Chapter Forty-Two

Lila’s hopes that Asher would be practising soccer with the Under 18s the next morning were dashed when she stepped onto Jacoval, bright and early. Isaac jogged over to her before she reached Ms Wright, looking anxious.

“He still hasn’t been responding to my texts,” Isaac huffed, bracing his left side. “He’s usually the first one warming up, but he’s not here.”

Lila’s heart slowly sank towards her stomach as she registered what Isaac had said.

“M-Maybe he’s coming later?” Lila suggested, trying to give Isaac a hopeful smile. Isaac kicked the top of his right shoe into the field for a couple seconds before shrugging listlessly.

“Doubt it,” he sighed.

“Fisher, get back here,” growled Mr Kovac, menacingly stomping over to Isaac and Lila. “Stop flirting.”

Isaac gave Lila a sheepish grin before sprinting back over to his quadrant of the oval.

Lila tried to concentrate on the exercises that Ms Wright was giving her that morning, but it was admittedly hard to focus. She looked over at the boys’ side of the oval every few minutes. Asher never showed.

Ms Wright occasionally came by to talk Lila through specific manoeuvres and tactics. It seemed to Lila, though, that Ms Wright was actually checking in on Lila, but she didn’t say anything of the sort. Lila tried her best to play off her worries by participating in the hockey drills, but she couldn’t feign her usual level of enthusiasm that she had when training.

As practice was wrapping up, Lila had made up her mind. The facts remained that Asher had missed two days of classes, soccer practice and was ignoring Isaac. She was going to go over to Asher’s house and see him.

Lila caught Isaac on his way off Jacoval, pulling him to the side before he could step off the field.

“What’s up?” Isaac asked, raising an eyebrow, wiping sweat off his brow.

“I… well, hypothetically, right,” Lila began, avoiding his gaze, “if, for example, I went over to Asher’s place… um, but I wanted to bring snacks… What would his favourite snacks be?”

Isaac’s jaw went slack for a moment as he looked at Lila before his face broke into a grin.

“Well, hypothetically, I would say that you can’t go wrong with Double Coat TimTams. Or Kingstons,” Isaac said, tapping a finger to his chin. “Or Snakes. But, this is all hypothetical, of course.”

Isaac winked at Lila before starting to head off to the carpark.

“Thanks, Isaac,” Lila said to his retreating back. He raised a hand in the air, indicating that he’d heard her, and didn’t look back. Lila hurried to the changing room by the oval and picked up her phone. Looking at her text log with Asher, Lila could see that he still hadn’t responded to her message about Piper’s expulsion. Taking an expansive breath, Lila sent a message to Asher.

Are you okay?

Asher didn’t seem to open it straight away. Sighing, Lila put her phone in her sports bag and speed-walked to the carpark. Clare was waiting in the short-term parking bay, blasting EDM songs as usual. Clare grinned at Lila as Lila threw her things into the back seat.

“Welcome,” Clare said loftily, turning down the music. “Ready to go home?”

“Actually…” Lila buckled herself in tentatively. “Can we stop by Woolies or something first?”

“Sure. Why though?” Clare asked conversationally, pulling away from the carpark. Lila bit her bottom lip as she contemplated what to say to Clare. Though Clare had backed off since their last discussion about Asher, Lila was fairly confident that she would still not be pleased that Lila was planning to go over again. At the same time, though, Lila’s parents were out all day today so Clare was her only ride…

“I… want to go to Asher’s,” Lila said quietly. “And I want to bring over some snacks.”

Clare swerved in the road slightly, before inhaling deeply. Lila could see Clare tighten and loosen her grip on the steering wheel a few times before Clare nodded.

“Okay. I still don’t like it, but okay. Did you want to go home beforehand?”

Lila looked down at her grassy uniform. “Yes please.”

Clare accompanied Lila inside a standalone Woolworths near their house. She wandered through the snack aisle, picking out her own snacks, while Lila took a packet of each of Isaac’s suggestions into her arms.

“Alright,” Lila said to Clare, nodding. “I’m ready to go.”

They checked out their items at the self-serve register, Clare scanning her Woolworths Rewards barcode for each transaction.

On the way home, Lila checked her phone. Asher had seen her text message yet he didn’t respond. Lila sighed and sent a message to Gabriel.

Hi Gabriel, I’m coming over in about an hour or so, she sent with shaky hands. It was definitely presumptuous to invite herself over, but she was sure that Gabriel wouldn’t mind. Though, it was his day off… hopefully he’d see her message and let Marlene know, at least.

Lila didn’t have to wait long for a response from Gabriel, however.

Hi Lila. Good idea. I am here too.

Lila frowned as she looked at Gabriel’s message. It wasn’t a special event, that she could tell, so he wasn’t required to be at Asher’s place.

‘No matter,’ Lila thought to herself as she turned her phone screen off. She watched the world flash by the car window, which rattled in time to Clare’s loud music. ‘I suppose he can do what he wants on his days off.’

Once home, Lila rushed upstairs to shower. Her whole body ached, despite not having tried very hard at practice today. The hot shower relaxed her muscles and when she stepped out of the shower, she felt refreshed.

