When we get outside we're not in the mass at the entrance. We're not at a servant's entrance, it's too nice. Unless this place is just pretty at all times? Different world, different rules. Things look busy but not front of the building and main hall busy. The streets are made of interlocking stones or stone tiles but with the spaces between filled properly so there's no cobblestone experience. Nice. If I trip and fall on my face I won't have the ground to blame. There aren't curbs so far as the areas in front of the buildings slope down into a dip which rises back up to the road. Gasp! Self-draining roads? Wait. So... Are we advanced or primitive or shut up, it's magic?
-*Magic.*-
-*Last one.*-
-*Mom, keep calling us primitive and I'm going to you you.*-
Heran steps in front of me and glares at me blankly. I go back over my thoughts then try to clarify with what I'm familiar with, --why do my logs work now but not when I'm trying to find things? -- then compare them. I haven't seen a single bathroom, true I haven't needed to --.
-*No one needs to as much as your disease ridden world's dried grass and brittle glass inhabitants,*- Heran snaps, hands going to their hips. Um... TVs?
-*Um, actual productive and healthy work?*- Adonia retorts. Computers? -*Sendings?*- Adonia rolls their eyes before looking me dead in the eyes. -*Compared to your people we're gods.*-
"When we get sick it's not because we poisoned ourselves with "food", it's because we tried to consume something with an incompatible affinity." Adonia pauses then invades my personal space then leans in causing me to lean and tilt my head back to get some room. "How many people does your world have because your race is a what now? A mammalian virus? How healthy was your world? You wanna go to space? Bish we've got planets you can explore once you get your Qi or Karma high enough! This place is hell? Compared to your last life this place is paradise!"
You just pulled a me and said all of that out loud, I inform Adonia as I stand with head back from the sheer force of the tongue lashing I just received. There are a couple of people in embroidered and gilded clothing looking at us in amusement. Ooh, we lookin' basic. But good points all. And you didn't spit all over me while ranting. This world is better. Thank you for your time.
"Now I need a nap," Adonia grumbles while walking a few steps away to stand near Madame Director. She's just watching us, one hip cocked and resting the back of her wrist against it. Not us. Watching me. Fuck, lady, what'd I do now?
"You have Qi?" Shit. I know that it sounds innocuous but I know better. She's gonna find more work for me to do. "You can cultivate? You need training." She nods to herself and straightens up. Called it. "We need to get you into a school."
Irrational anger. I know it is. I know she doesn't mean that I need to be potty-trained. I hope she doesn't mean I need some kind of beast training. She said Qi. I need to focus on Qi. I'm a grown ass adult trying to get home and go back to doing my job, a job I'm uniquely skilled for and I bet she's gonna expect me to keep working while doing whatever schooling she thinks I need.
-*You're not wrong,*- Maru admits and I clench my fists, clench my teeth, hold my breath, do everything I can to not punch anything or start screaming. And I end up screaming in my throat. One. Ow. Two. Fail.
"Gods dammit..." I sigh before rubbing the bridge of my nose with the index and middle fingers of both hands. One pair to either side. Rub rub rub, pet pet pet, calming breaths. Select every icon but Madame Director. -*What does she have in mind?*- Fuck, my head...
-*You can't just join a school,*- Madame Director scoffs, a quick swipe of her hand dismissing the foolish idea. -*You need to undergo aptitude testing. Then there's a petition period and an interview process. If you get accepted you have to take the entrance exams. All standard. You have the Emperor's favor. That doesn't make you unique. Means you have to work harder to prove you earned it. Do not embarrass Thousand Valleys.*-
"What the fuck!" Shit. Fail. I totally screamed that last part. All this work to get home and prove I'm not a world devouring monster and all I did was prove I can work harder. That's not what I am or what I'm about. Gods dammit.
-*You wondered why she was so badass,*- Maru is seriously failing to hide a smug smirk. -*You're about to find out.*-
-*You're grinning like you're not going to be forced to come with me,*- I say and she stops trying to hide the smug.
-*I'm gonna be learning how to help with the compound.*-
Compounds, I remind her. And remember all of the paperwork and the fact that Madame Director is bad ass because she is bad ass. Not just because she can kick my ass. All the paperwork, all the time, all the farms and politics. I feel my face twisting into a smug smirk even as Maru's falls into a frowning glare. All the reports from all the different farms that have to be treated differently. All those elements to memorize and study. And manage. You're welcome. I drop into a crouch hand over my head and screaming in mock fear as Maru slowly winds up to punch me in the face. I grin up at her, staying crouched, keeping my balance with fingers against the less polluted and litter free ground.
