The doggo shuffles a couple of stones around, taking one up in its mouth, chewing lightly before letting the stone fall back to the ground. ... It licks its mouth, not sure if the rock is a later snack or a not food at all, then the ground explodes.
[Aura of Suppression Successful]
[Successful Use: 31/100]
[Con. Qi -90]
[Karma -900]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,841,947/23,884,588]
[Current Qi: 332,392/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,538,353/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,597,021]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
Doggo barks, I crouch down, and some psychotic bastard bursts from underneath the stone cover. The stone shatters, flying into the air in surprisingly small chunks, the uniformed figure -- their silhouette is weirdly marching band uniform-y -- windmilling their arms, throwing tons of dirt and stone everywhere. Silently.
There's no noise from the stone exploding. No noise from the dirt shower. I swear I heard doggo bark when all of this started happening, but I don't hear anything now. I barely get a chance to study the sky, which looks starry black with ribbons of blue black, before the figure kicks off with one leg, one arm extended, the other tucked in, fist at their hip, and the bastard hero flies at me.
Both feet extended behind them, body parallel to the ground, they fly at me fist first like I'm gonna just stand there and let them hit me. And I see doggo miss, lunging at their throat and missing, not even moving fast enough to snag their pantleg as they fly by.
Something tells me to jump up and out of the way, but if I'm jumping, why wouldn't I fly or dodge? And they're flying at hunan head height. At most I top out at maybe knee on a man and hip on a woman.
Why are the women so short? Me and mine were tall. Shimmering Steel was shorter than us, but she's tall for a woman, I guess. Me and Persephone are bite-sized though. I blame the emperor.
[Piercing Shot Successful]
[Successful Use: 37/100]
[Qi -30]
[Karma -5]
[Anchor Sigil Successful]
[Successful Use: 25/100]
[Qi -75]
[Karma -5]
[Aura of Suppression Successful]
[Successful Use: 32/100]
[Con. Qi -90]
[Karma -900]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,841,857/23,884,362]
[Current Qi: 332,317/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,537,448/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,597,021]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
The figure passes over me and I string punch them in the gut. Their arms go straight as they hang stiffly at their sides, legs still straight, body lightly folding as they slowly flip over.
-Nut shot!- It's not, but still funny.
The figure lands on its feet, turns by hopping, and stares at me blankly. Okay, they understood what I was saying, and they are not amused. Well shit. ... Their Jacket reaches to their ankles, slit at the sides for movement, and I think I misunderstood. I think I really did nut punch them.
-Ha!-
Doggo goes after the figure, hauling ass and snappy-jawed, but more excited than full frenzy. Although it looks like they'll work their way there in no time. The figure jumps over the dog as it gets close, just a quick hop, legs tucked underneath it, lands, then raises both arms, and starts hopping towards me. What the fuck?
-Ew! Stop! Weirdo!- I recoil. I don't know what kind of attack they have charged that they have to use such a weird pose, but they're gonna have to drop that shit if they wanna come get me.
They keep hopping over, doggo taking pot shots that they shake off easily. Literally hopping at me, doggo latches onto their pants leg, a hip bump knocks doggo loose. Pupper jumps at them? They just twist, duck, even side lunge, then continue hopping at me. If you can move your leg in order to move to the side like that, you can walk normally. Asshole!
[Aura of Suppression Successful]
[Successful Use: 33/100]
[Con. Qi -90]
[Karma -900]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,841,767/23,884,137]
[Current Qi: 332,317/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,536,548/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,597,021]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
Fucking weirdo... I crouch shuffle away, realizing that maybe they can't see me considering they tried to rocket punch over my head. They're not trying to kill the doggo, yet, but that might change soon. Doggo looking kinda drool-y...
Wait. Are they hopping because of the nut shot? The figure makes it to where I was, confirming that they can't see me. They look down, -- dejected or confused? I'm not there! -- then they bring up their fucking arms again and start hopping directly at me.
... Fucking scales! I skirt around inside the silent dirt cloud, shuffling to put pupper between me and the imperial mime with a silent prayer that the mime recovers from the crotch shot soon. Because this hopping thing needs to stop.
The mime hops to where I'd parked my ass to watch it, arms dropping back to their sides, staring at the ground before it raises its arms, then starts hopping along my getaway path. Can I lead it in circles? Or convince it that I'm leading it in circles? How intelligent is it? And how the hell could it hear me when I can't hear anything or did I release a cloud of scales during my victory shouts?
Hmm? It stops hopping, head and arms down, eyes tracing my path -- fack! -- until he stops where I am. Then looks up. To stare me in the eyes. If I were at hunan height.
Welp. I'm surrounded by will-less scales, but I can whip up a scale cloud. Maybe I'll get another friend?
[Scale Dust Cloud Successful]
[Successful Use: 34/100]
[Qi -150]
[Karma -1350]
[Aura of Suppression Successful]
[Successful Use: 34/100]
[Con. Qi -90]
[Karma -900]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,841,677/23,883,574]
[Current Qi: 332,167/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,534,298/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,597,021]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
The scales in the surrounding area swirl together then plaster to the figure. The dog, ears perked, head cocked to the side, looks on with eyebrows raised as we both watch this glitter statue which in turn stares back blankly.
