[Piercing Shot Successful x3]
[Successful Use: 8/100]
[Qi -30 x3]
[Karma -5 x3]
[Feeding]
[Successful Use: 1/100]
[Qi +10,000]
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful x2]
[Successful Use: 4/100]
[Con. Qi -500 x2]
[Qi -500 x2]
[Karma 1,000 x2]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,846,704/23,958,298]
[Current Qi: 649,145/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,833,193/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
Devour
More strings equal bigger --.
[Aura of Suppression Successful]
[Successful Use: 3/100]
[Con. Qi -100]
[Karma -1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,846,604/23,958,048]
[Current Qi: 649,146/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,832,193/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
The armour around the right bicep flies free revealing ropes of hair placed like muscles in a flayed arm. I try not to breathe, curling into a ball and just dropping. I don't even bubble. Holy fuck!
In my defense I forgot I could do that. I'd just hit him with a few strings, was gonna keep pulling him after me, but then I got hungry. I'm hungry, I got straws in a powershake, I slurped. Why wouldn't I? I didn't even have to think about it.
So not only am I a disgusting, flying, buzzing, carrion eating broken fuckwad they were sent to eradicate, I just snacked on them in the middle of the fight. Mmyep. I'm gonna get squished today. Gonna get take out while I'm taken out.
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 7/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1,000]
[Piercing Shot Successful x3]
[Successful Use: 14/100]
[Qi -30 x3]
[Karma -5 x3]
[Feeding]
[Successful Use: 3/100]
[Qi +10,000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,845,104/23,958,840]
[Current Qi: 667,466/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,835,363/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
-* ♪ I'm si~ppin' on a bish! ♪ *-
A chunk of left thigh protection flies off, revealing even more silky, lustrous, golden brown locks twisted to resemble musculature. I'm already away but it doesn't stop him from doing a blurring, lightning fast, multi-hit combo where I was. If it didn't slice me into pieces he would have pulped me in the air from multiple angles.
-Disgusting INSECT!-
Think he noticed I'm not there anymore. ♪ Too bad I'm not here either! ♪
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 8/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1,000]
[Piercing Shot Successful x3]
[Successful Use: 17/100]
[Qi -30 x3]
[Karma -5 x3]
[Feeding]
[Successful Use: 4/100]
[Qi +10,000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,844,604/23,959,112]
[Current Qi: 676,876/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,836,448/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
-Cur!-
-* ♪ I'm si~ppin' on a bish! ♪ *-
-Die!- he shrieks, pieces of left shoulder flying off. I'm above him and I was aiming for his helmet but he twisted.
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 9/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1,000]
[Piercing Shot Successful x3]
[Successful Use: 20/100]
[Qi -30 x3]
[Karma -5 x3]
[Feeding]
[Successful Use: 5/100]
[Qi +10,000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,844,104/23,959,383]
[Current Qi: 686,286/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,837,533/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
-* ♪ Now he's bordering on sal~ty, ♪ *-
-SHUT UP!-
My ears start ringing as the lower right leg protections flitter off. Did he just dog whistle me? Is he so mad his tubas are cracking?
-*Puberty!*-
I cheer, both arms up, and there's a weird feather and flame pulse moving out in a circle from around mecha-maiden. Emperor honed reflexes and I collect the energy distortion as it washes over me. I pulse, but the world doesn't actually change the way it does with the emperor.
I feel cleaner. I feel like I've just taken a nice soak using some silky lather and a gentle yet exfoliating scrubby. Pampered, perfumed, and moisturized. I'm so collecting the pieces of armor. I don't remember the last time I bathed, but it's a whole other level of comforting from combing groom.
Something pings, and keeps pinging, irritating the shit outta me. I do a quick spin then look over watching as he subtly moves into a crouch while facing me. Oh!
[Silk Spray (Tier 4) Successful]
[Successful Use: 26/100]
[Con. Qi -200]
[Karma -2000]
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 10/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,843,404/23,959,158]
[Current Qi: 695,786/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,836,633/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
A bigger spitball for a bigger bish! And they blasted right into it! Whoo!
