Chapter One Hundred and Forty

It turned out that, even with the thinness of her sleeping mat and the chill passing through her pyjamas, Lila had managed to fall asleep quite easily. Perhaps it was the exhaustion, both mental and physical, that had clocked her out as soon as she pulled her sleeping bag over herself last night, the twigs and rocks underneath her not bothering her as much as she’d thought they would.

Upon opening her eyes the next morning, she could tell it was far too early to get up. From the small window at the top of the tent, Lila saw that only the earliest sunrays had just begun to peek through. It was also far too quiet and still outside to suggest that many, if any, other girls had started stirring.

Despite the fact that her phone was currently an expensive lemon since there was no signal, Lila had taken the time last night to put it on charge via her battery pack. With a yawn, she checked the time – 6.05am. Breakfast wouldn’t be for at least another hour to hour and a half.

The heck was she supposed to do now? There still wasn’t any signal on her phone and it wasn’t bright enough to read just yet. She did have some offline games, but she wanted to conserve at least some battery since it was only day two of camp.

With a sigh, she put her phone back, leaving it unplugged for now. So… would the next half an hour be spent wallowing in silence until Elise or Grace woke up since showering was so unappealing right now?

She couldn’t put off talking to Grace any longer. Every time she eyed the glimmering bracelet around Grace’s wrist, which she knew Ms Alexander had bought for Grace, her stomach would turn and she’d fall silent. The subsequent relief that she kept feeling when Grace wasn’t around ultimately didn’t make Lila feel good at all.

But what would the best way to approach this be? Sure, they were on camp now, and there was no way for Grace to contact Ms Alexander, and limited opportunities for her to run from Lila and Asher, but… would talking to her in the morning be best? Or the afternoon? After dinner?

Lila pressed her palms into her eyelids, trying to think. She didn’t want there to be any opportunity for anyone else to listen in – not even Elise and Isaac. She didn’t want to have the conversation without Asher, either, so trying to talk in the tent was a no-go, too. Though there were plenty of secluded spots, she was also well aware of the special attention that Ms Wang and Mr Vanderbilt had been paying to her and Asher after yesterday’s warning. While she thought that Ms Wang and Mr Vanderbilt would doubt that anything would be happening with Grace involved, there wasn’t any guarantee that they wouldn’t lurk to make sure.

It was starting to look like this would be an opportunistic conversation. Not ideal, but there was no other way around it. They’d have to find a spot and just… go for it. How would the conversation even start? She’d been too anxious to plan it out, especially with the morphine ring investigation happening concurrently.

A half-stifled snore caught Lila’s attention and she looked to her right. It seemed that Elise had startled herself into waking, with the small, grumpy sounds she was emitting. Lila waited with bated breath to see if Elise was actually waking up – and, to her relief, Elise rubbed her eyes and opened them.

“Morning,” Lila said quietly, welcoming this new distraction.

“M-M-Morning,” Elise yawned, stretching her arms up and hitting the wall of the tent. She frowned before yawning again, this time with her hands over her mouth.

Lila heard rustling on the other side of Elise, which probably meant that Grace was starting to wake up, too.

“What time is it?” Elise whispered, blinking as she looked at Lila.

“Just after six.”

“Ew,” Elise sighed. “Now that I’m awake, there’s no way I’m going back to sleep.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you reckon it’s too early to go to the showers?”

“Probably not, but I was going to wait a little bit longer. The sun’s only just rising and I don’t want to bother with a torch.”

“That’s fair.”

“Good morning, guys,” Grace’s sleepy voice interjected.

“Grace!” Elise said happily, turning her head towards Grace. “Morning.”

“Morning,” Lila added with far less enthusiasm. “It’s just after six.”

“Oh,” Grace replied with a yawn. “That’s early.”

“Yeah,” Lila responded casually. She pressed her lips together, wishing that Grace had slept even a little bit longer.

“Well, if we’re just waiting for time to pass,” Elise said, sitting up and looking at Lila, “you can tell us what Ms Wang wanted with you yesterday.”

Lila groaned, covering her face with her hands. Now she wished that both Elise and Grace had slept a bit longer.

“You did say that you’d tell us later,” Grace added, her tone curious.

“Ms Wang… basically told me to not get handsy with Asher, or sneak off and… ‘do things that teenagers do’,” Lila explained after a slight pause. She lowered her hands, looking up at the ceiling of the tent as she continued, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt more awkward with Ms Wang, and that’s taking into account that time she confronted me about the pictures Piper put up around school.”

Elise gasped. “You’re joking.”

“Definitely not. Mr Vanderbilt had a similar conversation with Asher, too.”

“Jesus,” Elise uttered incredulously. Then, Lila caught sight of a smirk on Elise’s face, which flooded her with a sense of foreboding. “So, you guys-”

“Not even slightly,” Lila cut Elise off with yet another groan. “We’ve only made out, like, a couple times.”

“Seriously? With the way he was sucking on your neck yesterday, I thought you’d gone all the way.”

Lila turned to face the wall of the tent, her cheeks aflame with mortification. “Definitely not. And he wasn’t sucking on my neck.”

Elise snorted. “Okay, he was a second away from that.”

“I’ll throw my pillow at you.”

“Good, I need another.”

“I might be wrong, but it sounds like you want more,” Grace said, effectively ignoring Elise’s teasing of Lila. Lila stiffened. She wanted to talk about this with Grace, but this want was tainted by her confrontation plans.

“I agree with Grace,” Elise said. “Is there a hold up?”

Lila closed her eyes. Neither Elise nor Grace would let her go at this point… so, talk about it, she did.

“The hold up… is him,” she reluctantly admitted in a low mumble. “But… he confuses me. He says stuff like he really wants to, but then… doesn’t do anything about it. I’ve told him a few times that I want to so I decided to leave it at that since he didn’t want to get into why when I asked.”

“Weird,” Elise commented. “I would’ve thought he couldn’t wait, and would just go for it as soon as you said you wanted to.”

“Same,” Lila replied despondently. “I… also don’t know if I feel like I really want to because… well, I figured out, after talking to Clare, that I l-love him.”

Elise’s squeal seemed to rattle the walls of their tent. Grace immediately hastened to shush Elise.

“You love him?” Elise whispered, clearly getting the hint. “Without banging him?”

