Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Five

Clare seemed unusually quiet on the way home, and her EDM beats weren’t as loud either. Though Lila figured that it had something to do with what Gabriel had told her, she couldn’t quite work out how to approach the subject in a way that didn’t out his failure to keep it a secret.

“So… how was your week?” Lila settled on asking after a minute or so of silent driving.

“Fine,” Clare replied, her tone evasive.

“What’d you get up to?”

“Not much. Just Uni and hanging out with Alex.” Clare’s tone continued to be evasive, her eyes fixed on the road in front of them.

Lila sighed. She’d have to be more direct, it seemed. “It’s… been more than a week since the whole blow-up with Mum,” she said quietly. “Have you got any shifts lined up?”

She saw Clare cast her a suspicious glance but tried not to react. It was Clare’s turn to sigh.

“I… did. But I ended up getting someone else to cover them.”

“I see. Um, any reason why?”

“Gabriel couldn’t help himself, could he?” Clare muttered in defeat.

“W-What do you mean?”

“Lila, you’re shit at this whole nonchalant questioning thing.” She sighed again. “I wasn’t being serious when I asked him not to tell you. I already knew he would. He’s too kind a person to just leave it at the Club.”

‘So much for trying to be delicate,’ Lila thought. She didn’t want to confirm or deny Clare’s accusation, so didn’t say anything at all for a few moments. It was enough time for Clare to give her another glance before speaking.

“I’m not sure what Gabriel told you, but I freaked out yesterday. I was meant to do a shift at the bar. Alex wasn’t on, which at first made me feel better since I didn’t want him to see me so stressed. But as soon as I clocked on, I realised I couldn’t do it at all and I really needed him. Mum’s words just kept running through my head – I couldn’t think. It almost sent me into a panic attack. I… went over to Alex’s afterwards and cried for a while.”

“Why aren’t you with him now?” Lila asked, her worry increasing. Surely being at home after that was a terrible idea.

“You were coming home,” Clare shrugged.

“Clare, you should be with Alex. Clearly, you’re not okay.”

Clare simply smiled at Lila, though her eyes were filled with apprehension.

“Clare-”

“Dad told me yesterday, before my shift, that Mum wants to talk to us tomorrow.”

Tomorrow? Lila knew that they’d need to talk to her, but tomorrow felt too soon. She started picking at her nails, the sudden anxiety from Clare’s words hunching her shoulders.

“So I thought I should be home,” Clare added. “I don’t want her to ambush you by yourself.”

“Thanks,” Lila murmured. “Not that you should be ambushed either.”

“Didn’t work out last time, did it?” Clare gave a hollow laugh, which caused Lila to give her a sharp look. “Don’t look at me like that. If I don’t joke about it, I’ll go insane.”

Lila forced herself to look away.

“How was camp?” Clare queried after a minute or so of awkward silence.

“It was good,” Lila replied noncommittally.

“Did you manage to tell Asher that you love him?”

Lila groaned, placing her hands over her face. “No.”

“Feels like there’s a story behind that.”

“I’ve… been trying,” Lila’s voice was muffled.

“Lila, it seems like you feel ashamed that you can’t,” Clare observed frankly. “There’s no shame in taking your time.”

Lila looked up at Clare, who gave her an encouraging smile before turning her eyes back to the road.

“Clare, did you tell Alex?”

Clare didn’t respond.

“Clare?”

Clare tightened her grip on the steering wheel. “… Yeah.”

“Why does it seem like it went badly?”

Clare shook her head, though Lila saw a tear make its way down her face. She sat up straight in alarm.

“Why’re you crying, then?”

“I don’t know,” Clare whined, “I’m just feeling emotional!”

“Did he-”

“He said it back.”

“And that makes you cry?”

“I don’t know!”

“Jesus, Clare, now I don’t want to tell Asher!”

“No, no, you should,” Clare sniffled, wiping away the tear Lila had seen. “Really.”

Lila looked at her doubtfully. “Not if I’m going to cry about it. I already did that when he asked me to be his girlfriend and felt like an idiot.”

“It’s happy tears, so it’s not a bad thing,” Clare insisted, wiping yet another tear away.

“You don’t look happy.”

“Love’s hard, Lila. So’s being vulnerable. I told you that I wouldn’t tell him anytime soon, but I couldn’t keep it in anymore after he rescued me from my attempted shift yesterday. I was really scared, but it turned out that I didn’t need to be. I’m just emotional – from the relief of knowing that it worked out.”

“You’re hardly ever emotional.” Lila almost added that the first time in a long time she’d seen Clare be emotional was after the fight with Mum, but held her tongue.

Clare snorted. “You think so?”

“Well… it’s not like you really show it to me or Daniel if you can help it.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’d panic – like you did just now. Are you emotional with Daniel?”