-*Friendly?*- I really need to come up with a better greeting.
I feel something grab me by my collar. Inside my head. Come again?
-*Now I've got you!*-
Beg pardon?
[Qi Drained]
[Qi -100]
[Karma 10]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,841,677/23,883,574]
[Current Qi: 332,067/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,534,298/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,597,021]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
No inflection. Whatsoever. Weird movements. Ignoring the doggo. Can't see me with its eyes. Trying to drain me of Qi which is like life.
-*Tch! Fucking undead!*-
[Feeding Successful]
[Qi 1000]
[Karma 10]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,841,677/23,883,577]
[Current Qi: 333,047/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,534,308/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,597,021]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
Whoever the frick this is, -- didn't even notice their name was just a weird black and grey cloud. Nevermind the fact that there is something written out but it looks like it got damp and the ink smeared, -- they release the most bullshit, dramatic death cry, flinging an arm up to cover their face as they turn their head away, their other arm flung back, just high society lady finding out her diamonds are glass.
Until the bubble of midnight blows away like dust.
[Barrier x2 Successful]
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
[Successful Use: 21/100]
[Qi -10 x2]
[Karma -5 x2]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,841,677/23,883,577]
[Current Qi: 333,047/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,534,308/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,597,021]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
I scream, shield and cower, bubbling myself, and snapping one around the doggo, defaulting to wimble, clenching my cloacas -- plural? What? Not important! -- when I think I filled the bubbles with wimble energy, fearing I hurt the doggo, but these bubbles are hollow. Whoo!
The the fucking undead bastard just falls over, lying on its back and looking for all the world like it's just taking a fucking nap. Faking its death? Really. How old are we?
-What the fuck?!- I shriek, just noise blasting with no feeling, because I know this isn't over, dramatic asshole.
-We won!- Pupper cheers, scaring the shit outta me when I'm waiting for ze dipsheet in ze fancy dress to realize I'm not falling for their bullshit.
-Shit!- My nerves... I can't take this... Ack!
I flop onto my side, breathing heavily as the pupper just stares at me. It wanders over, sniffs me, gives an anemic tail wag, then wanders over to the "corpse", chewing unhurriedly on its arm.
After a few minutes of just giving up on everything the dog tires of my antics, comes over, then drags me in the hole the hopper came out of. Is it trying to bury me? I stay limp as the dog backs into the hole, dragging me in after it, and into the tunnel underneath.
Not even three seconds into the tunnel it expands into a wide, stone brick hallway. The dog keeps dragging me along the uneven ground, giving me plenty of time to study the crude yet sturdy construction.
-Where are you taking me?-
The dog finally releases me, just straight up dropping me before staring at me with its new found uninterested blankness. It blinks, turns around, and heads deeper into the weird complex. What the fuck?
I flail, climbing to me feet and following after, the dog looking back at me, briefly, before continuing on its way. Manic, rabid, excitable, disinterested, lethargic. This pup needs to be evened out. I glare at it as it sits down, slowly catching up to it and it gives me another over the shoulder look before turning its back on me. Again.
I'm brought out of my internal grumbling by the chanting the dog is listening to. Oh~. The dog stopped short of entering a large chamber, filled with more hoppers. There's a whole room of I guess servants with a small group of more elaborately dressed painted doll people sitting on a raised dais.
White faces, red cheeks, large, heavy robes, the one on the left has belted robes with elaborate shoulders, the one on the right has elaborate sleeves and a more flowing belted robe. Lefty has a hat, righty has another elaborate bead and hair construction that doubles as a light source with how its reflecting the hundred of candles planted on the stairs leading up to their seats.
There's a massive table covered with a cloth so heavily embroidered I wonder that the table can support it nevermind the rest of the decorations on top. Every inch of table space is filled with large, elaborate, gaudy, no doubt heavy AF dishes made of beaten, polished, engraved, and bejewelled golden metal. The person in the less elaborate chair is drinking from a large goblet that two other people have to hold up to them, while lefty drinks from another elaborate mug that's oversized, but they're able to use one hand instead of two servants.
-Where's the food?-
Every dish, cup, bowl, platter and general vessel is empty. Blank. Clean and shiny but unadorned with sustenance. And everyone's going through the motions of serving the two in the raised chairs and twenty less elaborately dressed, black robed and cup of tasseled boob hatted minions at low tables. And every one, including the dog, stops and stares at me like I'm the one being weird when they're having an elaborate, imaginary tea party.
And apparently they're weird, period. So it's not just me. They don't hop here, choosing to shuffle rapidly, heads bowed, hands tucked into their sleeves, politely not dragging their feet and taking forever. But they're definitely coming to kick my ass. For calling them out on not having any food. And throwing a feast. With the good dishes.
-How are you going to at me for calling you out on your bullshit?- I snark before someone leaps, catching so much air as they try to come down on me, both hands clawed.
