Lighters. They've got old school lighters that look like flares, and are reusable, and they burned the wet fish corpses to ash with them how? I huff, tucked under Woodcock's sweaty armpit. Guessing I'm not getting clean until this is over.
When we get to the last room it's already dry, a bunch of the more desperate, less intact undead licking at the floors and walls and mewling. I expect the brothers to put them out of their misery, but they gather them up, naming them and trying to console them. It's not until Woodcock sets me down to help one of them up, calling it old mother, that it occurs to me that maybe these aren't undead. So the injured and the elderly were shuffled to the farthest room with the weakest pool of essence. At least they weren't just fed to the pools or killed. Fack, we've got to take them outside.
When Woodcock and First Fist discuss the logistics of carrying the elderly out while trying to figure out how to stay battle ready, and I know they're going to have to move slow or risk breaking bones, I finally yield. Peer pressure and morals. Yay.
-*Do not run around,*- I warn, Woodcock turning to me with a slow glare, the side of his neck twitching with his rising heartbeat as he slowly straightens. I open a door to my void and point at it. -*One of you takes me to the other survivors, one of you keeps an eye on the elderly. Let's not push this.*-
I walk through the unframed portal, just a chunk of the world that doesn't match, and turn back to the brothers. First Fist nods, head bowed, tense, and when he lifts his head and I see tears streaming down his face, his muscles in stark relief as he fights them, I feel like shit. Dude probably thinks this is a godsend and I just don't want them to try to move in.
-*There are limits to these things,*- I say, ignoring the emperor's eye as it just floats and stares at me. -*Quickly.*-
I'm not going to tell him the brother's to take their time. I'm not going to let them linger. I know without knowing that First Fist is going to take care of the old people. I know without knowing that he's going to make use of my house to feed them, clean them up, treat them as best he can. I know without knowing that Woodcock is going to be quiet and an asshole because he wants to help more.
"The Gods are watching," an old woman says, crying tears that she ignores as she grips Woodcock's hands in her knobby arthritic ones. "They're always watching."
And now he's going to be mad at me about that shit, too. I'm not a godsend, I'm not going to stay, and I'm not taking the blame for all the shit these people have gone through because I'm here now. And if he'd look at me I might be able to convey all of that with a very sincere glare, but he's avoiding eye contact with everyone now. We get the elderly in, Woodcut walks out and waits for me, I side-eye the emperor's eye then walk out, closing the void portal behind me, and wait for all the lovely misplaced anger.
"Let's hurry," Woodcock says tightly before sprinting off. Without me.
I sigh and walk after him. I'm not capable of keeping up, why should I try? If I do get pushed too far, and I know I've been absorbing some of my banked shit, 'cause bank bug stuff, but I don't feel like being cute. For them. I'm fucking adorable for me. So fluffy.
Woodcock comes back, tsking as he finds me rage grooming in the middle of a corridor. I don't even remember stopping. He slings me under his arm and I keep grooming and ranting in my head, moving around his arm to reach my side.
I scream at him when he bops me on the head, but apparently he took us outside the caves. We're outside under the dark soap bubble sky, surrounded by cart horses, snapping black dogs, and tired and injured villagers who got trapped in the spatial prison. Woodcock cracks his knuckles and his neck, telling me to open the door. Was that his one-liner?
I open the door and First Fist storms out, all fire and wrath, still in his princeling uniform, and I'm left wondering when did these two coordinate this shit. We don't even have to say anything, the villagers running in, the cart horses running in, the brothers kicking ass as the fighters holding off the dogs retreat. For my part I unbank pots of stew, letting them break against the ground and distracting the hungry dogs. Once everyone's in I close the door, sitting and grooming and letting the boys clean up with the cart horses that stayed behind.
It's kinda funny to see a lion unicorn back kick one dog, one of the brothers vaulting over its back to kick a dog, sit side saddle, and both of them striking a pose. Who they posting up for? Who are they squaring up against? Or is this some energy sharing thing? This how they keep setting this stuff up? It looks like they're just freezing for the camera, but they're sending through physical contact?
