Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Eight

Lila felt that she’d been hit by a truck when she awoke on Sunday morning. The whiplash of emotions that she’d gone through yesterday, and would undoubtedly need to prepare for next week, had kept her in a state of sleep-limbo – not entirely asleep, but not entirely awake, either. She didn’t even have seeing Asher to look forward to, since she’d rejected hanging out with him today.

‘Why am I such an idiot?’ she thought, curling up into a ball on her bed. Seriously. Who rejected hanging out with their boyfriend because they were too… sexually pent up?

But… then again… she’d had this impression, from bits of gossip and chatter here and there, that boys were just… sex-crazed maniacs at this age.

She recalled Theo’s suggestion, about hooking up if she wanted to on their date. He’d opened the door for that so soon on their first date. If only she had more frames of reference, but… well, Cecelia and Lucas had started the same night they got together. It also sounded like Willow was the one who controlled when she and Damian started, given how nervous she said she was. With that… was there any guy who actually waited, besides Asher, when their partner was willing?

Was there something wrong with her after all – something Asher didn’t like?

She sighed, looking directly at the hiking bag that she’d put in this exact line of sight for this purpose – so that she couldn’t ignore it. She reluctantly stood, stretching, before moving to her school laptop and pulling up the list of things to pack that Elise had mentioned.

Organising her things for camp that morning helped to clear her mind. As she folded her clothes and prepared to put them into her hiking bag, she settled on the fact that she trusted Asher. That… if he was thinking about it as often as he said he did a while ago, then there must be a very good reason as to why he wasn’t jumping at all the opportunities she was giving him. Why he wasn’t able to tell her… she wasn’t sure. But, this was Asher. Responsible, sweet, caring Asher. He wouldn’t do this to simply be an asshole to her. And… if there was something wrong with her, he wouldn’t have told her yesterday that he really wanted to.

After about an hour of sourcing all the things she needed, and listing out what she didn’t have, Lila was starting to feel a lot more positive. Though she did want to see Asher as much as possible, having a break really helped change her mindset. At least, to where she was fairly confident that she could keep herself in check. It wasn’t just about her – it was about him, too. He knew where she stood, so all she could hope for was that he’d feel ready soon.

A knock on her door interrupted her musings and she spun in her desk chair to face the knocker, notepad and pen in hand.

“Oh, hey Daniel,” Lila said, putting her things down. “What’s up?”

His expression wasn’t one that carried any light-hearted pleasantries. He lingered at her door as he asked, “Why didn’t you trust me?”

Lila sighed, rubbing her forehead. She’d almost thought, given their interactions yesterday, what with his turning off her light and their board game matches during dinner, that he’d understood why it went the way it did. Or, at the very least, decided he was fine with it.

“Close the door and come sit,” she said gently. He seemed wary but did so anyway, taking a seat on her bed. She turned in her chair to face him and noticed that he was quite expressionless now. With that, she had no insight as to what he was really thinking. He merely looked at Lila, clearly waiting for her to explain herself.

“I thought you would’ve wanted to talk to Asher about this, too,” she said, staring down at her hands.

“Nah. He’s great and finally your boyfriend after a billion years, sure. But I don’t have the same expectations of him as I do for my own sister.”

Lila heard his voice shake ever so slightly at the words ‘my own sister’ and she looked up to find him averting his gaze from her. She suddenly felt that it’d be better for him to have been shouting and screaming. That, she knew how to handle. This… was a different, quiet kind of hurt – one that seemed to have nestled itself deeply within Daniel; far beyond her reach.

She hadn’t realised, until that moment, just how much she’d taken advantage of how mature Daniel had seemed over the course of this year. Now, though, she fully appreciated the fact that he wasn’t yet fourteen.

Though she wanted to fall over herself and apologise – “band-aid” her way out of this, to conceal the fact that she had, ultimately, aggrieved him with her choice – she knew that it would be a disservice to her brother.

“Daniel, I wanted to tell you earlier.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“Like I said yesterday, if those Grade 12s thought you were poking around or knew too much, they’d just toss you to the wolves. They might’ve even hurt you.”

