Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Six

The fervour with which Asher ate his lunch today made Lila smile. He seemed just as eager to get home as she felt. Was… he feeling like doing it again? She hoped so. He said he'd fix her want to do it again – could that happen as soon as they got back? Could she ask? Should she ask?

'What's happened to me?' Lila pressed a hand to her chest, her heart nearly jumping out and touching it.

"You've been pretty quiet today," Asher murmured as they waited at the bus station, hand-in-hand. "Still thinking?"

"Sorry," Lila replied softly. "I love you but my mind is such a mess. I… I'm trying to clear it but… I'm feeling… greedy."

"Greedy?"

She nodded. "Yesterday was really good and I just want more and more."

He was silent and she immediately wished she hadn't said that, the regret sinking heavily in her stomach.

"Then… I must be feeling greedy too," he said, his smile betraying the nervousness behind this statement. "I can think of a way to solve that if you'd like."

She swallowed, her heart fluttering. "I'd really like that."

He squeezed her hand tightly. "Then let's."

The silence they shared as they waited for the bus and through the journey home made Lila feel giddy again. Was he being serious? She hoped so. He wouldn't take it all back would he?

Once they returned to Asher's place, they slipped by Gabriel with a quick, "We're back." and nothing further. Her legs felt heavy as she climbed the steps to the rumpus room, and even more so for the next few steps into his bedroom.

She dropped her bag next to his bed before flopping backwards onto it, her face feeling incredibly hot. Was it a fluke? Just a one-time thing?

He climbed onto the bed, his face hovering above hers for just a second before he pressed his lips against hers. Slowly, her movements unsure, she started to lift her shirt. She almost thought that he'd stop her like he had in the past but, instead, he helped her, pulling it over her head and tossing it next to them...

Once it was all over, with smiles on their faces, they remained in bed for a few moments, their conversation soft and tender. She felt a surge of emotion flooding through her – one that she could only attribute as being love. She gripped his arm before pulling his hand up to caress her face, which he obliged without a word. Then, an overwhelming urge came over her.

"Ow! Why'd you bite me?" he jerked his arm back, rubbing where her teeth had sunk into him.

"I-I don't know," Lila stammered, the realisation that she'd lost her inhibition for a moment causing her to feel panicked. "It looks like my intrusive thoughts won."

Their eyes met and he ceased touching her teeth marks.

"It's alright," Asher chuckled, brushing her bare shoulder. "I get how intrusive thoughts can be."

"Sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't be," he said reassuringly, rubbing the back of her head. "Let's get you cleaned up."

He shuffled off the bed, pulling her close to the edge. Then, he expertly lifted her in a princess carry, taking her to his bathroom. He stumbled slightly but managed to set her down in the shower without any further issues.

"What's with the stumbling?" she asked curiously as she twisted the tap on.

"My legs are just shaky," he replied matter-of-factly. "You… feel really good." Her heart thumped heavily against her ribcage as she registered his words. She liked the idea of that far more than she was willing to express. He then jumped into the shower, stretching with a brilliant smile on his face.

She felt her cheeks turning red as she made to face away from him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, gently turning her by her shoulders.

"It's… well, I'm just embarrassed," she confessed in a small voice. "I don't really know what happened just then. It was a bit… feral."

He laughed heartily, pulling her close to him. "Whatever it was, I take it as a compliment."

Her embarrassment only increased, and she buried her head in his chest. He laughed again.

"I love you, Lila."

She made a disgruntled noise before raising her head to look at him. "I love you too, Asher… but you're being mean."

"Mean?" He stared at her in surprise. "How?"

"You're… just talking about these things so candidly."

He softly rubbed her lower back before reaching for the showerhead. He aimed it at her, washing her with the comfort of warm running water.

"Sorry," he murmured after her body relaxed some. "I didn't mean to."

She sighed, taking the showerhead from his hands and aiming it at his chest and shoulders. "Don't be… I guess we just went from 0 to 100, and I'm still trying to adjust."

"We did, didn't we?" he smiled down at her. "Not that I have any regrets… truthfully, waiting for as long as we did was killing me."

