Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Seven

Daniel was spinning listlessly in the office chair usually used by Lila’s Mum as Lila’s Dad opened the door to the study.

“Finally,” Daniel grumbled, ceasing his spinning. “Took you guys long enough. Did you lose Dad in the garden or something?”

Lila tried to keep her face neutral as she stood where she had when Daniel told their parents about the Banker. She was not about to tell Daniel that her Dad had assumed she was pregnant. Asher silently closed the door behind them before standing next to Lila. She still didn’t really want to look at him, but she chanced a peek anyway. He looked nervous, with the way his lips were pressed together, but the cause seemed to change when their eyes met and his cheeks turned a light pink.

“I’m old, you know. It takes me a while to get a move on,” her Dad remarked after glancing at Lila. She tore her eyes away from Asher and gave her Dad a slight smile in response. He sank into his office chair with a sigh.

“You mentioned me needing to turn on my computer?” her Dad questioned. Lila nodded.

“Yeah… uh. Plug this in. Um. But don’t look through it just yet,” she said awkwardly, handing over the USB. Her Dad took it from her, his eyebrows raised with curiosity.

“Alright,” he nodded, doing as she said. Once he was done, he spun in his chair to face Lila and Asher.

“You’re being awfully mysterious,” her Dad observed. Lila looked between her Dad and Daniel before giving a weary sigh.

“I guess… we should start at the beginning,” Lila said gently, exchanging a look with Asher. “When Asher was helping Daniel with the Banker stuff, he noticed some odd transactions.”

“Odd how?” Her Dad’s tone shifted to something much more businesslike – investigative, even.

Daniel folded his arms across his chest. “You mean that 2.5k that regularly went missing, yeah?”

Her Dad looked at him sharply, alarm sparking behind his hazel eyes, but he didn’t otherwise interject. Lila nodded.

“Yeah. So… we, uh, decided to follow the money, in a way. That amount of money being regularly cycled in and out had to be purposeful, and we knew it wasn’t Daniel doing it. We figured that a good place to start would be the Grade 12s that helped… administer the Banker, I guess you could say.” Lila could only stare at her feet as she explained the background of their investigation. She’d have to bring up Theo, since her date with him also served as a fact-finding mission to figure out what Livi, or whoever, was doing with the Banker’s funds.

“So… I found myself on a date with one of them,” Lila continued, her voice rather small now. She definitely didn’t want to look at anyone as she said this – particularly her boyfriend.

“So that’s why you went on a date with Theo?” Daniel asked, sounding floored by this revelation. “Here I thought you were being a dick to Asher.”

Lila shot him a withering look. “Of course I wasn’t being a dick to Asher. Theo asked… and I said yes… then used the opportunity to gather some intel.”

“You could’ve gathered info in less dick-ish ways-”

Lila’s Dad cleared his throat, cutting Daniel’s counter-argument short. “You’re saying you gathered intel? What kind?”

Lila took a deep breath – one that reached all the way to her toes and fingertips. There was no going back, now.

“I found out… that the Grade 12s had a side gig,” she said carefully. Her eyes flickered to her Dad, who nodded encouragingly. Lila sighed again.

“The side gig was supplying drugs. Morphine, specifically, to students. They were using the Banker’s money to fund it at the outset, then evidently made enough in sales to put it right back.”

“They what?” Daniel’s voice was breathy with shock, his eyes wide open. If he was in a chair that he could fall out of, Lila was confident that he would’ve. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, though, he stood up, his face furious.

“Must’ve been one hell of a date to get that information out of a member of a morphine ring,” her Dad said, reaching an arm out to Daniel’s. He met his mark, his grip seeming firm yet gentle – reassuring, almost – from where Lila was standing.

“Christ, Dad,” Lila replied, all the embarrassment that she’d managed to fend off returning in an instant.

“Well, he did try to kiss her and she shoulder-barged him instead,” Asher said lightly.

“Disgusting,” Daniel scowled derisively, slowly sitting once more. The quick change in topic seemed to calm him down enough, which was clearly her Dad’s intended effect.

“What, that he tried, or that your sister rejected him?” Her Dad chuckled.

“Dad, do you know how hard it was to see that guy’s sad face every time he helped with the books once he found out Theo was making moves?” Daniel pointed at Asher, which caused everyone to look at him. He shifted uncomfortably, his face now a vibrant crimson, and his eyes were fixed on the floor. Lila suppressed the smile fighting to break out and instead looked back at her Dad, who didn’t have the same reservation in keeping his amusement hidden.

“Shall we move on before you both expire and don’t tell us anything more?” Her Dad asked, his expression swiftly returning to one of seriousness. Lila glanced at Daniel and, upon seeing that the fire in his eyes had mellowed out, nodded.

“So… we didn’t really have evidence of what was going on, and we got distracted by other things-”

“Ew, for a different reason,” Daniel wrinkled his nose with distaste.

“-like the murder of Asher’s stalker,” Lila finished, glaring at Daniel.

“Oh.”

‘And the break and enter of Marlene’s place… exploring the creepy-ass farmhouse… and that we liked each other,’ Lila added internally.

“Basically, we kinda put it away for a little bit,” Lila said with a sigh. Now, she was coming up to the point where she needed Asher to jump in.

It seemed that he caught on to this as he handed the folder to Lila’s Dad.

“I, uh, found out that you were investigating missing drugs from Dad’s Hospital,” Asher said vaguely. “And, well, we, uh, I found this in my Dad’s study and it seemed odd to me…” he trailed off as Lila’s Dad opened the folder.

“Did you hack at this with a knife?” Her Dad asked, lightly touching where Mr Snugglebutt had clawed at the papers.

“Definitely not,” Asher replied, his face reddening once more. “It drew my attention because a cat was tearing it up.”

“A cat?” Lila’s Dad looked at Asher incredulously. “You make it sound like it’s not your cat.”

“Uh, I think it belongs to one of the workers at Asher’s place,” Lila interjected. “A tortoise-shell one.”

“I… see,” her Dad murmured, looking back down at the folder. “So, you found this, and then what?”

“We figured out that Jason’s Mum is the Vice CEO of the Hospital. Um, Jason is the Head Boy for this year and one of the Grade 12s who was hanging around the Banker,” Lila said, her tone rather subdued.

