Chapter Five

Lila resisted the urge to open Asher’s text and reply, which was going well until he cornered her in the locker room on Tuesday afternoon. He had suddenly appeared in all his scruffy splendour, his undereye area a ghastly purple, next to her locker after she locked the door with an off-seeming grin plastered across his face. It definitely didn’t reach his eyes, which looked clouded somehow.

“I know you saw my text,” he said in a light tone that seemed forced. “And you ignored me in English this morning.”

“I may have,” Lila said stiffly, raising a leg to help straighten up the bundle of schoolbooks in her arms from below. The distant banging and clattering of students grabbing things out of their lockers slightly muffled her voice as she added, “I simply don’t have the time, sorry.”

She curtly turned on her heel and began walking away towards the steps leading up from behind the locker room, towards her last class for the day.

“Is it because I told you off?” Asher asked, jogging to keep up with her.

“No.”

“Is it because of Holly?” Asher now overtook Lila and was walking backward so he could face her as she carried on up the stairs and across the limp, yellowed grass field, palm trees providing dappled shadows across the path she had to take.

“No.”

“Is it because of the project?”

“No.”

“Is it-”

“Asher,” Lila said sternly, no longer walking. He stumbled to a halt as she continued to speak, a gentle breeze picking up and providing relief across her slightly sweaty face. “I’m sorry I didn’t respond to you. I’ve been swamped. I won’t be able to come over. There’s nothing to talk about regarding the project since we’re finalising our own scripts. We can practice next week.”

“This isn’t about that project,” Asher said in a whisper laden with desperation, his face sparkling with apparent anticipation for her response. “I finished up writing all I could remember. I just don’t know where to go from here.”

Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see several classmates casting the pair furtive looks and she sighed. “You’re lucky I’ve got ten minutes before class starts.”

Lila guided Asher to a path running alongside the back of her classroom that was always generally secluded, even though a wooden bench inviting all to sit upon it was mere metres away. Setting her heavy books down on the bench, Lila crossed her arms and turned to Asher, who kept folding and unfolding his own as though he didn’t know what to do with his limbs. It looked to Lila that he was nervous now that they were very alone, though she couldn’t think why.

“L-Lila, I know I’ve thrown a massive burden on you,” he began. Lila cut him off.

“It’s fine. Really. You needed to let it out and I was happy to listen.”

“I think you’ve got the know-how to help me.”

A zap of electricity flushed through her veins at Asher’s words. Lila stared at him in shock. This sounded like an actual compliment this time.

“I’ve been trying to get my Dad to see reason,” he continued, ostensibly avoiding her gaze by looking at his feet. “But he still doesn’t want anyone involved.”

“Then I don’t think I should be getting involved,” Lila replied flatly. Asher paused.

“I… don’t know what else I can do besides finding her myself. And I’m not stupid enough to think I can do it on my own, nor am I stupid enough to get on my Dad’s bad side when I live with him and…” Asher swallowed hard before saying in a voice that was barely above a whisper. “He may have done something to her.”

Lila bit her lip, deep in thought now. Realistically, what could she do? She didn’t have a nose for investigating like her Dad. But seeing Asher so frightened and vulnerable left her feeling as though she couldn’t do anything else but try.

“Can I think about it?” Lila asked quietly.

Asher’s eyes glimmered as he took her hands in his.

“Yes, please do,” he said, shaking her profusely in what Lila assumed was gratitude. She quickly took her hands back towards her chest and turned away from him. The warmth from his grasp flowed up the rest of her arms and to her face as she tried to hide her attempts to slow her breathing down.

“Sorry, I just got really excited,” Asher said awkwardly. “Did I hurt you?”

“N-No, nothing like that,” Lila said hesitantly, turning back to face him. “I’ve got to get to class.”

As Lila began gathering her things from the bench, Asher clapped a hand to his forehead.

“Shit, me too! Don’t forget to text me!” he yelled in apparent realisation as he sped off without a backward glance at Lila, kicking up a cloud of dirt in his haste.

Lila could see in the distance her Biology classmate, Cecelia Walters, jump away from Asher as he flew past her. Other classmates were starting to meander towards her from across the hill and their overt stares at Lila deepened the blush on her cheeks even more as she hurried along to class.

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“What was that?” Cecelia whispered to Lila furiously as they jotted down notes regarding the inner workings of an animal cell, her rich, chocolate-brown hair gradually escaping from its loose hair-tie and brushing against the desk in time to her writing. “I almost got run over by Asher, of all people.”

“Nothing,” Lila hissed back. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t ignore the feeling that the whole class’s eyes were boring into her skull. Clearly, it was not ‘nothing’, but if she played it off just right, maybe it would fade away into the past before making its way through the wheels of the rumour mill.

