I make a point to bank the wagons, the coal bags, the buildings the bags of coal are in --.

I raise my head when something strikes my wing. A quick check and there’s a rapidly healing hole, the air is filling with colors, people are screaming, and I move my wing to see that the blast has gone through it, and the wound is healing in my side. I turn to look where the blast appears to have come from and freeze as I notice I’m surrounded by a small army.

“Eclipsed Rainbow.”

Sounds like someone was crying. I take a deep breath, panning my vision around myself to see The Naturalists, minus Hatchet, standing before me. I think I have shiver thorn… Oh, the coal.

-*While I was asleep someone convinced the four to take advantage of my void to produce coal. The quantities they requested in their ignorance may or may not have caused the disturbances in Eager Heart. They could have triggered the absorption of the void in a recovery attempt. I want to know how I was being compensated.*- I settle down again. -*They attacked me. The void is hungry. What have they fed it or did they let others pay the cost? That is all I wish to know.

-*You might want to check on Eager Heart. Healing has a cost as well.*-

-*Wake up, pest!*-

I wake up, curled up on my side, wondering what the fuck Bubbles is doing and where Freckles is.

-*Did they really not get that, if I’m injured, I eat. Even after explaining that hurting me triggers the whole “hungry void” thing?*- I ask, settling in to my nap. I get no response, so I snort. -*Did you injure me after I gave a warning that the void would have to be fed?*- More silence. -*Did you injure me after knowing I gave a warning that Eager Heart is in the void?*- I snort and roll further onto my back. -*I will not be blamed for your destructive actions.*-

-*Wake up and let them out!*- Bubbles shouts before flying at me.

She pulls up quickly before impact. I start nodding off and she screams in annoyance. Then I process part of what she said.

-*Let who out of where?*- I ask, raising my head.

Through the rage induced screaming I learn that Eager Heart is off the grid. No one can get in or out. ♪ Oh, no ~! How did this happen? ♪ I don’t even have to go to my Logs. Bubbles tells me everything. Or stays silent in denial or embarrassment. “Yeah, you said, but I didn’t think it would actually happen,” levels of fuckery.

I fell asleep to preserve energy to heal after being attacked? The army sees it as a sign of weakness. I wake up, give them a heads up, and fall asleep after my warning? Surely I must be bluffing! “We’ve got ‘em on the ropes, boys!” And~ they attempt to kill me. The Rising Sun thinks this is a Cataclysm?! Pshaw! The loot will drop, right?

Don’t know why The Naturalist, -- my team, the people benefiting from my existence, and getting paid so much, and getting so much face every time they step outside, -- allow this, but okay. Pretty sure I saw them, and I don’t think I do the whole dreaming thing anymore… Ooh, the bodies of the people who died from my natural defenses triggering disappear? ♪ That’s crazy… ♪ The essence in the area starts disappearing? ♪ Waow~… ♪

Eager Heart starts shrinking? Someone makes it out before it seals? They race all the way over here to tell my team, my business partners, my allies? Amazing! Surely they will know what to do! Eureka! I’m a cataclysm, and I’ve obviously been weakened, -- I can’t fight for shit and it’s so easy to harm me, innit? --, so let us handle it! Come again? “For the Empire!”, question mark? Things might return to normal if I’m dead? Think of all that treasure! The tributes from the last year alone! Me absorbing Eager Heart was all an elaborate trick? Surely I am a demon and things are going according to plan? I can’t even figure out where I am half the time, but okay.

Gasp! Injuring me makes bad things happen, so the only answer is to injure me more?! I --. Yeah, no, these people are idiots. Is it me? Do I emit such high levels of fucktard that I’m subsuming the minds of those around me? I get hurt, things nearby start disappearing. Am healing? What~? I get hurt more, things in my void start disappearing. What does it all mean?! How the fuck do they figure killing me will restore everything to normal?

-*Where did everyone go?*- I’m assuming I killed and absorbed the army, but where’d The Naturalists go?

Silence. But this feels… Gross? Off? Dangerous? Is she really threatening me right now?

I crack an eye open and she’s not even facing me. What the fuck? I go to my logs to see what she’s thinking, and read that I opened my “mouths”. I can generate doors into my void, and people can just walk on in. No need for me to guide them. And they walked in? Oh, my Gods! These people deserve to die. Is this a defense mechanism?

Wait. I sit up to check my permissions. I didn’t set new ones. I revoked a ton of them from the four. Is this how people were communicating with the four? Is this how Eager Heart got attached? Does opening a door between spatial structures or from inside one create some fucked up feedback loop? No, ‘cause I still had my void and I could go out into Eager Heart or back inside my own personal space. And there were spaces in the spaces of Eager Heart. Did it break? Did I put a hole in a hole with holes? Is Eager Heart not supposed to exist?

I turn to my logs with the intention of asking Bubbles how she got out, but my Logs say I opened another mouth, and she went in.