“And why would you think that telling me would lead to that?” His voice shook again, but this time she could place the cause quite well – a broiling anger.

“It wasn’t that I thought it would definitely lead to that-”

“You only found out about me being the Banker by accident. I’d been running it for months before Asher paid off Isaac’s debt. I kept it a secret that whole time.”

“I know-”

“You just thought I’d be dumb enough to blab to them?”

“No-”

“Or that I’d try and take them out myself?”

“No-”

“That I might start selling drugs with them?”

“No-”

His eyes flashed. “You knew about this for months. And you didn’t think I deserved to know? That someone’s taking advantage of my business to do illegal shit?”

“Daniel-”

“Or did you just want to take all the glory for yourself? Pat yourself on the back? Zack’s my employee. If you needed information from him, I could’ve gotten it.”

Lila blinked. Was that the issue? That… they didn’t let Daniel investigate with them?

“It’d be normal for Zack to talk to me. Now Asher’s just gone and done something sus as hell – he might be in danger, not just me. So what, they do soccer together? Doesn’t mean they hang out. Someone could’ve seen-”

Lila raised a hand in an attempt to stop his tirade. “Woah. What do you mean?”

Daniel’s nostrils flared. “What do you mean, what do I mean? Zack’s an idiot. He’s probably already told Jason that he spilled the beans to Asher. You guys are going hiking in the wilderness. Maybe there’s someone in your Grade that would-”

“Daniel, Asher didn’t talk to Zack to get that information.”

Daniel stopped for a moment, his expression changing from fury to bewilderment. “What do you mean? That’s what he said to Dad.”

Lila closed her eyes, gritting her teeth for a moment. If… trust was what Daniel was asking for, at the heart of this confrontation, then…

“Here,” she murmured, taking her phone from her desk. She turned her phone on Airplane mode and opened her messages with Zack. “This is how we got the info.”

He accepted her phone with curiosity before reading the messages. His expression rotated between alarm, amusement, and disgust at various intervals. Finally, after what felt like years, he looked back at Lila.

“You blackmailed him? As the Rock? Using his fear of buses?”

“I don’t think he had a fear of buses until our conversation. But, yeah. With that, it’s pretty unlikely that Zack would say anything to Jason and if he did, it wouldn’t be easily traced back to us.”

Daniel stared back down at her phone. “So… you guys lied to Dad.”

“Had to. I didn’t want to tell him about my crimes when talking about Jason’s. Daniel, Asher and I had to play it safe to get this information. You saw how far it extended to – at least, from what Zack knows. That’s a lot of dependent customers who are going to be very upset when it gets shut down. Never mind the fact that Jason would probably be out for blood once he gets wind of the investigation. You saw his reaction at Assembly, when you got sanctioned. He’s not a guy who’s willing to just let it go ‘cause he got caught. The fact that they kept doing deals after you were sanctioned means he’s at least persistent. Determined, most likely. Probably self-sufficient at this stage, too.”

Lila sighed before shaking her head. “We considered sending Asher in as a mole to pose as a customer after soccer practice. Even though he’s walking dollar signs to anyone connected to the Banker, given how easily he paid off Isaac’s debt, we decided that it’d be too risky. You were in the prime position to get intel, I know that. But… we crawled along with this.” She paused.

“I’m suspicious that at least one of them is a lot sharper than we give them credit for. If you knew even a word more, acted even a smidge different – it might’ve been all over for you. I… couldn’t let that happen. I’d already been nervous that someone would catch on when Asher was redoing the books. But this carried a much higher level of risk. If it was a guarantee, that letting you in wouldn’t have led to you being put in danger – of being expelled, or otherwise – we would’ve gladly asked for the help. We… were kinda floundering for a bit, to be honest.”

Lila surveyed Daniel for a moment. He seemed to be absorbing what she was saying, at least.

“I never thought you’d just run to them and tell them what was happening. I know you’re smarter than that, Daniel. Dad has talked about the basics of investigations around you since you were born – I know that you know that confidentiality is key. But we can’t help what we can’t help. That includes shifts in demeanour, changes in attitude, things like that, when you find something out about someone.” In a flash, Lila was reminded of the amount of times Grace had asked her what was wrong since Lila and Asher caught her with Ms Alexander. Even though Lila tried to be as normal as possible, and even made excuses for her odd behaviour, she evidently wasn’t perfect at masking that something had changed for her either.