“Are you guys dating?” Lucas Greenwood muttered, writing with his curly, sandy-blonde head low to the table, his wire-framed glasses askew upon his tanned, freckled face.

“No!” Lila shot back defensively.

“Lila,” called Mr Johnson in a warning tone from the teacher’s desk.

“Sorry sir,” Lila replied softly. The feeling that everyone’s eyes were glued to her only intensified as she started to draw a small diagram of an animal cell in her notebook, referencing her splayed textbook every so often. It was definitely dodgier than she would have liked, but it would do the job when it came time for revision. If she could read her notes by then.

As the class progressed through to a worksheet to be completed in table groups, chatter began to fill the Biology lab and Lila could hear snippets of her name here and there.

“It sure looks like you’re dating,” Cecelia said matter-of-factly as she distributed copies of the worksheet to Lila and Lucas.

“He’s got a girlfriend,” Lila said without thinking. Cecelia and Lucas gasped in unison.

“Who?” demanded Cecelia as she and Lucas leaned in close to Lila, their eyes shining with interest.

“I… didn’t mean to say that,” Lila groaned, leaning away from the pair.

“Well, you did, so you better cough up the goods,” Lucas said with a cheeky grin.

“She goes to a different school, so I doubt you’d know her.”

“Try us,” Cecelia replied, leaning in to the point that her chair was a millimetre from toppling over.

“Her name is Holly Reid,” Lila sighed dejectedly, doodling a spiral at the top left of her notebook.

“Dude, I know her!” Lucas laughed, as though it took him by surprise that he knew her. “She’s the nicest person.”

“How do you know her?” Cecelia asked, whipping her head to face him.

“We went to primary school together. She was, like, the most popular girl to exist and she wasn’t even mean about it. Just did her thing and was sweet to everyone, y’know.”

“She sounds like a good match for Asher then,” Cecelia mused. “Sometimes I think he’s too grumpy. Like, chill out dude. It’s just school. You don’t need to stress that hard about grades until, like, year twelve.”

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“Cecelia, you do realise that’s next year, right? Have… have you still not been taking school seriously?” Lucas asked incredulously. Cecelia rolled her blue-grey eyes but grinned playfully at him.

“That’s next year Cecelia’s problem.”

“Uh, I think that should be this year Cecelia’s problem-”

“Is there a problem?” came Mr Johnson’s gravelly voice from behind Lila.

“There’s about ten on this sheet, sir,” Lila said reflexively, not daring to turn to face their teacher. Mr Johnson chuckled as Lila felt two kicks under the table from the direction of Cecelia and Lucas’ feet.

“Nice spiral, Lila, but I think you should save them for later in the year when we talk about the ear. Get on with the questions please, team. I don’t want to have to assign you homework, especially since you have an assignment to complete still.”

“Lilaaa,” huffed Cecelia as the soft clacks of Mr Johnson’s business shoes fell away. “What the heck! You’re going to get us in trouble!”

“And then what?” Lucas quipped. “You’ll actually need to do schoolwork?”

Lila began to go through the worksheet without much enthusiasm, scanning the page to identify the easiest questions to tackle first. She briefly chewed on the tip of her rainbow-patterned pen as she concentrated, then wiped it on her hip absentmindedly. So… Holly is nice…

The edges of the hollow pit in her stomach felt as though they were widening ever so slightly. She grabbed a fistful of her hair as if she could drag herself away from her intrusive thoughts. Would she have felt better if she thought Holly was horrible?

“Well, if you guys aren’t dating,” Lucas drawled, writing down an answer painstakingly slowly. “Why are you so chummy all of a sudden?”

“He’s my partner. For the English presentation,” Lila said, quickly adding the last sentence for clarity.

“I see… I got stuck with this one for the presentation,” Lucas said, jerking his thumb at Cecelia, who pouted in response. “She doesn’t do anything! Here my poor parents are, sending me to a private school for better quality education only to be surrounded by imbeciles.”

“Hey!” Cecelia chastised. “I’m not an imbecile. Just unmotivated.”

“Why are you so unmotivated?” despaired Lucas, pulling at the sides of his curls. “This is only just one of the most important years of our lives!”

“Next year’s more important,” Cecelia shrugged, matching the gesture with her hands. “Plus, I think your Uni career will be more important than high school anyhow. I’m just trying to conserve energy so I can make sure I have enough thinking power to decide my career path.”

“Haven’t you already seen the guidance counsellor?” Lila asked, raising an eyebrow. “Surely you’ve already decided?”

“Have you?” Lucas asked, staring at Lila like she’d grown a second head. “Who even knows what they want to be at sixteen? I don’t even know if I want my license!”