I sigh, content as I finally finish a full groom without some asshole ruining it. The brothers and horses come over, the corpses of the spirits they'd sealed and the bodies they burned in the background.
[Script Silk(Wimble) Successful x20]
[Successful Use: 20/100]
[Qi -1 x20]
[Karma -10 x20]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,832,798/23,765,508]
[Current Qi: 227,162/5,831,400]
[Current Karma: 95,062,033/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,598,351]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
I cough up twenty more scripts before a chin lift signals they're ready. I open the door and First Fist picks me up, ruining my fucking silk with his dirty ash, sweat, and corpse juice before leading the cart horses in. As if things aren't already annoying, I see that some of my silk is spread across the ground for people to sit on, like my void is dirty, not the people trapped in a weird wasteland for a week under zombie princess control.
Where are the cart horses? I struggle loose, shift, and find the fuckers eating my gods blessed farm. Wonder if anyone did a count or if I can kill and eat a couple. They're magical, not corpses, and no one said anything about diseases or crazy shit. I'm gonna guess they don't have as hard a time understanding my mumbling, because they stop grazing, and, casually, gracefully walk back to where everyone else is up on the hill. I could pick off the stragglers, maybe?
-Yeah, they can understand me,- I sigh dejected as they sprint their shiny, scaled asses up the slope, and towards the two brothers. I shift until I'm back with everyone else, feeling tired and hungry. -*We need to get everyone out before people start dissolving in my void.-
I don't have to tell them they'll start dissolving to feed the void, and apparently I don't have to. The brothers and a few of the more able-bodied villagers, men and women, all gathering and waiting for me to open the door. When I do Woodcock picks me up, -- I still haven't cleaned up, and, honestly, what's the point? -- and starts hero running with First Fist, parkouring over obstacles, enemies or terrain, to somewhere my first doggo wasn't leading me.
Maybe I just shouldn't have pets? The kids thing --. Those weren't my kids. Those were some middle managers that used my business to get a leg up. Except Persephone. She was a try hard intern trying to make partner. Fack. No kids, no pets, and my recruiting skills are lackluster. What am I supposed to --.
Oh, right. Bulletin boards and quests. Fack, I never finished the tutorial or started the combat stuff. Wait, was there a corpse killing one? Or will it auto-complete when I get to it?
Can I check it now?
"Ready!" Woodcock shouts, setting me on the ground then just shoving me down.
For what, bitch? Why the fuck did he just push me into the dirt. I. Just. Finished. Grooming. That's it. I'm evicting everyone.
Fuck your grannies, fuck your cart horses, and fuck your stew stealing ass. I freeze as I realize that he was in my bank and he steals on the regular. People pop out all around me, I pop into my void and run to my kitchen to see that my kitchen is fucking empty.
-That motherfucker stole my stove,- I stare in disbelief at where I had a crosscut stone box of magic burners to see that my kitchen is open and roomier than before. -How?-
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.
There are no barrels, no crates, no bins --. All I got are counters built into the wall. No pots, no pans --. -He took my fucking dishes?-
I was storing my produce in the kitchen to force me to use it or lose it. I've got the excess in my bank, so it's not like I'm gonna go hungry, but dude just reset my kitchen--.
I turn to see that my dining room table isn't just cleared. It's gone. End tables. Gone. I check both bedrooms to find nice rooms I can turn into whatever I want.
My house. Is a blank slate.
I blink, come out of my void to look for the fucker and eat him, and he's gone. But there's a mysterious soup kitchen with tons of familiar crates, barrels, furniture, and. My. Gods. Blessed. Stove.
-*You stole from me,*- I tell First Fist as he smiles and serves people from my pots on my stove not in my void.
"We found all of this inside that sanctuary. We thank you for leading us to it," First Fist bows to me, all earnesty and gratitude. A few of the people nearby hear him and join him in respect and reverence.
-*That wasn't a sanctuary, that was my void. My inner space. You robbed me,*- Nah, bitch. You're not gonna guilt me into saying it's no problem.
"These people need it more," First Fist nods, convincing himself of gods know what as he goes back to distributing food. "The gods sent you so that we can help them rebuild. So that we can recover."