“Not… really.”

“It’s a big sister thing,” Clare smiled, the emotion – whatever it was – marring the colour around her eyes. “Sorry for freaking you out. You should tell Asher you love him.”

Lila lightly pressed her head against the headrest. “I won’t. Not for a while, anyway.”

“Lila, they’re happy te-”

“I’m not refusing to because you got emotional. I just… don’t think it’s a good idea for the moment.”

“Did something happen?”

Lila felt her face redden. “No.”

“Is it to do with the whole Asher not being ready to have sex thing?”

“Kinda,” Lila uttered, staring out the window again. “He… keeps saying that he wants to, but he’s not ready. When we kiss, he’ll often stop us because it’s getting too much for him. So… while I want to tell him that I love him, I guess part of me is worried that he’ll think I’m just saying it to guilt trip him into doing more with me.”

Clare was silent for a moment. “I’m guessing another part of you wants to say it so that he does give in, too.”

Lila felt incredibly uncomfortable. Having that thought exposed so casually by Clare made it harder to reconcile in her mind that, yes, she was thinking something so awful.

“I’d think the same,” Clare said plainly. “But, since you love him, you probably shouldn’t weaponise that.”

“I know,” Lila grimaced. “It just gets so disappointing, being cut off all the time.”

“I don’t think I’d have the patience for that,” Clare replied sagely. “He’s obviously worth it to you, though.”

“… Yeah.”

“Still, you’d think he might want to get a move on, considering what happened with the last girlfriend.”

Nausea settled in the pit of Lila’s stomach. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not saying that you’d cheat on him,” Clare clarified hurriedly, “but I’m surprised that he doesn’t seem at least a little bit worried about you going for someone else who’ll give you what you want.”

“I want him, Clare-”

“I know that. All I’m saying is that I would’ve thought he’d go for it as soon as you said you wanted to so that you might not seek it elsewhere. Like, same-day kinda thing. It’s why I was practically running to get you the Pill. Makes me wonder what’s going on in that mind of his. Something’s holding him back that outweighs that fear, at least. Or maybe he’s not thinking about that.”

Lila thought back to what Livi had said to Asher – ‘Hope this one doesn’t cheat on you since you’re so frigid’ – and his reaction to that. She had allayed his fears at the time but, knowing him, he probably still thought about it every now and then.

“All I want right now is to be able to kiss him without fearing that he’ll stop before I’ve had the chance to enjoy it. I don’t even need to go further than that,” Lila murmured. “I already said we don’t have to do more, but this isn’t even more… it’s just finishing what we started. And he said we could keep kissing, but it doesn’t feel that way if he just stops all the time.”

“It’s a unique problem, that’s for sure,” Clare responded, her tone kind. “I don’t have any real advice for you.”

“Just having you listen is enough for me,” Lila said quietly. “It makes me feel less insane, anyway.”

“You’re definitely not insane,” Clare said firmly. “I agree with you, though. Telling him that you love him right now while you’re struggling with this could lead him to the wrong conclusion – especially if you want him to be ready on his own accord.”

“… Yeah. Thanks, Clare.”

“It’s what I’m here for,” Clare smiled. “Now, what did happen at camp?”

Lila recapped a couple of the activities whilst carefully avoiding any mention of the awkwardness with Grace. She also updated Clare on the situation with Isaac and Elise – specifically, that Isaac told Elise that he liked some girl called Anika from Maccas. Clare was suitably appalled by this and reached the same conclusion Asher had – that Isaac had panicked in the moment when Elise asked him who he had a crush on.

They giggled over some of the funnier stories – including the fact that Lila had ditched Dorothy with Michael – before Lila sighed. They weren’t far from home now, which meant she needed to sort out her hockey things and get ready to watch Marlene’s stream.

“By the way, Clare, did you end up checking in on Daniel?”

“Huh? Oh. Right. You asked me to do that. Well… I did try. But he seemed normal.”

“Did he go to school every day?”

Clare looked at her like she’d spoken in Gaelic. “Why wouldn’t he?”

“Dad said that from mid-week, he might need to stay home.”

“I didn’t know you could plan illnesses in advance. Maybe I should ask him how to manage that for Uni,” Clare joked.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m guessing he didn’t stay home, though?”

“Not as far as I’m aware. Should he have?”

“Not necessarily.”

“You know how I said you were shit at the whole nonchalant questioning thing? You’re still shit at it.”

“Thanks, sis.”

Clare snorted. “I can tell you’re hiding something, but I won’t ask any more questions about it. Which, if I’m dead tomorrow morning, it’s ‘cause the curiosity killed me.”

“Noted.”

They shared another giggle. They’d reached home now and Clare pulled into the driveway.

“Still got hockey tomorrow?” she asked, unbuckling herself.

