Chapter Sixteen

Lila found herself stood on Asher’s porch yet again on Saturday morning, dressed casually in a red t‑shirt, jeans and Vans this time, backpack hanging off her left shoulder. Though the t-shirt was slightly tighter than she would have liked, it was at least better than the dress she had worn last time. Never again would she trust a buttoned dress whilst getting changed in a rush.

Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the right side of Asher’s front doors. A minute passed before it slowly opened. It was Marlene, looking distinctly unkempt with her messy bun askew, flour on her nose and something wet down the front of her apron.

“G-Good morning, Marlene,” Lila said tentatively. Marlene simply smiled and ushered Lila inside with a bow. Lila took her shoes off and slipped on the house slippers that were waiting for her.

“I’m testing a new recipe,” Marlene said, gesturing to her floured nose and wet apron without so much as a greeting. “Oh, and Mr Wagner is just upstairs in his room,” Marlene added, still holding the door open.

Lila nodded, goosebumps suddenly rising along her arms and neck. Standing in Marlene’s presence without Asher was nerve-wracking, especially after their last encounter. As if on cue, loud footsteps bounded down the staircase at the far end of the house, and Marlene closed the door behind Lila with a soft click.

Lila made her way further into the house and met Asher by the kitchen bench. He was dressed casually in a slightly crumpled longline navy t-shirt that complemented his fair but olive-tinged skin very well, his light grey tracksuit shorts hung low on his hips.

“Hello,” he said, smiling at Lila, though his eyes shared none of the joy. His eyes flickered behind Lila’s shoulder briefly before he indicated to Lila to follow him.

“Are we going to the library?” she asked, her stomach suddenly dropping at the prospect of being back in Asher’s space within the house. Though it was nicely secluded, it was exactly the setting for the rumours to explode and multiply, should anyone from school find out she was in there alone with Asher.

“Not today,” Asher shook his head, leading the way as usual. “Dad’s still wrapping up the finishing touches of his workshop.”

“Oh,” Lila replied as they climbed the staircase. “I would’ve thought he’d have already presented the workshop.”

Asher shrugged. “Same, but apparently that’s this week coming. He’s travelling there on Monday.”

“So, you’d be alone with Gabriel and Marlene?” Lila asked softly. Asher nodded, opening the door to the rumpus room and gesturing for Lila to go through. The room was set up exactly as it had been last time, except new drinks were waiting to be opened in the kitchenette. The snack tray featuring finger sandwiches was already on the coffee table, and it looked as though Asher had already eaten a couple judging by the crumbs sitting atop his scattered school supplies.

Lila put her backpack down next to the couch as she took a seat. She breathed a small sigh of relief. Asher seemed relatively normal with Lila despite the awkwardness of the past couple of weeks. Maybe he didn’t hate her, after all.

“… juice?” Asher’s voice drifted to Lila, snapping her back to her senses.

“J-Juice sounds great,” she replied, only half-convinced she answered his question appropriately. She could hear Asher wordlessly opening a bottle and pouring something into a cup. He made his way over to Lila and passed her a cup of orange-coloured juice.

“Tropical juice,” he said by way of explanation as he took a sip of his own cup. He pushed aside some of his supplies to make room for his cup. Lila put her own cup down. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Asher directly. Her heart had decided to play up again, loudly, and she feared it would burst out of her chest if she looked at Asher.

They sat in awkward silence on the couch for some time, neither one of them apparently wanting to be the first to speak. Then–

“Uh-”

“I-”

They both cut each other off with nothing of substance. Lila shut her mouth with a snap in embarrassment, staring at her hands as if they didn’t belong to her. Now that they were alone together without Marlene hovering behind them, Lila realised that her first assumption was absolutely incorrect. This was distinctly the most awkward they had been with each other to date. It felt even worse than their first meeting at Asher’s.

Lila could hear Asher rub his face and exhale loudly before he began to speak again.

“H-How are you holding up?” he asked, losing steam towards the end of the question.