Lila turned to face Elise and Grace, who were both beaming. “Yeah,” she confirmed quietly. “Is banging a prerequisite to love?”

Elise and Grace exchanged a glance.

“Dunno,” Elise shrugged, looking at Grace expectantly. “What say you, Miss Experienced One?”

Grace pursed her lips, her expression contemplative. “Well… for me… I realised it after we started doing things like that.”

“Is not even a month too short to be feeling like this?” Lila questioned, doubt seeping into her words whilst she tried to put Ms Alexander out of her mind. “Am I just… I dunno, sexually frustrated and confusing everything?”

“There’s nothing wrong with calling it love and finding out later that it’s not, especially if you end up feeling stronger feelings about him later,” Grace replied sagely. “Relationships are meant to evolve over time.”

It made sense to Lila, but she didn’t want to think about whether Ms Alexander said that to Grace, or whether Grace came to that conclusion on her own.

“Have you told him?” Elise asked, her eyes eager.

“No,” Lila responded emphatically. “I don’t want to freak him out. I mean, I… I’ve settled on it being love, but since it hasn’t even been a month yet, I want to keep it to myself for now.”

“But what if that’s what’ll make him make a move on you?”

“Elise, don’t give her ideas like that. You might pressure her into saying it because she wants a certain outcome, only to be disappointed if he’s still not ready,” Grace frowned.

“Well, have you tried getting lost in the moment?” Elise pressed.

“Yeah. Well, not with the goal of… that in mind, but just… something more. He stops us every time,” Lila said dejectedly. “I dunno, maybe I’m just… super sensitive after he rejected me a couple months ago. Like, these moments are all more rejections, and it…” Lila trailed off, unsure what the rest of her thought was.

“It hurts,” Grace finished wisely. “At least, I can see why it would.”

“Should I ask Isaac why?” Elise questioned in a low whisper. “Y’know, since he’s Asher’s best friend.”

Lila shot up, her face red once more. “No!” she half-shouted. “Don’t ask my ex why his best friend, my new boyfriend, won’t do more with me. Are you insane?”

“Geez, alright, alright. It was just an idea since I know you wouldn’t ask Isaac, and Asher won’t give you an answer,” Elise replied defensively.

“Besides, I didn’t think you’d be up to talking to him about anything serious,” Lila said in a much quieter voice. “You’ve been weird with him on this camping trip already.”

“W-Weird?” Elise stammered, suddenly looking unsure of herself. “Weird how?”

“Well, you hardly talked to him on the bus, even though he kept trying to talk to you. He totally likes you, by the way. I mean, he wanted to carry your bag,” Lila stated with a smile.

“He offered to carry Grace’s too and he knows she’s into girls, so it’s not like he’d have a chance with Grace,” Elise countered. “You make it sound like he was flirting. He just didn’t want me to slow you guys down.”

“I disagree,” Grace piped up. “He asked you first. Then, when you said no, he deflected to me to make it seem like he was asking to be nice.”

“He’s… a nice guy,” Elise insisted, her face turning pinker by the second. “Just ‘cause he wanted to carry my bag one time doesn’t mean he likes me.”

Lila raised an eyebrow at Elise, who looked over at Grace. With the sigh Elise gave, it seemed that Grace gave her a similar look.

“Guys, I’m serious. He likes someone at Maccas,” Elise said quietly, fidgeting with her hands.

“Newsflash. You’re someone at Maccas,” Lila pointed out.

“I… asked him,” Elise said after a pause. “Since you kept insisting that I should.”

“Asked him what?” Grace questioned, meeting Lila’s eyes over Elise’s shoulders.

“Asked who he had a crush on. It’s on… Anika.” Elise’s voice faltered, and Lila immediately regretted this line of questioning. Could she convince Elise that what Isaac told her was a lie? She’d had confirmation from Asher that Isaac liked Elise – plus, Lila had heard from Isaac himself that he thought Elise was cute.

“He could’ve lied,” Grace said pointedly. “Since you haven’t told him that you like him, right?”

“I haven’t,” Elise sighed. “But… he’s not much of a liar, is he?”

“Grace is right,” Lila nodded. “Sure, he might not be much of a liar, but he could’ve panicked when you asked.”

“Guys… that’s a lot of assumptions,” Elise said listlessly. “I… sorry. I just want to enjoy my time at camp. Talking about this… makes me uncomfortable.”

“Sorry,” Lila replied immediately, gently rubbing Elise’s arm.

“Sorry,” Grace repeated softly. Elise gave them both a weak smile.

“It’s okay. But… can we please… not talk about Isaac and me? For now, at least.”

“Absolutely,” Lila nodded. Grace nodded as well.

“Thanks,” Elise’s subsequent smile was much brighter. “What do you reckon’s for breakfast?”

The rest of the morning went by with theories about breakfast and that day’s activities before they decided it would be a good time to get showered and dressed. There were only very few girls who were up and about, which meant that the showers were both mostly dry and empty.

Getting out of the shower was hellish, given how cold it was, but Lila managed to finish up her morning routine without dropping anything from her shivering hands – which she took to be quite a success.

“If we jog back to the tent, then back to the eating area, we might warm up,” Grace suggested once Lila met with her and Elise. Lila and Elise couldn’t disagree with the idea.

The sky was much brighter by the time they made it back to the eating area, though there still weren’t a huge amount of students around. Mick was busy prodding the fire pit that had held last night’s bonfire, encouraging it back to life, but neither Henry nor Rachael were in view at the moment. Some students were sitting around, wrapped up in blankets or jumpers, though there was one lone student who caught Lila’s attention. Finley.

She’d never had reason to cross paths with Finley Rosenthal in the past, but today, after knowing he shared a tent with Asher and Isaac, Lila thought that perhaps there was reason enough.

“I’m just gonna check if Asher and Isaac are up yet,” Lila said to Elise and Grace. They both looked at her in confusion until she gestured towards Finley, who was busy snapping a long twig into tiny pieces, his eyes glassy and staring at the remnants of the fire Mick was still battling with.

“Hey, Finley,” Lila said gently as she approached, sitting to the right of him. He seemed startled as he looked back at her, his dark brown eyes widening with horror before crinkling with amusement.

“Ah, Lila, right?” he asked. “I’m guessing you want to know where your boyfriend is.”

“Yeah,” Lila replied awkwardly. “You caught me.”