“Yup. At Mulberry Heights,” Lila shuddered. “Holly’s school.”

Clare scrunched her nose. “Ew. Considering she was at the game last week at Forestglade, she’ll probably be at tomorrow’s game too. You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah. It caught me off guard last week, but I’m prepared this time.”

“Good, good.”

They headed inside, with Lila ensuring to take her hiking bag, and said goodnight to each other before entering their respective rooms for the night.

Waiting for the stream to start didn’t take as long as Lila thought after she finished setting up for hockey, taking out her things from the hiking bag, and otherwise wrapping up her evening routine. In fact, she almost missed the start once she dived under the covers, her laptop on her stomach and headphones on.

“Hellooo my Quacklings!” Marlene’s joyful voice floated through Lila’s ears and she tucked herself further into her bed, her eyes glued to the screen. Marlene was once again wearing a low-cut top and her expression seemed to be radiating happiness, her winged eyeliner enhancing her eyes nicely. “How is everyone?”

Lila watched as messages from the chat flashed on the right-hand side of her screen. Most of them were various ways of saying ‘good’ and ‘I missed you’ and ‘absolutely quackin’’.

“I’m so glad everyone seems to be doing okay! Now, I have something exciting to show you- oh, here’s Mr Snugglebutt. Hold on a moment, I’ll go grab it. Mr Snugglebutt, you’re in charge!”

Marlene bounded off-screen before lightly dropping Mr Snugglebutt into her streaming chair. “I’ll be a sec!” she called.

More messages flooded the chat, greeting Mr Snugglebutt who began licking his shoulder. Lila noted a flash of colour around his neck – a deep green today. Unlike the other collars that Lila had seen him wear, it didn’t have a bottle attached to it. All up, Lila had seen him wear a red, blue and now green colour. Did the colours mean something? Just how many collars did Marlene have for him?

Before she could consider this any further, her phone buzzed on her desk. She reached over and saw it was a text from Asher.

It read, Are you watching the stream?

Yeah, Lila replied. Did you see Mr Snugglebutt’s collar?

His collar? There was a pause before another message from him came through. Oh, the green one? Yeah?

I don’t think I mentioned this, but in the photo I saw, he had a bright blue collar with a bottle. Now it’s green with no bottle

Looks like Marlene is working her ass off to buy collars and ducks

Lila snorted and was about to respond when the sound of Marlene returning distracted her. Lila’s heart almost leapt to her throat when she saw what Marlene was holding.

It was the bag that she’d taken home earlier that day.

“Quacklings, this has made my week,” Marlene gushed, lifting Mr Snugglebutt and placing him on the floor. “Check this out.”

A few comments were either emojis of a drum set or the words ‘drum roll’ as Marlene placed the bag on her thighs.

“Hold on, just gotta fix this camera,” she murmured, tilting it downwards for a better view of the bag. It was certainly a leather bag of the briefcase variety, which matched the one the mystery man had brought to ‘Beans & Biscuits’.

“Anyway… this is the coolest thing I’ve seen in a while. Ready? One… two… three!” Marlene beamed as she flipped the flap on the bag open. Lila leaned forwards, despite the fact that it didn’t change anything about her view of the stream. Her heart pounded. She’d get to see what was in the bag after all.

Marlene lowered her hands into the bag and pulled out a heavy-looking, carved duck statue. Lila groaned. Another duck statue?

The chat went wild, praising Marlene for her find. It seemed like she read the comments as her beam widened.

“I got him today,” she explained. “It’s an antique all the way from Nepal. As you can see, it’s been expertly carved out of ancient wood but the wings are made of brass and tipped with bone. It was very precious cargo. The antique dealer I bought it from just came back from Nepal with a whole bunch of goodies. I had to get it hand delivered from him to make sure it was safe.”

For some reason, Lila felt as though Marlene’s face had changed to a pinkish colour. Lila supposed it was subtle enough that it could’ve been because of some lighting changes in the room that she couldn’t detect. Was Marlene flushed with excitement?

“Anyway, chat, you don’t want to know how much I paid for this little guy,” Marlene giggled, placing him on her desk. “But I will say it was in the thousands.”

“Holy shit,” Lila exclaimed aloud. In the thousands? Plural? Was Marlene insane?

“He’s gonna be today’s desk buddy. I’m just going to put this bag away and I’ll come back and we can start up some WoW. Quick recap – we’re still going through the new megadungeon as we prep for the next big patch.”

Marlene left again after readjusting her camera and ensuring the duck was in view. With the floppiness of the bag that Lila could see, it didn’t look like there was anything else at all in it.

So… was the mysterious man the antique dealer that she mentioned? Why did they have to do such a strange drop off for the duck – besides to ‘make sure it was safe’? Was it due to how expensive and rare it was? Or was it due to the fact that Marlene hardly had any time in the day to breathe, let alone attend an antique shop to pick it up?