Lila anticipated that her conversation with Asher would be a long one, so she might as well dress comfortably. Flicking through her closet, she finally settled on an outfit – a casual t-shirt and long, elastic flare pants. She tied her hair up to get it out of her face and then knocked on Clare’s bedroom door.

“I’m guessing you’re ready,” Clare said, looking over her shoulder. On her desk was a skirt that Lila hadn’t seen before, made of shimmery material.

“What’s that?” Lila asked curiously.

“I’m repairing this for a friend,” Clare replied smoothly, getting up from her desk and walking out of her room, keys in her hand. Lila followed suit, ensuring she had her phone with her. They got back into Clare’s car in relative silence, Lila’s bag of snacks perched on her thighs.

Every so often, Clare’s facial expression would meld between one of fury and then into forced calm. It had gotten to the point that halfway through their drive to Asher’s house, Lila couldn’t take it anymore and had to ask Clare what was going on.

She gave a heavy sigh and a sideways glance at Lila, before saying, “I know you don’t need to give me an explanation. But… I am still worried about this whole situation you have with Asher. I mean, if I was his girlfriend, I would be pretty uncomfortable. Just saying.”

“He doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore,” Lila said quietly, staring into the bag of snacks. Clare immediately turned down her music.

“Did you just say he doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore?”

“Yeah,” Lila nodded solemnly.

“If you’re intending on going over there and making a move on him, as your older sister who’s done exactly that, I would advise against it.”

Lila looked up sharply. “I never heard about that.”

Clare shrugged, turning around a roundabout with ease. “Don’t like to talk about it. Which is why I’m always torn up about trying to force you to tell me what’s going on, and leaving it alone.”

Lila fell silent, contemplating what Clare said. “I guess… that makes sense. A-Anyway, I don’t want to make a move on Asher. And, besides, I met his… well, ex-girlfriend I guess… before seeing him over the holidays and she said she was okay with it. Me going over, I mean.”

Clare didn’t respond for a while, seeming deep in thought. Lila’s mind, however, was running through her mental history of Clare’s past relationships that she knew about. None stood out as being similar to Lila’s situation with Asher.

Eventually, Clare parked her car outside Asher’s place and turned to Lila, her face cryptic.

“Lila. I support you, I do. But I don’t support you getting hurt. I want to protect you, but I know that it’s your life. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way. And that sucks. I just hope you’re not making a mistake by getting so close to Asher. The character that shows through his weird actions is not one I’d recommend getting close to. That’s all,” Clare said, her voice choppy and strangled.

“I understand where you’re coming from, Clare. But I disagree that his character is not one that I should stay away from. I… was too mad to say this when we had our fight, but I guess I can tell you now. He, um, tried to push me away from helping him. It’s… me, really, that’s forcing myself on him. And he’s the type of guy who’s too responsible for his own good. He protected me from Piper when it came down to it, and he spent every moment he could tearing down all those photos that you saw from the boys’ bathrooms. He told everyone that the rumours about me were lies before I’d even noticed that they existed, even though it ended up backfiring on us. He’d sooner sacrifice himself than drag others into his messes. So that’s exactly why I can’t stand by and watch him destroy himself, sis.”

A hard lump formed in Lila’s throat as she finished talking. She quickly opened the car door and exited. She could have sworn that Clare’s eyes were glistening, but when Clare blinked, the effect went away.

“I’ll trust you for now,” Clare said finally, looking up at Lila. “I haven’t met the guy, so I can’t judge for myself, I guess. Just… keep an eye on yourself, please. If you need to talk to someone, I’m here for you.”

“Thanks, Clare. I do appreciate it, and I appreciate you. Seriously,” Lila said earnestly. Clare smiled, her eyes seeming to glisten again, before Lila shut the car door. Clare waved at Lila as she drove away.

Lila slowly turned towards Asher’s house. She walked up the driveway, her hands weighed down with the snacks. Upon reaching the front doors, she took a deep breath and knocked.

A minute later, both doors opened and revealed a confused-looking Marlene. When she spotted Lila, her confusion melted into a cheerful smile.

“Hello, Lila,” she said. “This is a surprise. Mr Wagner didn’t say you would be coming for a visit today.”

“Hi Marlene,” Lila replied, with a small smile. “I haven’t told Asher. Um… he missed the last two days of school, actually. And he’s been ignoring my texts, and Isaac’s texts. And he didn’t come to soccer practice this morning.”

Marlene’s calm and collected demeanour fell away in an instant as she gaped at Lila.

“Mr Wagner didn’t attend school?” she asked weakly. Marlene glanced behind her, as if expecting Asher to be standing right there, before ushering Lila inside.

“Please wait a moment,” Marlene said quietly, her hands jumping to compulsively smooth the front of her apron. She hurried off to a side room before returning with Lila’s slippers, kneeling to place them on the ground before her.

“You didn’t have to,” Lila said quickly, waving her hands to illustrate her point.

“I insist,” Marlene replied, her voice oddly high-pitched as she stood up again. “I noticed that Mr Wagner has not left his room, but I thought that he was just tired.”

