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Scattering Lilac Ashes
Chapter Seventy-Four

Chapter Seventy-Four

Chapter Seventy-Four

The rumours that Lila had managed to catch between classes on Tuesday were much the same as the previous – more ruminating on Asher’s suitability as a father, more pity shown for Holly, and more butchering of Asher’s entire character. It had even crossed over to disbelief that Asher was the Dux of their cohort, with a messy personal life like the one he apparently had. To her surprise though, when Lila saw him at lunch, he smiled broadly, swinging his set of keys in front of her.

“Look at lil Henry,” he said proudly, pointing at the jellyfish dangling between his keys.

“He’s very cute,” Lila grinned. “Wonder where you got him.”

“Found him on the ground. Very tragic.”

“Oi,” Lila uttered playfully, pushing Asher who chuckled. Lila caught sight of Isaac, Elise, and Grace smirking at them in unison before they each abruptly engaged in three different conversations with each other. Their attempt at disguising the fact that they were watching Lila and Asher was poorly coordinated, but Lila strangely didn’t mind. Perhaps she’d been desensitised to the idea that people were watching her at this point.

Sitting down in the library, however, showed Lila that Asher was still very much bothered by something or other.

“Dollar for your thoughts?” Lila queried as she opened today’s lunch.

“Sorry, my bank account’s full,” Asher replied listlessly.

“Impossible,” Lila commented, smirking.

“I’ll… talk to you about it after school,” he relented with a sigh.

“Alrighty then,” Lila confirmed, though she wanted to press him further. The slightly obnoxious, high-pitched laughter of Isaac rudely reminded her that this was perhaps not the best place to get into whatever Asher was thinking about. Instead, Lila joined in the antics of her friends, sneaking peeks at Asher every so often. He didn’t participate, but she saw his lips occasionally curl into a smile in response to some particularly stupid jokes.

Once classes ended and Lila was back on Jacoval, she was sorely wishing that practice had been cancelled. Though they wouldn’t have any practice sessions on Saturday, or over the holidays, Lila felt very strongly that it was too damn cold to be running around after school.

She braced herself, ready to step onto the oval before a voice stopped her.

“Hey, Lila. Glad to see you again.”

Lila turned and saw it was Theo. Her anxiety suddenly spiked and her breathing stopped for just a moment – was he upset with her? But, by the bright smile he gave her, it seemed not. She relaxed her shoulders, returning the smile with her own.

“Hey, Theo. How’ve you been?”

“Ah, here and there,” he said dismissively. He then winked at her. “Had a good weekend, though.”

“Same here. Funny that. I can see you’ve got your normal glasses on.”

“What can I say? I can only break out the round bad boys for special occasions.” He quickly looked behind him, as though sensing something before looking back at Lila. “Gotta go, Isaac’s giving me a death stare,” Theo said hurriedly before jogging off towards his soccer team. Isaac promptly replaced him, standing just in front of Lila with a frown etched onto his otherwise stony face.

“Are you flirting with Theo?” Isaac asked reproachfully. Lila rolled her eyes.

“You don’t need to worry, though I’m not sure why you have been. There won’t be a second date.”

“Still don’t know why you went on a first date with him,” Isaac sighed, shaking his head.

“Not like I’m getting many other offers,” Lila replied drily. Isaac met her gaze with his own before nodding.

“Guess that’s true. Loser.”

“Hey!”

Isaac sprinted off, cackling. Lila rolled her eyes again, though she couldn’t really be mad at his goofy antics. She tried to head over to her hockey team again when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

“What?” she asked sharply, spinning around. It was Asher.

“W-What were you talking with Theo about?” he stammered through chattering teeth. Was he cold? ‘But… he’s never cold,’ Lila thought privately before answering.

“Nothing. Just saying that it was good to see each other again.”

Asher’s eyes widened for a split second before he took in a harsh breath. “Righto. See you after practice.”