Seriously? Asher’s newest text read. A godamn duck?

Yeah. Defs the bag she was wearing home, too, Lila responded.

So the guy was an antique dealer?

Seems like it

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

So weird…

Agreed

Lila sighed. Well, that was one mystery solved. For some reason, it didn’t satisfy her nearly as much as she’d been hoping. A godamn duck indeed…

Tiredness was starting to take hold of her mind, so she bid goodnight to Asher. He asked whether she’d keep watching the stream, but she honestly could hardly keep her eyes open enough to text him. After telling him as much, he said goodnight as well. Then… he sent a kissing emoji. He hadn’t really sent her emojis thus far, so the idea that he specifically hunted for this one to send as a virtual goodnight kiss made her smile. She sent one back before properly lying down in bed, her smile still on her face as she closed her eyes.

----------------------------------------

Clare didn’t speak much to Lila on the way to Mulberry Heights High. Clare’s expression alternated between stressed, content, emotional and back again. Considering their impending conversation with their Mum, Lila didn’t need to check that Clare was anxious about it.

Clare slowly drove into an empty parking bay outside the oval before applying the handbrake.

“Since… we’re talking to Mum after you’re done with hockey, you’ll have to cancel any plans you’ve made with Asher for today.”

“I hadn’t made any,” Lila replied, unbuckling herself.

“Good.” Clare exhaled for what felt like too long before shaking her head. “Try not to worry about it. It has to happen anyway. So, we just have to get on with it. Maybe… we can be normal afterwards. As a family.”

“Clare, you don’t have to forgive-”

“I’m just going to let whatever happens happen. If I do or don’t forgive her, that’s just what it is.”

They looked at each other for a moment before Lila nodded.

“Okay. See you after the game,” she said, getting out and grabbing her hockey gear.

“Good luck.”

Lila gently closed the door and stepped back, watching as Clare patted her face before driving away.

With that, Lila turned to face the oval, taking a deep breath. Clare was right. There was no point worrying about what Mum had to say to them just yet. For now, she had more pressing matters to think about.

She shambled down the hill, towards where she could see the Forestglade College hockey girls warming up. From this distance, she wasn’t sure whether anyone from her team was missing, or what the general vibe between them was. Since Ms Wang had announced that the Head Boy and Head Girl were expelled, along with ‘several other Grade 12s’ yesterday, Lila’s team members must’ve known something to that effect. Otherwise, there would’ve been no need to forewarn the Grade 11s ahead of the assembly on Monday.

Lila tried to ignore the spectator stands as they loomed into view before her, but she couldn’t help sneaking a peek. As predicted, Holly was sitting on the stands along the front row, talking to Dylan. Could Lila’s nosiness extend to… eavesdropping?

She inched slightly closer, maintaining enough distance that they wouldn’t immediately spot her lurking.

“… nothing to me-”

“Are you sure?” Dylan’s voice was, to Lila, distinctly irritated. Lila immediately felt awkward as he continued, “You keep looking at their profiles-”

“I’m just bored, Dylan-”

“Or are you just pissed our plan didn’t work?”

‘Our’ plan? For what? Lila’s intrigue pulled her forwards again.

“Dylan-”

“Just fucking block the cunts and call it a day, alright? It’s done. Been done for months. Get over it. We’ve got Mars to worry about.”

‘Jesus, he’s got a mouth on him,’ Lila thought with a stunned blink. Whatever awkwardness she felt before had now magnified tenfold. ‘Also… Mars? The God of War? Why do they have to worry about him?’

Holly huffed, bringing her hands over her stomach. “Stop swearing. He can hear you, you know.”

“Mars, your Mum’s a stupid bitch,” Dylan snapped, turning to face the oval. “Block that ex and his new girlfriend already.”

Lila frowned, watching Dylan’s retreating back with distaste. He was certainly a piece of work. She could never imagine Asher speaking to her like that, even if they were in a massive fight.

Lila glanced at Holly, who was holding her face in her hands. Lila wasn’t sure if Holly was crying, but she felt an overwhelming urge to check on her-

“Lila!”

She almost jumped out of her skin as she abruptly turned towards the speaker. It was Isaac, a broad, friendly grin on his face.

“Oh, hey,” Lila replied, relaxing instantly. “Did you just get here?”

“Nah, filled up my water bottle. Knocked it over while warming up. I’m so tired,” Isaac yawned, placing said bottle on his hip. He cast a look around before instantly turning pale.

“Let’s head-”

“Hey, Lila,” Asher’s voice interrupted Isaac’s. Lila whirled around to see him half-jogging to her, catching a slight glimpse of Holly looking over at the three of them as she did so. He wrapped his arms around Lila, kissing the top of her head before bending to her ear and murmuring, “Lila, let’s get onto the oval. She’s been staring at you.”