“Don’t you normally take him to and from soccer practice on Saturdays?” Lila asked as Marlene began to lead her through the house.

“I do,” Marlene nodded, “but he said it was cancelled today.”

“He lied to you, then,” Lila said softly, her stomach twisting itself into a ball. Marlene’s eyes widened and her hand jerked to a pocket on her apron, but she didn’t do anything with said pocket.

“I said to Gabriel that I would be here,” Lila said as they approached the kitchen. As if on cue, Gabriel came bustling out, his normal chef uniform replaced with a long-sleeved shirt and loose slacks.

“Lila,” he said in a low whisper, smiling in a way that seemed forced.

“Gabriel,” Lila replied, mirroring his whisper. “Why are you in?”

“I’m worried about Asher, of course,” he said in a low voice, glancing up towards the staircase. “I’ve been making a whole bunch of desserts for him to try and cheer him up, but he keeps telling me to leave it on the kitchenette counter. I don’t think he’s gotten up once.”

“Did he join you for dinner last night?” Lila asked, looking between Marlene and Gabriel. Gabriel shook his head.

“I delivered his food upstairs and Marlene brought it back down. It had barely been touched.”

“… what has he mentioned?” Lila asked quietly, folding her arms in front of her chest.

“I’ve asked what’s wrong, but he’s insisted that everything is fine,” Gabriel replied, glancing towards the stairs again.

“Okay,” Lila said, nodding. “I’ll go talk to him.”

“I’ll get to work on continuing to make desserts,” Gabriel nodded, pushing his sleeves up. “I’ve got a beautiful lemon meringue pie coming along. Surely I’ll be able to entice him with something as sour as his mood.”

Marlene simply bowed at Lila, her eyes still unnaturally wide. Lila slowly made her way up the stairs and to Asher’s rumpus room. She knocked on the door, but heard no response. She opened it slightly and saw that it was in complete disarray. The couch cushions were on the floor, juice bottles and at least four dessert trays were scattered about, and a blanket was messily lying on the back of the couch. Stepping inside, Lila noticed that the controllers for his consoles were haphazardly on the coffee table. The door to Asher’s bedroom was closed.

Lila gently placed the bag of snacks on a spare section of the coffee table. She drew in a long, slow breath before walking over to Asher’s bedroom door. As Lila approached, she could hear the distinct sounds of someone sobbing. Clearly, Asher was crying again…

Her heart breaking, Lila knocked on his door.

“Go away, Gabriel. I’m not in the mood for any more desserts,” Asher’s voice weakly called out.

“It’s Lila,” Lila said. She couldn’t hear any sounds in his room anymore. She waited a beat before announcing, “I’m coming in.”

She turned the handle just as she heard Asher cry out, “Wait, no!”

It was too late. Lila swung the door open just as she recognised that he’d said something. He was standing in front of his bed, shirtless, his hair wildly messy. Lila could see the lines of his lean, muscular torso. As soon as she registered what she was looking at, she threw her hands in front of her eyes and turned around, a small shriek escaping her lips, heart pounding in her ears. Asher shrieked simultaneously, moving to cover his toned chest.

“Why are you shirtless?” Lila asked in a shrill voice.

“I was pantsless a second ago! I’d said wait!” he replied in an equally shrill voice. Lila promptly closed the door behind her and escaped to the couch. This was exactly why she’d been anxious to get close to his room in the past…

She’d only just caught her breath back when Asher emerged from his room, a longline navy singlet now covering the top half of his body. He hadn’t changed out of his grey tracksuit pants. He looked incredibly embarrassed but approached the couch all the same. His eyes were bloodshot, and his face was pale and exhausted.

“W-Why are you here?” he asked quietly, sitting rigidly in his usual spot on the couch. His eyes didn’t meet hers as he waited for an answer.

“You weren’t responding to my texts. And you missed school. And soccer practice. And you’ve been ignoring Isaac. And, most importantly, I’ve been worried about you,” Lila said, listing the reasons off her fingers.

“Worried? About me?” he asked, seeming baffled.

“Asher, you ran out of English during the balcony scene,” Lila said pointedly. “You’ve been acting odd even before that. You stopped talking about Shakespeare with me, and you answered a question about Romeo and Juliet with a synopsis of Lady Macbeth’s character.”

Asher’s face turned red as he moved to hold it in his hands.

“Plus… you… started crying,” Lila finally said softly, picking at her fingernails in her lap. Asher’s whole body winced at Lila’s words, but he didn’t look up at her.

“And… I don’t know if I want to ask… but… did you even get on the right bus home?” Lila asked, looking towards Asher.

“… No,” he admitted into his palms. “I was halfway to the city before I realised.”

A hint of a smile flickered across Lila’s face, but she didn’t dare laugh.

“Asher… I’m here to help you,” Lila said gently, shuffling a little closer to him on the couch. “I mean it when I say I want to help you.”

