I want to eat but I don't want a repeat of Little Red, so I join the brats in sipping bubble gum scented bubbling water. At least it's not fizzy and it doesn't taste like soap. I keep barreling and think about things I can eat. There's fish, but I don't want the kids to encounter the tiny, sharp bones. I could start butchering the guards maybe? No, because they might want them for the investigation. Maybe I should check the woods for some deer. I hard stop as I remember that I never even touched the shit I grabbed from the hunt.

-Fucking idiot,- I curse myself, flopping onto my back with my forelimbs crossed over my face, eyes closed and simmering in my dumbassery. -Ugh~!-

I transmute to hunan, grabbing up the food basin, dumping the pups in it, and they stay, for the most part, except for Screaming Red. The bold little shit is the only one who hasn't had horrible things happening to it when it just gives it a try, so it's more than willing to just flop out, head first, -- the little shit gave me a heart attack. I swear I heard it breaks its neck or back but it was just one of the little shits in the basin chewing on the boards -- then stumble drunkenly towards the pond. I scruff Red -- this is a proper reason to scruff someone! -- and move back to the house, grateful that I've advanced my bank enough to qualify for free movement, and drop all of them off in front of the house. Screaming Red immediately starts shrieking at me.

"How dare I move you out of the way so I can work?" I ask, pulling out 1 of, quick check, 6 not guard bodies, then bank it and pull out the bin of milled Crimson. "I really need to just get a good night's sleep..."

I scoop more crimson into the food bowl, swap out the blood orb, head to the back of the house to wash up in the bathing basin before realizing having a massive tub of water around babies is a bad idea, dump the water near the farm, head back to the back of the house to flip the tub upside down, then leave a piece of fruit on top as a reminder to check to make sure none of the kids got trapped under the basin after being butts. Which prompts me to put away the mill clouds and the catch basin, then go inside, take all the foods off and turn off the essence output to all of the heating units in case the kids get inside the house. Away go glassware, away with pots, I tie the chains up higher, and all around try to baby proof my fookin' house even though I'm sterile, so I can go bank a pond of liquid Qi so the kids don't --.

Didn't I have tanks to store essence and liquids? Why am I storing stuff as geological features? I'm standing around, hands hanging loosely, shoulders slumped, just looking around in confusion of why I'm getting dumber again. Did I finish digesting? Do I need to soul suck more? Why am I making thing less efficient and more complicated? I went out of my way to prep Crimson Star so that his meat lasted longer, but I could have used deer or something else. Why hunan meat? And I distinctly remember making a container to store Broadband Chicken so he couldn't go wandering off, and creating a section of void he couldn't leave, and that never occurred to me. I revert back to my buggy self then remember that most of the things I have in my void are intentionally toxic because bug brain fucking loves that shit. Not just taste, smell, texture and more. Big happy. Most joy.

Fuck. I'm gonna have to soul suck Little Red into oblivion. Phrasing! There's stuff that would help with her cultivation that the little one's need to know about, but she's not here to teach them. Fack. I groan, flop over and then start rolling around while groaning loudly. When one of the pups comes over to investigate I snag them and start grooming them, the others coming over as well, pushing in for their groom time. I'm hungry, it was offset by the lake, but I need standard food, something they can eat without dying if they happen to come across it. I remember the deer I put away, pulling it out, slicing off a haunch, then banking the rest. When the babies start tearing into it I cut off small slivers for them to chew on then race off, intending to mill it, then see the baby proofed area, remember that I put the mills away, and sigh.

-Nevermind,- I tell them as I go back to dem babies to eat.

I'm glad I can't cry as a bug, because it feels so nice to share a meal, actually eating the same thing at the same time, willingly. Yeah, they helped themselves to it like Woodcock, but it feels so different. I was eating with Trinity, but we were eating different things. I groan again as I realize I'm never gonna be able to plant the mushrooms and the other poisonous greens I gathered. Fack. Shiver Thorn. I'm gonna have to move it. No. Not just it. I sigh, banking everything not a common non poisonous tree. The bushes are toxic, the flowers are toxic, the things I put in the farm are toxic. Everything's toxic. The house is probably made of death wood. How many people have I accidentally poisoned with my casual bullshit. Does that contribute to my combat stuff? Or does that go in something else?