Daniel gave a long, heavy exhale – one that seemed to carry relief along with it. She took it as an encouraging sign – it was all Lila could hope for, that he might understand where she was coming from now.

“I know… that it might feel disrespectful, that I did all this behind your back despite it being linked to your literal business. But… I didn’t do it without reason, or just to spite you. I’ve had a few sleepless nights, thinking about how to get through this without putting you in the firing line, as well as trying to figure out when to tell you.”

“Sis, I can take care of myself.”

“I know. You’re an established businessman. But you had to work with these people every day. You picked up notebooks from Livi all the time, and interacted with them as your employees. However, you did all that without knowing that all of them had knives behind their backs. None of them were safe, not even Theo, really. I know we talked about Jason, Zack, and Jake mainly, but Harper and Vi also know far too much to be casual observers. Theo… rejected their offers to be part of the ring, but he’s smart. He knew enough to keep both you and the others in his back pocket. If it all tipped in a certain direction, one where he’d be questioned, I’m sure he’d throw the others under the bus in a heartbeat. Vi might, too, but her hands are far from clean in comparison to Theo. The question wasn’t about whether you could take care of yourself – it was about how many people were looking at you as an endless cash cow, and how many people would be willing to do something to save their own skins. None of them strike me as the type to not throw someone else into it if they’re going down.”

Daniel was quiet, placing Lila’s phone next to him on her bed. Then, he whispered, “I… just wish you could’ve let me make decisions on how to handle it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I… get it, though.”

“Good.”

Daniel didn’t speak for a minute or so, and Lila didn’t want to interrupt his thoughts. Eventually, he stood up.

“I think that’s all I wanted to say,” he said softly. “Uh, I won’t tell Dad about the blackmail part.”

“I appreciate it.”

He crossed her room before stopping just in front of the door. “Also… thanks. For doing all that. I know I came in here a bit pissed off, but I also know that it would’ve been hard for you. It seems like Dad’s happy with the info, too. Hopefully, this will all be over next week.”

“I did what I had to,” Lila replied with a nod. “Not only because I’m your big sister, but also because I’m nosy as hell. If I didn’t get to the bottom of it, or at least, as far as I could get to the bottom of it, I would’ve been cranky for the rest of time.”

“That’s true. Glad that didn’t happen, then.”

They shared a smile before Daniel left, closing the door behind him. He still seemed subdued, but Lila hoped that she addressed his concerns, at least – even if he had to mull over them for a bit.

She was tempted to pick up her phone and call Asher, to tell him what transpired and to hear his voice once again. A break was a break, though, so she resisted the urge and instead looked through her notepad, her thoughts returning to camp.

They would be in three-person tents this camp, and she’d already picked her preference to be with Elise and Grace earlier this year. Now, though, she wasn’t sure how she was going to get through this week, sleeping in such close quarters with Grace – before and after their conversation.

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She slapped her notepad down onto her desk. She’d have to navigate that tomorrow. Right now, she needed to figure out how to get these remaining supplies, since she wasn’t with Asher today. There was a bus route that went to the shopping centre outside her house, but she wasn’t sure whether going alone was the best idea.

Though it had been some time since Piper’s murder, there wasn’t any news about the progress of the Police’s investigation into it – at least, no arrests, as far as she knew. That meant that it was likely that Piper’s murderer was somewhere out there. Perhaps, they were even waiting at that same shopping centre that Piper was last seen at – the exact one that Lila wanted to go to today.

Suddenly, going to the shops at all was no longer appealing. But she really needed that damn torch. All the ones at home were either missing or so old that she didn’t trust herself to not suffer at least a minor shock when touching them.

She checked the time. 10.30am. Was Clare back? Was she even coming back home today?

Lila considered asking her Dad to take her, but she didn’t necessarily want to hang around the shops with him following their conversation yesterday. Besides, if he was going to wrap everything up in a week, as he’d said, he was probably far too busy anyway.

