Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Three
The hallway was devoid of anyone besides Lila, who gingerly closed the front door behind her. She could still hear sobbing – undeniably coming from Clare – but at least there was no further shouting.
Lila slowly took her shoes off, leaving her bags and hat by the shoes, just out of the way of the front door in case Daniel was coming home soon. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do now, except to see what was happening.
Her Mum and Clare had previously had wall-shaking arguments over the years, but there was something so distinctly cold about the atmosphere that gave Lila pause. What did Clare do that made her Mum so angry? Whilst her Mum was certainly fiery to some extent, Clare could handle it – but this absence of fire was new. A knot of dread was forming in the pit of her stomach and she wondered if she should just tiptoe out of the house and take the bus somewhere – perhaps to Asher’s?
“LOOK AT YOU!”
Her Mum’s sudden scream made Lila stumble over the shoes in the hallway and topple over her bag, giving her presence in the house away with the clarity of a tolling church bell. There was no escape now.
Her Mum rushed out of the kitchen, her face devoid of any of the warmth and love that Lila had known her to possess, even in her worst moments.
“ARE YOU DOING THIS TOO?!” her Mum shrieked, thrusting her phone at Lila. “ARE YOU DISRESPECTING YOURSELF TOO?!”
Her Mum’s fury had made it impossible for Lila to see what was on it, though Clare’s sobs grew louder. Lila’s heart sank. Their Mum had found out about Clare’s job.
Before she could react, her Mum had charged towards her, grabbing hold of her wrist and dragging Lila towards the kitchen. She didn’t resist, her shock causing her to freeze more than anything else.
Clare was curled up on the kitchen floor, her body wracking with sobs. Lila couldn’t imagine a scenario where her Mum had hit Clare hard enough to reduce her to this – but with the strength her Mum had in her grip around Lila’s wrist, she had the sickening realisation that she couldn’t rule it out, either. Two of the chairs had toppled to their sides just in front of Clare. Had that been the noise? Had she been trying to get away from their Mum and fallen over them?
“Mum, what-” Lila attempted to say, but she was cut off by Clare’s whimper.
“Lila, just go.”
“You are not going anywhere,” her Mum snarled, tossing her phone down onto the kitchen table with a bang. This change in volume made the hairs on the back of Lila’s neck stand. “Do you know how shameful your sister has been?”
Was lying the best course of action? She’d never imagined seeing Clare – her older sister, defender of the family since Lila could remember – so helpless and defeated.
“N-No, she doesn’t know, Mum,” Clare spoke up, her words barely carrying to Lila. Lila closed her eyes, the shame at having such indecision in this moment almost consuming her. Of course Clare would continue to protect Lila, even when lying down on the floor, tears staining her cheeks.
“Clare-”
“I don’t believe that for a second,” their Mum growled, her eyes narrowed to slits as if focusing her eyesight to see through their lies better. “You know, don’t you Lila?”
Lila was rooted to the spot. Play dumb? Continue Clare’s attempted defence of Lila? Or… try and defend Clare – tell their Mum there was nothing wrong with what she was doing? That Clare loved her work? She’d hardly talked back to their Mum, since Clare always did that for her and Daniel. But, as she watched their Mum’s nostrils flare, Lila figured that, if she could talk their Mum down into explaining what was going on, perhaps the situation would resolve itself with clearer heads.
“K-Know what?” Lila stammered uneasily. Their Mum reached for her phone, opening it up again and jabbing it towards Lila. It was a clip of Clare, spinning around a pole on the dance floor of Gabriel’s nightclub, before she stopped, gyrating against it with a sparkling grin that mesmerised anyone who saw it. It seemed like another themed night – something winter related. Lila couldn’t tear her eyes off the video, which ended just as Clare sensually removed her blue and white crop top to reveal a bedazzled, silver push-up bra underneath to the beat of both the cheering chorus of what sounded to be at least twenty men and the EDM song blasting from the speakers. Once the video finished, Lila couldn’t help but feel quite glad that she hadn’t seen Roxy Wurld in action when she snuck in with Asher.
“Your sister is a pokpok,” their Mum’s voice had lowered to a whisper. “She’s not fit to be my daughter.”
“Do you actually mean that?” Lila’s anger suddenly flared in response, despite her plan of talking their Mum down, her jaw snapping shut at the last syllable. Though it took a moment to translate what her Mum meant, she knew that she’d just essentially called Clare a whore – something that Lila didn’t think any mother should call their child, no matter their profession. Saying that Clare wasn’t fit to be their Mum’s daughter was also a step too far. Clare was beloved and absolutely integral to this family. Being a dancer didn’t change that.
Their Mum seemed to falter, evidently having not expected Lila to challenge her. Even the sound of Clare’s sobbing stopped, as though she hardly dared to breathe. It was enough time for Lila to kneel next to Clare and push the hair out of her eyes, catching any remaining tears that still fell from them for a second or two.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Lila said quietly. “If Mum wants to be like this, she’s not fit to be our mother either. There’s nothing wrong with being a dancer, sis.”
Lila didn’t necessarily feel that way about their Mum – at least, not strongly – but she couldn’t help herself. Considering how distraught Clare was, and the fact that her Mum still continued on with her verbal assault, there was no way that her Mum was coming out of this unscathed either. The silence emanating from behind Lila as she helped Clare to stand let her know that her Mum had definitely heard what she said, which gave Lila a miniscule sense of satisfaction.
Clare inhaled deeply, her entire body trembling in Lila’s hands. Just how long had Clare borne the brunt of their Mum’s rage before Lila got home? She seemed so shaken, not just physically.
Lila began to lead her past their Mum, placing herself between their Mum and Clare as best she could.
“Lila, Clare-”
“Respectfully, Mum, save it. You’ve said enough,” Lila shot back, her eyes fixed on the exit. She led Clare out towards the stairs, unsure what to do. There was no way that Clare should stay here – at least, not for the next few hours. Since it was a Wednesday, it seemed unlikely that Clare had a shift, either. Should Lila send Clare to Alex’s?
“I… want to go grab my keys,” Clare murmured, wiping at her eyes. “And my phone. I’ll be a sec. Wait for me in the garage, okay?”
Lila didn’t hesitate this time. “Okay.”
She immediately turned around and shoved her feet back into her school shoes before heading through the internal door to the garage, slamming the door behind her as she did so. She winced slightly – she hadn’t quite meant to be that forceful.