I roll my eyes, rotating my view to see what else they have of mine, and notice the sky isn't oil sheeny, there's a ton of ruins and broken houses, and a huge fucking tree with golden roads leading from it. We're outside. Is that what Woodcock meant by ready? I do a quick spin and see a boulder with a chunk missing out of it, leading to a hole that disappears into the ground, and the opening is covered with a soap bubble-like, oil slick sheen. We're out, the people are safe, and I maybe came out even with all the energy I've had to expel and all the condensed Qi lakes and essence rich god pieces we've gathered.
-*You are making their lives better by making mine worse. Where's my compensation?!*- Fuck First Fist, fuck Woodcock, I'm gonna eat all their friendship bracelets.
"We've already gotten that organized," First Fist smiles, calm, peaceful, then turns to focus on me.
Nope. I try to turn and run and crash right into Jade Pearl who pushes through my fluffiness to get a good grip on my actual body before hoisting me up like I'm a puppy pissing and he has to aim me. All the offends.
-Tch, you've gotten weaker,- Jade Pearl frowns at me, turning me this way and that. Excuse the fuck outta you? -Guess it'll be a few years before you can take me flying on your own merit? No matter.-
Wait, what? I blink in confusion. Oh! I carried him around --. Did he just shit on me for being bite sized like I can't just bank him and drain his shit to fuel my growth?
[Silk Spray(Tier 3) Successful]
[Successful Use: 3/100]
[Con. Qi -20]
[Karma -200]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,832,778/23,765,458]
[Current Qi: 227,162/5,831,400]
[Current Karma: 95,061,833/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
[Piercing Shot Successful]
[Successful Use: 62/100]
[Qi -30]
[Karma -5]
[Anchor Sigil Successful]
[Successful Use: 8/100]
[Qi -75]
[Karma -5]
[Launch Successful]
[Successful Use: 8/100]
[Con. Qi -2]
[Qi -2]
[Karma -5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,832,776/23,765,454]
[Current Qi: 227,055/5,831,400]
[Current Karma: 95,061,818/107,275,977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
I spit ball him in the face, try shift to my pre-emperor normal size while giving him a kite string, -- R.I.P. mini-me. -- find out that I can't, -- R.I.P. me, --- Fack, can I shift to a human form or will I turn into a doll-sized abomination? Not that I have anything against little people, I'll just be a little person trap with extra limbs at random times. --- Did I get weaker? -- but I was already flying up to sling his ass. I manage to get off the ground and haul him into the air behind me despite my reduced stature. Thank the gods.
-You said I got weaker,- I remind him as I do a quick circle to see if I can't find Woodcock. I don't know how good my aim is, but I've got ammo in the form of someone I used to care about for a target that is someone I never really cared about, and I'm pretty sure Jade Pearl will be fine. -I got bankier, but what made you say that?-
-Whee! I was afraid your reduced size was an indicator of your Rank in this essence rich zone!- The psycho starts with his arms spread open, pretending to fly, and is now just pumping his arms and legs like running will make me fly faster.
-I did manage to find the tutorial and learn bank bug stuff, but I might have accidentally neglected the other things I have access to.- I'm pretty sure I've got a ton of tailoring stuff which helped me be able to elemental my silk. -I was worried that I'd gotten weaker as a fighter rather than just stagnating.-
-Oh, we can probably find out,- Jade Pearl stands, arms open just enjoying the breeze.
There! I'm flying over the tarp roofed and shielded buildings still standing and spy Woodcock swaggering out of one building bouncing a coin purse. For almost a split second I nearly try to think that maybe he didn't sell some of the stuff that he stole from me for a profit, but it doesn't last long. Target acquired.
-Where's Persephone?- Jade Pearl casually asks me as I start my wind up.
[Launch Successful]
[Successful Use: 9/100]
[Con. Qi -2]
[Qi -2]
[Karma -5]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1832774/23765453]
[Current Qi: 227053/5831400]
[Current Karma: 95061813/107275977]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[Mortal Wallet: 10E,26K,228P,154R,179Da,155De,105k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1199Di,126Co,10526St]
-Yeet!- I sling him at Woodcock. Then I process the question.
Wow. Timing.