Chapter Thirty-Five
Lila could tell that no one was excited about returning to school on Monday morning. Her Design class, which was normally very quiet, was filled with grumbling students, complaining that the holidays were far too short. Lila was inclined to agree with them but tried to focus on her own work. There was no point arguing about it, after all.
After Design was over, Lila dragged herself to English. At least Asher would be there, though now that she was almost outside the Language Block, she wasn’t too sure whether they’d be sitting together this term. It had been convenient to last term, given they were paired for the same project, but now… would he even want to sit near her? She hadn’t yet seen Piper around campus, though her suspension would have been lifted by now. Would they be risking a resurgence of the rumours if they sat next to each other?
As Lila approached her English classroom, she could see Asher pacing in the distance outside. Had class not been let in yet?
“Morning,” Lila said tentatively once she was within a reasonable distance of him. It seemed he was alone out here.
“Hey,” Asher replied, spinning around and ceasing his pacing. He seemed tired already.
“What’s got you pacing like this?” Lila asked, digging around her bookbag for the book she’d promised him.
“I can’t stand still,” he confessed as he watched Lila struggle to find the book. “I need to know what happens next. Plus, I’m excited for Shakespeare.”
Lila finally got a hold of the book without responding to Asher, and passed it to him. He lifted it into the air triumphantly with a grin.
“Amazing!” he cried. “Now to binge this in one day!”
“Asher,” Lila warned. “What did I say about all-nighters?”
He pouted as he slipped the book into his own bookbag. Lila smiled at him.
“Let’s get seated, yeah?” Asher suggested, opening the classroom door and allowing Lila to pass through.
It seemed that they were the last to arrive. Their seats from last term were conveniently free, but there was space in a few other pockets of desks. Lila glanced at Asher uncertainly. He strode to the seat he’d sat in last term without a word. Lila pursed her lips before she followed Asher and settled into the seat next to him.
Ms Shard briefly looked up from her laptop, though she didn’t say anything for a couple moments. She opened a PowerPoint presentation, which looked like it was only to serve as a backdrop for their reading of Romeo and Juliet today.
“Alright, class, I think that’s everyone,” Ms Shard said, straightening up and surveying the room. She picked up her copy of Romeo and Juliet that was beside her laptop.
“We’ll have a go at reading this out loud,” Ms Shard explained, holding her book in the air so everyone could see what she was referring to. “Every other lesson, we’ll analyse what we’ve read in the previous lesson. We’ll try and go slow, as it can be difficult to understand, alright?”
No one said anything in response and Ms Shard sighed, opening her copy of Romeo and Juliet.
“I’ll start off then you can go, Liam,” she said, adjusting her glasses.
“Why me?” Liam whined, fussing with his school bag.
“You look like you’re having too much fun,” Ms Shard said loftily. She began to go through the prologue, Asher seemingly engrossed. Eventually, Asher was called to read some parts of Act 1, Scene 1, which he did with relish and without stumbling over any words. Lila admired Asher’s reading, well aware that she would butcher every second word. Knowing that Asher was a Shakespeare fanatic who had read some plays beforehand did comfort Lila, though – he was basically an expert, so his fluency with reading it out was to be expected and certainly wouldn’t be the norm.
“Impressive,” Ms Shard said with a smile once Asher had finished. She requested that Lila read out further. As predicted, she struggled to get through it, though Asher’s encouraging smiles and nods helped steel her nerves somewhat.
Finally, English was over. They had only managed to read through Scene 1. Nevertheless, Ms Shard seemed satisfied with their progress. Asher and Lila walked towards the locker room, with Asher excitedly delving into the intricacies of the prologue and Scene 1. Though it may have been boring to some, Asher’s passion stoked Lila’s interest. They parted at the entrance of the locker room, Lila smiling to herself on her way to her locker.
“What’s got you in a good mood?” yawned Elise, having already secured her morning tea.
“Nothing important,” Lila replied, shaking her head. She pulled out her own morning tea and put her bookbag away as Grace approached them.
“Hey, guys,” she said. “Anything exciting happen yet?”
“Nup,” replied Elise, popping the ‘p’. “Though Lila seems to be the only student in this whole school who’s in a good mood for nothing important, apparently.”