[Piercing Shot Successful x3]
[Successful Use: 23/100]
[Qi -30 x3]
[Karma -5 x3]
[Feeding]
[Successful Use: 6/100]
[Qi +10,000]
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 11/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,842,904/23,959,404]
[Current Qi: 695,196/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,837,618/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
Suck it! Arms up, wings tucked in to make sure I don't bug style tea-bag the poor bastard, and another chunk of leg covering removed from the right leg. They're not unraveling yet, but I'm kinda scared to touch the hair. ... Can I burn it?
[Arcane Fire Breath]
[Successful Use: 1/100]
[Qi -500]
[Karma -5000]
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 12/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,842,404/23,958,404]
[Current Qi: 694,196/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,833,618/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
-Ow--! Bitch...-
I don't know why that hit so hard. I let everything go and flutter to the ground like a dirty plastic bag. I swear I'm trying to take this fight seriously, but something about someone going from drama dork, "Hello, citizen!" to "Tch! Bitch." I was not prepared... I. Was not. Prepared.
Another pulse while I'm on the ground, snapping me out of my idle grooming. I notice my silk really is looking more lustrous and feeling more like silky whipped topping versus actual silk. So soft... So smooth...
-*Feelin' smexeh!*-
-Ugh, I hate bugs!-
-*We love you, too, snowflake!*- I snort, hoping the sound is lost in the tantrum I hear mecha-intern pitching in the distance. -*Super tasty!*-
-Fuck you!-
-*Language!*- I admonish them, batting my eyes in my heart.
A few more pulses and I notice that the buildings aren't being shorn up with plaster, the paint and plaster is literally turning into a glossier, silkier material.
-*Are you trying to luxuriate me to death?*- Their special technique is giving a salon treatment?
-I'm purifying, asshole!-
A brief glimpse of golden locks in the distance and I freeze as my brain tries to process what I just saw. The hair was golden brown, right? Like dark blonde, light brown. Like delicious baked good crusty, flaky, golden brown. ... When'd the hair turn pink?
-*Are you blushing?*-
Mecha-Hairzilla screeching roars, the cords of hair looking a little more tousled, but still too neat, too smooth to be anything other than styled. Heat and humidity? Or literal dirt? But he's constantly purifying... Why is he losing cohesion now?
Ooh! Ice and fire! I'm gonna hit him with chunks of ice, then vaporize that and see how his hair handles the humidity! ... Fuck, I'm toxic!
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 13/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1000]
[Ice Scale Successful]
[Successful Use: 1/100]
[Qi -250]
[Karma -250]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,841,904/23,958,592]
[Current Qi: 693,446/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,834,368/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
I shift, same as always, just pointed in the general direction of mecha-hairzilla while letting my thoughts wander, wind up standing on their exposed hair, and panic launch my ice attack. It's not fast to condense and I tense and pray that I don't start eating as the scale-shaped blades form in the icy mist gathering around me. I swear the hair is freezing, slowly turning stiff and crunchy as my attack continues to form. What is this cast time? I clench when hairzilla continues to scan the area, giving a little shuddering kick that does nothing to dislodge me.
-Hmm?- he looks down, distracted by the cold or something else.
Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.
I avoid eye contact, release my attack, then shift away as his scream of rage turns into a yelp.
-It's stinging me!-
-*Who are you talking to?*-
[Arcane Fire Breath Successful]
[Successful Use: 2/100]
[Qi -500]
[Karma -5000]
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 14/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,841,404/23,957,592]
[Current Qi: 692,446/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,830,368/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
-Stop!-
...
-*No?*-
I keep my wings tucked in as tightly as I can, idly grooming while mecha-hairzilla checks the damage I've done to their leg. I shifted back at the wrong angle to nail the spot where the ice chips are, but they exploded when the lazer beam what was arcane fire breath tagged the leg nearby. Not sure if it was timing or just something that was going to happen, but it works out for me.
