Bitch.
I’ve been asleep for 3 years and he’s gonna ask me to take a nap so I don’t mess up their home any more? Their home? Let’s see who’s home this is! I stare at him as I get up and wander off.
I look around to see if this area is just one kind of grass, and it appears to be, although the stalks aren’t very high, probably chest high on them even if it goes over my head. I look back when I hear a noise, speeding up in case they’re going to try to scoop me, but they’re just flinging their hands at me in annoyance. I stop and watch as Red turns around, talking to the others and shooing them on, everyone going about their day like I’m not about to fix what they did to my home.
That’s helpful, I guess.
I keep walking, checking for anything that’s not just cultivated rows of grains. No weeds, no secondary plants, no other wild life. They legit just cleared out everything and have one thing going. There’s no variety. How’s this natural? I can hear, and with a thought see, one of the not bears clearing the damaged crops still. It didn’t feel like the bus did that much damage, but it was huge, and it had thrashed around for a while. Huh.
Moving on. There’s a section of dirt, tilled, possibly old refuse left to decompose, but why? Oh, probably because the fishing thing was taking all of my Qi to maintain. Wait. How much Qi do I have, again?
[Name: Kisandera “Kissy Kissy” or “Sandy” or “Eclipsed Rainbow”]
[Affiliation(s): Thousand Valleys, Seven Moons, Companion of the Sacred Phoenix Sovereign, Inner Void Productions, Wimble Sunrise, Scarlet Silk Society, The Naturalists, Hunter’s Association, Eager Heart]
[Race: Celestial Void Moth Queen[Shattered] (Saint)] 🦋
[Current Form: Reduced]
[Current Realm: Shimmering(Tier 5)]
[Current Karma: 95,269,897/107,275,977]
[Master: Shimmering Steel]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
Rank: SS
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,474]
[Current Qi: 1,811,502/957,945,100]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
Okay, is that good or bad? I still haven’t gone up a realm, but I’m not starving, so… … Have I always had that much money? Hmm…
I keep wandering while checking my status. I don’t think my Qi was that high, pretty sure I converted a lot of it to Condensed Qi, but my Condensed Qi was… I don’t remember. I have enough to do stuff without dying and I’ve been down for 3 years with the Four Bears --.
I stop and whip around to face the direction that the Quartet had disappeared off into. There’s pits, true, but they’ve got burrows, apparently. The little hills are their homes, so they still dig and burrow, yeah, but I thought they were rats. Why do I have four big ass bears in my void when I had little wombat babies.
-What the fuck?- I scream whisper, turning and trotting away faster.
Did someone come into my void and take the babies then plant these assholes to pretend to be them whenever I woke up? But the coloring is familiar, and they’re not just dyed, they’ve got blood essence in ‘em. And poison. Holy shit do some of them have so much the poison. I think one of them survived shiver thorn.
-Hmm...-
I’ve stopped. There’s a wide dirt area, prepped for more farming, no doubt, but I stopped here, becauses…? I take to the skies, just shifting to hover over my house~! Oh! This is where the hill I had my house was! At least I think it was. Kinda basing it on where the river lake is, and there’s less ground to go because there’s no hill, – fucking, really? Did they have to lower the whole place? -- and there’s no sign of any of my shit. No rock, no ruin, just tilled dirt.
Huh.
A quick check and everyone’s home so I hop over to the river for another quick what the fuck. Fucking taking inventory is gonna take forever.
So there’s weeds in the rice, little water plants, but I don’t know if that’s on purpose or someone’s neglecting their duties. Speaking of duties, I need to plant my ass somewhere. I’m not gonna be homeless in my own fucking void. Fucking --. I just made those stoves! Fack! I just rebuilt the kitchen and now the whole thing’s gone! Really? Cool.
I vigorously splash through the rice fields, startling a lot of fish, scaled and shelled. I’m tempted to stop for a snack, but I don’t want to disrupt things too badly. Even if I get rid of the bears I might keep the more productive changes. I wanted a fish farm, I’ve got one. I needed to go through all of the storages and not clutter my bank. Ta-da! Still don’t know if they sold my shit or just broke it. Or recycled it. Fuck, how much do I lose on recycling?
That’s the dirt, the river, what about the hill I was going to turn into the fish farm? I reorient on the river then drop down near the burrows. One of the bears sees me and starts shouting, trying to shoo me or scare me off. I pull a random fish from my bank launching it at them, and the creepy eel bastard starts burrowing. I yelp and run away, cause no, and the bear is sufficiently distracted by the snake thingy to leave me the fuck alone.
Win?
I sniffle snuffle and I’m not picking up anyone other than the four I’ve already run into. I’m also picking up wine and tasty things. I listen and tiptoe closer to one of the burrows, -- they don’t have doors or anything. They literally tear down my nice, roomy organized --. Fuck that, they literally tore down the hill the house was on! -- and listen for movement. Pots. There are tons of sealed pots in inset shelves and lining the wall with a pile of grass across the rather spacious room.