Lila rolled her eyes, locking her locker shut. Once Grace got herself situated, the trio wandered about the school, catching up on what they had done during their holidays when they were apart. Lila mentioned nothing at all regarding her visits to Asher. She didn’t want a repeat of Clare’s confrontation. Although… perhaps she could ask for advice…
“Clare and I got in a bit of a fight yesterday, actually,” Lila said once the conversation had lulled into an easy silence. Grace gasped.
“About what?” Elise asked, raising an eyebrow. “You guys are usually on the same side.”
“It was about Asher,” Lila sighed. Grace and Elise exchanged a meaningful look, but didn’t interrupt Lila. “I just wanted to know what you guys think I should do to make it up to her,” Lila added.
“You sure you don’t need to talk about what happened with your fight?” Grace asked with another look directed at Elise.
“I’m good,” Lila replied, shaking her head. “I just feel bad about throwing her out of my room yesterday.”
“I see,” Grace replied, placing a finger on her chin. “Perhaps you could get her some chocolates?”
“Or just apologise properly,” Elise said, shrugging. “Explaining yourself could be good, too, as long as it doesn’t sound like an excuse.”
“Sounds good,” Lila replied. “I’ll see what I can figure out.”
Soon, they were joined on their morning tea route by Cecelia. She looked to be in high spirits this morning as she bit into a banana.
“What’s up?” Cecelia asked everyone.
“Not much,” Lila breezily responded. “Yourself?”
“Not much either, I suppose,” Cecelia shrugged. “Now that semi is on Friday, though, it's starting to feel real.”
The girls started to discuss their intended hair and makeup styles for semi. They had originally toyed with the idea of getting their hair and makeup professionally done, however decided against it as it was only semi. Clare had offered to help Lila though, the realisation of which made Lila feel guilty all over again.
The rest of the day passed with teachers desperately trying to regain the focus of the Grade 11s. It was a losing battle, with conversations almost always devolving into semi on Friday. Lila left school that day not feeling much more learned, and didn’t have any real hope that this would change tomorrow.
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
Lila saw Clare’s car outside the house as she walked up the driveway. She knew she had to say something to Clare, but at the same time would prefer disappearing instead. Taking a deep breath, she turned the handle.
Clare was in the kitchen, washing a cup, when Lila walked in. Clare glanced back at Lila, but her eyes drifted back to the cup.
“Clare, can I talk to you?” Lila asked tentatively. Clare rinsed the cup, placed it onto the drying rack, and dried her hands.
“What about?” Clare asked, turning to face Lila, her tone noticeably frosty.
“I… just wanted to say sorry. About yelling at you yesterday,” Lila said quietly, her eyes darting to Clare’s face. Clare pursed her lips for a moment, but she stepped forward and pulled Lila into a hug.
“It’s okay,” she said softly into Lila’s shoulder. “I pushed you too far.”
“It’s not okay,” Lila said, pulling away slightly. “You were only worried about me.”
“While that’s true, I went in there with too many assumptions,” Clare replied seriously. “You can talk to me about it when you’re ready, Lila. But please do tell me about it, I don’t want you bottling it up inside.”
Lila stepped away from Clare, nodding. Her lips trembled slightly, but she held it together. Clare clearly noticed but didn’t mention it.
“In other news, have you decided how you want your hair to be for semi?” Clare asked, quickly changing the topic. Relieved that they were no longer talking about yesterday, Lila described what she was thinking, and Clare suggested alternatives or accessories that could work well. They eventually moved on to other topics, Lila feeling far more light-hearted than she did when she entered the house. Though it was an easier resolution than she had expected, she figured that Clare had likely been mulling about it all day as well. They really were sisters.
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The next morning, Lila had English and Study with Asher before morning tea. Despite the excitement of semi on Friday emanating from the students in the classroom, Ms Shard managed to wrangle some work out of them. As promised, they analysed what they had read yesterday in great detail. Asher’s own interpretations that he divulged quietly to Lila helped to enrich her understanding, and she wasn’t sure how she would have survived if she wasn’t sitting next to him.
Once they moved on to Study, however, Asher’s serious and intellectual side fell away, his footsteps bouncy.
