Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Four
The pleasant chime of the bell by the door evoked a sense of panic in Lila. Now that they’d made their presence known, would Marlene have noticed?
The café was busy, though there was still plenty of seating inside. Lila was hardly able to take another look when the waitress they’d been served by plenty of times before hurried up to them with a beam.
“Welcome back,” she greeted them, brandishing two menus at them. “It’s been a while.”
“It has been,” Asher nodded, taking both menus with his free hand. The waitress’ eyes flickered down to where their hands were still joined and her smile widened.
“Inside or outside today?” she asked genially.
Lila hadn’t decided what would be best. She exchanged a look with Asher before gesturing at him to pick.
“Is the spot outside that we usually sit in free?” he queried.
The waitress craned her neck as she looked through the window. “Seems like it. There’re heaters outside as well if you need them.”
“Thanks,” Asher smiled. The waitress inclined her head before leading them outside. Lila’s eyes drifted towards the barista station and saw, with a small jump of her heart, that Marlene, her back turned to them and hair once more in a braid, was busy at the barista station. It looked like the coffee she was working on had her full focus and Lila quickened her pace.
“As usual, you can order through the QR code,” the waitress said as she poured them both glasses of water. “The kitchen’s lunch menu is open, otherwise the all-day breakfast is also available.”
“Thanks,” Asher and Lila said simultaneously. They shared a glance before the waitress grinned and headed back inside.
“She seems invested in us,” Asher commented as he opened his menu.
“She does. It’s kinda funny, though, since the last time we were here, we weren’t dating,” Lila said delicately. He looked up at her, his expression mystifying.
“… We… weren’t. But we pretended we were,” he said quietly. “I wish it hadn’t been pretending, back then.”
Lila paused. Asher had gone along with the idea that they were dating at the time, but he had still been dating Holly. From her recollection, their last visit was just before he’d found out about Holly’s cheating, too.
She reached over and intertwined his fingers in hers. “I understand what you mean, but that was then.” She paused again before rubbing her thumb against his knuckles. His eyes were glued to hers and the level of attention he was paying to her made her feel slightly flustered. “Now, we’re free to do anything we want as a couple.”
He swallowed audibly before tearing his eyes away from hers. “Almost… anything.”
She squeezed his hand. “Hey, you haven’t even kissed me today.”
His eyes flickered to hers before he took his hand back, the corners of his mouth twitching as though he was suppressing a smile. “I thought about it, back at home. But I also thought the faster we get here the better since if I had kissed you, I don’t think I would’ve wanted to leave.”
She pressed her lips together, trying not to show that the thought was conjuring a mental image that she wished to put into reality.
“You’ll just have to make up for lost time when we do go back to yours,” she settled on saying, training her eyes on the menu before her. “Otherwise, I’d start to think you don’t want to kiss me.”
“Of course I do,” Asher said quickly, taking her hand into his again. “You know that.”
She gave him a playful smile, which appeared to ease his desperate expression. “You’ll have to prove it.”
His cheeks reddened as he stared down at his menu. “Alright.”
Lila felt satisfied that she’d teased him enough, so she didn’t say anything more as she perused the menu. There were plenty of good options for lunch – so much so that she was almost overwhelmed.
“It’s just after 11,” Lila observed, glancing at Asher before reading some more items from the menu. “Is it too early for lunch?”
“Nah,” he replied after clearing his throat. “Who said lunch has to start at a certain time, anyway?”
“True. What do you want?” she questioned after a pause, casting another look at him.
“W-What do I want?” he repeated, sounding unsure of himself. She gestured to the menu and his body relaxed in his chair. “Oh. Uh, I reckon the beef burger looks good.”
“Hmm,” Lila murmured, reading the inclusions for the beef burger. It admittedly did look good – but so did the chicken schnitzel with a parmigiana topping.
“I reckon I’ll go with the chicken parmy,” she said with a tone of finality. “Feeling pretty hungry.”
Asher pulled out his phone and passed it to her. “Order off mine.”
“That would mean that you’d pay,” she frowned.
“And?”
“Well, I invited you-”
“And?”
“So I should-”
He shook his head. “Let me. Please?”
She still felt reluctant but, under his piercing gaze, she picked the items she wanted and handed him back his phone.
“Thanks,” he smiled. He tapped on it a few times before turning his screen off. “Ordered.”
“Thanks,” she said, “I’ll send-”
“Nothing. You’ll send nothing.”
“Asher-”
“Lila. You’re the one who just said we’re free to do anything we want as a couple. And I, as your boyfriend, would love to buy your lunch.” His eyes were defiant. It seemed that he was starting to become stubborn on the topic.
“Okay, okay,” Lila said, raising her hands in surrender. “You win. I’ll get it next time.”
He eyed her for a moment longer. “Maybe.”
“Asher, I don’t want to inconvenience you with paying for me. Besides, I want to pay for you, too.”
“Lila,” he said seriously, his face matching his tone, “how much money do you have?”
She felt her face flush with embarrassment. “I have enough.”
“How do you even get more money?”
“I… get an allowance from my parents.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Is it a lot?”
“It’s enough.”
“Lila, you know I get a butt-load of money from my parents, right?”
“Yeah, but it’s not as if I’m destitute.”
