Chapter One Hundred and Eleven

Asher continued to approach the foundation, before bending low to where the front steps had once been. Lila cast a quick, anxious look around the rest of the property. Everything else was exactly how they’d last seen it – including the once-handsome wagon next to the farmhouse’s remains that had somehow escaped the flames unscathed.

There didn’t seem to be anyone around, so Lila hurried to join Asher, crouching next to him, her hands on her knees.

“See anything?” she asked in a hushed whisper.

“Not sure,” Asher replied, his voice shaky. “What happened? When? Why?”

“Well… it doesn’t feel hot,” Lila said matter-of-factly, reaching out a hand to confirm this. “So, it’s not like it just happened. I didn’t smell any smoke outside last night when we had our picnic, either. So, it must’ve been before then. As to the what and why… I’m not sure, from this angle, but… we turned everything off when we left last time. Unless someone came back in and did something to the wiring or whatever, I would say that it wouldn’t have been just an electrical fault. And… if it wasn’t an electrical fault gone wrong… then it’s pretty likely that it was set on fire on purpose.”

Asher stared at her like she’d just performed a Shakespearean soliloquy in French.

“You think… someone committed arson here?”

She paused, unsure what she thought anymore.

“Well… maybe we’ll find some clues if we keep looking around,” she finally said, standing up and surveying the area again.

Asher sighed, seeming reluctant to still be here, but began looking around all the same.

The rubble and ash left behind from the fire told Lila nothing of importance as she peered over at the foundation, seeing where the collapsed roof lay. Luckily for Lila, the front of the house seemed mostly intact – which meant she could take a look around there without fearing being crushed by the roof. Now that the stairs were entirely busted, it looked like it might be a bit of a jump to get up to the entryway but still doable. She began preparing to do so when she felt Asher’s firm hand on her shoulder.

“What are you doing?” he asked, looking down at her with a mixture of curiosity and worry.

“I was gonna jump up there,” she replied, pointing. He blinked, glancing at the foundation and back at her.

“Jumping sounds like an excellent way to get hurt, especially when you don’t fully know what’s up there. Here.”

Lila almost objected before he held onto her waist with both hands. Her argument quickly fell away as her heart started to race. She really liked the feeling… and, besides, she had said she’d let Asher do more things for her before they even started dating…

In the same instant that she finished her thought, he swiftly raised her up, swinging her slightly so she could lift her legs and stand on the porch. She was surprised by the ease at which he did this – almost to the point of missing her landing.

She stumbled as her feet connected to the floor before standing fully. She turned to Asher, giving him an enthusiastic thumbs up. He chuckled, beginning to climb up himself. She knelt down, reaching out a hand to help him. He looked unsure but gripped it all the same.

It wasn’t all that difficult to pull him up, and as soon as he was atop the porch, she smiled at him, standing once more.

Now that she had a clearer picture of the farmhouse remains, it was incredible, really, just how much destruction had occurred. It was also rather terrifying, but she tried not to think too hard about that. At the very least, it had looked relatively abandoned before the fire – so she was unlikely to find any bodies… she hoped. Being up here, she found that it was a battle to keep her eyes from watering. The acrid smell of ash was pungent and eerily similar to charcoal, and she took care not to breathe in more than necessary. She didn’t think that inhaling the ash would be tasty either.

“Jesus,” Asher muttered, his eyes wide and darting from side to side as if trying to absorb as much of the wreckage as he could.

“Could say that again,” Lila murmured, beginning to walk through the remnants of the hallway. If she’d been worried about splinters the first time she’d visited, it was definitely a certainty that she’d fall victim to some if she wasn’t careful. She tried to remember how the house was mapped, but it had all been a blur, her head whirling as she tried to process the fact that it had been burnt to a crisp so soon after their last visit.

“Not even the bathroom was safe,” Asher said forlornly, nodding towards where it had been. The door to it was scorched, like everything else here, but it had somehow been relieved of its hinges and instead was lying in the hallway. It was just beyond the bathroom where the roof had caved in – so, if Lila was careful enough, she might be able to see what Asher meant.

“Are bathrooms meant to be safe in a fire?” Lila asked, inching closer to it. Her feet kicked up small clouds of soot that now covered the flooring, the smell coating her lungs. She cleared her throat, which seemed to help.

“Well, in comparison to the rest of the house, it was all tiled, wasn’t it?” Asher reasoned, following behind her with careful, deliberate footsteps.

“Sure…” Lila trailed off, poking her head into the open doorway of the front room. It seemed that most of the furniture, not that there had been much to begin with, had succumbed to the flames, leaving behind small ashen traces or bits of unidentifiable wood.