She had lingering energy in her legs, which forced her to pace next to her parents’ car. What was their Mum thinking? Sure, Lila knew that their Mum wouldn’t be happy about Clare’s job – but this was far beyond not being happy. It almost seemed like… hatred.
Their Mum wouldn’t hate Clare for it, right? But Filipino culture, especially the one that their Mum had come from, was heavily influenced by the Catholics. Was that what was going on? A mismatch between what their Mum expected of Clare because of her culture and the realisation that Clare wasn’t following it?
But… when Lila asked her Mum about what she’d do if Lila accidentally got pregnant, she didn’t seem adverse to the idea of helping Lila get an abortion. That was definitely against the ideals of most Filipinos, as far as Lila was aware. Just how selective was she about this kind of thing?
Lila heard the door open from behind her and she stopped her pacing, bracing herself for the appearance of her Mum. Instead, it was a very subdued Clare, sidling in to the garage.
“Where do you want to go?” Lila asked softly. “Alex’s?”
Clare shook her head, her eyes looking more so at the floor than at Lila. She bit her lower lip for a split second before responding. “He’s in Melbourne for a Bucks party for one of his school mates.”
“During the week?”
Clare shrugged lethargically. “It’s a whole week trip. He… was really stoked to go. So I don’t want to tell him what happened just now, either. Not until he comes back.”
“Is there anyone else?”
Clare lifted her eyes to meet Lila’s. “I need to talk to Gabriel. He doesn’t usually work at the Club during the week. So… he should be at Asher’s, right?”
In a flash, Lila opened up her phone, dialling Asher’s number.
“Hey!” Asher’s voice sounded chirpy – far chirpier than when he’d left her at the bus stop. “I was just thinking about you.”
Lila made a mental note to call Asher more often after school, if only to hear how happy he sounded to hear from her. She quickly put it out of her mind for now as she said, “Asher, something’s happened. Can Clare and I come over?”
“Now?”
“Yeah.”
“What hap-”
“I… guess we’ll explain when we get there.”
“Is everything okay, at least?”
Lila eyed Clare, who was listlessly twirling her hair between her fingers as she waited for Lila to finish up. “Uh… I’ll need a couple business days to answer that one, I think.”
“I’ll tell Gabriel now to make extra food for dinner. I… I’ll see you soon.”
“See you soon.”
“Let’s go, then,” Lila said gently, putting her phone into her pocket. Clare nodded, her zombie-like shuffling worrying Lila greatly. Was Clare even in a good enough state to drive?
They climbed into Clare’s car, with Clare wavering for a moment. Then, instead of EDM, she put on a popular hits playlist on Spotify. They immediately took off with speed, Clare grasping the steering wheel so tightly that Lila thought she’d wrench it off.
They passed Daniel getting off the school bus and Lila contemplated asking Clare to slow down and pick him up. But, with how pallid Clare’s face was, Lila decided it wasn’t a good idea. At the very least, Daniel wouldn’t also be accused of being an adult entertainer. Besides, Lila was fairly certain that Clare wanted a place where she could speak freely, especially since Clare had previously said she hadn’t told her friends about her job. There’d be no way Clare would want to talk openly about what happened if Daniel was around.
Every so often, Lila chanced a peek at Clare as she wordlessly drove them to Asher’s. She was still pale, her eyes looking almost glazed over. She’d never seen Clare in a state like this. Just what happened before Lila got home?
Lila also wanted to know how their Mum had gotten a hold of that video. Ultimately though, both of these questions fell far behind the most important one of them all – was Clare okay?
Lila glanced at Clare again. Her expression hadn’t changed. The absence of any conversation pressed on, the dulcet tones of the latest song trending on TikTok serving as the soundtrack to their increasingly awkward car ride. After a few more minutes, Lila couldn’t take it anymore.
“Clare, are you okay?”
Lila noticed Clare’s grip on the steering wheel tighten even further. Instinctively, Lila reached out a hand and gently touched Clare’s arm. This seemed to relax Clare’s hold on both the steering wheel and her breath, which came out in a quivering exhale.
“No,” Clare admitted meekly, her voice thick with the aftereffects of crying. “I… it was worse than I imagined. Mum’s reaction.”
Lila kept her automatic “no kidding” comment to herself. Clare began to sniffle, but didn’t add anything else.
“Did… you want to talk about it now?” Lila asked after a few moments.
“I think I want to sit down first. My hands can’t stop shaking. I might crash.”
“Should you pull over?”
Clare shook her head. “Almost there. Should be fine.”
“Alright… well… be careful.”
“Have to be. My baby sis is in the car.”
“I’m not a baby.”
“Neither am I,” Clare muttered.
Lila decided not to comment, though she suspected that what Clare said was in reference to her interaction with their Mum than anything else.
They soon reached the driveway outside Asher’s house, with Clare pausing where she normally stopped along the side of his house.
“Should I… go in?” Clare queried, exchanging a bemused look with Lila.
“I don’t actually know. Oh, there’s Asher now,” Lila replied, gesturing to him as he approached from the front doors. He’d already changed into some casual clothes, his hands in his pockets. His eyes seemed wary as he gently rapped his knuckles against Lila’s window. She rolled it down.
“Mind if I jump in the back? It’ll be easier to show you where to park that way,” he said to Clare before briefly smiling at Lila. She attempted to smile back.
“Hop in,” Clare replied, her attempt at sounding cheery falling as flat as Lila’s smile.
He made no mention of either of their odd behaviours as he climbed in and closed the door. He directed Clare to the garage on the left side of the house without any discussion of anything else.
The roller door slowly opened and Asher identified an empty parking bay for Clare to park in.
“Holy shit,” Clare murmured incredulously as she pulled forwards. “Just how many cars can fit in here?”
“Not sure,” Asher responded nonchalantly. “Eight? Ten?”
“You never mentioned how big his garage is,” Clare said with a frown at Lila as she turned her car off.
“Never thought it was important,” Lila shrugged. “Is it important? Sounds like a euphemism. Plus, it’s kinda a random thing to bring up.”
“I get the feeling that you don’t understand just how rich your boyfriend’s family is,” Clare sighed.
“Am I supposed to?”
“Yes!” Clare insisted loudly.
