Chapter Sixty-Seven

Upon coming home from the debate, armed with several muffins and packets of Smiths chips, Lila noticed a text message from Asher.

Thanks Lila. I feel a lot better, but I think I need to let it all out still. Dunno how, but thanks, it read.

You’re welcome, Lila replied. She sent a second message that read, I just told you the truth, though

I know, Asher replied instantaneously. I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight

Goodnight

Sure enough, Saturday morning practice seemed to be a very effective outlet for Asher to let off his residual steam. He jogged over upon spotting her in her hockey uniform and wielding her hockey stick on Jacoval.

“Hey,” he grinned, bouncing on his feet as he stood before her.

“Hey,” Lila returned his grin with her own. “I see you’re in high spirits.”

“It’s amazing what physical exercise can do,” Asher confirmed, still bouncing. “I’ve run a couple laps this morning already.”

“Did you get here early?”

“I always get here early,” Asher shrugged. “Got nothing else to do in the morning.”

Mr Kovac barked at Asher to get back to his side of the oval and he seemed reluctant to do so. Before he left, he asked whether he’d be going to Lila’s straight after practice.

“I’d assumed so,” Lila nodded. “But if you want to, you can go home first.”

“Nah,” Asher shook his head. “I need all the time I can get.”

“Alright,” Lila smiled.

“Wagner,” growled Mr Kovac, beginning to stomp towards Asher.

“See ya later!” Asher called as he sprinted back to his section of the oval, rushing past Mr Kovac like the lashing wind.

Today, practice was focused on fixing up form and mistakes made in the last match. Their second match would be next week - an away game over at Sandy Lakes. Having beaten Sandy Lakes last game, Lila was cautious to be too optimistic about their chances next week. Sandy Lakes was sure to want revenge, after all.

Lila was about to trudge off the oval at the end of her gruelling practice when a sweaty, pink Theo called out to her.

“Hey,” he said, a barely perceptible smile on his face. He caught up to her, panting slightly.

“Hi Theo,” Lila replied curiously.

“How was practice?”

“It was good,” Lila nodded. “Looks like you worked hard.”

“I work hard all the time,” Theo laughed. “Got any plans for the weekend?”

“Yeah, pretty busy since it’s exam week. You?”

Theo glanced at his hands before shoving them in his pockets. “Studying, mainly. But I was wonder-”

“Hey Lila, you ready to go?” Asher interrupted their conversation, his eyes narrowed. Lila hadn’t noticed his approach, which unsettled her slightly. Asher stood a metre or so back from Theo, his hands on his hips, his prior good mood suddenly vanishing into a serious expression.

“Yeah,” Lila replied, turning towards the carpark. “Clare’s already here. See you later, Theo.”

Theo gave her a half-hearted wave. “See you on Tuesday.”

“What was Theo talking to you about?” Asher asked stiffly once they had walked out of earshot of Theo. Lila shrugged.

“Seemed like small talk.”

“Small talk…”

Without another word, they bundled themselves into Clare’s car, greeting her as they did.

“Back again, Asher,” Clare grinned, adjusting the volume of her music. “Maybe you should date Daniel.”

Lila choked, and Asher began laughing heartily in the backseat. “Yeah, been thinking about it,” he replied through chuckles. Lila’s heart dropped for a second – was he serious?

Clare didn’t seem to think so as she cackled, pulling out of the carpark.

“Unfortunately though,” Asher added, “I am very straight.”

‘Yeah, dummy,’ Lila admonished herself, shaking her head. ‘Isaac told you that.’

Lila saw Clare give her a sideways glance before smirking and turning the music back up. It wasn't long before they arrived home, partially owing to Clare’s refusal to slow down around corners.

“Mum and Dad are just doing some shopping,” Clare announced as she put the car into park. “Bedroom door open, Lila.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Not like anything would happen anyway,” Lila grumbled, forcefully dislodging her hockey stick from where it got caught under her seat. She’d almost whacked Asher in the stomach with it, had he not dodged out of the way in time.