“He finally passed out after about hour five of talking about you last night,” Finley responded, a smirk forming on his face. “He’s probably still asleep.”

“W-What do you mean?” Lila felt her cheeks turning pink, the idea that Asher spent all night talking about her making her feel flustered. Surely Finley was just teasing her.

“I mean what I said,” Finley said plainly. “I knew he was an overthinker, but damn.”

Lila touched the A on her chest, now anxious to check in on Asher. What had he been saying?

“All I can hope for is that he’s all talked out,” Finley chuckled. “I mean, there’s only so many times he can say that he really likes you.”

“I don’t know if you’re teasing me or not.”

“I’m not,” Finley said seriously. “If he keeps it up again tonight, I think I’ll pass out from sleep deprivation.”

Lila took in his expression, trying to read it as best she could. She really had no idea what kind of person Finley was.

“Looks like you don’t need to wait too long for him,” Finley observed, gesturing behind Lila. “Here he comes.”

Lila turned, her eyes meeting Asher’s instantly. He looked incredibly tired and his clothes were in a haphazard array – like he hadn’t been able to see what he was putting on. Isaac was just behind him, looking just as tired, hiding his yawn behind one of his hands, the other in his tracksuit pants pocket.

Asher smiled at Lila before halting his approach, his face sheepish. Isaac nudged Asher forward before waving at Elise and Grace, heading towards them instead of Lila and Finley. With a sigh, Asher continued on.

“Morning, Fin,” he said abashedly once he was within reasonable distance of Lila and Finley. “Uh… about last night-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Finley waved a hand dismissively. “As long as you don’t do it again.”

“… yeah. Sorry.”

“Help me up and we’ll be even. I’m gonna see if Xavier and them are up yet.”

Asher grasped Finley’s arm, helping him up as requested. Lila and Asher watched Finley go before Asher turned to Lila, his face flushed.

“I’m… guessing Finley told you what happened.”

“Kinda? He… said you couldn’t stop talking about me.”

Asher’s eyes widened with surprise before he placed a hand on the back of his neck. “I see. That… was part of it.”

“Part of it?”

“I’d backtrack but you’ll probably hear about it anyway,” Asher sighed again. “Care to walk and talk with me?”

“Only if Ms Wang and Mr Vanderbilt won’t ambush us.”

Asher smiled in response, but it seemed joyless. “We’ll be in view of people, don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t worried. I’d rather be with just you, though.”

His eyes met hers before he held out a hand for her to take. She did so, and he helped her up too.

“I’d rather be with just you, too,” he murmured, holding her hand for a second more before forcefully shoving both of his into his pockets.

They ambled towards Elise, Grace, and Isaac, who had sat a little ways away, close enough to the now-burning fire to get some warmth, but far enough to not inhale too much smoke.

“Just going for a walk with Lila,” Asher said lightly, nodding at Isaac. Isaac nodded back, and Elise and Grace waved goodbye at Lila, who waved back.

They continued past Elise, Grace, and Isaac, with Lila finding that a substantial number of students had now shuffled their way over, plenty seeming displeased by this turn of events. A few of the boys snickered as Asher passed, and another few attempted to give him high-fives, which he steadfastly ignored.

‘Odd,’ Lila thought, glancing back at the boys they’d passed. That kind of interaction wasn’t par for the course for Asher, as far as she was aware.

There was a collection of boulders that served as a natural fence-line towards the other side of the eating area which seemed to be Asher’s target. There weren’t any other students within earshot of here, at least, since most of them looked to be preferring being near the fire. It was fairly cold in this spot though there wasn’t any wind, which made it bearable.

Asher sat on one of the mid-sized boulders and Lila sat on the one next to him, feeling her previous anxiety rising up once more. He looked far too grim.

“So… I’ll probably be in trouble,” Asher said softly after a few moments of staring at his hands, which he’d clasped in his lap.

“In trouble?”

He lifted his eyes briefly, not even meeting her gaze before looking back down at his hands. “Yeah. Uh… well. Liam was starting shit.”

“Liam?” She couldn’t help the anger rising to her throat as she repeated his name. He’d somehow managed to peeve her several times this year and if Asher was in trouble because of Liam, he’d clearly pushed Asher over the edge.

“Yeah. He’d been trying to mess with me at the showers, saying stupid stuff about how I’m a deadbeat Dad and whatever. I ignored him, though Isaac was ready to deck him. Then he followed us towards the tents, still going on about it until I got fed up and said it wasn’t mine and to piss off. Big mistake, apparently.”

Asher leaned back on his boulder for a second before shaking his head. “Liam started laughing, so Isaac and I just went into the tent. Fin was in there, vibing or whatever. Then… well, Liam started saying shit about how I got cucked, and that it’ll happen to me again, since according to him, I’m ‘that type’. I tried to ignore him again, but then Isaac started getting real mad.”

“I’m guessing cucked means something about how Holly cheated on you?”

Asher winced. “Yeah.”

Lila was beginning to see where Asher might’ve gotten himself into trouble. He straightened up on his boulder and continued.

“Anyway, after a while someone told Liam to shut up about it, so he did. Mr Vanderbilt came by a little bit later and basically said it was lights out and time to sleep. I was pretty agitated, so I… kinda started talking about you with Isaac and Fin.” He scratched his chin, his cheeks pink. “I guess to get my mind off all the bullshit Liam was spouting, and just Holly in general.”

He paused, seeming reluctant to finish his story but he powered through regardless. “I thought he went to sleep, since I didn’t hear much from outside our tent until he said, ‘Oi, Asher, what’s it like getting cucked like a loser?’. I warned him to shut up, or he’d regret it. He said he wasn’t scared of a nerd who’s not good enough to have a faithful girl, essentially, and I just saw red. Got out and unpegged his whole tent. Kinda felt sorry for his tent buddies, but when they started screaming ‘cause their tent fell on them, I legged it back to mine instead of helping. Mr Vanderbilt was fuming. Spent about five minutes shouting at all of us, and I know Fin was really embarrassed.”

Lila couldn’t hold back her laugh. He stared at her in bewilderment.

“S-Sorry, I’m not laughing at you,” Lila clarified, catching her breath. “I just… the imagery. I can imagine that Liam flailed in his tent for ages.”

Asher relaxed his posture as he smiled at her. “Probably. I… kinda thought that you’d be mad at me.”