“How rich is your family, Asher?” Lila asked, turning to look at him. His face was beet red as he unbuckled himself and stepped out the car.
“A bit,” he settled on saying as he opened Lila’s door.
“A bit?” Lila raised an eyebrow, now suddenly very curious.
“Well, Dad partly owns the Forestglade Private Hospital, as you know, as well as being the CEO of it. But that’s more of a family business thing. All of his generation got a major inheritance and they built up this family trust thingy with investment properties and stuff together, and I think my Dad has one or two outside of the trust, too.”
“Of course you’re a trust fund baby,” Clare sighed again as she closed her car door and locked it. Asher looked even more uncomfortable.
“I guess so,” he acquiesced. “But, I mean, my parents still work. So it’s not like they’re just taking it for granted.”
“That makes it sound like they don’t have to work if they didn’t want to,” Clare replied pointedly.
“… You’re not wrong.”
“Jesus, Lila. Glad you pulled your head out of your ass and decided to like him back.”
Lila felt her face flush. “Clare, that’s not why I like Asher.”
Clare waved a hand, appearing almost normal as she did so. “Clearly. You’d make for a terrible sugar baby.”
“Thanks,” Lila replied sarcastically. “Looks like I have to cross that one off my career goals. I’ll have to tell the Guidance Counsellor when I see him next.”
“Good. It’s my job as your sister to point out your shortcomings.”
“Thanks again,” Lila smiled genuinely. She was glad that Clare could manage to still tease her. Getting out the house was definitely a good idea. Asher didn’t add anything, instead leading them to the internal door and gesturing for them to head in, which they did so after taking their shoes off.
The smell of cooking chocolate immediately hit Lila in the face upon passing through the door. Gabriel’s humming floated alongside the scent, and Clare suddenly looked nervous.
“I don’t even know why I’m here,” Clare whispered urgently, the panic rising in her tone.
“You wanted to talk to Gabriel,” Lila reminded her. Lila noticed Asher glance back at them before he continued on towards the kitchen, apparently deciding to give them a private space to talk.
“It… sounded like a good idea at the time, but now that I’m here, I don’t want to,” Clare said after a few moments, with no hint that she recognised Asher’s departure from them.
“Then don’t,” Lila nodded. “It’s up to you. There’s no wrong answer here, but I do think you should talk to someone. Someone who knows, at least. And… now you’re in a house full of people who know.”
Clare swallowed audibly before smoothing down her hair. “Y-You’re right. God, I hate it when you’re right.”
“I’d say sorry, but I won’t stop.”
The fleeting ghost of a smirk crossed Clare’s face. Lila looped her arm in Clare’s.
“I’ll follow your lead, if you want to talk,” she said, pulling Clare along to the kitchen. The smell and humming only strengthened before the humming suddenly halted.
“Lila! Clare!” Gariel cried out, his tone as joyful as always. He stepped around the island bench, bustling towards them both.
“Hi Gabriel,” Lila smiled, squeezing Clare’s arm against her ribs. “You seem happy.”
“Always,” Gabriel beamed. It seemed to falter though when his eyes rested entirely on Clare. “Clare, is everything okay?”
She shook her head in response, immediately descending into tears. This sudden shift startled Lila, and she looked around to find a place for Clare to sit.
“The dining room,” Gabriel suggested, flapping his hands in that direction before hurrying into the butler’s pantry, his face full of worry. Clare stemmed the flow of her tears with a frustrated groan before they made their way to the dining room. Asher untucked chairs for both Lila and Clare before sitting next to Lila. Clare took several deep, shuddering breaths before she sat down at the head of the table, blinking rapidly.
Asher looked enquiringly at Lila and she simply shook her head. If Clare wanted to speak, then that was up to Clare. Besides, there was still a lot about what happened that Lila didn’t know.
Gabriel entered, armed with a jug of juice and an assortment of cookies and desserts on a serving plate. He left again but returned just as quickly with some small plates that he set before them.
“Things I prepared earlier,” he said warmly, pouring drinks for all of them. He sat across from Lila, so that he was close to Clare, and gestured for everyone to take something. Lila picked up a fudge brownie with walnuts. Clare and Asher selected their own desserts, but neither bit into them just yet.
“Now,” Gabriel’s voice was calm, though the worry Lila had seen moments ago still permeated his expression, “what’s wrong?”
Clare looked down at her hands before picking up her juice and taking a sip. She put it back down with a resigned sigh.
“Mum found out. About my job.”
Both Gabriel and Asher sat back in understanding.
“Ah,” Gabriel uttered sympathetically. “I take it she wasn’t overjoyed?”
Clare shook her head before wiping at her eyes again. “Not at all.”
Lila quietly sipped her own cup of juice, waiting for Clare to elaborate. Their eyes met and Clare sighed once more.
“Mum went apeshit,” Clare said simply, tracing the edge of her cup with her index finger. “I’d gone to get a snack in the kitchen just after she came back from seeing her Filipino friends. She was sitting at the table and… she asked if I had something to tell her. I said no. She immediately got angry – angrier than I’d seen in a while. Just straight to yelling about how I’m a liar and untrustworthy. I just stood there. I didn’t know what to say, ‘cause it’s not like it’s untrue. Usually, I don’t take it lying down when Mum starts a fight, but it just… she felt different. I can’t explain it. It felt all sorts of wrong.”
“I noticed it too,” Lila said quietly, holding the sides of her juice cup, her eyes locked on to Clare. Clare glanced at her before nodding.
“She asked me again if I had anything to tell her, but I didn’t answer her fast enough. She started screaming at me – that I was a whore, basically. That I shamed our whole family, and…” Clare paused, her eyes swimming with tears again. Lila couldn’t help but see Gabriel just ahead of her, looking absolutely guilty. Any and all joy he naturally seemed to possess seemed to have escaped like air deflating from a balloon.
“She just started screaming and yelling in Tagalog and English. I thought she’d run out of breath and then I could explain. Calm her down, or defend myself. But she didn’t. She didn’t let me speak. Instead, she went on and on about me having sex for money, like a cheap mutt-”
Lila took a sharp, involuntary breath. In most places around the world, being compared to dogs was a horrible insult, but it cut much deeper being half-Asian. She’d lost count the amount of times she’d received comments from people on either side of her identity alluding to her being a “mutt” or otherwise not “purebred”, and therefore worth less.