Now that she’d slept on it, a week sounded like a short amount of time. Would he really get it done by then? At the same time though, it had started in August last year. What would the end of a professional investigation look like? She hadn’t really asked what outcome she should be expecting at the end of the week.

She poked her head out of her room, attempting to see whether the door to her parents’ room was closed. Instead, her eyes met her Dad hurrying down the hallway, slipping on a blazer.

“Where’re you going?” Lila asked, evidently catching him off guard as he practically skidded to a stop and looked back at her.

“Ah. The Hospital, then the Police Station,” her Dad said meaningfully. “Not sure when I’ll be back.”

“Is Mum-”

“She’s heading out soon.”

“Okay.”

“See you later, kiddo.”

“Good luck, Dad.”

“With your information, I don’t need luck,” he grinned. He promptly headed down the stairs and Lila couldn’t hold back the smile that had crept onto her face. She almost retreated into her room fully when a different sound – of footsteps shuffling up the stairs, rather than down – caught her attention. Was that Clare?

She peered out of the doorway, waiting to see who emerged on the landing.

As soon as Lila’s eyes landed on who it was, she snapped her door shut and scrambled to her bed. Mum.

Lila’s heart began to race, her fear manifesting into a chokehold so panic-inducing she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to breathe again. Had she been spotted? Would her Mum come in?

It felt like hours had passed. Her Mum didn’t try and talk to her, or approach her door, and it seemed that she was long gone. So, Lila relaxed her grip on her blankets. As much as her Dad had said yesterday that it was too soon for her Mum to want to talk to Lila and Clare, Lila was obviously not ready either.

Lila’s phone buzzed. It was a message from Clare consisting of only two words – Mum home?

Yeah, Lila replied with a small sigh. Almost bumped into her. Freaked me out

Sounds like you need some bubble tea

And a torch

A what

For camp

Ew lol – be there in 20

Lila pressed her phone to her chest. Her Mum might have left home now, but as Lila wasn’t sure, she didn’t want to spend any more time here with even the slightest potential to bump into her Mum again.

She showered and dressed in record time, untucking her necklace from her jumper just as another knock sounded on her door.

“It’s me,” Clare’s voice called. “Ready?”

Lila grabbed her notepad, phone, and small cross-body bag before opening the door. “Let’s go.”

“Oi,” Clare said sharply as she rapped her knuckles against Daniel’s door. “Lila and I are going to the shops. Want anything?”

“Sisters who don’t annoy me,” was Daniel’s muffled response.

“Rude,” Clare snorted. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

Lila followed behind Clare as she flounced down the stairs, seeming in a much chirpier mood than even yesterday morning when she dropped Lila off at Jacoval.

“Sis, I might need to tie weights to you,” Lila joked as they headed to Clare’s car.

“What? Why?” Clare asked, her eyebrows creased with confusion.

“You might float away with all that happiness you’re giving off.”

Clare laughed, hopping into the driver’s seat. “You can tell, huh?”

“’Course,” Lila replied matter-of-factly as she sat in the passenger seat and buckled herself in. “You’re that keen to see Alex?”

“Duh.”

Lila chuckled. They didn’t speak too much on the way over to the shopping centre, with Clare blasting her usual tunes. Lila did ask how Clare’s night went, though.

“Managed to not get absolutely smashed,” Clare replied with a victorious laugh. “I’d call that a success.”

“I’m not sure if I’d call that a success, but I suppose you’re not hungover.”

“Exactly. Success.”

Lila smirked at Clare, who grinned in return as they continued to make their way to the shopping centre. It wasn’t long before Clare parked and they exited, leisurely walking inside.

“So, why’d you come back?” Lila asked curiously, looping her arm with Clare’s. Clare glanced at her before sighing.

“Couple reasons. Alex comes back on Monday, so I wanted to pack some stuff. But… I also didn’t want to leave you at home if Mum was there.”

For some reason, Lila felt a twinge of emotion at Clare’s words. “Dad said Mum was going out.”

“Did he say when?”

“No.”

“Then it was better off that I took you away, right?”

Lila sighed. “I guess…”

Clare pursed her lips before guiding them towards a bubble tea store. They made their orders, waiting off to the side whilst they were being made.