-*So that’s food taken care of,*- I say as I sit up. -*I said “don’t”. I swear to all that I said “don’t”. Did they do this just to mock me? Why? It’s not worth it.

-*This isn’t funny. There’s so much cleanup with big deaths!*-

Is there? I know my bank has to be sorted, and sometimes I accidentally eat good stuff, and I end up learning while I convalesce, but these things change me. New items, new thoughts, new clothes, new bish. New problems! And then there’s more sleeping to absorb all of that.

And these motherfuckers walked in on their own!

“So you say, but we’ll leave that up to the magistrate to decide!”

I turn to see a group of dark clothed, long shirted people with tall hats. Who are these assholes, and what’d I say?

So… I’m under arrest? Cool… Cool cool cool… Tch. Come again?

So I get “bound” into a box. There’s a black metal box with chains and there’s symbols that glow randomly, on the material and in the air around it. Inside? It’s just another spatial area. There’s a command, there’s a storing, and then there’s just an empty space. Am I getting pocket balled? The man in front, -- the one who spoke up is standing off to the side to give him room to work, -- forces his Will and some Qi into the scripted box, it reaches out to me and tries to bind me with a Command to get in the box.

This fucker is trying to kennel me. I don’t know him, I’m not in a good mood, and I don’t know who the fuck he is. But... They’re offering me a safe place to rest and recover while someone does all the leg work to figure out how this clusterfuck happened.

Okay.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

I climb into the box, -- it really is just a dark room with high windows where I can see them as giants peeking into slits I hadn’t noticed, -- and then it goes dark. Oh! There’s one of those little panel doors, and it’s barred. How’d I get in through the bars? Oh! It’s hinged? With rails? Lift up to open, slide to view. Got it.

I settle in to digest.

“Wake up, beast!”

-*I’m up, asshole,*- I retort reflexively, wondering when that became a reflex. -*What’s going on?*-

I feel hands grabbing my arms before I’m dragged out of the dark and flung onto the floor in a little courtyard. In my hunan form.

When and why? I’m naked on the ground in the middle of a square where there are people in long tunics and tall hats sit in rows on opposite sides. There’s a standing guard-lined corridor leading to the area while the area opposite the entrance is a stage with people with more elaborate tunics and robes, and even bigger hats.

Am I in a church or…?

“How dare you appear with such indecency in front of the magistrate!” Someone yells, moving to the front of the stage and pointing a Black Iron fan at me.

“I didn’t make myself hunan!” I snap.

Technically I did, just, I mean I didn’t shift.

The fuck is Black Iron and how do I know that’s what the fan is?

Didn’t I have some good robes just for special occasions?

Wonder what’s for lunch…?

I’m hungry and that’s not a good. Being distracted and hungry is worse.

I stand up, tying my robe belt, -- don’t remember getting dressed, but okay, --. No, when did I start manually tying a belt? I don’t even know how. Oh.

Logs, foods… Nope, yes? No. How many food filters do I have? Fuck! There’s eaten, absorbed, -- there’s a difference? Yeah, no fair. -- Soul Sucked --. Ooh! Definitely going through --. Why is this so long already… Wait.

I go back to my Absorbed Logs while I’m being knocked to my knees and forced to headbutt the ground. There’s names here… People, and some occupational skills… I’m absorbing skills from people. What’s the difference between Absorbing and Soul Sucking? Oh… How long have I been Absorbing and gaining knowledge like this? Wait, what’s the difference between eating, absorbing, and sucking --. Mm. No. Phrasing.

“The Spirit Beast has many facets.”

I look up, my chin bumping into someone’s fingers. Someone’s got their hand on my shoulder. I recoil, -- personal space! -- and look up to see a priest with a ring staff and a very serene glowing aura. My Logs… are being read. Oh! He’s--! I did not give him permission. So many mixed feelings.

I’m on trial? I’ve totally been ignoring the interrogation part, I didn’t show proper respect, and they think I’m not sentient. Well, fuck. They think I’m some random roving tool.

I pause as I think about it from the perspective of the people who have to deal with me. I already have a reputation for wandering around and leaving destruction and chaos in my wake. Wandering Tool is accurate. I am the asshole!

I flash back to robbing the shit out of the Red Silk Spider Clan. I fully intend to go back. Yeah… Roving tool is accurate. But I’m alive, dammit!

“Hmm?” I look around and everyone’s shouting and arguing, the dude seated on stage reddish-purple faced and staring forward. And he’s shaking.

I go to climb to my feet, -- this looks like “run away” time! -- but the priest pats my shoulder, managing to keep me in place. I glare at him out of the corner of my eye. He’s not triggering my defenses, and I think that’s why he’s here. What happened?

“Stay here and I will tell you,” the priest says, eyes twinkling with mirth.

I want to believe him but he’s just laughing internally and I could just go to my Logs. I nod at him while opening my Logs, and he laughs. Can he see when I open my Logs? Does he know when I’m reading them? Can he see see that or do I just look distracted?

