I don't know what he thinks I was trying to do, but he sweeps his arm between us then gets plastered to the roof, one clear eye dancing around. ... Did he think it was another spitball? I shake myself and try to figure out where to go. Focus, me! Food! And then I get slammed and dragged.
Apparently there aren't many people flying because of the Qi paths I remember hearing about. What is my luck that I manage to drift into one just as this poor woman is flying through? Pretty sure I'm living someone's dream, seeing how I'm being cradled in the bend of one leg, my head resting against her hip as she curses and spits but doesn't move. Guess she's either stuck on the path or trying to maintain her focus. Wait. She kinda looks familiar.
No way! I laugh as I realize that I think this is the same lady who was on the path the first time I saw someone being dragged behind a sword. There's what looks like a red ribbon wrapped around her sword wrist, and I feel a steady pulse cycling from somewhere above me, down her side and legs before it weakly runs back up again. Is she cycling?
We curve down to a platform near an open wall, people within the top of whatever this building is sitting at tables and either enjoying drinks and snacks or very light meals. The woman touches down, not stumbling, whipping the sword to rest on the back of her arm, breathing deeply and evenly, and seeming very calm despite her earlier panic. And I'm on my back on the ground after I slid down her leg, just waiting to be squished. Get up, me!
I roll over, sluggishly climbing to my feet. A groan, a quick face cleanse and wing ruffle, and I'm scooped up before I can take a step. I blank, trying to figure out Whiskey Tango Foxtrot as she picks me up, -- sword sheathed when? -- and grabs at my wings while mumbling to herself. She fumbles around as I'm still trying to process that she picked me up before she manages to actually open one of my wings. Barely. We're almost the same size.
"Well, whatever family lost this Greater Wimble did an excellent job of raising it and decorating its wings," she mutters, turning me to face her and bracing me against her hip. "Until your owners shows up you can stay with me."
-*Or you can let me go.*- What the hell lady? From "it's in my hair" to "I'm gonna keep it" with one wing flutter?
Bad idea. Her eyes bug out but she doesn't lose her thoughtful lip purse or move to release me. Fack! Did shattered rainbow's parakeet talk out loud or through sendings? Am I not supposed to talk at all?
The woman relaxes and alarm bells go off in my head. I try to scrabble away but she tucks me under her arm, casually ignoring my efforts even though she's fighting back, and just walks to the stairs. I'm literally pushing her arms away and she just smoothly windmills like she's winding up a large sheet, catching me over and over and over while nonchalantly making her way downstairs and outside. The fack is she taking me?
-*Oy! Let me go!*-
I don't catch a whiff of garbage, but I do catch a glimpse of a person in stained white clothing carrying a shallow pan of bruised veggies and cuttings down a set of steps set into the ground. Food? I huff, writhing in an effort to be as mentally abhorrent as possible in the hopes that she'll be grossed out and toss my giant, squirming bug-self away. She shudders, gags, possibly pukes into her mouth, keeps her teeth clamped down on that grossness, and keeps power marching until we're in a building not far from where we landed.
The door needed a large blocky wooden key, the room beyond bright and airy with a set of steps that go up into another area, this one enclosed by walls instead of crosshatch looking fence posts, then shuts the door to this dimmer upper room. She locks the door, -- same key or new key? -- which was open when we got up here, and then storms across the room before flinging me onto a bed. A quick look around and everything seems fluffy, clean, and colorless, and I can see that I shed by the fact my scales are leaving a nice light dusting of rainbow glitter on the thick comforter. And she wants to keep a pet in her world of white fluff?
-*What did you kidnap me for? You're not the first, and I will get free.*- Shut up, me! Fack I'm cranky when I don't eat!
She doesn't say a word, just pulls out a drawer from a white-washed and gold painted dresser that's all curves and clawed feet, marches over to me, and sets the drawer beside me on the bed. She hooks a stool that I couldn't see because it blended in so well, and sits down facing me before pulling items out of the drawer. Old clothes from the looks of it. She scrutinizes them, noting holes, tears, rips, stains, and discolorations in what looks like white silk or satin, piling the clothes on the bed.
-*Are you listening to me?*- I trill while mentally prodding her. And she glares at me, lips pursed before patting the pile of clothes she's set next to me.
Was that a shut up and eat? Are these clothes even hers? Or is she expecting me to mend them? I sputter, bracing myself for a snack and tirade as I pick up something and start munching. Pffft, if she thought I was a trained seamstress, think again! I cackle and she nods and takes the drawer before walking away. Wait, what?
"You're clearly not fed on table scraps, but cloud grass silk is the best I can offer, so enjoy," she mumbles as I nibble. She pulls open another drawer, leaving it in the dresser and going through more clothes. "I expect your family will compensate me for twice the value of lesser true silk clothing, so I'll consider this an investment and good housekeeping." She huffs, walking over and adding more clothes to the pile. "Hopefully they find you before we get into my good stuff, hmm?"