"Me too," she replied earnestly.

"I'm glad that I'm not alone in that," he said quietly, bending down and giving her a tender kiss on her cheek. He hooked the showerhead up to its original place with a grin. They began to soap themselves up in silence, though they'd share a smile here and there.

Eventually, he chuckled to himself. "Even still, I didn't realise how… wild you were."

Lila immediately turned around, her mortification rising.

"I-I'm sorry," she murmured, her voice melding with the sound of the shower. She raised her hands to cover her face as she continued. "I-It's just, I mean, I've been wanting it for so long a-and I don't know what's happening to me. My self-control-"

He gently spun her around before lowering her hands, his eyes intense as he held her gaze.

"You're like me," he whispered, kissing her softly. He broke the kiss, brushing a thumb along her lips. "We can be wild together. And… I'm fond of this little mark you've left me. It's almost like you're saying I'm yours. Something… I'd always wanted."

She rubbed where she'd bit him before holding out her own arm.

"Here," she said, her voice trembling slightly. He looked at her in surprise.

"Here what?"

She brought her arm higher. "You can bite me too."

He laughed, pushing it down. She only raised it again, a sudden feeling of shyness overcoming her. She couldn't look at him, instead watching the water from the shower flow into the drain.

"Asher, I'm serious. If… if the mark I left on you says that you're mine, then you better give me one as well. S-Since… I'm yours, too."

He was silent for a moment before she felt him gingerly grab her arm. She held her breath and he bit into her, a feeling that was only just barely painful.

"There," his voice seemed clouded with an emotion she couldn't quite place. Though, maybe it was more because there was a rush of emotions running through him. She looked up at him and he ran a finger along the mark he'd left, seeming mesmerised for a moment. He kissed it, before kissing her lips.

"Let's finish up," he smiled.

After they rinsed off, Lila stepped out, glancing at Asher as he towelled himself off.

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"I… I'm curious about something," she said quietly, drying off as well.

"Uh oh. What about?"

"Well… it just feels like you have a lot of experience somehow. It's like you know exactly where to touch me. I… I've never felt that good before. So how do you know what to do?"

He paused before continuing to towel his hair dry. He looked thoughtful until his face suddenly turned a bright shade of scarlet, his expression morphing into one of sheepishness.

"Like I said yesterday, part of the reason why… it took me so long to feel ready was because I was doing some research. I was really worried that… if I hurt you even once, I'd ruin everything. That… you'd be traumatised and never forgive me. And letting go of that fear was the hardest thing I've done for a while. But… now that I know that you want to keep doing it and the world didn't end, I guess I'm… just acting out my daydreams," he explained, turning away from her, his apparent shyness lowering the volume of his voice. "I've had plenty over the years of you… and me."

She grinned, the confirmation that she wasn't alone in her bouts of shyness relieving her. He was cute enough to contemplate doing it again...

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"I told you once we started, I wouldn't want to do anything else," Asher breathed as they laid in his bed, recovering once more. Lila briefly wondered if a box of condoms would even last them a day, considering they'd used two almost as soon as they arrived back at his house.

"No kidding," Lila whispered, placing a hand on her chest and looking up at the ceiling. If they went again, she thought her heart would explode. "Not that I'm feeling like I want to do anything else, either. Though… I am a bit tired."

He grinned. "If you weren't, I would've thought I was doing a bad job."

He then intertwined their fingers together, kissing the top of her knuckles. She turned her head to face him with a small smile on her face. His expression grew serious as he spoke again. "I do have to say, though… Lila, even though it seems like we're pretty isolated up here… we both know that there are too many ears for the kind of volume you give out."

She flushed deeply, attempting to escape his grasp. He didn't budge and she sighed.

"Same to you," she muttered.

He turned a bright red shade before nodding. "I'm not denying that I'm loud. I'm gonna work on it too, but… I don't want anyone coming up here. Ideally… I guess I don't want anyone to know that we've done it."

"Why?"