Lila felt Asher take her hand in his, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from her sister, who continued on with a pained expression.
“Eventually, I tried to tell her – yell over her – that I’m a dancer, and that I don’t have sex with clients, but she just didn’t want to listen. She asked if I was mocking disgracing our family for fun, because I didn’t care about our parents or you or Daniel, especially because we’re not poor. She then went on about how she couldn’t believe I was her daughter, and how dare I do all of that while living under her roof. It felt like she had a megaphone to my eardrums.” Clare took another moment to collect herself, her eyes unfocused as they rested upon her cup of juice.
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“I remember her saying that no one would ever l-love me. That I was used and tarnished. Then… she showed me the video. I couldn’t believe Mum actually saw me like that, and the realisation made me panic. She kept looking at me like I was a stranger or even worse – scum on the bottom of her shoe. She kept playing and playing the video over again, right up to my eyes, and I tried to get away, going backwards. It’s all a bit fuzzy from there. I think I fell over some chairs or something. When I was on the ground, I just couldn’t stop crying. It was so hard to breathe. I think if you hadn’t come home then, I would’ve had a full-blown panic attack.”
Clare’s recount was worse than Lila could have imagined. None of it sounded like their Mum at all. If she hadn’t seen for herself the tail end of it, she might’ve thought Clare was lying.
The energy in the dining room was incredibly tense, broken only when Clare added in a robotic voice, “I was surprised that Mum asked if you were doing it too.”
The hand around Lila’s twitched, and she met Asher’s stunned eyes for the first time since Clare started telling them what happened. His expression was shocked beyond belief and Lila was starting to feel exhausted after all that heightened emotion. She took a moment to rub her forehead before sighing.
“Yeah. Same here. I’m glad she didn’t get a hold of those photos,” Lila finally said, her attempt at a joke amusing no one.
“Photos?” Asher blinked at her.
“The ones Piper put up in the boys’ bathrooms. Calling me a ‘whore for hire’ and giving out my phone number.”
“Jesus,” Asher hissed, bringing his free hand to his mouth. “I can’t believe I forgot about those.”
“Don’t worry about it. I had too, actually, until Mum asked that.”
Clare’s face suddenly turned a sickly green shade. “Lila, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her eyes as wide as golf balls. “Mum might find them.”
“Huh?!” Lila stood up, panic flooding through her, crashing in her stomach. “The fuck do you mean?!”
Clare began to tremble again, her eyes wet with fresh tears.
“When I showed you the stack I took from Daniel’s room, I put them in my bag and forgot all about them. I’d… been more worried about you yelling at me… for the things I said about Asher.”
“Oh for the love of God,” Lila groaned, placing her head in her hands, her heart rate accelerating with fear. If her Mum had reacted to Clare like that, even though all she saw was Clare dancing, how would she react to a picture saying Lila was a whore for hire and giving out her actual phone number?
“Well, uh, for the record, I don’t know what you said about me, but if the photos are in a bag, surely she won’t find it?” Asher piped up. Both sisters looked at him before simultaneously giving short, sarcastic laughs.
“She goes into our rooms from time to time to ‘tidy’. I know for a fact that she peeks. I’d been careful to hide things, since she doesn’t seem to snoop too hard… so the bag itself is hidden. But… after tonight, I’d assume she’s tearing both our rooms apart to find evidence of us being sex workers,” Clare said darkly.
“I’m sure-”
“If Mum finds them, she might recognise that it’s Asher in the photos,” Lila despaired, cutting Asher off. “She’s going to be mad at him, too.”
“I’m afraid I don’t think I know what photo you’re talking about,” Gabriel interjected quietly. Lila jumped. She’d almost forgotten he was there in her distress.
“I… think I took a picture of it,” Lila said, grabbing her phone. She scrolled through her camera roll, looking for the beginning of the year, when everything went down. She found it a few moments later, passing her phone across the table to Gabriel. He took it and once he saw what was on it, closed his eyes.
“That’s… definitely Asher, even if I can’t see his face,” he said, passing the phone back and opening his eyes again. They seemed much older now, as though their conversation had aged him. She sat down again as he asked, “You said someone at school put them up in the boys’ bathrooms?”
“That girl who got murdered,” Lila began, her brows furrowed, “she… was basically stalking Asher.”
“I know that much,” Gabriel replied with a nod. “From the Police interview.”
“Ah. Well, I’m sure you know where this was taken,” Lila said uncomfortably. Gabriel nodded again.
“For some reason, she thought that she could make me stop hanging out with Asher or something if she just spread rumours about me, and basically ruined my reputation with these. She put them up in the boys’ bathrooms – all of them – and I’d gotten calls and texts from all these random guys at school, trying to… well. I’m sure you can guess.”
“I see. Without any other context, I don’t have high hopes that your mother will be… amenable to an explanation, if she does find it,” Gabriel said tentatively. Lila groaned again, placing her head on the table, using her arms as cushions.
“I’m really sorry, Lila,” Clare mumbled again. Lila looked up at her sister and shook her head.
“You didn’t know any of this would happen. Especially back in Term One when it all went down,” Lila said softly. “I know you didn’t keep them to be malicious.”
More silence followed Lila’s comment. Then, Gabriel spoke.
“Clare, would you like to quit? I’d be happy to give you redundancy, and anything else you need.”
“Gabriel, I didn’t come here to quit,” Clare said firmly, wiping at her eyes again. “No matter what Mum says, I love my job. I’m not just saying that ‘cause you’re the owner. It… it’s given me so much freedom, and even self-love, funnily enough. I feel more confident, and I’m surrounded by amazing coworkers.”
“Including Alex?” Gabriel smiled sagely.
“W-What about him?” Clare stammered.
“I know you two are together. No need to hide it,” Gabriel replied genially. “For the record, you’re not tarnished or unlovable. You managed to find a partner at Coolisimo.”
Clare herself smiled – the first Lila had seen since coming home from school. “I know. I… well. Lila could tell you all about it, but I had been so scared about that. That no guy would want me, because of my job. But I worked through that… at least, I thought I did. Now that Mum’s brought it all up again… I am starting to doubt myself.”
“Alright, Clare, how about this,” Gabriel said, leaning forward, his face earnest. “I’ll change the roster for this week, and next if you’d like me to. Take some time, after all this. Don’t worry about Coolisimo, and don’t worry about pay. I’ll still make sure you get paid.”