“Sorry,” Lila said sheepishly. He shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, his voice strangely tight. They took their shoes off outside as they were full of grass. Asher made a beeline for the stairs. Clare watched him go, shaking her head.

“Lila, you dummy,” she sighed. “I’ll pour you some juice.”

“What’d I do?” Lila asked, taken aback.

“Shot down your chance before it could even happen.”

“Chance for what?” Lila snapped as she followed Clare into the kitchen. Clare just shook her head again.

“I’m not gonna meddle. I’ve been on a no-meddling streak for ages now. I’m not about to break it for something you could easily figure out. Careful you don’t spill these.”

Lila swapped her hockey stick for three cups of juice and slowly ascended the stairs. She knocked on Daniel’s door with her knee and he opened it.

“You look like you’ve been dragged through a field,” he observed drily, accepting two cups of juice.

“Thanks,” Lila rolled her eyes. “Do you need me today?” She looked behind Daniel’s right shoulder and saw Asher already deep in concentration at his desk.

“Nah. Go have a shower, you stink,” Daniel ordered, scrunching his nose in disgust. Lila heard Asher snort and quickly turned on her heel.

“Okay, hygiene police. Damn,” Lila huffed, shutting Daniel’s door swiftly. A shower didn't sound half-bad, though...

Lila rummaged through her closet to find something to wear, settling on a baggy t-shirt and tracksuit pants. She made sure to bring these with her to the bathroom. There was no way she was going to walk from the shower to her room in just a towel or get changed in her room with the door open while Asher was here.

The bathroom was closest to Daniel’s room, so she kept as quiet as she could to not disturb Asher. The hot water soaked into her skin and she sighed in relief. It helped to reset her focus, and upon stepping outside the shower, she almost felt excited to get stuck into her study. She dressed in her t-shirt and tracksuit pants and left the steaming bathroom, humming lightly to herself. The cold air within the house lapped at her face and she thought she heard voices behind Daniel’s door. Asher was probably talking him through his calculations.

The rest of the day passed in generally uninterrupted study – though her Mum did come in to deliver a humble lunch of fried rice with spam for lunch. Eventually, Asher appeared in her doorway.

“Boo,” he said with a knock. It pulled her out of her concentration, and she spun around in her chair.

“Hello,” she smiled. “Are you done for the day?”

Asher sighed. “For the day, yeah. I can’t look at another number anymore. But I’m actually here to tell you it’s time for dinner.”

“Thanks,” Lila replied, stretching. She followed Asher out of the room and downstairs. Her Mum, Dad, Clare, and Daniel were already seated, dishing out some lasagna.

“Smells delicious,” Asher said as he took a seat. Lila’s Mum beamed at him.

“Thank you,” she replied. Dinner finished in a flash, with polite small talk about studies and the winter chill accompanying the lasagna. The siblings and Asher climbed up the stairs once it was over, though Asher pulled Clare and Lila aside before either could go into their rooms again.

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“Can you just wait here a second?” he asked in a low voice. Clare and Lila exchanged a bemused look whilst Asher disappeared into the depths of Daniel’s room. He returned quickly, brandishing an envelope.

“Gabriel said it was fine,” he whispered, pressing the envelope into Clare’s hand. “He’s already paid for it. This is for your records, ‘cause of the demerit points.”

“Oh my God, thank you!” Clare exclaimed, punching Asher on the arm in excitement.

“Ow,” he winced, though his face was alight in a playful grin. “Don’t thank me, though. Gabriel paid it.”

“You asked for me, though,” Clare said, tapping his head with the envelope. “You’re not half-bad, kid.” Clare then turned to Lila and winked. “You can make more friends like Asher.”

“That’s a weird way to say you accept him,” Lila laughed. “Besides, he’s one-of-a-kind. Don’t think there’s other friends out there who are your bosses’ kinda-family. Asher doesn’t even have siblings.”

