I'm trying to process that my assigned trainer is a gatekeeping dickmonger, and I accidentally found out why the Golden Rivers is considered a cultivator's tourist trap. For cultivators, by cultivators. Now with non-cultivators! I swear I hear flute music on a stray breeze at the exact moment I notice a woman looking stunned, crouched in the middle of the road. And we're heading right for her, because of course the runaway horse is going to trample some random woman or child.
-*You gonna go around her, mebbe?*- A merchant? Really?
"She'll move. Most people here aren't that simple," he flicks his fingers dismissively, looking past her as he continues barreling along.
-This isn't going to end well,- I snort, -- how? -- and settle in for the madness to ensue. If nothing else, he knows about void cultivation...
As we bear down on her, she finally looks up. From stunned to horrified, I get to see her wide-eyed stare shift as she sees the pretty impressive horse bearing down on her. I wait to see if she's actually going to jump, just spinning gently in a breeze of petals that come out of nowhere, the merchant suddenly enamored, when a lean, young man with the front half of his head shaved kneels in front of her, one hand thrust out towards the horse.
The horse runs into the palm, somehow taking the strike to the chest despite the differences in height, stopping dead. Poor thing. Its neck tenses, head still moving forward, expression twisting in fear and pain as its forelegs stiffen and appear to compact, along with its spine, down its back to its hindlegs while its body twists. It looks like the miserable beast clenched everything starting from the palm strike, all the kinetic energy freezing inside of it with nowhere to go but throughout its body.
Ultravision is truly amazing. I was concerned about the horse, and I get to see it even as the merchant and I are sent flying. Somehow the merchant manages to sail forward, head back, belly towards the ground, flying straight and true although he flails his arms and kicks his feet. I get to watch as my body, legs and wings tucked in, placidly rotates as I'm sent flying. Until the "young hero" leaps up and snatches me from the air, somehow managing to grab the back of the merchant's collar, and then spinning, step by step to kill our momentum.
Now Swimmer is standing, someone half his size collaring him while cradling me, and we're posing for a thumbnail before the "helpless maiden" runs up to us. She pulls out a stack of bound cloth and a charcoal stick, writing, because of course she's mute or deaf, and the hero releases Swimmer, hugging me like a plushie and bowing towards the woman.
"Apologies, sister, but I can't read," he keeps his head lowered, embarrassed or ashamed? Dude just saved her life and can't even read her thank you apology.
-*She apologizes for the inconvenience and thanks you for saving her humble life,*- I tell him, the cultivator smiling at me and nodding thanks. Not the least bit surprised that I'm speaking to him, 'cause wut~?
Okay, weird. He puts on his stern face, turning to Swimmer, still cradling me, but somehow lowering his head to glare down up at the larger man. I wave a forelimb at the woman who starts, clutching her writing pad to her chest while staring at me. Are any of her expressions not wide-eyed and stunned? Stunned horror, stunned surprise, stunned disgust... Unless it's disbelief and disgust? Maybe she had a stroke and her mouth is paralyzed?
"Elder, you should know better. As a non-cultivator you should be more conscious of the preciousness of life," he admonishes Swimmer before standing patiently for their response.
...
-*Are you going to put me down?*- I ask, reading his name badge... Young Dragon? Really?
The young hero blushes harder than he did when he admitted he couldn't read. And hands me over to a random cultivator standing in a group of people surrounding our drama like it's a street performance. Why? Who is this? Wood Falcon? The fack is a wood falcon? Who dis stunned bish? Blooming Red Sage?
-*Oy!*- I wiggle, trying to get the cultivator to set me down while the others are talking. He tenses and clutches me tighter, turning around and speed walking through the crowd. -*Oy!*-
Am I being kidnapped right now? What the fuck is happening? Horse speeding down the road nearly trampling a "helpless" person? Check. Unknown young hero saving everyone and being polite and humble? Check. Shady asshat kidnapping someone at the same time? Is this a thing?
-*Put me down. I need to learn about raising void bugs from the merchant.*- What kind of sorry excuse was that?