I want to feel bad but she's making all these assumptions on her own. Not fed on table scraps? True, but only because my "owners" thought table scraps were too good for me. Once I got good enough to produce quality silk regardless of diet the good stuff got tucked away for the next abomination. Peh!
"Don't expect flowers, but I will head to the market to get you some greens later, okay?" she says, rearranging the clothing in the dresser.
-*I can wait,*- I mumble, still eating.
Why is it taking so long to eat one piece of clothing? I'm not hungry, it tastes like salted fried zuchinni, and I'm not going over my shit because I don't know if it's filling or not. Because I'm still eating it. Pretty sure I've gone through whole bodies faster than this, what's going on?
-*You said this was cloud grass silk?*-
It's not hard to eat, the mouth feel similar to meringue layered over summer sausage, but I'm making no headway. The pile is going down but I swear I've been chewing on the same piece of clothing for over a minute. Or is it every piece has the same flavor and mouth feel? How the hell do you make so many things this consistent? It's like every piece was made from the same batch of silk. But she said it was cloud grass? What's cloud grass?
-*Finished. What are you teaching me today?*- Fingers crossed this works?
I start grooming, finding random things attached to my back legs. Crap, there's one of Woodcock's kinship bands. I eat it as, name badge says White Silk Camellia, wanders over and starts scritching the silk around my neck, back, and chest. I has mane? She finds a spot between my wings and my body locks up, legs straight, wings spread and I don't know if I need to poop or not.
Laughing, she walks off while my brain resets, then comes back with a strip of red fabric. A wristband? Like the flying path hauled her around by her sword arm wristband and she wants to try to put this thing around my neck?
-*Don't drag me around by the neck!*- I curl up, forelegs in the way as I kick with the other four.
"Silly! You can fly! At most it'll be like having a leash!" She smirks like she's humoring then tries again.
-*Body harness, not noose!*- I flex my wings fully, just a quick flash, then scrabble away when she drops, looking brain dead then tased.
[Mesmerize Successful]
[Successful Use: 1/100]
[Qi -10]
[Karma 100]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,797,434/23,842,583]
[Current Qi: 596,680/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,370,333/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St]
"Ugh!" She pulls herself up the bed, nearly pulling me off as she attempts to regain her feet. "Beast harnesses cost 5 Spirit Stones! Will you compensate me?"
I cough up five of the crystalline blue LED cubes and groom when she stares at them wide-eyed.
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,531St - 5St]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,798,934/23,842,583]
[Current Qi: 583,180/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,370,333/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,526St]
-*For the purchase of my harness. Do not cheat me.*-
She looks at the blocks, then me, slowly reaching out while doing her Red Sage impression. Stunned awe! I earned it? Fack! She doesn't know I'm a void bug. Does she think I'm a wallet now? Crap! Did not think this through... Just really, really, really didn't want her to put a noose around my neck and hang me from a flight path. She stands, bounces the stones in her palm, nods, then casually scoops me up, holding me against her hip, interrupting my groom and we're tracing our steps back out.
"We have to move to a Flight Path point to purchase and register a harness. We'll need to find out what your Qi conductivity is in order to find what paths you can run, then we can do a tour of the city," she grins down at me, tap hopping her way down a wide path.
Her movement ability involves her skipping. In slow motion. But covering descent distances. Tap with the balls of one foot, uppies arc, tap off with the other foot when you're close enough to the ground to reinitiate uppies arc. We're moving, but not as fast as a runaway horse. Which isn't that fast by cultivator standards. To be fair the ride is smooth enough that I could take a nap, but I don't want her to stealth piñata me for the coins she thinks I ate.
"Your family must be missing their purse," she murmurs, setting me on a table near a group of people wearing yellow and orange clothing made of broad strips of cloth, with red bands held in hand and tied at various points along their bodies. "We're looking for a beast harness for this little one," she says, patting my back end as she fluffs and readjusts my wings, 'cause touchy?
The men in the group shuffle, looking up and away before one of the women walks over, blank-faced and doing customer service. She sighs and begins palpitating my wings and body, flexing my legs and combing through my antenna.
"A small beast harness. Can it fly on its own?" Name Badge, yellow clouds, reads Babbling Flowing River. She pauses and stares blankly ahead, hands limp on the table.
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Why wouldn't I be able to fly? I have wings. She checked them, are they not healthy? White Silk taps me on my silk end and I curl in defensively, wings out as I lift off.