It was as though those words were the magic words that released him. He began weeping into his hands, slowly sinking headfirst into his lap. Lila immediately reached out and began to rub his right arm comfortingly, which only served to make Asher cry harder. Each painful, shuddering breath he took pierced Lila’s heart as she watched Asher crumple before her eyes. They sat like this for almost half an hour before Asher’s sobs finally began to subside.

“S-Sorry,” he said, sniffling as he wiped his eyes and nose on his singlet. “I-I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s okay,” Lila said, a small, empathetic smile on her face. “I’m just glad I don’t have to princess carry you up here while you’re crying.”

Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

Asher finally looked at her, confusion in his eyes before understanding her reference. He began to chuckle, but it quickly stopped.

“… Do you want to talk about the elephant in the room?” Lila asked in a half-whisper. Asher rubbed his face for a moment, looking up at the ceiling now before he nodded.

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “I’m guessing you mean the fact that H… Holly’s… pregnant.”

“We can start there,” Lila said, nodding. Asher sighed, not speaking for a few moments before glancing at Lila.

“Well… I went to debating on the 26th of April,” he began softly, looking down at his lap now. “A-And we won, actually.” Asher shot Lila a sideways look before looking back down. “Sorry I lied about that, by the way. I… also got awarded ‘Speaker of the Night’. It was actually a very good debate…” He trailed off, staring intently at his hands before speaking again a minute later.

“So Holly… took me to an empty classroom after. And I thought we were just going to hang out before her parents came to pick her up. And that’s when she told me that she’s… pregnant.”

Lila nodded encouragingly, not wishing to interrupt Asher’s recollection.

“So I thought about it for a couple days. Went off the rails over it. Then I dumped her on Saturday.”

“Asher, don’t you think it’s a dick move to dump your pregnant girlfriend?” Lila asked quickly. She needed to rip this band-aid off if they were ever going to get to the point. He looked at Lila, his face again unfathomable, before tears coated his eyes and began to flow. He wept into his hands again, and Lila resumed her comforting touch. Asher almost began hyperventilating, so she quickly got up and filled a glass of water before returning and offering it to him. He took it but didn’t drink, owing to how hard his chest was heaving.

“I-It’s n-not mine,” he finally managed to choke out between wheezes. “I-Impossible.”

As soon as he said that, everything clicked for Lila. He began sobbing even harder now, almost to the point of wailing. Lila continued to stay by his side, though her mind was running a mile a minute. It wasn’t Asher’s baby.

As she reiterated this fact to herself, she felt another one of her sickening grins creep across her face. Truthfully, the news made her feel giddy again, but she quickly swallowed it down for now. She internally interrogated herself as to why the fact that Holly had apparently cheated on Asher was something to be happy about, but found no answers. His shoulders continued to wrack back and forth as he struggled to breathe, forcing Lila back into the present moment.

“A-Asher,” Lila tentatively said, gently rubbing the top of his back now. “H-How do you know it’s not yours?”

Asher’s sobs quickly stopped as he looked up at Lila incredulously, pain still eating away at his appearance.

“’Cause I haven’t had sex with Holly.”

This new revelation made Lila’s head spin. “Y-You haven’t?”

“No,” Asher said, looking at the cup of water in his hands, his body spasming involuntarily as he took in a deep breath. “I… wanted to wait a little bit longer. She’s… was… I thought… well…”

He took another deep breath, closing his eyes this time before finishing his sentence.

“She was so perfect, at least I thought, that I didn’t want to ruin her. I was scared and I… wanted to be more secure in our relationship. I wanted to know that she… definitely wanted me. And was definitely… okay with my imperfectness.”

“Why did you think that she wouldn’t be?” Lila whispered, her eyes not leaving his face now. He glanced at her before looking back at his balled-up left fist.

“Just… well… I’d already told you that I couldn’t emotionally open up to Holly. A-And I think that’s where I went wrong…”

Asher began to cry yet again, clutching at his chest. For a few more moments, Lila sat, unsure what to do, before Asher began to laugh. It was an empty, sarcastic laugh, more a reaction to pain than finding anything funny.

“She… tried to tell me it was mine, at first. And I almost believed her. Cause the truth… well…” He ran his left hand through his hair, looking forlornly at his cup of water, gripped tightly in his right, before placing it down on the coffee table. “I-I’d remember having sex with my first girlfriend. Especially… y’know, Holly. I eventually asked her who the father was and-”

His voice broke as he wiped his eyes again with quivering fingers. “She said she didn’t know. I asked what that meant and she said… it was between a couple of guys.”

A slow burn began to mount in Lila’s chest as she processed Asher’s words. ‘A couple of guys?’ she repeated in her thoughts. Holly cheated on Asher with enough guys that she didn’t know who the father of her baby was? Holly had Asher as a boyfriend and still sought others? Lila couldn’t tell whether it was rage or hatred that was building inside her, but broke out of her thoughts when Asher looked at her again, grimacing.

“Lila… why?” he whispered, his pain ringing through every syllable. “Why wasn’t I good enough? Why did she have to hurt me like this?”

He began to dry retch, like he did when he was particularly overwhelmed. She’d only seen it happen once before. He reached for his cup of water and downed it instantly.