"Shut it," Woodcock hisses to the top of my head, squeezing me as he darts in and out of narrow lanes. Is he hauling me through back alleys?
-*You really don't want to do this.*- First and final warning, jackass.
"Shut up before I smudge you with flybane!" he hisses next to my antenna, which I've flattened against my back at some point.
He's going to smear me with flybane? How heavy is flybane? Or is it solid enough to use as a flyswatter? Does he braid it into a switch or staff? My antenna twitch, but I don't flick them. I must be angrier than I thought. No way am I scared of this teddy-hugging thief. I'm gonna eat his shit. But I need to figure out my notifications first.
Simple gave me a bar, which tells me progress but not numbers and I want numbers. Knowing I did something versus how many times I need to keep doing it feels like progress. Is there a way for me to check notifications? Notification styles?
[[Skill] Successful [multiplier]]
[Successful Use: [current usage]/[usage to next level]]
[Qi [change]]
[Con. Qi [change]]
[Karma [change]]
[Current Condensed Qi: [Progress Bar: Percentage]]
[Current Qi: [Progress Bar: Percentage]]
[Current Karma: [Progress Bar: Percentage]]
Let's go~! I squeal, forelegs raised in victory and this bastard claps a hand over my face. Before I can get offended he snatches it back, recoiling and wiping his hand on his tattered pants in disgust. Really? I'm eating all of your shit... I sniff at him while he weaves through narrow paths, enclosed yards, buildings and side roads, trying to figure out what I'm going to eat first. Focus! Notifications simple. Notification styles?
[[Skill] [Unsuccessful]/[Successful] [multiplier]]
[Successful Use: [current usage] [multiplier]/[usage to next level] [multiplier]]
[Qi [change] [multiplier]]
[Con. Qi [change] [multiplier]]
[Karma [change] [multiplier]]
[Current Condensed Qi: [Progress Bar: [current Con. Qi]/[max Con. Qi]]]
[Current Qi: [Progress Bar: [current Con. Qi]/[max Con. Qi]]]
[Current Karma: [Progress Bar: [current Con. Qi]/[max Con. Qi]]]
[Mortal Wallet: #Emperor(s),#King(s),#Prince(s),#Regent(s),#Dalin,#Denii,#kin]
[Spirit Wallet: #Dragon(s),#Phoenix(s),#Thumb(s),#Disc(s),#Coin(s),#Stone(s)]
Now that I have a 1,000-year's supply of alphabet soup, -- no percentages, I think, -- I can turn my attention to my new grocery list. He's got something tucked into his vest, a tan colored sleeveless upper robe, pressing against my back. There's a black band around his right bicep and a red bracelet around his left wrist that smell similar despite looking drastically different.
[Identify Unsuccessful x3]
[Successful Use: 0/100]
[Qi -12 x3]
[Con. Qi -12 x3]
[Karma -25 x3]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,799,625/23,843,999]
[Current Qi: 584,581/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,375,998/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
His hair is up in a messy ponytail, bangs hanging shaggy and held down by a headband that reminds me of the black vests in the canyon.
[Identify Unsuccessful]
[Successful Use: 0/100]
[Qi -12]
[Con. Qi -12]
[Karma -25]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,799,613/23,843,993]
[Current Qi: 584,569/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,375,973/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
Which actually might be a good spot for me to just chill. No, wait. I had feeding filters. Nevermind. I flick an antenna in annoyance. I've got notifications, and I'm not doing something right, and I'm getting feedback, but how do I actually do it right? I'm not actually focusing, I'm just doing a quick sniff, but this is a thing? If I actually try anything will my life be pure spam? I sigh and he goes into a building, closing the door behind him. We're in a small room, bigger than my pit traps, and maybe bigger than Persephone's single room shack, with trash scattered around the periphery.
I sigh as he finally sits down, setting me down and grabbing a gourd from beneath a pile of sheets before popping the plug and chugging it. Something else for me to eat later. My antenna twitches, flicking forward, -- do I feel comfortable now? -- and the man gives me an exasperated glare. Bish, did I tell you to steal me?