As Lila pulled out her phone to use as a torch, a creeping sensation began to gather upon the back of her neck. The air around her was incredibly still and silent – as though the gravity of the fire had leeched into the surrounding environment. She gave an involuntary shudder, casting another glance around the property. She didn’t catch sight of any pairs of eyes looking back at her – but the lingering feeling that, perhaps, there was something (or someone) watching them didn’t abate.

“Everything okay?”

Lila whipped her head around to face Asher, stumbling over her feet slightly. Seemingly out of instinct, he reached out to help steady her and she gave him a shaky, appreciative smile.

“Y-Yeah,” she said, stretching a hand up to gingerly touch his which still grasped her shoulder. “Thanks.”

“You sure?” His face was pulled into one of genuine concern. “We don’t have to stay here.”

Lila pressed her lips together as she considered the suggestion. She looked behind her once more before peering into the darkness beneath the collapsed roof.

“There’s… not much left to look at,” she said slowly. “But… I’d still like to look at what I can. It’s… really weird that this whole place is burnt down. Especially since no one was living here – at least, when we were here last. Houses generally don’t just… burn down on their own. And I can’t help thinking that it’s just… too convenient. Piper was murdered and had a printed picture of the farmhouse? We don’t even have one of those anymore – and it’s connected to your house through that back road. Did someone know she visited and murdered her for it? Are we-”

Lila cut herself off, unwilling to finish the thought aloud. Were they next? Was the catalyst for Piper’s murder seeing this farmhouse? And… here they were, standing here at the hollowed husk of the place that may have led to Piper’s demise…

She felt Asher lightly squeeze her shoulder. “C’mon,” he murmured in her ear. “Let’s keep going until you’re satisfied. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you don’t take a proper look.”

Lila looked up at Asher, suddenly struck by how pale his face was. Should she give up? He didn’t look so good…

“If you wanna go back, we can,” Lila said softly, looking back down at the splintering floorboards beneath her feet. “You don’t look like you want to be here.”

“You’re right. I don’t. But… you raise very good questions… questions that make me wonder… did Mum find this place and… and end up like Piper somewhere because she saw this…”

Lila felt his grip tighten on her shoulder and she turned to face him properly. He kept his eyes away from hers, but from his quivering lower lip and the redness of his cheeks, Lila could tell he was trying not to give in to his emotions.

“Alright,” Lila finally uttered, fighting back the urge to kiss him. It… wasn’t the right time, what with how upset he looked. “Let’s just take a quick look around.”

He nodded, letting go of her shoulder. Lila hesitated for a moment before slipping her hand into his. He met her gaze for just a second before looking away, his cheeks deepening in colour.

“T-The next room is just there,” he said in a strangled voice, pointing at said room. This door was wide open, displaying the same amount of destruction and rubble as the previous room. They continued onwards in silence, steadily approaching the bathroom that Asher had pointed out earlier. The floorboards groaned and whined underneath their feet, serving only to contribute to the unsettling feeling that gripped Lila’s throat like a vice. The looming darkness was close now, the smell overpowering, now that they had reached the bathroom and the sharp tin roof that pierced the wooden floor below.

“I don’t think we should move the door,” Asher said in a low voice, startling Lila.

“Y-Yeah,” Lila agreed, placing her free hand on her chest, her heartbeat pounding against it with alarming ferocity. She hadn’t realised quite how on edge she was feeling.

They simultaneously peered into the bathroom, which was markedly far less scorched than the rest of the rooms. Besides that observation, Lila couldn’t see anything else of interest.

She turned to look at where the roof was lying across the hallway, pulling out her phone again. She shared a look with Asher and he silently nodded. She let go of his hand, bending low to the ground. She wasn’t about to stick her head underneath the roof… but there seemed to be a sizeable gap here. Perhaps… she’d see something.

With a deep breath in which she took care not to inhale any soot, she cast her torch through the gap. It felt as though the burned remains of the farmhouse were sucking up all the light her phone had to offer – she wasn’t able to see anything in particular here either.

Disappointed, she pointed her phone downwards to the floor before her heart stopped altogether. These marks… looked like drag marks – as though fingernails had dug through the floorboards.

“A-Asher… w-what does this look like to you?” she stammered, pointing to her findings. He crouched next to her, following her line of sight.

“That’s probably where the fire burned the hottest,” he said candidly. “Why, what are you seeing?”

Lila exhaled with relief. She was clearly looking too deeply into the shape left behind by the flames.

“It’s nothing,” Lila shook her head, slowly standing up again. “Just… thought I saw something that wasn’t there.”

He was silent for a second before also standing. “It looks like hands,” he eventually said quietly. “But I don’t think it’s that. The origin of the fire is likely down that way, but it’s far too dangerous to try and get in, what with the roof already being like this.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t planning on trying.”

“I’m glad.”

Lila looked around once more, flashing her torchlight around to see if there was anything she hadn’t noticed. With nothing left of note, she turned to Asher, a small, satisfied smile on her face.