“How lonely,” Clare sighed, though there was an air of dreaminess about this statement that made Lila narrow her eyes. “Anyway, thanks again, Asher. I’ve gotta get ready for work.”

“You work?” Daniel’s voice carried over to the trio, his head poking out of his doorway. Clare closed her eyes, as if trying to pull herself together.

“Sure do,” she said tersely, giving Daniel a stern look. “Don’t tell Mum and Dad. They don’t need to know that I’m working.”

Daniel met Lila’s eyes before smirking. “My lips are sealed.”

“Thanks,” Clare grinned at Daniel before closing herself in her room.

Lila glanced at Asher. “When’re you leaving?” she asked quietly.

“About twenty minutes or so. Marlene’s about to come get me,” Asher replied, checking his phone. “I’ll be back tomorrow, though. Well, if you’ll have me.”

“’Course,” Lila smiled. “Have you gotten far with it?”

“Could you guys, like, move along somewhere?” Daniel interrupted them with a sense of urgency in his tone. “Mum and Dad might come upstairs.”

“Right, sorry,” Lila said, backing into her room. Asher pressed his lips together for a split second before looking at Daniel.

“I-” Asher began before Daniel shook his head.

“Twenty minutes won’t get me much, I know that already,” Daniel said plainly. “It’s fine. Just don’t shout about it.”

Daniel snapped the door to his room shut.

“I… guess we can talk in my room,” Lila said after a moment. They both entered her room and Lila sat on the edge of her bed. Asher sank into Lila’s desk chair, the backrest on his chest.

“Back to the question,” Asher said, frowning at the floor. “I haven’t finished going through his maths and it’s all checked out so far… but…”

“But?”

“There’s something off about it. I just can’t put my finger on it. I’ll need to finish going through the numbers then rip it apart and start from the ground up.”

“Will that take long?”

Asher looked at her briefly before grinning widely, his eyes sparkling with confidence. “Not with me doing it. I’m still on track to getting this done by Wednesday.”

“Even with your exams?”

Asher stretched his arms high above his head. “’Course.”

“Don’t sacrifice your grades for this,” Lila chastised. He stared at her for a moment before smiling, resting his chin on his right hand.

“Concerned for me?” he asked playfully.

“Well, if you’re going to spend your whole weekend here instead of studying, I guess I am,” Lila replied, crossing her arms.

“You don’t need to worry,” Asher shook his head. “I study throughout the term. Plus, I’ve already done a couple practice exams for each of my subjects and prepared my flashcards.”

“You’re really diligent, aren’t you,” Lila said softly.

“Have to be,” Asher shrugged.

“What time are you coming over? Tomorrow, I mean.”

“I was thinking ten. Is that too early?”

“Might be early for Daniel, but I’ll be awake.”

“I’ll bring some study materials then, since you’re fretting so much,” Asher gave her a cheeky grin and she tossed a cushion at him, which he dodged. It landed neatly on her desk and they both chuckled.

“How are you feeling, by the way?” Lila asked seriously, leaning backwards on her bed, propped up by her hands. “After yesterday.”

Asher sighed, shuffling his feet along the floor briefly. “A lot better, but… I’m still annoyed at myself.”

“As long as you’re feeling better,” Lila said simply. “I would’ve been more surprised if you said you weren’t annoyed at yourself anymore.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Asher chuckled. Then, he looked at Lila intently. “It… I’m mainly frustrated at myself that I’m still not over the Holly situation. I’ve lost debates before, and while I’d hoped to knock it out of the park with you watching, it’s fine.”

“I think you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to get over the Holly situation,” Lila said sharply, sitting up properly. “Just let it happen. You’re allowed to grieve a relationship, you know. Sure, she was shitty in the end, and a cheater, but you still seemed… in l-love.”

Lila looked away from Asher, tears suddenly welling in her eyes and a severe stinging sensation in her chest. She closed her eyes to stem the tears, but the pain within her chest only grew. Was Asher still in love with Holly, even after everything? Or was he just trying to come to terms with what she’d done to him?