Her Dad looked incredibly alert now, though he waited patiently for Lila to continue.

“Because morphine’s been going missing from the hospital Jason’s Mum is the Vice at, and morphine’s been going around our school, according to Theo-”

“The person you were on a date with,” her Dad commented with a nod. Lila also nodded.

“Yeah. Uh, he’s the Dux of Year 12. Does soccer with Asher.”

“Last name?”

“Liang,” Lila replied without skipping a beat. From the corner of her eye, she noticed Asher straighten up, the shock on his face evident from where she stood.

“Liang,” her Dad repeated, folding his arms across his chest contemplatively.

“He’s not really involved,” Asher said quickly, surprising Lila. She stared at him momentarily as he continued, “At least, not in organising any drops, or taking money or anything like that, from what we know.”

“I think he might be a customer, though. They asked him to join, but he said he had piano recitals and study to focus on,” Lila added.

Daniel snorted. “Nerd.”

No one disputed this. There was a heavy pause.

“As you were saying,” her Dad encouraged with a nod. Lila had almost forgotten where she was up to in their explanation.

“Right… well, we thought we should keep tabs on those Grade 12s, essentially,” Lila murmured lamely. “So, we posed as customers for Daniel’s business a couple times, to see if they did anything different. From what we knew, they just hung out at the lab where the Banker stuff was being administered, so if they were doing anything shady, it must’ve been from there.”

“And for a while, we didn’t see anything,” Asher said, placing his hands in his pockets. “We persisted, though, and finally saw Jason take a phone call. Then… he came back and told Zack and Jake that they were up, and they clipped on these bumbags and left. We didn’t follow them that day but we kept tabs on them until one day Zack and Jake left again.”

“Then… we saw them hand off some morphine to some students,” Lila sighed. They were starting to get closer and closer to the fact that they blackmailed Zack into giving them information. “But it was too fast for us to get any pictures or proof, besides us seeing it with our own eyes.”

“Then,” Asher smirked as though recalling a sweet memory, “the Banker got sanctioned. Jason looked like he was gonna pass out right there on stage at Assembly. It was almost like I could see the money leaving his grasp in an instant.”

Daniel’s expression twisted into one of anger yet again. “That’s why he looked like he was constipated? Because he wasn’t able to take advantage of my business anymore?”

“From what I could tell, yeah,” Lila replied. “They scattered real quick after the announcement. Which… made our job a bit harder, but we found them again. Kinda surprised that they kept going with it all, but I think it’d either gotten too big to stop, or they needed to ramp it up to make up for losing the ‘backing’ of the Banker-”

“I didn’t back fuck all-”

“Daniel,” their Dad cut in, looking at him sharply. “No one’s accusing you of that.”

Daniel slumped back into his chair, folding his arms across his chest with another scowl. Lila was slightly taken aback that their Dad didn’t address the swearing, but perhaps he figured he needed to choose his battles to avoid Daniel from blowing up or shutting down entirely. At least, he seemed really intentional with how he was interacting with Daniel, since the beginning of their conversation. She felt almost as though she needed to take notes for her conversation with Grace next week. Navigating strong emotions like this, in such a way that the other person still listened, seemed like an art form.

“Uh, so… yeah. Well, we followed Jason, Zack, and Jake again, since we knew for sure that they were actively participating in drops, at least. And… we finally were able to get something tangible,” Lila’s voice began to shake. She really didn’t want to get into this part, but it was the only part that her Dad needed – the rest… was all background fluff that he couldn’t verify or rely on for his investigation.

“Essentially, we got a video of Zack and Jake passing morphine to some students,” Asher cut in, straightening up his posture. “After that, I decided to talk to Zack. He plays soccer with me, too. Known him for a couple of years. He’s… also a bit of a… well, I don’t know how else to put it besides ‘himbo’.”

Daniel snorted. Lila’s Dad looked incredibly confused.

“A… what?”

Asher paused, evidently considering his response. “… Naïve with more brawn than brains, I guess you could say. He’s… well, he’s not malicious. I wasn’t quite convinced that he knew what he was doing was actually bad, either. When I pointed it out, he, uh, seemed to feel really guilty. So it wasn’t that difficult to get some information from him.”

Lila placed a hand on her chest, right where the necklace Asher had given her was sitting. Asher had seemed nervous about taking the blame for that part just yesterday when they talked about their plans for this discussion. But, now, she couldn’t even tell that he was lying out of his ass about talking with Zack, which resulted in Zack giving him information out of guilt. She kept her grateful smile to herself, making a mental note to thank Asher for it later.

“That’s basically it,” Asher concluded. “The information we got from Zack is on that USB, plus the video we took.”

The silence in the study was beginning to get on Lila’s nerves the longer it stretched on. Her Dad looked pensive, but she couldn’t tell from his expression whether it was good or bad.

Then –

“I won’t ask any questions about the true circumstances of how you obtained this information,” her Dad said quietly, turning to the computer which had long fallen asleep. Lila’s stomach dropped. He knew they were lying. But… at the same time… he didn’t seem mad about it. And he wasn’t going to make them tell him the truth. It was probably the best outcome she could hope for in the circumstances. “I’ll need to verify what you’re giving me independently anyway,” he added, clicking open the folder containing the contents of the USB.

Lila’s shoulders relaxed. Finally, they were done with this investigation and turned over their evidence to her Dad. He could take it from here, and even use it for his own investigation. They were free of this burden.

She saw Asher shuffle closer to her and she placed her hand in his. It seemed as though he’d been sweating from anxiety, but she didn’t mind. Her hands were probably just as sweaty.

Daniel wheeled himself over to their Dad’s computer, peering over his shoulder. They remained quiet, though Lila could see when the images changed from where she was standing. She felt Asher squeeze her hand and she looked up. He was smiling anxiously at her and she returned it with one of her own.

Eventually, her Dad and Daniel swivelled in their chairs to Lila and Asher. Her Dad had a glint in his eye – one that she’d seen before when someone said something that sparked his investigative mind.