He wordlessly hurried off to his side of the oval and Lila finally made it to her own side. Willow and Alice both raised their eyebrows at Lila before giggling.

“Popular with the boys, are we?” Alice asked with a snicker.

“Not really,” Lila replied shortly. “Didn’t you see them all run away from me?”

Willow snorted. “Saw them run to you first.”

“I’m just very approachable then quickly very scary.”

“Ladies,” Ms Wright’s tone commanded their immediate attention. All three girls instantly shut up and listened to Ms Wright’s instructions for today. It was more drills, but decidedly rather lax, given their next match wasn’t until the second week back.

As Lila had surmised, neither Alice nor Willow would let her slip by without filling them in on her date with Theo. She told them the gist of it – that they went to the aquarium, had some dinner, took some selfies, and he dropped her off – and when she told them there wouldn’t be a second date, Alice gasped.

“Why not? It sounded like it went well!” Alice queried as she passed the ball to Willow, who took it through some cone drills.

“He’s just not for me,” Lila replied, receiving the ball from Willow and going through her own rendition of the drill. She passed it over to Alice, breathing heavily. Alice missed and chased after it towards another group of three.

“No hard feelings, though,” Lila wheezed, leaning on her hockey stick as she waited for Alice to come back.

“That’s good at least,” Willow acknowledged. “Honestly, I’d kinda thought Theo was asexual. Hadn’t seen him take any interest in anyone at school.”

Lila stopped herself from saying that perhaps that was because he’d only been on dates with guys. She wasn’t sure how ‘out’ he was about that, so she said nothing at all.

Alice returned, wrinkling her nose and resting the ball on the inside of her hockey stick. “He’s definitely not asexual. I’ve heard him around the changing rooms before and after practice. That guy is definitely horned up and raring to go.”

“Ew!” Willow exclaimed, covering her ears, and letting her hockey stick fall to the grass. “Don’t ever say ‘horned up and raring to go’ in my presence again. Didn’t need that imagery.”

Alice shrugged. “He’s cute. I’d hook up with him.”

Before Willow could respond, Alice went through her cone manoeuvre. They moved on to other topics between drills, and before Lila knew it, practice was over and she was gathering her things in the changing room.

Hoisting her bag over her shoulder, she heard the echoes of a conversation emanating from the boys’ side of the changing rooms floating down the hallway. She carefully approached, listening in. ‘God I’m nosy,’ she thought to herself, though she didn’t make any attempt to leave.

“… kiss her… shoulder barged me…”

The voice sounded like Theo’s, though it didn’t say anything else as the boys’ changing room exploded into raucous laughter. She stood frozen for a moment – was he telling the boys about their date?

Hardly a second later, Theo exited the changing room with some of the soccer boys, who were joking around and playfully shoving each other down the hallway. When he saw Lila was standing just ahead, though, his smirk changed into a grin. A hush fell over the group as he began to speak.

“Just telling the boys how you avoided my attempt at a kiss,” he said candidly. “They thought it was pretty funny.”

“Yeah, good going, Moloney. Put him in his place!” one of the boys at the back of the group called. The rest crowed in agreement, with some shouting that Theo was too cocky, before laughing again. They then dispersed, leaving only Theo behind.

“Why would you tell them that?” Lila asked now that they were alone in the hallway, incredibly perplexed by the notion.

“That way I can laugh about it,” Theo replied seriously. “Better I tell people than people hear about it through the grapevine, or speculate.” He stepped closer to Lila and quickly whispered in her ear. “Plus, Asher’s in the changing room. He’d have heard me.”

“I still don’t get it,” Lila responded, crossing her arms. Asher would definitely not throw his business out to the wolves so quickly, if at all. It was bizarre at best.

“Somehow, word got out about our date anyway and the boys were annoying me about it. So, I thought if I told people that you snubbed me, Asher’d probably feel better about it. Besides, if I admit to it, I’m the one controlling the narrative. Not that I’m lying. It’s just big brain strats,” Theo replied, tapping the side of his forehead with his index finger. “I like you enough to give you a helping hand. That’s pretty rare, y’know. ‘Specially free of charge. See ya around!”