-Okay, kids, time to visit your cousin.- I sit up and look at my nearly blank slate of a void. I worked so hard to dress it up too. -Don't be insane while I'm gone.-

When I see the mess the kids have made of themselves I put the food away, again, groom them, again, then realize they're going to get dirty again drinking blood and Crimson mill. But I ike grooming, and they seem to like being groomed. Hopefully they learn how to do it soon. When I stand up the pups stand up with me. They'd gone from small enough to fit in my palm to bigger than my thorax, but to be fair I'm mostly fluff, abdomen, wings and legs. My thorax is actually quite small, and I don't know if that's good or bad, but I need to focus on popping out, getting safe plant stuff and convincing Trinity to help me raise the pups.

"He's back!"

I rear back, flaring my wings at Freckles before I register it's Freckles, wondering if opening my wings all the way still does the mind fuck thing or not. Or maybe it upgraded. Nate taps me on the head and I back up, wings flaring again, flailing at the air. Did I not lower my arms before I tuned out? I lowered my wings but I didn't lower my arms. I tune in as he's reaching forward to tap me again and I slap his hand away.

-*Stop! I'm not awake yet!*- I grumble. -*Trinity. Need to find. I'm out.*-

I shift back into my void, double check on the babies to see they're trying to groom each other. Unless they're play fighting. Dunno. I need more shiver thorn but I can't eat it around them or they'll think it's okay to eat. That'd be fine if they could learn to process it, develop a resistance, but the ones that were eating me and possibly trying the plants I had out look... They're not okay. I know what they were maybe supposed to look like, and these babies are not okay. Some limbs are thicker or larger than others, there's a sideways curvature to one's spine, one has a jaw that looks like it snaps more sideways than vertically, their face is so warped, and then there's the coloring and leathery bald patches.

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I bank the shiver thorn around the house, stealing a couple of bites while I'm away from the kids. They'll smell it on me, I'm sure, but maybe it'll smell different. I'm poisonous as hell and all they smell is fat grub, right? No. Back up. They don't know what it smells like or what it is in order to avoid it. I need Trinity to show them how to live when they can't just eat anything everything. I need to learn, too. I check the feeding basin, the babies doing a rallying cry, just a simple sound that takes me back to when the triplets were toothy tubes. I remember teaching them. I remember...

I wake up buried in damp wood chips. The fuck did I do? I check to make sure that I put the shiver thorn away, it's gone, and the wood chips aren't shiver thorn, so what was I trying to do? I feel a mental tug, a request, and I bristle and drool. I'm so focused on how good it's going to feel to murder that I'm drooling with need? Really? They earned it.

-Not this time,- I growl, chasing down the feeling to a nightmare bear cub.

One powerful arm, exposed muscle, spine ridged, bony, and curved in a horizontal S, the poor thing having to walk sideways, hindlegs strafing left, front limbs strafing slightly right, and that's how it moves forward.

-You're awake!- it screams in greeting.

I freeze as I try to process that they're talking. They can talk. I know this is one of the cubs, but it's big. And it can talk. And it made a request? My confusion and disbelief, my utter inability to process and understand the random series of events that is me trying to do good, gets kicked to the back of my mind, tempered by my suspicion and distrust that someone can make requests at all.

-Are you scared? We need food! We will protect,- it says matter of factly, galloping off to join the others.

I think I accidentally triplet-raised the pups. I vaguely remember being curious about if I could teach them stuff... Fack. I guess I Willed that into being while I was out. But they can make requests? Did I just full on open up to them? They seem to have learned a lot. They're alive and hungry--. I sigh, resist the urge to face palm, and try to pull out the partially butchered Silver Hart, just meat that we're eating, and get Mist Dragon instead. The cubs cheer, moving over in different manners according to their physiology, then start working on cutting the tail loose. They literally have their own roles, and by listening to them talk things out as they go I learn that they've been doing this for a while, and they alternate who holds, who cuts, and more.