“Thank you,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Since you seem to know some of what I’ve been investigating, I suppose I can say that I’d been in a bit of a slump. Connecting the missing drugs to some activities outside the Hospital was quite the revelation. When things like that go missing from hospitals, in most circumstances, it’s implied that either the perpetrator took it for themselves or to sell it on. But, if they’re sneaky, it’s nigh impossible to discover where it goes once it’s left the hospital – and therefore difficult to trace it back.”

He paused before eyeing them carefully. “I will have you know, I don’t condone undertaking investigations like this for either of you. This time, it worked well, and it was very helpful to both myself and Ivaan, and Daniel too. But you’re absolute rookies. That kind of inexperience is dangerous.” He sighed heavily, shaking his head. “Like father, like daughter, it seems.”

“I’m sorry,” Lila murmured. “It… I couldn’t leave it alone. But there also wasn’t enough to really give you. One of my biggest concerns… was about Daniel. If they thought he was poking around or knew too much, or even if they wanted to, they could just throw him under the bus and have him take the fall for it all, since he’s got a paper trail of all these transactions. And… the longer it went on, the more students would be affected by it all. I didn’t realise that it reached ten schools – at least, ten that Zack knows about – and… Asher said morphine’s really dangerous and addictive.”

“It is,” her Dad nodded. “I appreciate what you’re saying about Daniel’s on-paper involvement, too.”

He glanced at Daniel before sighing heavily once more. “Daniel, sorry kiddo, but you’ll need to be careful this week.”

“What? Why?” The colour from Daniel’s face drained in time to his questions.

“As Lila said, the quicker we move on this, the better. I’ll have to shuffle my schedule around to focus on this investigation over the week. If I manage it, it might get wrapped up to the Police and your school by the end of this week – but it will mean that the more perceptive group members will realise something’s up. They might come after you, in some way or another.”

“There’s no way to just… not have that happen?” Lila asked, panic rising in her voice.

“I’m going to try,” her Dad replied, his tone even. She could see, though, that panic was starting to form behind his eyes, too. “But it’s inevitable that things will happen before a suspension or anything like that, which may catch their notice. If they try to submit evidence that Daniel orchestrated the ring, I can prevent that from actually affecting his schooling. But there’s no guarantee regarding what other options they might come to in desperation.”

Lila closed her eyes, trying to prevent herself from shuddering. She’d, of course, considered physical violence as one of the options, but there were probably others that they could employ – like trying to kick Daniel off the touch footy team.

“We’ve got camp this week,” Lila said softly, her eyes still closed. “We… can’t protect you, Daniel.”

“It’s fine,” Daniel replied with a slight tremble. “I’m stuck actually administering the Uber Eats stuff, remember? The only time they could try and do something to me is during morning tea and lunch, and I’m stuck in a room with a teacher for both of those – not to mention all the hungry witnesses who’d be around.”

“You’ll need to come straight home after school,” Lila responded, opening her eyes and taking in his terrified expression.

“I’ve got touch footy on Thursdays-”

“That’s fine,” her Dad interjected. “I’ll pick you straight up after touch footy.”

“Could I just pretend I’m sick?” Daniel asked half-heartedly. “Stay home from school the whole week?”

“What week of the term is it?” Lila’s Dad questioned, looking directly at Asher.

“It’ll be five,” he answered promptly. Lila’s Dad placed a hand on his chin thoughtfully.

“You won’t need to for the first couple of days,” her Dad said slowly. “If you really feel like you need it from Wednesday onwards, let me know. I’ll have to convince your mother somehow since she’d want to attend to you if you say you’re sick – but I can swing something, I’m sure.”

Daniel let out a long, slow breath. He rubbed his eyes before abruptly standing up.

“Is there anything else?” he asked, his fists clenched by his sides.

“Not from us,” Lila replied, interlocking her fingers with Asher’s.

“Alright. I’m going to my room.”

Daniel left without another word, the door to the study closing forcefully behind him. Lila wasn’t quite sure what she should do now. Could she and Asher also go?

“Daniel’s… in a precarious situation,” her Dad said softly, causing Lila to look at him.

“Yeah,” Lila sighed. “I… wanted to tell him earlier, but at the same time… it’s really scary, this whole thing. Especially when we first found out, the Banker situation was still underground – so he was interacting with at least Livi and her bodyguards every day, getting notebooks and whatever for accounting. There would’ve been no way that he could’ve acted normal with them if he knew something was up in that scenario.”

“Your reasoning is sound, Lila. I’m not criticising your thinking – for any of it. I understand that you were trying your best to protect him in a situation you’ve never navigated before. But… I think you need to talk to him about it a bit more. He might think that you didn’t trust him despite it directly affecting him and his business and even his relationships with these Grade 12s. I’m sure that he trusted them at some point, at least once – whether that changed after the sanction, or just now in this study – and he may not be sure if he can trust you, either.”

Lila swallowed hard. “Okay.”

There was silence once more, with her Dad leafing through the folder of information, before a question came to Lila.

“Dad, are you mad?”

He looked up, readjusting his glasses. “About?”

She gestured vaguely to the folder in his hands and the USB. “About… what Asher and I did.”

He pursed his lips, placing the folder on his desk before looking at her with undivided attention. “Furious.”

Lila let go of Asher’s hand, instead preferring to hold her arms in comfort.

“But… I am also proud. Grateful, too. And it’s better than you being pregnant.”

Lila’s face flushed. She decided to not address the last comment. “Really?”

Her Dad bowed his head. “Really. Next time, if something like this happens, come to me in the first instance. Things like this are not to be meddled with. You’ve put yourselves in unnecessary danger, too. It’s convenient that you have camp next week – though I’m sure you planned this conversation with that in mind. But, again, don’t do things like this on your own. I am in half a mind to actively punish you, but because it was ultimately helpful – I won’t, on this occasion. The same goes for you, too, Asher. I won’t let Ivaan know about this, but I’m addressing you as well. If I catch wind of you putting my daughter in danger again, I’m not above banning you from the house. Come to me first. Understood?”