“Clare?”

“Yeah?”

“… Dad said that… when I get back from camp, we should talk to Mum.”

“Did he?” Clare didn’t necessarily look surprised, but she didn’t look pleased either. She gave a heavy exhale before shaking her head.

“I don’t want to,” Clare said after a few moments. “I don’t want to hear what she has to say.”

“I don’t blame you, sis.”

Clare gritted her teeth before placing a hand on her hip, her expression still displeased. “But… we can’t live like this forever, either. And… she needs to apologise to you.”

“And you.”

“I don’t know if it’d mean much to me, to be honest. Taking a break from work made me realise how much I love and miss it. If Mum thinks I’m a whore still, then that’s what it is. I’m not going to stop doing what I love just because Mum disapproves. I’m an adult now.” She paused. “I’d probably move in with friends, or Alex, if Mum wanted to kick me out.”

“Even if it’ll be hard for you?”

“It’d be much easier than living with someone who thinks I’m less than just because of my job –which is perfectly legal, mind you.”

“I know.”

Clare eyed Lila carefully before sighing again. “I’d rather not move out, though. It’d leave you and Daniel undefended if Mum loses her shit again. I’d… never felt scared of her, before our latest fight. Fights before that… well, they were serious, but not terrifying. I don’t want to leave you guys behind if I can help it.”

“Clare, you don’t need to worry. I can take care of myself and Daniel, too.”

Clare smiled, bumping Lila’s shoulder. “I know you can. I’d still worry, though. It’s the privilege that comes with being the eldest.”

“I worry about you, too, you know.”

Clare laughed, ruffling Lila’s hair. “You can tell we’re related.”

Their drinks were called and they wandered off through the shops, drinking idly. Eventually, Lila pulled her list out and passed it to Clare.

“I need these things for camp,” Lila explained. Clare looked at it and nodded.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

Lila hadn’t hung out with just Clare at the shops for a long while – not this year, at least. It was quite nice, actually. They hit up all the places that Lila needed to buy things at before stopping for lunch, chatting freely about their classes and camp, making jokes along the way. It didn’t take long for their conversation to circle to their boyfriends, though.

“I’m surprised that you’re not with Asher today,” Clare observed. “Trouble in paradise?”

Lila shook her head before pausing. “Not… exactly.”

“Not even after seeing his ex?”

Lila blinked. She hadn’t even spoken to Asher about that, after everything else that happened yesterday. Since he hadn’t brought it up, it mustn’t have bothered him. But… since they weren’t together today, would he be bothered about it now?

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to bring her up,” Clare said quietly.

“No, it’s fine. We actually didn’t really talk about her yesterday, after we noticed she was at the game.”

“Oh? That’s progress. I thought you would’ve talked in circles about her.”

“We might’ve, if we didn’t have other things to talk about. Actually, we had something important to talk to Dad about yesterday, and I think that distracted us from everything else.”

“Important to talk to Dad about?” Clare raised an eyebrow before suddenly pointing at Lila, her face white. “Uh uh. You’re pregnant?”

Lila choked on her bubble tea, coughing as she put it down. “Jesus, not you too! That’s what Dad thought.”

“That’s not an answer!”

“Clare, I’m still a virgin.”

Clare looked at her doubtfully.

“I’m serious! Despite… my best efforts,” she gave a hopeless sigh.

Clare’s mouth twitched, and Lila could tell she was suppressing a smirk. “What’s holding him back?” Clare asked, taking a careful sip of her drink.

“No idea. If I had an idea, maybe… I’d feel better about it.”

Clare looked contemplative. “If I had to guess what’s going through his head, I reckon he’s nervous.”

“I mean, I am too. But… I still want to do it with him. So… I’m trying not to let it overtake me. I decided this morning that he’d have a very good reason and that I can wait.”

“Sure,” Clare nodded. “From my experience, some guys have this… thing about performing, so to speak. He’s probably tangled up in all these knots, trying to figure out how to do it without disappointing you, anxious boy that he is.”

Lila pursed her lips. “I don’t want to push him if he’s not ready. I just wish we could work through it together.”