“N-No, I haven’t,” Lila said, picking at her chin bashfully. “But I’m getting close! I think.”

“Christ on a bike,” muttered Lucas, sinking into his chair, a hand dramatically raised to his forehead.

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Lila threw her backpack on the floor of her room with a heavy sigh. Now no longer surrounded by her classmates, Lila crossed to her desk and sat in her chair, pulling a spare piece of printer paper out of her drawer. Plucking a random pen from her plastic pink pen caddy, Lila spun the paper so it lay sideways. She folded the paper in half before tracing the crease, dividing the paper into two.

On the top left, she wrote ‘Pros’ and on the top right she wrote ‘Cons’. Squinting at the words as if they weren’t in English, she wiggled her pen, preparing herself to write something down for each column.

Pro… could help Asher find his Mum… con… spending time with Asher… pro… chef made meals… con… he’ll boss me around… pro… he could help with my schoolwork… con… he’s got a girlfriend… pro… he’s got a girlfriend, so won’t be creepy… pro… I’ll be useful? I think… con… I have to keep it a secret… pro… we share a secret… con… I have no idea what I’m doing… pro… neither does Asher… con… not doing it means I have to stare at his sad face for the rest of the project… pro… it’s the right thing to do…

Lila continued listing the pros and cons that she could think of in helping Asher and found that the pros outweighed the cons by just a hair. As she counted them up again, Lila couldn’t help but wonder where Asher’s Mum could be. Of all the cons, the one that bothered Lila the most was not finding out the truth.

‘I am such a nosy bitch…’ Lila thought, shaking her head in disappointment. ‘And if the police can’t do it, something is better than nothing.’

As though on cue, Lila’s phone buzzed on her desk. Quickly picking it up, Lila saw a message from Asher in her notifications. Pulling the menu open, she could see that it was just a simple ‘So?’, but Lila accidentally opened it up. There was no turning back now.

I’ll play detective, she sent.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I won’t forget this, came Asher’s near-instant reply. Lila could imagine Asher on the other side, waiting with bated breath for her reply. For some reason, the thought made her smile.

Tomorrow? My place? Asher sent immediately following the previous one.

Gabriel will be here. This message was also instantaneously sent following the previous.

Should be okay, Lila replied. But I’ll need to check.

Asher’s reply came in the form of a .gif depicting Spongebob’s victory screech. Grinning, Lila locked her phone.

Lila trundled down the stairs and into the living room where her Mum was sitting on the couch, resting with her feet up on the ottoman and watching a Tagalog drama via YouTube.

“Mum,” Lila began, taking a seat next to her.

“Mm?” Lila’s Mum grunted in response, eyes glued to the screen.

“Can I go over to Asher’s tomorrow?”

Lila’s Mum didn’t respond, fixated still on the screen which depicted the moment the lead actor and actress were about to kiss. Then, an ad started blaring from the speakers. She tutted in seeming disgust as she turned the volume down on the TV.

“What did you say?” Lila’s Mum asked, facing Lila.

“Uh, I asked if I can go over to Asher’s tomorrow.”

“Asher this, Asher that!” Lila’s Mum cried, throwing her hands in the air. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“No, Mum!” Lila replied hurriedly. “He’s got a girlfriend. It’s for our English assignment. Like last time.”

Lila’s Mum reached for her phone and proceeded to tap and scroll on it, peering at it before looking up again.

“I’m sorry Lila, your Dad and I are flying out tomorrow. He’s got a networking conference in Sydney that he wants me to go to, for his work. We won’t be back until the weekend.”

“Oh,” Lila said disappointedly. “That’s okay.”

Lila’s Mum looked at Lila with narrow eyes, as if sizing her up.

“You know I want you to be independent,” she said slowly. “As long as you can get yourself to and from his place, it should be okay for you to visit Asher for your schoolwork. Just don’t come home depressed again.”

Lila gaped at her Mum, eyes wide. “You sure?”

“Yes, yes,” Lila’s Mum said dismissively, turning back to the TV. “I know you’re very responsible. And you said he has a girlfriend, and your assignment is almost due. Plus, Clare did fight me every day to visit her friends while your Dad and I went away on business trips. I knew I couldn’t do anything about it while I was away anyway. It just meant she’d hide it from me. Poorly. I won’t hear the end of it if I said no to you and she found out. I just don’t like that you came home so sad the other day…”

“Mum, that wasn’t anything to do with him,” Lila started to speak before her Mum shook her head.

“I heard all about it from Clare – that you were upset about your assignment. But, you’ve got to push yourself to finish this project, right? That’s why you’re so desperate to go.”