“Lila, I’m only telling you this because I’m gonna sit next to you again, but don’t you dare disrupt me, alright?” he said, his eyes twinkling with elation as they entered the library. He pulled out the book Lila had given him yesterday and fanned the pages dramatically. “I have a very serious mission today.”
Lila laughed and they seated themselves in their usual booth once they signed in. Asher quickly fell silent as he began reading the book. It seemed that he was a quarter of the way through already and Lila left him to it. She opened her school laptop and began watching a YouTube video for a few moments. After those moments passed, she could no longer ignore the unnerving feeling of someone watching her.
She looked up and her eyes met Piper’s. Piper was sitting in her usual spot near Ayla and seemed very subdued despite Ayla’s overt attempts at making conversation with her. Lila’s palms grew sweaty, and her chest felt achy, probably owing to how violently her heart was beating. Piper swiftly started packing away her things.
“Asher, don’t look now, but Piper’s here,” Lila murmured, looking back down at her laptop.
“Mmm?” Asher looked up at Lila and placed his bookmark in the book, setting it aside.
“Yeah, I know,” he said, leaning back. It was only because Lila had seen him in this state before that she could recognise that anger was starting to brew within him. “She was in Chem yesterday. I almost threw up.”
“That’s unexpectedly candid of you,” Lila said, looking up at him. He was grinding his teeth but seemed to relax his jaw slightly when their eyes met.
“You look like you’re about to throw up,” he said, his tone coloured by a bite of playfulness amongst suppressed rage.
“Probably accurate,” Lila sighed, looking back at her laptop. “I can tell by your reaction that you’re not happy about her return to school.”
“Definitely not. But…” Asher exhaled deeply, looking up at the ceiling. “As long as she stays the fuck away from us, I can learn to live with it.”
“Honestly, that’s really impressive,” Lila whispered. Asher picked up the book again and began reading, though he gripped the edges of the book tightly as he did so.
Bio was Lila’s last class of the day, and she was bracing herself for Cecelia and Lucas’ new ‘norm’, given what Lila had learned over the holidays. They were already seated by the time Lila had made her way from Modern History, but they weren’t talking. Mr Johnson appeared to have already given up on any kind of formal instruction as he handed out worksheets half-heartedly.
Everyone seemed to be talking about semi, which Lila could see was wearing down on Cecelia as time passed. Lucas still looked none the wiser as to the reasons for Cecelia’s silence, but he appeared to be accepting it easier this term than he had at the end of last term. Cecelia and Lucas seemed to go so well together with their easy banter and casual jokes, but now that it had come to this, Lila wasn’t sure whether they’d ever get back to how they had been.
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The rest of the week passed by in a blur as Lila’s anticipation for semi grew, though a few things of note had happened.
Asher had returned Lila’s book, so she supplied him with the last in the trilogy on Wednesday afternoon during their Study class. Neither Piper nor Ayla were sitting in their usual spot during that Study session, which relieved Lila greatly.
On Thursday, Ms Wright had cornered Lila during PE after one last practice session for semi. Ms Wright sternly confirmed that Lila had to attend hockey practice at 7.30am on Saturday, no matter how tired she felt after semi, to which Lila begrudgingly agreed. During lunch that day, just as Cecelia had been doing for the rest of the week, Cecelia had joined Lila, Grace, and Elise on their usual grass patch for lunch. They were discussing the merits of hate-watching Netflix shows that flopped when Lucas approached.
“Hey,” he said, looking down at Elise. Elise quickly glanced at Cecelia, who was stabbing her pasta particularly viciously.
“Hey,” Elise responded with a sigh. “Do we have to talk now?”
“It’ll only take a minute,” Lucas said hurriedly, his eyes flickering to Cecelia, who was clearly ignoring his presence.
“Okay,” Elise replied dubiously, raising an eyebrow.
“I don’t think you’ve given me my tie yet,” he said, suddenly very fidgety.
“Oh,” Elise uttered, smacking a hand to her forehead. “I keep forgetting to bring it, I’m so sorry. I’ll bring it tomorrow so you can take it home and put it on.”
“Thanks,” he replied awkwardly. He didn’t seem to want to leave.