I know I know there's a difference between a deer and a lizard. I know I know there's a difference between a deer and a gorilla. Even the colors of the creatures were different, so how did I fuck this up this badly? I wanted whatever we were eating, which I thought was the deer, and got the dragon. So... How does my bank work? The kids drag the tail closer to me and the body further away, fighting to get the scaled hide out of the way so they can eat the meat. I bank the body, then bank the hide off of the tail, leaving behind exposed flesh and earning cheers. The kids celebrate while eating, tearing off chunks of food and nudging it into my hands, making sure to keep theirs out of the way. And some of them are missing chunks of their hands.

-Oh, come on!- I admonish myself, scarfing down the offerings before putting in a request.

If I can, with what I have, heal them. I know I just woke up, and I have a feeling this is gonna put me down for a while.

-You are hurt. It is due to my ignorance. I'm sorry,- I say as clearly as I can, sending everything I've felt during their rescue and development, the ups and downs, as best I can. Then I go back to sleep.

I don't know how bad they've been using the request system, probably should have checked, but they look healthy and happy. And I wasn't falling apart! Already an improvement over the triplets. This time the first thing I do is look around, panicking as I splash and slosh in something. I roll over, the wrong way considering I'm not in deeper whatever, then go in for a taste test. It's not blood. Kinda tastes like herbal tea.

"Ah! You're awake!"

Who the fuck has that much bass in their voice? My head slowly rolls as I try to pinpoint who the fuck to see some hooded-robed figure jogging over crude wooden planks to get to me. I try to roll back over, to move away from them and deeper into whatever I'm swimming through when they scoop me up, carefully picking me up, keeping their claws from sinking into my flesh. They tuck my wings against my back, bracing their arm over my wings before cradling me to their chest.

"Let's get you cleaned up. Our understanding is that you don't remember much when you're sleeping," they say amicably, lightly bouncing me as they not quite skip towards some woods.

They explain that they've been planting standard trees for lumber, that I made them my proxy while I slept, and that they've learned so much from me. They've been careful on the requests, checking the clarity of my wings and the lustre of my silk to make sure they're not being too demanding. I buck and they shush me, petting my soft underside and I feel so threatened.

"We learned of our mother's death, how you tried to protect us, but you are different from us and we suffered," they murmur, claws pressing against me but not actually piercing my body. They pause, taking a deep breath and relaxing, but I don't, because this isn't a small dog sized "rat", this is a full grown ass hunan. "We understand that you meant well, and there were going to be fatalities along the way, you even fed us impossibly delicious foods."

-If you're leading up to an explanation for why you're going to kill me or who you are, kindly speed it up before I go back to sleep again,- I thrash. What is with this friendly horrible chat?

"Your grasp of the Light Bearer's language is atrocious," my bearer admonishes me.

-I'm getting grammar nazi-ed by someone who won't show me their face, everything you do is threatening, and you still haven't gotten to the point!- I shout before screaming just to make a ton of irritating noise.

"You call me Screaming Red and still don't know where I learned it from?" the figure chuckles, pulling back their hood, revealing large blood rat features. "We learned that the requests are less resource intensive when you're by the Bad Lake." They keep walking but turn to look at what I'm slowly realizing is what's left of the Qi I didn't manage to store.

"It's liquid Qi? We... You have reading materials in the Sacred Phoenix Emperor's Empires language, and Light Bearer language, and more, but getting that information from you is... difficult," they say tactfully, ignoring my narrow eyed glare. "You've told us numerous times that you need to take us out to meet the Trinity so that we learn how to forage and fend for ourselves. For when you're not around, and even more for when you are."

-How self-aware of me,- I snap and receive a tired smile.

"Stop being grumpy. I'm taking you to see the others before you leave and sleep again," they admonish me, giving me a gentle but firm pat. Did they just spank me? "We have names for ourselves and have been in contact with the world outside of your bank, although, haphazardly --."

-You what?- They can talk with people not in my void or are there more people in here?

"I'm trying to show you," they pat me on the back again, continuing their slow march. "You leak from your void, but you also accept things from the outside." Well, shit. "Communication began with the one called Snow Jelly. She was amused by the fact that you refer to her as Bubbles."

I've been down for who knows how long, and the babies I accidentally tortured were telling on me. This is gonna end well...