Clare waggled her eyebrows suggestively. Lila glared at her, and she ceased her eyebrow-waggling immediately.

“Well, if you weren’t telling Dad that you’re pregnant, then what was it?”

Lila paused. “An update on Daniel’s business. And we also talked about Mum, that’s why I know Dad said we should talk to her after I come back from camp.”

“I see.” Clare finished off her sushi roll before looking intently at Lila. “You don’t have to worry. Asher will be ready when he’s ready.”

“I know,” Lila groaned. “I don’t want to pressure him, but trying to push these feelings down is impossible.”

“So, I’m guessing you’re going to avoid talking to him anymore about it?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you talked to Elise and Grace about it?”

“They… probably wouldn’t have advice.”

“Well, you don’t necessarily need advice – an outlet for what you’re feeling could be all that you need. You’re also only going to want it more because he’s saying no. Clearly, the first option, letting it out physically or verbally with Asher, won’t work. So, you’ll just need to complain about it with your friends.”

“I don’t know if complaining about it is the right terminology.”

“Are… you not complaining about it?”

Lila sighed in defeat. “Fine. I am. I get what you’re saying, too. Thanks.” She took another sip of her drink before looking at Clare curiously. “Have you ever had this situation before?”

“Me?” Clare looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking her head. “No, actually. I mean, more respectful guys waited for me to bring it up, but as soon as I did, that was it.”

“See, that’s what I thought guys were like.”

“All I can say is that he cares a lot about you, Lila. What’s the rush, anyway?”

Lila hesitated. She didn’t really know, truthfully. There was just… something that yearned for him, and the only conclusion she reached about what that was… was this. But… perhaps it was something else. Something she was still struggling to understand.

“Clare, have you… been in love before?”

Clare’s eyes bulged, the surprise almost making her choke. She took a moment to collect herself before answering.

“I… well. Once. At least, I thought it was, but it wasn’t reciprocated, remember? I’m not quite there with Alex, yet, but yeah, I’d call it that. Why, do you think you’re in love with Asher?”

“I don’t know. That’s another thing I’m trying to figure out. Can you be in love with someone without having sex with them?”

“Not sure if I’m the authority on that,” Clare replied delicately. “There are people who remain virgins until marriage, though. And people who wait until they feel like they’re fully in love, so I’d guess so.”

“Is a month too soon?”

“If your feelings for him only started a month ago, maybe,” Clare responded with a shrug. “Though, I’m pretty sure your crush started long before that. It really depends, Lila. I can’t answer for you, but if you feel like you’re in love, then you’re in love.”

“What does it feel like?”

“Well… like most things, it feels different from person to person, I think. But there’s a couple things that I think are pretty commonly felt when someone’s in love, at least. Firstly, feeling like you’re safe with them. Safe to be yourself, and comfortable to be around them. Like there’s this peace that you feel, when you lay eyes on them. This next one is a bit different, but when you’re around them, it feels like you’re home – one that you’ve built together. It’s hard to explain, but you’ll know when you feel it. Trust is really important, too. Of course, thinking about them and wanting to be with them is a good sign. Missing them, even if it hasn’t been long since you last saw them. Sexual desire can be important – at least, if there’s a lack of it, then perhaps you’re not compatible.” Clare’s face suddenly turned pink, and she clutched both sides of her drink. “Actually, scratch what I said, about not being quite there with Alex.”

Lila smiled, taking in Clare’s flustered demeanour. The idea that Clare was in love with Alex was an endearing one, after all the trouble Clare went through in deciding what she wanted with him. There was another reason for her smile, though. It… felt as though Clare had hit the nail on her head with how Lila felt about Asher.

Was this it, then? The acknowledgement that she was feeling this way was also terrifying. Nerve-wracking. It felt like such a heavy step forward if she were to tell him that she loved him, though. If he didn’t feel the same way, then he might think she was clingy, or moving too fast, or something.

“That’s a bright smile,” Clare grinned, her face back to its normal colour. “Feels like you’ve got your answer.”

“I… think so, too. B-But… I don’t know if I should tell him yet.”