“Gabriel-”
“I’m being firm on this. One week, at the minimum,” his voice had suddenly shifted to an authoritative one that Lila hadn’t heard before. “That sounded entirely traumatic.”
Traumatic. Lila glanced at Clare once again. Talking about it had seemed to relieve her somewhat, but Gabriel was right. With Clare’s paraphrasing, it sounded awful – but actually being subjected to it?
Clare took a few moments before apparently relenting with a nod. “Since… it’s the boss’ decision,” she murmured, squeezing her hands together beside her cup.
Gabriel looked as though he was about to say something else when a beeping sound from the kitchen interrupted him.
“The dessert is demanding that I tend to it,” he declared with another smile. It was nowhere near as brilliant as Lila had known them to be, but he left without another word.
Clare picked at her nailbeds, seeming to be subconsciously careful not to ruin her manicure.
The remaining trio didn’t speak, all evidently contemplating what had transpired. Lila still felt uneasy about the fact that the pictures of her outside Asher’s were somewhere in Clare’s room. Gritting her teeth, she took a deep, calming breath. She tried to collect herself, but for some reason, it made her fears even more vibrant.
“Could… we ask Daniel to grab the bag? Or the photos, at least?” Lila asked in a small voice.
Clare bit her lower lip. “I put it with all my dance stuff. Like, my show bras and stuff. I… could ask, but it’s so suspicious and I’m still processing that Mum knows, let alone try to think of what to say to Daniel. I mean, I’m talking, like, glitter, rhinestones, sheer-”
“It’s alright,” Lila interjected quickly, shaking her head. “I… just hope we’re wrong about Mum going through our rooms.”
Not that she had more than a sliver of hope for that.
“I’m so sorry,” Clare whispered again. “I dragged you into this-”
“You didn’t drag me anywhere. I just walked into it. Stop feeling guilty for something you didn’t do. Especially not on purpose.”
“But Mum’ll be mad at you, too.”
“She’d be mad regardless. Did you hear what I said to her before we left?”
Clare sighed, taking a long sip of her juice.
“… Thank you, Lila,” Clare said after setting her cup back down. “It… I did hear. I got scared when she turned to you, but I couldn’t say anything. I lost my voice, somehow.”
“I’ll be honest, Clare, it freaked me out that you weren’t fighting back. But… since you weren’t, I had to do what you couldn’t in the moment. I can be your defender, too, even if it doesn’t seem like it.”
Clare gave her a watery smile, downing the rest of her juice. She put her empty cup down before looking back at Lila. “I saw.”
Lila returned her smile, drinking her own cup. Then, a new thought occurred to her – one that made her curiosity tick.
“How did Mum even get the video anyway?”
Clare’s eyes flickered to Lila’s before she clasped her hands together again. “She… well, she was shouting about how embarrassing and shameful it was to be told her daughter is a degenerate whore at lunch with her friends.” Clare gave a hollow laugh before carrying on. “I’m pretty sure she said it was fucking Tim Rodriguez’s mother who showed her.”
Lila wrinkled her nose. Tim was always awful. He was the son of Lillian Rodriguez and because he was Clare’s age, they had always been grouped with him at gatherings. Even as a kid, he’d been sexist and generally insufferable, suffering from the hubris of being a ‘pure Filipino’ boy, which meant Lila, Clare, and even Daniel when he was old enough had spent much of a gathering running away from Tim. He’d also seemed to have an odd fixation on Clare, too – if they were incidentally together, he’d always call her some iteration of freak.
“So, the worst person to find you spinning around a pole in a nightclub,” Lila commented despondently.
“And exactly one who would run right to Mummy,” Clare added, her town spiteful. She bit aggressively into a cookie. “Fucking dickhead.”
“And I’m guessing not a single comment was made about the fact that he was in a nightclub,” Lila rolled her eyes.
“Of course not,” Clare replied. “What, a pharmacy student can’t blow off some steam in a nightclub?”
“I bet he had some sick satisfaction when he saw you, too.”
“I didn’t see him at the time, so I’m glad I didn’t see his expression when he figured out it was me. I think this was taken on Saturday, and his Mum probably held on to it until she could confront Mum with it in person, in front of everyone else.”
Lila couldn’t refute this idea, either. As bad as Tim was, he was definitely his mother’s child. The two sisters fell silent once more, with Lila increasingly getting annoyed at the reminder of Tim’s existence.
“Well… Gabriel hasn’t come back,” Asher said after a few seconds. “So… did you guys want to play a game, or something?”
Lila perked up immediately. A game sounded perfect – and it might help distract Clare, too.
“Yeah,” she said, standing up. “Come on, sis.”
Clare stood as well, her expression curious. Asher swiftly popped his head into the butler’s pantry before meeting up with Lila and Clare once more and leading them up to the rumpus room.
“Uh, I guess you could say that this is my wing of the house,” Asher said awkwardly before opening the door to the rumpus room and gesturing for them to enter.
“Jesus,” Clare breathed, peering into the room before stepping through the doorway. “Your wing? How big is this place?”
Asher exchanged a look with Lila before shrugging. “Big?”
“You must’ve been laughing when you came over to ours the first time,” Clare shook her head.
“Definitely not,” Asher replied, gesturing to the couch. He gave Clare a brief rundown of the layout before closing the door.
“You have this massive section of the house all to yourself and you’re allowed to close the door with a girl over?” Clare asked incredulously, settling into a spot on the couch. “That seems dangerous.”
“Dangerous how?” Lila asked, taking her normal spot on the couch. She heard Asher cross the room to the kitchenette and take some cups out.
Clare raised an eyebrow. “You need me to spell it out?”
Lila tried to think about what Clare was trying to insinuate but was coming up empty. They’d always hung out behind closed doors, even when they were preparing their English presentation in Asher’s library.
“Well, I got the answer I wanted,” Clare laughed. “All I’m saying is that I’m surprised you have the self-control to remain virgins.”
Lila heard a cup clatter across the counter but she didn’t want to look at Asher to see his expression. Lila flushed immediately, her chest feeling constricted with embarrassment. She felt like they’d been close, at least once, to losing their inhibition here, but she wasn’t about to tell Clare that. Why did Clare have to bring that up now? With Asher here?
“I mean, w-we might not be,” Lila said, avoiding Clare’s gaze now too.