“Why would that be?” Lila blinked at him in confusion.

“Well… you tend to warn me against losing my cool.”

“It’s like you’ve forgotten that I slapped Livi. And Daniel, I guess, when I found out about him. Sure, I warn you against losing your cool, but that’s more so you don’t get in trouble, not ‘cause I necessarily disapprove. Liam deserved it. More, actually, but that was pretty good.”

He ran his fingers through his hair before standing up. “So, you’re really not mad at me?”

“Of course not,” Lila insisted, standing up as well. “Asher, like what you said to me when Alice yelled at me for losing the hockey game – defending yourself is always okay, especially when you didn’t do anything wrong. Where’d you even get this idea that I would be mad at you?”

“I… dunno anymore. I guess… I was worried since you usually tend to say no when I ask if I should have words with people.”

Lila laughed again, this one much gentler. “You’d destroy them if I let you have words with them. Learnt that with Piper.”

“Not like it stopped her being crazy,” Asher grumbled. Then, he smiled at Lila again, his eyes light with relief. “Looks like I kept Fin and Isaac up for nothing.”

“I’m pretty sure Isaac would’ve been up anyway, if he’d gotten riled up from Liam’s comments,” Lila replied, her tone reasonable. “As for Finley… well, I don’t know him but he didn’t seem mad about it.”

“He was getting there last night. If he hadn’t put his pillow over his face and begged me to go to sleep, I doubt I would’ve.”

Lila reached out to touch his arm, ensuring the contact was brief enough to not draw the ire of their teachers. “How did you sleep, anyway? No… night terrors or nightmares or weird dreams?”

“Just the usual. Well, my new usual. The one about losing you.”

Lila’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment, her emotions almost taking hold of her. Hearing him say that made her desperately want to tell him that it was impossible – that she was right there for him, whether physically or not, because she loved him. But she kept it in for now.

“You haven’t,” she finally said reassuringly.

“I know.”

They stood in silence for a few moments before a new thought occurred to Lila.

“So, I guess that means our PC classes know the baby’s not yours.”

Asher exhaled deeply. “Yeah. At this point, though, I think I’d prefer that everyone knew. When I first found out, I was really embarrassed that I couldn’t even pretend it was mine… but somehow, now that we’re together, I’m more embarrassed at the fact that some people still think I’m having a kid with someone else.”

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

Lila tried not to read into the implication that he wouldn’t be embarrassed if people thought he was having a kid with her. There wasn’t a hidden meaning in his words – or, at least, not that hidden meaning.

“That sounds fair to me,” she settled on saying.

“It’d be good if I didn’t have to repeat it, though. Hopefully, it gets out all around school, that it’s not mine, without me having to do anything.”

“I feel like it would. After hearing what Liam was doing, all the reactions you were getting this morning make a lot of sense now.”

“Ah. The high-fives?”

“Yeah, and everything else. I think everyone else was also annoyed at him, or at least thought you were justified in undoing his tent. So, they’d probably tell that story when they could, which would feature the fact that you were cheated on as a reason for why you undid his tent.”

“… Guess so.” He looked back over at the eating area before grinning at her. “Let’s head back.”

He seemed to be in a much bouncier mood, now that Lila had said she wasn’t mad at him for undoing Liam’s tent. Lila kept her hands intertwined in front of her so she wasn’t tempted to try and hold Asher’s hand.

They rejoined Elise, Grace, and Isaac near the fire, hanging out until breakfast was served. The counsellors had set up a makeshift breakfast bar, with cereals and toast to choose from, along with some yoghurt and fresh fruit.

“Happy campers,” Mick declared once everyone was about halfway through their breakfast, “we’ll be moving on to the next campsite today. That means you’ll need to pack up your tents and your bags so we can get moving to our first activity after breakfast. The walk this time won’t be far, but we’ll be canoeing across a lake to the next campsite. It’s a bigger one that you’ll stay at for longer, so you’ll see more of your cohort tonight and tomorrow night.”

There was a ripple of distaste from her classmates, though no one outwardly complained to Mick about this plan.

After breakfast, Lila, Elise, and Grace headed back to their tent to pack up. She changed into something that would be more canoeing-friendly before zipping up her hiking bag and tossing it outside the tent. Packing away their tent was far more efficient than putting it up in the end and it felt like no time at all before they returned to the common area.

Asher, Isaac and Finley were already there, standing together while they waited for everyone else to return. Lila, Grace, and Elise joined them both physically and in conversation.

Soon, it was time to head off. Rachael was once again delegated to taking extra things to the next campsite via her Ute, and Lila was glad that they didn’t have to lug their tents along with them.

The teachers and counsellors handed out packs of snacks – trail mix and drinks, mainly – before they assembled everyone into a similar order as yesterday’s hike.

This hike was much shorter and consequently far more pleasant than yesterday’s. Though Asher tried to take her bag again, Lila declined, concerned mainly by how little he seemed to have slept. There were far more activities to get through before night fell once again, after all.

After half an hour or so, they congregated by the side of a large lake edged with mangroves, complete with ducks peacefully swimming and diving some ways into the water. Bright orange canoes were sitting on the shoreline, waiting for the students to climb in and get going.

A medium-sized boat was idling to the left, with a gruff-looking man in a yellow raincoat and matching hat standing on board, his wiry beard speckled with grey hinting at his age.

Lila followed the instructions given to pass her hiking bag along to Henry, who helped load the bags onto the boat. Once all the bags were on, further instructions were given to put on life vests and assemble in groups of three – groups that didn’t necessarily need to be the groups they were in for tents.

Lila’s heart thumped. A group of three could mean-

“Hey,” Grace whispered, curling her arm around Lila’s. Lila stiffened, looking at her with mild alarm.

“Y-Yeah?”

“If we group up with Asher, then Elise and Isaac have to be together,” Grace continued her whispering, glancing at Asher, Isaac and Elise, who were inspecting the canoes. “Not sure who their third will be, but either way, it’d be romantic, right? Might get one of them in the mood to say something.”

“If they don’t capsize it,” Lila replied nervously. Since one of Lila’s goals for this camp was to get Elise and Isaac together, Lila couldn’t refuse Grace’s suggestion. Was this the opportunity she needed to take for her conversation with Grace?