-*It's much easier with proper disposal,*- Madame Director reassures her before looking at me. -*You know a productive garbage disposal in our family. Remember to balance the value of the produce to the balance of the silks that one can produce.*-
-*And Orbs, and venoms, and they can convert between different elements,*- Maru responds in our happy little group circle and I'm feeling betrayed.
-*Have fun cleaning up my poop,*- I glare at her and she just laughs at me.
-*Is it doing it now?*- Madame Director looks at Maru in shock.
-*"It" your face! "It" can be your new eye. Stop calling me "it"!*- I snap. I want to point but that didn't work so well last time so I just glare at the eyepatch. -*Who took your eye? You call them "it"?*-
"Who would dare touch me," she sneers and I know there are many people who would dare. Pretty sure I ate some of them when I grew wings. "I did it to prove my loyalty. Golden Blade said they knew nothing of you when I'd tried to hand you over so they could take you for testing and disposal. They said I had you for years for you to grow to your state."
"The guy you tried to bind me to? The one who got taken away by the guards?" Ooh... I'm feeling better already. "He hit me with the emperor there. Why was he so important? Is he going to be stripped of his position?"
Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.
"He's my nephew," she grumbles and walks away.
Mouth dropped I almost say something before my mouth snaps shut and I double check to see who's highlighted. I unselect Madame Director then gape with eyes opened wide.
-*Was she crying?*- I can't quite recapture the feeling that I had before but I can kinda remember the shock and heartache.
-*You can eat him next,*- Maru says, thoughts dark and tone even.
I jump back and resist slapping out in fear as Adonia tries to lift my shirt up. The hell? Adonia snorts and I wonder what I said to make them think undressing me is --. Oh! Right. I'm our ride out. They start laughing and I remember that I'm okay with walking around naked. In this body and my wimble form. Wait. Not wimble. Guess I owe Lana an apology and a promise not to eat her parakeet.
-*The fuck is a void moth?*- I ask while stripping off my clothes manually. Are we going to the forest? I'm still hungry and tired.
-*We're still going,*- Adonia says stiffly. I narrow my eyes at them. Why you being shady?
Maru grabs Madame Director by the arm and she flips her shit. I gag as I watch her break Maru's elbow. No, now Maru's elbow bends that way. What? Everything Madame Director does Maru just counters by converting their body, oh, they're all black now. They're not in a hunan form, they're just sentient demonic energy. I feel my heart pounding, it's in the wrong spot and really big but it's there, as Maru's in they're demonic form in the anti demon bug center with a saint shield on ignores the beating Madame Director tries to lay down! I want to cheer but Heran slaps their hand over my mouth. I go to thank them and my guts cramp.
What? Oh! Oh, no! I open my bank already knowing what I'm going to find. I look for the full heavenly meter and it's not full. But other bars are looking a lot fuller. Nevermind. No, I don't. Heran gets me in a headlock and Adonia puts their hand to my chest as Maru disrespectfully ignores the screams of startled passerby and the damage Madame Director is doing. I want to scream but I can't as I watch Maru rip off the eye patch and jam the end of a nub on another arm they've sprouted into the scarred and somehow still healing socket. There's an easing of pressure and I sag in relief. I don't bother moving as Heran sets me on the ground.
Logs. Which tab? Skills? Holy shit. I know they can do stuff without my input but this is a lot. Over 120,000 heavenly converted into other energies. Life got a 2:1 conversion of 20,000 for enough to make an orb. I knew I was orbing something but Heran stopped it somehow. Very unpleasant, please don't do that again without good reason. I don't even, no we've been here for a few hours, haven't we? Did they drain their badges into me? What the hell? Over 5000 saint from converting 100,000 heavenly. Isn't the conversion rate 2 per minute? Wait. You assholes! Is that why my head was killing me? I felt sick! I'm starving and you guys were fast-forwarding me? Watch if I don't pass out and make this your problem! Why did you need all of that? 10,000 life and 5,000 Saint spent on regeneration? Regenerating wh--.
I raise my head and Madame Director is straightening her hair. Did she already get over getting her eye back? Even her scars are healed. Couldn't you guys just use Qi, wait, I can do what? I learn how to Send after you nearly shout 'splode my head. I learn how to fast repair when you lot use me as a medical treatment center. I want to check my skills but I wasn't joking about the whole passing out thing. My head is killing me. I close my eyes and let it go.