“It’s not necessarily about that. I’m just saying you don’t have to worry about inconveniencing me. I happen to enjoy knowing that I can pay for you, you know.”
“What, like a power trip?”
He leaned forwards, sustaining eye contact with her as he did so. “Exactly like a power trip.”
“That… sounds controlling,” she said after a moment. For some reason, with the intensity of his gaze and the way he’d said that, she was finding it hard to gather herself.
“Did you think I wasn’t?” he replied, raising an eyebrow again. “I thought we’d well established that I get freaked out if I’m not in control.”
“Well… I hadn’t thought that applied to me,” she responded awkwardly.
He gave her a small smile. “I hope I’m not controlling in that sense. You can tell me if I am. But… for everything else, I have to be a bit of a control freak. No way to be the Dux if I’m all loosey-goosey about studying. Discipline is just as important, after all.” He pursed his lips slightly before sighing. “You can spot me next time.”
She shook her head. “It… does make me happy when you want to do that kind of stuff for me. I just don’t want you to resent me, or think I’m just using you for your money or whatever. And I wanna do stuff for you, too. I-” she stopped herself, feeling her face instantly turn scarlet. Was this the moment to tell him?
“You?”
“I… l-like seeing you happy,” she squeaked, her eyes fixed on their table. “So, if I can make you happy like how you make me happy, by doing things for me, then I’ll have accomplished my goal.”
“I see…” he trailed off, his tone thoughtful. “I suppose it makes sense. I hope you know that just being with me makes me happy, though.”
The pounding of her heart was beginning to drown out his words. “I-I know.”
“So you don’t have to especially do anything for me.”
“Nor you.”
“Nor me.” He sighed again, shaking his head. “I’m not used to this.”
“To… what?”
He froze before his expression tightened uncomfortably. “Nothing.”
She looked at him doubtfully.
“I guess I can’t back out of this one,” he said reluctantly. “I hate it when I do that.”
“Do what?”
“Compare our relationship to… what mine was like with Holly.”
“Oh.” A strange icy feeling began to take hold of Lila and she instinctively clasped her hands together to keep them warm. What was he trying to say?
“When… I was with her, she’d hardly say a word against me buying things for her. Occasionally, she’d beat me to the punch when we’d have food, but we never had any conversations like this. I was happy enough to just carry on and buy whatever she wanted since she’d be really happy afterwards. But, with you, well… I’ve never encountered this situation before, especially since not many people besides my family want to do things for me, so I don’t know what to do. It… you’re stumping me – especially since it doesn’t seem like you’re unhappy when I do or get things for you. And I’m finding that I quite like that, and the way you challenge me and my mind.”
Lila remained quiet for a few moments, processing what he’d said. She squeezed her hands together before exhaling gently. “Is… it a good comparison?”
“Is that what you’re worried about?”
“Well… at first, I thought I was doing something wrong – but it seems like I was doing something right instead. So, I guess my only worry is that… if you’re comparing me with her, that it’s a good comparison.”
“Fuck,” he muttered, placing a hand on his forehead in annoyance. “This is exactly why I feel like an idiot for doing this.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“I know, I know. Look, Lila, you don’t need to worry, which is easier said than done. I don’t mean to make you feel insecure, or less than – if anything, it’s the complete opposite. All the comparisons my stupid brain makes are good. I-”
“The cappuccino?”
Both Lila and Asher jumped at the sound of their waitress’ voice. Lila had almost forgotten that they were actually in ‘Beans & Biscuits’ – and that they needed to be keeping tabs on Marlene, not talking endlessly about their relationship.
“Uh, yeah, that’s mine,” Asher said, sitting up and collecting their menus. A steaming mug was set before him, and the waitress wordlessly placed Lila’s hot chocolate in front of her.
“I’ll grab those menus off you,” the waitress smiled. Asher handed them over and she headed back towards the inside of the café.
The silence started to get to Lila as they stared at their drinks. It felt strange to go back to talking about something so… well, she wasn’t actually sure what to call it. But leaving it also felt strange.
Asher tapped the table for a second before reaching for both of her hands.
“I’m really sorry,” he murmured as he squeezed her hands in his. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you, and I feel like I’ve been doing that a lot lately.”
“As long as you’re sure I’m not worse than her,” she replied simply, taking her hands back and absently picking at her nails as she continued. “You’re not wrong about me feeling insecure, but that’s just me anyway.”
“I doubt it. If I wasn’t an idiot who kept saying shit like this, you’d have no reason to feel insecure.”
He seemed to be falling into moodiness, with the way he glared at his cappuccino, so she placed a hand on his.
“Asher, let’s drop it for now. We’ve got other reasons for being here.”
“You’re right,” he sighed, taking the complimentary cookie next to his cappuccino and dipping it. He popped it into his mouth before tilting his head. “Have you ever seen cappuccinos with art on them?”
Lila looked over at his cup and saw that there was indeed art on top of his coffee. To Lila, it looked like three coffee beans that had been created via a stencil and the chocolate powder that was customary for a cappuccino. She shrugged. “I mean, why not? Maybe they’re really into the ‘Beans & Biscuits’ theme.”
She tested the side of her mug with her fingertips before deciding that it would be okay to take a drink. She was instantly reminded of the hot chocolates that Gabriel made, sans the whipped marshmallow. The rich, decadent warmth seemed to reach all the way to her fingertips and toes as she took another sip.