Lila inhaled deeply. She was still investigating Marlene with Asher, though that had been put on hold. Ultimately, they were also both still investigating his Mum’s disappearance. Then… there was also the fact that Grace was in a relationship with a teacher. It wasn’t an investigation, as such, since they had seen it with their own eyes – but it probably fell under the definition of ‘something like this’. Even though her Dad warned her against continuing on their own… she wasn’t ready to tell him about any of that.

“Yes, sir,” Asher’s confident reply caught Lila off guard. A bold-faced lie, but one that seemed to satisfy her Dad as his eyes rested expectantly on Lila.

“Y-Yes, Dad,” she said, looking into his eyes. It was painful, this eye contact – almost as though the lie itself was stabbing into her eyes like shards of glass.

“Good,” her Dad nodded. There was more silence before his serious expression changed into one that looked much softer – kinder, almost.

“I assume that Asher knows about what happened with Clare and your mother?” her Dad queried in an almost whisper.

“Yeah,” Lila uttered. “We went to his after.”

“I see.”

Another pause.

“I told your mother about the photo,” her Dad said plainly. “She’d come to me with it during the week, very distressed. I explained what happened, with that girl who bullied you and told your mother that she got expelled… and then murdered. I think when I said that part, she realised why the Police called you both in for an interview. Either way, you don’t need to worry about that, if you were. She did say that it looked like Asher in the photo, so I confirmed that too.” He hesitated before an amused smirk appeared on his face. “It may have led to some of my assumptions earlier today.”

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Lila groaned, bracing herself for part two of his discussion about her sex life – or rather lack thereof.

“Your mother… is still processing,” her Dad continued, his smirk disappearing just as quickly as it had arrived. “Once you come back from camp, I think you and Clare need to talk to her.”

“Dad… you don’t understand,” Lila couldn’t help the emotion wavering in her voice as she spoke. “Mum was… scary.”

“I know I wasn’t there to see it,” her Dad said carefully. “But I also know what kind of reaction she would have had.”

“I doubt what you’re thinking of is as intense as it actually was.”

“I would disagree,” her Dad’s voice was firm, his gaze incredibly grave. “I know my wife.”

It wasn’t as though Lila was going to disagree with that, so she settled on a noncommittal shrug.

“That’s all from me for now,” her Dad said with another nod. “I can’t speak on behalf of your mother, so you’ll just need to wait to talk to her after you come back from camp.”

“Not tomorrow?”

“It’s too soon,” her Dad shook his head. “Far too soon. To be clear, I’ll be encouraging your mother this week to talk to you and Clare – she hasn’t said that she wants to speak with you. I know I’ll manage it, but she’ll be stubborn for a while on the topic.”

“Okay. Thanks, Dad.”

“You’re welcome, kiddo. Now, based on this, I have a few things I need to do and plan, so I’d appreciate it if you close the door on the way out.”

“Alright.”

“It also goes without saying that I won’t be telling your mother about what you’ve been doing,” her Dad added meaningfully. Lila pressed her lips together. She hadn’t thought about the possibility of her Dad telling her Mum that she’d been poking her nose around a drug ring.

“Thanks, Dad.”

Asher and Lila departed without another word, remaining quiet all the way up the stairs. Daniel’s door was closed, and she considered talking to him about what her Dad had mentioned – explain their reasoning for not letting him know sooner, at least – but let it go for the moment. He had a lot to process as it was.

As soon as they entered her room, Asher sunk into Lila’s desk chair and placed his head down on her desk.

“Any way I could sleep for a billion years?” he murmured as Lila sat on the edge of her bed.

“No, sir,” Lila replied lightly. “I’ve got some experiences with you that are on my list to check off.”

He turned his head so he could see her face. “Like what?”

She felt her face flush again as she thought about what was first on her list. So, she went with her second. “Like going on that date to the bookstore you promised me.”

His eyes sparkled as he sat up. “Well, considering that didn’t go as badly as I’d thought, what about going tomorrow?”

Lila almost said ‘yes’ immediately, before her eyes fell upon the sad, neglected hiking bag in the corner of her room.

“I… need to pack,” she said reluctantly.

“That won’t take all day,” Asher replied.

“I might need to get some supplies.”

“We can go to the shops in the city. Or you could just come over to mine and see what I’ve packed, then we can go to the shopping centre.”

Lila looked into his earnest, hopeful eyes. Her heart gave a strange thump, and she remembered the first item on her list – and the insane thought she’d had in Daniel’s room.

“I think I need a break. Just for a day,” she murmured, staring at her hands as they fidgeted in her lap.

“A… break?”

She simply nodded.

“From… us?”

“Not exactly. Um. I don’t know how to put this, but… I think I’m losing my mind.”

“Is that all?” He sounded relieved and she glanced at him. He ran his fingers through his hair before resting his head in his right hand and smiling warmly at her. “I can help you find it again.”

She sighed. “You’d help me lose it faster.”

He laughed. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“Asher, we’ve seen each other every day for weeks.”

“You make that sound like a bad thing.”

“It’s not, and I want to see you every day. But…” she paused, suddenly unsure how to articulate what she was feeling. The increasing heat from her face wasn’t helping her find the answer.

“But?”

She shifted her position, her hands fidgeting even more. “But… you said you’re not ready.”

He blinked at her, the confusion apparent in his creased eyebrows. “For?”

She hadn’t thought that it was possible to feel this flustered. “Um. Well… when Daniel left us in his room, I had this thought… about closing the door and… doing things.”

His eyes flew wide open. “What, just before?”

“Yeah. Um, I think… if we spend more time together, it’s going to get harder for me to not jump you. And not in a mugging kind of way.”

“O-Oh.”

His face turned a deep shade of red as he averted his gaze from her.

“I’m… not sure what to say,” he whispered after a few moments of silence.

In response, she grabbed a cushion and fell back onto her bed, placing it over her face. Her heart was pounding, and she was sure that she’d burn an imprint of her face on the cushion. She wanted him to say that it was fine, that they could… go for it. But she had a feeling that he’d say he still wasn’t ready.

“I… guess I’ll just say that… I am hearing what you’re saying,” he said softly. “A-And… uh, I think it’s a good idea. T-To take a break. In that case.”

She managed to keep her groan of disappointment in as she hugged the cushion tighter to her face. Maybe it’d be better if she suffocated.