“Let’s get outta here,” she said, coughing slightly. “This soot’s gonna suffocate me.”

“Say no more,” Asher grinned, his eyes shining with apparent relief. “Though… you didn’t want to take photos?”

She brought a hand to her chin as she contemplated this. She really ought to, but… her consideration of the connection of having a photo of this place to Piper’s murder still plagued her mind.

“We’re… probably not coming back, are we?” Lila asked in a low whisper.

“There’s nothing really left here,” Asher replied sensibly, waving a hand around at the surroundings to illustrate his point. “So, probably not.”

Lila sighed dejectedly. “You’re right… I’ll take some pictures.”

After taking a few from her current vantage point, including one or two of the drag-like markings, Lila gestured for Asher to start moving out. She took more pictures along the way of the various rooms and the hallway before Asher helped her down from the porch. Biting her lower lip, she took one final picture of the exterior of the farmhouse. If she didn’t print these… then she’d probably be safe. Or, at least, that’s what she was telling herself.

Asher glanced at her, a knowing expression on his face.

“You look freaked out,” he observed. She didn’t want to admit that but… well, there wasn’t any point in lying, either.

“I am,” she confessed, slipping her phone back into her pocket. “But… I’m glad we looked around. Even though we didn’t get any answers. It’s weird but the fact that we didn’t get answers is kinda an answer, isn’t it?”

Asher looked at her blankly for a second before chuckling. “You could look at it like that,” he conceded, “though it’s deeply unsatisfying.”

“I never said it was satisfying. Just that… I feel like the absence of real clues is a clue in itself. Like… if it was burnt down on purpose, it was obviously to hide something. The what… I don’t know…” she trailed off, losing herself in her thoughts. Something was niggling at her – something that seemed so close, yet also so far from her conscious understanding. Was she even close to the right answer?

As she pondered this, an involuntary shiver ran through her body. The pressing feeling of something, or someone, watching them had returned. Lila whipped around, casting her eyes wildly around the scenery, spotting absolutely nothing of the sort. Her breathing increased in speed and heaviness as she strained her eyes – surely her instincts weren’t deceiving her. Right?

“Hey,” Asher softly whispered in her ear, placing one of her hands in his with a light squeeze. “Let’s head back.”

It was strange, how quickly Asher’s touch seemed to calm Lila down. His touch tended to spike her heart rate and stop her breathing, but now… it felt as though she was always meant to be holding his hand. That his energy – not quite calm, yet stoically refusing to give in to the panic Lila was teetering on the edge of – was being transferred from his hand into hers and travelling through her veins. Was this how it should be? It felt right, at least. The only sense of ‘right’ in this bizarre, unsettling scene.

She followed Asher’s lead back down the path towards the mansion. Neither spoke for quite a while. Lila felt her tension fade with each step in his presence, which she decided to focus on rather than the eeriness of the farmhouse. Every so often, she would sneak a peek at Asher, though he would catch her looking immediately. Or was she catching him looking at her? Either way, Lila would feel her cheeks turning pink with each charming grin he gave her in return for her gaze.

Finally, they crossed the lawn covering Asher’s backyard and entered the house through the sliding doors that they’d exited from.

They didn’t need to exchange a word to know that heading up to the rumpus room was immediately next on the agenda. Lila didn’t see Marlene or Gabriel anywhere, nor did she hear them pottering around. She supposed that Gabriel might have headed home, given it was a Sunday, and that Marlene was running through her usual Sunday tasks elsewhere in the house.

Strangely, this lack of supervision, though incredibly usual and expected, had an entirely different weight than it had previously. Asher let her head into the rumpus room ahead of him, and she almost asked him to keep the door open. But, with a deep and surprisingly shaky sigh, she didn’t.

“You okay?” Asher asked as he crossed the room, sourcing some cups and drinks to pour in them.

“Grand,” Lila quipped before sighing again. “Well, maybe not so grand.”

“Still thinking about the farmhouse?”

Lila’s heart skipped a beat. “Yeah,” she replied, staring at her knees rather than at the cup that he passed to her. It seemed that he knew her well enough to know her drink preference without asking, judging by the sweet, fruity scent emanating from it. He seemed to sense that she wasn’t being totally honest as he sat next to her – close enough for their thighs to touch.

“Sounds like there’s more than that,” he said shrewdly, taking a sip of his drink. Lila’s cheeks burned a bright, flaming red as she continued to refuse to look at him.

It hadn’t even been 24 hours since they started dating. There was no way she was going to tell him that she was… hyperaware of the fact that they really weren’t supervised at his place. That this lack of supervision meant they didn’t have to worry about getting caught…

She shook her head vehemently – more to shake her current thoughts (and where they were leading to) out of her mind than as an answer to Asher’s statement.