Theo strolled away, whistling a tune that Lila had heard him sing in the car. He seemed pleased with himself, at least. Lila watched him go for a moment before exiting herself.

Lila looked around the carpark to see if Clare had arrived yet. She hadn’t, but Lila figured she’d only be a couple minutes. She began to shiver now that she wasn’t exercising and hoped that the ‘couple minutes’ would turn into a ‘couple seconds’, otherwise she’d turn into a popsicle.

“Clare not here yet?” Asher’s voice called from behind her. She turned her head and saw Asher and Isaac walking towards her. They were both beaming like idiots.

“Nah,” Lila replied with a shudder, rubbing her arms to generate some warmth. “Should be here soon, though.”

“I’ll wait with you guys,” Isaac declared.

“But your Mum’s right the-”

“Shh,” Isaac cut Asher off with a finger to his lips. “Lemme wait with you guys. She’ll be fine. The heater’s probably on.”

They waited in silence for a few beats before Lila turned to them suspiciously. They still looked objectively goofy, with Asher shaking his shoulders every so often in silent laughter.

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“Why’re you two in such a good mood?” Lila enquired impatiently.

“Heard something hilarious in the changing room,” Asher chortled. “I think it’s probably fixed my mood for the rest of the week.”

“It’s only Tuesday,” Lila replied doubtfully. “Not to rain on your parade, but we’ve got more than half a week to go.”

“That definitely rained on my parade,” Asher pouted. Lila chuckled and both Asher and Isaac joined in. Mere seconds later, Clare pulled into the carpark. Lila and Asher bid farewell to Isaac, who promptly marched off towards his Mum’s car.

“Thank God! I was gonna freeze my nuts off!” Lila heard him exclaim before he threw open the passenger side door and jumped in.

The car ride to Lila’s was quiet, conversation-wise, though Lila could see in the rearview mirror that Asher was still smirking to himself. Had Theo’s admission really made him happy? And why would it make him this happy? Or was it something else?

The beginning stages of hope began to rise within Lila again, but she pushed it back down before it could get too far. Knowing her luck, something was just around the corner that would cause it to tumble down anyway.

“We’re grabbing pizza for dinner, by the way,” Clare said as she pulled the handbrake of her car up, having reached home in one piece. “Hope you don’t mind Asher.”

“You don’t have to get any for me,” Asher responded as he got out of the car. “I’m not staying for dinner.”

“Aww,” Clare whined. “We all missed you terribly yesterday.”

Lila could see out the corner of her eye that Asher was blushing, and she smiled to herself.

“I… might be able to stay. No promises,” he said in a strained voice, ruffling his hair bashfully.

“That’s the way,” Clare smirked. “Besides, it’s already en route.”

“Should probably lead with that next time!” Asher exclaimed. They all laughed and piled inside, the warmth of the house inviting them in.

Lila contemplated taking a shower as she and Asher headed upstairs but was prevented from doing so when Asher asked for her to come with him into Daniel’s room.

“Why?” Lila asked curiously. In response, Asher wordlessly knocked on Daniel’s door. Daniel opened it with a flourish and exuberant grin before seeing that Lila was standing there too.

“Oh, you’re here,” Daniel said simply, standing aside to let them in.

“I’ve been requested,” Lila shrugged.

“It’s just in case something goes wrong. I can’t be here all the time, so if Daniel needs a hand, you might have to help,” Asher explained, kneeling down on one knee next to his school bag. Daniel and Lila both watched as he began rummaging through it, identically bemused expressions on their faces. With an “Aha!”, Asher pulled out a small parcel.

“Here,” Asher said, holding it up for Daniel to take.

Daniel gasped dramatically, both hands over his mouth. “Asher, you shouldn’t have! I can’t say yes. You should give it to my sister. She’s desperate.”

