Chapter Seventy-Seven

Now that it was Saturday morning, Lila couldn’t figure out what to wear. Should she try and look good? Or should she just go as she usually did in her casual clothes? Should she do her hair? Maybe some makeup?

‘But… if he rejects you… wouldn’t putting so much effort in feel like a slap in the face?’ she thought to herself as she pulled out a black fit-and-flare dress with lace cutouts at the waist. She put it back with a sigh. It probably would make her feel worse if she was all dolled up and he rejected her confession. But, what if putting effort in was what she needed for him to accept her confession? Then again, if Asher liked her, as her friends and family seemed convinced that he did, surely he liked her as she usually was?

“You look constipated,” Clare’s voice broke Lila out of her thoughts and she spun around to face her sister. Clare smirked from the doorway and walked to where Lila was standing by her closet.

“I was just checking to see if you were getting ready to go to Asher’s,” Clare explained, rifling through Lila’s clothes absently. “But you’re still just standing here in house clothes.”

“I’ve had a shower,” Lila said feebly. “That’s… as far as I got.”

“What’s the holdup?” Clare asked, pausing when she got to the Minecraft shirt. “The fuck is this?”

“A Christmas present from Aunt Bernice a few years ago,” Lila said listlessly, pushing the shirt aside. “Don’t be rude.”

Clare snorted, flipping through a few more clothes with interest. “If you don’t want to make him wait, you gotta- whoa, whoa, what’s up?”

Clare had taken a look at Lila’s face before turning around entirely. “You don’t look so good,” she added.

“Thanks,” Lila replied softly, pushing some of her hair out of her eyes. Truthfully, her anxiety was causing her to feel nauseous. Perhaps it was reflected in her face.

“Sit down,” Clare said, pulling Lila towards her bed. “Talk to me.”

Lila was surprised to see her hands shaking as she sat down on her bed. Clare wheeled Lila’s desk chair towards Lila and sat down, looking at her very seriously. Lila sighed, staring down at her lap.

“I… I’ve been trying to confess to Asher all week,” Lila said quietly. “But it hasn’t worked out.”

“He rejected you?” Clare asked. Lila winced.

“No… that’s what I’m afraid of, though. B-But I told myself that I’m definitely going to do it today. I can’t keep it in anymore. E-Especially since we’re planning to hang out over the holidays.”

That part was sort of a lie – she hadn’t actually made any real plans with Asher for the holidays but assumed that she would be going over again to break into the worker’s cottage, and try the lamb dish.

Clare didn’t say anything for a moment before reaching out to tenderly caress the top of Lila’s head. “While I have some predictions for how it might go today, I can’t tell you for sure what’ll happen,” Clare eventually said gently. “I think you should go for it, though. Especially if you can’t hold it in anymore.”

“I have to,” Lila murmured. “I keep chickening out. I have to do it today… so, at least I know where I stand. Otherwise, I’ll be stuck wondering for the rest of the holidays.”

“And we all know that you wondering is a bad idea,” Clare teased. Lila gave her a half-smile in acknowledgement. Clare slapped her hands onto her thighs and stood up.

“Let’s make you look cute, at least,” she declared. “Not that it’s hard to do. You look like me, after all.”

Lila didn’t respond to Clare’s comment and watched as Clare went back to rifling through her closet. Clare’s hands grazed the black dress Lila had looked at earlier and she held it up, spinning it so she could see the back as well.

“Put this on,” Clare demanded, taking it off the hanger and tossing it at Lila. “I’ll keep looking, but you may as well try that one.”

Lila complied with Clare’s request, taking a look at her appearance in the mirror. The dress hugged the small of her waist well and otherwise clung to her form, stopping halfway up her thighs. It had a sweetheart neckline, dipping low but not obscenely so.

“Bit short,” Clare noted, pursing her lips as she looked at Lila. “Perfect.”

Lila tried to pull it down lower to no avail. Clare moved on to look at stockings and accessories.

“Here,” Clare chucked a pair of sheer stockings at Lila. “So you don’t freeze.”