“That’s really good,” she smiled, nudging it towards Asher. “Try it.”
He seemed surprised but took a sip without protest. His eyes sparkled as he set her cup down. “Damn. I feel like I’m going to go on a sugar high just from that sip alone.”
She laughed as she took it back from him. He grinned and began stirring his cappuccino. She was glad that they had moved on from their previous conversation – back into something lighthearted. This was much better.
She turned her eyes over to the window, looking into the café. There were quite a number of people now – likely the lunch rush. Marlene’s back was facing Lila, and she seemed incredibly busy. As Lila continued to watch, order after order was taken off the espresso machine and Marlene would slap her hand against the bell on the counter, which would spring the waitresses and waiters into action.
“I don’t think I’d like to be a barista,” Lila observed in a low voice to Asher.
“Why’s that?” he asked, sipping his cappuccino.
“It just seems so busy,” Lila replied frankly. “I mean, I don’t think Marlene’s even had a moment to breathe in there.”
“Surely not every café is like that.”
“Maybe, but I’m also not the biggest fan of coffee.”
“Huh,” Asher uttered, leaning back in his chair. “Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you have coffee.”
“Busted.”
“Is it the bitterness?”
Lila shrugged. “Maybe? Just never really been interested. I’ve tried it, but I decided I could live without it.”
“That’s fair.”
Her eyes flickered back to the window. Marlene still looked run off her feet, so Lila scanned what she could of the patrons inside. If Marlene had an accomplice, were they sitting there now?
A family of four which included young children were sitting near where the Uni student had sat, which made Lila shudder. What happened to him? Had Marlene actually killed him? He was nowhere in sight now, though Lila probably wouldn’t come back to the place where her attacker worked afterwards either.
She took another sip of her hot chocolate as she continued to survey the café. The table next to the family was cleared, which gave Lila a better line of sight of Marlene. It just seemed like an ordinary Friday.
Lila was starting to doubt her insistence on watching Marlene again today. Perhaps they should’ve stayed at Asher’s after all. Lila sighed in disappointment.
“I’m guessing nothing’s going on behind me?” Asher asked quietly. Lila shook her head.
“Looks like an ordinary day. She’s been really busy though.”
Asher looked thoughtful. Lila was about to speak again when she saw their waitress approaching with two plates of food. She straightened up and moved her cup aside in preparation to receive her lunch.
“The chicken parmy?” the waitress asked, looking between them both.
“That’s me, thanks,” Lila smiled. The waitress set it down in front of Lila before setting down Asher’s burger in front of him.
“Was that everything?” the waitress queried politely.
“For now, yes thanks,” Asher replied with a nod. The waitress returned the nod and moved to the empty table behind theirs, resetting it with an efficiency that could only come with plenty of experience.
“It’s interesting that she’s been here for so long,” Lila commented as she started to cut up her schnitzel. “I thought most hospitality places had quick turnovers.”
“Must mean it’s a good environment. Did you want a bite?”
They both separated some food out for each other before eating in contented silence. Her schnitzel had the right amount of savoury flavours alongside the sharp, slightly sweet taste of tomato sauce underneath the cheese.
Every so often, she would look into the window again and see nothing of interest. Eventually, the family moved on, and a lone man took the empty place beside their table full of dishes and clutter. From what Lila could see, he was dressed in a long-sleeved, button-up shirt. He took off a leather cross-body bag, which he placed next to him, before sitting down. She thought it strange at first, given the general patronage of the café today, but figured he’d stopped work early or there was an office nearby that she was unaware of. Her lunch was certainly tasty enough to lure anyone this way if they had the opportunity.
Lila continued to eat, the amount of food filling her up nicely. She was beginning to wonder if she’d make the walk back without bursting at the seams.
“Gee, you’ve powered through that parmy,” Asher said incredulously, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
“I reckon I’ve overeaten already,” Lila lamented, patting her stomach. “You might need to roll me back to yours.”
Asher laughed heartily. “How about I just carry you?”
“I’ll be too heavy.”
“I’ve done it before.”
“Not with the addition of a fat parmy.”
He chuckled and she grinned at him. Despite her complaints, she nibbled on one of the remaining pieces of her food, casting another contented glance around.
Another family replaced the previous one inside the establishment and Lila idly watched them strap a fussy infant into a high chair.
“The food’s that good that you’re still smiling?” Asher queried lightly. Lila’s eyes darted to his before looking back at the family.
“Yes, and no. That baby is standing its ground over there,” she smiled. “It’s pretty entertaining.”
He briefly looked behind him before looking back at Lila. “Everyone involved is pretty valiant. It’s an impressive standoff.”
It was Lila’s turn to chuckle. She watched as the baby arched its back against the highchair, its face pink with unrestrained fury. Despite how much she was enjoying the show, though, something else caught her attention.
The man next to the family received a steaming mug from Marlene herself.
Lila dropped her fork in surprise, jolting Asher in his seat.
“What, what?” His voice was alarmed as he wildly looked around.
“Marlene just gave someone a drink,” Lila whispered, her eyes glued to what was playing out before her.
“Is… that not her job?” Asher asked, his tone now bemused.
“No – well, yes, but she just gave one to a customer.”
“Is that still not her job?”