“G-Great,” Lila lied. Immediately her face turned bright red, and she hid it in her hands.

“Oh God,” Asher said, moving slightly closer to inspect Lila’s face. “You’re not crying, are you?”

Lila threw her hands into her lap. “No,” she said defiantly. She wasn’t crying, though she was considering it as a viable option in the circumstances. Asher leaned back, taking a deep breath.

“Good,” he said softly, averting his gaze from her. They sat in silence for another few moments before Asher coughed uncomfortably.

“Um, so… the dance,” he trailed off.

“Yep,” replied Lila.

“It was…”

“Kinda fun,” smiled Lila, though she still stared at her hands instead of looking at Asher’s face.

“Yeah… it was. We… we work well together. B-But I just want to say that I’m really sorry.”

“About what?”

“About Connor. And you. I really shoved my foot in it, didn’t I?”

Lila finally looked up at Asher, who was fiddling with his hands. He seemed incredibly nervous. He quickly looked away from Lila, instead looking at something behind her.

“Asher, you’ve already apologised for that. Like I said last time, it’s fine,” Lila said. “I appreciated it, really. He was… being a creep.”

“I know, but it’s not like the consequences went away.”

More tense silence followed before Asher buried his face in his hands.

“Look, Lila… I don’t want to say this… but I don’t think we should hang out after the assignment’s over.”

It felt as though the air had completely vanished from Lila’s lungs as they plummeted towards her feet. She couldn’t catch her breath in time to respond to what Asher had said, but he continued on regardless.

“These rumours… are ruining my life,” he said, his face still in his hands. “Holly’s really upset by them.”

“… I see,” Lila choked. She involuntarily coughed and shook her head, trying to get a grip on herself. “It’s fine.”

Asher lifted his face from his hands, looking at Lila with another of his unfathomable expressions.

“I-I’m glad you understand,” he said, his voice sounding strangely stifled. “This does mean, though, that… well, you won’t be able to help me find my Mum anymore.”

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Lila nodded, her eyes watering slightly. Was the aircon blowing into them?

“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” he added hurriedly. “Seriously. Based on the structure you’ve given me, I think I can carry on by myself.”

“Asher, I don’t think you should do this by yourself,” Lila said sharply, giving him a piercing gaze. He seemed to wither slightly under it but otherwise didn’t say anything further. “I mean it. You’ll drive yourself crazy and someone needs to keep you in check.”

“I’ll be fine,” he said dismissively.

“Have you told Holly? Or Isaac?”

“… No.”

“If I can’t help, you should at least recruit someone else,” Lila said seriously.

“I don’t want anyone else to help me,” Asher said, his voice suddenly taking a determined tone. “It’s you or no one, I’m afraid.”

“Okay,” Lila said simply.

“W-What I mean is that I want as few people to know as possible,” Asher said quickly, his cheeks pink.

“I understand.”

“Besides, I don’t think Holly or Isaac would know where to begin to help me. They’d probably be a hindrance more than anything else.”

“Okay.”

Lila stared down at her slippers and scuffed them along the floor gently. Truthfully, she wanted to argue against Asher’s decision. He’d already shown that he was mere minutes away from falling over in exhaustion before he told Lila. It wasn’t healthy for him to go at it alone again, but… it was still his issue. Not hers.

Lila’s eyes began to swim with tears, but she rapidly blinked them away. She could hear Asher attempting to speak but faltering last second. Lila still couldn’t bring herself to look at him. It wouldn’t do her any good to see his expression now, anyway. He’d already decided.

“L-Let’s just get this practice out of the way,” Lila finally said, leaning over the side of the couch to pull out her English materials.

“Yeah… let’s do that…”

They spent the rest of the morning running through their presentation and script. As they conducted their run-throughs, Lila became increasingly fidgety. Asher’s suggestion that they stop hanging out after the project was over was weighing on her mind, causing her to stumble and hesitate over the script much to Asher’s clear annoyance.