If the cushion wasn’t going to achieve that, the lingering atmosphere in this room probably would. Neither moved nor said anything for what felt like too long. Then, she heard Asher get up from her chair. Was he going to say that Marlene was here, and he’d be going home now?

She felt him tug at her cushion and she clutched it tighter. She heard him give a small, breathy exhale before he tried again. This time, she let him take it from her though she brought her hands up to cover her face instead. His grip around her wrists was gentle as he pulled them away, too. She turned her eyes to the ceiling but he soon hovered above her line of sight, his eyes swimming with an emotion she couldn’t place. Concern was definitely there, but she couldn’t tell if it mixed in with guilt or… something else.

“Lila, it probably sounds like a load of bullshit, but… even though I’m not ready, I really do want to.”

She groaned, trying to turn so she could face the wall but his hold on her wrists prevented her. She really didn’t want to hear that. Could he not see that it made it worse? Knowing that he really wanted to… made the idea of just getting lost in the moment so much more tempting.

“It sounds really selfish of me, to keep… being like this,” he continued, his voice softer than before. “I… don’t want to rush it. Since… it’s a big step.”

“It is,” Lila murmured, her voice barely audible. “But it’s one I want to take with you.”

“I know.”

“I… want to do everything with you. And I know what you said, about growing our relationship first, but… there’s just something inside me that just wants to be shared with you… and I don’t know how to tell it to wait.”

She wasn’t even sure whether that made sense, or where it came from, so she turned her head away from his in case he’d call her out on that. He didn’t, so she continued.

“I’ve… never felt this way before, and I’m stuck. A-And it feels like I’m just throwing a tantrum, like a big baby, just ‘cause you don’t want to have sex with me. Well, you do, but you don’t. And I don’t want to pressure you, but it feels like I am. And… I definitely don’t want you to just… give in because I’m being such an idiot about it. I want you to be ready, and do it because you feel ready to, but my impulse control is starting to get really weak,” she said hopelessly. “I dunno, maybe it’s just from all the stress of the past couple of weeks. Even your kisses feel like… like they take away my stress and distract me just enough to survive a little easier. And I’m… curious, about what more would do to me.”

She felt his hands flex around her wrists. Then, he let go entirely.

“You’re not pressuring me,” he said, caressing her face before turning it to face his. “I do feel like I’m hurting you, by saying no though.”

“You’re… not,” she grimaced, the lie evidently convincing no one.

He sighed. “It feels like I’m forever having these conversations.”

The guilt that had been brewing within Lila, for having started this discussion in the first place despite knowing that it would go nowhere and make him uncomfortable, grew. Of course he was forever having these conversations. He’d rejected Holly for six months. And, since she’d broken him, it made sense that he’d reject Lila, too. But it wasn’t fair. Lila didn’t break his heart. Yet… it felt as though she was being punished for it.

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she thought, pressing the palms of her hands against her eyelids. ‘You’re being selfish.’

“Sorry. That was kinda fucked up for me to say,” Asher said with an edge of frustration. Lila didn’t respond. It was kinda fucked up.

“I… I need more time,” Asher eventually uttered, his voice reluctant. “It… I’m not trying to reject you, even if it feels that way. It’s just… it’s such a big step, and I don’t want to pressure you, either.”

“You think you’re pressuring me?”

“If I wasn’t giving you such mixed signals, by saying shit that makes no sense like how I want to, but I’m not ready, you wouldn’t feel so frustrated, would you? And it’s that frustration… that might be confusing you, making you think that you want this when you don’t.”

“Confusing me?”

“Have you thought about what it would mean? Doing that… with me. Especially… since it’d be your first time. You can’t take that back.”

“Why would I want to?”

“Because… I’m me.”

“And you’re exactly what I want.”

“Lila…”

She sat up, almost dizzyingly fast. “Asher-”

“I’m sorry, Lila, but I don’t want to get into it. Not… any more than that.”

Was there something that he wasn’t telling her? Had… he actually had sex with Holly after all? Or had he done something that would make him undesirable to her? Neither of those sounded right, but his refusal to speak anymore on the topic meant that it’d remain elusive to her. What was he so uncomfortable about? Was it a problem with her?

The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs made Lila want to hide once more behind her cushion, but she stayed where she was. Asher stepped away from her, sitting again on her chair, as they waited for whoever it was to pass the open door.

It was, of course, her Dad. He knocked on the outside wall, which he didn’t need to since Lila had already locked eyes with him.

“What’s up?” Lila asked dejectedly.

“I thought you two would’ve been having a party up here,” her Dad said, stepping inside her room. “Since your investigation is over.”

“Yup, best party all round,” Lila replied sarcastically. “Don’t you see the balloons and streamers?”

Her Dad looked between them both before evidently deciding to change the topic.

“I have to head over to the office. Means you two are in charge of the household, while I’m gone. Your Mum might be coming home soon, but for the meantime…” he paused, glancing at the door. He exhaled deeply, shaking his head. “For the meantime, it means you’ll be unsupervised. And that means that having an open door, or not, doesn’t really matter.”

“Are you trying to encourage us to get up to something?” Lila questioned tonelessly. If her Dad had said this before she talked to Asher about wanting to do more, she might’ve even felt excited. Instead, she felt as though fate was surely a cruel mistress.

“I’m not trying to encourage anything, but since you’re apparently not getting into those types of things, even though you’re behind closed doors at Asher’s, it perhaps doesn’t make much sense to act as if I distrust you two.” His expression made it appear like he already regretted saying that, but he didn’t take it back.

“Besides, I am aware of how important debriefing is. I doubt you’d want to debrief with Daniel just across the hallway, even if his door is closed.” He stopped for a moment before adding, “Perhaps allowing you two to be behind closed doors here will distract you from investigating things you shouldn’t be, too.”

Lila detected an odd shift in his cadence as he said this – one that made her feel wary. Of course, they’d talked in the study downstairs about how dangerous investigating things as rookies was, and in particular the dangerousness of the morphine ring… but something was off. Had her Dad found something that… made it all so much worse? Something that she and Asher had somehow missed? His expression was entirely devoid of any nuance that she could read – not even mischievousness, or disapproval of the idea he was insinuating.