"Well… just…" he seemed really awkward now as he looked up at the ceiling instead of her face. "It's something private. Well, it's already a bit late to say that I don't want Isaac to know, but I guess I don't mind him knowing so much. At least, I don't want, like, Marlene or Gabriel or my Dad to know. Even though it felt like it was ages until we did this, it's a bit fast, isn't it?"

"Fast?" She propped herself on her elbow, looking curiously at him. Did he regret not waiting longer?

"Well… I'm just saying that we haven't even been dating for two months."

"So? Lots can happen in two months," she replied, shuffling so she could nestle herself into his arms.

He wrapped his arms around her and said, "That's true. A lot can happen in even 24 hours. I mean, I've had my way with you three times in that amount of time."

"Wanna go for a fourth?"

He shook his head, smiling from ear to ear. "I think you need to rest. At the very least, I don't want to hurt you by overworking you."

Lila returned his smile with a broad one of her own. "It's like you don't realise you're addictive."

His eyes widened. Then, he rolled over her, propping himself up as if to avoid crushing her.

"That's a dangerous thing to say," he whispered. "Especially since you're driving me absolutely crazy."

She bit her bottom lip, feeling herself twitch deep within in anticipation, before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. He reciprocated and ran his left hand over her chest before moving down to her waist when a shrill sound made them both jump.

"Shit, that's the intercom," Asher said, immediately getting up. He wrapped his discarded towel around his waist and staggered out of his room, leaving the door wide open.

"Dinner will be ready soon," Lila thought she heard Gabriel's voice say.

She definitely heard Asher's reply. "How soon?" There was a pause.

"Soon enough for you to start getting dressed appropriately now."

Asher sighed in defeat. "Thanks for the heads up, Gabriel."

"No worries."

Asher returned to his room, his face looking incredibly abashed. "I think Gabriel knows," he said, crossing his room and picking up Lila's towel. "Just hanging these up."

"Of course Gabriel knows," Lila replied plainly. "He said as much at breakfast."

"I thought he was just trying to be funny," he furrowed his brow as he made his way back to his room.

"Somehow, I think he'd rather not think about it."

Asher glanced at her before passing her clothes back to her. "Good."

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After surviving dinner, during which no one spoke, Asher once again declined dessert. Gabriel frowned, seeming about to complain when he evidently decided against it and waved them off.

Asher held out his hand for Lila, which she immediately took, and led her out towards the stairs before giving her a mischievous look.

"Wanna race?" he asked.

She beamed at him. "Of course. I'll win."

"I don't doubt it."

With that, she took off and he playfully chased her up the stairs. She giggled as she made her escape, hurrying into the rumpus room, then his bedroom and jumping onto the bed. He closed the door behind him before flopping on top of her, grinning all the way.

Though he had, of course, been playful with her in the past, now that they'd finally crossed their biggest hurdle, it seemed that he felt like he could fully indulge in that behaviour. She smiled, wrapping her hands around his head and pressing him into her chest.

There was something else about him that was different, too.

His lust, assertiveness and confidence – Lila had glimpsed all of these in varying amounts over this year. But now, this side of him, the one where they all combined with such raw intensity, was enough to make her quiver with anticipation whenever it made its appearance. If she could inject it all – him, the care he took with her, the way his touches lit her heart and body on fire – straight to her veins, she'd do it in a heartbeat. Electrifying, addictive, new and exciting – this stage of their relationship was just as he'd said back in July. It was dangerous.

In the absence of a needle, she'd have to settle for having him as close as possible – physically, emotionally and even spiritually. And… she'd come to realise that her initial assumption was correct – he'd still held on to some self-control when they first did it, but the more they had it, the more she could see it slipping – and that, in itself, was tantalising. How long would it take for it to fall away completely?

Asher ran a thumb over her lips, forcing their eyes to meet.

"You're giving me that look," he murmured, beginning to kiss the side of her neck. She emitted a gasp, her hand gripping the back of his head, bringing him as close as possible to her.

He pulled away with another of his intense gazes, his smile almost mischievous. "Dammit, Lila. What the hell have you done to me?"

"The exact same thing you've done to me," she whispered.