“… Holly is the only one who is at fault,” Lila said slowly, pushing down the burning sensation in her chest. “She made a promise to you, and she broke it.”

“’Cause I’m a shitty, terrible person, clearly,” Asher replied hoarsely. Lila shook her head.

“Asher, any girl would feel privileged to be your girlfriend,” she said softly, avoiding his gaze. “Besides, I don’t think many high schoolers could say that they’ve been stalked by an admirer to the point of expulsion.”

Asher shuddered, but the fleeting image of a smile crossed his face. He wiped away the remaining tears from his face before leaning back on the couch, an arm resting over his eyes.

“You know what’s almost as humiliating as finding all this out?” he asked drily.

“What?” Lila asked.

“She told me she’s almost four months pregnant. So that whole time we were panicking about the rumours about me cheating on her with you… and the times that she stared at me, in my face, asking if I was cheating on her… and the times she made me feel small as I scrambled to fix things… she was already pregnant b-by someone else. I feel so stupid. It makes me wanna give back all my Dux awards. The Proxime Accessit can have ‘em.”

“Asher, you’re not stupid,” Lila said firmly. “It sounds stupid now, after realising all this, but that’s just what Holly decided to do, on her own. In my opinion, there’s no justification for cheating, so even if you were stupid, or even if you were emotionally closed off, or the worst boyfriend ever, she could’ve left. She didn’t need to lead you on.”

“I literally bought her a whole new wardrobe, smiling like a godamn dummy, not realising she’s pregnant,” Asher groaned. “Lila, she’s hit me where it hurts on all fronts. I’ve bought her so much stuff like jewellery, makeup, going on dates, everything. She’s tricked me, she’s taken advantage of me, she’s cheated on me with multiple people, she’s pregnant, after all I’d done for her. I… fell so hard that I saw myself setting up our futures together and… she’s just ripped my heart out and left me for dead. I feel like such an idiot ‘cause she’s been trying to g-get it on… with me. And I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. She’s just too perfect. Was, I guess.”

“Asher…” Lila said with a gentle sigh. He didn’t look at her as he continued to speak.

“And then… when I broke up with her… she said she thought it was fine ‘cause she thought I was cheating on her with you. But… she’d started cheating before we even got our English assignment. I… don’t understand and I hate not understanding things… it makes me feel so useless…”

He trailed off as he stared at the ceiling.

“I honestly don’t know how I’ll ever be okay after this,” he whispered. “How did life even feel before I knew all this? I… can’t remember.”

Lila thought back to what Isaac had said, about Holly looking at Asher like a meal ticket. She hated to admit that Isaac was right. Lila brought a hand to her forehead as she struggled to find something to say. There wasn’t really anything she could say. Although she fretfully wished that she could magically fix everything, she couldn’t.

“I… don’t know what I can do to help,” Lila finally admitted quietly. “I desperately want to just make the pain you’re feeling go away, but we both know that I can’t. So… what do you think would help you?”

“Ha,” Asher laughed mirthlessly. He shook his head as he continued grimly, “I… wish I knew myself. But… the fact that you’re here… even though I didn’t ask you to be. I-It makes me feel like you actually care. That you’re not just… hanging out with me because of the investigation. Which I dragged you into…”

“Asher,” Lila whispered, looking into his defeated, tired eyes with sincerity. “You’re my friend. Of course I care. I want to hang out with you, with or without an investigation. I know you’re doubting a lot of things at the moment… but please, don’t doubt me.”

His eyelids fluttered for just a second before he looked away. “Friend…” he muttered, a half-smile appearing and fading just as quickly. Lila looked around the rumpus room at all of its chaos and stood up.

“Let’s focus on things we can control,” she said, picking up a couch cushion off the floor and placing it in its usual position. “I know you can’t control your feelings, and you can’t control what’s happened, but we can at least fix up this room.”

She twisted her ponytail into a bun, securing it with her hair tie, and began tidying up. Asher took a few moments, seemingly to process what was happening, before he jumped up, his face red.

“No!” he blurted out. Lila lowered the juice bottle that she was holding.

“Why?” she asked.

“I can’t ask you to do that,” he mumbled, hurriedly picking up things that were out of place. “It’s my fault the room’s like this.”

“Good thing you didn’t ask, then,” Lila said, picking up the juice bottle and other items. He didn’t respond and his redness didn’t go away until they were finished.

“S-Sorry,” he finally said as they sat back down on the couch. “It’s a bit embarrassing, having a girl come over and clean up the mess I’ve created.”

“Isn’t that what Marlene gets paid to do, though?” Lila asked, grinning. “You seem pretty used to it, to me. Besides, you did a fair amount too.”

His eyes landed on the bag of snacks that were still perched on the coffee table.

“I’m assuming that Gabriel didn’t bring those,” he said, pointing. “Considering he’s been making all these desserts.” He gestured to the kitchenette counter, which barely had a square inch free owing to all the dessert platters they’d relocated. It was Lila’s turn to be embarrassed now.

“I brought them,” she said, nervously touching her elbow. Asher inspected the bag and pulled the snacks out.