“You can tell me anything, you know,” he said seriously. Lila made the mistake of meeting his eyes with hers and she immediately set her cup onto the coffee table before nervously smoothing out her jeans.

“I… know,” she finally replied with more than a hint of reluctance. “But… I’m still trying to figure things out in my own head first.”

“I can respect that,” Asher nodded, setting his own cup down with a clink. “Truthfully, my head’s a bit of a mess after seeing it all burnt down like that.”

“That makes sense.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, punctuated only by the sound of Lila’s heartbeat. She hoped he didn’t hear how loud and harsh it was, despite being so close to her. She wasn’t quite interested in being embarrassed by physiological responses she couldn’t control, after all.

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“… and I’ve been thinking about other things,” Asher eventually added. Lila glanced at him and was surprised to see his cheeks so pink.

“Other things?” Lila tried not to sound hopeful – that if he admitted that he was… thinking about those kinds of things, then perhaps she could give in to the thrum of desire that was harmonising with her heartbeat.

“Things like… the fact that you’re my girlfriend,” he explained in an incredulous whisper. “I kinda thought you’d run away from the idea by now.”

“Did you do something that deserves that?”

“Not that I can remember. But… I can’t seem to get that fear out of my brain. That maybe you’re an unwilling participant, trapped because you can’t say no or something.”

Lila snaked her hand around his, pulling him closer to her shoulder. “I don’t know what I can do to convince you, except hope that it goes away with time. It’s hardly been a day, after all. But… I’m being entirely truthful here when I say that I’ve been wanting this for months, at the very least. There’s no way that I’d be an unwilling participant. You could almost say that I’m too willing a participant.”

Of course, Lila was again brought back to her more unsavoury thoughts but dispelled them quickly as she strained her ears to hear Asher’s response. She heard him swallow hard, as though there was something lodged in his throat, before feeling his soft lips press gently on the top of her head.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice shaky with an emotion that Lila could only guess was genuinely appreciative and perhaps a little dumbfounded. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

“You better,” Lila asserted, squeezing his hand. “But I’ll keep reminding you for as long as it takes.”

He gave a low, breathy chuckle before squeezing her hand in return. “When you say it like that, I don’t think I could doubt you.”

Her heart thumped even more loudly than before, to the point that she could feel it in her ears. They must have been red-hot, though she pressed her left one against his shoulder, nestling herself there comfortably. He didn’t complain about the heat, or her move to be closer to him. The fact that she could get away with this was gratifying in a way that she hadn’t anticipated. Actually, she was beginning to settle in so much that her eyelids felt heavy, with each blink taking longer and longer to open her eyes.

“Should we do some research?”

Asher’s question hung in the air for a beat too long. She felt him shift, and it occurred to her that, yes, he had said something. Opening her eyes, she glanced up at him, meeting his soft, kind ones with mild confusion.

“Are you tired?” he asked, tenderly brushing away some of her hair that was resting on her forehead. “You can nap, if you want.”

She shook her head half-heartedly. Now that he’d asked about research, she knew she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without finding out what he’d meant.

“Research what?” she asked, stifling a yawn behind her hand. He chuckled again.

“I didn’t think you heard me. Don’t worry about it. Sleep.”

“I won’t be able to now,” Lila pouted, sitting up so she could see him better. “What did you want to research?”

“Well, a fire that was that destructive might’ve caught someone’s attention,” he said, whipping out his phone. “Perhaps it was on one of the local pages, or local news or something.”

“Maybe,” Lila nodded, taking her phone out too. “I’ll check the news if you check Facebook.” She was wide awake now and immediately launched into searches across Google and even the Forestglade Press.

After several minutes, she shook her head. “Nothing. Any luck on your end?”

“Nope,” Asher replied, popping the ‘p’ with a disappointed sigh. “For neighbours as nosy as mine, they don’t seem to be observant of raging fires.”

“Or,” Lila said slowly, tapping the side of her phone as she considered this absence of information, “the fire was set while people were at work.”

“It would’ve been during school holidays though,” Asher frowned. “Students would’ve seen it.”

“If they’re at home, maybe. But it was school holidays. Even if they were at home, they were probably busy inside gaming or whatever.”

Asher fell silent, appearing to deeply consider this.

“Are we overthinking all this? It sounds like it was really calculated, if what you say is true,” he asked finally, running his hand through his hair in apparent frustration.

“… Should we ask Marlene?”

Lila’s suggestion was soft, almost inaudible. Asher stared at her; his mouth slightly open in shock.

“You want to talk to Marlene?” he finally spluttered.

“We’ve been assuming that it happened during the school holidays,” Lila replied frankly. “But if it was during the day, it could’ve been last week during school hours. That way there’d be even fewer witnesses. But Marlene generally comes back from her shifts at the café in the middle of the day – she could’ve seen or smelled the fire. We’d be able to pinpoint a time and date, at least, and that might give us a clue.”