I move towards the closest pot, -- kinda pointless to check to make sure no one’s here if someone’s here and they run me out, -- scrape it open, -- is this mud or clay? It’s super crumbly when dry, -- and I’m greeted with something that smells like blood and strawberries at the same time.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
[Burning Blood Poison Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,507/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,902/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
When I get a quick sip I feel refreshed. It’s a mixed berry wine. Spiced. Kinda like cider. But with berries. Mm. This is definitely a summer wine. Wonder if it heats up well…? Oh, my yes! Warm mixed berry cider during the fall… Mmm…
[Burning Blood Poison Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,512/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,907/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
I take another sip then put the lid back on. I don’t bother sealing it, but I definitely need to figure out how she made that. I move on to the next jar, pop the seal, -- this one smells like licorice, -- and take a sip.
[Black Thoughts Venom Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,517/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,912/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
Hm. That one tastes like black licorice. Not a fan. Think this one’s just a “mood” wine. Unless it tastes better warm…? Moving on.
[Flashing Blood Poison Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,522/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,917/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
Tastes like cinnamon and … some kind of red fruit. Not apples, not strawberries, not cherries… Raspberry? Cinnamon and raspberry? I give a little head shake. Not sure how I feel about that. It’s definitely a taste.
[Blood Flashing Poison Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,527/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,922/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
Same name, different flavor. This one tastes like sweet grapes. Literally just wine. Pretty tasty, true. Maybe even a classic, some might say. Looking for tea though, so a definite pass. The other juices were nice, but this bitch tastes basic. Pretty, but a pass for me. Meh. I’ll call it a mood wine.
Now, I know she’s got some tea in here somewhere…
[Dancing Needle Wine Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,532/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,927/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
Tastes like lemon flavored seltzer water. I close it and move on to another pot.
[Heaven’s Desire Wine Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,537/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,932/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
Holy shit! Did she bootleg Saint Wine or ruin it? It doesn’t taste watered down so much as it tastes like they didn’t let it ferment long enough. Or the ingredients were only so-so. It’s not bad, but if I never had the real thing I might think this was it. On goes the lid, to the next pot goes I.
[Molten Yearning Wine Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,547/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,942/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
Another cinnamon berry. I don’t know if the combination is growing on me, but I kinda like this one.
[Molten Yearning Wine Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,527/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,922/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
No, it’s definitely this wine. I like it. I put the lid back on and move on to the next.
[Aching Reverie Wine Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,552/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,947/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
Tastes like a fruity knockoff Saint’s Wine. Why are all of these wines? I thought they were poison? Oh. A quick flash of insight, most poisons were hidden as something innocuous. These are literally wines made of poison though. I don’t hate them. I give a shrug, put the lid on and move on to the next.
[Clay Vein Poison Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,557/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,952/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
Oh, yuck! It’s like literally drinking clay water. What was that called? Slick? Silt? It’s just watery clay! Nope. I hastily put the lid back on, grooming to try to get the taste out of my mouth as I grab another jar.
[Falling Star Poison Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,562/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,957/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
Oh, fuck, they made liquid pop rocks. Whoo! I scream and cackle as my mouth fizzes and explodes. It’s not so much a taste as a sensation. It’s fun, but definitely not a casual drink. What’s next? I put the lid on and move on to the next jar.
[Eight-Headed Dragon Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,567/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,962/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
Oh, wow --. Help! My head rolls as I try to figure out what to focus on. There’s numbing, fizzy tingling, silkiness, a bite of spiciness with out the actual heat, seltzer bitterness and then a sweet syrupiness. Fuck eight heads, this thing has split personalities! I’m gonna need to be drunk before I touch this shit again.
-Ack!- I put the cap back on and shove it into a corner before shoving the other jars to keep it there.
A quick shudder and I stare at the next pot, wondering what I’m going to encounter next.
-Time to sack up and get my big girl bra on,- I take a deep breath, head up, and march over to break the seal on the next jar.
[Shimmering Illusion Consumed]
[Qi +5]
[Karma +5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,572/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,967/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
-This just tastes like diet soda,- I stare at the pot in disappointment. No one told me that it was a full sugar soda, but I’ve still got the same disappointment.
Drinking just a basic diet soda after having a full-blown taste bud melt down is such a let down that I’m not even looking for anything else to drink. Watch the next thing I crack open be just purified water or a gamer pot. I just wanted tea.
Dejected I wander deeper into the home hole to find there are not chests per se, but woven baskets. How the fuck are they advanced enough to make pottery but they can’t make a wooden box? What the fuck did they do with all the wood from all the trees they cleared? I groan loudly, frustrated, annoyed, disappointed in everything. I just wanted tea and fucking fish paste. Maybe with some nice bread to go with it. Instead I get some demon fish god, diet soda, and an edible scrubbing pad. Peh!
I ruffle through the baskets, idly scooping a mouthful of leaves from each basket. To be fair, they’re pretty cleverly constructed. There’s a lid that is still attached by a strap somehow, so there’s no misplacing it. They look layered, and I don’t know if that’s so stuff doesn’t fall out or just to reinforce the shape of the little round cube structures.