“Not sure how long it’ll be before I come back. You kids are probably getting hungry. Feel free to order something for lunch. I’ll send you the money, Lila.”

Before she could question her Dad, he closed the door. Lila flopped backwards onto her bed again, feeling the prickle of tears forming behind her eyes. If only she could act like she wanted to behind this closed door.

“I’m sorry,” Asher repeated quietly.

“I’d rather you weren’t.”

“Sorry.”

She felt as though screaming into a pillow might help, but she didn’t want to do that in front of Asher. She wasn’t mad at him, really. It still hadn’t been a month yet since they started dating. But if she was starting to feel like this, not even a month in, how long would she have to endure it until he was ready? She felt incredibly stupid for pushing the point when she knew the answer. All it did was make her feel worse.

At the same time, though, what Asher had said sounded strange. He was concerned that he was confusing her? And that this confusion was what was making her feel like she wanted to do this? That she hadn’t thought about what it meant, to take that next step with him? She’d already thought about whether she wanted to do it for the first time with Asher and decided that she did. So… why would he think she hadn’t?

She placed both her arms over her eyes. What did it mean? What was he trying to tell her? Asking him to elaborate seemed like a no-go.

She started to feel as though her mind was drifting to sleep, the exertion from her hockey game, relief that her conversation with her Dad went well, and the lingering feeling of anxiety from her conversation with Asher culminating into a bout of exhaustion that she couldn’t fend off.

“Are you tired?” Asher’s voice was soothing, and definitely not helping her to stay awake.

“A… bit,” she confessed with a yawn.

“Are you mad at me?”

“No. Just… disappointed.”

“Okay.”

She heard him get up from her chair and she removed her arms from her eyes, only to see that he was right next to her.

“Sleep,” he said quietly, moving her legs with ease and making it so that she was lying down properly on her bed.

“N-No, I want-”

“Just for a little bit. I’ll order food with Daniel and I’ll wake you up when it’s here.”

He pulled the covers over her before kissing the side of her forehead.

“A-At least use my phone,” Lila insisted, her eyelids feeling far too heavy to cooperate with her.

“Alright.”

“You remember my password?”

“Of course.”

She heard him open and close her door, the sound pulling her deeper into sleep. If it wasn’t going to be long, then she supposed it would be alright…

The next time she woke, it was to the feeling of a gentle kiss on her cheek. For a moment, she had no idea why she was receiving one before remembering, with a flash of embarrassment, that she’d fallen asleep while Asher was over.

“Food’s here,” he murmured. She opened her eyes. His seemed full of worry. Had something gone wrong with the food?

“Daniel insisted on Mexican. Said he wanted to feel the fire or something. He… seemed okay, when I talked to him,” Asher added, stepping back as she sat up. “I hope you don’t mind that I got you the same as what you ordered from the Banker. When we last had Mexican.”

“Sounds fine,” Lila replied, stretching. “We can eat up here if you want.”

“Alright. I’ll be a sec.”

He disappeared and she stretched again, taking a look around her room. What had he been doing while she was asleep? It looked like his school laptop was on her desk. Was he studying?

After a minute or so, she heard him knock on Daniel’s door and a gleeful “Thanks!” from Daniel. Asher then opened her door, a paper bag of food in one hand, and soft drink bottles in the other.

“Welcome back,” she smiled, gratefully accepting her food. He shut the door behind him and returned her smile before sitting down and taking his burrito out of the bag.

They ate in silence, with Lila feeling the shame about how she reacted to his rejection trickle back into her mind. Why couldn’t she get a grip on herself?

“I… was researching,” Asher said quietly, scrunching his burrito wrapping into a ball and placing it back into the bag it came in.

“About?”

He glanced at her, his cheeks tinged with pink. “A couple of things. But… mainly confirming that… well, that Grace’s relationship is illegal.”

“Ah.”

“I thought for a moment that it wasn’t. Since the age of consent is 16 and there’s no real limitations for that in the Criminal Code. I mean, even the definition of a ‘child’ under the Criminal Code is someone under the age of 16, so… none of us are technically children. But… I looked at the Education Act, and it’s in there – where a ‘relevant person’, so a student 18 years old and under, and another person, who has more power than the relevant person, or there’s a significant disparity between the relevant person and the other person in maturity, engage in sexual behaviour – it’s classed as sexual abuse, even if it’s consensual…” he glanced at Lila again before looking at his closed laptop. “But it’s not really clear to me about what happens once it gets reported since Grace is under 18, but over 16. Just that teachers are obligated to report on it, and it’s meant to go to the Police. So, with that, it must be an offence.”

“I… see.” Lila wasn’t quite sure what any of that really meant, but he seemed to be relatively confident about this. It didn’t make her any more excited to talk to Grace, though at least there was confirmation that what was happening was wrong.

“I don’t know how she’s going to react,” Lila murmured, feeling her exhaustion return. “I’ve… never had to have this conversation with Grace, or anyone, before. About dating a teacher. Do… you think she’ll end our friendship?”

Lila hadn’t expressed that worry before, but now that she’d let it out, it was the only conclusion she could reach. Asher rolled closer to her, his eyes serious.

“I don’t know,” he said simply. “But… I know that we have to talk to her about it. I think you’ll explode otherwise.”

“I… would,” Lila conceded. “I can’t keep it in anymore, and I’m afraid that if I get… I dunno, pushed to a certain point, it’s going to come out in this… flood. That I’ll out her, both as a lesbian and as being in a relationship with a teacher, in front of people who… shouldn’t know.”

“I’m guessing that includes Elise and Isaac.”

“… yeah. I think… if Grace wants to tell them, it should be up to her.”

“That makes sense to me.”

“If… she decides to end the friendship, what do I do?” Her voice was small, her shoulders falling. Even though the past week or so had been difficult, being around Grace, it didn’t erase all the years of friendship they’d shared.

“Give her time,” Asher replied softly, taking her hand in his. “She’d come around, eventually. She’d know that you’re concerned about her.”