-*What exactly do you think is going to happen?*- I scan the room with Ultravision, seeing nothing but dirty garbage, although I do smell a few things.
[Identify Unsuccessful x5]
[Successful Use: 0/100]
[Qi -12 x5]
[Con. Qi -12 x5]
[Karma -25 x5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,799,553/23,844,018]
[Current Qi: 584,509/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,375,973/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
So is that another item on top of the four before or 5 new items? I yelp, curling up and bubbling when he focuses on me then gets on hands and knees to stare down at me.
[Barrier Successful]
[Successful Use: 1/100]
[Qi -10]
[Karma -10]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,799,553/23,844,017]
[Current Qi: 584,499/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,375,843/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
It has a name? I recoil from the notification, trying to put a bubble between it and me.
[Barrier Successful]
[Successful Use: 2/100]
[Qi -10]
[Karma -10]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,799,660/23,844,015]
[Current Qi: 584,489/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,375,838/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
My face drops into blankness as I register what I attempted to do. I know better! No I don't. There's probably a shield that can block off whatever this is. How would I know if I had it?
"Hmm?" Woodcock leans forward, nose nearly pressed to the barrier, but they're looking at me. How'd I forget he was here? "Whatever you did for the merchant, you do for me. Got it?"
-*I just met the merchant today, and he was taking me to his compound to learn how to raise void bugs,*- I inform him, wondering, again, what he thinks I can do. -*Are you going to train me to raise void bugs?*-
He stares at me before his head drops with a sigh. He flings himself back to his seat, an elbow resting on a raised knee as he rests his head on the wall. He closes his eyes and goes still and I wonder if he's asleep, cycling or praying. If he's sleeping, soup's on.
"Tch!" Fack! I flinch, his eyes opening but he stares straight ahead. "I find an unusual spirit and it doesn't know anything?"
Unusual spirit? What else can I do? Do I have titles? How would I find them? I focus on me. Titles?
Title Requirement Count the Awakened Start your Journey against your will 6 the Hungry Have Consume trait N/A the Reject Have a gift or offer rejected 20 Pet Be officially registered as a Pet 2 the Backslider Lose a realm 2 Confounder Mutate 5 times. 5 of the Void Form a connection to a Spatial realm N/A Demon Accrue -10000 reputation with any faction N/A Saint Accrue 10000 reputation with any faction N/A Celestial Gain Elemental Affinity with 3 or more Elements N/A the Polyglot Have Languages Perk or learn 3+ languages N/A the Devourer (III) Consume 1000 non-food items 3 the Willful (V) Gain 10000 Will points 5 Sky Strider Have a flight ability N/A the Resilient Develope a 50%+ Resistance N/A the Resolute Gain Immunity N/A Returnee Die at least once 5 Shattered Hunan: Lose Faith
Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.
Insect: Be Sterile
Lose a fight while holding Monarch title 1 Swarm (King/Queen) Hunan: Have 1000 minions
Non-hunan: Have 5 minons
Insect(oid): Reproduce 1 Shy Hide cultivation level 29 Enlightened Complete a tutorial 1
Bish, wut~? I can has titles? Fuck your reject! I had no say in any of it. Oh, wait, Awakened. ... Fair. Wait. I mutated five times or five times five times? No way! I never mutated that much! I didn't even see miasma until way~ later!
"What can you do?"
Fack!
[Silk Spray (Tier 3) Successful]
[Successful Use: 16/100]
[Condensed Qi -20]
[Karma -200]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,799,533/23,843,965]
[Current Qi: 584,289/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,375,838/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
-*Don't startle me!*- I flail in embarrassment, closing my screen so I can brace for whatever he does next.
How do I keep forgetting he's there? He hauled me through the city to this room and I legit just thought I was vegging in the Seven Moons nursery, how? Fack! All these skills and titles, how am I not "the Unobservant" or "the Clueless"? And how is he so chill?! He's just sitting, face completely encased in what looks like shaving cream or whipped cream, but I know it's my silk and it has to be impossible to breathe through that. And he's not moving. Is he waiting for me to clear it off?