-All these leaves and not a single notification… Or is it because they’re simple items and not finish products?-
I keep eating while I try to figure out why I can get Qi and stuff from some foods and not others, regardless of how much I eat. There’s a thin leaf, dried, that tastes like potato chips, I still haven’t found any tea, and I’m tempted to withdraw and cook up some more of the bus. I’m not hungry now, but I still haven’t found my fucking tea bushes. Kinda suspect that some of the poisons were made with shiver thorn, mostly the tingly ones, but I don’t see any.
-Hmm...-
I idly wander out to keep checking to see what all they’ve done to fuck up my void. Tch! Elevation equals status in this world, and these bitches got me looking basic as fuck. Plains? Really? All my hills! Ugh.
Why the woods?
I haven’t seen a single wooden structure or object, and they’ve clear cut a lot of wood. Why the fuck are there woods, and where the fuck did all the wood go? Are they hiding something in the --.
I stop and turn back to the smoking pits. What are they burning and why? I go to head back to the burrow, hear enraged screaming, turn back around and head back to get lost in the woods. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. The shouting changes, feeling more pointed, and I cheat and see the screams are bellows and my ass is sparkly.
Well, not literally sparkly, but my scales are shimmering under my silk occasionally, and that was enough to tell on me. I scream and race into the trees, darting around, but no one comes after me. Guess they realize who’s in charge. I snort and keep trotting into the trees.
The trees look mundane, and a quick nibble of a few doesn’t yield any interesting textures or flavors, so I guess they’re just mundane wood. Or I don’t like the trees I sampled, although there was a variety.
-Or maybe I need to boil them?-
Does boiling bark make --. I can feel the ghost of Silent Howl glaring at me, waiting for me to finish the thought. Like I haven’t made decent teas from boiling random shit. I really do need to find out where the hell that guild is… Meh, that means going back into the Emperor’s influence and dealing with his bullshit. Or I can work on not looking like a noob and figure out where all my shit went. Is Renegade Valley accessible from Golden Sun --.
Light Bearer’s language is the local language. Fack. Wait. Why does Rising Sun use a different language if the emperor came from Golden Sun?
-Hmm?-
I come back from my musings to see I’ve trotted back to the lake, or what’s left of it. It wasn’t very deep, but it was pretty expansive. So I’ve got a clear, wide, muddy area away from the burrows, infused with “Bad Water”, and I still have a pool of Qi to work through.
-This is my spot,- I declare to no one in my own Void. All it takes is one long nap and I’ll wake up to it being a flower shop. -Imma eat those flowers.-
I walk around the lake perimeter, spawning an umber bush every few dozen yards. How’s that for a fence?
“Are you crazy? Don’t plant that death around here!”
I bristle, crouching down as one of the quartet comes at me. I turn and run, flinging fish at them as I do. I start screaming and sprinting towards the lake as the others try to flank me. This is my void! Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do, when and where after you destroyed my stuff?! I was trying to save you, you ungrateful bastards! I’m not even setting up near you!
-Assholes!- I scream when I realize they’re banking the fish once they’re in range to get smacked by them.
I grumble, still running and dropping bushes while I revoke their permissions. It really is just an effort of will. No banking for you! See if I don’t stop you from withdrawing! I shift over to where my house used to be and Red pops right over. I gasp, indignant that this bitch is using my system to hunt me down in my void.
-Not today!- I scream, narrowing my eyes and shifting up. -Dumbass!-
I deny the request for me to transfer over to Red, just hovering and daring them to try that shit again. They do and it is so satisfying to see them realize they fucked up. Not even a breath later Red’s back, still looking horrified at their self-imposed falling simulator. They can get to where I am, sure, but they can’t get to me. Another beat and they’re back, flailing and still horrified.
I settle in, wondering how they have to make the request that it takes time for it to go through. Although, to be fair, when I want to change something I have to sort my thoughts out and then think of what I want to happen. If my thoughts were a repeating litany of “Oh, shit” I might have a hard time thinking “Go here”, too.
I wonder if the others have a way to help. I could literally just move over to --. Red drops down on me from above. I curse and thrash, telling them to piss off while trying to shake them loose. I don’t have to go anywhere and they can’t get a good grip. I was still waking up before, but my grubby trap ass has defenses when I’m awake. Well, more than bite me and die so I can eat you.
“What is wrong with you?” Red bellows.
Did they really? I latch on to them, spinning until I’m holding them, then fling them towards where my house used to be.
[Body Slam Succcessful]
[Successful Use 1/100]
[Qi -25]
[Karma -5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,167/23,817,475]
[Current Qi: 1,811,547/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 95,269,962/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,687R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
-Give me back my house!- I shout, transferring to them and slamming them so that they scrape along the fields, tearing up the crops even more. -You change my lands, destroy my home, get rid of all of my food, and try to order me around?! This is my void! The Council rules out there, but here you answer to me!-
“I liked it better when it was asleep,” the smallest robed figure quips as the others finally catch up and try to help Red.
-You did not.-
Imma ‘bout to fuck up their shit. My shit. Fack!