More mecha-hairzilla shrieking. He'd tried to smooth the lightly tangled hair down, and I can see from my vantage that there's a lot of hair falling to the ground. So, not natural shedding? Does he have split ends? Breakage from poor hair treatment, gasp!
[Arcane Fire Breath Successful]
[Successful Use: 3/100]
[Qi -500]
[Karma -5000]
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 15/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,840,904/23,956,592]
[Current Qi: 691,446/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,826,368/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
Heh!
-That's it!- he squats, fists clenched, trembling with what I can actually see is rage.
Why didn't I get any of that? Or did I?
-*With what?*- So toxic...
-This world needs to be cleansed!- he hiss blasts, standing and raising one hand, palm up like he's going to sweep his clawed hand down.
Hmm? It gets brighter. I look up and see the sun. No. Yes? No? No. It's a large pale golden ball, super close, not generating heat, bigger than me in my queen moth form, and it's slowly coming down. But not where mecha-hairzilla is standing. Did he not do this? Who dis? Why am I hungry. Holy, shit! Is it really just a giant snack grenade?!
-*Fuck yes!*-
[Greater Personal Transfer x2 Successful]
[Successful Use: 17/100]
[Con. Qi -500 x2]
[Qi -500 x2]
[Karma 1000]
[Enshroud Successful]
[Successful Use: 1/100]
[Con. Qi -75]
[Karma -75]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,839,829/23,957,073]
[Current Qi: 690,446/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,828,293/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
I shift closer, wrap it up as best I can, then pack that bad boy away. Yoink! Wrapped up and banked. Got me a snack for later! Wonder if it'll taste the same? Probably not. This shit's quality! And purified? Whoo, doggy!
-What'd you just do?-
-*Hmm?*-
Fack! How embarrassing. In the middle of a fight and I get a snack for later. And I did it on purpose. It's still a reflex, but I made a conscious decision to pack a snack for later. In the middle of a life or death battle against an opponent that could probably smash me if they could find me.
-What... Did you do?!-
Does he honestly think I'm just gonna confess? That shit was embarrassing for the both of us. Better to pretend it didn't happen.
[Greater Personal Transfer x2 Successful]
[Successful Use: 19/100]
[Con. Qi -500 x2]
[Qi -500 x2]
[Karma 1000 x2]
[Piercing Shot X3 Successful]
[Successful Use: 26/100]
[Con. Qi -30]
[Karma -5]
[Feeding]
[Successful Use: 7/100]
[Qi +10,000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,838,829/23,957,598]
[Current Qi: 699446/5850300]
[Current Karma: 95,830,393/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
-Fuck off!- he screams, the helm pulling free, the armor collapsing off of the hair monster that is his well-groomed self, revealing that he really is just a mass of hair. And eyes.
There's a crown of golden eyes across what would have been his brow if his main eye wasn't where I think a mouth should be. But maybe he's not hunan and he's perfectly normal, who am I to judge? Eyes on the shoulders, another giant eye in the center of the chest, and another eye below where the belly-button should be, but above where I'd take offense. Everything else is just hair.
It's interesting to see the equivalent of a farmer's tan on hair. The parts that were exposed aren't as tightly twisted, shiny, or smooth. And those legs are looking rough. Literally. Burnt. Not even soggy. Kinda greasy, even. ... Imma eat an eye.
[Greater Personal Transfer x2 Successful]
[Successful Use: 21/100]
[Con. Qi -500 x2]
[Qi -500 x2]
[Karma 1000 x2]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,838,829/23,957,598]
[Current Qi: 699,446/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,830,393/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
Testing... I barely escape the blast from him smacking himself trying to squish me. I'd moved to and away. That's it. No delays. Nothing cute or fancy. And I still got hit with backdraft. Him's quick!
I flick my antenna in annoyance. I know he's faster, but has he been posturing and showing off this whole time? I'm taking bites of him, and stripping him, and he's still not taking me seriously? Or was the purifying ring and the poorly pulled mega-grenade the best he's got? Well, outside of physicality?
-I'm not a --!-
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 22/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,837,329/23,958,348]
[Current Qi: 697,946/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,833,393/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
My rant is stopped short by me flinching away from the golden wig statue staring down at me with glowing irises.