Grace laughed. “Sounds like them. And sounds like they’d have a ball doing it too. It’s perfect.”

With that, it sounded entirely decided. Grace tugged Lila over to the others, a mischievous smile on her face. Could Lila really ruin Grace’s good mood like this?

“We’ll be in a group of three,” Grace announced, gesturing at Lila and Asher. Asher turned to Lila and Grace, horror flickering across his face for the briefest second. Lila wasn’t quite sure whether Grace caught it but reckoned that Grace might’ve figured that Asher would prefer to be with Isaac if she had.

“S-Sure,” Asher stammered, “uh, let me get some vests.”

He headed off in the direction of the life vests, his posture impeccably straight. Elise and Isaac glanced at each other before quickly looking away.

“U-Uh, I think I could see if Cecelia-”

“Finley might-”

Elise and Isaac both stopped speaking as soon as they recognised that the other had spoken.

“Maybe I’ll see if there’s another group-”

“One of the boys-”

They stopped speaking again, their faces turning similar shades of pink.

“Hey, Isaac, you got room in a canoe?” It was Finley’s voice, prompting everyone to face him. He was already wearing a life vest and armed with an oar. “Everyone else has gotten into groups already.”

Isaac’s posture relaxed as he nodded. “Yeah, looks like I’ve got room.”

“Sick,” Finley grinned, “Asher’s with you, yeah?”

“Asher’s in a different group,” Isaac replied reluctantly. Finley looked at Lila and Grace, who were standing awkwardly off to the side, before nodding.

“Probably for the best,” Finley responded. “Who’s your third?”

“Me,” Elise said meekly, her face steadily reddening even further.

“I didn’t know you knew any girls, Isaac,” Finley laughed. “She your girlfriend?”

“She has a name,” Isaac said shortly. “Elise. And she’s a friend. Who happens to be a girl.”

“Right, right. Sorry, Elise.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Elise replied quietly.

There was a pause, one that was slightly too long, before Asher reappeared, armed with bundles of life vests and oars.

“Oh, hey Finley,” Asher’s tone was a touch surprised as he handed out the vests and oars to the rest.

“Hey. Xavier and the others decided to group up without me.”

“Ouch,” Asher replied plainly, buckling his life vest on.

“Eh, they said they’ll have me for another group activity. It’s not the end of the world.”

Finley sounded nonchalant, but Lila felt that perhaps he felt more aggrieved than he was letting on, with the exaggerated shrug he gave.

Lila put her life vest on with a sigh. Now that she would be trapped on a canoe with Grace, there really wasn’t any excuse to not have this conversation.

“Can I borrow you for a sec?” Asher asked Lila, his tone meaningful. Lila glanced at the rest of the group and accepted upon seeing Grace ask Elise to help with her life vest.

They strayed far enough to be out of earshot of anyone else, but still within eyesight. Asher twisted his oar between his hands, his expression nervous.

“Are we going to talk to her?” he asked after visibly swallowing.

“We have to,” Lila replied softly. “I don’t know what’s coming next, and I’d rather not have to orchestrate an excuse today if I can help it. She was the one who suggested that we be in a group, actually.”

Asher gave a low whistle. “She might regret that.”

“She might.”

“In that case, we should probably canoe away from the others.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“I think Mick said it wasn’t a race about three times, so we should be fine to take it slow. You… have any ideas on what to say?”

“None at all. I’ve been too nervous to try and think about it.”

“Ah, shit. Same.”

They stared at each other for a moment. The absence of a plan between both of them was a terrifying realisation.

“I… was just going to go for it,” Lila finally said, breaking eye contact with him.

“Not like we can do anything else,” Asher sighed. He bit his bottom lip before shaking his head. “Well, I’m not horrible at canoeing. I can probably lead us far enough away from everyone else for a conversation.”

“I’m… also really scared for what happens afterwards,” Lila admitted. “That’s one of the reasons why I haven’t thought about what to say.”

Asher reached out and lightly brushed her arm before standing back. “I know. But… can you really go on any longer without having this conversation?”

“Definitely not.” Lila paused before exhaling deeply, the action causing her fingers to shake. Asher glanced behind her before pulling her in for a hug, firm yet gentle, before releasing her.

“Let’s head back. They’ll start wondering where we are. At the very least, we’ll be together… in a straight line and not facing each other, I guess.”

His comment earned a chuckle from Lila, though she wished she could have enjoyed the hug just a moment longer. They headed back to their friends, who had secured two canoes. It seemed they had returned at just the right moment, for the man in the boat began to give instructions on how to canoe. He then started to drive his boat to the right side of the lake, out of the way of the canoes.

It was a mad scramble for all the students to push their canoes into the lake and clamber in without capsizing. Asher sat in the front of their canoe, with Lila managing to convince Grace to sit in the middle with a note of anxiety in her voice that she couldn’t shake. With one last push, Lila stepped in, oar at the ready.

Checking behind her, she could see that Finley was in the front of the canoe he shared with Elise and Isaac, Isaac being at the back.

Most of the canoes had an unsteady start as they drifted forwards due to the residual momentum of being pushed. Mick and Henry brought up the rear in a two-person canoe, with Ms Wang and Mr Vanderbilt floating peacefully in another next to them.

“Follow the boat!” Henry called. Said boat roared to life, guiding the students across the lake. It was at this moment that a couple of canoes capsized, though Lila tried not to look in those directions. From the previous camp, she knew that that would be a recipe for capsizing herself.

Lila waited to put her oar in the water for a few moments, watching as most of the canoes passed her by. Neither Grace nor Asher commented on her lack of participation as they slowly paddled, the gentle lapping of the waves against their canoe steadying Lila’s resolve. She could do this.

“There they go,” Grace giggled, pointing at Elise, Isaac and Finley’s canoe. They looked to be talking about something, with Elise heartily laughing, but, even though they couldn’t have been more than five metres away, whatever it was remained indecipherable to Lila over the engine of the boat ahead. Shouts, screams and laughs came from all directions as their classmates paddled across the lake, which also helped to disguise what they were talking about.

She placed her oar into the water, each stroke helping her mind think about what to say. The counsellors and teachers were trailing far behind since they were assisting the capsized canoes. No one else was any closer to them than Elise, Isaac and Finley, who were gaining speed away from them too.

It was now or never.