Asher blinked at him before his face turned red. He instantly stood up, still holding the box. “No, you dumbass,” he said, bopping Daniel on the head with it.

“It’s like none of you realise that my head is precious cargo,” Daniel muttered, grabbing the box and rubbing where Asher had hit him. Lila snorted but didn’t say anything as he opened it up. Inside was a small Square reader.

“Oh, I’ve seen these thingies before,” Daniel stated, picking it up and inspecting it. “It’s so people can pay with card, yeah?”

“Sure is,” Asher confirmed, taking his seat at Daniel’s desk. “Just need to get it all connected. Lila, if you could watch me do it, please, in case you need to help Daniel later on.”

Lila and Daniel both watched as Asher set up the reader to connect with Daniel’s phone and Daniel’s Square account. Asher also linked up Daniel’s new bank account as they had those details written down in the packet of information he’d received from the bank yesterday. Finally, Asher conducted a couple of test runs, tapping his card to the Square reader and checking the website, before a knock sounded on the door. Asher slammed Daniel’s laptop lid shut whilst Daniel simultaneously threw a jacket within arm’s reach of him over the reader.

“Yeah?” Daniel called once everything was sufficiently hidden, leaning nonchalantly across his desk. The attempt failed miserably as he tripped over himself and grabbed the edge of the desk, his limbs flailing with the grace of a bull in a china shop.

“Pizza’s here,” came Clare’s voice. She didn’t try to come in. “Hurry up or you’ll miss out.”

“Who am I competing with?” Daniel queried loudly, catching his breath. It was a miracle that neither Lila nor Asher laughed. Upon receiving no response, Daniel rolled his eyes.

“You heard her. Everything done?” Daniel asked, looking over at Asher, his face only slightly pink.

“I reckon so,” Asher replied with a nod. He opened the laptop again and double-checked everything. “Should be fine. Did you catch everything that I did, Lila?”

“Sure did. Caught it like Daniel caught himself just now. Not that there was anything else for me to do,” Lila deadpanned.

“Oi,” Daniel objected reproachfully.

Asher smirked and stretched before standing up. “Time for pizza,” he said cheerily.

Once dinner was done, Asher and Lila sat in her room as usual. This time, though, Asher wasn’t reading. He sat backwards on Lila’s desk chair as he looked at her. After a few seconds of this, Lila began to blush.

“W-Why’re you looking at me?” she asked tentatively. He broke eye contact with her and spun her chair around once while he was still seated. When he was back in his original position, he looked down at the floor.

“No reason,” he said simply.

“Then can you stop?”

“Sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“Not… exactly.”

“Sorry.”

They fell silent for a moment before Lila looked up at him. “I talked to Theo about what Livi’s been doing, by the way.”

Asher rolled the chair closer to Lila. “Oh?” he asked with bated breath.

Lila launched into an explanation of the morphine ring that was going around school, and how Livi was connected to it as the financier. And that it technically meant Daniel was connected, too.

“I didn’t want to tell Daniel without running it by you first,” Lila said in closing. Asher, who had seemed both shocked and tight-lipped throughout her explanation, looked pensive, a hand on his chin.

“That… is a lot more serious than I’d ever imagined,” he said softly. “That stuff can get people killed. You know morphine is an opioid, right?”

“I hadn’t given it that much thought, actually,” Lila replied honestly. “But yeah, it’s serious.”

“I… think we need more info before we tell Daniel,” Asher said after some thought. “Just so we can give him as many facts as we can. I don’t think he’d be able to do anything about it anyway, so he’d be better off not knowing for now.”

“Agreed,” Lila nodded. “Just not sure how to get more facts.”

“Good point…” Asher hesitantly looked at the open doorway of Lila’s room before dropping his voice. “So, for now, we should plan our attack for the worker’s cottage. Especially since school holidays are in a couple days. I doubt we’d be able to get much information in these next few days about the ring anyway, considering we’re about to turn Livi’s world upside down.”