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 23/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,836,829/23,958,598]
[Current Qi: 697,446/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,834,393/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
I shift and I'm face to face with the wig monster.
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 24/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,836,329/23,958,848]
[Current Qi: 696,946/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,835,393/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
And again.
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 25/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,838,829/23,957,598]
[Current Qi: 699,446/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,836,393/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
And again.
[Greater Personal Transfer Successful]
[Successful Use: 26/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,835,329/23,959,348]
[Current Qi: 695,946/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,837,393/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
... I shift into my void and wonder if there's a way for me to look out. Can he destroy my anchor? Can he break in? A floating eye pops into being directly in front of me.
-*Toupee.*-
The eye blinks at me.
-*What?*- the emperor's proxy looks heckin' confused.
I collapse onto the ground, breath bellowing, pulse and energy racing. How the hell did I hold that for so long? I was wondering why I was so calm. But I wasn't! Ugh. Why does relief hurt so much?
-There's a mecha-wig monster and it's energy manipulation is shit but it figured out my shifting trick and it was gonna smash me so I came in here and then you showed up and I thought it was him so I called him a toupee.-
The emperor blinks then laughs. And it's just laughter. The world doesn't change. At all. No thunder. No shaking. No autumn. Just a laughing eyeball.
-Ugh.- I sit up and recoil. What are my standards? -And I'm not bad in a fight. I'm just not a melee spec!-
-*Keep telling yourself that...*- he snickers, drifting off.
-So everyone's really big on hitting stuff really hard? They've got magic and everyone hard turned into a basic bish?- Seriously?
Well, to be fair, my main focus was on eating magical foods... I kinda want to take up real crafting and cooking, but I kinda have to survive. ...
-When you came in did you hear me say "toupee"?- That was a send to the wig demon's big green eye. The emperor's eye is golden red...
-*Hm? No?*- the emperor sputters then laughs again. -*You told the heavenly agent, in a send, that it was a toupee?*-
-To be fair I was also kinda eating it,- I point out. Not sure if he was watching. -Were you watching the fight?-
-*Nah. Figured you'd win or get away. You don't really do the whole "dying" thing,*- he mumbles, puttering around the kitchen, making more deliciousness.
-No, I can do dying. I do dying real good. Once I did it for several months straight.- We're joking about this because we both know I'm fucked.
-*How were you eating it?*- the emperor, just a floating eyeball for a proxy, tosses some battered veggies in a skillet, handsfree, the skillet itself looking like a borked animation.
-Piercing shots and some weird eating skill. I was feeding on their Qi. Pretty sure they're way past Qi levels,- I scoff. The system is giving me dumbed down messages for my sake, so I don't really know what's going on.
-*Ha! Yeah, no. You take will and soul flame and turn it into Qi and then process that. Like a whole lot of extra steps.*- Do what now? -*You'd think if you could process soul flame you'd just keep it as soul flame. But breaking stuff is kinda your thing.*-
-I used arcane fire on him and he went, "Ow! Bitch..."-
While the emperor's laughing and trying to cook while not destroying my kitchen, -- I am the worst person to try to be productive around -- I try to process that I can convert things into Qi. Like. I've been doing that. But what all have I been wasting, and how bad is the conversion? Am I money lending myself ten-thousand Qi in exchange for an imperial palace? I give me palace and I'll be kind enough to give me ten-thousand Qi? How bad am I wasting shit?
-*To be fair you're not just instantly dying touching soul flame, so it's a profit either way,*- the emperor points out, plating up some golden crunchy goodness while I imagine me ashing like his proxy. -*Let's enjoy this.*-
-Way to put it in perspective,- I mumble, not hungry but how often do I turn down a meal? I bite into something that's crispy and crunchy, sweet and savory, and satisfying in a way that you only get with homecooked food. -Thanks for the meal.-
-*Still got it!*- he nearly glows as he starts prepping more vegetables, cutting them into weird shapes with a free-floating knife that I don't know if I spawned or he brought with him.