“Yooo,” he said, holding the TimTams above his head. The delight he showed at the rest of his haul made Lila smile. He seemed better, if only just.

“Thanks, Lila,” he said, after putting the TimTams on the coffee table neatly.

“I would’ve brought fruit, but I thought that snacks would be a better call. I didn’t realise Gabriel was opening a bakery in your kitchen today, though,” Lila replied, attempting a light laugh.

“Yeah,” Asher said, sighing as he dropped back down onto the couch. “He’s been doing the most. But I haven’t really been hungry.”

“Glad I’m here, then,” Lila grinned again. “It won’t all go to waste.”

Lila promptly brought over a particularly scrumptious-looking platter, gently placing it on the coffee table. Though he’d been somewhat light-hearted a moment ago, Asher’s eyes had fallen into lifelessness by the time she sat down again.

“Here,” Lila said softly, handing him a cupcake. “It might make you feel a bit better, at least.”

Asher robotically unwrapped the cupcake in silence, his expression darkening further. Lila bit into her brownie, her mind flicking through potential conversation topics. Clearly, Holly would be a no-go for now. Perhaps she should mention that Isaac was worried? But, then again, Asher didn’t want to worry Isaac, hence why he didn’t tell him too much… Perhaps Marlene? Or the investigation in general-

Realisation struck Lila like a train. After running through various bits of information regarding the investigation, she remembered something that they crucially had failed to do. She dropped half her brownie into her lap as she stared at Asher, unable to articulate what she’d recalled.

“What’s that look for?” he asked solemnly, frosting coating his lips. He licked them clean, which momentarily distracted Lila.

“Lila?” he said, looking at her with concern now.

“S-Sorry, I just realised something,” Lila said after tearing her eyes away from his lips, a blush blossoming across her face. “About when we went into the study. Did you ever check the CCTV for the day your Mum disappeared?”

Asher’s pale complexion took on a green tinge as he stared back at Lila, slack-jawed and breathless.

“No. I didn’t. How could I be so stupid?” he said, clutching at his hair, pulling his head down towards his knees. “What an idiot!”

“Asher, I didn’t pick it up, either,” Lila said firmly. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“It’s hard not to be,” he said, looking up at her with a grimace. “I’m meant to be the smartest guy in our grade.”

“You put a lot of pressure on yourself,” Lila said matter-of-factly. “Just ‘cause you’re the smartest, doesn’t mean you’re infallible. We were last in the study so long ago. There’s nothing we can do to change the past. So, what are we going to do about it now?”

Asher froze for a few moments before nodding. “You’re right… we can’t go back to the past.”

He looked away, his eyes shining again, but he held it together.

“When you were finding information about the rumours, I tried to get back into the study,” he eventually said. “Marlene’s locked it and the key is missing from the safe. I don’t know whether Dad’s gone back in and used the study, but he might have a key on his normal car keys or something anyway.”

“Damn,” Lila hissed. “So we can’t get in now.”

“Not exactly…” Asher murmured, reaching for the Switch joy cons. He turned the Switch on and opened YouTube. Clicking on the search bar showed his recent search history, which Lila couldn’t help but see. ‘Can you forget your first time?’ ‘girlfriend pregnant’ ‘did I forget sex’ ‘how to get pregnant without sex’ ‘cheating warning signs’ ‘why girlfriend cheat’ were among the searches that Lila observed. Asher rapidly began typing ‘lockpicking’, his face entirely red and posture unnaturally straight, though neither said anything about his search history.

‘Poor Asher’, Lila thought as he scrolled through the ‘lockpicking’ search results. ‘He must’ve tried to research if the baby could be his before breaking up with Holly…’

Asher selected a video, and they watched in silence, his posture still stiff. A man’s voice began to go through the mechanisms of an average door lock, and how to pick said lock.

“Click on one… click on two… no click on three… click on four…” the man’s voice calmly said as he wiggled some instruments inside the locking mechanism. Lila and Asher continued to watch several more videos until an advertisement for the YouTuber’s lockpicking kit popped up.

“Well, all I’ve learned is that no lock is truly trustworthy,” Lila shuddered. “No wonder it was so easy for Piper to figure out how to get into my locker.”

“She probably got into mine, too,” Asher said darkly as the YouTuber ran through a demonstration of the kit.

“I don’t think we’ve debriefed properly on what the hell happened with her,” Lila commented, taking another dessert from the platter in front of her.

“I don’t think we have,” Asher said absent-mindedly, also taking another dessert from the platter. “She’s been, like, the furthest thing from my mind.”

“I know,” Lila said softly, taking a bite of the cookie in her hand. “But she can take centre stage if you need a distraction.”

Asher looked at Lila sharply, before sighing as he chewed on a cinnamon donut. “I’m going to need to process that at some point, aren’t I?”

“Yes, sir,” Lila said, nodding. “You will.”

Asher sighed again, lowering the volume of the TV. “I guess if I have to anyway, it’ll be a productive distraction.”

Lila folded her legs underneath her as she shifted her whole body to face him. His body continued to face the TV, but his head was turned towards her.

