I stretch, no yawn but still satisfying, and try to sit up. Feeling like crap. Why do I feel hungover? Didn't I just unlock a ton of shit? Where's my spring chicken refresh bonus? Notifications!
Qi Condensing 1,725/100
Qi Condensing II Unlocked!
Wait, that's it? There's no cheese? I paperdoll, focus, and try to condense my Qi.
[Qi Condensing Successful]
[Successful Use: 1,726/1,000]
[Con. Qi +2]
[Qi -18]
[Karma 100]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,800,184/23,897,432]
[Current Qi: 680,778/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,589,728/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,21K,178P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,526St]
Wait, out of a thousand? Why? Why didn't it auto over to Qi Con. II? Did the numbers stay the same? Keep going, me. We need to see this, and it's a good excuse to wait to feel better. I'm getting energy from this, right?
[Qi Condensing Successful]
[Successful Use: 1,727/5,000]
[Con. Qi +2]
[Qi -18]
[Karma 100]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,800,186/23,897,457]
[Current Qi: 680,760/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,589,828/10,7275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,21K,178P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,526St]
Why the fuck is it still basic Qi condensing, and who the hell has time for that 5k bullshit? How much energy did I get?
Collect 5000 Void Qi 1720/5000 Condensed Qi
Did I not sleep for very long or did I lose my focus? What's happening here? What's my conversion rate? Do I try to look for notes in my skill list, which I haven't poked around, or go to the logs and look at --. Do I have timestamps? A quick check of my log does reveal time stamps, and apparently I've been asleep for less than 20 hours. So... Scrolling... Looks like I get 20 points every ten minutes? So do I feel shitty because I took such a short nap, or do I feel shitty because I'm working hard to squish a shit-ton of super diffuse bullshit into something meh?
[Qi Condensing II Successful]
[Successful Use: 1/100]
[Con. Qi +2]
[Qi -18]
[Karma 100]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,800,206/23,897,482]
[Current Qi: 680,742/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,589,928/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,21K,178P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,526St]
Oh, shiz. I'm not sleep eating and cycling while I do the condensing! I'm just laying here like a useless lump, squeezing all the energy out of all the my body, rolling it tighter then going "mmyep". Is this different with a core? A centralized area? Every bit of me is saturated in Qi instead of it being a ball I pull energy out of, so am I casually rebuilding myself over and over again, and then going "wow, that's uncomfortable"? Fuck, I'm a dumbass.
-I should have made a core~...-
And I know I don't believe that. If I had a core I probably wouldn't be able to eat all the core fuckery I've eaten. Pffft. Probably one of the reasons I don't have one is because I can't. Either way, food time!
More boiled veggies and dough. More fish. This time I boil some beets, beet greens, and onions with flour and brine runoff, skip out on the mashing, and just eat my fish and veggie soup with some of the smoked fish. Pretty sure this much salt is supposed to be bad for bugs, but it's so good~! This is a good meal. Will try again.
While I nom and victory dance I check my logs. I guess Qi Con. II works faster for the same results? So 40 Con. Qi every ten minutes? That's some good numbers. I clean up, stretch because it feels good, shift back to White Silk's house, and the world explodes.
[Barrier Successful]
[Successful Use: 4/100]
[Qi -10]
[Karma -5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,800,206/23,897,480]
[Current Qi: 680,732/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,589,923/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,21K,178P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,526St]
-What the fack?!-
The world burns as the emperor cackles and I'm too fucked to even try to collect. Can I duck back into my void real quick?
-*Won't stop it,*- the emperor snickers. Won't stop what? -*You're so fucking backwards...*-
He trails off, back to cackling, and I have no clue what's going on. There's screaming, fire, and so much noise, but I don't know what I walked into and how much better or worse it is for the emperor's amusement. What's happening?
-*No no no. I got this,*- the emperor gasps and I know he's not struggling for his life. How frickin' strong is he. -*No. Stop. Listen. You're so backwards. You did all this body hardening and Qi stuff before even doing the tutorial to unlock the body hardening and Qi stuff, and you had will and karma before then, you freak.*-
The emperor's very insulting rant devolves into more breathless cackling and I wonder what would happen if he pissed his pants. Does a volcano spawn and rain flaming piss everywhere? More explosions, more pressure, more burning and I try to still my idle thoughts. Hopefully he gets to the point before I die.
-*Okay, so you keep touching on your spirit when you do stuff, that focusing on you? You're supposed to focus on your energy, not the you that you know. Most people can't even find themselves and you keep accidentallying over it...*- More laughter. More pain. -*Sorry! It's... You're joining your body and your spirit, but you're doing it like a reluctant inmate told to make a rubberband racer when they give zero fucks. And someone actually gave you the instructions to a turbo build. You're being cheated to the top, and you can't even be bothered...
-*No, okay, I'm done. Please wake up. Ah, this is so bad...*-
I wake up to my splintered body kinda bleeding but knowing I'm repairing myself at the same time? And eating shit in my bank to do it. Fuck!