Lila’s Mum paused to give Lila a mischievous smirk, her eyes crinkling in the corners. “Maybe his smarts will rub off on you and you can be a nurse. Or maybe even a doctor!”

“Maybe, or maybe his smarts will rub off on me and I’ll become a really smart tattoo artist,” Lila replied in jest.

“Lila, I’ll reconsider my permission,” her Mum said sternly.

“I’m kidding, Mum.”

“I know. You can’t draw.”

Lila’s Mum smoothed down Lila’s hair affectionately, before turning the volume on the TV up, the ad break now over. Lila took this as her cue to leave and, upon returning to her room, sent Asher a message confirming the plan for tomorrow. Asher sent through a simple thumbs up in response.

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“Your Mum let you go while she’s away?” Elise gasped at lunch the next day, dropping her bag of snack pretzels into her lap, crumbs coating her dark navy school blazer.

“Yeah. I think Clare had something to do with that a few years ago. They used to fight all the time,” Lila shrugged, picking a piece off her burger bun to eat.

“Your Mum is way too cool to be an Asian Mum,” Elise commented dreamily.

“I’m just as surprised as you are, to be honest. I thought she would put me under house arrest instead.”

“Well, she probably doesn’t think Asher is much of a threat,” nodded Grace as she slurped her juice box loudly. “She knows him as the Dux and, to be fair, he’s a pretty quiet guy. She’s met him, too.”

“He’s very unassuming as well,” Elise confirmed, dusting herself off.

“If you don’t get the highest grade for this project, I’m going to cry for you,” said Grace, aggressively biting into a piece of broccoli that had made its way into her pasta.

“I’ll cry too, don’t worry about it. I just want it to be over. There’s only so much thinking that can be had about Daisy Buchanan,” Lila sighed.

“Laaame,” Elise drawled, stretching.

The trio sank into a comfortable silence as the sweltering humidity was briefly parted by a gentle breeze sweeping past them. Lila smiled in relief as the wind danced along her skin, tossing wisps of her black hair that had escaped its ponytail behind her shoulders.

“Lila,” Grace piped up suddenly, crushing her evidently empty juice box. “What are you going to do about your crush?”

“What?” Lila asked, whipping around to stare at Grace in confusion.

“Well, you know. Isn’t going over to his place so often confusing the issue? Can’t you guys study in, like, the school library or a public one?”

“Oh,” Lila paused. “I mean, Asher’s an only child so it’s pretty private at his place. We can practice or whatever without interruptions.”

“That’s exactly what I mean,” Grace replied, giving Lila a stern look. “If you want to just ignore it, I think you need to distance yourself.”

“Where’s this coming from all of a sudden?” Elise asked, straightening up, her brow furrowed.

“I just don’t want Lila to get hurt, is all,” Grace replied in a sullen tone. “The weekend sucked.”

“Guys,” Lila interjected, raising her hands in a gesture of surrender. “Thank you for your concern, really. I’m being serious when I say that he did nothing wrong. It’s my own stuff that I need to figure out. But that doesn’t mean I should let it affect our project. It’ll go away when we stop meeting so often.”

Elise and Grace both looked at Lila, doubt clear in the way that their eyebrows were half-raised and lips were pursed almost identically.

“Lila, you know that when you get a crush you can’t just ‘turn it off’, right?” Elise said, crossing her arms.

“I know that,” Lila replied, a hint of defiance in her tone. She didn’t have a crush on Asher, anyway. She was just nervous about helping him find his mother. That was all.

“An easy way to start though is to get a boyfriend or girlfriend,” Grace said matter-of-factly. “I’m serious about trying to hook you up, if that’s what you want.”

Lila stood up, collecting her rubbish.

“I’m good,” she said quietly. “It’s fine. It’ll go away.”

“You shouldn’t waste your time on someone who’s taken. Just think about it, at least,” Elise implored.

“You guys aren’t even in relationships,” Lila said pointedly, still standing over her friends.

“I am,” Grace whispered so quietly that Lila wasn’t sure if she’d heard her.

“Since when?” asked Elise incredulously.

“Since Friday night.”

“And you’re only telling us this now?!” Lila exclaimed. “Who is it?”

“I… can’t say. At least, not yet. Sorry.”

“Ugh, what’s up with all these secret relationships?” pouted Elise, also starting to pack up the remnants of her lunch.

“Sorry,” mumbled Grace, her normally pale face bright red.

“It’s okay,” Lila said, helping Elise to her feet. “You can tell us when you’re ready. Secrets can be exciting.”

Grace gave Lila a timid smile as she also got up to stand. “Thanks.”

“And here I was, thinking we were all single pringles,” Lila smiled back at Grace.

“Sorry to disappoint.”