“I… It did occur to me that… the photos she took… she’d clearly been following us when we went to follow Marlene,” he said slowly. “I never noticed her.”

“Neither did I,” Lila said incredulously. “I looked around a whole bunch, but couldn’t pinpoint anyone specific who was following us. I thought I was going crazy.”

“She… also took pictures of me and Holly talking after debating,” Asher said quietly. “That’s what made me tear them up. After I’d thrown them away, I realised I should’ve kept them as evidence. Especially the one of us at ‘Beans & Biscuits’.”

“No need to be sorry,” Lila replied, shaking her head. “I’d have done the same if you hadn’t already done so.”

Asher gave her another humourless smile as he continued, his eyebrows furrowed. “And… she took my soccer pants. I said this before, but she’s seriously horrifying. I don’t even know where she took them from, but the last soccer practice I went to, I had to borrow pants from Isaac.”

“At least now that she’s been expelled, she’ll have less access to you,” Lila said slowly. “She’s freaky as hell, but now that we know that she didn’t stop, we can keep a proper eye out for her. Have you given any thought about taking any legal action or anything?”

“Nah,” Asher said, shaking his head emphatically. “I… don’t want to ruin her whole life. As long as she’s learned her lesson, I don’t need to. But three strikes, and she’s out.”

“You have a lot more grace and patience than most people, I think,” Lila said kindly. “I didn’t like that she got expelled, but honestly, what else could be done?”

“I don’t hate that she got expelled, but I hope she’s able to get into a good school at this odd point in the year. It’ll be hard for her to make new friends, but who cares,” Asher replied, his tone gravely serious. “I believe everyone, no matter their past, deserves education, at least.”

Lila smiled as she reached for something else from the platter. He still found the space and energy to be fair to his tormentor, amidst Asher’s life upturning completely. ‘What a Dux-like thing to say,’ Lila thought to herself, biting down on her new dessert. ‘Scratch that – what an Asher thing to say.’ Lila couldn’t find it in her heart to disagree with Piper’s need for an education when the victim was advocating seriously about it.

“I think I’m going to buy this,” Asher said suddenly after the YouTuber’s advertisement was over. “We don’t have a key, and I trust this guy to know what he’s talking about.”

“It can’t hurt,” Lila agreed. “Though, try not to use it for anything nefarious, alright?”

“Scout’s honour,” Asher said, tapping his chest. Unlike the other times he’d said it, though, this seemed to lack any kind of energy. Asher got up from the couch and walked into his room, returning seconds later with his phone. He rapidly tapped on it a few times on his way back over before looking up at Lila.

“Got it,” he said. “It’ll arrive in a week or two.”

“Are all the locks on the doors in this house the same?” Lila asked as Asher put his phone on the coffee table, securing another of Gabriel’s desserts.

“Dunno,” he said, spraying a mouthful of walnuts across his lap. He swept them off nonchalantly as he continued. “But we can at least practice on the doors inside the rumpus room.”

“Good idea,” Lila replied with a small smile. They continued to watch some more YouTube videos on the subject, Lila typing down notes on her phone as several points were brought up. Asher’s mood was generally unpredictable as his expressions varied wildly while watching the videos, though Lila didn’t mind. He wasn’t aggressive, at least. He also hadn’t cried again, which Lila considered a success given he’d been crying when he thought he was alone. Not to mention he cried again when he started talking to Lila…

Eventually, they moved on to other videos, of varying topics, none of which included relationships of any kind. Lila didn’t suggest any videos for Asher and let him direct what they were watching today. None of them were comedy, either, though they were still entertaining. He seemed generally fidgety as they continued watching videos in relative silence.

Asher suddenly turned towards Lila, inhaling sharply.

“Should I tell Isaac?”

Lila met Asher’s anxious eyes with her own curious ones. “About?”

“… the whole… pregnancy part,” Asher said, looking down at his hands and flexing his fingers.

“Ah,” Lila uttered. “It’s up to you. You don’t have to.”

“I know. But I don’t think I can keep this in. I think Isaac should know, at least.”

“Then you should tell him.”

“C-Can you also be there when I do?” Asher asked, his voice wavering slightly. Lila smiled reassuringly at Asher.

“Of course,” she said. “Do you plan on telling Gabriel?”

“Definitely not,” Asher said with a heavy exhale. “He… would probably get crazy mad.”

“I’d like to see that,” Lila laughed. “I didn’t think he had the ability to get mad.”

“Trust me, it takes a lot to get there. But this… is a lot.”

At that moment, a knock sounded on the rumpus room door and they both jumped.

“Asher,” Gabriel’s voice called from beyond the door. “I made a lemon meringue.”

Asher exchanged a pointed look with Lila, before inviting Gabriel in.

“O-Oh,” Gabriel said, blinking around the room in surprise, brandishing a lemon meringue in a decorative dish. “You tidied up.”

“Lila insisted,” Asher said, glancing at Lila.

“We like productivity around here,” Lila said with a mischievous smile. “Though, I do think that you’re producing too much, Gabriel.” She gestured towards the kitchenette counter, and Gabriel’s face fell slightly.