“Shit,” she heard Asher mutter under his breath as yet another cup connected loudly with the counter.
“You so are,” Clare asserted. “Don’t worry. It’s cute. Anyway, what games do you have, Asher?”
Asher sounded entirely relieved that the conversation had changed to something else.
“You can browse what we have on the Switch, but we’ve got the classics, like Mario Party, and all that.”
“We? Sounds like you’ve made yourself right at home, Lila. He’s already saying ‘we’ like you own his stuff, too.”
“Clare, don’t be an idiot. He means his family-”
“I didn’t,” Asher interjected, divvying out the cups of juice that he’d finally managed to pour for them. “There’s consoles for everyone to use down in the living room. Those are for the family.”
Clare gave a sound of satisfaction as she sat back, looking up at the TV. Lila wasn’t exactly sure what to say in response, her brain having short-circuited. We? Was that a step up? Did his word choice actually mean what Clare said?
Asher grabbed three sets of controllers and they browsed through the Switch’s offerings, though Lila couldn’t focus on any of them. Eventually, Clare picked Mario Party, and they played through a couple of rounds, with Clare absolutely throttling them both, before the intercom buzzed, scaring the daylights out of Clare.
Asher snickered as he crossed the room. It was Gabriel, calling them down for dinner.
“That’s convenient,” Clare commented as they made their way downstairs.
“It is – but sometimes if it needs servicing, it just makes this annoying buzzing sound constantly,” Asher explained as they reached the landing. He led them to the dining room again, finding a serving dish of chicken thigh pieces cooked in what smelt like a garlic and thyme sauce, surrounded by a bed of roasted vegetables. A separate serving dish of steaming rice sat beside it and plates were set up.
“This smells delicious,” Clare said with a light sniff. “Like, wow.”
“Gabriel’s cooking is amazing,” Lila smiled. “Has he ever cooked at the nightclub?”
“Definitely not, my dear,” Gabriel laughed, holding a jug of homemade iced tea. “I told you before, being a chef in a restaurant setting gives me the heebie-jeebies. I’d fold in a second.”
“What Gabriel said,” Clare replied, taking a seat.
Marlene sailed in a moment later, armed with salt and pepper. Clare’s eyes nearly popped out of her head.
“Marlene?!” she gasped.
“Hello, Clare,” Marlene nodded, a pleasant smile on her face. “Good to see you.”
“Yeah, yeah, but why are you here too?” Clare whipped her head to Gabriel, as though he held the answers. Which, to be fair, he did.
“I work here part-time as the maid,” Marlene replied matter-of-factly. “Eat, it’ll get cold.”
Clare seemed as though she had far more questions to be answered, but obediently started dishing her food. Lila exchanged an amused look with Asher, and they dug in as well. Gabriel and Marlene took their seats not a moment later, and all was silent for a while until Asher spoke.
“Did you guys want to stay the night?” he asked, sipping his iced tea. “The spare room-”
“Is made up,” Lila grinned. “I know.”
Asher chuckled in response.
“I don’t know what kind of in-joke that is, but I don’t think we should stay,” Clare replied after swallowing roughly. “I’m just hoping to get home after Mum goes to bed. Plus, Lila doesn’t have her school stuff, and… we need to look for some things.”
Asher nodded in understanding, but Lila could detect a hint of forlornness.
“At least we’re going on our date tomorrow,” Lila said in an attempt to cheer him up. It worked, with his eyes changing to ones reflecting excitement rather than despondence.
“We sure are,” he said excitedly.
“Did you want me to bring a change of clothes?”
“Up to you, if that’s more comfortable. I was thinking that if we want as much time as possible at the shops, we should go straight away, though. So I won’t be.”
Lila nodded – it sounded reasonable.
“What’re you doing on your date tomorrow?” Clare asked conversationally.
“Hanging around the shops, mainly,” Asher replied, a faint hint of pink on his cheeks. “Spontaneity and all that.”
“Ah,” Clare uttered, her eyes full of mischief. “Spontaneity.”
“Anyway,” Lila interjected before anyone could think too hard about spontaneity between herself and Asher, “what’s your plan from here on out?”
Clare glanced at Marlene, who seemed more absorbed in her food than on what anyone else was doing. “Well, Gabriel told me I can’t work for a week… so I guess I was going to see my friends, and Alex when he gets back. Maybe get started on some Uni assignments that I’ve been neglecting.”
“Thrilling,” Lila snorted sarcastically.
“Very,” Clare replied just as sarcastically.
Dinner proceeded with some more light-hearted banter shared between Lila and Clare, with Lila quite glad that food seemed to have revived her sister’s spirit somewhat. They were definitely related in that regard, at least.
Once dinner was over, Gabriel brought out a decadent chocolate cake, explaining that this was what he’d been making when Clare and Lila arrived. It had a coffee undertone and even felt healing with its perfect ratio of airiness and delectable substance.
With thanks to the chef, Lila, Asher and Clare retreated once more to the rumpus room. This time, no one was in the mood to play. Clare instead opted to scroll on her phone, and Lila checked hers. She turned her eSim on once again, making sure to keep her phone well away from Clare. After a few minutes of the eSim connecting with her phone and no new messages, Lila decided to call it there. Zack hadn’t yet made a decision.
Lila passed her phone to Asher, who simply nodded in acknowledgement. He took out his school-issued laptop from the laptop bag next to the coffee table and began working on an assignment. Lila and Clare continued to lounge until Lila had another question that worried her.
“When do you think Mum will go to bed?” she queried in a hushed voice. Clare glanced at Lila.
“Knowing Mum? Probably won’t sleep tonight. But she’ll lock herself in her room at about 9, if she hasn’t already.”
Lila pursed her lips. “Are you sure you don’t want to quit dancing at the nightclub?”
Clare gave a heavy sigh, one that seemed to convey a million and one emotions.
“It sounds like it’d be the easiest solution. Not like I can take back what she’s seen, and how long I’ve worked for already, but… to avoid future problems, quitting would help. At the same time though, I really don’t want to. Plus, it would mean that Mum won. And I don’t want that either.”
Lila caught sight of Asher looking as though he wanted to say something, but he refrained.
“If it wasn’t such a fun job, and if I didn’t choose to do it because I wanted to, rather than being forced to by circumstance, I probably would quit. There’s some moments, here and there, that can get a bit dicey, but seriously – Gabriel is a great boss. Straightens everything out and protects us. Like now, I guess, since he told me to have a break.” Clare huffed. “I’d just finished the fittings for this weekend’s special event, too.”