Lila pressed her lips together firmly to prevent her exasperation from leaking out. It looked like Marlene was talking to the man for a moment before letting out a laugh which she delicately covered with her left hand. Then, she turned around and was back behind the espresso machine as though nothing happened.
“Does Marlene have a boyfriend?” Lila asked after a moment.
“A what?” Asher turned entirely, facing the window Lila was looking through. She grabbed his shoulder and twisted him back around.
“You’re being obvious,” she hissed.
“S-Sorry.”
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Lila peered into the window once more. The man was sipping on his cup. Nothing in his demeanour hinted to Lila that he thought it was strange that the barista personally handed him a drink, and there was no reaction from any of the other staff members either. Did… this guy visit regularly? Enough so that the staff knew who he was and didn’t mind Marlene running drinks out to him, even though that wasn’t her usual job?
Lila couldn’t recall seeing him before, but it had been several months since their last visit. Perhaps he was a new regular?
Or… was he Marlene’s accomplice?
Lila wished she’d been able to get a better look at him, but all she could see, aside from his business shirt, was his tidy-looking brown hair – a description that fit most of the males she’d seen in her life. In saying that, the tidiness seemed to be helped by some kind of hair product. Not every brown-haired male wore hair products.
It was starting to frustrate her – this mystery man and his connection to Marlene. Did they even have a connection? She seemed just as busy now as she had been earlier when she was almost constantly hitting the bell to tell the waiters and waitresses that drinks were ready. Did she just happen to have a spare moment to personally hand out a drink and ultimately chose this man by chance?
“Did… you want to get something else?” Asher questioned in a low voice. “So we stay longer? And before you fight me, I’ll pay. It’s part of lunch.”
Lila considered the suggestion, her previous fire in insisting she should buy their lunch now falling short given the mystery lying before her. “… Sure. Just a drink, though.”
“Juice, I’m guessing?”
“Sounds perfect. Thank you, Asher.”
He gave her a broad smile before tapping on his phone. She mindlessly picked at the remaining bits of food on her plate, her eyes flickering to the man every so often. He remained peacefully seated, taking sips of his mug here and there. Since his back was facing her, she couldn’t see whether he might’ve been working on a laptop, reading, or doing something else to otherwise occupy himself while drinking his coffee.
Their waitress reappeared, passing along their juice and clearing their now-empty plates, and Lila still observed the man through the window.
“I feel like if you had laser eyes, he’d be dead by now,” Asher joked after a few minutes of sustained silence. Lila sighed deeply, taking a sip of her juice.
“Probably. Pretty glad I don’t have laser eyes.”
“I’m sure he’s glad, too. Nothing else happen?”
“Nothing at all. I’m starting to think I hallucinated it.”
“Doubt it, but I get what you mean.”
She drank some more of her juice before sighing once more. “Thanks, Asher. For being so patient.”
“You make it sound like we haven’t sat here for the entirety of her shifts before,” Asher replied. “Besides, some time in the outside world with you isn’t anything for me to complain about.”
She reached over, taking his hand in hers. “Let’s go on that date to the bookstore in the city.”
“Tomorrow?”
Lila almost agreed straight away – but she was reminded of her Dad’s request for her and Clare to talk to their Mum this weekend after camp. Truthfully, she still didn’t want to talk to her Mum, but, after all the time Lila had spent avoiding Grace that week, she wasn’t sure she could handle also avoiding her Mum any longer either.
“Dad said that Clare and I should talk to Mum this weekend,” Lila replied reluctantly. “I don’t know if I should commit to a date just yet. If it’s fine with you, I might just see how it all goes. Besides, I want to get some info out of my Dad about the investigation where I can, and he can sometimes be a bit slippery.”
“Always got next weekend,” Asher nodded. “No stress. Though, I would like to see you.”
“Me too. Well, that I’d like to see you. I can see myself at any time.”
He smirked and she returned it with one of her own. “Especially if I get to hear jokes like that,” he added.
They finished their juices with Lila once more carefully surveying the inside of the café. Marlene still seemed almost chaotically busy, and Lila had noticed a generally gradual increase in the number of patrons. Perhaps this was the real lunch rush.
With nothing else of note – not even a glance in the man’s direction from Marlene – Lila was beginning to think that it was just a strange coincidence. In fact, the man stood without any acknowledgement to anyone else, placing his hands in his dark navy pants pockets and strolling towards the exit.
Lila felt a bit disappointed as she twisted in her seat, trying to take a better look at the man. Aside from looking like he was in his early-to-mid 30s, she couldn’t identify anything that made him stand out. In a way, that could make him exceptional – exceptionally generic. She supposed that he could be considered decent-looking enough to be Marlene’s boyfriend – if that’s who he was.
He headed down the street, his hands still in his pockets, and out of view. She checked the time. It was getting close to 12pm. Marlene would be finishing up in an hour-
Or would she? Lila squinted at the barista station. It was empty. Was Marlene hand-delivering another coffee?
“What’s wrong?” Asher asked, placing his empty cup down on the table, a furrowed brow forming on his face.
“She’s… gone.”
“Gone?”
“Wait-”
Just as Lila had said that, Marlene reappeared – in the window facing them. She instinctively ducked low to the table, her heart crashing against her chest in her haste to do so.