“I’ll be inside mostly,” Lila replied, though she did pull them on anyway. Clare collected a few hair accessories and held them up to Lila’s hair before selecting a white satin bow. She pulled Lila’s hair into a half-up hairstyle, clipping the bow just above the hair tie.

“We’ll just do some light makeup,” Clare said approvingly, taking a step back and surveying Lila. “Small winged eyeliner, tame those brows, and add a nice lip colour.”

Clare did just that and selected a small silver bag and necklace before making Lila twirl around.

“Cute,” Clare grinned. “Love my handiwork. There’s no way he’d reject you now.”

“Don’t get my hopes up too high,” Lila replied, though she smiled back at Clare. “Thanks, Clare.”

Clare waved a hand dismissively before checking the time. “Gotta go,” she said hurriedly. “C’mon.”

The car ride to Asher’s was rather quiet, though Lila did check herself out a couple of times. She was glad that Clare had taken over and helped her dress up. She’d probably still be staring at her closet, unable to make any kind of decision about what to wear otherwise.

Clare parked outside Asher’s house, turning to Lila to give her another once-over.

“You look great,” Clare said reassuringly. “I’m on shift tonight, but if you come home early enough, we can talk about how it went. Do you have any plans for what you’re actually going to say?”

Lila shifted uncomfortably in her seat, shaking her head. “I get too anxious thinking about the actual moment. I have to survive the leadup, first.”

“Alright,” Clare replied, rubbing Lila’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine. I’d suggest doing it at the end of your visit, rather than the beginning. If he does end up reacting unfavourably, it’d just make the whole day awkward. Speak of the devil, looks like he’s coming down the driveway now.”

Lila snapped her head to look out the window. She hadn’t messaged Asher to let him know she was here. Despite this, there was Asher, dressed in blue-grey chino shorts and a crinkled speckled-grey, v-neck shirt, having emerged from his house. He ruffled his untidy hair as he walked over to Clare’s car. He was still a fair while away as Lila looked back at Clare, suddenly wishing to go home.

“Does he always have to look so sloppy?” Clare asked, raising an eyebrow at his appearance.

“He does,” Lila said quietly. “It… it’s a long story. But he still looks good to me.”

“I’m sure he does,” Clare responded seriously. “Go, have fun. No matter what happens, at least make some good memories.”

There was a hint of emotion behind Clare’s last point that Lila was at the cusp of understanding. She was about to reply to Clare when Asher knocked on the car door and opened it gently.

“Good morning,” he said cheerily to Clare and Lila. “Fancy seeing yo- whoa.”

He blinked rapidly as he took in Lila’s appearance, a faint blush rising on his cheeks. Lila’s own cheeks were flushed as she scrambled to stand, checking to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything. Clare was smirking smugly at the two of them.

“Y-You look nice,” Asher stammered. “Is… there a special occasion?”

‘Yes,’ Lila thought. “Not really,” she said aloud, glancing at Clare. “Just… thought I’d mix up my style.”

Clare leaned over the passenger side and called out, “She looks cute, right? I helped! My sister’s so pretty.”

“Clare!” Lila exclaimed, hiding her face in her hands. She could hear Clare chortling as she returned to the driver’s side. Lila also thought she could hear Asher spluttering, but she didn’t want to check.

“It’s great,” Asher said feebly after clearing his throat slightly. “I mean, you look great. It- you’re… not an it. S-Sorry.”

Clare snorted before Lila slammed the door shut. Clare waved at the two of them before driving off. Asher continued to look at Lila for a moment, seeming mesmerised. Then, he quickly turned on his heel, throwing a hand into his hair, and the other into his pants pocket. Each step he took towards the front doors seemed deliberate - somehow both too fast and too slow, though perhaps that was just how Lila perceived it due to her own nerves.

“Marlene’s in. She’s just prepping for lunch,” he said as he opened the front doors. “She’ll be busy for a while, it seems like.”