I drop my bubble, slowly inching towards him to see if he'll let me remove it. I flinch as he leans forward, but he doesn't swing, he doesn't even change his seating posture, giving me a chance to poke at the gooey mass. He still doesn't try to scrape it off. I shrug, try to dismiss the silk like I dismissed the proxy, and I'm pleasantly unsurprised when it doesn't work. ... If it had does that mean I could dismiss clothing made from my silk? Probably for the best that it didn't work 'cause I'd totally be stripping people who offend me. Pffft. I already do!
I scrape off the silk, banking it, which I think recycles it unless things changed, and step back, bubbling and waiting for his response. And his face is stern and unsurprised. And I missed a few spots of silk and whatever I use as a binding agent. ... Thought it was one mass not an actual wad of silk that could leave debris behind. Ah, well.
"What did you just do?" he asks, casually pointing at his face with his free arm, the other still propped on his raised knee. Expression still stern and unaffected although I can see his pulse racing.
-*I make silk. That's one of the ways I protect myself.*- I try to groom and look casual. He's not the only one who can play calm!
"Is your silk valuable?" He asks, face clearing a little as one bold eyebrow attempts to march up his forehead.
Pffft. I'm not telling him shit! He kidnapped me! I'm still going to eat his stuff for the insults and threats. Who does he think he is? Who does he think I am? We're about to get to know one another very well.
-*I make it from garbage.*- Like the garbage I'm going to eat when you fall asleep.
"Ah," he looks away, head maintaining contact with the wall the entire time, and I'm still trying to figure out why he took me.
There was a whole audience witnessing Young Dragon hand me over. All Swimmer has to do is ask around. I'm sure this guy owes someone money. Or someone probably thinks he owes them money. Hmm... Maybe no one got a good look at him at all? ... Risk it for the biscuit!
[Identify Successful]
[Successful Use: 1/100]
[Qi -10]
[Karma -10]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,799,521/23,843,903]
[Current Qi: 584,277/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,375,668/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
Wood Falcon, Swordsman, Wind Blade
Oh, he can do wind blades! His race is swordsman? Or is that his job? Fack! I didn't try this on Swimmer, I just looked at his name badge. The fuck do the name badges mean? Most people have a stylized wind or cloud mirrored left and right, framing their name. The clouds are mostly yellow, but a few people had orange or red. Is that reputation? I remember being able to see that Silvered Claw could kick my ass, how do I get that back? Wood Falcon's clouds are red-orange, but what's that mean?
Fack! I should have played more RPGs. I feel my soul gag at the stray thought, and I know that idle thought is going to be one of my deepest regrets. Fuck tedious crafting bullshit. Fuck PVP. Fuck grinding and 'Cheese whoring. You want has cheese? Eat 1000 non-food items for Devourer cheese! Comes with a litany of negative side-effects! Who wants that? And where do I find out what the titles do? Or do I need an a-cheese-ment to find that out, too?
Woodcock rips the band from where it's tied over his forehead, revealing no interesting scars, and throws it on the ground like I put it on him and called him a pretty princess. He continues to tear off his wristband, armband, and vest. By the time he reaches for the rope he's using as a belt I realize that he's stripping down.
-*Oy~! What are you doing?*-
Wood Falcon ignores me, strips down to some weird breechcloth everyone favors over briefs, the fabric nearly blindingly white, then pulls the top layer off the pile we're on. It's a sheet. The pile we're on is his bed and he's turning in. In the middle of the day. After dumping all of his items next to the bed. Dinner is served?
He had more items tucked into his vest, a knife, a roll of cloth, a bag, but he placed them under a bundle of clothing he's using as a pillow. Is the whole bed just old clothes? I spread out the three items that smell different, just looking, and waffle between just eating them versus banking them or spamming them for I.D. practice. They're special, but why?