“Plus, depending on how it goes, more people might want to talk,” Lila added. Asher stared at her for a moment before smiling.

“Yeah. I like the way you think.”

“Thanks. Did it on my own.”

Asher snickered and they fell into another silence, this time more comfortable. Asher was definitely in a much better mood than Lila had seen him in for almost a week. It comforted her to know that he could be in a better mood. For a second, she’d been worried that he wouldn’t be able to be so joyful again.

“There’s something else,” Asher suddenly said, his tone gravely serious. “I’ve been trying to find ways to get this all sanctioned by the school.”

“The Banker stuff?”

“Yeah. I’ve been approaching some teachers during morning tea with Isaac about whether there’s a way to do that. Perhaps by paying rent or fees or something to the school. That will also help take power out of Livi’s hands. Right now, if she wanted to, she could run to the Headmaster and Daniel would be in some seriously deep shit.”

“That’s a great idea. How far’d you get with that?”

“It’ll have to be finalised next term. I’ve almost got all the backing I need from the teachers, but I want to get a few more than necessary just in case.”

“That’s impressive.”

“It wasn’t hard. Daniel and Livi had the names of all the teachers already involved written down in their notebooks. I targeted them first since they clearly know about it and also would probably care if it got shut down.”

“Does Isaac know that Daniel’s the Banker?”

“No one knows who the Banker is, remember? Apart from us and Livi’s group. But he knows that I know who the Banker is. The teachers seemed to think that I was the Banker when I talked to them, but I said I was asking on behalf of the Banker. I also said that if I was the Banker, I would’ve had it sanctioned within the first few weeks of the year, which convinced them enough. Though, I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that they thought I was the ringleader.”

“Thank you,” Lila said earnestly. “I hadn’t even thought of getting it approved by the school as a potential solution.”

“Dux Asher Wagner, at your service,” he said in a mock-British voice, inclining his head towards her. Lila shifted her seated position in her bed slightly before glancing at Asher. He still seemed to be in a good mood as he scrolled through his phone. Was now a good time… for… that? Lila’s heart began to race as her lips trembled. She parted them, about to speak–

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Asher piped up, shutting his phone screen off and putting it on Lila’s desk. “I promised I’d talk about it after school.”

His eyes met hers, and he looked at her quizzically. “What’s up? You look like something’s on your mind.”

Lila pressed her lips tightly together and shook her head, gesturing for him to speak. In an instant, his previous good mood had dissipated entirely. He looked at her warily before inhaling deeply.

“I… heard some things,” he said, his voice wavering with emotion. “And I didn’t like it.”

“Was it about… Holly?”

“Yeah. It pissed me off but it also… I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s just been fucking with my head. Like what if I am the Dad, and I am a deadbeat that abandoned her?”

“You said that you never… well…”

“And that’s true. At least, true from what I remember. What if I did something in my sleep? Or I just forgot about it?”

“I’m no expert, but that kinda thing seems purposeful. Like it’s a whole… event.”

“I’m no expert either. So, it might be possible that I just… wasn’t aware or something.”

“Surely you guys would’ve talked about it afterwards? Even a ‘how was it?’ or ‘thanks’ or whatever people say after. I mean, was she a virgin before you guys got together?”

“She… told me she was. But now I can’t trust anything she’s ever told me. Not even that she l‑loved me.”

A couple of tears fell from Asher’s eyes and he aggressively wiped them away. He then placed a hand over his eyes and sat like that for a few moments, his shoulders shuddering every so often. Lila could tell that he was struggling to beat back his emotions, so moved closer to him.

“You don’t have to bottle them up, you know,” she said, gently touching his arm. He jolted, looking over his hand at her. His eyes were sparkling with tears and she comfortingly rubbed his arm.

As if she granted him permission to feel, the tears flowed freely down his face. He didn’t exactly openly sob, but he wasn’t silent either. Lila continued to pat his arm, concern resting heavily upon her face.