“Gladly,” Lila murmured back. He stepped back and gestured at Isaac to head over to where their teammates were warming up. Isaac did so without a word, his face still pale, quickly leaving Lila and Asher behind.

Once they travelled some distance from Holly, Lila asked, “Have you been here long?”

“Long enough to figure out that Zack won’t be joining us again,” Asher replied matter-of-factly. “Theo’s here though. We have a couple of subs for our team, so we’re not dropping out of the season at least.”

“Anyone else?”

“Looks like the rest of the team is unscathed. No one’s talking about it though.”

“… Are you surprised Theo’s still around?”

“Yes and no. Your Dad mustn’t have found much on him,” Asher whispered the last sentence after taking a look around. “I’ve gotta go. See you later.”

He seemed to hesitate before smiling at Lila and jogging off to his side of the oval. She’d briefly hoped for a light kiss but, with Isaac around, she figured she wouldn’t get one today.

Lila’s teammates seemed rather quiet that morning as they warmed up. Lila took her place beside Willow and Alice, who gave her smiles as their greeting. Alice in particular looked pallid, which Lila queried in a low whisper.

“Just some bad period cramps,” Alice replied in an equally low whisper.

“You sure you should be playing?” Lila pressed.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be fine,” Alice nodded. “The sunlight’s helping me warm up and feel better – besides, the season’s nearly over.”

Lila exchanged a concerned look with Willow, who shrugged. “She said the same thing to me.”

“How was camp?” Alice asked as the trio completed some shoulder stretches.

“It was alright,” Lila responded casually. “Though, on the bus back, they told us the Head Boy, Head Girl and some other Grade 12s got expelled.”

Both Alice and Willow looked apprehensive.

“… Wednesday was really dramatic,” Alice muttered, avoiding Lila’s gaze as she bent to touch her toes.

“Rather not talk about it here at Mulberry Heights, though,” Willow added.

“Why’s that?” Lila questioned curiously.

“I mean, should they really know about our school’s business? They might use it against us,” Willow explained. It felt like a bit of a leap to Lila, but she let it go for now.

“You don’t need to look so disappointed,” Willow laughed. “We’ll chat about it on Tuesday when we’re getting changed or maybe during practice.”

“Alright, alright,” Lila sighed. She’d have to corner Daniel when she got home this afternoon for answers. There was no way she could wait until Tuesday since it was unlikely the school would tell them the whole story on Monday.

Once the match started, Lila focused as best she could on her tactics. It seemed that Mulberry Heights was not pleased with how the previous match had gone and was far more aggressive than the week prior. Despite this aggression, they didn’t play all that much better than their last match – something that truthfully disappointed Lila. By the time half-time was called, Forestglade College was in the lead by one point and Lila hadn’t moved as much as she’d hoped.

She accepted her orange slice from Ms Wright, biting into the cool, juicy flesh as she watched the soccer boys. She spotted Dylan and her distaste for him grew. Just what was wrong with him? Even if Holly was doing something he didn’t like, that was too much.

‘Wait… am I feeling sympathy for Holly?’ Lila thought, taking another bite of her orange slice. The thought disturbed her somewhat. At the same time though, Lila was thinking that it was verging on domestic abuse – if not actually domestic abuse. It wasn’t exactly something that Holly ‘deserved’, but a small part of Lila was glad that Holly’s new boyfriend wasn’t a saintly person since she’d messed up by destroying her relationship with Asher like she had. As far as Lila was concerned, Asher was warm and kind – a far better choice than Dylan. But, if Holly hadn’t cheated on Asher, would Lila have been able to experience this side of Asher, as her boyfriend?

‘Maybe – since he liked me for so long,’ she thought with a touch of doubt. She shook her head. Dwelling on the what-ifs, especially that scenario, wasn’t doing her any good.

Half-time for the soccer boys began shortly after and Lila smiled as Asher approached her, taking large gulps of his water.

“Working hard out there?” Lila asked, her smile still on her face. This reality that she was in was far nicer than whatever her mind had momentarily posited.

“Always,” Asher replied, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand with a grin. “What’re you up to after the game?”

Lila paused. “Mum wants to talk to Clare and me after I come back home from hockey.”

Asher reached out to touch her arm, concern on his face. “Will you be okay?”

Lila shrugged. “No idea. I might have to be, for Clare’s sake. She… told me a little bit about what happened the other day. Not as much as I wanted, but I didn’t pry.”

Asher’s concerned expression deepened further. “Should you come over tomorrow?”

Lila pressed her lips together. She wanted to – even if all she did was nestle herself in Asher’s arms – but… she had a few things to do, aside from talking to her Mum.