Asher looked at her doubtfully. “What if she started the fire?”

Lila pursed her lips. “I was thinking of asking Gabriel, too. He’s usually around during the day, and he was still here when you travelled to Vanuatu. If he says he noticed something during the day last week and Marlene says she didn’t even though she realistically should’ve – then… we’ve got a good idea of a culprit, too.”

Asher continued to look at her for a moment before hanging his head. “I can’t fault your logic there. But… what if she did do it? Then what? Do… we go to the police?”

Lila bit her lower lip as she pondered this. She rested on an answer that didn’t feel exactly right but she didn’t have an alternative immediately available to her either.

“No,” she said hesitantly, shaking her head as if to reinforce her point to herself. “Technically, we would’ve been trespassing. It’d also be circumstantial if we thought Marlene was lying, and probably hard to prove. It was abandoned, too, so it’s not as though anyone’s missing it either. The risks outweigh the benefits here, I think.”

Asher flashed her a quick grin. “Again, I can’t fault your logic. The goody-two-shoes in me is screaming, though.”

“Didn’t know you still had one,” Lila laughed. He laughed along with her before ending it with another sigh. He stretched his arms above his head and gave her a sideways glance.

“Well… we’ve got some time before lunch. What do you wanna do?”

“I don’t have anything in mind,” Lila replied swiftly, looking towards the Switch controllers. “The usual, I guess?”

He smirked at her, reaching forward for the right amount of controllers. “Usual sounds perfect.”

The rest of the morning flew by in each other’s company, rotating through their usual games and then over to watching videos. Of course, there was an unusual amount of closeness between them, as though there was a magnetic force pulling them together. Even when Lila tried to shift her position so she could sit comfortably, she found herself right back against Asher, soaking in his radiating warmth.

Eventually, Marlene called them down for lunch. The smell of cheese, tomatoes and aromatic herbs hinted to Lila that lunch was a humble pasta. As she sat in her seat in the dining room, she saw that she was indeed correct.

“Gabriel’s gone home for the day,” Marlene explained with a small smile, pouring juice for both Lila and Asher. “Therefore, today’s lunch is rather simple. I hope you enjoy it.”

“It smells delicious,” Lila replied, meeting Marlene’s gaze. For some reason, Lila had the distinct feeling that Marlene’s eyes were reflecting some kind of nervous energy. Was there something bothering Marlene? Or was Lila just misinterpreting Marlene’s expression?

She’d barely asked herself those questions when Marlene returned to the kitchen.

“Marlene… seems different,” Lila murmured to Asher, taking a sip of her juice.

“Does she?” Asher’s tone conveyed surprise as he looked towards the kitchen.

Lila shrugged, now far more unsure of herself. If Asher hadn’t noticed, then perhaps she was misinterpreting something.

Marlene returned with small, warmed pieces of bread and homemade butter before giving them both a tight-lipped smile.

“Marlene,” Lila said before she could tell her brain to shut up.

“Yes, Lila?” Marlene’s voice was curious, and she wiped her hands on her tea towel. To Lila, it looked more like she was wringing her hands, as though anxious about something.

She hadn’t thought of a way to ask about the burnt farmhouse without looking suspicious. With a deep breath, she decided to just run with the first thing that popped into her head.

“So… I heard from one of my school friends who lives in the area that there was a fire around here recently. Uh, s-she heard about it from her cousin o-or something. So I was wondering if you knew anything about it?”

Asher’s mouth flapped open, as though he was unable to believe what he was hearing. Marlene paused, her eyes flashing an emotion that was too quick for Lila to read.

“A fire?” Marlene tilted her head, her eyes flickering to the right. She was silent for a second as Lila waited for her answer with bated breath. Eventually, Marlene shook her head.

“Unfortunately, I don’t know anything about it,” she said gently with a bow. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

Marlene departed without another word and Asher turned to Lila, his expression clearly flabbergasted.

“Lila,” he whispered, “why’d you just-”

“I honestly don’t know,” Lila replied in a low voice, spooning some pasta into her mouth. Then, she lowered her spoon with a sigh. “I… feel like most people would have follow-up questions, don’t you?”

“Like what?”

“I dunno. Maybe like ‘when was the fire?’ or ‘where abouts was it?’ or something like that. But she just flat out said she didn’t know anything about it.”

Asher shrugged. “Maybe? I mean, if it doesn’t sound familiar to her, she didn’t need any follow-up questions.”

Lila pursed her lips before taking another bite of her pasta. Perhaps Asher was right. Not everyone was as curious as she was, after all.

Despite Asher’s presumption, he seemed deep in thought for the rest of lunch. Lila herself couldn’t quite shake the feeling that Marlene’s answer was dissatisfying to her somehow and pondered the reason as to why as she finished off her meal.