Lila was frustrated with herself endlessly. She had already known that it would come to this, though she tried to deny it to herself. But now that he had said it, she wasn’t sure why it was affecting her so much. It had only been a matter of time. He had a girlfriend, after all. No matter how well they worked together, or how comfortable or engaged she felt whilst working towards the truth behind Asher’s Mum’s disappearance, Lila couldn’t stand in the way of Asher and Holly. After all, Asher looked so happy when he mentioned Holly and seemed so distraught now that the rumours were threatening to tear them apart.

Eventually, Marlene’s voice crackled through the intercom, breaking their concentration and calling them to lunch. They obediently made their way downstairs without a word and were met with the smell of pizza. Curious, Lila sat in her usual place at the table but noticed the lack of cutlery beside her porcelain plate. Marlene bustled in, carrying two small wooden paddles. She placed them on the table with a faint grin, looking proud of herself. From this vantage point, Lila could see two humble pizzas, one with ham and cheese and the other an assortment of vegetables, spinach leaves and mushrooms.

“Handmade pizzas,” she announced. “I tried very hard today.”

“Smells delicious,” Lila said, sniffing the air, “thank you very much, Marlene.”

Lila helped herself to a slice of each pizza, figuring that she was just meant to eat with her hands. Asher didn’t make any moves to get food, his eyes seeming distant.

“You okay?” Lila asked, raising a slice to her mouth. It was piping hot. The cheese stretched down towards her plate as if trying a daring escape to avoid being eaten. Asher jerked like she’d startled him before he shook his head.

“Nah, yeah, I’m good,” he said, hurriedly reaching to grab some pizza. Marlene gave them both a slight smile before moving back to the kitchen. It seemed she would not be joining them for lunch again. Once lunch was finished, Lila and Asher meandered their way into the rumpus room. Asher poured himself another drink after offering one to Lila, who declined. She remained standing even as Asher walked over to the couch, looking at her curiously and clutching the top of his cup as if his hand were a claw machine.

“Nice carrying technique,” Lila nodded, a small chuckle escaping her lips.

“What can I say? Sometimes I’d like to be a claw machine at an arcade,” Asher said jokingly, placing his cup down as he sat on the couch. The uneasy atmosphere between them appeared to abate slightly. Lila inhaled deeply before she spoke again.

“Asher, is there any way that I can keep helping you?”

He slowly stood up again, turning to look at Lila. He looked taken aback, his eyes studying her face. Lila contemplated saying ‘never mind’ and carrying on with their English practice, but instead adjusted her posture as she waited for Asher to respond.

“I… didn’t think you wanted to help me, to be honest,” he said after a lengthy pause, the tips of his ears pink as he finally tore his eyes away from Lila. Lila reeled in shock before she quickly recovered.

“Why’s that?” she asked, moving over to the couch now. Asher rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced up at the ceiling, pressing his lips together firmly.

“I’ve never really had anyone want to help me,” he finally replied softly, his shoulders slumped as if in shame.

“Really?” Lila slowly took a seat, her eyes fixated on Asher as flashes of varying emotion crossed his face.

“I mean, I’ve been the Dux for how long?” Asher said darkly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And it’s not exactly like my family’s hurting for cash. I’m usually the helper, not the helpee. Even though I know for a fact that I’m not popular in the slightest, you wouldn’t think it when holidays and exam time comes around. I helped everyone who asked, at first, but gradually, it wore me down. People took advantage of me and I eventually told them to piss off… That’s when the rumours about me got really bad…” he trailed off before giving Lila a sideways look and exhaling deeply.

“I don’t know why I keep spilling all that kind of stuff to you,” he grimaced. “I don’t even say this kinda stuff to Isaac or Holly.”

“Must be part of my natural charm,” Lila joked, and he gave a half-hearted chuckle for her efforts. “But I’m being serious. I want to help you.”