“I… can’t make any promises,” Lila said reluctantly. Disappointment flashed in his eyes but he nodded, gently squeezing her arm.

“Alright. If you change your mind, let me know – anytime. Even if you’re five minutes away, or if you need me to come get you.”

“Thank you.”

They shared another smile, with Lila relaxing considerably under his soft gaze. For a second, she considered telling him what she’d heard Holly and Dylan saying but decided against it for now.

“Did anything else happen on stream?” Lila decided to ask.

“Oh, right, I watched that. Nope, nothing else. She did fondly pat the duck every so often, and Mr Snugglebutt would make appearances, but she mainly talked about WoW. Apparently, there’s a big update coming in November or something. Most of her fans are excited about it. I didn’t watch through to 2am, but I’ll watch the tail end of the VOD when it’s uploaded in case there was something else. I doubt it, though.”

“I see.”

“I don’t know how she survives on such little sleep,” Asher added incredulously. “When she dropped me off this morning, she seemed right as rain.”

“Was she humming again?”

“Actually, yeah. I’m thinking that duck really made her happy.”

“She’s got quite the collection. If it made her unhappy, I’d be worried for her mental state.”

“And you’re not now, after knowing A – how many ducks she already had and B – that this new one was in the thousands?”

Lila chuckled. “You’re right. I am.”

“It makes me wonder how much the rest of her ducks are,” Asher shivered.

“Maybe that’s why her security skills are no joke,” Lila smirked. “She’s protecting her ducks.”

Asher seemed like he wanted to add to this before Isaac joined them. Lila shuffled slightly so that they could all face each other.

“Watcha talkin’ ‘bout?” Isaac queried. “Not about your plans to make out here, I hope.”

“Just about the fact that you’re not making moves on Elise,” Lila quipped.

Isaac’s face turned a bright pink as Asher chortled.

“Well- she... She likes someone at Maccas,” Isaac stammered.

“Did you ever consider it was you?” Lila replied, her tone slightly impatient.

“Wow, look at the time, I’ve gotta go,” Isaac responded, glancing at his empty wrist. “Time flies.”

They both watched as Isaac turned tail and speed-walked back to the Forestglade College soccer team.

“Nice quick thinking,” Asher complimented.

“A skill I honed to keep nosy little brothers out of important conversations,” Lila grinned. “Just pretend you’re talking about something he doesn’t want to talk about, and suddenly you wonder if he existed at all.”

Asher laughed and she smiled at him.

“Still, though, I’m a bit disappointed in Isaac’s response just now,” Lila commented. “I’d kinda hoped that after camp he’d seem a bit more confident about it.”

“I mean, camp did only finish yesterday morning. He just might need to reflect a little bit more on how Elise was with him and figure it out from there.”

“You reckon he will figure it out?”

“You keep telling him that he should think she likes him,” Asher replied pointedly. “I was pretty dense when everyone was telling me you liked me, but he’s always had this perceptiveness with people. Makes me think he knows, but he’s actively refusing to believe it for some reason.”

“Probably scared,” Lila sighed, glancing over towards Isaac. He’d managed to find himself in a conversation with some of his teammates, his shrill laugh just barely carrying over this way.

“Probably. This is harder than I thought,” Asher lamented.

“How so?”

“Well, I’d reckoned, given how he is, it’d only take a small nudge. Seems like he needs a sledgehammer instead.”

Lila snorted before sighing once more. “I’ve been hoping that Elise would confess to him since she’s always been a bit headstrong. Honestly, that’s probably why she asked him who his crush was – so she could get a feel for whether it was on her or not in preparation to confess.”

“But he ruined it.” Asher kicked his toe into the ground briefly in contemplation. “I haven’t told him off for that yet.”

“Maybe you should,” Lila nodded.

“After the game,” Asher said, looking behind Lila. “Looks like your half-time’s up.”

She also looked behind her and saw her teammates reassembling on the opposite side of the field. “Yeah. Good luck with your game, Asher.”

“You too.”

He remained standing along the sidelines whilst Lila headed over to her spot. She looked over at him once she was settled and he waved at her before running back to his own team.

The second half of her match proceeded almost identically to the first – so much so that Forestglade College ended up being the winners with two points ahead. Lila briefly wondered what the point of her showing up even was as Charlotte and Alice walked towards their team, both beaming and puffing from their exertion.

“Good job, team,” Charlotte grinned. “That’s the kinda game I like.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rosa grumbled as she took off her Goalie mask, “I could’ve just put a dummy in my place and done some study instead of being here.”

“Sorry,” Charlotte replied sheepishly. “I don’t know what was with them today. They seemed aggressive, but they didn’t push forward as much as I’d been expecting. Honestly, I thought some of them seemed physically unwell. At the very least, it made it easier for Alice and me to keep pushing.”