With a final swig of juice, she caught Asher’s eye and he smiled at her.

“Ready?” he asked, putting his cup down.

“Yeah,” Lila returned his smile and stood, stretching.

They returned upstairs, with Asher closing the door behind them as usual. Again, the closure of this door made Lila’s heart give a heavy, breathtaking thud before she firmly reminded herself that Asher normally closed it. It didn’t mean anything in particular.

Though… now that he closed it… they could probably get a little bit closer than they had thus far.

She glanced at him, considering the idea before a hard lump formed in her throat. Seeing his face in the daylight – though it was a face she was intimately familiar with – made the idea of kissing him incredibly impossible. She wasn’t exactly sure why she felt that way, but as her hands trembled by her sides, she was losing any hope of fighting against it. It… was too much, too soon, after spending so long as just friends. She was definitely much braver in the semi-darkness.

He seemed none the wiser to her inner plight as he gave her another warm smile, ruffling the back of his hair.

“Well, I guess there’s no time to waste,” he said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“S-Sorry?” Lila stammered, her eyes wide.

He blinked, lowering his hand. “Did you not want to play?”

Lila let out a long, slow breath. She was losing her mind.

“Let’s play,” she confirmed, sinking onto the couch.

Asher grinned, handing her a set of joy cons before setting up one of the games they’d been recently playing. Soon, her worries melted away in the face of spending time with Asher, her focus changing to his smile, laugh and silly jokes as they wiled away the rest of the day.

Neither touched on the farmhouse again for now, though it lingered in the back of her mind. She’d talk to him about it sometime during the week, perhaps. For now, she just wanted to soak up the rest of her first day as his girlfriend.

All too quickly, dinner – consisting of a basic yet tasty tuna bake – came and went. As it had been the other times that they’d sat together on his couch, they had slowly managed to get closer and closer together. She’d hoped that perhaps Asher would make a move on her, but instead, he’d simply held her hand as they watched YouTube videos after dinner.

Just as she started to move to nestle herself closer into his shoulder, a message from Clare announced that she’d arrived to pick Lila up.

Reluctantly, Lila stood, collecting her bags. Asher paused the YouTube video that they’d been watching, his expression incredibly solemn.

“It… sounds stupid,” he murmured as she reached the door to the rumpus room. She turned to him, wondering what he was referring to.

“What sounds stupid?”

He grimaced before folding his arms against his chest. “It… sounds stupid that I wish you could stay over tonight. I know that we’ve got school tomorrow, but… I kinda wish we could skip it. Just spend tomorrow here again.”

Lila’s eyelids fluttered for a moment before she smiled at Asher. Asher never missed school if he could help it – but here he was, suggesting that they should skip it together.

“I wish I could stay too,” she responded truthfully. She looked towards the rumpus room door before sighing deeply. “But… I can’t.”

“I know,” Asher replied, running his hands through his hair, seeming frustrated with himself. “That’s why it’s stupid. I don’t even know why I said that.”

“I’m glad you said it,” Lila said, readjusting her bags. “Knowing you want me around… makes me feel happy.”

She felt her face heating up and curtly turned around, opening the door. Asher hurried after her, scooping her bags out of her hands.

“I’ve got it,” she insisted before looking at his determined face.

“I know you do,” he simply said, gently teasing the straps from her hands. “But… now that I’m your boyfriend… I can do all the things that I wanted to do for you, can’t I?”

Lila paused, a rush of butterflies beating their wings within her stomach. Then, she smiled.

“Thanks,” she murmured, watching as he pulled her bags onto his shoulders. He shot her a dazzling beam and her heart drummed in her chest, serving as the soundtrack for her descent down the stairs. He looked so pleased with himself – as though… nothing made him happier than to carry her bags. She’d never expected that he’d be so delighted to simply hold them for her.

Biting back her own beam, she passed the kitchen, calling out a cheery “Bye Marlene!” as she did so. Marlene quickly exited the butler’s pantry, smiling serenely at Lila.

“See you next time,” she said pleasantly. “Take care.”

“You too, Marlene,” Lila replied breezily. Her suspicion of Marlene hadn’t left her mind, but there was no point in addressing it now. Marlene inclined her head before returning to the pantry.

“What’s even in there?” Lila asked curiously as they continued to the front doors.

“In where?” Asher queried, punching in the security code.

“The butler’s pantry. I mean, I understand why Gabriel’s in there all the time, but why Marlene? Surely she’d only need to use the kitchen.”

“Ah. Well, there’s a small washing machine and dryer in there for tea towels and the like. Most of the kitchen tools she uses are in there, too, so once she finishes washing them, she puts them back where they belong. I also think she resets the pantry and replenishes anything that she’s used for Gabriel and cleans it all up.”

“I see… it sounds massive.”