“Hey… Grace,” Lila said, clearing her throat. Grace straightened up, glancing behind her before looking forwards again.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

Lila sighed. Asher turned around, meeting her eyes and giving her a slight encouraging nod before turning around again. At the very least, it seemed like he could hear her.

“A… couple weeks ago now,” Lila said reluctantly, paddling once. “Asher and I wanted to find a private place to talk.” She paused before sighing again. “So… we went to the Performing Arts area.”

Lila saw Grace’s grip tighten around her oar, though she didn’t say anything.

“There… were a few boarded up classrooms. Probably to control the lighting. But… there was one that had a gap.”

Grace pulled her oar out of the water and placed it on her lap, still without a word.

“Through the gap… we saw you. And someone else.”

Lila couldn’t tell whether Grace had begun to tremble, or her eyesight was wavering due to the waves rocking their canoe.

“Ms Alexander. And you two started kissing.”

“Mustn’t have been me,” Grace replied, her voice quivering at the word ‘me’. “You saw someone else.”

“Believe me, Grace, I wish I had,” Lila said, her tone firm. “You were facing us. I thought you were going to sing, so I almost went inside the classroom when we saw… that.”

“Lila, it’s… not…” Grace trailed off before hanging her head.

“And the bracelet that I helped pick out, at the museum. I’ve seen Ms Alexander wear it.”

It seemed that words had failed Grace – something which worried Lila. She couldn’t see Grace’s expression, nor could she read her mind. What was she thinking?

“I… checked the legislation,” Asher added. Grace seemed startled that he spoke, though he evidently didn’t notice as he continued. “Grace, it’s illegal, you know.”

“… What do you mean?” Grace’s voice sounded genuinely confused.

“Dating a teacher,” Asher replied in a low voice.

“No, it’s not. We started dating after I turned 16. I’m over the age of consent.” Grace’s tone was combative.

“When it comes to dating a teacher, it doesn’t matter,” Asher stated, paddling as he spoke. “There’s a power imbalance.”

“No there isn’t. Mia treats me with respect and like a proper girlfriend-”

“That’s not what I mean. Grace, of course you think that. Teachers automatically have this hold over their students, being an authority figure. She groomed-”

“She didn’t do anything like that. I asked her to be my girlfriend,” Grace sharply cut Asher off. “She’s the one that said we shouldn’t-”

“Grace, she’s the adult,” Lila said gently. “Being your teacher means she has to say no, regardless if you make the first move and even if you’re persistent. It’s not right.”

“Lila, we’re in love,” Grace sounded desperate now, pulling her shoulders inward. “It’s not like she’s using me.”

“Grace, it’s illegal for a reason,” Lila replied, her tone even.

“But you don’t know Mia,” Grace insisted. “She’s kind. She takes care of me. She makes me happy, Lila.”

“I’m… worried about you,” Lila responded, placing her oar in the water. “Specifically, I’m worried that… you’re not seeing what’s going on here.”

“What’s going on here is that I’m happy and you’re thinking that’s bad.”

“You being happy isn’t what’s bad-”

“Then what’s the issue?”

“It’s illegal.”

“So what?”

Lila blinked. Although she and Asher had been ignoring the law in some circumstances, she never would have thought that Grace would disregard it, too. She’d always seemed so… responsible. Straight edge.

“If you get caught, she’ll lose her teaching licence,” Asher interjected. “Since it’s illegal, she might get charged, too.”

“Are you threatening me?” Grace’s voice rose in pitch, audibly conveying her panic. “Don’t take her away from me.”

“We’re not threatening you-”

“Then why bring it up at all?”

“Grace, it… it’s not right. I… don’t want you to get hurt. And it’s not like you can be out in the open with her,” Lila replied softly. “I know you feel like you love her, but what about ten years from now, when you’re an adult? What kind of adult looks at a 16-year-old like… like they’re a dateable option? Your lives are so different. She’s finished Uni, she’s got a career. You’re still in high school. Doesn’t that just… feel wrong to you? It’s not adding up. Besides, teachers are meant to protect their students – not have sex with them, or harm them-”

“I’ve never felt hurt with her-”

“What about when she rejected going to the museum with us? She knows it’s wrong, and she made you cry over it,” Lila interrupted Grace, her tone colder than she’d wanted it to be. “If it wasn’t wrong, you wouldn’t need to sneak around. If it wasn’t wrong, you could go on double dates with us – or a triple date, I guess, if Elise and Isaac get together. You’re missing out on sharing those parts with us-”

“I like that it’s private. It means it’s all for me,” Grace’s voice faltered and she placed her oar in the water, wiping at her face with the back of her hand before beginning to row with far more power than she’d previously shown.

“Grace-”

“I’m done talking. Leave me alone.”

Lila’s heart dropped. This… had been what she was afraid of. She’d pushed Grace too far.

She silently began to push her oar through the water, trying to keep herself from bursting into tears and letting the oar go by accident. With the force of the three of them working together, despite how that conversation went, they efficiently made their way to the other side. Asher jumped out first, holding on to the front of the canoe with one hand and offering for Grace to take his other, his eyes looking at the water. Instead of accepting his hand, Grace jumped out herself, splashing all three of them in the process.

Lila took Asher’s hand instead, and he gently helped her out. Once she was out, the two of them pulled the canoe up the shoreline, setting them next to the others that were already there.

A blonde, female counsellor Lila hadn’t seen before was directing those who had arrived to take their life vests off and place their oars in a pile just in front of her on some tarp. Lila followed these instructions, taking a brief look around to see whether Elise, Isaac and Finley had made it just yet.

They were dragging their canoe to the shore, all laughing as they did so. As soon as they unbuckled their vests and put down their oars, Grace was by Elise’s side, holding on to her arm.

Lila wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her own hands. Really, she wanted to hold Asher’s hand, but she would probably be reprimanded by teachers or Isaac. She tucked them under her arms, looking towards the lake to try and act casual.

Asher stood by her side, just barely close enough to touch. It was only a small comfort as tears began to well up in her eyes. She took a deep breath, which stemmed them for now, purposefully avoiding his own eyes which seemed to bore into her skull.

Isaac, Elise and Finley engaged in some lighthearted conversation, mostly about their canoeing across the lake, and neither Asher, Grace nor Lila joined in. It didn’t seem like anyone noticed their unusual quietness, which Lila was grateful for.