[Launch Successful]
[Successful Use: 2/100]
[Con. Qi -2]
[Qi -2]
[Karma -5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,797,432/23,842,582]
[Current Qi: 596,678/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,370,328/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,526St]
They're getting awfully personal with these checks. Pretty sure I don't have a prostate in any form, but I don't want them checking it. I don't get far before she hops up, grabbing onto my legs, -- bish! -- and we drift down as I focus on not letting her tear my limbs off. I don't know if she could but I like being in one piece. She gives me a pet, and I'm tempted to wing blast her, but I'm not sure how not to take out anyone looking in my general direction.
While I'm trying to figure out if I should care about collateral damage, Babble creatively knots a long thin strip of fabric around my neck, under my wings, down my back, and across my back behind my wings. Just three quick movements and I'm all dressed. How the fack? I thought she was measuring me! What the fack?
"For a small spirit beast harness on a flier, that'll be 3 spirit stones," Babble drones, palms flat on the table, leaning forward as the other workers not at other tables -- where'd those come from? -- slowly shuffle a teeny bit closer.
-*Use the other stones to buy more food,*- suggestion turned order to White Silk who nearly hands over all five stones.
She freezes, eyes bugging out before she stiffly, super awkwardly, does a quick hop backwards before turning her back to everyone and pulling something out of her robe or sleeve, quickly shuffling things around. Babble rolls her eyes, a few people, workers, customers, and passersby smirk and make snide comments as she tries to get the correct amount. How hard would they be snickering if they knew she was trying not to overpay? She spins around with a bright smile before offering the correct payment, head back and proud as she scoops me up and swaggers away.
-*What is the most common currency, and how much did your band cost?*- Go me! Didn't even ask if spirit stones were that rare.
"A cultivator band costs 3 Dalin and most things cost a few Denii," she says quietly, speaking through her teeth while maintaining her grin.
Wait, what? Most things cost copper, her artifact cost silver, and I had to pay several gold? What is this dogshit?!
"Beast harnesses take more seals and material to craft. If anything happens to your harness they have to make another. If anything happens to my Sky Road key I just have to buy another one."
Oh~. That's actually pretty nice. But what seals? These look like regular red fabric strips to me. Or do I have to focus and identify them? I'm tired and we haven't even done anything.
-*I have to take a nap,*- I mumble, powering down annoyingly fast. I don't even know if I got the words out properly.
I'm drowsy with a headache, and I don't know what I did... What happened? I'm too tired to read and I still don't know if I have calendar access. Where am I and how long have I been down?
-Blargh!- I wake up trying to pull my wings out of the way. Did I swaddle me or did she?
When my senses actually come up I find myself swaddled in white silk -- surprise! -- on what looks like a giant round pillow, Persephone bed style. Did Seph make herself a little pet bed? Kinda feel like a dick. To be fair I still never figured out a bed for myself. I just flopped in the dirt. I need to build me a house...
I wiggle, squiggle worm my way out of the bug burrito instead of shifting, because tired, then look around and realize I'm by myself. With a wide shallow bowl of washed greens on the floor. There's barely any moisture at the bottom of the bowl, but I'm pretty sure that just means I've been out long enough for the rest of the water to dry. But how long was I out? I shovel greens and small chunks of vegetables with weak medicine pills into my mouth, feeling refreshed and revitalized, and still with no clue as to how long I've been down or where White Silk has gotten off to.
-Fuck it, I want a house.-
[Greater Personal Transport]
[Successful Use: 1/100]
[Con. Qi -500]
[Qi -500]
[Karma 1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,796,932/23,842,832]
[Current Qi: 596,178/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,371,328/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,526St]
Instead of standing in a pile of garbage on a hill looking down on a lake in the distance, I'm under a super teeny, but still towering, goblin home-style tree. The overhead branches are spread out in a dense tangle that looks like a leafy cloud got impaled on a woven vine tower.
-Where'd the mountains go?-
[Imperial Infusion]
[Count 1/100]
[Qi +100,000]
[Karma 50,000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,796,932/23,855,332]
[Current Qi: 696,178/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,421,328/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,526St]
-*Mountains are for winners!*- the emperor crows, his proxy popping into being right in front of me before zipping up and away. -*Got 'e!*-
-Aw...? Bish...?- I simper before snickering as he does a dramatic death spiral before zooming out again. -What even are you checking? Didn't you do this? Imperial Infusion? Are you gonna take responsibility?!-
-*Not that kind of infusion, you dork.*- He snorts, the sky turning dreamsicle, orange and white. -*Dude, saw you completed a tutorial. Wondered how you were cycling so much and you hadn't gotten one yet,*- he just casually drops a bomb on me and keeps wandering around. -*Oh?*-
The world pulses, my head hurts, and the sky gets sucked into a void. Literally. The sky starts cracking, the emperor's autumn splitting along golden lines being dragged off into the starry vastness that I thought was my void space. What is happening?