-*Oh, me's and greater, bug you is doing great. Listen! You were trying to build your house from the ground up, somehow bypassing the need to source and gather frickin' materials, so your cultivation is all over the place! It looks like you're trying to call down a tribulation but even the spirits of the realm are confused.*-
I nope out, slipping back into my void to rest. I don't know what he's talking about and it hurts so much. It's like I'm dying on repeat but the destination is at the end of an endless hallway. Fack, the medical bills are always the worst... Fuck. How do I establish an auto garbage pile? What was bug me eating? Did it empty the storages first or just consume everything?
Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.
I pull out a ton of storage jewellery, vaguely recalling that a good chunk of it came from some dude I killed dressed up like a god of war. A kid. A prince? No. General's son. I empty the different gems, chunks of blue-green jade that looked like turquoise, and eat the empty spatial storage and fixtures like expensive chocolates. They go down so smooth. I think I ruined my artifact count, but I'm flailing here.
The necklace was made of nine round not-turquoise and eight filigreed squares surrounding the gems on the sides while the main focus was in a sacred lion's mouth. I'd have thought it was a furry dragon, and I suppose that's exactly what the ones I met were trying to become. Either way they're tasty, and do wonders to improve my health and mood. And they were loaded.
Why does this one kid have so much money? Now I regret the money lender nonsense. So much gold. Mostly regents, which I guess are low gold? But still! So much gold! Kings, princes and regents. No emperors, but so much gold!
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,21K + 5K,178P +50P,54R +100R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,526St + 10000St]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,800,206/23,897,480]
[Current Qi: 680,732/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,589,923/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
Devour
Who dat? ... Fine then, be that way. Maybe having to deal with the money lenders wasn't so bad. I learned a lot about the value of gold, and how rare it is. On the other hand spirit currency, crystallized Qi, is worth more, but it's really quite common among cultivators. 'Specially the stones and lesser coins. Wow. I always had money and never knew the value of it, but I've been surrounded by rich bastards since I was born! Now I'm running around with pocket change in a mortal city and I could be living it up if I didn't have to sleep all the time! And if the world wasn't coming to an end. Ah, well.
I shrug, head to the kitchen, and notice the emperor's proxy staring at me. Silently. Judging me. 'Cause I didn't let him laugh me to death?
-*You have no idea how much you eating that brat pissed off that kid's family. And you killed his dad so no one could say anything. He was the older dude in "fancy samurai armor", you little shit,*- the emperor glares at me and I feel my silk start smoking.
Oh, he's serious. Sounds like I fixed a problem that I didn't really create. The dudes thinking Modesty was my master was a misunderstanding. Me kicking their asses after how they humiliated a member of my "family" wasn't. So I guess I did help Thousand Valleys even after I stopped producing silk.
-*I want to be mad... but you really did learn to think like a cultivator. A hunan one. ... Fack!*- The eyeball explodes in a blast of fire that doesn't ignite my poor kitchen, but does leave behind a ton of soot. -*Oh, come off it! Bitch is scaling Mt. Tai looking for a 7-11 and tries to get pissy about some smudges in the kitchen when they'll burn the place down cooking? Please!*-
He's not wrong. The emperor moans and does some non-impactful laugh sobbing. And I get to throw together another random meal. Parsnips, lotus pods, brined fish and water in one pot. Stew time!
-Dunno how this will turn out, but come join me on my culinary journey!- I say to the air since the proxy is gone but the emperor is still tired and frustrated laugh sobbing. -More for me! Ack!-
I recoil then ignore a bunch of windows popping up and moving around. His empire, his rules. Doesn't mean I have to follow them. I try to figure out what he's grousing about, but it's impossible. Which makes me an uncultured swine instead of a devouring insect. Promotion?
So I don't know who Tai is --. A rage scream and more ranting from his imperial majesty. I take the stew off, grab one of Persephone's loaves and tuck in. So I don't know what Mt. Tai is as a measurement for reaching towards the heavens. I thought people were working on being immortal assholes? More rants which boil down to ascending being equal to power and longevity.
-So more up means life and power, and more down means death and weakness?-
A grumbled explanation from an eyeball lying on the ground, because the emperor wants to sulk, but he's not here. Gaining power and immortality can be done by going down to the hells, too. Being in the middle is being mediocre, mortal, and not worth mentioning. Extremes good. Moderation bad. And~ another disgusted rant... Dude's at-ing me because I'm focused on food and survival instead of pop-culture --. He's so loud!
I try to just focus on the textures and flavors of my food, finding new ways to eat the various pieces of it while the emperor wails in the background. I can't adjust his volume, and I'm not at a level where I can even try, so I've got to find my zen, I guess. Just lay back and think of cycling. A brief eruption of mirth, the pressure nearly popping my brain like a zit, and then he winds down, but stays in a slightly better mood. Concerning.
-So... Tribulation...?- I don't want to ask but apparently I need to know. He heaves a very long put upon sigh then rolls a little.