“Talk about me being obvious,” Asher commented idly, looking down at her with a fond smile. She immediately felt her face flush with embarrassment in response.
“You’re right,” she whispered shamefully, peering over his shoulder. Marlene was walking away from the window, her hoodie on and a bag over her shoulder.
“Why is she-”
Before Lila could finish her sentence, Marlene paused by the barista station. Then, she turned towards the front door and briskly walked out of the café altogether.
Lila instantly stood up, the force shaking the cups on their table.
“Wh-”
“We gotta go,” she said urgently, taking Asher’s hand and pulling him up. “She just left.”
“What? Her shift’s still-”
“I know – we gotta go.”
They speed-walked to the inside of the establishment, with Lila’s eyes fixed on the door that Marlene had exited through. The tinkle of the bell signalled their own departure and they both continued to hurry along the road towards Asher’s place.
Marlene was just ahead, walking with some measure of efficiency. With someone as reliable as Marlene in her scheduling, leaving early like this was sparking a million-and-one questions in Lila’s mind.
Lila and Asher silently kept their distance from Marlene as they had done in the past. There was something oddly familiar about the bag slung over Marlene’s shoulder…
Come to think of it, the man that she’d seen in the window – had he taken his bag with him?
‘No… he walked out with his hands in his pockets – but no bag…’ Lila recollected with a severe frown. The bag around Marlene seemed bulky – leather, like the one Lila had seen the man enter with. Actually, from this distance, with the details Lila could see, it looked like a modern briefcase. Was it just part of Marlene’s style? Surely it wasn’t the same bag?
She placed a hand on her chin, her thoughts swirling even more than before – enough that she could hardly catch any of them. Did they know each other after all? What was in the bag? Lila couldn’t remember if Marlene had ever taken a bag with her to the café. She didn’t want to ask Asher, for fear of alerting Marlene to their presence, so she instead tried to focus on those memories.
Her mind’s eye wasn’t conjuring any imagery of Marlene with a bag – or not. Instead, it seemed to focus on her glasses, her braid, and her hoodie – things that Lila hadn’t really seen Marlene wear besides at her job at the café. Why were these the aspects taking up the space in her brain?
She shook her head – she’d just have to ask Asher if he remembered whether Marlene took a bag to work. For now, they needed to see where Marlene was going.
So, Lila continued to think about what could be going on. If it was the mysterious man’s bag, perhaps Marlene had collected it and left to give it back to him? Ending a shift early, in that case, made sense – if she had noticed the bag, then dashing out as quickly as possible to find him again to return it might be the only solution in circumstances where there were no contact details for the bag’s owner.
But… looking at Marlene, there didn’t seem to be enough urgency for this theory to be the right one.
Marlene also didn’t look suspicious in the slightest. There was no furtiveness about her – absolutely nothing in her body language to suggest that the bag across her body wasn’t one that she owned. Actually, she looked quite chuffed, almost on the verge of skipping. Maybe she was going to the man’s place? Or was she simply that happy to be leaving work early?
Luckily for Lila and Asher, there was also nothing to suggest that she noticed their presence behind her.
It didn’t take long to determine that the pathway Marlene was walking along was exactly the same as the one she took to return to the cottage behind Asher’s place. So… with that, Marlene ended her shift early to purely go home? Could she be unwell? Well – that didn’t seem to fit either, what with her decidedly perky demeanour. So, what was the reason?
Lila and Asher simultaneously slowed their pace as Marlene turned down Asher’s street. Just as Lila had thought, Marlene headed up the driveway of Asher’s place, moving the bag ever so slightly that the bag itself hung behind her, rather than next to her hip. They remained at the bottom of the driveway for a few moments, ensuring that Marlene had closed the side gate beside the mansion before heading up to the front doors themselves.
Asher wordlessly unlocked the front doors and they both removed their shoes before heading inside. Lila was still racking her brains for any kind of solution to any of her questions as she drifted behind Asher, letting him lead her to the rumpus room.
“We’re home,” Asher called out to the empty kitchen. Gabriel popped his head out of the butler’s pantry as they passed with a warm smile.
“Welcome back. I hope you had a good lunch?”
“Yeah. Almost had to hire a wheelbarrow to take Lila home,” Asher joked.
“Well, that’s rude,” Lila joked back. He turned to wink at her as Gabriel let out a deep belly laugh.
“I’ll try to keep dinner light, then,” Gabriel chuckled.
“I’ll need it,” Lila grinned. Then, a question occurred to her, with the mention of dinner. She didn’t want to ask her Mum to pick her up, and it was a Friday – a day that was usually spotty at best to count on Clare to pick her up, given her work at Coolisimo.
“Is Clare still banned from working?” Lila asked before Gabriel could slink away into the butler’s pantry. He paused before sighing.
“You make it sound as though she’d done something wrong, Lila,” he said gently, stepping outside the butler’s pantry. Lila noticed that his injured finger was still wrapped in a large number of bandages as he rested both hands on the counter between them, his eyes looking at the empty sink for a moment. “I had her rostered on for bartending last night, but she wasn’t ready.”
Wasn’t ready? What did-
“She sent herself home,” Gabriel continued, now looking intently at Lila. “She’s told some of the girls more or less what happened – that your mother found out and disapproves. She said that… although she loves working at the club, stepping inside after their fight made her anxious even though it wasn’t for dancing. She called me in tears, apologising.”