Clare paused before sighing again. “I… know I have to talk to Mum again. Apologise for being a dancer. But I’m not sorry. She just doesn’t get it. I’m not just selling myself. I’m using my body, sure, but pole is really hard work. It keeps me fit, and I get a shitton of cash. More than the average Uni student, anyway. It’s fun, and knowing I can get a certain rise out of guys because of how I move…” She eyed Lila carefully before looking towards the black TV screen. “It’s a power trip. I don’t dance just for male attention, don’t get me wrong. It is an amusing bonus - when they behave. I swear, some of them treat me like some kind of idol. Girls are generally better about it though.”
She stretched her arms above her head as she continued. “Being able to be Roxy is something I didn’t think I was good enough for, in the beginning. I hadn’t really been keeping up with dance or cheer at Uni, so I thought I’d fail, be sad that even a nightclub didn’t want me, then cry about it for a bit. But I didn’t fail. It was… exhilarating. Even if it doesn’t make Mum or Dad happy, I’m happy, you know? It’s weird ‘cause… I know logically it is shameful, I don’t want to tell my school or Uni friends about it, sure, but I dunno. I don’t personally feel ashamed by it, especially when I get out there and perform. Besides, something about keeping secrets is kinda exciting, too. Know what I mean?”
Lila shifted uncomfortably. “Y-Yeah, I guess so.”
Clare looked at Lila shrewdly. “Sounds to me like it’s more than a guess.”
“Well, I haven’t said anything to anyone about sneaking into a nightclub with Asher,” Lila said hurriedly. ‘Or anything else,’ she added privately.
Clare leaned forward, her lips twitching in a way that seemed she was suppressing a smile. “You know, I never bought your dumb story about why you guys were in the nightclub,” Clare said. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, but I’ve never heard either of you talking about parties or drinking. Why’d you just full send it to a nightclub with dancers?”
Lila had run out of quick thinking. At the time, they’d been trying to figure out why Marlene had gone into Coolisimo during closing hours when they followed her.
Suddenly, something occurred to Lila that almost made her gasp. She’d wondered about how Marlene had gotten home so quickly – but with the amount of cars under Coolisimo, and the amount of garage space at Asher’s, perhaps Marlene borrowed one of Gabriel’s cars. It still didn’t answer why Marlene was at Coolisimo in the first place, particularly as Marlene had just finished a shift and could’ve simply walked home, but Lila still felt that she’d just fit one piece of the puzzle together.
Maybe Marlene had to help with something in the nightclub but received an alert about the person lurking around Asher’s house. Even in that scenario, it was still crazy to Lila that Marlene’s solution was to specifically drive from the City and attack him herself, instead of calling the Police or the security company that looked after their house, if they had access to one. Lila was pretty sure some camera companies looked after houses and alerted their internal security or the Police to suspicious activity for a nominal fee – which would be no object to the Wagners-
“Uh, Earth to Lila. You’ve got this really weird expression,” Clare said, waving a hand in front of Lila’s face. “It’s like you’ve worked something out, but I don’t know why it’s related to sneaking into Coolisimo. Did you not even know why you were there in the first place?”
Lila saw Asher shoot her a look in her peripheral vision before he interjected.
“Like I said back then, it was for me. I was really upset at the time, and I told Lila about the fact that I noticed Gabriel would go out at night, and we both got really curious. We went to see where we would go.”
It was a lame excuse – one that Clare would surely see through.
“Plus, I really did want to take Asher to get dinner in the city,” Lila added, though by the dubious expression on Clare’s face, she believed that even less.
“Were… you guys getting up to shady stuff while Asher had a girlfriend?”
“Definitely not,” Lila snapped. Clare raised her hands defensively.
“Sorry. I’m just saying, if my boyfriend was casually hanging out with a girl, dressed like that, to ‘get dinner at a nightclub’, I’d think he’s trying to cheat on me. Don’t look at me like that, yes I know where I work and where Alex works. We do have some sense of decorum over there, you know, especially about relationships since they can be hard to come by. Different when you’re going out in your own time, versus being on shift or hanging around after work. Especially so if it’s a one-on-one hangout in either case.”
Lila wasn’t quite sure she understood the nuance, but with how passionately Clare talked about it, she’d just take her word for it.
A knock sounded on the door and Asher opened it, revealing a worn-out looking Gabriel.
“I’m finishing up here for the evening, but I wanted to chat with you some more, Clare. Boss to employee. I’m worried about you.”
Clare hung her head.
“I promise it won’t be long, unless you’d like it to be. I’ll even fix you up a hot chocolate downstairs.”
“You gotta go,” Lila insisted. “Best you’ll ever have.”
Gabriel chuckled, his usual shine returning to his eyes for just a moment.
“I’ll make sure to make you one too, Lila. I might not come up to deliver it, though.”
“That’s fine,” Lila beamed. “Intercoms are great for that.”
“They are,” Gabriel smiled, gesturing at Clare to follow him. She did so, though her body language oozed reluctance.
Clare gently closed the door behind her and Lila gave a heavy exhale, placing her head in her hands. She heard Asher shuffle closer before sitting right against her and felt his warm hand on her shoulder. It was delicate enough to almost make her cry.
“I know you’re more worried about Clare than yourself – but are you okay?” His voice was just as warm as his touch, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest and softly caressing her cheek as he waited for a response.
“I’m okay,” she mumbled against his chest. She felt his arms stiffen and she could tell that he knew it was a lie.
“C’mon,” he said, kissing the side of her head. “Let me in? Even just a little.”
She pressed herself closer to Asher, contemplating how she could answer him. What was she feeling, besides exhausted?
“… Like Clare said, Mum was really different,” Lila finally said with an involuntary sniffle. “I was only there for the very end. Clare was on the floor, crying, and Mum just… didn’t care. She asked if I was doing it too, and she just seemed so cold. I… I don’t know what to think about Mum anymore.”
Asher gave a small breathy sigh, his arms relaxing around her. “I see.”
Lila fell quiet, soaking in the hug. It made her feel a lot better, feeling him care for her in this way, even if she didn’t know what was going on with her mind.