“I see,” Lila noted, ensuring she didn’t fall too far behind him. As per usual for the weekend, a pair of slippers sat waiting for Lila in the entranceway. She took off her shoes and placed them in their usual spot, put the slippers on, and continued to follow Asher towards the kitchen.

“Marlene,” he called, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Lila’s here.”

Marlene bustled out of the butler’s pantry almost instantly, wiping her hands on a tea towel that she kept in her apron.

“Good morning, Lila,” Marlene smiled, her eyes flickering down her outfit before resting on her face. It seemed that Marlene’s smile widened even further. “You look nice.”

“Thanks, Marlene,” Lila replied awkwardly. Now that people were commenting on her appearance, she felt as though she should’ve just worn her casual clothes.

Marlene simply smiled again before taking a bow and returning to the butler’s pantry. Lila cast her eyes around the kitchen, touching her necklace’s pendant for comfort. Looking at Asher’s face would make her more nervous than she already was.

“Uh, let’s head up to my room. The rumpus room. That one,” Asher said hesitantly after a few moments of silence. Lila wordlessly followed Asher up the stairs and into the rumpus room, sitting down in her usual spot on the couch. Asher softly closed the door behind her, which flooded Lila with a sense of panic. After being firmly told to leave her bedroom door open whenever Asher was over, being enclosed with just him was nerve-wracking.

“Are you okay?” Asher asked gently, crossing the room towards the kitchenette. She could hear him pouring drinks and she clasped her hands together, trying her usual breathing exercise in an effort to calm down. She only reached ‘three’ before her concentration failed her.

“I-I’m fine,” Lila replied quietly. He joined her on the couch, passing her a cup of juice. She took a sip, still avoiding his gaze.

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“You seem spooked,” Asher noted lightly, taking a sip of his own cup. “Did something happen?”

“Not… exactly.”

“You don’t want to talk about it?”

“Not right now, please.” There was a certain squeaky quality to Lila’s words and she put her cup down on the coffee table. Asher set his down as well and leaned over, grabbing two sets of joy cons.

“How about a game of Mario Kart?” he suggested, holding them out to Lila. She took them with a smile. Playing a game sounded perfect, actually.

“I’ll destroy you,” she remarked, turning on the joy cons.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see about that,” Asher chuckled, leaning back into the couch and relaxing his posture. “I may have been working on my techniques.”

“How dastardly of you,” Lila quipped, altering her accent to sound ‘posh’. He grinned at her.

“Sometimes you have to employ some underhanded tricks so you stop getting embarrassed in your own home,” he joked. Their eyes met. Lila felt a spark jolt within her, a rush of goosebumps bursting across her forearms before she quickly looked away, her face rapidly reddening.

They played a few rounds, with Lila absolutely smashing Asher into the ground every time. It seemed suspiciously successful, as though he wasn’t putting up much of a fight. She turned to him with a frown and was surprised to see him smiling.

“Are you letting me win?” she asked with a huff. His eyes darted to her face before he turned his head back to the TV.

“Not at all,” he responded earnestly. “Just… can’t seem to get my act together. Hey, I just got a new one. We can play up to four players, but two is just as good. Wanna try?”

His eyes sparkled as he said this, and Lila made the mistake of again catching his eyes within hers. She tore her eyes away and cleared her throat, leaning slightly further away from him on the couch.

“We can give it a go,” she said after a brief pause. “Is there PvP?”

“I can check the settings,” Asher said hastily, quitting Mario Kart and opening up the new game.

It turned out that there was PvP, which Lila insisted they keep on. This game was a rogue-lite dungeon crawler, which served as an incredibly chaotic experience. Lila was having so much fun, her sides hurting from laughter, that she’d basically forgotten all about the anxiety that she’d started the day with.

Eventually, Marlene called them down for lunch, which was tenderised pork schnitzels served with a side of mushroom sauce and mashed potatoes. It was surprising, actually, that Marlene had made something like this, given she wasn’t a dedicated cook. As Marlene passed over a glass dish of lemon slices, Lila complimented the food.