“There’s nothing wrong with waiting until you’re dead certain,” Clare said sagely. “I still am a bit pissed about the fact that he laughed at you when you told him you liked him. So, holding back might be a better idea in the meantime.” She pulled out her phone and glanced at Lila. “C’mon, I need to get some new outfits for when I start work again.”

They threw their rubbish away and explored some more shops. Clare bought quite a few new outfits and encouraged Lila to get something, too. Finally, they were done, laden with quite a number of bags, and Lila double-checked her list.

“I’ve got everything,” she confirmed to Clare, who nodded.

“Thank God. Ready to go home?”

“Guess so.”

Once Clare started driving home, Lila looked at Clare seriously.

“Are you going to tell Alex you love him?”

“Jesus, Lila, you’ll make me crash,” Clare replied, her voice taut with panic as she touched the brake a little too hard. “N-Not anytime soon.”

That made Lila feel much better about holding back herself. “Alright.”

“I didn’t say this before, but admitting it out loud is way, way scarier than just saying you like them. I’m a coward, remember? Take my advice with a grain of salt. You’re much braver than I am, so maybe you’ll be fine.”

“Maybe.”

Clare looked at Lila warily before sighing. “Man, none of these conversations were on my bingo cards for this year.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s not a bad thing. I’m glad, actually, that you were able to find someone who makes you feel this way – and that it’s reciprocated. It makes your worrywart sister feel a little less worried, to know someone else is looking out for you.”

“I never said that he was.”

“You don’t need to. I can tell, just by how he is with you. The guy got Gabriel to pay for my fine before you even started dating, remember? Of course he’s the type to be looking out for you.”

Lila had forgotten about that.

“Anyway, camp’ll be fun,” Clare said cheerily. “Maybe you’ll have a sweet love confession under the stars.”

Lila blushed, feeling her heart race. “That’s definitely too soon.”

“But if the mood fits,” Clare sang. Then, she gave Lila a warning look. “No wayward touching, Lila.”

“Like I was gonna even try,” Lila replied, rolling her eyes.

“I only warn you because a girl from my grade got suspended for that, after they caught her in someone’s tent. They then found her in another guy’s tent and sent her home from camp immediately. I think she was suspended for a week.”

“Jesus.”

“She ended up moving schools.”

“I feel like this is an urban legend.”

“What, you think I’d lie about that?”

“No, but someone might have lied to you about that. Did you ever ask her?”

“Nah. She was gone by the time I heard about it.”

“So, you don’t really know if it’s true.”

“It’s true!”

Lila laughed, shaking her head. “I’ll take that story with a pinch of salt, rather than a grain.”

“Whatever.”

They both burst into giggles, continuing their drive home with more light-hearted conversation.

When they finally arrived home and Lila was back in the quiet of her room, bags upon bags resting on her floor, she finished packing, her mood carrying through the happiness she’d felt when hanging out with Clare. She’d been spending so much time with Asher lately that she hadn’t realised how much she missed spending time with her sister.

The rest of her afternoon and night was spent lounging mindlessly in her room. The mindlessness was a conscious choice since the looming task of having to talk to Grace this week would send her into a frenzy if she thought about it too much right now. She also wanted to talk to Asher, but with her revelation from today, she was a bit too nervous to strike up a conversation. Besides, a break was a break.

Dinner consisted of more takeaway – pizza, this time – and the absence of her parents. She collected some slices of pizza before scurrying away upstairs once more, not keen on the potential of running into them. It seemed that both Clare and Daniel had the same idea in mind since neither was sitting in the dining room.

Finally, she began to feel sleepy enough to start her bedtime routine, pausing when she untucked her necklace from her pyjamas. It… was too nice to wear to camp. She didn’t want it to get damaged, or potentially lost, so it was with reluctance that she unhooked it. She placed it in one of her desk drawers, where she knew it would be safe, before climbing into bed and setting a timer for the morning.

Camp was finally upon her, and she had a couple of missions to complete before the week was done – talking to Grace, and trying to push Elise and Isaac together, whilst trying to survive the multiple arduous activities and the persistent worry about whether her Dad was progressing with what he’d promised, namely. But, at the very least, she’d be with Asher once again.