That didn’t sound good at all. Lila folded her arms across her chest. Should she go home now and see Clare?
“I suggested another week off, which she agreed with. She also asked me to not tell you, but I can’t help myself. You’re just so coercive.”
He gave Lila a small smile – one that showed his coercive comment was made in jest. It also showed that he was poorly attempting to mask his worry.
“Thanks for telling me, Gabriel,” Lila settled on saying after a moment of digesting his information. “I thought about just going home now, but if she said to not tell me, I’ll have to pretend I don’t know.”
He inclined his head before turning around and shuffling back inside the butler’s pantry.
“You okay?” Asher queried after Gabriel closed the door. Lila glanced at him and gave him a tentative smile.
“Yeah.”
He looked at her dubiously before gesturing towards the stairs. “Let’s head up.”
They did so, with Lila’s concern about Clare increasing with each step. She’d have to check in as soon as possible – but without throwing Gabriel under the bus.
She sat down in her usual spot on Asher’s couch, her mind feeling like it would split into two, what with her theories about Marlene and her worries about Clare battling for her attention.
She barely registered the fact that Asher placed two cups on his coffee table and sat next to her until he tenderly touched her shoulder.
“You look like you’re going to explode,” he murmured.
“I feel it, too,” Lila replied, her voice sounding rather strained. “I wish I could power down.”
Asher pulled her towards him, smoothly altering his position so that he was lying down on the couch. He cradled her against his chest, his light touch allowing her to melt completely in his arms.
“Thinking too much can be a trap,” he said softly. “You can either let it all out or rest for a while. There’s no rush.”
She pressed herself into his chest. The rhythmic sound of his heartbeat was soothing, and the way he held her felt like something she wanted to cherish forever. Minutes passed in total silence before she found her voice again.
“… Asher?”
“Yes?”
She lifted herself up from his chest, looking into his eyes. In this bubble, consisting of just the two of them in the peaceful quiet of his rumpus room, she thought she could be brave for a moment. Though she’d confessed her feelings for him once before, the crushing weight of these new, deeper feelings was closing in around her throat. It seemed far more frightening, despite the fact that they were now dating. Would he think she was moving too fast? Would he think that she was clingy? She’d heard through rumours and snippets of gossip in the school halls that clinginess was the doom of many relationships. The thought that perhaps she had everything to lose was enough to make her tremble.
He curled one of his hands around one of hers before using the other to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear. “You’re really worried about Clare, aren’t you?”
She sighed in defeat. There was no way she could say something of that magnitude in these conditions. They needed to talk about Marlene and Clare, after all.
“… Yeah. The last time I talked to her about it all, she sounded really determined to go back to work, no matter what Mum and Dad thought. I never would’ve thought she’d feel too anxious to even be inside. She might end up quitting. Which might sound like a solution to the whole ordeal, but I know it’d kill Clare – she’d see it as Mum winning.”
Asher brought her back down to his chest, placing a hand on the small of her back. “You should try and check in with her when you can.”
“I will. She probably won’t tell me much, though. She… tends to hide that kind of stuff from me.”
“That’s a surprise.”
“I think… she has this thing about seeming strong, for Daniel and me. It’s unnecessary, but… it’s always how she’s been. This year has been the first that I’ve felt like she’s been vulnerable with me – and that’s mainly been when she was helping me figure out my own emotions.” Lila was glad that they weren’t directly looking at each other as she said this – particularly since Clare encouraged Lila to tell Asher she loved him after she explained what love felt like to her.
“I think all of you have that tendency to want to seem strong,” Asher murmured, lightly running his fingers through her hair. “It seems like a family trait.”
“That, and being nosy as all hell.”
He chuckled. “Can’t forget that, even if I wanted to.”
Neither spoke for some time, though Asher continued to brush his fingers through her hair. Eventually, she brought her hand to his, halting his movements. Their eyes met.
“Do you… not like it?” he asked in a low, tentative voice.
“I do,” she whispered, propping herself up so that she could see the entirety of his face, “but you promised me something.”
“I feel like I’ve promised you lots of things,” he said softly.
“You might be right,” Lila replied, her eyes flickering to his lips. She faltered. Whenever they kissed, he’d find a way to cut it short. Would it be the same today?
“I think I know what you’re referring to, though,” he smiled. There was a pause – one that felt charged with a suspenseful kind of energy. The look in his eyes seemed different, somehow. As if… there was desire buried within that was on the brink of breaking out. What was he thinking about?
It turned out she didn’t need to ask.
In an instant, he had pulled her down so that their lips were locked together. Though she’d teased him before by asking him to prove how much he wanted to kiss her, it seemed that he’d taken it to heart. A feverish passion had seemingly taken over him as he moved his lips against hers. She matched his pace, the heat emanating from them both increasing by the second.
His hands wandered down her body until meeting her hips. The way he gripped them shot goosebumps through her, the feeling seemingly seeping straight to her bones, and she could feel herself becoming desperate for more of his touch. Once again, he had an uncanny way of knowing what she was thinking as he slipped his hands under her shirt, his fingertips grazing her waist. He clutched her tighter to him as his tongue searched for hers.