“Ah,” Gabriel said, “I can see I got a bit over-zealous.”

“Deliciously so,” Lila interjected. “Can’t forget that bit.”

Gabriel beamed at Lila, placing the lemon meringue down in the middle of the coffee table.

“Will you be staying for dinner?” he asked Lila. He seemed to be trying to communicate something with Lila via his eyes, which widened and narrowed as they darted over to Asher and back to Lila. ‘He’s a bit obvious, isn’t he,’ Lila thought to herself, her mouth involuntarily twitching.

“Yeah, I’ll stay if you don’t mind,” Lila replied, grinning at Gabriel. Gabriel clapped his hands together in joy, and he bowed out of the room.

“See you downstairs soon, then!” he called as the door shut behind him. Asher looked at Lila quickly before looking back at the TV. She noticed, though didn’t say anything again.

“I’m still curious about the nightclub,” Asher said after a few minutes, scrolling through some videos.

“Same,” Lila said, pulling out her phone and opening her calendar. “Since we can’t do anything with the study until the kit arrives, we can check out the nightclub. Do you want to check it out when Marlene should be on shift, if she works there? Or should we check it out at another time?”

Asher put the joy cons on the coffee table, his brow furrowed. “I don’t reckon we’d be able to get in when Marlene’s supposed to be on shift. But… remember what that review said? About the security issues?”

Lila’s eyes lit up. “The bouncer only arrives after 8pm, so we’d only be able to get in between 5 and 8.”

“Exactly,” Asher replied with a nod. “So, we can only go there then.”

“You know, I think I can borrow my sister’s ID, just in case. I’m pretty aware that I don’t look 18,” Lila said contemplatively.

“Looks like I’m going to need to figure out a way to look older,” Asher said, tugging on his hair.

“If you do your hair like you did for semi, you’d look older,” Lila said softly, her eyes flickering to his for just a moment before going back to her phone screen.

“You reckon?” Asher said, leaning back on the couch and folding his arms. “I guess I’ll need to see how far I can get away with not shaving during the week as well.”

“Yeah,” Lila nodded. She was somewhat curious about that, too.

“What do people even wear at a nightclub?” Asher asked, panic suddenly rising in his voice.

“I think you’ll be fine with, like, a button-up long-sleeved shirt and some chinos. But make sure the sleeves are rolled up. Oh, and nice enough shoes,” Lila said contemplatively, thinking back to pictures Clare had shown her of Clare at the clubs with some friends. “I’ll figure out something to wear.”

“When should we go?” Asher asked, twisting his hands in his lap. “I’m suddenly feeling like sneaking into an 18-plus nightclub isn’t a good idea.”

“It’ll be fine,” Lila said, trying to sound confident. “Besides, we’re only trying to gather intel. It’s not as if we’re hoping to drink and party.”

“… Yeah. You’re right,” Asher conceded, picking up his own phone. Lila looked back down at her calendar.

“What about next Saturday night?” she suggested.

“13th of May?” Asher checked, zooming in on his own phone. “I… guess that’ll be okay.”

“We can try Sunday if Saturday doesn’t work,” Lila said quickly, looking up at Asher.

“It’s fine,” he said dismissively, putting his phone face-up on the coffee table. “Just that a game releases on Friday, but… I don’t feel like playing games alone at the moment anyway.”

“Oh,” Lila said, staring at her calendar. “I’m guessing you originally wanted to spend the day gaming? Daniel does that with new releases. I get it. We can try a different day.”

“It’s fine,” Asher said firmly. “It’s a solo-player game. I… think I’d end up thinking too much. I want to feel productive, at least.”

“… Okay,” Lila said, turning her phone screen off. “Next Saturday it is, then. Did you want me to come here after practice and we go together, or meet up in the city?”

“You can come over,” Asher said softly. “Up to you, though.”

“It’ll probably be easier for me to get ready here,” Lila said, placing a finger on her chin. “I can avoid questions about what I’m wearing that way.”

Asher shot her a look, filled with another unfathomable expression, but rapidly selected a new video to watch. Asher’s phone screen lit up. It was a call, coming in from ‘Holly’. There was no ringtone or vibration, but the light drew Lila and Asher to both look at it, Lila’s heart suddenly pounding. They glanced at each other before Asher flipped his phone so that its face was on the coffee table. He was shaking, his eyes wide in apparent fear.

“… She’s been texting and calling basically non-stop,” he finally said in a trembling whisper. He put his face into both of his hands again, breathing heavily.

“… Have you thought about blocking her?” Lila asked gently, giving Asher her full attention.

“Yeah,” he mumbled into his hands. “B-But what if she says something important?”

“Like what?”

“Like… it was all a prank.”

“Asher…” Lila sighed, leaning back into the couch.

“I know it’s stupid,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I keep waking up, hoping it was all a horrible dream or a sick joke.”

“It sounds unbelievable, Asher, but your pain is very real,” Lila said, her eyes still on Asher. Asher slowly lifted his head from his hands, his eyes red.

“I wish it wasn’t.”

“Let’s do something else,” Lila said, clapping her hands and standing up. “Still got that tandem bike?”