“Oh, this?” Marlene gestured to the schnitzels with a soft smile. “It’s a comfort food for me. A family recipe.”

“Really?” Asher asked with keen interest, shovelling a large piece into his mouth. “It’s really good. I didn’t know it was a family recipe.”

“What can I say, I’m full of surprises,” Marlene said a small giggle. It was adorable, yet entirely unsettling. Lila exchanged a look with Asher before proceeding to quickly eat her food, too.

Once they were done, they headed back upstairs. It was about 1pm, and Lila was struck by the sudden feeling that they had forgotten something.

“What the heck was that?” Asher asked after closing the door behind Lila again. “It took every bit of concentration I had to not jump outta my chair.”

“What, with the giggling?” Lila smirked. “It was a bit off-putting, I’ll give you that.”

“I feel like she’s probably toying with us,” Asher frowned, refilling their drinks. Lila sat back down in her usual spot, contemplating Asher’s statement. Perhaps Marlene was…

Lila gasped, clapping a hand to her forehead.

“Asher! We’re here to plan.”

“Oh shit,” Asher replied, hurriedly placing his juice down and dashing into his bedroom. “I completely forgot.”

He returned a second later with his personal laptop in his right hand, charger swinging from his left. He sat down and opened up their investigation document, scrolling through what they had written down so far before reaching the end.

“Alright,” he said softly, glancing at Lila. “Where to begin?”

“I guess… we have to pick a day,” she said thoughtfully. “Do you know if Marlene is still working at the café?”

“As far as I know, she is,” Asher nodded, writing the point down as a bullet point. “So, you’re thinking a weekday?”

“Yeah,” Lila replied, looking through her calendar absently. Given that Grace and Elise were both generally down for the count these school holidays, she didn’t have any plans at all.

“What about… Wednesday?” she asked hesitantly. It felt both too far and too close. Asher’s eyes met hers.

“Wednesday should be okay.”

They fell into silence for a few moments, Lila still flicking through her phone absently. Then, she looked up at Asher. “How long does that lamb thing take to make?”

“Lamb thing?” Asher looked at her quizzically before his eyes lit up. “Oh, like what I said Gabriel should make? Uh, maybe a couple hours, but then afterwards it’s in the slow cooker.”

“Considering Gabriel lives there too, we’ll need to make sure that he’s too busy to go back to his room,” Lila noted, leaning over Asher’s right arm slightly to peer at the screen. She heard him audibly inhale and quickly sat back, her heart beating furiously in her chest. Her investment into the planning stages of their operation had made her momentarily forget that being so close to him might send her into a panic.

“W-What tools will we need?” Lila asked tentatively as Asher slowly typed ‘Lamb?’ onto the document.

“I reckon my lockpicking kit would be fine,” Asher replied, his eyes fixated on the screen. “But if all else fails, we could see where Gabriel keeps his set of keys.”

“Risky,” Lila said teasingly.

“I’ve had a look at where the external security cameras are,” Asher added confidently. “I’ve also done some more research into door locks. Hopefully, the locks on the cottage don’t vary too much from the examples I saw.”

“How else could we guarantee that Gabriel is in the kitchen?” Lila pondered, tapping her thigh absently. She thought she saw Asher look at her hand, but he’d looked back at his laptop so quickly that she might’ve imagined it.

“Perhaps a complex pastry,” Asher suggested after a pause. “He loves pastries, and he also loves when I give him suggestions.”

“Hmm,” Lila muttered, taking out her phone and conducting a quick Google search for difficult pastries to make. She perused the list before highlighting one with her finger.

“What about a baklava?” she asked.

“Ooh,” Asher murmured, writing that down as well. “Dessert lasagna. I like it.”

Lila snorted, and he grinned at her. Lila had a brilliant spark of inspiration and sat up straight.

“Hey, what about a disposable camera?” she said quickly. He looked at her in alarm.

“For what?”

“For pictures that we can’t keep on our phones.”

Asher gaped at her, his typing stopping completely. “P-Pardon?”

Lila huffed. “In case someone’s looking at our phones, of course. We can hide the evidence after we get the film developed.”