“I just wish there was an easy answer to all of this,” Lila sighed. She felt a tear form and wiped it away with her free hand. “I mean, we could tell a teacher… but if Grace really is in love with Ms Alexander, then… that’s betrayal, isn’t it? I’d be really upset, if one of my friends made it so that my partner ended up in jail, or lost their teaching license, or anything like that, when I was in love. I don’t know if I’d ever forgive them, no matter the reason.”

For some reason, she couldn’t look at Asher. She still hadn’t settled on whether what she was feeling about Asher was ‘love’, or whether she only ‘liked’ him. If ‘love’ was even stronger than ‘like’, and Lila wasn’t quite at ‘love’ yet, then the depth of Grace’s feelings for Ms Alexander was unfathomably vast.

Even so, if it was Asher who was on the chopping block, so to speak, with the feelings that she had now for him… she’d definitely feel betrayed if Grace or Elise told someone about her relationship and made it end, or put him in jail, or hurt him in some way. Perhaps it would be different if she knew he had groomed her, or that the relationship was otherwise unbalanced – but there was no guarantee that Grace would feel that way, even in the future.

“Let’s… take it one step at a time,” Asher suggested, squeezing her hand comfortingly. “We’ll cross that bridge if, or when, we get to it.”

Lila nodded, unable to think of an argument against doing that.

“Let’s do something else,” Asher said, shaking her hand slightly. “Board games, or something.”

Doing something else sounded appealing, but there wasn’t anything in particular that piqued her interest for the moment.

“We… can try a board game,” Lila replied unenthusiastically. Asher looked crestfallen.

“We don’t have to.”

“I… I want to do something else, but nothing’s jumping out at me at the moment.”

He interlocked his fingers with hers. “We could… make out.”

She blinked rapidly, looking up at his flushed face. Her eyes darted to the closed door and back to his face. Instead of eagerness, the suggestion made her feel deflated, given their previous conversation.

“It’s okay,” she responded. “Maybe we should study.”

Now he seemed deflated. “Alright.”

Studying was never her first preference, but it surprisingly seemed to be the best suggestion. She sat cross-legged on her bed, laptop upon her lap, and began typing away at her assignments. As time wore on, the realisation that the weight of the morphine ring had been lifted from her shoulders became more apparent. Logically, she’d known that it had been back in the study, but now it felt real. Somehow, it manifested into incredible productivity, and she made fair headway into a couple of assignments.

Every so often, she looked over at Asher who was diligently typing on his laptop. He appeared incredibly focused, hardly meeting her eyes even when she stared slightly too long at him.

Eventually, Lila closed her laptop, her mind far more positive than it had been since their conversation with her Dad about the investigation.

“Asher, did you want to debrief?”

He closed his own laptop almost immediately, spinning to face her. “Yes, please.”

“How long have you been wanting to debrief?”

“Since we left the study.”

“Sorry… I kinda ruined that, didn’t I?”

He shook his head. “The fault’s mine. You’re within your rights to tell me how you feel about something I’m actively preventing.”

She exhaled deeply and he rolled to her once more, placing a warm hand on her cheek.

“Let’s debrief,” he said earnestly. “Please.”

“Alright… well… that went a lot better than I thought it would,” Lila began, taking her laptop off her lap and leaning backwards on her hands. “I thought I was going to die when Dad assumed I was pregnant.”

“We… kinda did set it up that way,” Asher replied quietly, averting his gaze. “I think if my daughter came to me with her boyfriend like that, and said they had something important to tell me, I’d assume they were going to announce that they were pregnant too.”

“I guess. But what else was I supposed to say?”

“Dunno,” Asher chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m glad he was receptive to the conversation, though.”

“Of course he was. It was pertinent to his investigation, after all.”

“I know. I think… he took us a lot more seriously than most adults would.”

“You reckon?”

Asher nodded. “I mean, it helped that we had evidence, but I think most adults wouldn’t care what us teenagers had to say about that kind of thing.”

“That’s stupid.”

“That’s adults, who think they know better.”

“Suppose so.”

Asher paused, pressing his lips together. “Do… you reckon your Dad’s going to wrap up his investigation this week? Like he said?”

“I hope so. I’d like it to be all over as quickly as possible. I don’t think I could stand seeing them around campus a second longer.”

“What, you think they’d get expelled?”

“They’d have to,” Lila reasoned. “Well, Jason at least, as the ringleader. Probably Livi, as the financier, then Zack and Jake as the couriers. As for anyone else… I’m not sure. I still think Vi has a larger hand in it than we’ve discovered, though. There’s just something about her that makes me think she’s quite a good puppeteer.”

He scrutinised her for a moment before nodding. “I think so too. That conversation we overheard at the Kennedy Oval sounded more like Vi was the boss, rather than Livi.” He hesitated before adding, “You know, Livi’s never been great at maths.”

“How do you know that?”

“Both Livi and Vi have done debating for years. Not for as long as me, but there was a brief time back in Middle School when we didn’t have a separate debating coach. During our morning meetings, Livi would be stressed out about maths and Vi would be by her side, either helping her through or just doing her homework for her.”

“I thought she didn’t know who you were when we first started interacting with them this year.”

Asher shrugged. “It was only for a term and it’s not like we ever spoke. She could’ve forgotten about me. Or it was part of her ploy to catch me off guard. Or she didn’t know why I was significant enough for Jason to warn her about pissing me off. Not like she really paid attention to that, though. I don’t know what goes through her head, nor do I want to.” He stopped again. “I did see three different types of handwriting in Daniel’s books.”

“And you didn’t point it out before?” Lila asked, slightly stunned by this disclosure so late in the game.

“I’d always assumed that Livi had someone helping with her work, but I didn’t connect Vi to that until just now. I did ask Daniel about it, but he didn’t have any insights at the time.”

Neither said anything as Lila pondered this. If Vi was one of the actual masterminds, then she really should be expelled.

“I also noticed that you took it upon yourself to lie about how we got the stuff from Zack,” Lila observed with a smile. “Thanks.”

He shook his head with a slight smile. “When you first suggested that I do that, I was really freaked out about lying to your Dad like that. But… I may have practiced a little. And then the conversation seemed to be going well, which made it easier. I think he cottoned on to that part being a lie, though.”