“I… wish I didn’t have to,” Asher whispered. “I still sometimes think it’s a bad dream, or that we broke up because we were better off as friends or something. I’ve never been so humiliated in my life. Sometimes, the pain feels worse than losing Mum, and if I catch myself thinking that, I hate myself even more.”

Lila suddenly stood in front of Asher before her mind could catch up with what she was doing. She placed her hands on his shoulders, and his eyes jumped to hers.

“Don’t beat yourself up about that,” Lila said firmly. “Both of those things that you’re going through, with all the painful feelings that go with it, can each have their own space. They both deserve to be worked through and felt, alright? They’re big things, and if one feels worse than the other, it doesn’t mean either are less important to you. Talking it through can help, though.”

His face turned a bright red colour, but he didn’t look away from her eyes. Lila felt that perhaps he was seeking permission from them – that if he felt she was earnest enough, he didn’t need to feel as guilty anymore. He seemed to be leaning closer to Lila’s face – was that to get a better gauge? Lila’s breathing felt strangely heavy-

“Oi, you better not be kissing,” Clare’s voice made Lila leap away from Asher, her face a brilliant shade of scarlet. Her hands flew up to her face to hide it, and she turned towards the doorway.

“W-We wouldn’t do anything like that,” Lila finally managed to say, looking at Clare from behind her hands.

“Sure,” Clare replied shortly. She was dressed in a plain black t-shirt and jeans, a bulging tote bag on her shoulder. The only hint that Clare was about to go out was her makeup, which was reminiscent of an ice queen by the silver and blue glittery eyeshadow. Was it another themed night? “Anyway, I’m off. See you tomorrow, Asher.”

“Bye,” Asher replied, a hint of an emotion Lila couldn’t quite identify within his farewell. Was he disappointed Clare was leaving?

“Mum and Dad will be up soon,” Clare added, giving Lila a serious look. “You guys better leave space for Jesus.”

“Like I said,” Lila dropped her hands, her voice hot with anger. “We-”

“You should probably stop saying things,” Clare smirked. “Remember what I said downstairs when we got home?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

Clare rolled her eyes. “You’re denser than a brick wall. Anyway, can’t be late. Bye!”

Clare rushed out of the doorway, and Lila heard her scurrying down the stairs, keys jangling.

“Sorry about that,” Lila mumbled, flopping back onto her bed in a seated position. “She’s so embarrassing.”

“You don’t think anything would happen?” Asher asked quietly. Lila’s breath caught in her throat. She didn’t want to look at Asher, so fell backwards onto her bed, staring instead at the cornices on her ceiling. Truthfully, there was nothing more that Lila wanted than for something to happen. But, with how Asher was still struggling with Holly, it was unlikely that anything could happen. Lila needed to be realistic to avoid disappointment, at least. ‘Besides, he’d need to like me enough to want to do something,’ Lila thought to herself. ‘As if he would.’

“I-” Lila began to say, her voice shaky.

“Never mind,” Asher cut her off quickly. “Forget I asked.”

Lila pressed her lips together, tears prickling her eyes again. A yearning ache filled the spot where the sharp stinging had once been, her breathing weighing down her chest. She placed an arm over her eyes, pressing into them to stop her tears from forming, which worked. The silence between them stretched on for a minute or so, but Lila couldn’t think of anything to say or do to break it.

“… I’m bringing lunch tomorrow, and a dessert for after dinner,” Asher eventually said.

“Really?” Lila asked, still not removing her arm from her eyes. “Like what?”

“You’ll find out. Don’t worry, though, I’m not making it just by myself.”

Lila rose from the bed, looking excitedly at Asher. “You’re cooking?”

“Yeah,” Asher replied bashfully, his face pink whilst he scratched at his chin. “I wanted to give it a go.”

“Can’t wait,” Lila beamed at him, her worries disappearing in the face of food prepared by Asher. What would it taste like? Lila threw out various guesses, like pasta, or sandwiches, or stir fry, but Asher shot them all down.