“Again, what?” Asher asked, a blush rising on his cheeks. “What are you hoping to take pictures of?”

“I dunno,” Lila replied, placing a finger on her chin. “The room, probably. Whatever we find in there. Remember how I said ages ago that you can’t be too careful with phones?”

“O-Oh,” Asher uttered softly. “Yeah. I’ll write that down.”

“Do you know the floor plan of the cottage?” Lila queried. He nodded.

“Yeah. It’s kinda like a duplex. They have their own separate wings of the cottage, essentially, but there is a connecting door in the middle of their living rooms. She’s on the right side.”

“We’ll need to make sure she’s still working at the café,” Lila said contemplatively. “So we might need to follow her again for a day or two. Unless you’ve got a reliable schedule for her?”

“I’ll see what I can figure out,” Asher suggested. “She might tell me her plans during the week.”

“Well, she’s never told you that she works at a café, yeah?”

“Yeah, but she tells me when she’s not at the cottage, in case I need her,” Asher shrugged.

They continued to plan the intricacies of their infiltration, such as escape routes in case Marlene returned, attire (with an emphasis on wearing gloves), other potential equipment, among other things. It took them the better part of a few hours, given their additional research into other lock types, how to process a scene, and anything else that caught their attention. Eventually, Lila’s brain began to feel like a dried-out sponge and she turned her phone screen off with a sigh, leaning back into the couch.

“I think I’m done,” she said softly. “My head’s spinning.”

Asher made a noise in agreement, closing his laptop and placing it on the coffee table. “Are you staying for dinner?” he asked, turning the TV on.

“May as well,” Lila said lightly. They watched a few things on YouTube together before diving back to the game that they were playing earlier that day. The rest of the afternoon slipped by into the evening, and the crackle of the intercom brought them back to reality in an instant.

It was, of course, Marlene requesting their presence for dinner. Reluctantly, they paused their game and headed downstairs. The smell of freshly cracked pepper over a cheesy, creamy pasta guided them into the dining room, their plates having already been set up.

“Chicken carbonara,” Marlene declared, gesturing to the salt and pepper on the table. “If you need more, feel free to add it on.”

They dug into their pasta quietly. It was certainly far tastier than Lila had experienced a carbonara to be, given her previous experiences were generally made from the sauce bottles her Mum bought from the grocery store. Perhaps this sauce was homemade.

Asher was wolfing down his food, as though he couldn’t eat fast enough. He’d been doing that a lot lately… should she ask why?

‘Probably not here,’ she thought to herself, her eyes flitting over to Marlene over her pasta-filled fork. Once they finished their dinner, Marlene brought over an assortment of cupcakes that Gabriel had apparently made yesterday. The chocolate cupcake with mint frosting was particularly delicious, with the cupcake itself the right amount of springy.

They headed back upstairs, Lila feeling far more exhausted than she thought she was. Plopping onto the couch, she sent a message to Clare to see if she was still available to pick Lila up. Clare’s response was just a sad face, so Lila tried her Mum. Her Mum confirmed that she’d leave shortly, and Lila turned her phone screen off with a sigh.

It was now or never.

Asher passed over the joy cons that Lila had been using, but instead of connecting them, she let them sit in her lap.

“What’s wrong?” Asher asked, looking at her with concern in his golden-brown eyes. Her heart jumped in her chest as she looked away from him. She stood up, placing the joy cons on the coffee table. Her tiredness that she’d felt only a second ago had virtually vanished, and now she had too much energy in her legs. The urge to pace was strong, but she remained still as she looked down at Asher.

“Uh… why’d you stand up?” he asked feebly. Lila’s breathing became irregular as she twisted her hands in front of her stomach, which she tried to unclench to no avail. She tried to say something, but the words couldn’t come out.

Asher tentatively stood as well, his height overshadowing her by about a good several centimetres at least.

“Take a deep breath,” he said gently, “you seem like you need it.”