“Did you need something else?” Elise asked. He looked back at her, his eyes flickering to Cecelia for a second, before shaking his head.
“Nah. See you tomorrow.”
“Girl, he totally wants to talk to you,” Lila said, nudging Cecelia after Lucas wandered away. Cecelia glanced at Elise and sighed.
“I don’t think I need to hear what he has to say,” she said with a shrug. “He’s made his choice.”
Elise and Grace gave each other a meaningful look before Elise stood up, dusting herself off.
“I have to go to sickbay,” she announced, scrunching the plastic wrap that once held her sandwich.
“I’ll go with her,” Grace said swiftly, also standing up.
“We can all go,” Cecelia suggested, about to stand, but Grace shook her head.
“Nah, the nurse gets mad if we crowd around sickbay,” she said, smiling at Cecelia. “Stay, enjoy your lunch.”
Elise clutched her stomach and began groaning in pain, though Lila knew that she was just putting it on. Clearly, they were trying to give Cecelia and Lila space to talk. Elise and Grace began to walk in the direction of sickbay, with Grace rubbing Elise’s back, evidently playing into the act. Cecelia looked solemnly down at her now mutilated pasta.
“Cecelia, I think you should talk to Lucas,” Lila said quietly, biting into her banana and swallowing.
“And say what?” Cecelia replied moodily. “That I’m upset that he didn’t ask me to semi? That sounds stupid.”
“Sometimes vulnerability is good,” Lila said, thinking back to Asher’s explanation of why he couldn’t be vulnerable with Holly.
“But it’s terrifying,” Cecelia said, snapping the lid of her barely-eaten pasta closed.
“I know,” Lila replied. “I’m struggling with it myself, too.”
A glimmer of excitement passed through Cecelia’s eyes. It wasn’t as vibrant as it had been in the past when Cecelia was intrigued by what Lila had said. Despite this, it comforted Lila somewhat that she could still pique Cecelia’s interest.
“What are you struggling with?” Cecelia whispered.
“Everyone around me is telling me to stay away from… someone. ‘Cause I’ll just end up hurting myself. He’s in a relationship-”
“Lila, is it Asher?” Cecelia questioned, a small smirk creeping on her face. Lila immediately flushed.
“N-No,” she said, looking down at the grass they were sitting on.
“Sure, Jan,” Cecelia laughed. It was the first genuine laugh Lila had heard in a while from her.
“A-Anyway,” Lila cleared her throat before continuing. “I was about to say that I’ve been struggling with figuring out what I want. He’s a great friend, and his girlfriend is really good to him. They’re actually couple goals. But every time I think about them together, I get this weird pain in my chest and I struggle to breathe. And it’s not his fault, but I’ve been thinking more and more that I need to get it off my chest and at least say something. I don’t know what, but something. Otherwise I might just explode. I… don’t think it’s a crush, but there’s something there and it’s pissing me off every time I catch myself feeling a certain way.”
Cecelia’s grin faded and her eyes looked downcast. “That… sounds familiar,” she finally admitted, still averting her gaze from Lila.
“I’ve also been thinking that it’s time for me to just quietly let go and not address it at all,” Lila added, leaning back on her elbows. “If I let go, it’ll be easier for me to still be friends. And I think I could even be friends with his girlfriend. But it’s so much easier said than done. I’ve already given up on the idea of staying away from him, ‘cause something always brings me back, one after the other. So I’m just trying to sort out how to feel content with how things are now. But, with your situation, I think you should think about talking to Lucas about it.”
Cecelia nodded, her eyes shining with tears. “It’s nice to know that you’re going through something similar. I’m not sure if I’ll ever address it, with how I’m feeling now, though,” Cecelia said in a low, quivering voice. Lila gave Cecelia a small smile.
“We’ll survive,” Lila said confidently. “This will all pass, one day. And then we’ll look back and think about how silly it all was.”
“Hopefully,” Cecelia replied despondently. “Though, right now, all I feel is pain.”
“Come on,” Lila said, standing up. She gave Cecelia a hand in standing up as well. “Let’s have a good time at semi tomorrow. Forget about everything that’s going on and just live in the moment, y’know?”
Cecelia gave Lila a watery grin. “Sounds good.”