An involuntary moan escaped her lips as their tongues met and explored one another. She fell further into the way her body was feeling as they continued without interruption. It seemed that he wasn’t going to cut them off anytime soon. In fact, somehow, it seemed that he was falling into this just as much as she was. Could that mean…
His hands lowered once more – trailing a path down her bare skin that reached even lower than before. She shook ever so slightly in anticipation; where was he going?
Then, he suddenly stopped altogether, breaking off their kiss.
“S-Sorry,” his voice shuddered, now using his hands to gently push her away. “I… can’t.”
Her head spun, her chest falling in dismay. Of course. Just as it always went.
“It’s fine,” she replied, sitting up properly. She saw him clench his jaw before he held her right shoulder.
“It… might be easier for me if I’m… on top,” he stammered, his face cherry-red. She blinked up at him.
“You don’t have to force yourself,” she whispered.
“I want to keep going,” he replied in a similar whisper. “But only… for kissing.”
“Asher, I’m serious. It’s fine-”
He cut her off with another kiss, bringing his body forward so that he was hovering above her. She brought a hand to his face as he tangled his fingers in her hair. This kiss felt hesitant and she almost wanted to stop. Clearly, he was forcing himself to keep going on her behalf.
A second later, however, the kiss morphed into something rough – raw, almost. She couldn’t keep up, instead letting her body take the reins in response. It was forceful – but in a way that showed her how well they fit together, and exposed just a taste of his true desire. It was leaving her breathless, excitingly so. She’d never experienced something quite like this from him and she was finding that she really really liked it.
He broke off again, his chest heaving as if he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs.
“I need to stop,” he said through haggard breaths, sitting back. “It-… I’m losing it.”
“It’s fine if you lose it,” Lila responded quietly, touching the ‘A’ on her chest for comfort. “Really.”
“It’s not,” he shook his head. “Look. I… need more time.”
“Not more kissing practice? It… might get easier.”
He bit his lower lip, his eyes conflicted. “I really don’t know.”
She couldn’t hold her sigh in, which elicited a grimace from him in response. She immediately felt guilty and shuffled backwards on the couch, leaving some distance between them.
“Lila, I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry for pressuring you,” Lila replied seriously.
“You’re not pressuring me.”
“Then what is it? What’s wrong?” She couldn’t keep the quiver out of her voice.
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he said hurriedly. “It’s all me.”
“We keep talking in circles about this,” Lila finally said after a heavy pause. “I’m… tired of it.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Asher. That makes it worse,” she snapped. Upon seeing the flash of hurt on his face, she closed her eyes, hiding them behind her hands. “Sorry.”
Neither spoke for a few moments and she eventually lowered her hands. Then, Asher ran his hands through his hair before standing up.
“I just need a minute.”
He disappeared into his room, closing the door behind him. With nothing else to do, Lila flopped back onto the couch. She couldn’t hold her upset at bay anymore. If… she told him that she loved him, would he think she was trying to manipulate him? To make him feel guilty and give in before he was ready? It wasn’t the case, but a tiny part of her did feel tempted, in case that was what he was missing to at least let them kiss for a little bit longer…
She felt a tear rolling down her face and she brushed it away, anger at herself for being so pitiful rising. It was all so stupid, the way she was feeling. She just wanted to enjoy the physical side of their relationship but each time she was starting to, this happened.
She heard his door open and she sat up, wiping her eyes again to ensure she didn’t have any remaining tears.
“Sorry,” he murmured, sitting next to her.
“It’s okay,” Lila replied, her tone slightly awkward.
“It’s not.”
“It is since it won’t change. So, I have to be okay with it. And if you’re going to say it will change, don’t get my hopes up. I’d rather… be surprised than disappointed.”
“Lila…”
“Can we stop talking about it? Please.”
“… Okay.”
There was silence for quite a while. Then, Asher spoke.
“Uh, well… what did you see at ‘Beans & Biscuits’?”
Lila paused, her posture relaxing into the couch. “Well… there was this guy who came into the café towards the end. He sat by the window, and he had this bag with him. Then, Marlene personally gave him a drink, and it looked like they talked for a moment. Eventually, he left and she came to the window for some reason – then she left an hour before her shift was supposed to end. But… it looked like she was carrying the bag the guy left behind.”
Asher looked unsettled by this. “So she just stole some guy’s bag?”
Lila shrugged. “That’s what it looked like to me. Did she ever take a bag with her to her shifts? Back when we first followed her?”
Asher shook his head. “No. She generally sets off on foot, carrying as little as possible, if anything. I probably would too, if my workplace was so close to my house. What would the point of taking anything be?”
“I see. I… thought at first that maybe she was going to try and give it back to that guy, but she just went home with the bag.”
“What do you reckon’s in it?”
“No idea. It makes me want to break into the cottage again and look for it.”
“I wouldn’t necessarily be against the idea, but at the same time, I think it’s probably not a good one.”
“I know. It’s not like we can directly ask her though.”
It seemed that they’d exhausted all they could on the topic. Without any further information, there wasn’t any conclusion they could reach that would be satisfying in any regard. Who was he? A boyfriend? A murder accomplice? Just a customer? Perhaps Marlene was simply a kleptomaniac and seized the opportunity to take something home when she saw it left behind.