“Voluntarily, or because you feel obligated to after I dragged you into this and put this burden on you?” he asked, guilt evidently colouring his words.

“Asher,” Lila shuffled closer to him on the couch, looking up at him earnestly. “It may have started as an obligation, but I’ve still offered to help even though you’ve given me an out, haven’t I?”

Asher held his head in his hands for a moment before wiping his face, nodding slowly. “I can’t refute that,” he mumbled.

“No sir,” Lila said playfully, shaking her head. “You cannot.”

Their eyes met again, though this time it felt as though the air between them was charged with energy, the weight of Lila’s words and strength of her conviction seemingly registering in Asher’s gaze. Lila felt herself sinking into his warm, honey-brown eyes before fluttering hers shut and moving back to her original position on the couch.

“… Thank you for your offer, Lila,” Asher said. “I appreciate it. I… don’t know how you’d be able to at the minute, especially with these rumours and how they’re upsetting Holly.”

“What if we get rid of them?” Lila asked, looking at her English notebook intently.

“I’ve tried,” Asher replied gloomily, sipping his cup.

“I’ve got some leads on the source,” Lila replied quietly, opening the cover of her notebook repeatedly.

Asher suddenly stood up, knocking his empty cup across the coffee table. “Who is it?” he demanded, shaking slightly. “‘The source’ sounds like one person. How do you know it’s just one person? Tell me! I have to talk to them.”

“W-Well, I’m not going to tell you who I think it is,” Lila said, crossing her arms defiantly.

“Why not?” Asher growled, crossing his own arms as well, matching her pose. “Lila, I have to know.”

Lila squirmed slightly under his intense glare and bit her bottom lip. He was right, of course. The rumours were as much of a problem to him as they were to her, though Lila could acknowledge that Asher had much more to lose due to them.

“It… is a she, and I’m not giving you her name,” she said slowly, against her better judgement to say nothing at all, “but Isaac said that he thought the rumours were originating from a particular PC class. Not yours or mine. And… I think she’s been following me.”

Asher looked down contemplatively at Lila for a moment. “Lila, you’ve got to tell me. Let me help you.”

“No,” Lila said forcefully, “I’m being serious. But I can say that I’ve ruled out Ayla and Brittany, at least. I think it’s one of their friends.”

“All the more reason for me to know,” Asher said, his voice sounding almost frantic, gesturing wildly. “If it’s one of their friends, I have to do somethi-”

“I can handle it,” Lila said, attempting to sound confident, raising her hand in a ‘stop’ gesture. Asher blinked at Lila and reluctantly sat down.

“You sure?” he asked, looking concerned now.

“Yeah. It’ll be like a girl-to-girl conversation. I think you might intimidate her too much. Then the rumour mill will have something else to talk about as well. In any case, now that exams are coming up, I bet you’ll be super busy trying to preserve your status as Dux. You’ve seriously got so much on your plate right now. Let me be useful for once. Besides, if my plan doesn’t work out, there’s no reason why you can’t try afterwards as the backup plan.”

Asher fell back onto the couch, his mind still clearly active, though he seemed more satisfied with Lila’s plan.

“Well, you’re right about one thing, at least. I have to concentrate on my schoolwork,” Asher lamented. “I don’t think I can concentrate on anything else at the moment… not even Mum. She… she told me that no matter what happens, the Earth could swallow us whole or we could get struck by a meteor, my studies have to come first. I don’t want to disappoint her.”

Lila glimpsed Asher wiping at his glistening eyes briefly.

“I don’t think you could ever disappoint her,” Lila whispered. Asher looked wildly at her.

“What do you mean?” he asked, staring at Lila as though she was a prophet.

“It’s… a feeling I get. After hearing you talk about her, and seeing the study,” Lila shrugged. “I can’t explain why, but that’s what I reckon anyway.”

Asher swallowed hard before nodding. “That’s… thanks.”

“Though,” Lila gave Asher a teasing grin, “I’m happy to not test that hypothesis right now. Shall we get back to it?”