It was as if all the pent-up sexual frustration over the past year had culminated in this explosive weekend. She couldn't get enough, no matter how many times they had it. This feeling though, overall, took her by surprise. She wasn't used to this absolute release of her inhibition. She was glad that Clare had helped her get on the Pill. If she hadn't, then Lila couldn't see any other outcome than her getting pregnant over this weekend…

Despite all the activity, they managed to have one conversation in particular; one that felt so intimate, solidifying exactly how she felt about him even more.

Asher's face had looked desperate, his eyes full of longing. "I don't want it to end-"

"My love, I'm not going anywhere," she replied softly, looking into his eyes. "Even if it ends now, it doesn't mean you're never going to do this again. Of course I'll be back for more."

His face flushed deeply, tearing his eyes from hers. "How is it that you can make me shy in a situation like this?"

"It must be one of my talents," she breathed. Soon, it indeed ended again, and some time was spent in each other's arms. This... this was probably her limit for the day.

Eventually, they rolled off the bed and put on some clothes. It was far too early to go to sleep, so when Asher suggested watching something, Lila had no choice but to say yes – not that her mind was put together enough to think of an alternative.

It was strange – their normal routine dancing between something that was so unusual, new and different. Like… this was how it was always meant to be.

After some time browsing, they settled on a lets play series, with Lila against his chest. She smiled, remembering that, yes, this kind of warmth from him was great, too. They were silent for quite some time, with Asher stroking her hair. She was almost ready to fall asleep when he spoke.

"You… called me 'my love'," he said quietly, intertwining his fingers with hers. She met his gaze, shocked to find just how much emotion was brewing behind his irises.

"I did," she replied gently, "because you are. It just came naturally to me."

"I… really like the sound of it, coming from your lips."

"I'm glad since… I really like saying it."

His face reddened, though his eyes remained just as intense. "You're my love, too."

She wasn't prepared for how giddy that small sentence made her feel, her beam wide and sparkling.

"I've… also noticed that… you say please a lot when we do things," he whispered.

"I do?"

"Yeah." He leaned forward, the redness of his face even more apparent. "I really like it."

"You do?"

He nodded, leaning in even closer – close enough that their lips almost touched. "It's like you're begging for me. And… and that just really turns me on."

The way he'd said that… it was weakening the resolve she'd had to not go for it again today. She readjusted herself so that she could at least give him a kiss. He gently reciprocated, which surprisingly helped her impulse stay unactioned.

They continued watching the lets play series in a comfortable silence for an hour or so before Asher started yawning.

"Damn, I'm exhausted," he murmured sheepishly. "It just hit me all at once. Sorry, it's not even 9 o'clock yet."

"We can go to bed," Lila said, squeezing his hand. "You've been working really hard today."

He gave a surprised laugh. "On what? I haven't even touched my study materials today."

"On me."

"O-Oh." He paused before laughing again. "I suppose that's true."

They moved to his room, with Asher yawning again. Though he was clearly very tired, Lila felt wide awake now that they were under his covers once more.

The prospect of sleeping that night together in his bed felt exciting. For one thing, she usually slept with pyjamas on at home, due to the number of family members in her house, but for another, feeling his body against her back reminded her that they'd reached a new point in their relationship – one of utmost comfortability. She hadn't been able to fully appreciate any of this last night, what with the excitement of having had their first time together, and now she couldn't stop smiling.

She wiggled backwards, filling almost all the possible space between them with the curves of her body.

"Lila," he whispered, kissing her ear, "if you keep doing that, I won't be able to sleep."

"Why?" she asked with a mischievous grin that he wouldn't be able to see. "I'm just innocently lying here."

"Innocent, my ass," he murmured, his voice deepening with a quality that made her heart skip.

She giggled. "I don't know what you're talking about. Besides, I thought you were tired. Surely little things like that don't matter."

Evidently, he wasn't as tired as she'd thought.

He then wrapped his arms around her, kissing her gently on the forehead.

"Goodnight, my love," she mumbled in contentment, closing her eyes.

"Goodnight, my love," he echoed, kissing her once again.