“You’ll never guess,” he said with a nod. “You’ll just have to wait until tomorrow.”

“No fair,” Lila pouted. He smirked at her.

“It’s a surprise. Just make sure to tell your parents, in case they were planning on making lunch.”

“I mean, you can tell them yourself,” Lila suggested. “You’re going to pass them on the way out.”

Asher’s face faded entirely from its pink colour to a pale one. “I-I’m good.”

“My parents aren’t that scary. Plus, you’re the one bringing it over,” Lila insisted.

“Well, I’m suddenly terrified of the eventuality that they’ll hate it.”

“What, are ya trying to impress them?”

“I think it’d be more accurate to say that I’m trying to not unimpress them.”

Asher’s suddenly hand darted to his pocket, and he pulled out his phone. Sighing, he stood up from Lila’s chair. “Marlene’s here.”

Lila stood as well and led Asher outside her room. She knocked on Daniel’s door and he popped his head out again.

“See you tomorrow, Asher!” he said happily. “Don’t forget what I told you.”

“What’d you tell him?” Lila queried.

“Nothing,” Asher interjected, steering Lila away from Daniel by her shoulders. “See you tomorrow, Daniel.”

Lila heard Daniel snicker before shutting his door. Clearly, it wasn’t ‘nothing’. She made a mental note to bully the information from Daniel later. Asher let go of Lila’s shoulders and they both descended the staircase.

“Going already?” Lila’s Dad asked from the living room once they made it to the first floor. Asher’s body stiffened as Lila’s parents approached.

“Y-Yeah,” Asher stammered, looking at Lila with desperate eyes. “I-”

“He’ll be back tomorrow,” Lila interjected. “Said he’ll bring some lunch and dessert for dinner.”

Lila heard Asher breathe a heavy sigh of relief. Lila’s parents exchanged a look before beaming at Asher.

“Sounds great,” Lila’s Dad said, clapping Asher on the shoulder. “You didn’t have to.”

“I-I wanted to, since you’ve been feeding me,” Asher replied, shaking his head.

“I’m excited to see what it is,” Lila’s Mum smiled, before gesturing to Asher’s soccer boots by the entryway. It seemed that Lila’s Mum had cleaned both Lila’s and Asher’s sets of sports shoes. Asher’s eyes grew wide and he graciously thanked Lila’s Mum, stumbling over his words.

“Y-You didn’t have to clean these for me,” he managed to say, slipping them on. “T-Thank you, they’re perfect.”

Lila’s Mum smiled at him again. “It’d be a shame for me to send you home with so much mud and grass on your shoes. Besides, your family have been taking care of this one for a while,” Lila’s Mum ruffled Lila’s hair and pinched her cheek as she said this. “Say hello to Tabitha, for me.”

Asher fell over the pile of shoes in the entryway. Lila immediately rushed to him, offering a hand which he didn’t seem to notice. His face was a ghostly white, and he tentatively stood, trembling.

“I-I will,” he said hoarsely, looking towards the front door rather than Lila’s parents. They seemed satisfied with this and retreated to the living room. Asher distractedly put his shoes back on, attempting to put his right foot in his left shoe twice. Once he was finally ready, Lila swiftly unlocked the door and stepped outside with him. He was still obviously quivering. Lila could hear Marlene’s car idling in the driveway, but there was otherwise no noise whatsoever outside. Her mind filled with many thoughts (mainly featuring concern about Asher, and her Mum’s reference to Tabitha) which complemented the silence as she shut the door behind them and turned to Asher.

“You okay?” she asked, catching his eyes within her own.

“Y-Yup, peachy,” he said distractedly, glancing at Marlene’s car. “Once… the holidays start. Let’s go.”

Lila gritted her teeth. She knew exactly what that meant. It was time to break into the cottage.

“Let’s. See you tomorrow, Asher.”

He nodded, clenching his jaw briefly. “See you tomorrow.”