“He’s shrewd like that,” Lila shrugged. “I think I would’ve been more surprised if he didn’t cotton on, now that I think about it. I’m… just glad that he decided against punishing us. I’d… had this small worry that he’d tell me that you’re not welcome here anymore.”

Asher looked solemn. “Same here. Or that you couldn’t go to mine. Though… he did say that if he caught wind about me putting you in danger again, he would ban me.”

“I know. It just means we have to be careful when we go back to looking into… well, everything else,” Lila said with a sigh. He nodded, and they sat in a contemplative silence for a few moments. Then, something new crossed Lila’s mind.

“By the way… it surprised me that you defended Theo back there,” Lila commented. Asher met her gaze before looking down at his fidgety hands.

“Your reasoning made sense,” he stated. “We do kinda owe him for the lead. And… well. If he didn’t ask you out, I might not have realised how strong my feelings for you were. Still didn’t do shit about it, but… when I kept Isaac up until, like, 2am, the day after I found out about your date, he got really frustrated at me. Asked why I was so upset if I wasn’t going to do anything but make everyone else miserable about it. After that, I just ended the call but I couldn’t deny it at that point – not to myself, anyway.”

Lila pursed her lips before saying, “Theo kinda told me that it was one of the reasons why he asked me to go on a date with him.”

Asher immediately looked up, staring at her like she’d grown a second head. “What?”

“After our date, he figured out I liked you. Well, he basically knew the whole time. But he said that he thought it’d spring you into action – like he was giving you a push as your senior. And that he didn’t mind losing to you.”

Asher laughed, clapping a hand to his head in clear disbelief. “Damn. I’m such an idiot,” he finally said after sobering up. “Here I’d been, going around and acting like a dick about and to him – but he was trying to help me the whole time.”

“He did also imply that he was hurt by my rejection and that he liked me.”

Asher glanced at her before grinning. “That’s not hard, though. Man, I am such a dickhead. Real glad I didn’t throw him into the fire now.”

He leaned forward and cupped her face in his hand, brushing a thumb across her cheek. There was a tidal wave of relief flooding his eyes, and Lila thought for a moment that he’d take back what he said, about not being ready.

Instead, he leaned even more forward, grazing her lips with his before emitting a sound of shock as he toppled off her chair. His face landed on her chest, pushing her back onto her bed with a slight sting. In the same instant, a thwack told her that the backrest of the chair hit him from behind and he moaned in pain. The chair then clattered to the floor like a cymbal signalling the end of a drumming performance.

“Are you okay?” Lila asked frantically, trying to sit up. She couldn’t manage it and instead cradled his head to her chest.

“Owie,” he whined, the sound muffled against her body. “I’m alive. Just.”

“Someone’s silly today,” she said tenderly, running her fingers through his hair, and glad his humour was still intact.

“The heck is going on?” Daniel demanded as he threw her door open. They turned their heads his way and Lila saw Daniel’s cheeks turn rosy.

“Forgive my inexperience, but I think you’re doing it wrong,” he remarked, his tone somewhat bemused. “Why’s the door closed anyway?”

Lila rolled her eyes at Daniel. “Dad said we could close it. Thanks for your concern. Asher just fell off the chair.”

“Convenient landing spot,” Daniel snorted.

“Go away.”

“Alright, alright.”

He started to close the door before stopping.

“Just… gonna turn this off,” he said, flicking her light switch off and closing the door. Lila heard a distinct chortle from Daniel as he went into his own room. She sighed. Again, if only she could act as she wanted to behind this closed door and now in the semi-darkness.

“Are you still sore?” Lila queried, continuing to run her fingers through his hair.

“Terribly. I think I’ll be bedridden for months.”

She laughed.

“I’m serious!”

“Alright. I’ll call 000 to come collect you,” she teased, making as if to stand. He clutched onto her waist, turning her efforts futile.

“Can’t I just stay in your bed?” he murmured.

She smiled, another laugh escaping her lips. “It’s not as though you’re really in it at the moment.” She lightly stroked his cheek before adding, “I never took you for being such a sook, though.”

“I have my moments,” he replied softly, gripping her tighter. “Did I hurt you?”

“As long as you’re okay, I’m fine. That chair sounded like it did a number on you.”

He exhaled slowly before propping himself up on his hands on either side of her shoulders. He looked intently into her eyes, causing her heart to skip a beat.

“Now, I’d like to finish what I started. Without embarrassing myself,” he whispered, gradually bringing his face to hers.

This kiss was much more successful. He was so warm that she began to melt against him, focusing on the feeling of his body and the tingles his lips left across hers. She could swear that his heart was touching hers, what with how powerfully both seemed to be hammering against their ribcages.

It felt like no time passed at all when he pulled away from her, a bright smile on his face.

“There. That’s better,” he muttered, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. An urge to pull him into her for another kiss almost overcame her, but she settled for resting her hands on his biceps instead.

“Let’s go play some board games,” she suggested quietly, her breath shaky. His eyes glimmered with excitement.

“Say no more.”

They played board games downstairs for the rest of the afternoon and into the night. Eventually, Lila braced herself for the return of her Mum, but when a text from her Dad arrived, telling her that her parents were out having dinner together and to order something again, she relaxed considerably.

After their food arrived, Daniel joined them for a couple of games as they all ate. It wasn’t for long though as he retreated upstairs once he was done with dinner, despite Lila and Asher calling him out on his cowardice.

Another hour passed before Asher stretched, having won this round of Catan, and announced the arrival of Marlene. As Lila scrambled to her feet, she considered rescinding what she said about not seeing him tomorrow.

She battled with this thought as she trailed behind him up the stairs and waited for him to pack away his things. She still battled as they headed back down, her heart aching by this indecision.

“You don’t have to look so sad,” he said with a twinge of sadness himself. “We’ll see each other on Monday. Then, it’s camping until Friday morning. Plenty of time together.”

“I know… but… I do want to see you tomorrow.”

“I know. And I want to see you tomorrow, too. Except…” he rested his hand on the doorknob of her front door, pressing his lips together as though carefully choosing his next words. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. I have to pack, too. So… see you on Monday.”

She swallowed her sadness. It had been her idea originally, after all. There was no point in making him feel guilty for it. “Yeah. See you then.”