-Apparently sleep cycling doesn't count,- I grind out. Fack, my head!
-*Well, duh. How are you supposed to watch a cutscene in your sleep?*-
I can't even see right now. Is it blood pressure? Do I have blood pressure? Do I have problems with my blood pressure? Why isn't this funneling into a --.
[Orb: Rage (Tier 4)]
[Successful Use: 1/100]
[Qi -1000]
[Karma 1000]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,796,932/23,855,582]
[Current Qi: 695,178/5,850,300]
[Current Karma: 95,422,328/107,275,977]
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,526St]
-I can't believe you done this,- I shudder, nudging the orb before trying to bank it to see what happens.
Hm? No notification, but the orb is gone. Is it 'cause it was technically already banked? Not important. Information. Must haz.
-Okay, so I did the cultivation tutorial --. -
-*Starter tutorial, but go on,*- the emperor says, the eyeball doing a cross between a loop-de-loop and a barrel roll.
-So that was the starter tutorial --. -
-*Cultivation starter tutorial. There's a tutorial for pissing or spitting long distances. Pretty sure those are body control...*- the emperor trails off, mumbling more to himself then me as he keeps exploring like nothing's happening!
-My head is killing me, I think I'm dying, and you knew about the tutorials this whole time?- I drop, head first, then chest, then stomach, then butt, and just lay on the ground, wings and legs limp.
-*I dunno what this is. Might be some void bug shiz. Really weird that you have so many contradictory classes. Whoever heard of a productive void bug?*-
-So how do I trigger the void bug tutorial?- Almost pretty sure I'm dying. If I just let it happen it won't be my problem anymore.
-*Have you tried eating and cycling while in your void space or thinking greedy thoughts?*- comes the potentially not snarky reply.
-Idle thoughts? Yes. Didn't work.- Ooh, am I gonna puke? ... Nevermind. -But for the cultivator thing I had to think about cycling while cycling and then not do anything else.-
-*What else would you do?*- the emperor scoffs.
-Eat? Spin? Groom? Sleep? Everything but sit there and watch myself?- I'm not trying to yell, and I don't really have the energy, but I'm pretty sure I'm yelling at a god right now.
-*Good point, I guess.*- Bish sounds thoughtful? Why would you just sit there and not tune out of just sitting there?
So do I try to cycle in my void with my bank open? Feeling pretty shitty so this might actually pop me. Here goes!
I dump harvestable shiver thorn on me, not a masochist, just don't want to potentially fall asleep and recover. I eat it, cycle it, wait for a notification or the world to change and nothing happens. Oh! I open up my bank while in my bank and I've got a spreadsheet with icons, short descriptions, numbers, a check box for harvestable. And another for edible. And another for eaten. And then another for collected. So. Much. Reading.
I cycle, vegging with my box open, too done with everything to deal with anything and I get an image of me in my hunan form, in blue robes with purple squares on them, just lounging on a giant pillow while wearing the gaudiest, chunkiest gold jewellery. Necklaces, bangles, rings, there's no crown but there is a giant golden chalice inset with some kind of glittery bits. I yawn, indolent, and I'm so confused that I get annoyed by what looks like a giant screen of static behind my image. The fuck am I seeing and why hasn't that finished loading.
Collect 10 of each mortal currency
7/10
Emperor
27/10
King
180/10
Prince
54/10
Regent
179/10
Dalin
155/10
Denii
105/10
Kin
What does that even mean? I've got tons of money! Fack! How do I check? Wallet!
[Mortal Wallet: 7E,27K,180P,54R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,526St]
I can't believe that worked... Wait. ... I'm short three emperors? But I'm not. I've got more than enough money to make up the difference! Do I literally have to have three more of the physical coin? Fucking --. Nope.
-I have tons of money but I need three physical emperor coins. Is there such a thing as a money exchange?- I ask tiredly, pulling my legs in and then pushing them out to one side.
The emperor makes inarticulate noises, the sky going from pastel orange to a darker almost red-orange as the eyeball thrashes.
-Are you dying, and can I eat your proxy or will it pops?- Only the hard hitting questions! Can I eat it!
-*Bankers, motherfucker!*- he shouts, the ground shivering, more bits of the sky breaking off and drifting away, but the void remains uncaring.
-I'm in my bank, yes,- I snark back. I've been banking!
One last disgusted cry and the emperor's proxy pops out of existence, somehow managing to cause a rather substantial vacuum where it was that quickly fills. Nothing appears to be dislodged, but I don't know what all is out. Something to check later when I have the energy to actually explore.
-Unless he meant going out to a physical bank,- I mumble, closing the window and getting ready to turn in. -Do they even have those?-