-*They're called whatever realm tribulations. Heavenly if they come from non-demonic world spirits, and Earthly if they come from demonic spirits.*- I'm with him so far... -*Most people in the mortal realm avoid demonic shiz because it's usually "pay with the lives of others", and no one wants that as a thing.*- I raise a foreleg but he interrupts before I can interrupt. -*Kicking ass and robbing people is different from kicking ass or poisoning people and absorbing their hard work.
-*Yes, you do a little of Column B, but not enough to warrant an extermination. You're accidentally hardworking.*-
Accidentally, my ass! I work hard! I just don't do it to everyone else's standards. All those people spending merit to buy stuff when they could go out and collect it themselves? I got tons of special plants and stuff, not just robbed people or bought them. And I made so~ much silk for Thousand Valleys. You don't even know.
-*Except I do,*- he says deadpan. A blink and he continues. -*So you fight, and you absorb the fruits of the labor while not absorbing the people. Even when you eat people you aren't just adding their cultivation and knowledge to yourself. Not fully. You mutate something and develope it with other resources you've gotten, but you're not just straight up cutting and pasting. Do you understand?*-
-It's okay to pay the same contractors to build a house like my neighbors. It's not okay to kill them and take their house?*- Did I get it right?
-*I don't like that that's accurate...*- the eye low-key glares at me. I got one!
-Spirits, tribulations, go big or go home...?- I yadda yadda him in the hopes that he continues teaching instead of judging me. One is productive.
-*So if you cultivate anything that's on the banned by "whichever God thing is watching over the realm"s list, the system does an autocorrect and sends a tribulation after you. Auto janitors. They're considered calamities or catastrophes, and their job is to make sure everyone stays in their assigned place, and, if they refuse, to get rid of them through almost any means necessary. Usually flat out destruction.*- I focus more and more on him, mentally narrowing my eyes at the description of the realm janitors. -*Yes, I'm trying to groom you to do the same thing, albeit on a smaller scale.
-*Anyway, you went and grabbed a bunch of random shit, or were given a bunch of random shit, and instead of using that to learn how to cultivate and work your way up, you went straight to highly capable, physically and spiritually, with what you call your "bug self" handling all the heavy lifting in the background. What that means is you're all ability with no knowledge. So when you start gaining said knowledge, the system registers it, and you're almost to the point where you're fully registering as a potential realm level calamity. Hence the tribulation.*-
-How were you going to stop it from taking me out in the first place?- Now it's my turn to be grumpy.
-*By supplying you with knowledge and letting you learn before you were going to work on the physically capable part of it,*- he points out like I knew all along. No one told me shit! -*Yeah, no, you weren't supposed to have so much combat training and the essence and mutation compatibility thing was totally not understood until it became a problem. You were supposed to be fed, groomed, taught lore, and continue to learn while pumping out silk. Then, once you were established, you were supposed to start your training with a decent heads up. But you're so backwards.*-
-Still counting this as not my fault,- I throw my forelimbs up in victory and try to decide if I should make another pot or go back to cleaning out storage devices and eating them.
Another deep, put upon sigh, and while the emperor's emoting I opt to make more food and do storage things. Beets, beet greens, parsnips, parsnip greens, onions, lily pods, water. Stews cookin'. Now... Another storage item. This one is a metal bangle with a jade set in the middle on one side, and a bunch of non-storage jade look-alikes to mask the off-set jade. And it's full of snacks!
Smoked fish, sweet balls of rice, some fermented refried bean jelly? Weird, but I'm not that picky. By the time I'm done stuffing my face I remember that I had food on. I sigh, bank the pot, -- hot breakfast! -- then pop the bracelet for desert. Yum! Should probably be cycling that shiz, but the difference between eating and cycling, as far as cultivation is concerned, seems to be the more I eat, the longer I can cultivate without negative side-effects. So nommed.
-Now for more cycling!- I do my buggy victory pose and the emperor's proxy zips in front of me, scaring the bejeezubs out of me.
-*So, first off: Yay, you, for cultivating, oh, my me, whoo...*- the proxy's pupil does a quick circle. Did he just sarcastically cheer and roll his eyes? -*Yes. Now pay attention. You've got the body. You've got the Qi. You have amazing resistance and channeling, you have will out the wazoo, and you're still getting your ass handed to you. Remember that.*-
... He's got a point. I thought I was in a warzone when I stepped outside. I was also weak and hungry... But he's leagues out of my league, what with the whole should be ascended god thing.
-So is the tribulation an arena boss fight? What should I expect?- He said it's a calamity. If it's an eating contest I hope I can use my true form instead of this mobile me.
-*It can be anything from a "Don't Flinch", wherein the sky blasts you with holy wrath for every doctrine you've violated. FYI your existence counts. Usually it's one of those high powered blasts that wrecks you unless you have a strong affinity with saint and heavenly nonsense,*- he says dismissively. And it occurs to me that there are a lot of saintly and heavenly people 'cause maybe they wanted that extra edge... -*And you're a demon bug, jackass.*-
-Don't remember getting a choice,- I narrow my eyes at him.
-*If you managed to choose such a broken OP build, you'd be a threat,*- he says slowly, narrowing his eyes at me.
-Frickin' OP how?-