“Other than that, I’m really not sure. I think I’ll need a day or two to figure it out. Especially after I see Mum again.”
“Well, I’m here to help, if you need me to,” Asher said softly. “It’s… shit that it happened, but at least we’re going out tomorrow. Get your mind off of it. Enjoy a small reward for your English work. I know it was a slog for you.”
Lila smiled, though he couldn’t see. “Yeah.”
They continued to sit like this for a while until the intercom buzzed. It was Gabriel, requesting they retrieve their hot chocolates.
They headed downstairs, hand in hand, and were about to head back up with their hot chocolates when Clare called them back.
“I think it’s time to go home, Lila. After you drink that.”
Was it that late already? Sure enough, when Lila checked the time, it was almost 8.30pm.
“Are you still talking with Gabriel?” Lila asked, retreating to the dining room to see where Clare was. She was sitting with Gabriel, one hand against her mug.
“Yeah. But… we won’t be long.”
“Alright.”
Lila shuffled back towards Asher who nodded at her.
“You know, I haven’t taken you to the living room,” he said conversationally, blowing on his mug of hot chocolate. “I just realised that today.”
“I mean, it doesn’t feel like there’s much living in there,” Lila joked as she blew on her own.
“That’s true. It’s more for guests, really. But, when Mum’s here, sometimes we hang out in there after dinner. Just haven’t… for a while.”
He was quiet for a moment before giving Lila a half-smile. “It’s this way.”
They walked past the dining room once more and walked alongside it down an expansive hallway. At the end was a set of closed double doors. Asher pushed them open and revealed an airy-looking living room with a massive TV along the back wall and a plush-looking light-grey couch that lined the front wall and a little of the right. Beside each side of the TV sat display cases, mostly of Swarovski crystals, books, and antique-looking decorations. Underneath was a TV cabinet that looked to be stowing away the family consoles Asher mentioned, and between the couch and the TV was a colourful mosaic rug, upon which was a glass coffee table much like the one in Asher’s rumpus room.
“Take a seat,” Asher said, pointing to the couch. She perched herself on the edge, trying to take it all in. It looked rather untouched.
They sipped their hot chocolates in silence, with Lila still contemplating her feelings on the whole situation. She couldn’t land on a firm position just yet, but she might figure it out by tomorrow.
Asher looked over at her every now and then, having sat next to her, but he seemed to be giving her space to think. She appreciated this but was beginning to think that she’d rather appreciate hearing his voice again, when she realised her hot chocolate had been drunk.
“Aw,” she sighed, looking down at her empty cup. “Looks like I’m done.”
“Let’s go back to the kitchen, then,” Asher suggested, taking her cup from her hands. “Before they start to wonder where we went.”
They returned, with Lila catching the sound of chairs scraping the tiles. Clare must’ve finished her conversation with Gabriel. They passed the dining room again, with Lila seeing Clare nodding at Gabriel, before making their way to the kitchen. Marlene was by the sink now and accepted their empty cups, rinsing them briefly.
Lila had just barely thanked Marlene when Clare appeared behind her.
“Time to go,” she said softly, nudging Lila’s shoulder.
“I’ll open the garage for you,” Asher said quickly. He followed them after they said their goodbyes to Gabriel and Marlene, opening the door for them both. Lila put her shoes back on, almost falling over herself from her tiredness before Asher steadied her balance.
“Careful,” he murmured. “Don’t hurt yourself.”
“I’ll try not to,” Lila replied with a small smile.
“Good. Uh… well, there’s a button just by the door… so… I guess this is goodnight,” he said somewhat awkwardly. Lila took his hand, squeezing it gently.
“Goodnight,” she said softly.
“Goodnight. And goodnight to you too, Clare,” he called to Clare’s retreating back. She waved before hopping in and starting her car.
Lila was about to follow Clare when Asher pulled her back. She looked up at him, curious as to what else he wanted, before feeling his lips on hers. A goodnight kiss. How could she have forgotten?
They parted a few moments later, with Lila’s heart pounding in her ears. She hurried to Clare’s car, noticing her bright red cheeks in her reflection on Clare’s windows, and jumped in, buckling her seatbelt.
“Welcome,” Clare said with a grin. “I can see you didn’t want to leave.”
“No,” Lila admitted as Clare began to drive out of the open garage doors. “Definitely not.”
“Sorry. I would’ve said yes, but I didn’t want to make Mum even more mad.”
“It’s fine, sis. I really needed my school stuff anyway. Plus, it’s not like I have clothes or anything at his.”
Clare looked shocked. “You should start on that. With a house like that, I’m sure his closet has enough space for you.”
“That’s intruding.”
“If you were breaking in and doing it, maybe,” Clare laughed. “You’re his girlfriend. It’s part of the privilege.”
Lila didn’t respond, turning her head instead to look out the window. Clare didn’t seem to want to speak any further either, as she drove them through the neighbourhood, turning up her EDM tracks ever so slightly.
Lila noticed, as Clare crept the car up the driveway, that their house was dark on both floors. It most likely meant that their parents had gone to bed, but Lila was still anxious about the possibility of an appearance from their Mum, demanding to know where they went, and to otherwise continue the argument.
Clare and Lila tiptoed inside, with Lila making a mental note that her school bags were still by the shoes, looking relatively untouched. There was no sound in the living room, and passing by it Lila couldn’t see anyone on the couch.
Up the stairs they went, with Lila feeling more fatigued with each step. She might collapse if she didn’t make it to her room immediately.
So, she was slightly annoyed when she tried to do so but was thwarted due to Clare pinching the sleeve of her school dress.
“Just… come help me find the bag,” she whispered, slowly opening her bedroom door. “I know you won’t sleep if you don’t know what happened to it.”
Clare was right, of course. Lila wouldn’t have.
But, upon seeing the state of Clare’s room, Lila was pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to sleep for other reasons.
It had been almost ransacked, the chaos of Clare’s things being opened or otherwise strewn about. Her closet was rifled heavily rifled through, and mounds of heels had been pulled out and clearly inspected. The show bras that Clare had said were with the bag she’d hidden the photos in were all over the floor, as if their Mum had thrown them there with fury.
“No,” Clare groaned, moving towards her bed. More of her things were there, like makeup and notebooks, but one particular bag stood out. It was the only one that was in an inside-out state, and Clare grabbed it, looking back at Lila in despair.
“She found them. She found the photos.”