[Identify Successful]
[Successful Use: 2/100]
[Qi -10]
[Karma -10]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,799,509/23,843,890]
[Current Qi: 584,265/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,375,588/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
Band of Kinship
Fack! Didn't mean to do that. The armband is a what? Is this like a friendship bracelet or a memorial item? Pretty sure I don't want to eat anything that important. Of his. I owe Broadband a couple of "devoured" funeral plaques. But what am I supposed to do? What are the other items?
[Identify Successful]
[Successful Use: 6/100]
[Qi -10 x3]
[Karma -10 x3]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,799,461/23,843,872]
[Current Qi: 584,217/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,375,488/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
Band of Kinship, Band of Kinship, Band of Kinship
Did I scan the same thing three times or do they all count as a "kinship" item? Did one person give him all three? Is he wearing drawers of kinship? I snicker and he pops up, glaring at me. I freeze, he continues to glare, then rolls over, flopping around, and thrashing before going still again. Did he really not notice or was he just checking? Or did he think I was laughing at him? Hmm...
So if the only things he has are kinship bands or things under his pillow, why am I still here? He hasn't pushed me into a homicidal rage, and there's nothing of value in the room... What am I supposed to do?
I kinda don't want to play my hand too soon, so anchoring and going into my space would be a no. No food, no more skilling 'cause no food, no 'splorin' 'cause door. ... 'Cause door...?
I turn around to look at the door, with it's simple latch handle, and no keyhole, and no magic... Imma go now. I get up, comfy with my mobility after finishing the Tutorial, then remember I needed a quiet place to study what I can do. A quiet place with food, I silently remind myself, careful not to scrabble as I ease myself against the door, reaching out to lift the latch. It immediately scrapes, loudly.
"Hey!" Woodcock slaps the ground next to the bed, somehow launching himself across the small room at me. "Oof!"
[Body Slam Successful]
[Successful Use: 1/100]
[Qi -25]
[Karma -25]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,799,436/23,843,809]
[Current Qi: 584,192/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,375,238/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
-*I either leave or eat your kinship bands! Choose!*- I shout, turning to the door and trying to push it open while scrabbling with the lock.
[Silk Spray (Tier 4) Successful]
[Successful Use: 24/100]
[Con. Qi -200]
[Karma -2000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,799,236/23,843,309]
[Current Qi: 584,192/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,373,238/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
I don't think my silk will stop him from tearing the door down, but there's a satisfying muffled thump and shout behind me as I run away. Now, do I continue down the roads or go up? Pfft. I open my wings and they catch the swirling non-miasma mix that is a dense population living their best life, launching me up with very little effort.
[Launch Successful]
[Successful Use: 1/100]
[Qi -2]
[Karma -5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,799,234/23,843,308]
[Current Qi: 584,190/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,373,233/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
Wow! What bargain! Didn't I say I was going to pay more attention? But there's so much to read... Why is there so much to read... Stop complaining, me! Didn't we whine about having nothing to read? Didn't we tune this, a little, to get to this point. Find food, then work on it! We're on the "find food" part right now. The "work on it" comes later!
I sniff around, trying to find something, anything, that screams "public garden" or "garbage heap", and come up with perfume and very faint B.O. that mostly smells like old dirt. How do I know what old dirt smells like? I know what the good moist stuff for digging in smells like, but what part of me catalogued old dirt...?
My musings are interrupted as a fully dressed Wood Falcon hops up to a roof below me and begins racing along its perimeter, looking down the side streets. Oh, shiz!
[Aura of Suppression Successful]
[Successful Use: 2/100]
[Con. Qi -100]
[Karma -1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,799,134/23,843,058]
[Current Qi: 584,190/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,372,233/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
Don't bubble, don't bubble, don't bubble. Just think quiet thoughts. Quiet like a cultivator fart... Nonexistent by my will... So quiet. Wood Falcon stands on the peak of the roof, giving a quick spin, fists clenched at his sides before slumping, head back with his eyes closed. Non... He opens his eyes and starts when he sees me.
-Loud and smelly!- I scream.
[Silk Spray (Tier 4) Successful]
[Successful Use: 25/100]
[Con. Qi -200]
[Karma -2000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,798,934/23,842,558]
[Current Qi: 583,190/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,370,233/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]