Asher shrugged. “Perhaps? I mean, it’s bigger than your kitchen, sure. But I dunno about ‘massive’.”

Lila chuckled, putting her shoes on. “Looks like I’d have to take a look for myself.”

“If you want. But I assure you, it’s not very thrilling.”

“There’s a washing machine and dryer in your kitchen! That’s thrilling.”

Asher snorted and Lila laughed, indicating that she was speaking in jest. They exited the front doors, making their way to Clare’s car.

“Ah, here’s the happy couple,” Clare called after rolling down the passenger side window. “I hope you two haven’t gotten carried away.”

“Clare, stop it,” Lila replied shortly, opening the back passenger door. Asher placed her bags inside, seemingly ignoring Clare’s comment.

Clare pouted. “You’re no fun,” she whined before smiling brightly at Asher. “Good job, though, for finally getting it together and asking,” she said, directly meeting his eyes. “Whoa, you look like a lobster. What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing’s wrong,” Asher stuttered, stepping away from Clare’s car. Lila looked at him, before finding that his face was indeed as red as a lobster. What was he thinking about?

“Wha-” she tried to say before Asher quickly pulled her into a hug, completely tossing the question she’d been about to ask out of her mind.

“See you tomorrow,” he whispered in her ear, causing a shiver to roll through her body. He didn’t seem to notice as he gave her a gentle squeeze.

“S-See you tomorrow,” Lila squeaked, breaking away from the hug and just about diving into Clare’s car. Clare remained tight-lipped as Lila clipped her seatbelt across her chest. Once buckled in, Clare sweetly called “Bye!” before rolling the window up again.

Lila waved at Asher as Clare slowly pulled away from his mansion. Asher returned her wave, his face once again solemn – though still looking slightly pink.

“Lobster boy seems a bit defensive,” Clare chuckled as she rounded the corner. “You sure you didn’t get carried away?”

“Of course we didn’t,” Lila replied, looking towards her knees. “We kissed last night but I got too scared to kiss him again today.”

“Aww,” Clare cooed, glancing over at Lila with an adoring smile. “C’mon, tell me all about it.”

Lila launched into a retelling of the picnic set up, how he’d asked her to be his girlfriend, and the two kisses they’d shared. When she told Clare about Asher not wanting to keep it a secret, Clare squealed.

“He’s such a romantic! I never would’ve picked it,” she heartily laughed. “Good line, too. Surprised you could keep your hands to yourself.”

“Clare-”

“I’m glad, though,” Clare said seriously, cutting off Lila’s attempted admonishment. “I was worrying that you’d give in a bit too early. Like I said, I’m not ready to be an aunt.”

Lila sighed, deciding it was better not to respond. She wasn’t exactly wanting to run off and become a teen mum, either. There was silence in the car for a little while before Lila spoke.

“Well, did you have brunch with Alex?”

Clare nodded, seeming unable or unwilling to elaborate for a moment. Then, she gave a slow exhale and turned down her music entirely.

“We… talked. About us. I hope you’re proud of me, Lila. I was honest with him.”

“You don’t sound happy, though,” Lila replied gently. “Did… something bad happen?”

“No. But… I feel guilty as all hell.”

“You’re gonna need to give me more context, sis.”

“I know. It’s… just… well, I hate to say that you were right.”

“Well, that’s rude.”

Clare snorted before sighing. “He thought I was trying to end it. That’s why he was trying to avoid me. ‘Cause he didn’t want to hear me say it.”

“That sounds encouraging.”

“He… he said that me asking for a break almost tore his heart out. He’d… actually been planning to ask to be official, and then I asked for a break. So, he was really hurt, but since it wasn’t a ‘break up’, he was still hopeful… when he said he was thinking about one too… that had been a panic response from him, apparently. He didn’t want to push me, so he gave me space… and when I said I wanted to talk to him about us at the club, he said he was busy even though he wasn’t… ‘cause I spooked him. Like you said.”

“I… see.”

Clare flashed Lila a pained expression before looking back at the road. “I feel like such an idiot. I ran away from my feelings when… I wanted to run to them.”

“Did it work out, though? Are you guys together now?”

Clare nodded, though her eyes brimmed with tears. “I… asked if he wanted to be official, b‑before he told me all that stuff about how he was feeling. I kinda just… showed up there, we sat down, he asked if I wanted something to drink and I just… came out with it. He was so shocked he dropped the menu in his table water.”

Clare paused before continuing. “He asked me why. And I said that I really wanted to be exclusive with him. That… I’d been thinking about it all and I really liked him. Then… he gave me the saddest little smile and said, y’know, the stuff I mentioned. I thought he was gearing up to say no, but he must’ve seen that I looked worried ‘cause he said he’d been hoping that one day I’d be his. He’d actually spent all of last year, when I started working there, working up the courage to ask me out and when I’d made it clear that I was only looking for something casual in April, he went along with it… kinda reminded me of me, from way back when.”