After a minute or so, Daniel appeared in the doorway, looking in at them in confusion.

“You okay Asher?” he asked, not daring to come any closer. Asher looked mortified as he held his head up in his hands to see Daniel. Asher remained silent and then hung his head low again.

“What’d you do to him?” Daniel’s voice sounded accusatory. “Did you reject him?”

Lila immediately crossed the room and began pushing Daniel into his own, her face red with both fury and embarrassment.

“Read the fucking room, dude,” she hissed before slamming his bedroom door shut.

“Sorry,” came Daniel’s muffled response. As she rested her back on his door, it occurred to Lila that perhaps Daniel didn’t know about Holly at all. He was a couple of years younger than Lila and Asher – perhaps it hadn’t reached the Grade 9s. She remembered telling her Mum, Dad, and Clare that Asher had a girlfriend this year… but had she ever told Daniel? The photos of Lila in the boys’ bathrooms hadn’t mentioned anything about the rumour that Lila was trying to be a ‘homewrecker’…

Lila looked through her own doorway and saw Asher, still seated where she’d left him, with his face in his hands. Telling Daniel about the whole ex-girlfriend thing, and that being the reason why Asher was upset… well, that could wait.

Lila almost made it to her bed to sit down again when Asher grabbed her arm. She looked down at him in surprise. His eyes remained fixated on the floor.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I keep bringing everything down. And that I keep feeling so upset about it.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. It’s not like you’re doing anything wrong. You’re allowed to grieve a relationship, even if it ended badly.”

“… This… kinda thing… is something I’d talk to my Mum about. Even though I’m much taller and bigger than her now, she’d still pull me into her arms no matter my woes and comfort me. Talk me through them. Guide me on what I’m feeling and how to process it. And I’ve tried to do what she told me to do and it’s not working. I can’t do this without her. And because of that, I feel like I’ve failed her, too,” Asher’s voice broke as he let go of Lila’s arm. “And it’s not your burden to bear but I keep putting this on you. Surely you resent me for it.”

“I’d never,” Lila replied firmly. She took a deep breath, the beating of her heart strengthening with each second and blood rushing to her face. Was she brave enough? “Asher, I-”

Asher jumped slightly as his phone rattled on her desk. Wiping his face with the back of his hand, he picked it up. “Marlene’s here,” he stated monotonously. “I should go.”

Lila watched as he stood and collected his things. ‘It’s fine,’ she told herself morosely, her heart strangely heavy. ‘He was literally just crying about Holly. It wasn’t the right moment.’

He turned to Lila with a downcast smile. “Thanks for listening. It helps more than you know.”

“Just know,” Lila said quietly, facing the doorway rather than Asher, “you’re my best friend. Helping a friend shoulder their burdens… that’s just what we do. That’s why you’ve been putting your all into helping Daniel, despite exams and everything else that was going on. So it follows that I can’t stand by and watch you drown. I’d never resent you.”

“But Lila, you can only have so much capacity. I’m putting too much on you-”

“Asher, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. It’s only preventing you from working through things.”

He grimaced at her before nodding. “You’re right. Like usual.”

They headed downstairs without any more conversation, though Asher said goodbye to Lila’s family members. She unlocked the door for him and he stepped out, looking back at her over his shoulder.

“We’re going to see Livi tomorrow, by the way,” he murmured after checking that no one was nearby. “I texted Daniel when I got the package, but I think I forgot to tell you. He’s shut down the operations for tomorrow, except for people collecting what they’ve paid for but that’ll be done outside.”

“How did Livi react?”

“Not sure, but I doubt it’s good. She might know something’s coming so… be prepared,” Asher said in a strained voice. It gave Lila the impression that he was trying to encourage himself rather than her.

“Alright. I will. See you tomorrow,” Lila smiled at Asher. His face softened and he returned the smile with a genuine one of his own.

“See you tomorrow.”