heart and appear in the not my mountains on our way to our floor in one of the many buildings.

“You’re gonna have to explain that one to me.”

That hurt my head so much that I think I’m gonna be sick. Devourer good luck charms? Apparently the more tribute I get the more likely people with the charms will get a fraction of my luck? They built a pyramid scheme around me?

Wait, so they know I’m a Devourer, and they’re feeding me… For good luck… Fucking fuck, my head hurts.

Not sure what Nate thinks I’m thinking, but he laughs, and relaxes, -- bastard, -- before waving for me to follow.

I swear if he’s about to tell me to get back in my display box, I’m gonna bank him. Wonder what I’ll learn from sucking him? Phrasing. Fack! I need to call it something different. I follow as the group, -- Exorcist and gullible included, -- follow Nate and Freckles to one of the side rooms.

Using the suck on --. Nope. Don’t like that. The room behind the door looks like a fancy “simple” conference room. A massive stone slab table with a tea service, framed sitting cushions, window walls on either side of the entrance, and another door leading further in.

Nate and Freckles pour three cups of tea before distributing them. I accept my cup while looking at some wizened figure that smells like the stables. I don’t know when he joined us, but I’m guessing this is the guy they thought I meant when I said “Trinity”.

“Trinity is Fresh Caught Fish, I named him for the shape of his head,” I explain after taking a sip after the toast, then take another sip.

I see them all process the information differently, but they all seem to get there. There’s a pause, and then Nate focuses on me, head lowered as he stares me down.

“When you went to ‘bank sleep’ we expected you back after a week,” he says somberly and I’m wondering who the fuck scheduled my sleep.

Oh, wait. No one. Is he gonna try to guilt me into feeling bad about going into a soul processing coma? And bank sleep? Like I have any control of either of those? Of any of this? And, no, not eating souls isn’t an option anymore.

He goes on to explain that after a year they started noticing changes in the apartment, rooms getting bigger and the scene outside the window changing. Then things got more interesting, and I still wasn’t awake yet. At one point they’d finally decided to look for someone named “Trinity”, – fuckers waited over a year to try to figure out my last message, and he thinks I’m gonna feel guilty for my coma? -- the old man raising his cup in a salute to me, the Exorcist, and Quiet.

“While you were asleep, to prevent any problems with the management of Eager Heart, I had an ownership contract drawn up to prevent them from attempting to claim or dismantle you,” Nate says. Dismantle me? “The contract doesn’t work with living beings, so it only applied to your anchor while you were in Eager Heart.

“The problem lies in the rather drastic changes you’ve made, and accepting contracts on your behalf,” he continues.

“‘On my behalf’?”

This bitch really was just spouting bullshit while I was leaking. I’m not giving refunds for shit I didn’t agree to, and I didn’t agree to him being my proxy. I narrow my eyes at him as it occurs to me that I might have been getting tributes, but I’m now wondering how big his cut was.

“They were paying to keep you here,” Nate admits. “You didn’t just affect their spatial magic, but their wards changed. The Naturalists were getting paid for your ‘peacekeeping’ permissions.”

The fuck?

“You somehow managed to evict people who were fighting from almost anywhere in the adjacent floors,” Freckles explains, leaning forward to get my attention. “After a while, when the outside appeared and there were small manors everywhere, your ability affected the closest buildings. Then the manors changed to towers and people started being evicted from the grounds.”

“Did I get paid for that?” I did what? How?

“So while I’d like to release your contract like I swore I would, I came up with another idea.” Oh, I bet you did. “It would be in your best interest to hear me out.”

Doubt it.