“I think… we should go back,” Asher suggested quietly. Lila glanced at him and he gave her a small smile. “Next Wednesday is the Show holiday. So, we could go see her at the café. Maybe he’ll come back. Or we might find something else out.”
“Yeah. Sounds like a plan.”
Asher pressed his lips together before leaning forwards and grabbing some joycons. “There’s nothing we can really do about it at the moment… so… unless you want to go home now, should we play something?”
A part of her did want to go home – to escape from the slight, lingering awkwardness between them, and to check in on Clare – but she decided to stay, accepting his offer of controllers. Being in his company, despite what happened just before, outweighed this temporary heaviness weighing on her.
It ended up being a good decision, as the discomfort faded in the face of their gaming. The rest of the afternoon proceeded without any more discussion of Clare, Marlene or their physical intimacy – something that Lila appreciated.
At around 6pm, a knock sounded on the rumpus room door. Asher stood and opened it, stepping back to allow Marlene to enter. Lila looked over in surprise. She never normally came in at this time. On her hip was an empty washing basket, and she was dressed in her normal maid attire. Once again, there was nothing about her to suggest that she’d spent her morning working at a café, and definitely nothing to suggest that she’d stolen a bag on the way home.
“Hello, Mr Wagner,” Marlene greeted pleasantly. “Hello, Lila.”
“Hello,” Asher replied warily. “Uh-”
“I’m assuming you have things from camp that you’d like washing?”
“Oh. Right.”
Asher crossed the rumpus room towards their hiking bags with Marlene trailing behind him. He unzipped his bag, pulled bundles of clothes out and placed them into her waiting washing basket. As he was doing this, Lila heard Marlene humming ever-so-slightly.
“Thank you, Mr Wagner. Lila, would you like anything to be washed?”
“I-I’m okay, thank you,” Lila replied swiftly. “I’ll take my stuff home. Thanks for offering.”
Marlene smiled before exiting the rumpus room, her humming growing louder as she closed the door.
Lila exchanged a glance with Asher.
“Does… she normally hum?” Lila questioned.
“Not that I’m aware of. Seems like she’s in a good mood,” Asher responded, his face changing to one of contemplation. “Weird.”
“Is she never in a good mood?”
“Well, she’s normally pretty neutral. It was almost like… we saw a shadow of the Quack Queen, rather than Marlene the housemaid.”
“The Quack Queen…” Lila muttered, placing a hand on her chin. “She seems to talk about her personal interests when she’s streaming. Maybe she’ll mention something in one of her streams. Like maybe seeing her boyfriend, or something good happening?”
Asher sat back down next to her, grabbing his phone. “Maybe. I’m just checking her schedule real quick.”
He tapped on his phone before looking up at Lila again. “She’s streaming tonight, 10.30pm to 2am.”
“Looks like I’ll be tuning in to that when I get home.”
“You don’t have to. I’ll watch it-”
“I want to. I’m nosy, remember?” Besides, she wasn’t quite sure whether she’d be able to fall asleep anyway.
He seemed reluctant before nodding. “Alright. I’ll watch too. Better that both of us watch, in case one of us misses something.”
“Sounds good.”
With that, they continued with their gaming, though Lila was still thinking about Marlene’s odd behavioural changes. Was it from seeing that man at the café? Scoring a bag? Or… was Lila just feeling hypercritical of Marlene, given the selfie she’d seen of Piper featuring a feminine figure in the farmhouse?
They were called down for dinner not long after. As promised, it was light – a noodle soup consisting of generously seasoned chicken and plenty of seasonal veggies, sans the offending veggie that Gabriel had cut himself on per his proud announcement once they sat down. Marlene didn’t join them for dinner, though she did help set up the dinner table. Dessert was a homemade apple crumble slathered with cream and cinnamon.
By the time Lila asked Clare to pick her up, to which Clare agreed within seconds, she was feeling far more content – something which was necessary to prepare herself to ask Clare about what happened last night when she sent herself home from Coolisimo.
Asher carried Lila’s hiking bag down when the time came, his face a complicated mix of emotions as he opened the front doors for Lila.
“I… know you mentioned going to the bookstore,” he said quietly as they exited into the cool night air, heading towards Clare’s waiting car. “I might’ve ruined that-”
“You will if you keep mentioning things like that,” Lila replied, though not unkindly. She’d managed to put it far behind her throughout the afternoon and night. “I’ll let you know tomorrow after I get home from practice. I need to ask Dad what happened over the week if he’s at home. If I get the answers, then I’m sure we can go on Sunday.”
He nodded before opening the back passenger door, greeting Clare and placing Lila’s hiking bag inside the car.
“I’ll wait for your message,” he said softly. “Goodnight, Lila.”
He stepped back but Lila took his hand, halting his progress. “Hang on. You’re forgetting something,” she said coyly.
He looked confused. “Did you have two hiking bags?”
“No,” Lila shook her head emphatically. “I can’t leave without a goodnight kiss, though.”
He looked relieved. “Right, right. Of course not. I’d almost thought-”
“Shut up and kiss me. Please.”
He did just that – a small, tender kiss; sweet enough for a goodbye, and to slowly rewrite her disappointment with today’s other kisses.
“Goodnight, Asher,” she smiled once it was over, lightly touching the ‘A’ on her chest. “We’ll see each other at the game tomorrow, at least.”
“Yeah. See you then.”