Lila felt uneasy as she registered what Charlotte was saying. Lila was confident that the soccer boys at Mulberry Heights had been getting morphine from Jason’s ring – Zack, specifically – but were the hockey girls also taking it? Was this a withdrawal side effect, how shockingly they’d played?

“Do you reckon we’ll make it through to the finals?” Willow asked, leaning on her hockey stick.

“Depends on our next opponents,” Rosa replied darkly. “Cedar Grove Girls’ are always tough.”

Lila couldn’t disagree. Most years, it ended up that St Peters would face off against Cedar Grove, an all-girls school based in the city, for the hockey finals. From Lila’s recollection of the list of ten or so schools Zack had given her, Cedar Grove Girls’ College didn’t feature. In that case, it was unlikely that they’d have withdrawal symptoms from the disbandment of the morphine ring – so there was no hope of an advantage in that regard.

“Here they come,” Alice said suddenly, straightening up. The Mulberry Heights team trudged their way over to Lila’s team, engaging in the usual sportsmanship handshakes. Now that Lila was actually facing them, she could see what Charlotte had been saying. Most of them seemed to be pale, tired or even nauseous-looking. Had they been hit by an illness, aside from addiction issues, at Mulberry Heights?

“Fabulous work, ladies,” Ms Wright said approvingly once the Mulberry Heights team shuffled away. “Two more matches to go before the season ends.”

“Well, hang on,” Charlotte frowned, turning to Ms Wright. “What if we get through to the semi-finals and then finals?”

“My apologies. Two to four matches to go before the season ends.”

Charlotte continued to look miffed, though Lila was secretly relieved. It seemed that Ms Wright wasn’t banking on them going through to the end. As much as she loved hockey, this year had been hectic enough without sacrificing half her Saturdays.

Her team started drifting off towards the carpark, so Lila collected her belongings and slowly headed towards the soccer match. She wasn’t keen on getting any closer to Holly, who was still sitting on the spectator stands, so she stood at a relatively safe spot along the sidelines near the goal Asher was defending.

The Mulberry Heights boys definitely seemed lethargic as Lila watched on, leaning against her hockey stick. She could also see that Will Reedy was similarly lethargic. With her lips pursed, she eyed him suspiciously. She’d wondered whether he was a customer or facilitator last week, but with the fact that he was still part of the soccer team and his lackluster performance, she was quite sure he was simply a customer. If that was true… then it seemed likely that only the dealers were punished. She had no idea how many customers there were at Forestglade College, besides practically the whole rugby team, and given the school’s focus on sports, there probably wouldn’t be anyone left if the customers were expelled too.

Isaac, Harrison and Asher, by contrast, seemed just as energetic as usual for their soccer game. Asher was bouncing on his heels in anticipation, his gaze seemingly trained on Isaac and Harrison, who were passing the ball to each other in quick succession towards the other goal.

Though Lila was grateful that her hockey season seemed to be wrapping up, she hoped that Asher’s team would be able to make it through to the end – if only to see how pleased and excited he’d be to get that far.

Lila watched with bated breath as Isaac lined up a shot towards the goal. He kicked – hard enough for the sound to echo towards Lila – and it rolled from the force of his kick in the top right corner of the goal, having scraped past the Mulberry Heights’ Goalie’s fingertips.

Forestglade College supporters, including Lila, descended into celebratory whoops and cheers as Isaac jumped in the air. The referee blew the whistle, the first blast indicating that a goal had been scored then another indicating that the match was over. The Forestglade team rushed into a huddle that Isaac and Asher quickly joined. Lila grinned – it seemed they’d won.

Lila observed their post-match celebrations with a chuckle. They seemed to fly through the sportsmanship handshakes before engaging in their school war cry. At this, the Mulberry Heights team made themselves scarce, which signalled to Lila that she could start heading over. It was hard not to be swept up by their victory as they continued their triumphant shenanigans. Asher and Isaac seemed to be in the middle, so Lila waited slightly to the side, still smiling.

It got to the point that Mr Kovac had to break them up and tell them to shut up and go home, which made Lila smirk. It didn’t take Asher long to spot her after this, and he sped over to her, his exuberance virtually boundless.

“I reckon we’re moving on to the semi-finals,” Asher beamed, taking her hockey stick from her and engaging in a practice swing like a golfer. “I don’t think we’ve been this close in a while.”

“I reckon you’ll get there,” Lila grinned, gently plucking her hockey stick from his hands before he knocked out a rapidly approaching Isaac.

“Am I good, or what?” Isaac’s eyes sparkled as he flexed his arm muscles – which he notably didn’t use for soccer. Lila said as much and he looked at her like she was insane.

“It’s all about balance, Lila,” he asserted, waggling a finger disapprovingly in her direction. “Otherwise, I’d just topple over and be useless to everyone.”