They all know about my Logs… And…? Yeah, I have a lot of filters. And they stopped an assassination attempt on the magistrate because of --. Oh. That’s mind reading. I have a truth seeing thing. I can see the truth, I can read their lies. I can see when they know they’re going to do something. I can see when they want to do something that they decide against. If I find the right filter. And that’s not normal.

-*I’m in trouble, aren’t I?*- I ask, the priest mentally losing his shit and laughing his ass off internally.

I’m in trouble. I’m going to be dragged to the Imperial City. Not for the lives loss through my mishandling. Not for Eager Heart. Not for the guards. I’m in trouble because they want to hide me and keep me at the same time. ‘Cause I’m a tool. And a tool to be used.

I’m sitting, imagining that I’m having cold sweats, -- ‘cause I’m not, but totally should be, -- and my man Spring Cow, -- when’d we become friends? He’s got a Nate ability, doesn’t he? -- makes the brave and noble sacrifice to dig through my Logs to find the true fate of Eager Heart and the Black Rock Company.

This did start by my trying to do an audit on some fucking coal. Gods…

The magistrate acknowledges Spring Cow, thanking him and praising his master and sect for their good deeds. He demands a report in a month’s time, -- will I be here that long if I’m awake? Doubtful, but I’m in a down cycle --. No, I’ve got all the people nuggets in the oven. -- and there’s a subtle threat for Spring Cow not to note anything other than the crimes I’m being accused of. Like the magistrate’s infidelity and many mistresses. And bastards. And crimes.

Spring Cow squeezes my shoulder as I read through the magistrate’s fears on what he thinks might be discovered. I don’t know if that stuff was in my Logs before, but it sure is now. Fuck, there’s so much. This is why I didn’t want to do this shit. The triplets were taking turns reading this crap, they could have just told me, but no they wanted me to--.

Why did they want me to read the Logs? Was this them trying to get me to notice Silent Howl? Were they leaving me secret messages? Was I supposed to be gaining insights?

Or would it help me read faster, ‘cause now I’m in a one-horse cart being driven by the priest, and I know that this happened ‘cause I was in my Logs under other filters. How’s this useful? If it takes me so long to read even a part of the most recent information that I can’t react to changes happening now, then what good is reading the Logs constantly? Well, other than finding out what happened. And gaining new insights I guess…

“You really do read very slowly,” Chuckles says, eyes shining.

He bursts into laughter, bald head thrown back as I just turn to glare at him. I turn away from him when I realize he’s laughing harder at how annoyed I am.

Where the fuck am I? I look around, and that’s not a horse. It’s a mule. I don’t care.

We’re going down a wide dirt path or a crude road through some sparse woods. It’s not rutted to hell and back, but it’s not paved. It probably sees more foot traffic than cart, unless it just doesn’t rain much here. It doesn’t feel dry...

“Eager Heart is just a building now,” the priest says in a casual aside to me. And he’s telling me this why...? “There’s no furniture. Just empty rooms.”

I know he’s a monk, but he doesn’t feel super martial arts-y to me. He’s got some special ability, so I guess he’s maybe a sorceror…? But what now? Eager Heart is in my void, isn’t it?

“The building that was the anchor to access Eager Heart,” he clarifies patiently.

I’m so confused. I thought I absorbed Eager Heart so it’s anchor was wherever I put it? Wait! He means the inn is still standing, it’s an actual building, but going into it just leads to the building not Eager Heart. So I didn’t get to take the physical structure? Aw… Was kinda wondering what would happen if I set it somewhere.

“I wonder what your Karma is,” he says almost to himself. Or he’s trying to prompt a response from me, but I’ve got so much work to do.

Pass. If he wants to tell me something he can be more straight-forward.

The cart rattles before I can move from annoyance to focus, disrupting my thoughts. I look around in confusion, checking for ruts and obstacles, but I don’t see anything. I switch over to my Logs while looking at the priest, the cart rattling again, and it’s this asshole using his Qi. He’s temporarily imbuing the cart, giving it a quick shake, then pulling it back. I can’t see it, but I can read it.

He laughs, proud of his prank and impressed that I can focus through the disruption, but it’s not focus. It’s shitty reflexes. If left on my abilities my reflexes and reaction times are shit, but my instincts are top tier when I let them run. I am me, and I am bug me, and I have some of the memories and muscle memory of people I’ve absorbed and Devoured, and I’m a boss bitch as a bank bug. But now, with actual cultivators I can watch and the memories of more, I can admit that I am shit at combat.

My silk is great for low tier. Top tier in a low tier setting. My ability to produce silk is unmatched by hunan cultivators, if only because they can’t produce silk, -- some attacks can be woven to resemble silk, but they don’t last, -- and there are top tier enchanters that can imbue shit, but I can produce imbued silk as a matter of course. I can make good quality shit from almost anything, and produce imbued silk. I’m a good producer.

So… I should work on crafting, right?