“So… what’s there to feel guilty about?”

“Lila… why was I so stupid? I hurt him. I didn’t realise how bad it was until I saw him this morning. He looked really shaken, and trying to seem normal when we met up before we got to talking.”

“Did he understand why, at least?”

Clare pressed her lips together before giving a reluctant shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe?”

“I get why you feel guilty. But all you can do is make it up to him, really. I thought you’d be ecstatic that you’re together.”

“I am… but there’s this dark cloud looming over me. That maybe he doesn’t actually like me as much as it seems.”

“Is there a reason for that?”

“No,” Clare whispered. “This whole being vulnerable shit sucks. What if I misread something?”

“From what it sounds like, I reckon he thinks, or at least thought, the exact same thing.”

Clare looked over at Lila, her brow wrinkled in a classic tell that Clare was truly affected by something. “How do you figure?”

“He clearly thought your brunch was a breakup brunch,” Lila replied matter-of-factly. “Being vulnerable does suck, and I’m not perfect at it by miles but… I think you should probably have another chat with him about it. Iron out all the worries and fears.”

“It’d be so much easier to just have sex with him and be done with it,” Clare pouted. “It’s worked before, anyway.”

Lila gave a heavy sigh. “Not that I know what that’s like, but that sounds more like slapping a band-aid on a third-degree burn and calling it a day. Sure, it might look like it’s doing something, but you’re really avoiding treating the issue.”

“Dammit, Lila,” Clare whined. “Can’t you just… pretend I’m right?”

“I could, but then you’d come back and complain.”

“I hate it when you’re right.”

“I know.”

Clare fell silent, clearly deep in thought. She hadn’t turned the music back up, which meant that Lila had diverted her attention to her phone. She’d almost been too scared to look at her notifications and reactions to the news that she was dating Asher… but in the absence of anything else to do on the way home, she might as well.

Their post regarding their relationship status on Facebook had 182 reactions – far more than Lila had ever received in her life. Did she even have that many friends on Facebook? Or were they Asher’s? It was public – so perhaps others from school came across it, even if they weren’t connected to Lila or Asher.

There were far fewer comments to go through – most said congratulations, or some variant of it. A few ‘Finally!’ comments were peppered here and there, two being from Elise and Grace. Isaac lamented that he’d have to let go of his buddy, but if it was for the pursuit of happiness, it was a sacrifice he was willing to make. Asher had already replied to that one, calling Isaac dramatic with an eye-rolling emoji followed by a laughing one.

Lila reacted to all the comments she came across, including a particularly enthusiastic and emoji-filled one from Cecelia.

One comment gave Lila pause. It was from Theo and simply said ‘Cute’. She ‘liked’ it but chose not to respond. She felt a bit awkward – not only because she’d gone on a date with Theo a couple of months ago, but also because seeing his name viscerally reminded her of the morphine ring encircling the Grade 12s he was associated with.

Once she’d finished looking through the comments, she looked through who was part of the now 183 people who had reacted. As she’d suspected, most were people from school and family. But, to her surprise, the post had been love-hearted by Holly, of all people.

Holly hadn’t left a comment, and she wasn’t friends with Lila on Facebook – just Instagram. Was she still Facebook friends with Asher?

Lila clicked on Holly’s account. It was locked – meaning she couldn’t see anything at all. She went back and opened Asher’s Facebook profile. He had 42 friends on there – and Holly wasn’t any of them. Maybe… considering Holly had a lot of mutuals with Forestglade College students, it had popped up on her feed?

Lila contemplated locking down the relationship post to friends-only. It felt somewhat violating, in a way, that Holly had both seen and reacted to it despite not being friends with either Lila or Asher.

At the same time though… it was satisfying, knowing that Holly had seen it. It showed, at least, that Asher had moved on after she’d destroyed him. Lila briefly wondered if it hurt Holly, to see him moving on, but considered that Holly probably didn’t have the capacity to feel hurt over Asher. After all, she evidently hadn’t actually given a damn about him.

Though, considering he’d hidden his relationship with Holly for months, perhaps it did sting a little that Asher had announced his relationship with Lila so quickly.

‘Good,’ Lila thought with an edge of vindictiveness. Lila couldn’t hide that she hoped it hurt Holly, even though it wouldn’t be close to matching the hurt Holly had inflicted on Asher.

“Well, looks like we’re home,” Clare announced, parking the car. “Thanks, by the way.”

“For what?” Lila asked, returning to reality and unbuckling herself.

“For… well, helping me with Alex. At the very least, thanks for listening.”

“It’s only fair,” Lila grinned. “You helped me with Asher, after all.”

Clare returned Lila’s grin with one of her own. “Guess I did. Let’s get inside before we freeze out here.”