“I feel like that’d be the case if you only worked on your arm muscles,” Lila snorted.

“Oh yeah,” Isaac replied, inspecting his biceps with less enthusiasm.

“Glad you’re still here, Isaac,” Asher suddenly said, turning to him. “I’ve got a bone to pick with you.”

“Was my goal not fabulous enough?”

“No, it was sufficiently fabulous,” Asher smirked. “Problem is that Elise seems to think you have a crush on some girl called Anika?”

Isaac looked perplexed. “She… does?”

Lila folded her arms across her chest. “She told me that she asked you who you had a crush on, and you said Anika.”

“Wh- oh. Yeah,” Isaac said simply.

“Yeah?” Asher raised an eyebrow. “What’s that all about?”

Isaac looked incredibly uneasy. “I, uh, panicked.”

“Can you unpanic?” Lila queried. “Tell her that you were joking or something-”

“What would that even do, Lila?” Isaac retorted, his eyes flashing with anger. Lila took a step back in alarm.

“Sorry,” Isaac said through gritted teeth. “See you guys on Monday.”

Asher gaped after Isaac as he abruptly headed towards the carpark.

“You should go check on him,” Lila said quietly. Asher glanced at her and back at Isaac.

“… Yeah. I’ll… see you later.”

Lila gripped his wrist before he could leave. He stumbled slightly, looking at her in confusion after regaining his balance.

“You’re going to just leave like that?” Lila murmured. He continued to look confused until his eyes sparked with understanding.

“Well, I was – but I can see that was a mistake,” he replied, gently caressing her face. He bent down, giving her a swift kiss before breaking away. “Gotta run to catch him,” he said regretfully. She let him go and he sped off, calling out for Isaac. She couldn’t tell whether he’d noticed Holly still in the stands, watching him pass, but Lila was firmly against mentioning it to him at any rate.

Lila looked around, trying to find where Dylan was before seeing him in a deep discussion with Will. Lila contemplated eavesdropping yet again, but… since Dylan seemed to be a rather aggressive person, decided against it. She guessed that it had something to do with the lack of morphine coming from Forestglade College and that Dylan had some impression that Will had something to do with the supply chain.

So, that now meant she had to pass by a lonesome Holly.

Holly’s face was fixed into a severe scowl, though it didn’t seem to be particularly directed at Lila. Either way, Lila cast her eyes down to ensure she didn’t look at Holly again.

Upon reaching the carpark, she could see that Clare was already idling in a parking bay, waiting for Lila. She opened the back door, tossing in her hockey stick and other belongings before climbing into the front passenger seat and buckling herself in.

“Well, you don’t look happy,” Clare observed as she began to drive away. “Did you lose?”

“Actually, we won,” Lila replied stiffly.

“You seem thrilled,” Clare responded sarcastically.

“Very.”

She could see Clare eyeing her. “What’s wrong?” Clare asked after some tense silence. “I feel like it’s nothing to do with Mum.”

Lila sighed heavily. “I… found myself feeling sorry for Holly.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Clare shrugged. “Being empathetic is generally a good thing.”

“Right… but… it feels like I shouldn’t. Since I’m Asher’s girlfriend, and she… well. Did all that to him.”

Clare’s eyebrow twitched, but she didn’t ask Lila to explain what ‘all that’ meant. “What happened to make you feel sorry for her?”

“Her new boyfriend called her a stupid bitch, for one thing,” Lila frowned. “He was just… really aggressive towards her, too. Demanding her to block her ex and his new girlfriend.”

“So… you and Asher?”

“Probably. Though, given everything, she might have other exes with new girlfriends that she’s cyberstalking.”

“I can see why you’re feeling sorry for her. Unfortunately, even if you’re close friends with someone in a sticky relationship, saying something may not do anything. If she wants to leave, she’s the only one who can.”

“I know.”

“Don’t waste your energy on them, Lila. I probably wouldn’t tell Asher, either. He doesn’t need to hear it.”

“Yeah. I won’t.”

“Good.”

The two sisters didn’t speak any further until Clare pulled into the driveway.

“Mum’s home. Just… maybe get changed, put your stuff down, all that. I’d rather get this over with if we can.”

“Same here,” Lila replied, unbuckling herself. Clare gave her a tight smile before getting out.

“I’ll wait for you in the kitchen,” Clare said once she unlocked the front door.

Lila simply nodded before hurrying up the stairs, her hands shaking with nerves. Now that she was home, and the conversation was imminent, she suddenly wanted to turn around and take the bus to Asher’s place. She was almost disorientated, despite the fact that she was only standing in her room, due to a ripple of nausea making itself known in her stomach and twirling into a knot. She wasn’t sure whether she could go through with this – but… Clare needed her. Reluctantly, Lila set her hockey stick down, trying to mentally prepare herself.