I dodge to the left as they come down, ducking right as they plant a leg, squatting and stretching, one leg stretched out to the side. So they can big step, hop and shuffle, but running is out of the question? What kind of technicality are they trying to exploit that jumping like a jackass is socially acceptable but running is out?
Left, right, left, together, swipe to the side, all with claws out. I don't know if they're trying to play a fake piano and using me as an excuse, or if this fight is something I should be embarrassed about. They're not touching me and I'm just ducking and scooting from one side to the other, backing away if they're squatting over me. Not letting you rub your balls on me!
That's a good point. I run from the servant -- servant? guard? cosplayer? -- and do a quick scan. Men. They're not all men. There's a few women dressed like men in the officials, almost as many as are dressed in elaborate gowns. Servants? Maybe one in ten.
I hop over to the table. Yes, I'm mocking them. Yes, I'm going to wreck their shitty tea party. Why'd the dog bring me here? This is what they get for being creepy. Fucking corpses! So many people and not a scrap of food. So many dishes. So much stuff. And --.
Are they eating jelly? Oh~! I thought they were just going through the motions. There's some weird gold colored jelly slices arranged artfully, jelly molded shapes, bowls of golden liquid, everything matching the color of the dishes. My bad.
-My bad. I thought you guys were playing make-believe,- I mumble, bowing apologetically before hopping back off of the table.
The servants frown at me, turning to check on the guests and their lord and lady before shuffling after me, making shooing motions. Like I'm a stray animal that wandered into their party. Even though I've been talking. And not one of them said fuck all to me.
-Let it go, me...-
I did come into their house, well, got dragged, after taking out their guard, that the dog triggered, and then insulted their meal, that blended in with all the dishes. The fuck are they eating, anyway?
There's a weird sound and I ignore the servant flanking me to see the doggo, on its hindlegs, paws to either side of a large dish, going in on a bowl on the edge of the table. And no one is stopping them.
Wait. Is it literally 'cause I talked? They're mad at me because I ruined their creepy corpse dinner?
I feel myself winding up before there's a shout, and a servant leaps at the dog, which keeps eating, the servant's stiff flailing being ignored. I flop to the ground, the servant shooing me out straddling me before picking me up, the other servant on the dog looking around in blank, silent, desperation. Until he notices the servant standing while holding me.
But I'm more concerned about the dog. What the fuck is in that jelly? The servant that came after me walks me to the hallway, sets me down, points out of the room, back the way the dog led me, then turns to handle the excitable pooch with the bristling fur, spikes growing along its spine and joints, and a second tail forming. Is it an allergy or an evolution? Is the pupper all jacked up on jelly and going to crash or pop?
I groom as I wait to see how this turns out, the undead servant leaping across the room to help the hapless soulless bastard who apparently either knew that the dog was going to have a reaction, or still hasn't noticed that the dog has started transforming. I'm gonna bet on the second one seeing how the servant that came after me is currently winding up while the lost servant is still looking around for help.
When the pet wrangler comes down with the chop they'd raised above their head, the impact to the dog's back, right between its shoulder blades, bounces off of one of the newly grown spines. The force transfers through the pooch, into the table, splitting it, and finally distracting the weird little derp from its meal. There's a roar, a growl, the dog's hackles rising before it whips around, looking less retriever and more wolf croc, teeth curving out of its mouth in radical directions before it lunges, claws out.
The guests at the low tables all watch blankly, exchanging silent looks, but the lady on the high chair looks furious while the man on the high chair looks like he remembers what it is to be alive. He's almost smiling.
It's weird to know that the dog is using sentient claw strikes, only snapping its jaws as a follow up, targeting the legs of the retreating servant that wrangled me while the other servant continues to mill around like a broken doll possessed by the spirit of a lost child. Aw... I made myself sad.
I get up to help with the croc-cat-dragon-dog, but the second I climb to my feet the servant that dropped me where I am whips his head around to glare at me. I shrug and lay back down. I was gonna help, but apparently he's fine. The fight isn't as one-sided as the topside fight, the dog being dodged, true, but the strikes are barely missing and the servant actually has to keep his focus.
On the dog he's leading over to me. Wait. Or is he just trying to get the dog into the hall? I get ready to dodge, wondering if the servant is honestly going to drop aggro on me or if the dog will remember me.
It brought me here for a reason, right? Thought it was gonna show me out. Nope. Thought it was gonna lead me to food. Maybe? Thought it was maybe intelligent.
The servant high stepping back towards me, using his legs as lures and just stomping backwards, suddenly whips around, whipping something out from inside his upper robes and slinging it right at me.
It's a scallop shell. A golden jelly shell with colorful pearls in it. Is this what was on the plates?
[Golden Jelly (Low)]
[Qi +10]
[Karma +10]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,841,678/23,883,579]
[Current Qi: 333,057/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,534,318/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
I reflexively snap it out of the air even as I try to process what the fuck it is. Ooh! It's pretty refreshing. Tastes familiar. Luxurious~. ... Wait.
-Is this jellied Messenger Qi?-
Did these bishes manage to harvest the "purification" Qi saturating the area, mold it, decorate it, frickin' put stuff in it, then serve a whole feast made of jellied Qi? Frickin' how?