Lila went through the motions required of her from there, once everyone had scrambled onto dry land. Her mind began to feel foggy, the intensity increasing alongside how frosty the atmosphere between her and Grace felt. She hoped that she was imagining it, but as their hike to their new campsite – one that was to hold four classes, rather than two – started, Elise sidled up to her, bagless by virtue of Isaac.

“You good?” Elise asked, the expression in her eyes conveying concern.

“Me? Yeah,” Lila replied lightly, looking ahead at Asher, who was walking along with both their bags.

“You sure?” Elise pressed. “You’ve been awfully quiet.”

Lila sighed. Of course. Elise had noticed.

“Just… tired. Rowing was a lot harder than I thought. Since I usually use my legs in hockey.”

“That’s fair,” Elise looked doubtful but skipped ahead to Grace, taking her by the arm. Lila sighed again, taking the opportunity to walk by herself for the moment.

‘That… could’ve gone better,’ she lamented. She wasn’t exactly sure what she could’ve said that would’ve made the conversation better. Perhaps she should’ve been more tactful? Maybe not mentioned the bit about teachers protecting students? A canoe was also a terrible choice in the end, but there really wouldn’t have been somewhere else that could’ve guaranteed the three of them a chance to let it all out.

At the same time though, it was done now. She was sure Grace wouldn’t want to talk to her, at least not anytime soon. Perhaps Grace would decide that she couldn’t be friends with Lila any more. After all, technically Lila had tried to interfere with Grace’s relationship. How would this new dynamic work? Obviously, Grace wouldn’t tell Elise that she was dating a teacher, so Elise would have no idea who to side with – or she’d just side with no one and they’d all drift apart…

“Careful,” Asher’s voice startled her to a halt and she looked up. He’d turned around at some point and was now standing before her, his hand outstretched. It seemed that she’d almost scraped her shins on a sizeable boulder without realising.

“Thanks,” she said quietly. He nodded and they both sidestepped it, following the trail. Grace, Isaac and Elise were steadily disappearing ahead – something that oddly didn’t bother Lila.

“It… could’ve gone better,” he said after a few paces. Lila nodded, not willing herself to say any words.

“But it also could’ve gone worse,” he added after several more paces. He wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t quite as comforting as she would’ve liked.

“Just give it some time,” he said, glancing at her. “It seemed like it was a massive shock that we knew, with how she reacted.”

“… I guess so,” Lila responded listlessly. “I’ve just… never seen Grace react like this before to anything I’ve said. She’s never really given me the silent treatment, and it’s making me feel anxious. I just don’t feel like we were really able to talk it out fully.”

“We weren’t,” Asher agreed, “but if she absorbs the fact that we know, she might end up being more willing down the line to talk it out. I mean, what kind of result are we hoping for? That they’ll break up?”

“I don’t really know. I… think they should. But she sounded really scared about the idea that they would. She feels like they’re in love,” Lila lowered her voice, choosing her words carefully so that eavesdroppers wouldn’t figure out anything more. “And she said she’s really happy. But I don’t know how much of that is an illusion.”

“At least she knows that you know,” Asher said softly. “Now it’s off your chest. I know that… well, there’s uneasiness now. But you’ve let out the secret – that you know what she’s been up to. Eventually, you’ll feel relief.”

“I know you’re right, but it doesn’t feel like you should be,” Lila mumbled, kicking a rock out of her way.

“What, you want to be miserable?”

“Of course not,” she frowned, only to see him looking playfully back at her. “Ah, you’re teasing me.”

“Teasing isn’t the right word – but we can go with that.”

They exchanged a smile, continuing on their journey. This hike was far shorter than the one from yesterday. Upon arriving at the common area, she noticed many students from classes 11D and 11C wandering around. They must’ve arrived at this campsite yesterday. Had they had this massive area to themselves? Or had Lila and Asher’s class replaced another?

Elise, Isaac and Grace were already sitting down on a spare bit of tarp, their legs outstretched before them in a semi-circle. Lila contemplated dragging Asher to a different spot but was thwarted by Isaac’s encouraging wave. Grace was staring at her knees as though she’d never seen them before, and Lila hesitantly sat next to Elise, with Asher sitting on Lila’s other side.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Isaac commented as they sat down. “Actually, it’s been a pretty good morning so far.”

“Mmhm,” Lila murmured half-heartedly. The silence between the group lingered. Just as it felt that it might swallow Lila whole, their camp counsellors appeared, giving a quick head count before Henry spoke.

“Alright, same as yesterday, tents are behind you all. We’ll guide you to the female and male areas. Just be mindful that some of the campers were here last night, so you’ll be sharing these spaces with a few more people.”

Everyone collectively stood, picked their tents, and followed their requisite teachers. Lila could hear many of the students chatting and laughing as they trailed behind Ms Wang. She pointed out the areas they could pitch their tents in and off they went.

Lila set down the tent and her hiking bag in a spot that seemed relatively rock-free. Grace hardly engaged with any of Elise’s chatter, which centred around her canoe experience with Isaac and Finley, on the way here. Elise’s ramblings continued as the three of them pitched their tent, threw down their sleeping bags and mats, and returned to the common area with not a word exchanged between Lila and Grace.

Once all of 11E and 11F had returned, they were provided with their offerings of morning tea and the confirmation that they would have free time until lunch. After lunch, they’d head over to an obstacle course among the trees, which included a zipline, before returning for dinner and having more free time.

As soon as the announcements were over, Grace stood up, clutching her morning tea.

“I’m going to nap in the tent,” she said stiffly, immediately turning tail and heading towards the girls’ tents.

“Seriously?” Elise asked, staring wildly at Lila. “She’ll hardly start napping before lunch is ready.”

Lila shrugged. “Rowing was hard.”

“You guys made it back before we did,” Elise pointed out. Lila shrugged again.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you guys, but something is,” Elise said with narrowed eyes. “I’m going to go check on Grace.”

Lila was about to say ‘knock yourself out’, but considered that it would be a bit suspicious if she did. Instead, Lila nodded and waved Elise off. Elise cast her a wary look before hurrying after Grace, calling out for her.

Lila brought her knees to her chest, breaking into her trail mix. Isaac and Asher were both eyeing her, so she stared intently at her trail mix.

“What was that?” Isaac asked. Lila decided not to respond.