I try to open my eyes and can't. I'm on my back and nodding off already. How? How long was I out? Does this still count? Not in the mood. I'm taking a deep breath with someone nudging my hip. Am I naked? I'm not sure how I feel about this. Depends on what they're looking at while they're nudging me. I open my eyes, -- victory! -- and see Lana staring in awe. I have no idea where this room is. There's a window in the wall I'm resting along, what may or may not be a three drawer dresser against the wall past my feet, a tall thin piece of furniture that either has nearly 20 small drawers or is just carved with handles to make it look like it has 20 drawers off to my right on the wall at my head end, and a very small table with a pitcher and a bowl with a towel in it and a mirror leaning on the table against the wall closer to my right. My arms are spread out, I have one leg hanging off of the raised piece of furniture and I don't know if I'm on a table or a bed and broken rainbow is staring at me as my nethers jiggle when she pokes at my hip with the heel of her hand. There's a closed door behind her and I wonder if it's to stop people from seeing what she's doing or if we're locked in here for some reason. I'm wearing pants so I'm not quite sure what she thinks she's seeing, but still.
"Lana? Why are you staring at my junk?"
She turns to me with a confused expression and I notice a reflected prism on her face. Wait. I sit up and the light shifts. Oh! She's not staring at my crotch she's playing with the lights sparkling off my scales. Why am I so shiny? While I'm figuring out the lights and staring at my concerningly clear but solid color glitter trimmed scales I get to see Lana connect the dots out of the corner of my eye. Brows go from furrowed to slowly relaxing, her eyes and mouth widening, pale complexion going from corpse pale to stare at the sun pale, pupils constricting then dilating as she turns to look me in the eyes while red splotches form across her corpse complexion. Seriously, my scales look like someone couldn't decide what to paint their nails so they tipped them all the colors of chunky glitter with a prismatic "clear" coat on top.
"How long was I out and why'd you think it was okay to play with my passed out body?" I wonder if she did this? That's a lot of glitter. And a lot of fine detailing. It's not perfect but there's no obvious smudges anywhere. These can't be my scales. they're almost thumb-nail sized now.
I'm mildly offended but honestly curious. We didn't leave on the best of terms and she's just casually messing with me while I'm unconscious. And where in the hells am I? Oh! Is she going through grief stages? Her brow tightens, her jaw clenches, her lips pull back as she goes from mortification to rage and the splotches get bigger and darker. That didn't last long. Wait. Some of my scales aren't translucent. The ones with brown trim and blue trim kind of shimmer independently. Wait. What elements are those colors? A heavy breath and I remember the angry wimble keeper.
"Big on blame, not on shame?" I quip and she rears back and punches me.
Excuse me? There's a sharp snapping sound. A pause and now she's screaming. Who's going to help her? I won't. I wake up to her playing with my body, call her out, and she breaks her hand belting me. I don't think I'll apologize. I didn't know I wasn't a wimble. I still don't know what a wimble is! I shrug then slap her for good measure. Now she's collapsed on the other side of the room. Do I feel better now? No... She didn't slap me. She punched me. After playing with my unconscious body after getting mad at me for not knowing what I was and almost killing her because she was being an idiot. But if I punch her she'll die. Why am I assuming I didn't kill her already? I sigh and climb off of the flat surface before turning to look at it. I shrug and start poking around. It's a solid frame wooden cot with some rough woven cover and a thin mat. I stand up, relaxed with my fists on my hips when someone opens the door behind me. Oh. Was it locked? I look over my shoulder and Heran's looking at me in... is that frustration or amusement?
-*Both, you psycho,*- they shake their head before looking at the collapsed Lana. -*You said you wanted to apologize and we weren't sure why but figured it couldn't hurt.*- They let out a snort before turning back to me. -*Yeah, no, you look nothing like a wimble so you probably mutated a lot before they even pulled you out of the ground. They just told people you were a wimble instead of a beetle. You're a beetle, not a moth, by the way.*-
What the fuck? Even the emperor can't figure out what the hell I am? Or is he trolling me? I think back over the weird interactions we had for the brief moment I was in their presence. I'm not important enough to troll. I narrow my eyes as Heran just watches me. And I know they know what I'm talking about and I also know they're not going to tell me or they would.
-*Nah, I'm just messing with you,*- they wave me off while grinning cheekily. -*You're a treasure beetle, a void bug, and they know it. Remember when you got baked in the garden as a grub? That messed up your mutation. Your wing cover is soft. You're supposed to have two wing covers then four membranous wings. You got six wings because the wing cover got borked. No clue what happened that made you hairy and scaly, but you're the ugliest treasure beetle ever.*-
Between them trolling me, Lana's righteous indignation, finding out there's a subplot the emperor is using me to trick, my weird mutations, and my kids being cheeky yet forthcoming, I think I'm just gonna head back to sleep. I turn back to the cot and climb on it as Heran squeals and tries to get me to stop even though I'm pretty sure they could probably slam me through the wall at this point. Dem bebes stronk.