Lila took his suggestion and took a deep breath, inhaling to the count of ten before exhaling to the count of ten. ‘You’ve got this,’ she told herself firmly.

“A-Asher, I’ve got something important to say,” she finally stammered, looking down at her slipper-clad feet. “A-And I hope you’ll listen.”

His face dropped into one of complete seriousness. “I will,” he promised, looking at Lila intensely. Now that she had said that, there was no going back. The sound of her heartbeat quickening virtually drowned out anything else, her face flushed, and legs about to give way from under her. Her stomach swooped as she tried to force the words out of her mouth.

“I-Is it about what’s been on your mind lately?” Asher questioned hesitantly. Lila nodded. She felt tears welling up behind her eyes – tears that were forming in frustration at her inability to just say it.

“A-Asher,” Lila said, her voice quivering. She closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see him, which seemed to help significantly. “I… It’s been on my mind a lot. For a while, now. Specifically, you’ve been on my mind.”

She opened her eyes again and saw that he was looking back at her, his own as wide as they could go. He seemed entirely rapt with attention. Lila sighed.

“You’re my best friend. And so… telling you this… is terrifying,” Lila’s voice cracked but she ignored it, trying to power through. “And I’ve been told that being vulnerable in these kinds of things can be good. It can… help.”

He didn’t say anything as she paused to try and collect herself, but she was shaking from head to foot. There would be no ‘collecting herself’ for the moment.

“You… mentioned before that you thought I was hiding something from you,” she continued, her voice dropping to a whisper now. “And I have been.”

“Yeah,” Asher replied softly, his eyes never moving from her face. “I figured.”

“T-The thing is,” Lila said, surprised that he spoke, “it’s a pretty big thing that I’ve been hiding. And I need to let it out.”

She clapped her hands to her cheeks, which felt red-hot, twice in an effort to move herself along. She was rambling, dancing around the point. Only a few seconds ago, she was struggling to say anything at all, but now she was saying too much – despite there being nothing of substance at all to her words. Though, she was doing marginally better than she’d expected, realistically.

‘Here goes…’ she thought to herself as she took another deep breath.

“Asher, what I’m trying to say is that… I like you.”

She’d said it. Her stomach lurched as the force of a thousand butterflies began to beat their wings within it, her face feeling hotter than she’d ever felt before, and her knees quivered. Her eyes locked onto Asher’s. She could almost see his mind processing the information before his face settled into looking dumbfounded.

“What?” he croaked.

“I… I like you,” Lila repeated, this time in an almost undetectable whisper.

“Like… as a friend?” his voice was squeaky, though not quite shrill. Lila shook her head.

“No… well, yes. But no. I like you. Like like, even.” She cringed at herself for saying that but forced herself to continue to look at him.

“F-For how long?” he breathed, his hands curling into fists.

“For… a while. I can’t pick out the ‘when’, and I’d been denying it to myself for a while before then… but a few months, at least.”

He swayed on his feet for a moment.

Then, the worst sound that Lila could have ever asked for at this moment escaped his lips. A sound that she was so intimately familiar with, a miraculous one that always, in any other context, initiated joy deep within her.

He started laughing. A full, hearty belly laugh – one that seemed to come from the depths of his soul. He placed a hand over his eyes, the other on his stomach, as the shudders of laughter rolled his shoulders.

The wind within Lila’s lungs was instantly replaced with lead. The tears that had been threatening to overflow a few moments ago returned, this time trailing down her face. He was laughing. It was the worst possible outcome. The fears she’d held tightly to her chest, expressed to her friends and family, had come to fruition, shattering her heart with it.

The butterflies within her stomach instantly fell, melding together into a soup of nausea that crashed inside with each heaving breath Asher took. If there was a self-destruct button at her disposal, she would have slammed it with the full force of her body.

The dress that her sister had picked out for her now felt far too short, far too exposing, and far too ridiculous to be wearing. Why had Clare convinced her to wear this?

As she attempted to pull it down, his laughter grew with rising intensity, almost reaching a cackle.

‘Of course it would end like this. It was stupid to even try.’