“What, can’t Grace be tired?” Asher replied, shoving a mandarin slice in his mouth.

“Of course she can,” Isaac stated simply. “But it’s weird that you’re not checking on her too, Lila.”

“We… got into a disagreement on the canoe,” Lila explained, her tone dejected.

“About what?”

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Lila said, bringing her face down on her knees. “Please.”

Isaac was silent for a beat before saying, “Okay.”

“Thank you.”

Lila continued to have her face on her knees, no longer having any appetite at all.

“Oh, hey Fin,” Asher’s voice said casually. “Why’re you here?”

“Me? I just spent a magical canoe ride with Isaac over here,” Finley’s voice replied, lowering in height as he evidently sat down. “So I may as well sit here, y’know. Keep the fire going.”

“Was tent building not enough?” Asher responded, his tone bemused.

“Clearly,” Finley uttered. “By the way, where’s Elise? And that other girl?”

“Went to their tent,” Isaac explained. Lila finally looked up. Finley was beside Asher, looking rather comfortable as he sat with his legs splayed before him, leaning back on his hands.

“I see. You know, for a guy who says he’s not dating Elise, you sure are chummy with her,” Finley said candidly. Isaac’s face immediately turned red.

“Am not,” he retorted.

“Are too. If you flirted any harder, I think I would’ve thrown up in the canoe.”

“I wasn’t flirting.”

Finley raised an eyebrow at Isaac. “Suuure. If you’re not into her, then you should probably stop staring at her huge b-”

“Shut up,” Isaac snapped, his face still red.

Finley sat up, his eyes alight with realisation. “You like her. So why don’t you date her?”

Isaac exhaled deeply before falling backwards onto the tarp. “She likes someone else.”

“What if she doesn’t?” Lila questioned, looking down at his form.

“It’s… impossible.”

“Isaac, I haven’t said this directly, but you do know that I’m one of her best friends, right? Trust me. She likes you.”

Isaac slowly propped himself up. “I’m… going to grab something from my tent.”

“Isaac-”

Lila’s attempt to call him back fell on deaf ears. The group watched Isaac go, with no one saying a word until he disappeared from view.

“He’s a bit stubborn,” Finley commented. “Seriously, I think even you two would’ve thought about capsizing the canoe with the way they were going on.”

“We’ve been trying to get them together,” Asher said, his tone a little forlorn. “But even if we say that they like each other, they keep denying it.”

“The way I see it, it’ll just happen,” Finley said nonchalantly.

“Both of them can be really stubborn,” Asher said matter-of-factly. “Nothing will happen until they’re sure that the other likes them back.”

“I see,” Finley replied, looking in the direction of the tents. “That could be an issue then.”

The trio simultaneously sighed. Eventually, they did end up talking about other things – mostly about what Finley’s other friends had gotten up to. Apparently, their canoe had capsized so he was glad that he’d been on Isaac and Elise’s canoe in the end.

Lunch was announced and Lila considered telling Elise and Grace. She pursed her lips before she saw them approach from the side of the girls’ tents, with Isaac walking over from the boys’ tents.

The new atmosphere, when they joined Lila, Asher and Finley, was awkward enough for Finley to excuse himself. Which made it worse.

Elise seemed to keep trying to catch Lila’s eye as they dished their lunch, even more so as they ate, and it was almost oppressive by the time they started moving on to the obstacle course.

Lila managed to ignore Elise as much as possible throughout their time on the obstacle course – mainly by swiftly charging ahead, far beyond her classmates.

She couldn’t deny that she’d had even a little bit of fun, but her main goal was to escape any possibility of Elise cornering her. It was undeniable that Grace had said something to Elise about their conversation on the canoe, but Lila wasn’t prepared for that scenario.

Once she cleared the zipline, Lila found a shaded spot under a tree to sit under. She watched as her classmates laughed, squealed and stumbled across the course. Asher wasn’t so far behind Lila, with Isaac just behind him. Elise and Grace were far behind the boys, seemingly keeping pace with one another.

“I see you’re practising for the Olympics,” Asher joked as he plopped down next to Lila, removing his bright orange helmet.

“How’d you figure that out so quickly?” Lila joked back. He laughed and she leaned against his shoulder. Soon, Isaac joined them, and they were handed afternoon tea while they waited for the rest of their classmates to finish up. Elise and Grace were almost dead last, which meant that they weren’t able to talk to Lila, Asher or Isaac, since they spent their time inhaling their afternoon tea.

The rest of the afternoon and dinner passed by with nothing much of consequence – Grace and Elise didn’t hang around with Lila, Asher or Isaac, even when dinner was served. Isaac had brought along a set of Uno cards, which they played until the darkness made it hard to see the cards.

Lila didn’t necessarily want to go to bed, but there was nothing else to do. She would have to go into the tent where Grace was probably venting to Elise, and then she’d have to sleep next to both of them. She reluctantly said goodnight to Asher and Isaac. Asher hurriedly stood, glancing at Isaac before looking back at Lila.

“I-I’ll walk you as far as I can,” he said, placing his hands in his pockets.

“… Thanks.”

The chill was pressing in around her, and she folded her arms against her chest to try and keep her warmth.

“You going okay?” Asher asked once they were quite a distance away from Isaac.

“Yeah. I’ll… be fine. It… might be better once I sleep it off,” Lila replied, looking over at where her tent was. She could see a light was on, which meant that Elise and Grace were still up. She shuddered involuntarily.

“I… wish I could stay with you,” Asher murmured, gently touching her shoulder. “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Lila smiled. “Just a few more days of camp.”

“Yeah. Goodnight, Lila.”

“Goodnight, Asher.”

She hesitated, wanting to spend more time with him until a gust of wind hurried her along.

Lila could hear voices inside her tent as she began to take off her shoes, though she couldn’t make out any of their words. She took a deep breath, her fingers quivering upon the zip. She could do this.

She opened it, the conversation inside ceasing immediately.

“Hey,” Elise said as Lila crawled inside and zipped the tent up again.

“Hey,” Lila replied quietly. “I’m pretty tired, so… I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

“Okay. Goodnight,” Elise responded simply. Lila tried not to read into Elise’s behaviour, but she could tell something was off. What had Grace said happened?

Unlike last night, falling asleep was far more difficult – and not just because of the rocks underneath her sleeping mat.